Ep. 96 - From Postpartum Depression to Psychic Awakening with Anna Gannon

Hello, loves.Welcome back to another episode of Flip the Script with Vic.It's your host, Victoria Nielson.If you are listening and not watching the video, you're missing my smile from ear to ear because today's guest, Anna Godin, is one of my favorite humans ever, and actually, my very first intuitive mentor many years ago, who has really shaped how I show up in the world and also the integrity that I like to hold in all of my containers and just in myself.She is such a living example of what it means to lead from the heart.So, thank you for being here, Anna.Yeah.Thank you for having me.Like I was just sharing with you, it's just so good to be here with you and to see your face, so.Thank you.And we met, gosh, I think it was middle of COVID 2020.And Anna's been on her spiritual journey far longer than I have and she has some amazing stories to share, but it was so profound to me.It was Masters and Mystics, I think, it was my very first online container, ever signing up for anything spiritual, and Anna was one of the 6 kind of mentors and teachers that we got to learn from.And she graciously offered, you know, extra sessions with folks, uh, just to really get to experience what it was like to be guided in an intuitive way, and I remember you sharing your story of awakening and it really spoke to me not only because you decided as a new mom that you were gonna speak up for yourself and go on a big journey somewhere, you know, out of the country, but also that you had so much trust in what was happening to you and around you and through you at that point.Um, I would love if you could walk us back and kind of first maybe introduce yourself and say hi-but then share with listeners, um, yeah, what, what was that original kind of awakening that really sparked it all?Yeah, sure.Um, so hello.So nice to be with everyone today.Um, I guess to introduce-introduce myself professionally, I am an intuitive psychic and intuitive development energy work coach.Um, I do individual trainings.I do group trainings and my day-to-day is really doing, um, individual readings for people all over the world, which I just love 'cause I get to be with people, uh, which is a big thing of mine.And I loveI, I tend to joke that I kind of somehow manifested my dream job because I get to immediately go very deep with people and get very intimate with them within like the first few minutes of meeting them, and there tends to be a lot of emotion and just connection in those readings that I just could've never dreamt of, um, because I'm someone that really justI thrive off of that kind of depth and that kind of connection and that ability to see others and to be seen and felt.Um, so that's kind of like a peak in my, in my professional life, um, which I, uh, proudly kind of blend my professional with my personal.So personally, I have 2 children and a husband.Uh, we've been together for over 16 years and that's been quite a journey, um, just in itin, in itself, which I'm sure a lot of people can relate to.But I try my best to incorporate everything that I do professionally, so meaning living intuitively, remembering that we are connected and in relationship with everything in the way that I mother my kids, in the way that I cultivate my relationship with my partner, with my family, with my friends.So, everything for me, it feels, um, like you were saying, Victoria, like it feels integral to me that what I teach, I am practicing on a daily basis and embodying.Um, so that's, that's a big piece of, of who I am on both those sides.And as you were sharing, uh, my story of spiritual activation or, um, getting to this place that I've landed now is, is quitewhat I've come to understand quite rare, um, but I am really grateful for it and I'll, I'll share it.So, how long ago was this?So, about 10 years ago, I had just had my first daughter, um, or my first child.My, my second child is a son.Um, and I was really taken aback after I gave birth to her in the way that II don't think I was really prepared for motherhood.Let's put it that way.I am the youngest of 7 children, and in being the youngest, I was never around babies.And when I was growing up, there wasn't really any kind of child that I needed to care for, so I w- I usually kind of stayed away from babies and children 'cause I didn't know what to do with them, right?Like, I was like, "Uh, I don't know how to deal with that.You're like, "I'm a baby myself.Like, what do I do?"Yeah, exactly.That's how I felt, right?Like, "I'm a baby.I'm, I'm the baby of the 7."So when it came time to have a child, and I always joke with this 'cause one of my friends at the time, she had said to me, like, "I don'tI don't think you really know."I was pregnant.I think I was like 6, 6 months pregnant.She was like, "I don't really think you know, like, what's coming for you," you know?And I was like, "No, no, no.I know.I know what's coming."And I definitely didn't know what was coming.Like, I really thought that you have a child and it's total bliss, and you know, you just kind of strap them on like a backpack and you walk them around and they go with you everywhere.You know, I didn't realize everything else that comes with it, and I believe, personally, that what happened to me is when I had my daughter, um, it was a real rude awakening and I ended up emotionally really struggling with it, as well as, you know, physically, um, mentally, but emotionally was the, the real thing that challenged me.AndThere's a lot of variables that went into that.first thing is that I started working at a startup 2 weeks after I gave birth to her-which means that I started working full-time from home while taking care of a newborn baby by myself.Anna, oh my God.Yeah.I did that in COVID and it was terrible.It is, like, really challenging.And I, I also have been lucky enough in my career, um, personally and professionally actually, the last 10 years to understand that there are absolutely some women, parents that don't have this experience.Like, I have seen women run multimillion dollar companies while having multiple children, working from home, and doing this, you know, like they're baking a cake.Like, it is just real easy for them.I just wanna share, I was not that, right?So I was not that person.So the moment that I realized, "Oh my goodness, every morning at 7:00 AM my husband leaves and he doesn't get back to 7:00 PM at night."So I'm taking care of my daughter, and then the moment he walks in at 7:00 PM I'm literally handing her over and then going into the bedroom to get all the work done that I didn't get done.So it turned into, like, this never-ending, umEverything, everything bled into one another.Like, I was working 24/7, trying to take care of her 24/7, while at the same time trying to take care of myself.So, you know, I tend to think of it as just a recipe for postpartum depression, which is what I went through, uh, for 9 months.And I remember after 9 months, the, the literal feeling as if my head was peeking up over water.Like, all of a sudden I was like, "Oh, I feel like I can see and sense this other way of being that"Like, it was the first time I could realize I'd been underwater for 9 months.You know, I needed kind of that, that difference to go- Right?A little perspective shift."Oh, I have-" It was like, whoa." Yeah, I have not been okay."Right?And from there, um, fast forward, like, 5 months or so, when my daughter is a year old, I was running this podcast where I was interviewing, um, mothers, 'cause I had helped to start this company called Expectful, which was a meditation app for women who were preparing to conceive, that were pregnant, um, and that were new moms.And I wrote actually something like 365 meditations for that app.Uh, it was super cool.Is it still alive, by the way?So it gotThe company got sold to Babylist, and I don't know if they still have the same meditations.But what's really cool, uh, for any, like, moms that are pregnant out there is that I wrote a meditation for each week of pregnancy that goes through connecting with the baby and the development that's happening at that time, which I just think is, is really profound in our ability- So that's-to connect even deeper.amazing.Yeah.It was super cool.Um, and, you know, that's the, that's the startup that I was trying to manage working for full-time while doing all this.And, um, what happened from there is that I ended up interviewing this one woman, this one mom, and her partner, his name is David Wagner, he's a spiritual teacher, and he postedI'd followed him on, on Facebook after that, and I was, like, scrolling one day on Facebook and he had posted, "One spot left on my India retreat."And for whatever reason in that moment, I just looked at that and I thought in my head, "I'm gonna go."And by thought I mean in that moment I clearly decided "I'm doing that" and there was no convincing me otherwise.Right.Right?Like, "This is happening.I'm manifesting it now."Exactly.Exactly.And I think it's important just to note that, you know, I just said I was working for this meditation company creating all these meditations at the time, I was also a yoga instructor for a few years by then, and from the outside in I would probably look quite spiritual.However, I tend to tell people my journey has very much been body, mind, soul, meaning that I really integrated into my body ever since I was a young girl, I was an athlete.Then after I had my daughter, I really got seeped in meditation, the mind, understanding what the mind is.And then, what I'm about to share you was the last connection of really amplifying connecting to my soul.So I had, um, a lot of ideas of what it meant to be spiritual.I did not connect with religion, I did not connect with the word God.In fact, I feel like I was like, you know, just, anytime someone said it, I was really annoyed by it.Same.And- Same.yeah.Honestly.It was a challenge because I grew up Catholic, and I saw or felt like what either I focused on or what I thought was shown to me more than the opposite was a lot of people putting all their faith, all their choice into, um, "God," which I'm putting in air quotes, and then not really having the ability to take responsibility for themselves- Mm-hmm.which has been a, a real part of my journey.So I see this one spot left on, um, India retreat.I tell my husband that night, "I'm going."You know, he thinks I'm joking, I'm not, and, um, I end up going to India.Like I said, I have this aversion to the word God.However, that's all this teacher, David Wagner, is talking about the whole time.And so I end up on a retreat in India, which I felt very called to do, um, and I was like, f- I felt when I was there more frustrated than anything.Mm-hmm.Because I felt like I was stuck in this experience where someone keeps talking about God, and all I wanna do is just check out-and, you know, take a moment to not have anything to do and not make any decisions 'cause the past year with my daughter was like fatigue of just decision overload, always having to think, "What's for dinner?How am I feeding her?What's done?What's not done?Did I have enough time to do the work?"I just needed a moment, and it felt like that moment was being filled by, like, my arch nemesis, God.You were like, "Oh, you thought you were going on a vacation.Just kidding."Totally.Isn't that how, like, spiritual awakenings happen?I feel like you're like, "What the fuck?Oh, okay."Yes.And you know, it's funny because I say this, you know, joking, being able to look back on my own awareness, my own perspectives with a lot of levity, which I think is really important, but I also say it because I have found and even remember hearing David say, um, on this retreat, so I guess he had found that as well, that it tends to be the people that are the most skeptical, that are pushingback the most that end up having a really activated experience.Mm-hmm.And what I found, personally and professionally, is that the reason that that is, is because when you are really invested in something like having a spiritual awaken, like Kundalini, right?Like, people wanna have Kundalini awakening.They want all their abilities open, right?But when you really want that to happen, you're so focused on the stories that you've heard about it happening- Mm-hmm.that you're not really present for your own activation.That's so important, and I think sharing too that it's different than what you think it's gonna look like.So good.And, you know, I love thatWe're gonna get into your story because I think what happened to you is what I think most people think happens-like, when a Kundalini awakening occurs, and it's not.It can be, but it can be more subtle than that.Mm-hmm.It can be a completely different emotion.Like, I know for me, I've had multiple Kundalini awakenings now, and the most recent one was actually very sexual- Mm-hmm.and very like, "I'm in my juiciness," and that surprised me, and I didn't think they were connected.Even though your Kundalini energy at the base of your spine, you know, like, spirals upward-it makes total sense, but it wasn't until someone else said something that I was like, "Oh, that's what's happening, and I do this work, you know, and I'm in it."Um, so I think that's just really important to share that we perpetuate these stories, right, of, "I'm not intuitive," or, "I can't do this," or, "I'm not receiving," when really it just may look differently than it does for everyone else, and the experience that you have is the experience I believe that you need based on your preconceived notions- Mm-hmm.uh, your ideas, your perspectives, the past life information that you're bringing in.So, you know, I, I feel like you were probably holding onto a lot there, huh?Yeah.Like, when I look back on it, I feel like they were like, "Okay, well, it's either we do this now, or it's, she's never gonna get it."You know?So for me, when I, when I was in India, what occurred, you know, very long, long story short, and by long, I mean, like, it felt like forever.I was in India for 2 weeks, and it felt like forever.But the reason that it felt like forever is 'cause the focus was on being so deeply present with every step, every breath that you were taking that it felt like time extended, right?Just like how a childMy husband just said the other day, we were driving around, and he was like, "I remember being young and the seasons, you know, just felt like they were so much longer," and I was like, "Well, yeah, 'cause our perspective of time changes as we get older," right?Mm-hmm.What we're focusing on and what we're not.So in India, there was an intentional thing that David was doing that, you know, I look back on with such reverence, that he was stretching time.And I took that very seriously 'cause I'm a very dedicated student.So if someone tells me, "You gotta do this," I'm like, "I will do it, and I will really do it just to see if I can prove you wrong."Like, I will do it to see if it works or not.And if it doesn't, you can't say I didn't try, you know?'Cause I did your recipe and it didn't work.I, it's very, very insane thing in my head.Oh, I'm cr- I'm cr- So, whatever.I'm cracking up.I'm like, "Are you a Sagittarius?"LikeMaybe.I'm not.I'm an Aries.Aha, there we go.Very proud Aries.Um, so I was very present, you know, over these 2 weeks.And what was happening, just to give a little bit of context, is David has been doing these retreats in India, uh, for 20 years or so, which was also very important to me.I tend to just naturally gravitate towards t- teachers, especially if I'm going to another country, that have been doing it for a long time, because I understand the work, the practice that it takes to do that.So he'd been doing this for a long time.And there was this cadence to it.We arrived in a city, and then slowly but surely every day or every other day, we would kind of move and go more and more remote into India, to the point that we, uh, landed in the most remote town, which is called Alandi, India, if anyone wants to look i- uh, look it up.And in this town, there was, you know, this space where people had never seen someone that looked like me, right?It was very, very remote.And I remember children even kind of coming up and just staring at me, like they had just neveryou know?And I'm looking at them, and they're looking at me.It was this whole experience.But what occurred is that every town that, or village that we would stop in, we would go to the temple of that village.So I was spending a lot of time with David talking about God and, you know, us going into the temple villages.And every temple was different, but what I will share is that every temple was greatly alive, meaning that every time we went, there was a lot of people there.There was aliveness.There was activation.I mean, some were, like, dancing.Some were people throwing themselves on the floor.Others were a little more structured, but just as, as much kind of activation happening, right?And there was a lot happening in my body when I was experiencing that, most of which was judgment.Like, seriously, most of which was just like, "Why do these people care so much?""Why do they care so much about God," you know?And we end- Are they faking it?What's happening?Yeah.Like, "What is it?"You know?And, and again, I look back at my perspective with great humility for what I didn't know, which I think is important.And we end up in this, this village Alandi.We arrive at the temple, and as I'm going through the line, which, you know, most of the villages that I experienced in India, everyone in the village goes to the temple at night.It's, it's a ritual.Like how you eat dinner at night, that's what was happening in these towns, right?Everyone goes.So there's a huge line, right?And for whatever reason, and mind you, this is the last village, so this is the end of this pilgrimage retreat, right?This is when I decide, or my awareness or body decides, it's time.So I'm going through this line, and I start to, just from walking, and through the line what you're doing is you're going to kinda touch the deity.You're going to pay your respects, but also to kind of like be in relationship with the deity of that village.And you know, I don't think I've ever shared this part, 'cause I've shared this story on, on a few podcasts now, but I don't think I've ever shared this part.The deity of this specific temple was called Yaniswar, and I, I might be mispronouncing that.But the story behind Yaniswar is, 1, that he was very young and he contributed a lot to the Bhagavad Gita, to, to that.And the story goes that when he was, I believe, 21, he asked to be buried alive in Samadhi, which is, like, in enlightenment, in the, the lotus pose, underground, at 21- Wow.so that he could give his energy to that land forever.And they buried him alive in Samadhi, and a while later, I don't really know if we're talking hundreds of years, if we're talking a couple of decades, again, I'm not 100% sure, I just know little tidbits, little breadcrumbs, a vision came to someone in the village of Jnaneswar coming to them and saying, "You need to open, there's a tree root, you need to come and, and dig, digup, there's a tree root going through my neck."And the people in the village, apparently, this is the story, dug up, found him fully in Samadhi, no decay, anything, and a tree root- Really?Wow.in his throat.And they cut the, the root.And this tree still stands above, right, where he is believed to be buried.So I didn't know this story before that first time going in the temple, okay?So just, just to give you a little awareness.So I go, I touch the deity, right, pay my respects to Jnaneswar, which I had no awareness of really who that was or why it mattered, and again, I'm still in that skeptical, like, "Here we go, touching another deity in, in another temple."And like clockwork, what we would do after that, 'cause there was kind of a ritual, a pattern that David had created, again, looking back, well done, David- Yeah.um, that after you touch the deity, we would go into a different spot in the temple or the courtyard of that temple, and we would all sit down to meditation.There were probably, like, 10 people that I didn't know beforehand on this retreat that I had just gotten to know during the pilgrimage.So we sit down, and it's very tight quarters, right?'Cause remember, everyone from the village is there, so there's people everywhere, most of which are looking at us, because we're foreign, right?So w- there's, it's like, "What's happening?Who are these people," kind of thing, "What are they doing here?"And it's so tight that I'm sitting down, um, in a regular seated position, so I'm not in lotus, my legs aren't crossed, um, but I'm sitting down, my feet are pressing onto the floor, and I'm shoulder to shoulder with another woman in my group, and around the line, we're all sitting.And the moment that I close my eyes, go into this meditation, again, a ritual I had done before, since I had already kind of felt while walking through the line and paying my respect to the deity, like, I was kind of dropping into a meditative state, if anyone has ever experienced that.Kind of when time falls away, I guess is the, the way we could say it.I was carrying that with me, and then the moment I closed my eyes when I was sitting down, I dropped really, really deep, like into a space where I dissolved essentially.Mm-hmm.And in that dissolving, which was not intentional, remember, I wasn't trying to do any of this, this was just occurring, I was just very awake for it, but as I kinda dropped into that, I start to feel, and this is what's funny about the story about Jnaneswar, right, he was buried to give his frequency, his energy.I start to feel the literal sensation of electricity come up through the bottoms of my feet, I'm not wearing shoes, you don't wear shoes in temples, you leave them outside in India, I feel this electricity go up through my feet, through my ankles, through my calves, through my knees, my thighs, my hips, up my back, and then kind of drape over my shoulders, right?And when I say that I mean electricity, I don't just mean one sense of the slow-moving electricity that beautifully and gracefully moved up my body, I mean a jolt.Voot.That's the, that's literally the noise I could hear in my body, right?And the moment that jolt happened, y- immediately after, there was another, and it just kept happening, right?So every 5 seconds, this electricity, less than that, every second, this electricity is vibrating up through m- the bottoms of my feet and then going over my shoulders, through my body up and over my shoulders.voot.Right?And I start to, because the, the voltage of this electricity is so powerful, my physical body starts to shake side to side, so every time there is a jolt, which was every second, I'm shaking.So essentially, I just look like someone who's starting to shake uncontrollably.Like you would imagine someone having a seizure, if you've ever seen that in person or, you know, in a movie or something, that's what I looked like, right?But I was still in the seated position, and as I'm shaking, I start to see, remember, I went from someone, I'm already incorporated in my body, I'd spent, uh, some time then being incorporated in my mind, I start to see this thought pop up in my awareness of, "Oh my goodness, you know, there's so many people in this room with their eyes open, you look crazy right now.You're shaking.You need to open your eyes and come out of this.People are going to think all these things," right?So I see this thought, again, 'cause I had awareness then to see the thought and understand that I had choice if I listened to it, and in that moment, I see this thought and this memory flies into my awareness of another person on the retreat, you know, maybe a week or a few days prior to this experience that I'm in, had shared that they were having some kind of an experience in the temple and they felt uncomfortable with, I guess, a movement or something that their body was doing, that they opened their eyes and theycame out of the experience.right?And it shut it off.And it stopped, right?Mm-hmm.So for whatever reason, I have this thought, then I see this memory, and then all of a sudden I go, "Uh," like in my awareness, "I'm not gonna open my eyes."And the moment I make- What a badass.I know, really.I don't know who that Anna is-you know, but I look back on her and I just really appreciate her.Um, you know, I think she was just a, a mother in that moment.She was just like, "Mm."You know, like a mother bear.Like if I'm there and I left my one-year-old daughter to be here, I'm all in.Yeah.That's the kind of mother- I'm gonna get everything I can- Yes.out of this.Exactly.Like, I am all in, right?Ah.So, the moment I make that choice to not open my eyes, and I think this is a really important to say, like thing to just reiterate what I just said, the moment I made that choice, because choice is a really big part in all of this, instantly when I chose I'm not opening my eyes, that electricity shifted.It went from going up through my feet to my shoulders to now vibrating all the way up through my neck and to my head.Right?Sorry, I just wanna- Is it micro-orbiting almost?Like as, as you're talking I'm feeling like it's like the Kundalini micro-orbit, where it's going up and around and up- So-and around.for me, from my memory, it was just straight up.So it was- Right.it was voop, voop, voop.So just one line, one current of electricity, but straight up the body, right?So I didn't feel that down loop yet.Mm, okay.Yet is the keyword.Yeah.UmSo all the sudden, you know, this electricity now is building and building in my head.And when I say, you know, building in my head, I really mean it.Imagine that you are being what feels like electrocuted.You know, often people will be like, "But what was the sensation?"And I'm like, "Electricity."Right?Like, I really mean it wasYou know, I really mean that we are all electromagnetic.Mm.And it's not like we're walking around with our awareness on that specific part of ourselves.This was a moment where all of my awareness went voop right into the electrical circuit that is our body, and it was all I could feel was the electricity, right?So it builds and builds in my head to the point that, you know, you might imagine, that I was like, "If I stay in this, my head is going to explode like a watermelon under pressure."You know?Like, it was so intense.But again, what happened is I see this thought, voop, pop up in my awareness."Your head's gonna explode.You need to open your eyes and come out of this."And same thing, I see the thought and the thought activates a memory of another person on the retreat maybe a week prior or a few days prior who had said they were having an experience in a temple and they felt so much pressure in their head that they thought it was gonna explode, so they opened their eyes and they came out of it.So I see this, I hear the thought, see the memory, and I go, "Fuck it."Like in my head-I literally remember thinking, "Fuck it.Let it explode."And again, the moment I made that choice, which I know sounds crazy and I know sounds really out there, especially as a mother of one, right?And I do question.I have put myself in some weird experiences-since I became a mother.I went to the Amazon, you know, jungle and literally went to find anacondas, you know?Like I do questionable stuff, I'm not gonna lie.But this, you know, in my head I made this choice because, uh, there was something in me that was just wanted to call bullshit.Mm-hmm.And the moment I called bullshit, the moment I went, "Fuck it, let it explode," again, I made that choice, all the sudden, voop, I start to see, I feel this electricity.The electricity builds more and more in my body, but now visuals come in.And I just wanna share as someone who teaches intuition, it took me many years to share the visuals because I felt like, "No one's really gonna get that."Visuals, you know, it's always very individual- Really?towards the person.Mm-hmm.But from teaching, you know, intuition, I've come to understand the value, the symbolism, you know, that it is literally an intuitive ability, right?So- Absolutely.what I started to experience, that I know now was very intuitive, is that I saw this black liquid starting to stir in my pelvis, right?And when I say black liquid, I mean it.I mean, like, if you could imagine- Gasoline?gasoline, fuel, yeah, just starting to spin in my pelvic bowl.I could feel the spin.I could see the spin.And so as I'm getting electrocuted now, I'm also kind of undulating, right?Then, at the same time as this visual, this spinning is having, happening in my pelvis, I start to see what is, um, called a compass.You know, so if you've ever been around architects, my dad was an architect, they used to use this tool called a compass to draw a pretty, um, a good circle, right?Yes.Symmetrical circle.Okay.Yeah, yeah, yeah.I start to see a compass spinning on the top of my head, right?So I'm feeling this spinning on the top of my head and this spinning in my pelvis, and what I can feel, especially while looking back and try to interpret, is that it was almost like 2 poles of a magnet- Mm.starting to activate, so the stirring of the, the spinning of my head and the stirring of the, spinning of the pel- pelvis.And then, all of a sudden, these 2 things span enough, the electricity built so much in my body that all of a sudden I felt, heard, and saw thisAnd the moment the poof happened, I was engulfed in this gray smoke that circled all, very dark, almost, like, blackish smoke that started to swirl around my whole body.And it was as if all the pressure, all the electricity, the magnetism from these 2 poles that had built was kind of stretching out to what I can interpret now as my electromagnetic field, right?So all of this is building, building.You know, you can imagine it's like, you know, in a, in a m- in a song, when it, like, really reaches its peak.Yeah.Right?Like, I'm at that, like, peak moment, like, "Something's happening," right?Which I actually learned, I feel like you would love this, I learned recently that the word threshold, the definition is that just when something starts to change, like, there's a- Oh.difference that starts to happen.When we hit a threshold, it just means that something new starts to occur, right?So th- it was like- Wow.this threshold moment, and what's so interesting is in the middle of this, like, crescendo, is that what it's called?Like, the middle of this- Yeah.Yeah, yeah.That's exactly-what it is.Yeah, the middle of this peak experience, David, the teacher, taps me on the shoulder.Middle of this peak experience, I get a little tap on my shoulder, right?I have no idea how long I've been in this experience to this day.I can say that usually in the temples we would meditate for maybe, like, 40 minutes, so maybe I was in there for 40 minutes, but it felt to me, you know, like a minute.And he taps me on the shoulder and what do I do?I open my eyes naturally, right?And I remember, it's so ingrained, burned into my awareness, that when I opened my eyes, I looked right at him and he looked right at me and there was this unspoken moment of like, he's looking at me like, "What the fuck just happened to you?"And I'm looking at him like, "What the fuck just happened to me," right?And- Like, we know something just occurred.Yeah.There was definitely, like, this exchange of like, "Something crazy just occurred."You know, "I don't know.Does he know?Does he know?"You know?Yeah.So I stand up because that's the next thing after the ritual, we would meditate and then we would kind of go into the courtyard of the temple and hang out.So I stand up and the moment that I stand up, maybe I take a few steps, all of a sudden I kind of jerk forward like I'm going to purge, and my whole body bends forward, right?Um, and, sorry, I keep, like, I just have to s- are we recording 'cause does it say- We are.Okay.Okay.I was like, "Did it say recording?"I was like, "If it's not, then we've just missed this entire amazing story."I know.But no, no, no.It's recording.I had to just calm my mind 'cause I kept, like, looking around, I'm like, "I don't see recorded."Um- You got us.okay.In heres mind, we are recording.Cool.And it's okay, yeah.Thank you.I feel so much better.So anyway, back to almost purging.a- So-natural segue.Exactly.So my body, um, you know, bends over like I'm gonna purge, and I do, like, feel like, "Oh my goodness, something's about to come out of me."And I, I kind of bend over and then the moment I bend over, my bodyAnd I just wanna preface here that, like, I was not doing this, my body was, was doing these movements.They were not intentional.So I crawl forward and then immediately I stand straight up.And the moment I stand straight up, I just start hysterically laughing.Like, inconsolable laughter.And I'm walking around and, you know, it's kind of serious in a temple, like, to laugh as you know.So I'm, like, feeling very uncomfortable because I feel I have lost complete control over my body, my emotions, my mind.You know, like, I, it felt like I was crazy almost immediately.And then I fall silent.And everyone that night, I remember, um, in the group was like, kind of like, "What happened to you in that temple?Like, I saw you shaking.What was going on?"You know?And I'm just like, "I can't talk about it.Like, I can't.""No, no, no.Like there's no, you know, I don't have words."And everyone's like, "But wh- I, I could feel you."And I remember one of the women who was sitting next to me when I was going through that, she felt the shaking.And she was like, "Oh my God, I have like total meditation envy.What's happening?"You know?And I'm like-"I can't talk about it."So it wasn't untilAnd then, oh, and I forgot to say this.Even though I opened my eyes, I was still getting electrocuted.So when I stood up, when I walked around that whole evening, I was still getting electrocuted.I went to bed that night, I was still getting electrocuted.And I remember having the thought when I was going to bed, "I'm gonna wake up and everything's gonna be fine.I'm just gonna wake up and "And then I wake up and I'm still getting electrocuted and I'm like, "Okay, I'm just, I need to eat.Like I'm going to eat and everything's gonna be fine."You're so calm.I feel like if this was still happening to me, I'd be like, "What is happening?I am going crazy."LikeYeah.I do have to say, I tend to be very calm under pressure.It's a, it's a part of me.And I, the only reason I know that is 'cause my husband is the opposite.So like when something like, you know, happens that's uncertain or out of nowhere, it's just very comical 'cause I get calmer and he gets really, you know.Hormone-cyrical.Totally, right?So that is a part of my nature, I would say.But we wake up the next morning and we kind of sit in what we would normally do, we sit down and kind of talk about the night before and that's when David starts to talk about this word Kundalini.And maybe he had talked about it before.This was just the first time maybe I'm actually listening, you know?Who knows?But all of a sudden he's like talking about Kundalini.I share with the group what I experienced, you know, he's echoing more Kundalini and I don't know what the means at the time.I'm kind of listening to him, but I'm also still in that skeptical state of like, "How am I experiencing all this, um, that I don't believe in?I don't believe even that this electricity is going through me, but how do I manage this 'cause I can't deny something I'm experiencing."So it felt very disjointed.Then we go to breakfast the next morning, I remember like drink, or eating the soup, um, for breakfast and like literally I'm shaking so the soup is falling off the spoon.So like, I can't even eat the soup because it's falling off.And that was the moment I was like sitting in a booth and I looked at David and I was like, "Okay, how do I make it stop?"Like and I was dead serious, like, "How do I turn this off?"You know?And I was like, "It's in the ground, so like how do I just disconnect from the ground essentially?"And he was like, "It's not in the ground."And I was like, "No, it's in the ground.Like it came up through the ground, it went into my feet, it went into my body, it's, it's in the ground."And he's like, "No, it's in you."And I was like, "No, it's not in me."And I remember one of the women sitting next to him and she like kind of was, like shook her head and she's like, "No, it's in you."And I refused to like agree.You know?I was just like, "No.No, no, no.No, no, no.There's a way to turn it off- Yeah.and it's outside of myself.It's in the ground.And you're gonna tell me how.Yeah.So fast-forward I think a day or 2, I go to the airport.I remember going in the bathroom and like literally washing myself, like in the bathroom, like going in a stall because I was so covered in dust and dirt, I don't even know theI think I had been showering with buckets at that point.So I'm like in the bath gettingOr not in the bath, in a stall, getting electrocuted still, right?Trying to wash myself off, looking at myself in the mirror like, "What the hell is happening?Why can't this electricity just stop?"Then I get on the airplane, I'm like, "Well here we go.The moment that these wheels are gonna lift off the ground, I am going to stop getting electrocuted.I will no longer be connected to this ground, and that will be it."And then I remember literally hearing, you know that moment when you're in an airplane and you can feel that the wheels have lifted?And I felt the wheels lift up and I'm feeling the electricity in my body and I'll never forget just in my body going, "Fuck, it's in me."And all of a sudden, and looking back, you know, it was probablyThis was probably the best experience that could've led me to do what I do now because it was in that moment that I realized without a doubt I was responsible for this electricity.I couldn't blame it on the ground.I couldn't blame it on that deity.I couldn't blame it on David.I couldn't give my power to anything else.It was on me.This electricity was surging in my body and it was up to me to figure out what it is, how to turn it off if I could, which I spent the next 3 months doing.So I came home, I continued to get electrocuted for 3 months.The I remember the first thing that I did when I came home is I ordered a book called Body Electric and I was like, just like, "Tell me how this works."Like, "How, how am I"And I started to read all these books on physics, anything I could get my hands on to understand electricity, right?And those books really helped, understanding electricity, how it works in a current, how electricity creates magnetism.All these things helped me to logically understa- stand what would ha- what was happening to my body and they were absolutely 0 use in being able to turn it off, right?So to turn it off, I had to pretty much for, I would say, really focus for about a month to understand where the activation was literally coming from in my body, and this comes back to what you were just sharing about how you felt kundalini- kundalini sexually.Hm.Because there was a button, there is a button in all of us and it's about, like, 3 inches under our navel and at the center of our body, right?Almost like the center, a little up, not the center of the pelvic bowl but kind of like if you could imagine- There you go.your pelvic bowl as full, like soup, like a bowl that is full of soup.It's the center of the top of the surface.And once I could feel that all the activation was activating from this button that I call, I was able to kind of, like, switch the button on and off.So, like, even in this moment, you know, it's been 10 years, but even in this moment as we're sitting here, I'm activating the button and can feel electricity surging through my body.And if I was continue, which I don't do often, and I'll share why, if I was con- to continue to activate this button and activate this electricity over and over again, I would then really be able to feel the magnetism because the current would be created even more.Remember, this is happening no matter what in our body all the time, but I'm just becoming aware of the electricity which makes me aware of the magnetism which makes me aware of my electromagnetic field, right?The reason why I don't do that and don't recommend it is because electricity is naturally very fiery.It's, it's naturally very, um, overwhelming.It can quickly burn out our systems.It's a very action- I remember you sharing this.Yeah.It's a very action thing, right?Whereas magnetism, it's more if we wanna talk about, like, the difference between more, um, feminine or masculine frequency or, like, the opposite ends of yin yang or positive or negative on a magnet, right?These are all the same- Mm.kind of references.Um, the one that is more yang is the one that is kind of activating, right?Whereas the magnetism, the more yin, the more feminine, is receptive, it's pulling something towards it, right?So I had to learn how to not run so electric and how to kind of be able to feel the electricity but also balance and cultivate the magnetism.Um, with this experience, what occurred is what led me to do what I do now which is I teach people, like I shared, how to activate their intuition.And with my kundalini experience, which I know isn't everyone's, um, all of my intuitive faculties, abilities, gifts, whatever word we wanna put on them, were activated all at once, meaning that I- Which, no thank you.I would know.Yeah, not- I don't want that.Like, everyone says, like, "Oh, I wanna be able to see whatever."No, I don't-wanna see the dead people.I know they're there.I know they're there.I don't need to see them.Like- Yes.you, you can activate, like, other parts of my intuition please.Like, you know, I feel like people are probably like, "Oh my God."Like, Anna is a very unique story guys but- Yeah.I think the, the main point she's making is that we have choice and free will.Mm-hmm.And that's what makes this less scary is that yes, if you were to have experience like this or yes, all of your clair's were turned on at once, you have free will to say, "No, little less of that, little more of this," you know, after a while, after you begin working with it, after you form a relationship with it, after you begin to understand it.Yeah.Um, so yeah.Turning them all at once I feel like your life was probably like, "What?"Yeah.What I, what I always share with people because just to give, like, a tangible experience of this, I started to, you know, see energy, uh, meaning also see energy around people, see people that had passed.All of a sudden I could see the subtle rather than just the physical.I could also start to hear which is my strongest gift.I'm open in all of them but my clair, what they call clairaudience, clear hearing, is just impeccable.I could hear people's thoughts, I could hear messages, tones, um, things coming from, you know, beyond almost like what you could think of when someone says they channel, right?That's more clairaudience if it's coming through in the, in the vibration of thoughts or words.Um, I could feel sensations like if someone was having an emotion near me, I felt that emotion in my body as if I was experiencing it as well which is, um, clairsentience, right?Like, clear- Mm-hmm.feeling.Uh, I would know things that felt very uncomfortable to know about other people, um, and that, that was a rude awakening.I could also kinda smell energy, I could taste energy.And just to say, we are all doing this all the time.It's just again, like I said about we're electromagnetic, uh, just in that moment I was tuning into something that's always there and getting a rude awakening of it.So rude that I, umAt certain moments throughout those 2 years, I thought I should be in a mental institution, and really understood why many people probably are.Yeah.Some of which I truly, from that experience, do not believe that there is something wrong in the mechanics of, of the design of the human.I think what is occurring is someone is being overloaded with more than the 10% of reality that we tend to see.They are seeing the other 90%, or they are seeing even just 50%.And if it doesn't fit into what we believe is true or real or logical or within reason of something being a healthy awareness, we tend to deem it as, "You are crazy.Something is innately wrong.You are broken."And I had to teach myself, which just, I just wanna share, I d- I hope you never have to teach yourself.I, this, I had to teach myself to believe my experiences over my beliefs.Mm.And that took forever to detangle, all these things that I thought were real, that I thought were true, that other people had told me were real or true.And I had to start believing what I was experiencing, which led me to really understand intuition on such an intimate level, and if there was meaning as to why I was blasted open or activated in this way and, and why I've come to teach people, uh, about these abilities.I believe that I experienced all of these and had that experience so that I could sit with people when they are activating any of these gifts or all of these gifts and understand what they're going through.I can really them.Oh, absolutely.Right?You blow my mind, like, in sessions when you, I was doing stuff and you'd be like, "You're moving too fast."And I'd be like, "Wha, what?"And like, like, you, but you were like, "I can tell what you're doing."Like, you know?Like, "I know."And you know, I, we're getting close to time here and I, I, I hate to even wrap it up.I feel like we need a part 2.But I want people to understand that they can do this too, and that actually tapping into your intuition and your clair's, even if they're not blown wide open, is what's going to help you ground your energy on this earth- Mm-hmm.help you be more of yourself.You know, I think of all the things that we did together, one of the lessons that you really drilled home for me was you have to ground.Like, you have to ground.None of us are as grounded as we think we are.Like, you have to call your energy in from the earth, from the heavens, like bring it into your vessel, because then you're fully present with what you're hearing, seeing, feeling.And I start my day, not every day, but most days with that same meditation that you taught me.And it's the same one, honestly, that I teach my clients because it helped me so much to understand that every day my energy is different, every day I'm gonna feel different things, but that I'm also shaping that reality, and to your point, discovering what's true for me.Mm.And when you said you had to unravel those stories, I really felt that so deeply 'cause I feel like that's the journey that we're all on is to unravel all the stories that we have been told, to then figure out what is true for us and what is our reality.And I think that's why you're able to come with such compassion to everyone around you- Mm-hmm.because you're like, "I've been through that.I know what it's like to experience that."And it doesn't make you broken.It doesn't make you weird.It doesn't make you different.It makes you human.Yes, exactly.Yeah, and you know, the, the practice that you're referring to is, is called Tree of Life and I actually learned it, um, from my, one of my mentors, Maureen Pelton, and she was a huge part of my journey and experience in, you know, when I was blasted open, she is the one that really taught me how to harness these abilities, how to do all the things that now I teach, right?How to clear energy, how to ground, how to embody, how to exchange energy.Because without that, I was just what felt crazy, right?It was a wild experience.So she really helped me to hone those gifts, so I love that you're passing them on and just wanted to say her name in such reverence for her.Um, and you know, you touched on, like, this is something that anyone can do and I agree, grounding, earthing, definitely something to look into.It essentially just means you go outside and you put your bare feet on the ground.And one thing that I would like to share is just, you know, remember that at 1 point in our existence, humans were walking on this Earth with their bare feet.And just think about all the re- all the information that we lose from having shoes on and not tapping in and really feeling and sensing.Just like we use our hands to touch something, you know?When I'm shopping for clothes, I'm like the craziest person ever.I'm literally just touching, like I'm just scanning and touching.And if I don't like the way it feels, I'm not even gonna, you know, pull the shirt out to look, to see what it looks like, right?Like we get so much information through touch and that same thing is happening with our feet.The other thing that I wanted to share is intuition, um, and being able to activate your abilities is really just about where you are putting your attention and really where you're cultivating relationship.Mm-hmm.So I'm sure if you've ever liked someone, like your partner, right?I'm sure when you guys met you were like, "Well, I wanna put some focus here, you know.""Like I'm kinda into this guy and like I'm gonna put my time there and like I'm gonna think about them, you know?And when, when we're together I'm gonna be super present."You know?And I'm just like, you know, all these things that we do when we're in relationship, we put our focus, our attention there and then we learn and we grow and we connect.It's the same thing with intuition.If you wanna cultivate your intuition, perfect practice, go outside.If you wanna add something, do it barefoot so that you're grounded, but take a moment to start talking to a tree.Mm-hmm.And then notice when you greet this tree do you see some kind of color?Do you maybe hear a response that feels like it's just coming outta your own thought?And even if it does, go with it, right?Do you smell something that comes through?Do you feel an emotion when you put your hand on the tree?And yes, I know what I'm saying sounds like make believe, I know it sounds like child's play, and rightfully so.That's because that's what it is.When you were a child, you were not living in your logical brain.You weren't walking around thinking that everything had to make some kind of sense.It didn't have to be logical or fit into some box.You were just inexperienced.You were experiencing things and that's what intuition is and, and why I believe it's a huge, huge thing of our future.Because the logic and knowledge and the things, that information is at our fingertips.You put anything into Ja- ****** or whatever the hell it's called, in a second you get it back, right?You get all the information back.But what we're losing is the sensation, the experience, the wisdom, right?So I believe that the future and what people are going to really want and yearn for is connection through visceral experience, through their body, remembering that they're connected to everything.So yes, intuition is right at your fingertips, you can practice at any time.It's not woo-woo, it's play, it's experience, it's just, it's deep, deep attention and focus and relationship building.So just wanted to throw that out there 'cause I know not everyone can afford a training, I know not everyone can go get a reading, I know maybe a book isn't enough.So focus on experience, focus on just your day-to-day.What are you talking to?Who are you greeting?And how are you creating relationship with that?I hope that's- Mm-hmm.that makes sense.Does that make sense?No, that makes total sense.And I think it's a beautiful way to end because anything that you put your attention towards grows, right?Yeah.So whether it's good, whether it's bad.Mm-hmm.And I think that's just a good reminder for everyone that we can continue to grow the relationship with ourselves when we stop long enough to actually listen.Mm-hmm.And maybe get quiet enough to hear what the tree has to say, what the wind has to whisper, what our feet are telling us today.Yeah.So I, I feel like we have to have a part 2.Like I could just talk to you forever and truly, truly thank you for putting me on this path and opening my intuition and helping me help others.Um, a lot of what Anna taught me is passed in the first week of Akashic Awakening, my 4week group program that starts here February 16th.We will start at the root, go all the way to the heart, really experiencing the sensations in the body, um, and getting into right relationship with our intuitive senses and with ourselves.So thank you so much, Anna, for being here.Those that are listening, please share, like, rate, review, spread the word so that others can get these free trainings essentially, um, when and where they need them.So thank you guys for being here.Be good to one another.I love you.