WEBVTT
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You can do 400 pieces of content in three hours, but at the end of the day, that is not your best.
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This process of writing a book is it's irreplaceable with any sort of social media.
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But books are the best of a person, a culture, an idea.
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Reading a book is like spending time with another person.
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It is somebody's masterclass.
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We're in a world that moves so fast.
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I was a content machine for a while, and this process of writing a book is just a complete and total boot camp on personal transformation.
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You can absolutely write a book in 45 minutes on AI.
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The quality's gonna match the effort that went in.
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That's just the reality of it.
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What's the most surprising truth about success that nobody talks about?
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Okay, so I have my really amazing friend Sierra Melker with me.
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She's not only a friend, but she's been a client for a long time now.
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So, Sierra, welcome to the show.
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How are you today?
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I'm great, Mark.
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Thanks.
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Awesome.
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Happy to see you.
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Look at that big smile.
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I love it.
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Well, nobody knows who you are on this show, even though you're very popular in the world, as we know.
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But maybe you can just give a quick introduction.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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My name is Sierra Melker.
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I am the founder of Red Thread Publishing.
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We are on a mission to get more voices into the world, the silenced voices, and help people write and publish impactful nonfiction.
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I'm a lot of other things, but that's what I'm gonna go with for now.
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I love it.
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I'm sure we're gonna dive into all those things that you are.
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You know me, I like to dig under the layers and pull it all back.
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You do.
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Yeah, I honestly just want to start with something that was really important to me is, you know, I feel like we're in a bit of a crisis today with masculinity, but I think that masculinity is the foundation of female voices, personally, and we'll talk about that later.
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But you're really big on female voices and impact, and I know that your main imprint is primarily female voices.
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And I was just curious, you know, your opinion on women's voices maybe as a catalyst for global change and why it's such an open for you.
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Yeah, I appreciate that question or that prompt.
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As you mentioned, we started as an all-female imprint.
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We have multiple imprints, meaning we just have different companies with different focuses for those who aren't up on the publishing lingo.
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We started as an all-female publishing company five years ago with the intention of creating a space where women could find their own voices and then share their voices because those voices had been left out of the bigger conversation for a really long time.
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And it's not because I think those voices are more important.
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I just noticed the lack of and wanted to bring a little bit more balance and integration so that women could hear women's voices, so that men could hear women's voices, so that anyone on any spectrum could be opened to a newer part of the conversation.
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Yeah, I love that.
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I want to go right in because you know how I am.
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You know, I think we've seen a quite a shift in the pendulum, and I think women's voices are being more heard now than ever.
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And it's actually shifting to a point where I know we were doing this men's health book together, and we've noticed that the men's voices are starting to silence a bit now too.
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I'm curious your thoughts on that, you know, pushing so far forward with the women and then saying, hey, you know what, maybe some of these people are getting left behind.
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And the reason why I want to bring that up is because there's this mindset or ideology that if we help this group of people, we can't help those people.
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And I think what happens is if we don't have the idea of rising tides raise all boats, that's the proper way to say that.
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I think people get left behind.
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And I think that it hurts everyone if we're not all moving forward together.
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What are your thoughts on that?
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Well, I want to pick apart something that you just said.
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Saying men's voices or women's voices is a really broad statement, right?
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Men's voices on certain topics like mental health or, you know, et cetera, to say men's voices are being silenced is I I'm not on board with that statement as a broad stroke.
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But what men feel like they can talk about openly and comfortably, I think is limited, right?
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And so I've been looking at this, stepping back a little bit, and I'm thrilled that women have taken more of a role in conversations, in writing and publishing, and are finding a space where they can hold their own.
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This is amazing.
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This is what feels like progress.
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It is never meant to come at the cost of someone else.
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That's that's not how it's gonna work.
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But I've always seen it where I've just been watching trends for about 15 years.
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There was a wave where women needed to go off on their own to really to make some discoveries, but that's not, we're not supposed to be moving away from one another.
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But I do think that pulling back a little bit or pulling into one oneself or pulling into one's own group served a function so that we can come back together.
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And I think it's okay for us to move away from like this, but inevitably, we're not gonna thrive out here.
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We're gonna thrive when we come back with more information, with more clarity, confidence, skill, acceptance, and we can come back and work together.
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And so if that's catching people up on some of the conversations you and I have had over the last year, yeah.
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Sure.
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It's definitely not like men's groups and women's groups, not so that we can be apart, but so that we can come together.
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Yeah, I agree with that.
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And I think that um men have fallen behind in that space and they're starting to catch up a little bit.
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And I think part of it was because oh, the boys' club was kind of shut down for a little while.
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Um, and I think that we need the boys' club, we need the women's club, we need those separate spaces to kind of find our own.
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We're just different, right?
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We're unique.
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And I think that in order for us to have that cohesive unit, we have to go off on our own as men, go off on our own as women, and come back together as a team.
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And I think that, you know, we've talked about this so much.
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And I even look at therapy because I work with so many clients that obviously are in relationships, and I'm like, it's so powerful to have your own therapist, each of you, and then to come together and work on things together.
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Because when you really look at it, like none of those models work that have don't have balance.
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And I think that we're, you know, I just Simon Sinek just I reposted something of his yesterday, and it was just the idea that it's not one way or the other much.
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It's like this pendulum swing, right?
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It's like, you know, I love the dichotomy of everything, and those pendulums do swing.
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But you and I are of an age now where we've actually seen multiple patterns and lived through them, and you kind of start to see the writing on the wall and going, yeah, this is this is a much better direction.
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And I think, you know, I'm curious to kind of shift this conversation a little bit back to writing, is is going through these patterns and seeing the shifts and seeing the pendulum swings of writing and publishing.
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Like, what is your thoughts in general as far as books as a whole functioning as this maybe vehicle of society, like as people's voices get expressed, as people be able to come together, as they be able to share?
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Because it's it's starting to feel a bit like a lost art in some ways with so much social media.
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And for me, it's something that I don't know, I think it's got a very special place, not in just in history, but in the future.
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I'm just curious your thoughts on that.
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Yeah, so many different things come up.
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One is it's the things that make us different that are gonna bring us together, not all being the same, right?
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But in order for that to work, we need to be exposed to things that are different than who we are or who we think we are, so that we can grow and evolve.
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And that's how I'm gonna link our two conversations, right?
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Reading a book, and I was reading something this morning, is like spending time with another person.
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You are getting to insert yourself in their perspective, in their experience.
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And it's a person that mostly likely you will never get to sit down with for three to ten hours.
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But a book is, and it's also not just shooting the shit for 10 hours.
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It is ideally and usually a concentration digested.
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It's like the best parts of that person's lived and learned experience over five, 10, 30, 50 years squeezed into a couple of pages or a couple of hours.
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It's not just like eavesdropping at the coffee shop, the conversation, bitching and moaning that's happening next to you.
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It is somebody's masterclass, right?
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How else are we going to get the best?
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How else are we going to be able to, you know, we have a limited time in this life.
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There's only a certain number of hours, certain number of days that you get, and then it's over.
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How do you want to spend that time?
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Who do you want to expose yourself to?
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Who do you want to learn from?
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Do you want to make the most out of it, or do you want to just sort of waste it?
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You bring up an interesting point with social media.
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And I think now we absolutely have to talk about AI as well.
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There's this just sort of, I feel like it's everything that's ever been said dumped into a blender, and then we're like getting a slushy of that.
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And if you're writing a book using that exclusively or largely, then it's yeah, there's stuff in there, but it's not letting I mean, I mean, let's think about letting the cream rise to the top or letting um a good whiskey age.
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Okay.
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It it gets better with time and it gets better with discernment.
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And I I love books because they're our best.
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Good books are the best of a person, a culture, an idea.
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And not only do I love reading books and helping people create books, I love tra the transformation of a person who has this idea, and you're going through it right now.
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You have this lived and learned experience, but it has not yet been extracted from you, where you become and the transformation for you from idea generator, writer to author.
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Because I think these things go hand in hand.
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And we can't just talk about books from the perspective of the reader.
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It's powerful and it's important, but there's also this perspective of how you are gonna change and how you the way you're gonna show up is going to be significantly different as you go through this transformation.
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So it's all of it.
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I love all of it.
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You know, going through the process, just writing that chapter for the men's health book we did and writing this book that I'm writing right now, it's really brought up something in my mind that we're in a world that moves so fast.
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And you are like, here, you can do 400 pieces of content in three hours, you know, or you can, and I mean, you're talking to, I was a content machine for a while, as you know, right?
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And it's really helpful to get out there.
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Like every coach will tell you, and I coach this because I coached online marketing for years, is just get out there and make content.
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Get out there and make content.
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Absolutely, for the practice to refine, to nurture, but at the end of the day, that is not your best.
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The effort it takes to slow down, and let's be honest, it takes probably a good year for a brand new writer to write a book.
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You know, I know it can happen faster, but I really believe like, you know, just in and and maybe sometimes 10 years, right?
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Because it's been in there forever.
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And I think that that slowing down is something that we just AI can't do.
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It's it's it's a different thing.
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And, you know, I look at as society as we are still human beings, no matter what we want to do.
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And you there's certain parts of our DNA that you just can't take away, needs that we need, you know, nurturing that we need, connection that we need, connection to the earth, to each other.
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And this process of writing a book is it's irreplaceable with any sort of social media, any sort of sort of YouTube long form.
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It's and it's a very in-depth internal process.
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And, you know, it's like the old saying, you know, good things come to those who wait, or like anything worth doing is hard and takes time.
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And I think that that was the part for me that was so like it's it's a complete and total boot camp on personal transformation if you write this damn thing.
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So yeah.
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I just wanted to stress that I don't know if you have anything to add to it, but I think that that was really powerful.
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I I agree.
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I think part of what makes books great is is the heart that goes into them.
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That's not to say wait 30 more years because it'll be that much better.
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That's not what I'm going for.
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What I mean though is you can absolutely write a book, air quotes, in 45 minutes on AI.
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And it's gonna match the quality.
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The quality is gonna match the effort that went in.
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That's just the reality of it.
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I talk to people all the time and like and I say, how long have you wanted to write a book?
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And it's very often 10, 5, 20 years.
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And so there's a couple things that I always want to discern is have you been writing the book for 10 years?
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Or have you been learning the lessons that you needed to learn in order to write the book for 10 years?
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Writing a book for 10 years sounds like a terrible idea to me.
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Who was Mark 10 years ago?
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That dude and this dude couldn't sit down at a table and work together, probably on anything, right?
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And so don't write a book over that amount of time.
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You will change so significantly that you will constantly contradict yourself.
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But living those lessons, everything that you've won, lost, learned is gonna go into the book that you're working on now.
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When you write another book 10 years from now, it's gonna be a different book, different perspective, because you will have learned and grown.
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Yeah, no, I I agree completely.
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I was thinking, um, you know, I heard a saying one time and it just it really stuck with me.
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It said, Hard writing makes easy reading.
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And I've always loved that.
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And you think you can just throw it down on paper, but you can't.
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Like it takes time.
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And, you know, there's this kind of uh I think it was Rachel Hollis.
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I think I've told you this story.
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I was at an event, I think it was a Brenda Bichard event, and I think Lewis Howes was there and all these people.
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And everyone's like, You're so awesome.
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Like, how was your first book?
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Like, you're so successful.
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And she's like, It's actually my fifth.
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And the idea of this myth of overnight success in publishing and in entrepreneurship, as you know very well, because you've been an entrepreneur now for over a decade.
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I'm just curious if you could share with the audience, like you've worked with so many authors.
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What's the most surprising truth about success that nobody talks about that you don't get in the highlight rules?
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I'm just curious your thoughts on that.
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Yeah, I've been, I I love that this is where our conversation's going because it's come up very poignantly for me this week.
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This week is an 18th anniversary, a 16th anniversary, an 11th anniversary, a two-year anniversary.
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So many things have happened to me this week, year after year.
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Moving to China, moving to Colombia, finishing my yoga teacher training, discovering that I was pregnant, writing a book, doing my first sort of global speaking tour from Las Vegas to New York City.
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Um in each of those moments, I was looking forward and all the things I hadn't yet done.
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But this week, I'm looking backwards at all the things.
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And it's making me dizzy, honestly.
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It's super surreal to look and be like, look at that cute girl.
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Like she had no idea who she was becoming or what she was capable of, or just like it's it's stunning to me.
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Six years ago.
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Okay.
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Is six years ago a long time ago?
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Yes.
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No.
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It is when you're looking forward.
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It's a long time.
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Six years from now.
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It's like six years ago was just a minute ago.
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But six years ago, I had not opened my publishing company.
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Six years ago, I hadn't published my first book.
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It'd been published once, but I hadn't written my own book yet.
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I was still a baby.
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I drafted a book, but I hadn't published a book.
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And I was just this was like right at that precipice of everything that came after.
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And when I'm working with someone, and if I tell them six years from now, you will be, how does that feel?
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You're like, no, I want it now.
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I want it yesterday, I want it six years ago.
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But what I'm realizing is five years is nothing.
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It's a blink.
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And you and I have talked about this, and I want to share this here is I know I was that person, but no part of me recognizes her at all.
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The person who was audacious enough to believe she could open a publishing company.
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Amazing.
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Love her.
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Super grateful for that ridiculous intention.
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But everything else, it was so small.
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It was so ignorant.
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I mean, I'm I just want to like hug her and like sit her down and give her a couple of tips.
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But I see what's happened because of continuous, I guess, audacious moves between then and now.
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And it's really helpful to look at the next five years with this awareness of how far I've come.
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So it's not gonna be, you know, here's where I was, here's where I am.
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Five years from now is not a continuation of that same curve.
00:17:09.279 --> 00:17:16.160
Five years from now is a continued, like it's unimaginable at this point, but I know it.
00:17:16.319 --> 00:17:27.279
And so if I can condense all of that into just like a nugget that you can sort of suck on, you cannot possibly imagine where you're going and who you're gonna become.
00:17:27.440 --> 00:17:30.240
But all you do, like all I've done is just throw down every day.
00:17:30.400 --> 00:17:37.839
So throw down every day without the the worrying about where it's gonna get you so much.
00:17:38.319 --> 00:17:41.920
Because it's gonna get you there faster and further further than you can imagine now.
00:17:42.079 --> 00:17:42.880
That's it, right?
00:17:43.119 --> 00:17:46.559
You're gonna end up in a place that you can't even imagine today.
00:17:46.720 --> 00:17:48.400
I know I am, I know.
00:17:49.039 --> 00:17:52.799
And I've gotten better at imagining, but it's still gonna be different than that.
00:17:53.119 --> 00:17:59.200
You know, it's I have this saying and it says like basically everything is working out for me better than I could have ever hoped for or imagined.
00:17:59.440 --> 00:18:10.079
And I think that if I could give any wisdom to younger people or anybody actually for that matter, is is just like you said, is that idea of just it's piece by piece, step by step, little tiny details.
00:18:10.160 --> 00:18:12.400
And I think with all of that comes grace.
00:18:12.559 --> 00:18:15.440
Like really learning to give yourself grace to be kind.
00:18:15.599 --> 00:18:19.680
And I'm huge on accountability and structure, and you've got to kick yourself in the ass sometimes.
00:18:20.000 --> 00:18:29.759
But if you don't give yourself grace over those periods of time, that it becomes hard to do those little micro movements that are necessary to get to where you want to go.
00:18:29.920 --> 00:18:33.119
And I find something really unique, we're similar age.
00:18:33.279 --> 00:18:44.480
And I feel like for me, I have 10 times the amount of time at 45 to 55, then from 25 to 35.
00:18:44.640 --> 00:18:45.279
It's crazy.
00:18:45.440 --> 00:18:48.400
And obviously, I have 20 less years, you know, to live.
00:18:48.559 --> 00:18:49.279
Well, it depends.
00:18:49.359 --> 00:18:51.119
We'll see what uh AI comes up with.
00:18:51.359 --> 00:19:03.440
But the point is that it just, it's it's wild how this phase is such a different mindset and how you slow down so much and you realize, like you said, you have you have no idea what the future is gonna bring you, what's possible.
00:19:03.599 --> 00:19:05.759
I mean, look at how much my life has changed in a year.
00:19:05.839 --> 00:19:06.559
You've known me.
00:19:06.720 --> 00:19:09.119
It's it's crazy what I've experienced.
00:19:09.200 --> 00:19:11.200
And I just have no idea what the next year is gonna bring.
00:19:11.279 --> 00:19:12.559
So I agree completely.
00:19:12.799 --> 00:19:17.440
I do have a question for you though, for the audience is you know, this is kind of your expertise, right?
00:19:17.519 --> 00:19:20.880
You've lived all over the world, you've gone through crazy chaotic times.
00:19:21.039 --> 00:19:29.519
In that space, what I've experienced personally when I went through all the hardships with all my losses in the last year was, you know, if you, you know, being a Somalier, right?
00:19:29.599 --> 00:19:34.559
Like you could throw me into a room and I could sell wine all night and sling it and do whatever, no big deal.
00:19:34.720 --> 00:19:44.160
But to create is fucking hard when you're broken, when you're frozen, when life is kind of chaotic in general.
00:19:44.240 --> 00:19:45.680
It doesn't have to be that bad.
00:19:45.759 --> 00:19:47.759
Like, you know, my last year was pretty rough.
00:19:47.920 --> 00:19:50.880
But like creativity in the midst of chaos.
00:19:51.039 --> 00:19:56.559
I'm curious if you have any ideas on that, you know, how to protect your creativity when life feels messy.
00:19:56.720 --> 00:19:58.480
Yeah, I really appreciate this question.
00:19:58.640 --> 00:20:04.480
And I think the answer is the opposite of what we are trained to expect.
00:20:04.799 --> 00:20:08.480
We learn that success comes through hustle and more.
00:20:08.640 --> 00:20:10.160
And some of it does, right?
00:20:10.400 --> 00:20:13.839
You want to go sell another bottle of wine, you have to go sell another bottle of wine.
00:20:14.000 --> 00:20:21.440
But if you want to get inspired to make a new recipe with wine, it's not through hustle.
00:20:21.680 --> 00:20:24.079
The last book I put out addresses this a bit.
00:20:24.480 --> 00:20:28.480
It's typo, the art of imperfect creation, permission to do it badly.
00:20:28.559 --> 00:20:41.839
And the work the book that I'm working on right now is especially about this because one of the things that I learned and brought into the publishing process from the very beginning is this cyclical nature of creation.
00:20:42.079 --> 00:20:45.519
And creation doesn't just come from hustle and grind.
00:20:45.599 --> 00:20:47.119
That is a part of it.
00:20:47.279 --> 00:20:55.119
But if you look at the seasons and you look at the phases of the moon and you look at everything that's ever come about, there's four parts to it.
00:20:55.279 --> 00:21:05.680
And this is where, you know, going back to what you said, writing a book over 10 years, are you writing for 10 years or are you working on different parts of the process for 10 years?
00:21:05.920 --> 00:21:06.240
Right.
00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:09.759
One of the things they say is 80% of writing is not writing.
00:21:09.920 --> 00:21:20.960
And I completely agree with that because there's the dreaming and ideation, there's planning, there's actual put pen to paper, get the shit done, and then there's revision.
00:21:21.039 --> 00:21:27.279
And you must go through all of these phases, ideally a few times, to get to a final product.
00:21:27.519 --> 00:21:34.400
It's true with anything, it's true with cooking, it's true in relationships, it's true in business, it's true with everything.
00:21:34.640 --> 00:21:38.880
Michelin Star chefs don't just like throw together a recipe.
00:21:39.039 --> 00:21:41.359
How many times have they done a thing?
00:21:41.519 --> 00:21:43.119
The 10,000 hour rule.
00:21:43.359 --> 00:21:47.680
We are not going to just create brilliance all at once.
00:21:47.920 --> 00:21:52.480
It comes through rest, introspection, revision, reflection.
00:21:52.640 --> 00:21:56.400
All of these things are really valuable parts of the process.
00:21:56.559 --> 00:21:59.759
And the word writing actually, I think short circuits.
00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:00.480
Our brain.
00:22:00.640 --> 00:22:02.480
We're like, oh, I'm going to sit down and write.
00:22:02.799 --> 00:22:03.200
You're not.
00:22:03.279 --> 00:22:04.960
You're going to sit down and draft.
00:22:05.279 --> 00:22:09.519
Draft acknowledges that it's not going to be great the first time.
00:22:10.400 --> 00:22:14.960
And this is why I wrote this book, is because we go into writing thinking it's going to be good.
00:22:15.119 --> 00:22:18.079
And then we're shocked that it's not good.
00:22:18.240 --> 00:22:23.519
It's not as good as anything you've ever read because everything you've ever read is somebody's final draft.
00:22:23.759 --> 00:22:27.119
You're comparing an early draft to somebody else's final draft.
00:22:27.279 --> 00:22:31.359
You're different people, and your shitty first draft is exactly that.
00:22:31.599 --> 00:22:37.920
But you've got to learn to iterate and rest and reflect and find new inspiration and repeat.
00:22:38.240 --> 00:22:45.039
And that I think what holds so many people back is that they still are putting their story into a line.
00:22:45.279 --> 00:22:50.079
I'm going to decide to write a book and then I'm going to write a book and then I'm going to publish a book and then it's going to be amazing.
00:22:50.160 --> 00:22:51.440
And Oprah's going to call.
00:22:51.599 --> 00:22:58.160
And when any part of that story brings conflict or tension or obstacles, we're like, oh, well, I guess I'm not a writer.
00:22:58.319 --> 00:22:59.440
Oh, I'm not meant to do this.
00:22:59.599 --> 00:23:00.000
Oh, this.
00:23:00.160 --> 00:23:00.720
Oh, that.
00:23:00.880 --> 00:23:01.519
BS.
00:23:01.920 --> 00:23:03.039
Because it's a circle.
00:23:03.200 --> 00:23:04.240
It's a spiral.
00:23:04.480 --> 00:23:05.359
I'm going to draft.
00:23:05.440 --> 00:23:06.160
I'm going to learn.
00:23:06.319 --> 00:23:07.440
I'm going to improve.
00:23:07.599 --> 00:23:08.960
I'll get there eventually.
00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:13.759
And if you come at this process with that understanding, I'm going to take a nap.
00:23:13.920 --> 00:23:15.200
That's me working on my book.
00:23:15.359 --> 00:23:16.720
I'm going to take out a hike.
00:23:16.880 --> 00:23:18.160
That's me working on my book.
00:23:18.319 --> 00:23:19.599
I'm going to ask for help.
00:23:19.759 --> 00:23:20.960
That's me working on my book.
00:23:21.119 --> 00:23:23.519
And then I'm going to actually sit down and write a paragraph.
00:23:23.599 --> 00:23:25.039
And that's me working on my book.
00:23:25.359 --> 00:23:43.200
That single shift in awareness has changed everything about how I write, how I run my business, how I parent, how I coach my authors to write, how I coach my authors to then go get speaking gigs and podcasts and everything that comes after.
00:23:43.359 --> 00:23:49.279
I say this anytime somebody asks, because the first time I published a book, I went to bed disappointed.
00:23:49.519 --> 00:23:56.160
Somewhere along the line, I really thought all I had to do was write a good book, publish it, and Oprah would call me.
00:23:56.319 --> 00:23:57.519
And she didn't.
00:23:57.759 --> 00:23:58.160
Right.
00:23:58.400 --> 00:24:04.000
But I had this warped sense of what was involved and what the results would be.
00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:07.599
But when I look at it from this spiral, I'm like, oh good.
00:24:07.759 --> 00:24:12.480
All I gotta do is show up in this process again and again and again.
00:24:12.640 --> 00:24:15.279
And it's an ever-expanding reality.
00:24:15.599 --> 00:24:18.000
So that's that's what I gotta say about that.
00:24:18.240 --> 00:24:22.000
Yeah, and I'll I'll add Maya piece to that because I agree a thousand percent.
00:24:22.079 --> 00:24:24.880
And I think a big part is that balance that you're talking about.
00:24:24.960 --> 00:24:27.440
That, you know, I love to talk about the masculine and feminine.
00:24:27.519 --> 00:24:39.119
And I think one thing is if we're talking about just creativity as a whole, just like let's just singular single that out, it just doesn't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever happen in the grind, at least for me.
00:24:39.200 --> 00:24:39.359
Right?
00:24:39.440 --> 00:24:51.920
It happens when I'm walking on a beach, it happens when I'm completely distracted on an airplane or when I'm and it's just it's in those moments of what I consider dropping into the feminine and being connected and getting the download.
00:24:52.079 --> 00:24:53.279
I think that's so important.
00:24:53.359 --> 00:24:58.559
And then I think, you know, speaking of the spiral, this isn't a straight shot they talk about, you know, it's like it's like this, right?
00:24:58.720 --> 00:25:01.440
So how do we maintain that for long periods of time?
00:25:01.519 --> 00:25:02.960
And the answer is balance.
00:25:03.119 --> 00:25:07.920
The answer is allowing yourself to rest and drop into the feminine and find space.
00:25:08.160 --> 00:25:11.039
And I think that space is so overrated.
00:25:11.119 --> 00:25:16.240
And one thing, you know, I love and hate about Medellin is it's much slower than the United States.
00:25:16.400 --> 00:25:23.200
And it's really taught me to slow down and to value joy and to be at peace just in day-to-day life for absolutely no reason.
00:25:23.359 --> 00:25:27.680
You know, it's almost like you have to earn your peace and your joy and your happiness in the States, as you know.
00:25:27.839 --> 00:25:30.160
And me and you are still very much built that way.
00:25:30.240 --> 00:25:32.400
And I don't dislike the way I'm built.
00:25:32.480 --> 00:25:33.759
I actually really do like it.
00:25:33.839 --> 00:25:41.279
I'd rather learn to slow down because it's really hard to teach, you know, it's like it's it's you know they say you can uh you can boil a spaghetti soft but you can't make it hard.
00:25:41.519 --> 00:25:45.119
So I'd rather be the hard spaghetti, boil me down a little bit.
00:25:45.279 --> 00:25:53.839
And it's just funny because another piece that I want to share with everyone is, and I love this saying, and it's everybody wants to be the hero, but nobody wants to go through the hero's journey.
00:25:54.000 --> 00:25:56.880
And I can tell you this right now: great books, great stories.
00:25:56.960 --> 00:26:02.319
Like, you know how many crazy stories I have, and all the things I've been through, a lot of them were extremely painful.
00:26:02.559 --> 00:26:08.720
I mean, like the depth of darkness that I went through was beyond challenging, and that makes great stories.
00:26:08.880 --> 00:26:13.519
That makes people be like, wow, you know, when you read David Goggins, you love him so much.
00:26:13.680 --> 00:26:19.680
If you love him, maybe you hate him, but you you at least respect him because you're like, holy shit, that guy went through that.
00:26:19.839 --> 00:26:27.920
Like, it's the human spirit that we admire, and the human spirit, it's it's adversity that really puts us on that pinnacle.
00:26:28.000 --> 00:26:35.759
And I think that that's so important to understand that piece and understand that your creativity sometimes is your chaos, and that's what's going to bring it all out.
00:26:35.920 --> 00:26:39.039
And understanding that that masculine-feminine balance is huge.
00:26:39.200 --> 00:26:42.480
So I really appreciate you touching on that because I feel like you're the expert in that space.
00:26:42.640 --> 00:26:50.640
And speaking of you being the expert in this space, you know, I've watched the marketing boom just shift dramatically.
00:26:50.799 --> 00:26:58.319
And everybody is an influencer now, and everybody's a coach now, and everybody's at least speaking some positive affirmations online.
00:26:58.559 --> 00:27:02.400
And so, with that being said, the whole business of everything has changed.
00:27:02.559 --> 00:27:05.680
And so you can't just be this, you kind of got you can't just be a realtor anymore.
00:27:05.759 --> 00:27:07.279
You gotta be an influencer, right?
00:27:07.519 --> 00:27:15.279
But books are very, very, very powerful, and they used to just primarily be a product, but now they're becoming a business.
00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:21.519
And people are using the books as credibility, criteria, clout to build a business.
00:27:21.599 --> 00:27:28.880
So maybe you could speak on the idea for anybody who's even considering writing a book, how it's really much more than a product.
00:27:28.960 --> 00:27:30.160
A book is actually a business.
00:27:30.480 --> 00:27:31.119
So much more.
00:27:31.279 --> 00:27:31.599
Yeah.
00:27:31.759 --> 00:27:35.039
And that it requires a shift in thinking, okay?
00:27:35.440 --> 00:27:41.359
Because a book is a thing, it's a physical commodity, and you can buy it.
00:27:42.079 --> 00:27:46.720
But that's not, and I can make$2.28 from a book.
00:27:46.960 --> 00:27:47.359
Free.
00:27:47.759 --> 00:28:00.400
But that's not the function of a book, it's not a product to sell because it is the coalescing of ideas, and it does one thing for the reader.
00:28:00.559 --> 00:28:04.160
It gives them something to it's a tool for them to learn and grow.
00:28:06.079 --> 00:28:15.920
Red Thread's called Red Thread because a book is actually this connection that exists between the author and the reader.
00:28:16.160 --> 00:28:25.039
Every single person, when I read a book and I I love Audible, so I'm always listening to authors narrate their own stories.
00:28:25.119 --> 00:28:30.880
Um, I'm not just consuming a product or you filling two hours of my day.
00:28:31.119 --> 00:28:34.559
I'm in an intimate connection with that person.
00:28:34.799 --> 00:28:39.839
And what that does for me as the consumer is it elevates me.
00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:46.480
What it does for the author is it elevates them and it brings us closer.
00:28:46.640 --> 00:28:54.079
Am I more likely to attend a conference with this person, buy a product from this person, hire this person as my coach?
00:28:54.400 --> 00:29:08.160
Anything that they offer, I am more likely to participate in unless they're a total wanker and I learned that I hate them from their book, then, but I'm moved closer to this person in every way possible.
00:29:08.319 --> 00:29:15.119
In a world where everybody's an influencer and everybody's an expert in whatever they do, supposedly.
00:29:15.839 --> 00:29:27.279
And I have the choice to between two people, I'm going to choose the person that has a book because it's still a rarefied form of expertise.
00:29:27.599 --> 00:29:36.799
I subconsciously value that person's perspective more than the person who didn't go through that the struggle to get a book into the world.
00:29:36.960 --> 00:29:44.400
I don't care if you have a million hours on YouTube, 10,000 followers on, I mean 10 million followers on Instagram.
00:29:44.480 --> 00:29:44.960
I don't care.
00:29:45.119 --> 00:29:52.160
If you didn't take the time to coalesce your ideas for me into book form, I'm gonna go with the person who has a book.
00:29:52.319 --> 00:30:02.240
Either I'm gonna buy the book and have that validate my belief in them, or I'm just gonna leapfrog over the book and trust that person because they wrote the damn book.
00:30:02.400 --> 00:30:03.519
Books are old school.
00:30:03.680 --> 00:30:06.319
They are old school technology, right?
00:30:06.480 --> 00:30:11.759
There was a moment in history when it was the the cat's meow or like the printing press and it changed everything.
00:30:11.920 --> 00:30:14.000
It's still changing everything.
00:30:14.160 --> 00:30:21.440
And of all the mediums I could support people in sharing their ideas, books to me are still the coolest thing.
00:30:21.680 --> 00:30:26.240
Yes, you should probably have YouTube, and yes, you should be on podcasts, and you should do all the other things as well.
00:30:26.400 --> 00:30:27.440
But nothing beats a book.
00:30:27.599 --> 00:30:28.079
It doesn't.
00:30:28.480 --> 00:30:34.559
Yeah, I don't it makes a phenomenal addition to a digital funnel.
00:30:34.799 --> 00:30:41.440
I mean, I even studied a program, I think I spent$30,000 on that mastermind, and it was um and and really it was a book funnel.
00:30:41.599 --> 00:30:45.200
That was kind of the the the majority of what they taught, and then it led to a Facebook group.
00:30:45.359 --> 00:30:52.079
But one thing too is, you know, it's I think the quality of the book will be the determining factor, and the people that read it, they will be changed.
00:30:52.160 --> 00:30:53.759
And yeah, I think anybody could put out a book right now.
00:30:53.839 --> 00:30:55.680
There are people putting out 10 books a day or something like that.
00:30:55.759 --> 00:30:57.680
I saw, and I'm just like, okay, exactly.
00:30:57.839 --> 00:31:08.400
And there's no depth there, but I think if you really put your heart and soul into something, now I remember one time an expert copywriter told me he's like, Mark, when somebody really cares, like they because everyone's just gonna blow by your stuff.
00:31:08.480 --> 00:31:08.799
They don't care.
00:31:08.880 --> 00:31:15.039
It's the 0.01% that really cares, they're gonna actually read everything, listen to everything.
00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:18.400
And I think that that book just allows that deep, intimate touch.
00:31:18.480 --> 00:31:25.759
And something else, just from a funnel perspective that I loved, and I don't know why I didn't think of it, was when you were like, Yeah, you guys can put your QR codes in the chapters.
00:31:25.920 --> 00:31:27.039
And like, how awesome is that?
00:31:27.119 --> 00:31:30.799
You just have a QR code, you just snap shot, and now it's like they have access to everything.
00:31:30.960 --> 00:31:36.079
And then anytime anyone's ordering your book or doing anything, you're you're collecting an email, right?
00:31:36.319 --> 00:31:40.880
So you once you have that email and you have them in your ecosystem, that funnels all flow from there.
00:31:40.960 --> 00:31:41.440
Like that's it.
00:31:41.519 --> 00:31:42.480
Like that's the main goal.
00:31:42.640 --> 00:31:45.519
And so it's a really nice paid lead magnet, right?
00:31:45.759 --> 00:31:48.160
The very worst, you pay what it costs you, right?
00:31:48.240 --> 00:31:52.880
You ask them to pay what it costs you to ship and to print, or however that works, you would know better than me.
00:31:53.119 --> 00:31:57.279
But yeah, I mean it's it's like a paid lead magnet, and yeah, the credibility is awesome.
00:31:57.359 --> 00:32:09.279
So yeah, I appreciate you breaking that down a little bit because I do think that it is an underrated piece that's kind of coming back around, uh, because everyone's just really gone hardcore towards digital and social media.
00:32:09.359 --> 00:32:17.599
And, you know, I think I'm gonna actually add to my Instagram, one of the just the profile headers is you know, I've told you this, I'm doubling down on human connection in the world of AI.
00:32:17.839 --> 00:32:21.839
And I think that it goes back to what we spoke about earlier, is we're just human beings.
00:32:22.000 --> 00:32:33.599
I don't care how much AI you come up with, I don't care if you put our brains in another body, like you still have this, unless we can actually change the way our brains work, and we're no longer quote unquote human as we know it, you need these things.
00:32:33.759 --> 00:32:34.880
You need this connection.
00:32:34.960 --> 00:32:44.319
And I feel like there's a huge correlation with books, thought, depth, and connection, as there isn't just being around other humans, cuddling tribes, all of those things.
00:32:44.480 --> 00:32:58.720
So it's uh I definitely want to keep going old school in a world that's moving super fast in another direction because I think that if we don't do that and we don't slow down, I think we're gonna find ourselves in a world that's a little bit more challenging than it's been, maybe a little bit darker.
00:32:58.880 --> 00:33:00.559
We see all the horizons.
00:33:01.599 --> 00:33:01.920
Yeah.
00:33:02.079 --> 00:33:03.519
I think that that's a great term.
00:33:03.599 --> 00:33:13.599
And I don't want to get all dark on this uh podcast today, but like just the idea of the depression, the anxiety, the suicide, the all the things, the loss of purpose, life being so easy.
00:33:13.759 --> 00:33:14.720
Books are hard.
00:33:14.880 --> 00:33:17.359
Doing hard things makes you feel good about yourself.
00:33:17.440 --> 00:33:23.680
And I think that going the old school route, you know, and you see a lot of that shift with, you know, it went from like even look at the food industry.
00:33:23.759 --> 00:33:28.000
It went from McDonald's to like, hey, let's do farm to table and let's slow down and let's take our time.
00:33:28.079 --> 00:33:29.920
Let's grow our own crops without pesticides.
00:33:30.079 --> 00:33:37.759
I think people are there is a movement that is probably being overshadowed by the speed of AI and all that, but there is a movement to go back to our roots a bit.
00:33:37.839 --> 00:33:41.200
And I mean, as you said, I mean, how how old could books possibly be?
00:33:41.359 --> 00:33:45.039
You know, I mean, tablets are, you know, cuneiform tablets are 5,000 years old.
00:33:45.119 --> 00:33:48.319
So it's we've been doing this for a while, putting our thoughts down on something.
00:33:48.640 --> 00:33:55.599
Well, and with that last piece, again, I'm always looking at books from reader, creator.
00:33:55.920 --> 00:33:57.200
You can't separate them.
00:33:57.359 --> 00:34:02.240
We create books for the reader, but the transformation of a book impacts both.
00:34:02.400 --> 00:34:07.440
And one of the things that I still see so many people struggling with is imposter syndrome.
00:34:07.680 --> 00:34:25.519
No matter how impactful you are in all of these other channels, when you hold your book, when you read your own words in print, you see your name on paper, there is something that happens and it changes your identity forever.
00:34:25.840 --> 00:34:27.599
You are an author.
00:34:27.760 --> 00:34:31.679
You can be an influencer and it's still this temporary thing.
00:34:31.840 --> 00:34:35.760
It's fleeting, but author becomes part of your identity.
00:34:36.000 --> 00:34:39.440
You publish one book, you are an author forever.
00:34:39.679 --> 00:34:41.840
And it's it's a slow transformation.
00:34:42.000 --> 00:34:45.760
I did not wake up the next morning, wow, I'm an author.
00:34:45.920 --> 00:34:50.159
It took me a year for that identity to really seep in.
00:34:50.639 --> 00:34:54.400
But now I'm a multiple award-winning author.
00:34:54.639 --> 00:34:55.599
I own that.
00:34:55.760 --> 00:34:59.920
It is how I wake up in the morning, and that is how I move forward.
00:35:00.159 --> 00:35:03.280
And I've watched this happen for hundreds of people.
00:35:03.599 --> 00:35:09.280
And it changes how they show up in the world, and then it changes what they create from there.
00:35:09.519 --> 00:35:14.079
So that's that's another piece to just bring to this story.
00:35:14.239 --> 00:35:15.920
I can't be bothered.
00:35:16.159 --> 00:35:22.000
It just goes back to that like like earned clout, you know, like that earned respect.
00:35:22.239 --> 00:35:30.079
Remember when I got my black belt, it was just like a, it was a it was surreal, but it was like nobody can ever take this away from me.
00:35:30.239 --> 00:35:32.880
No matter what I spent, and I spent 10 years earning that.
00:35:33.039 --> 00:35:39.760
And it was um, and I'm sure I'll feel the same way when I become, I mean, I guess I am an author when I have my own book, you know.
00:35:40.079 --> 00:35:42.000
So it's yeah, I love it.
00:35:42.079 --> 00:35:49.840
I I guess I wanted to kind of finish up with the subject that's is a little bit, you know, not unique to you and I, but we've done a lot of work together over the last year.
00:35:49.920 --> 00:35:58.239
And I've watched you overcome so many living beliefs and fears and grow substantially from a fiscal perspective and from a team perspective.
00:35:58.400 --> 00:36:00.159
And it's just really beautiful to see.
00:36:00.239 --> 00:36:01.679
I'm very proud of you, of course.
00:36:01.920 --> 00:36:18.639
But I also want to know, I want to just know if you could speak on a little bit about building a mission-driven company that feeds your soul, because I think that's what Red Thread is, and being able to not only stay aligned with your core values, you know, because I'm I'm I'm creating something called the core reinvention method.
00:36:18.719 --> 00:36:20.239
And it's a lot of the work we've already done.
00:36:20.320 --> 00:36:21.920
I just didn't name it yet.
00:36:22.239 --> 00:36:30.239
Um, and just how all that kind of comes together because being an entrepreneur, being an author, you said it yourself, like all the fear comes in.
00:36:30.320 --> 00:36:30.800
Who am I?
00:36:30.880 --> 00:36:33.039
Who's gonna listen to me running a team?
00:36:33.199 --> 00:36:34.960
I'm the person everyone's looking to now.
00:36:35.119 --> 00:36:43.679
Now, and then you know, the similar, the, the, the challenges we've been facing, which I faced as an entrepreneur, which is like delegating and allowing and trusting, right?
00:36:43.840 --> 00:36:48.559
And you have this mission-driven company that feeds your soul, but you still have to show up as this pinnacle and this leader.
00:36:48.639 --> 00:36:53.920
And and like you said, six years ago, you're just like, oh, that cute little girl that was just trying to figure shit out.
00:36:54.079 --> 00:37:04.639
I'm curious if you can just speak on any of that because I think it's so powerful for our audience to hear whether they are an entrepreneur building a business, whether they are a woman trying to share their voice, or whether they're attempting to be an author.
00:37:04.880 --> 00:37:09.440
Yeah, I the thing that comes to mind is a conversation I just had with my daughter.
00:37:09.599 --> 00:37:10.400
She's 10.
00:37:10.639 --> 00:37:15.679
And she has this perception of what it means to be an adult.
00:37:15.840 --> 00:37:22.800
And it's all of the easy stuff that she wants and doesn't feel like she has now, and none of the hard stuff.
00:37:25.440 --> 00:37:27.360
Sounds about right for 10.
00:37:27.679 --> 00:37:28.960
All the way to 20, maybe.
00:37:29.199 --> 00:37:33.039
But it also sounds right for all the people who want the thing.
00:37:33.280 --> 00:37:55.440
They want to run the business, they want to be the author, they want to do this, but they don't want to put in the hours and they don't want to have the hard conversations, and they don't want to pay taxes, and they don't want to fire and hire people, and they don't want to make SOPs, and they don't want to do the stuff that's sort of behind the scenes, but fundamental to the actual thing.
00:37:55.760 --> 00:37:56.639
Little context.
00:37:56.800 --> 00:37:58.719
My daughter moved out yesterday.
00:37:58.880 --> 00:38:03.519
She put a note on her door and she said, This is apartment 200.
00:38:03.679 --> 00:38:04.719
This is the owner.
00:38:04.880 --> 00:38:06.880
Leave a note on the door if you want to talk to me.
00:38:07.039 --> 00:38:07.360
Okay.
00:38:07.679 --> 00:38:08.239
Amazing.
00:38:08.559 --> 00:38:10.159
I loved this.
00:38:10.400 --> 00:38:11.760
I told Mark this yesterday.
00:38:11.920 --> 00:38:14.239
I was like, oh my God, this is the best thing ever.
00:38:14.480 --> 00:38:20.639
She's gonna have to cook her own meals, she's gonna have to wake herself up, she's gonna have to do all the hard stuff.
00:38:20.880 --> 00:38:23.039
I was really hoping it would last at least a week.
00:38:23.199 --> 00:38:24.320
It lasted three hours.
00:38:24.639 --> 00:38:24.880
Okay.
00:38:25.119 --> 00:38:27.920
She had completely not even two and a half, maybe.
00:38:29.199 --> 00:38:37.599
And so when we think about call calling it mission-driven is really important because then you have to give a damn.
00:38:38.800 --> 00:38:48.719
And you have to keep giving a damn enough to do the hard stuff, enough to learn the skills that you probably didn't come in with.
00:38:49.039 --> 00:38:52.800
I absolutely did not come in with these skills.
00:38:52.960 --> 00:38:57.119
I didn't even come in with the awareness of the skills that I didn't have.
00:38:57.840 --> 00:38:58.159
Okay.
00:38:58.480 --> 00:39:00.480
And you've heard this said before.
00:39:00.639 --> 00:39:02.719
What got you here won't get you there.
00:39:02.960 --> 00:39:21.599
What's gonna get you there isn't gonna get you further, and be wildly uncomfortable and to not know the next thing, but be willing to go figure it out, be willing to read the books, call in the people who do know, ask for help.
00:39:21.840 --> 00:39:23.280
Mark's gonna smile to himself.
00:39:23.360 --> 00:39:25.599
He knows this is one of my sticking points.
00:39:25.840 --> 00:39:31.599
But if you don't know it, you need to find someone who does and or learn it yourself.
00:39:31.760 --> 00:39:33.119
This is awful.
00:39:33.360 --> 00:39:34.400
It's terrible.
00:39:34.639 --> 00:39:38.559
But if you aren't willing to become someone else, then guess what?
00:39:38.719 --> 00:39:41.599
You're just gonna stay exactly who you are.
00:39:42.719 --> 00:39:46.480
Uh and again, it doesn't have to happen overnight.
00:39:46.719 --> 00:39:54.239
Overnight success usually takes about a decade, but it doesn't take a decade of you doing exactly the same shit that you used to do.
00:39:54.400 --> 00:40:04.079
It's a decade of you striving and learning and struggling and growing and pushing yourself further than you imagined even possible.
00:40:04.239 --> 00:40:08.400
And that's exactly what it's gonna take for my 10-year-old daughter to become the adult.
00:40:08.559 --> 00:40:09.199
That's it.
00:40:09.360 --> 00:40:13.440
That doesn't mean it can't happen in five years because it can.
00:40:13.920 --> 00:40:19.280
It can happen in three, but it sure as shit isn't gonna happen if you don't show up today.
00:40:19.440 --> 00:40:23.280
Today's the only day that you have that's gonna get you anywhere.
00:40:23.519 --> 00:40:25.360
It's the only day you'll ever have.
00:40:25.599 --> 00:40:33.519
And so thinking about your whole life and the long-term growth that you're trying to create, but what you're willing to do about it today.
00:40:33.920 --> 00:40:35.679
Can't do anything about it a month from now.
00:40:35.840 --> 00:40:37.360
I'm only ever gonna have today.
00:40:37.599 --> 00:40:40.559
Yeah, I think I tell people, I mean, like, this is what you signed up for.
00:40:40.800 --> 00:40:43.039
And everybody wants the easy part of it.
00:40:43.119 --> 00:40:55.599
And I look at like, you know, I've had some relationship um situations over my life, and it's like the biggest caveat between a healthy relationship and unhealthy relationship is whether or not the person's willing to commit and work with you.
00:40:55.760 --> 00:41:01.920
The biggest caveat between getting your book done and not getting it, but is you whether you're willing to sit down and do the hard work that's uncomfortable.
00:41:02.000 --> 00:41:04.639
And I don't think it's all push hard hustle, like we said.
00:41:04.719 --> 00:41:05.840
You know, it's it's that feminine.
00:41:05.920 --> 00:41:07.840
You got to drop in and enjoy the process.
00:41:08.000 --> 00:41:14.480
But the real challenge that I see with people is I just think overall the average person just gives up easily.
00:41:14.639 --> 00:41:22.400
And, you know, I don't love quoting people all the time, but I mean, Alex Ramosi has a really great quote, and he says, you know, this is what heart feels like.
00:41:22.559 --> 00:41:26.480
And it's a great quote because this is what you signed up for, is what I'd rather say.
00:41:26.559 --> 00:41:30.159
Like, this is what heart feels like, kind of feels I don't love it, but I get it.
00:41:30.239 --> 00:41:34.559
And I I like to use it because it makes it's a little more in depth than what I say, but this is what you signed up for.
00:41:34.719 --> 00:41:38.960
Like, this is it day-to-day, in and out, relationship, book, business.
00:41:39.119 --> 00:41:40.800
Like, this is what we're here for.
00:41:40.960 --> 00:41:42.400
And we all go through our moments.
00:41:42.480 --> 00:41:43.599
Like, you don't have to be perfect.
00:41:43.679 --> 00:41:45.519
I'm a prime example, and I'll be very vulnerable.
00:41:45.599 --> 00:41:49.760
I mean, I was broken and frozen for about a year, and that was just what my body needed.
00:41:49.840 --> 00:41:52.559
I almost looked like, hey, you know, like I suffered a gunshot wound on my leg.
00:41:52.639 --> 00:41:53.920
Like, that took a long time to heal.
00:41:54.000 --> 00:41:56.079
And I think about that wound and how big it was.
00:41:56.159 --> 00:41:59.119
I had like a plug in there, like an old school bathtub with a chain.
00:41:59.199 --> 00:42:02.159
They had to pull out the plug to get to it's this is a true story.
00:42:02.320 --> 00:42:07.280
And when I think about that, like that took a long time, about a year, to really be a hundred percent.
00:42:07.360 --> 00:42:14.960
And so when you look at like life, when life knocks you down and kicks you in the ass sometimes, sometimes those he those wounds take really a long time to heal.
00:42:15.440 --> 00:42:22.320
I also want to give people grace because I just don't want everyone getting from this show that it's just, oh, I just gotta hustle, I just gotta grow, and I just gotta figure it out.
00:42:22.400 --> 00:42:23.360
It's always gonna be hard.
00:42:23.599 --> 00:42:24.719
Life is fucking hard.
00:42:24.800 --> 00:42:29.039
And sometimes you just gotta survive and just get through the days and do the things.
00:42:29.119 --> 00:42:32.239
And so I think that's important to for the audience to know as well, you know?
00:42:32.480 --> 00:42:40.719
Well, and but to weave this back together and to put it back into this context of creation, how much did you learn in that year?
00:42:40.960 --> 00:42:43.519
You had to slow down to heal.
00:42:43.760 --> 00:42:50.639
But the learning, the book that you're writing now is different than the book you would have written a year ago without any of that.
00:42:50.880 --> 00:42:52.159
A thousand percent.
00:42:52.320 --> 00:42:56.079
Because I've known you every day of this whole journey in this year.
00:42:56.239 --> 00:42:57.679
It's not hustle.
00:42:57.840 --> 00:43:02.320
We're not advocating hustle, but there will be hard times.
00:43:02.639 --> 00:43:11.679
And I I mean, we you and I have done a another conversation about the masculine and feminine in creation because they we need both.
00:43:11.920 --> 00:43:34.400
When when you speak about creation, I I call that inspiration because you need the inspiration to start, and that's the feminine, but you need the masculine to throw down the intellectual, the logistical, the planning, the revision, the analytical, the the dreaming and the drafting are the feminine parts.
00:43:34.480 --> 00:43:37.280
And then the planning and the revision are the masculine.
00:43:37.519 --> 00:43:39.119
That is that balance.
00:43:39.440 --> 00:43:45.039
We need both in order to not just have inspiration and let it stay an idea.
00:43:45.280 --> 00:43:51.519
In order to take an idea and move it into something tangible, we need the masculine as well.
00:43:51.599 --> 00:43:58.159
And so one of the things I love about creation is the necessity of both masculine and feminine attributes.
00:43:58.320 --> 00:43:58.800
I love it.
00:43:59.039 --> 00:44:02.239
You just made me think of inspiration plus execution equals creation.
00:44:02.400 --> 00:44:08.639
You know, and I you said the the drafting and the dreaming, and and then, you know, it's just you can't make a baby all by yourself.
00:44:08.880 --> 00:44:09.440
You can't.
00:44:09.599 --> 00:44:10.239
I can't.
00:44:10.400 --> 00:44:14.559
So, like, how can you make a business or a book or an anything?
00:44:14.880 --> 00:44:20.639
You know, I I want to just finish with this because it's such a beautiful thing is things are gonna be hard.
00:44:20.800 --> 00:44:26.000
Those hard things will shape you far more than anything that was easy in your life.
00:44:26.239 --> 00:44:30.719
You know me for a year now, and I am X the character and integrity of person I was a year ago.
00:44:30.800 --> 00:44:31.199
It's crazy.
00:44:31.280 --> 00:44:33.039
And I didn't even think I could do so much.
00:44:33.199 --> 00:44:35.519
I really thought I had it figured out a year ago.
00:44:35.760 --> 00:44:42.960
And but to to really just put all this together is you 1,000% cannot do any of this by yourself.
00:44:43.119 --> 00:44:44.400
Like you just can't do it.
00:44:44.639 --> 00:44:50.559
I've had you as a support and multiple friends home here in Medellin, back home in Vegas.
00:44:50.719 --> 00:44:57.039
And it's just, I just want to to end this note is because we have such a beautiful relationship, you and I, from both a working perspective.
00:44:57.119 --> 00:44:59.440
I'm your client, you're my client, and we're friends.
00:44:59.599 --> 00:45:01.920
And all we're doing every day is just helping each other.
00:45:02.000 --> 00:45:06.239
And so, you know, everyone kind of gets out there on the guru and like, oh, invest in yourself.
00:45:06.320 --> 00:45:16.159
And yeah, and I get why they do it if you want to buy your product and your program, but I just want to take it from a little bit more of a holistic kind of spiritual side is you really need your tribe, man.
00:45:16.239 --> 00:45:20.400
You need your people that are gonna show up for you daily, just even have a conversation.
00:45:20.480 --> 00:45:27.599
I got a buddy of mine that lives in Vietnam named Dane, and and I just talking to him sometimes, I'm just like, I get off the phone, I'm like, all right, let's go, you know?
00:45:27.840 --> 00:45:29.599
And it's you just need that support.
00:45:29.679 --> 00:45:33.039
So I appreciate you saying that in the end here because that's super powerful.
00:45:33.199 --> 00:45:34.639
I mean, it is it's everything.
00:45:34.880 --> 00:45:37.039
We really are designed to work as a unit, you know.
00:45:37.280 --> 00:45:38.079
Well, thank you very much.
00:45:38.159 --> 00:45:39.039
So I have a question.
00:45:39.199 --> 00:45:40.480
What is next for you?
00:45:41.199 --> 00:45:42.880
And where can people find you?
00:45:43.519 --> 00:45:50.159
I can very much feel that I'm right on the edge of that next iteration.
00:45:50.880 --> 00:45:53.039
I can always feel it before it happens.
00:45:53.199 --> 00:45:59.760
I don't know what it will be, but I know it's coming and I know it's bigger than I've ever imagined it.
00:46:00.079 --> 00:46:02.000
This next bite will be.
00:46:02.159 --> 00:46:03.840
It's it's really exciting.
00:46:04.000 --> 00:46:12.559
I always have ideas about how to help people write and publish and make impact with their books more fun, easy, etc.
00:46:12.960 --> 00:46:14.400
So lots of that's coming.
00:46:14.639 --> 00:46:21.119
We are always found at redthreadbooks.com and redthreadbooks on Instagram.
00:46:21.280 --> 00:46:23.760
Those are the places we are most likely found.
00:46:24.079 --> 00:46:24.559
Awesome.
00:46:24.719 --> 00:46:26.400
I really appreciate you for sharing.
00:46:26.559 --> 00:46:28.480
I think it's awesome that we can get vulnerable.
00:46:28.639 --> 00:46:32.800
This whole show is really about conscious leadership, integrity, character.
00:46:32.960 --> 00:46:37.440
It's what Evolved Entrepreneur is all about as a whole, and you embody that so well.
00:46:37.519 --> 00:46:38.719
So I appreciate you sharing.
00:46:38.800 --> 00:46:39.840
And yeah, thank you.
00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:05.120
You can do 400 pieces of content in three hours, but at the end of the day, that is not your best.
00:00:05.519 --> 00:00:10.240
This process of writing a book is it's irreplaceable with any sort of social media.
00:00:10.640 --> 00:00:14.880
But books are the best of a person, a culture, an idea.
00:00:15.119 --> 00:00:18.480
Reading a book is like spending time with another person.
00:00:18.719 --> 00:00:20.879
It is somebody's masterclass.
00:00:21.120 --> 00:00:22.960
We're in a world that moves so fast.
00:00:23.120 --> 00:00:30.640
I was a content machine for a while, and this process of writing a book is just a complete and total boot camp on personal transformation.
00:00:30.960 --> 00:00:34.479
You can absolutely write a book in 45 minutes on AI.
00:00:34.640 --> 00:00:37.039
The quality's gonna match the effort that went in.
00:00:37.280 --> 00:00:39.600
That's just the reality of it.
00:00:39.840 --> 00:00:45.039
What's the most surprising truth about success that nobody talks about?
00:00:45.600 --> 00:00:48.640
Okay, so I have my really amazing friend Sierra Melker with me.
00:00:48.719 --> 00:00:51.119
She's not only a friend, but she's been a client for a long time now.
00:00:51.200 --> 00:00:52.560
So, Sierra, welcome to the show.
00:00:52.719 --> 00:00:53.280
How are you today?
00:00:53.520 --> 00:00:54.240
I'm great, Mark.
00:00:54.320 --> 00:00:54.560
Thanks.
00:00:54.799 --> 00:00:55.119
Awesome.
00:00:55.280 --> 00:00:55.920
Happy to see you.
00:00:56.000 --> 00:00:56.799
Look at that big smile.
00:00:56.960 --> 00:00:57.359
I love it.
00:00:57.520 --> 00:01:01.840
Well, nobody knows who you are on this show, even though you're very popular in the world, as we know.
00:01:01.920 --> 00:01:03.520
But maybe you can just give a quick introduction.
00:01:03.759 --> 00:01:04.400
Yeah, absolutely.
00:01:04.560 --> 00:01:06.079
My name is Sierra Melker.
00:01:06.640 --> 00:01:09.519
I am the founder of Red Thread Publishing.
00:01:09.760 --> 00:01:19.120
We are on a mission to get more voices into the world, the silenced voices, and help people write and publish impactful nonfiction.
00:01:19.280 --> 00:01:21.599
I'm a lot of other things, but that's what I'm gonna go with for now.
00:01:21.840 --> 00:01:22.159
I love it.
00:01:22.239 --> 00:01:24.480
I'm sure we're gonna dive into all those things that you are.
00:01:24.719 --> 00:01:27.200
You know me, I like to dig under the layers and pull it all back.
00:01:27.519 --> 00:01:28.159
You do.
00:01:29.439 --> 00:01:44.400
Yeah, I honestly just want to start with something that was really important to me is, you know, I feel like we're in a bit of a crisis today with masculinity, but I think that masculinity is the foundation of female voices, personally, and we'll talk about that later.
00:01:44.560 --> 00:01:49.760
But you're really big on female voices and impact, and I know that your main imprint is primarily female voices.
00:01:49.920 --> 00:01:57.840
And I was just curious, you know, your opinion on women's voices maybe as a catalyst for global change and why it's such an open for you.
00:01:58.159 --> 00:02:01.040
Yeah, I appreciate that question or that prompt.
00:02:01.200 --> 00:02:04.480
As you mentioned, we started as an all-female imprint.
00:02:04.719 --> 00:02:12.000
We have multiple imprints, meaning we just have different companies with different focuses for those who aren't up on the publishing lingo.
00:02:12.159 --> 00:02:28.719
We started as an all-female publishing company five years ago with the intention of creating a space where women could find their own voices and then share their voices because those voices had been left out of the bigger conversation for a really long time.
00:02:28.879 --> 00:02:32.080
And it's not because I think those voices are more important.
00:02:32.240 --> 00:02:48.159
I just noticed the lack of and wanted to bring a little bit more balance and integration so that women could hear women's voices, so that men could hear women's voices, so that anyone on any spectrum could be opened to a newer part of the conversation.
00:02:48.400 --> 00:02:49.120
Yeah, I love that.
00:02:49.360 --> 00:02:51.680
I want to go right in because you know how I am.
00:02:52.319 --> 00:02:58.719
You know, I think we've seen a quite a shift in the pendulum, and I think women's voices are being more heard now than ever.
00:02:58.879 --> 00:03:06.719
And it's actually shifting to a point where I know we were doing this men's health book together, and we've noticed that the men's voices are starting to silence a bit now too.
00:03:06.879 --> 00:03:13.599
I'm curious your thoughts on that, you know, pushing so far forward with the women and then saying, hey, you know what, maybe some of these people are getting left behind.
00:03:13.680 --> 00:03:21.360
And the reason why I want to bring that up is because there's this mindset or ideology that if we help this group of people, we can't help those people.
00:03:21.520 --> 00:03:27.840
And I think what happens is if we don't have the idea of rising tides raise all boats, that's the proper way to say that.
00:03:28.000 --> 00:03:29.520
I think people get left behind.
00:03:29.599 --> 00:03:32.960
And I think that it hurts everyone if we're not all moving forward together.
00:03:33.120 --> 00:03:34.000
What are your thoughts on that?
00:03:34.319 --> 00:03:37.680
Well, I want to pick apart something that you just said.
00:03:37.840 --> 00:03:42.639
Saying men's voices or women's voices is a really broad statement, right?
00:03:42.879 --> 00:03:54.639
Men's voices on certain topics like mental health or, you know, et cetera, to say men's voices are being silenced is I I'm not on board with that statement as a broad stroke.
00:03:54.960 --> 00:04:01.439
But what men feel like they can talk about openly and comfortably, I think is limited, right?
00:04:01.599 --> 00:04:17.759
And so I've been looking at this, stepping back a little bit, and I'm thrilled that women have taken more of a role in conversations, in writing and publishing, and are finding a space where they can hold their own.
00:04:17.920 --> 00:04:18.720
This is amazing.
00:04:18.879 --> 00:04:20.480
This is what feels like progress.
00:04:20.639 --> 00:04:24.480
It is never meant to come at the cost of someone else.
00:04:24.879 --> 00:04:27.040
That's that's not how it's gonna work.
00:04:27.199 --> 00:04:33.120
But I've always seen it where I've just been watching trends for about 15 years.
00:04:33.279 --> 00:04:45.519
There was a wave where women needed to go off on their own to really to make some discoveries, but that's not, we're not supposed to be moving away from one another.
00:04:45.759 --> 00:04:58.079
But I do think that pulling back a little bit or pulling into one oneself or pulling into one's own group served a function so that we can come back together.
00:04:58.240 --> 00:05:05.759
And I think it's okay for us to move away from like this, but inevitably, we're not gonna thrive out here.
00:05:06.079 --> 00:05:16.480
We're gonna thrive when we come back with more information, with more clarity, confidence, skill, acceptance, and we can come back and work together.
00:05:16.720 --> 00:05:23.439
And so if that's catching people up on some of the conversations you and I have had over the last year, yeah.
00:05:24.000 --> 00:05:24.240
Sure.
00:05:24.480 --> 00:05:31.680
It's definitely not like men's groups and women's groups, not so that we can be apart, but so that we can come together.
00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:32.800
Yeah, I agree with that.
00:05:32.879 --> 00:05:37.600
And I think that um men have fallen behind in that space and they're starting to catch up a little bit.
00:05:37.759 --> 00:05:42.000
And I think part of it was because oh, the boys' club was kind of shut down for a little while.
00:05:42.160 --> 00:05:48.800
Um, and I think that we need the boys' club, we need the women's club, we need those separate spaces to kind of find our own.
00:05:48.879 --> 00:05:49.920
We're just different, right?
00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:50.720
We're unique.
00:05:50.959 --> 00:05:59.439
And I think that in order for us to have that cohesive unit, we have to go off on our own as men, go off on our own as women, and come back together as a team.
00:05:59.600 --> 00:06:02.000
And I think that, you know, we've talked about this so much.
00:06:02.079 --> 00:06:14.160
And I even look at therapy because I work with so many clients that obviously are in relationships, and I'm like, it's so powerful to have your own therapist, each of you, and then to come together and work on things together.
00:06:14.319 --> 00:06:18.560
Because when you really look at it, like none of those models work that have don't have balance.
00:06:18.720 --> 00:06:26.240
And I think that we're, you know, I just Simon Sinek just I reposted something of his yesterday, and it was just the idea that it's not one way or the other much.
00:06:26.319 --> 00:06:27.759
It's like this pendulum swing, right?
00:06:27.839 --> 00:06:31.120
It's like, you know, I love the dichotomy of everything, and those pendulums do swing.
00:06:31.199 --> 00:06:40.800
But you and I are of an age now where we've actually seen multiple patterns and lived through them, and you kind of start to see the writing on the wall and going, yeah, this is this is a much better direction.
00:06:40.959 --> 00:06:51.040
And I think, you know, I'm curious to kind of shift this conversation a little bit back to writing, is is going through these patterns and seeing the shifts and seeing the pendulum swings of writing and publishing.
00:06:51.120 --> 00:07:03.600
Like, what is your thoughts in general as far as books as a whole functioning as this maybe vehicle of society, like as people's voices get expressed, as people be able to come together, as they be able to share?
00:07:03.839 --> 00:07:09.040
Because it's it's starting to feel a bit like a lost art in some ways with so much social media.
00:07:09.279 --> 00:07:14.959
And for me, it's something that I don't know, I think it's got a very special place, not in just in history, but in the future.
00:07:15.040 --> 00:07:16.319
I'm just curious your thoughts on that.
00:07:16.560 --> 00:07:18.240
Yeah, so many different things come up.
00:07:18.399 --> 00:07:24.480
One is it's the things that make us different that are gonna bring us together, not all being the same, right?
00:07:24.639 --> 00:07:33.759
But in order for that to work, we need to be exposed to things that are different than who we are or who we think we are, so that we can grow and evolve.
00:07:33.920 --> 00:07:36.800
And that's how I'm gonna link our two conversations, right?
00:07:36.959 --> 00:07:42.000
Reading a book, and I was reading something this morning, is like spending time with another person.
00:07:42.160 --> 00:07:47.519
You are getting to insert yourself in their perspective, in their experience.
00:07:47.680 --> 00:07:54.079
And it's a person that mostly likely you will never get to sit down with for three to ten hours.
00:07:54.319 --> 00:07:58.959
But a book is, and it's also not just shooting the shit for 10 hours.
00:07:59.199 --> 00:08:04.319
It is ideally and usually a concentration digested.
00:08:04.480 --> 00:08:14.800
It's like the best parts of that person's lived and learned experience over five, 10, 30, 50 years squeezed into a couple of pages or a couple of hours.
00:08:14.959 --> 00:08:20.959
It's not just like eavesdropping at the coffee shop, the conversation, bitching and moaning that's happening next to you.
00:08:21.199 --> 00:08:24.399
It is somebody's masterclass, right?
00:08:24.879 --> 00:08:28.560
How else are we going to get the best?
00:08:28.879 --> 00:08:34.480
How else are we going to be able to, you know, we have a limited time in this life.
00:08:34.639 --> 00:08:39.200
There's only a certain number of hours, certain number of days that you get, and then it's over.
00:08:39.360 --> 00:08:41.200
How do you want to spend that time?
00:08:41.360 --> 00:08:43.279
Who do you want to expose yourself to?
00:08:43.519 --> 00:08:45.600
Who do you want to learn from?
00:08:45.759 --> 00:08:49.039
Do you want to make the most out of it, or do you want to just sort of waste it?
00:08:49.279 --> 00:08:52.000
You bring up an interesting point with social media.
00:08:52.080 --> 00:08:55.519
And I think now we absolutely have to talk about AI as well.
00:08:55.679 --> 00:09:03.919
There's this just sort of, I feel like it's everything that's ever been said dumped into a blender, and then we're like getting a slushy of that.
00:09:04.080 --> 00:09:23.600
And if you're writing a book using that exclusively or largely, then it's yeah, there's stuff in there, but it's not letting I mean, I mean, let's think about letting the cream rise to the top or letting um a good whiskey age.
00:09:24.000 --> 00:09:24.320
Okay.
00:09:24.799 --> 00:09:29.120
It it gets better with time and it gets better with discernment.
00:09:29.679 --> 00:09:33.919
And I I love books because they're our best.
00:09:34.399 --> 00:09:39.200
Good books are the best of a person, a culture, an idea.
00:09:39.440 --> 00:09:51.440
And not only do I love reading books and helping people create books, I love tra the transformation of a person who has this idea, and you're going through it right now.
00:09:51.600 --> 00:10:05.440
You have this lived and learned experience, but it has not yet been extracted from you, where you become and the transformation for you from idea generator, writer to author.
00:10:05.679 --> 00:10:08.159
Because I think these things go hand in hand.
00:10:08.320 --> 00:10:11.519
And we can't just talk about books from the perspective of the reader.
00:10:11.679 --> 00:10:24.720
It's powerful and it's important, but there's also this perspective of how you are gonna change and how you the way you're gonna show up is going to be significantly different as you go through this transformation.
00:10:24.879 --> 00:10:25.840
So it's all of it.
00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:26.960
I love all of it.
00:10:27.200 --> 00:10:37.360
You know, going through the process, just writing that chapter for the men's health book we did and writing this book that I'm writing right now, it's really brought up something in my mind that we're in a world that moves so fast.
00:10:37.519 --> 00:10:46.879
And you are like, here, you can do 400 pieces of content in three hours, you know, or you can, and I mean, you're talking to, I was a content machine for a while, as you know, right?
00:10:47.120 --> 00:10:49.200
And it's really helpful to get out there.
00:10:49.279 --> 00:10:54.399
Like every coach will tell you, and I coach this because I coached online marketing for years, is just get out there and make content.
00:10:54.559 --> 00:10:55.519
Get out there and make content.
00:10:55.759 --> 00:11:03.519
Absolutely, for the practice to refine, to nurture, but at the end of the day, that is not your best.
00:11:03.759 --> 00:11:10.240
The effort it takes to slow down, and let's be honest, it takes probably a good year for a brand new writer to write a book.
00:11:10.399 --> 00:11:16.159
You know, I know it can happen faster, but I really believe like, you know, just in and and maybe sometimes 10 years, right?
00:11:16.240 --> 00:11:17.519
Because it's been in there forever.
00:11:17.679 --> 00:11:22.879
And I think that that slowing down is something that we just AI can't do.
00:11:23.120 --> 00:11:24.320
It's it's it's a different thing.
00:11:24.399 --> 00:11:30.480
And, you know, I look at as society as we are still human beings, no matter what we want to do.
00:11:30.559 --> 00:11:40.000
And you there's certain parts of our DNA that you just can't take away, needs that we need, you know, nurturing that we need, connection that we need, connection to the earth, to each other.
00:11:40.320 --> 00:11:50.480
And this process of writing a book is it's irreplaceable with any sort of social media, any sort of sort of YouTube long form.
00:11:50.639 --> 00:11:53.120
It's and it's a very in-depth internal process.
00:11:53.200 --> 00:11:59.440
And, you know, it's like the old saying, you know, good things come to those who wait, or like anything worth doing is hard and takes time.
00:11:59.600 --> 00:12:07.759
And I think that that was the part for me that was so like it's it's a complete and total boot camp on personal transformation if you write this damn thing.
00:12:07.919 --> 00:12:08.639
So yeah.
00:12:09.039 --> 00:12:14.559
I just wanted to stress that I don't know if you have anything to add to it, but I think that that was really powerful.
00:12:14.879 --> 00:12:15.759
I I agree.
00:12:15.919 --> 00:12:22.320
I think part of what makes books great is is the heart that goes into them.
00:12:22.480 --> 00:12:27.279
That's not to say wait 30 more years because it'll be that much better.
00:12:27.440 --> 00:12:28.879
That's not what I'm going for.
00:12:29.120 --> 00:12:35.519
What I mean though is you can absolutely write a book, air quotes, in 45 minutes on AI.
00:12:35.679 --> 00:12:37.279
And it's gonna match the quality.
00:12:37.440 --> 00:12:39.679
The quality is gonna match the effort that went in.
00:12:39.840 --> 00:12:41.759
That's just the reality of it.
00:12:41.919 --> 00:12:45.600
I talk to people all the time and like and I say, how long have you wanted to write a book?
00:12:45.840 --> 00:12:50.000
And it's very often 10, 5, 20 years.
00:12:50.240 --> 00:12:57.279
And so there's a couple things that I always want to discern is have you been writing the book for 10 years?
00:12:57.440 --> 00:13:03.600
Or have you been learning the lessons that you needed to learn in order to write the book for 10 years?
00:13:03.759 --> 00:13:06.879
Writing a book for 10 years sounds like a terrible idea to me.
00:13:07.039 --> 00:13:08.639
Who was Mark 10 years ago?
00:13:08.799 --> 00:13:14.639
That dude and this dude couldn't sit down at a table and work together, probably on anything, right?
00:13:14.799 --> 00:13:17.039
And so don't write a book over that amount of time.
00:13:17.279 --> 00:13:21.440
You will change so significantly that you will constantly contradict yourself.
00:13:21.600 --> 00:13:29.600
But living those lessons, everything that you've won, lost, learned is gonna go into the book that you're working on now.
00:13:29.759 --> 00:13:36.720
When you write another book 10 years from now, it's gonna be a different book, different perspective, because you will have learned and grown.
00:13:36.960 --> 00:13:38.320
Yeah, no, I I agree completely.
00:13:38.480 --> 00:13:42.480
I was thinking, um, you know, I heard a saying one time and it just it really stuck with me.
00:13:42.559 --> 00:13:44.480
It said, Hard writing makes easy reading.
00:13:45.440 --> 00:13:46.799
And I've always loved that.
00:13:46.960 --> 00:13:49.519
And you think you can just throw it down on paper, but you can't.
00:13:49.679 --> 00:13:50.720
Like it takes time.
00:13:50.960 --> 00:13:54.240
And, you know, there's this kind of uh I think it was Rachel Hollis.
00:13:54.320 --> 00:13:55.360
I think I've told you this story.
00:13:55.440 --> 00:13:59.840
I was at an event, I think it was a Brenda Bichard event, and I think Lewis Howes was there and all these people.
00:13:59.919 --> 00:14:02.080
And everyone's like, You're so awesome.
00:14:02.159 --> 00:14:03.200
Like, how was your first book?
00:14:03.279 --> 00:14:04.080
Like, you're so successful.
00:14:04.240 --> 00:14:05.519
And she's like, It's actually my fifth.
00:14:05.679 --> 00:14:12.480
And the idea of this myth of overnight success in publishing and in entrepreneurship, as you know very well, because you've been an entrepreneur now for over a decade.
00:14:12.639 --> 00:14:16.000
I'm just curious if you could share with the audience, like you've worked with so many authors.
00:14:16.639 --> 00:14:22.559
What's the most surprising truth about success that nobody talks about that you don't get in the highlight rules?
00:14:22.639 --> 00:14:23.840
I'm just curious your thoughts on that.
00:14:24.080 --> 00:14:31.519
Yeah, I've been, I I love that this is where our conversation's going because it's come up very poignantly for me this week.
00:14:31.679 --> 00:14:39.200
This week is an 18th anniversary, a 16th anniversary, an 11th anniversary, a two-year anniversary.
00:14:39.360 --> 00:14:42.559
So many things have happened to me this week, year after year.
00:14:42.799 --> 00:14:55.279
Moving to China, moving to Colombia, finishing my yoga teacher training, discovering that I was pregnant, writing a book, doing my first sort of global speaking tour from Las Vegas to New York City.
00:14:55.440 --> 00:15:02.960
Um in each of those moments, I was looking forward and all the things I hadn't yet done.
00:15:03.200 --> 00:15:07.279
But this week, I'm looking backwards at all the things.
00:15:07.440 --> 00:15:10.399
And it's making me dizzy, honestly.
00:15:10.720 --> 00:15:15.279
It's super surreal to look and be like, look at that cute girl.
00:15:15.519 --> 00:15:24.240
Like she had no idea who she was becoming or what she was capable of, or just like it's it's stunning to me.
00:15:24.399 --> 00:15:25.200
Six years ago.
00:15:25.600 --> 00:15:25.919
Okay.
00:15:26.159 --> 00:15:28.080
Is six years ago a long time ago?
00:15:28.399 --> 00:15:28.960
Yes.
00:15:29.279 --> 00:15:29.600
No.
00:15:29.919 --> 00:15:31.679
It is when you're looking forward.
00:15:31.840 --> 00:15:32.879
It's a long time.
00:15:33.120 --> 00:15:34.159
Six years from now.
00:15:34.240 --> 00:15:38.559
It's like six years ago was just a minute ago.
00:15:38.799 --> 00:15:42.879
But six years ago, I had not opened my publishing company.
00:15:43.039 --> 00:15:46.480
Six years ago, I hadn't published my first book.
00:15:46.799 --> 00:15:50.799
It'd been published once, but I hadn't written my own book yet.
00:15:50.960 --> 00:15:52.879
I was still a baby.
00:15:53.120 --> 00:15:55.039
I drafted a book, but I hadn't published a book.
00:15:55.120 --> 00:16:00.159
And I was just this was like right at that precipice of everything that came after.
00:16:00.399 --> 00:16:07.519
And when I'm working with someone, and if I tell them six years from now, you will be, how does that feel?
00:16:07.679 --> 00:16:09.039
You're like, no, I want it now.
00:16:09.200 --> 00:16:11.919
I want it yesterday, I want it six years ago.
00:16:12.159 --> 00:16:16.240
But what I'm realizing is five years is nothing.
00:16:16.320 --> 00:16:17.120
It's a blink.
00:16:17.279 --> 00:16:25.840
And you and I have talked about this, and I want to share this here is I know I was that person, but no part of me recognizes her at all.
00:16:26.080 --> 00:16:30.240
The person who was audacious enough to believe she could open a publishing company.
00:16:30.480 --> 00:16:31.039
Amazing.
00:16:31.200 --> 00:16:31.759
Love her.
00:16:32.080 --> 00:16:36.080
Super grateful for that ridiculous intention.
00:16:36.480 --> 00:16:39.120
But everything else, it was so small.
00:16:39.279 --> 00:16:40.879
It was so ignorant.
00:16:41.039 --> 00:16:46.320
I mean, I'm I just want to like hug her and like sit her down and give her a couple of tips.
00:16:46.559 --> 00:16:53.519
But I see what's happened because of continuous, I guess, audacious moves between then and now.
00:16:53.679 --> 00:17:01.360
And it's really helpful to look at the next five years with this awareness of how far I've come.
00:17:01.600 --> 00:17:05.599
So it's not gonna be, you know, here's where I was, here's where I am.
00:17:05.839 --> 00:17:09.039
Five years from now is not a continuation of that same curve.
00:17:09.279 --> 00:17:16.160
Five years from now is a continued, like it's unimaginable at this point, but I know it.
00:17:16.319 --> 00:17:27.279
And so if I can condense all of that into just like a nugget that you can sort of suck on, you cannot possibly imagine where you're going and who you're gonna become.
00:17:27.440 --> 00:17:30.240
But all you do, like all I've done is just throw down every day.
00:17:30.400 --> 00:17:37.839
So throw down every day without the the worrying about where it's gonna get you so much.
00:17:38.319 --> 00:17:41.920
Because it's gonna get you there faster and further further than you can imagine now.
00:17:42.079 --> 00:17:42.880
That's it, right?
00:17:43.119 --> 00:17:46.559
You're gonna end up in a place that you can't even imagine today.
00:17:46.720 --> 00:17:48.400
I know I am, I know.
00:17:49.039 --> 00:17:52.799
And I've gotten better at imagining, but it's still gonna be different than that.
00:17:53.119 --> 00:17:59.200
You know, it's I have this saying and it says like basically everything is working out for me better than I could have ever hoped for or imagined.
00:17:59.440 --> 00:18:10.079
And I think that if I could give any wisdom to younger people or anybody actually for that matter, is is just like you said, is that idea of just it's piece by piece, step by step, little tiny details.
00:18:10.160 --> 00:18:12.400
And I think with all of that comes grace.
00:18:12.559 --> 00:18:15.440
Like really learning to give yourself grace to be kind.
00:18:15.599 --> 00:18:19.680
And I'm huge on accountability and structure, and you've got to kick yourself in the ass sometimes.
00:18:20.000 --> 00:18:29.759
But if you don't give yourself grace over those periods of time, that it becomes hard to do those little micro movements that are necessary to get to where you want to go.
00:18:29.920 --> 00:18:33.119
And I find something really unique, we're similar age.
00:18:33.279 --> 00:18:44.480
And I feel like for me, I have 10 times the amount of time at 45 to 55, then from 25 to 35.
00:18:44.640 --> 00:18:45.279
It's crazy.
00:18:45.440 --> 00:18:48.400
And obviously, I have 20 less years, you know, to live.
00:18:48.559 --> 00:18:49.279
Well, it depends.
00:18:49.359 --> 00:18:51.119
We'll see what uh AI comes up with.
00:18:51.359 --> 00:19:03.440
But the point is that it just, it's it's wild how this phase is such a different mindset and how you slow down so much and you realize, like you said, you have you have no idea what the future is gonna bring you, what's possible.
00:19:03.599 --> 00:19:05.759
I mean, look at how much my life has changed in a year.
00:19:05.839 --> 00:19:06.559
You've known me.
00:19:06.720 --> 00:19:09.119
It's it's crazy what I've experienced.
00:19:09.200 --> 00:19:11.200
And I just have no idea what the next year is gonna bring.
00:19:11.279 --> 00:19:12.559
So I agree completely.
00:19:12.799 --> 00:19:17.440
I do have a question for you though, for the audience is you know, this is kind of your expertise, right?
00:19:17.519 --> 00:19:20.880
You've lived all over the world, you've gone through crazy chaotic times.
00:19:21.039 --> 00:19:29.519
In that space, what I've experienced personally when I went through all the hardships with all my losses in the last year was, you know, if you, you know, being a Somalier, right?
00:19:29.599 --> 00:19:34.559
Like you could throw me into a room and I could sell wine all night and sling it and do whatever, no big deal.
00:19:34.720 --> 00:19:44.160
But to create is fucking hard when you're broken, when you're frozen, when life is kind of chaotic in general.
00:19:44.240 --> 00:19:45.680
It doesn't have to be that bad.
00:19:45.759 --> 00:19:47.759
Like, you know, my last year was pretty rough.
00:19:47.920 --> 00:19:50.880
But like creativity in the midst of chaos.
00:19:51.039 --> 00:19:56.559
I'm curious if you have any ideas on that, you know, how to protect your creativity when life feels messy.
00:19:56.720 --> 00:19:58.480
Yeah, I really appreciate this question.
00:19:58.640 --> 00:20:04.480
And I think the answer is the opposite of what we are trained to expect.
00:20:04.799 --> 00:20:08.480
We learn that success comes through hustle and more.
00:20:08.640 --> 00:20:10.160
And some of it does, right?
00:20:10.400 --> 00:20:13.839
You want to go sell another bottle of wine, you have to go sell another bottle of wine.
00:20:14.000 --> 00:20:21.440
But if you want to get inspired to make a new recipe with wine, it's not through hustle.
00:20:21.680 --> 00:20:24.079
The last book I put out addresses this a bit.
00:20:24.480 --> 00:20:28.480
It's typo, the art of imperfect creation, permission to do it badly.
00:20:28.559 --> 00:20:41.839
And the work the book that I'm working on right now is especially about this because one of the things that I learned and brought into the publishing process from the very beginning is this cyclical nature of creation.
00:20:42.079 --> 00:20:45.519
And creation doesn't just come from hustle and grind.
00:20:45.599 --> 00:20:47.119
That is a part of it.
00:20:47.279 --> 00:20:55.119
But if you look at the seasons and you look at the phases of the moon and you look at everything that's ever come about, there's four parts to it.
00:20:55.279 --> 00:21:05.680
And this is where, you know, going back to what you said, writing a book over 10 years, are you writing for 10 years or are you working on different parts of the process for 10 years?
00:21:05.920 --> 00:21:06.240
Right.
00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:09.759
One of the things they say is 80% of writing is not writing.
00:21:09.920 --> 00:21:20.960
And I completely agree with that because there's the dreaming and ideation, there's planning, there's actual put pen to paper, get the shit done, and then there's revision.
00:21:21.039 --> 00:21:27.279
And you must go through all of these phases, ideally a few times, to get to a final product.
00:21:27.519 --> 00:21:34.400
It's true with anything, it's true with cooking, it's true in relationships, it's true in business, it's true with everything.
00:21:34.640 --> 00:21:38.880
Michelin Star chefs don't just like throw together a recipe.
00:21:39.039 --> 00:21:41.359
How many times have they done a thing?
00:21:41.519 --> 00:21:43.119
The 10,000 hour rule.
00:21:43.359 --> 00:21:47.680
We are not going to just create brilliance all at once.
00:21:47.920 --> 00:21:52.480
It comes through rest, introspection, revision, reflection.
00:21:52.640 --> 00:21:56.400
All of these things are really valuable parts of the process.
00:21:56.559 --> 00:21:59.759
And the word writing actually, I think short circuits.
00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:00.480
Our brain.
00:22:00.640 --> 00:22:02.480
We're like, oh, I'm going to sit down and write.
00:22:02.799 --> 00:22:03.200
You're not.
00:22:03.279 --> 00:22:04.960
You're going to sit down and draft.
00:22:05.279 --> 00:22:09.519
Draft acknowledges that it's not going to be great the first time.
00:22:10.400 --> 00:22:14.960
And this is why I wrote this book, is because we go into writing thinking it's going to be good.
00:22:15.119 --> 00:22:18.079
And then we're shocked that it's not good.
00:22:18.240 --> 00:22:23.519
It's not as good as anything you've ever read because everything you've ever read is somebody's final draft.
00:22:23.759 --> 00:22:27.119
You're comparing an early draft to somebody else's final draft.
00:22:27.279 --> 00:22:31.359
You're different people, and your shitty first draft is exactly that.
00:22:31.599 --> 00:22:37.920
But you've got to learn to iterate and rest and reflect and find new inspiration and repeat.
00:22:38.240 --> 00:22:45.039
And that I think what holds so many people back is that they still are putting their story into a line.
00:22:45.279 --> 00:22:50.079
I'm going to decide to write a book and then I'm going to write a book and then I'm going to publish a book and then it's going to be amazing.
00:22:50.160 --> 00:22:51.440
And Oprah's going to call.
00:22:51.599 --> 00:22:58.160
And when any part of that story brings conflict or tension or obstacles, we're like, oh, well, I guess I'm not a writer.
00:22:58.319 --> 00:22:59.440
Oh, I'm not meant to do this.
00:22:59.599 --> 00:23:00.000
Oh, this.
00:23:00.160 --> 00:23:00.720
Oh, that.
00:23:00.880 --> 00:23:01.519
BS.
00:23:01.920 --> 00:23:03.039
Because it's a circle.
00:23:03.200 --> 00:23:04.240
It's a spiral.
00:23:04.480 --> 00:23:05.359
I'm going to draft.
00:23:05.440 --> 00:23:06.160
I'm going to learn.
00:23:06.319 --> 00:23:07.440
I'm going to improve.
00:23:07.599 --> 00:23:08.960
I'll get there eventually.
00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:13.759
And if you come at this process with that understanding, I'm going to take a nap.
00:23:13.920 --> 00:23:15.200
That's me working on my book.
00:23:15.359 --> 00:23:16.720
I'm going to take out a hike.
00:23:16.880 --> 00:23:18.160
That's me working on my book.
00:23:18.319 --> 00:23:19.599
I'm going to ask for help.
00:23:19.759 --> 00:23:20.960
That's me working on my book.
00:23:21.119 --> 00:23:23.519
And then I'm going to actually sit down and write a paragraph.
00:23:23.599 --> 00:23:25.039
And that's me working on my book.
00:23:25.359 --> 00:23:43.200
That single shift in awareness has changed everything about how I write, how I run my business, how I parent, how I coach my authors to write, how I coach my authors to then go get speaking gigs and podcasts and everything that comes after.
00:23:43.359 --> 00:23:49.279
I say this anytime somebody asks, because the first time I published a book, I went to bed disappointed.
00:23:49.519 --> 00:23:56.160
Somewhere along the line, I really thought all I had to do was write a good book, publish it, and Oprah would call me.
00:23:56.319 --> 00:23:57.519
And she didn't.
00:23:57.759 --> 00:23:58.160
Right.
00:23:58.400 --> 00:24:04.000
But I had this warped sense of what was involved and what the results would be.
00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:07.599
But when I look at it from this spiral, I'm like, oh good.
00:24:07.759 --> 00:24:12.480
All I gotta do is show up in this process again and again and again.
00:24:12.640 --> 00:24:15.279
And it's an ever-expanding reality.
00:24:15.599 --> 00:24:18.000
So that's that's what I gotta say about that.
00:24:18.240 --> 00:24:22.000
Yeah, and I'll I'll add Maya piece to that because I agree a thousand percent.
00:24:22.079 --> 00:24:24.880
And I think a big part is that balance that you're talking about.
00:24:24.960 --> 00:24:27.440
That, you know, I love to talk about the masculine and feminine.
00:24:27.519 --> 00:24:39.119
And I think one thing is if we're talking about just creativity as a whole, just like let's just singular single that out, it just doesn't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever happen in the grind, at least for me.
00:24:39.200 --> 00:24:39.359
Right?
00:24:39.440 --> 00:24:51.920
It happens when I'm walking on a beach, it happens when I'm completely distracted on an airplane or when I'm and it's just it's in those moments of what I consider dropping into the feminine and being connected and getting the download.
00:24:52.079 --> 00:24:53.279
I think that's so important.
00:24:53.359 --> 00:24:58.559
And then I think, you know, speaking of the spiral, this isn't a straight shot they talk about, you know, it's like it's like this, right?
00:24:58.720 --> 00:25:01.440
So how do we maintain that for long periods of time?
00:25:01.519 --> 00:25:02.960
And the answer is balance.
00:25:03.119 --> 00:25:07.920
The answer is allowing yourself to rest and drop into the feminine and find space.
00:25:08.160 --> 00:25:11.039
And I think that space is so overrated.
00:25:11.119 --> 00:25:16.240
And one thing, you know, I love and hate about Medellin is it's much slower than the United States.
00:25:16.400 --> 00:25:23.200
And it's really taught me to slow down and to value joy and to be at peace just in day-to-day life for absolutely no reason.
00:25:23.359 --> 00:25:27.680
You know, it's almost like you have to earn your peace and your joy and your happiness in the States, as you know.
00:25:27.839 --> 00:25:30.160
And me and you are still very much built that way.
00:25:30.240 --> 00:25:32.400
And I don't dislike the way I'm built.
00:25:32.480 --> 00:25:33.759
I actually really do like it.
00:25:33.839 --> 00:25:41.279
I'd rather learn to slow down because it's really hard to teach, you know, it's like it's it's you know they say you can uh you can boil a spaghetti soft but you can't make it hard.
00:25:41.519 --> 00:25:45.119
So I'd rather be the hard spaghetti, boil me down a little bit.
00:25:45.279 --> 00:25:53.839
And it's just funny because another piece that I want to share with everyone is, and I love this saying, and it's everybody wants to be the hero, but nobody wants to go through the hero's journey.
00:25:54.000 --> 00:25:56.880
And I can tell you this right now: great books, great stories.
00:25:56.960 --> 00:26:02.319
Like, you know how many crazy stories I have, and all the things I've been through, a lot of them were extremely painful.
00:26:02.559 --> 00:26:08.720
I mean, like the depth of darkness that I went through was beyond challenging, and that makes great stories.
00:26:08.880 --> 00:26:13.519
That makes people be like, wow, you know, when you read David Goggins, you love him so much.
00:26:13.680 --> 00:26:19.680
If you love him, maybe you hate him, but you you at least respect him because you're like, holy shit, that guy went through that.
00:26:19.839 --> 00:26:27.920
Like, it's the human spirit that we admire, and the human spirit, it's it's adversity that really puts us on that pinnacle.
00:26:28.000 --> 00:26:35.759
And I think that that's so important to understand that piece and understand that your creativity sometimes is your chaos, and that's what's going to bring it all out.
00:26:35.920 --> 00:26:39.039
And understanding that that masculine-feminine balance is huge.
00:26:39.200 --> 00:26:42.480
So I really appreciate you touching on that because I feel like you're the expert in that space.
00:26:42.640 --> 00:26:50.640
And speaking of you being the expert in this space, you know, I've watched the marketing boom just shift dramatically.
00:26:50.799 --> 00:26:58.319
And everybody is an influencer now, and everybody's a coach now, and everybody's at least speaking some positive affirmations online.
00:26:58.559 --> 00:27:02.400
And so, with that being said, the whole business of everything has changed.
00:27:02.559 --> 00:27:05.680
And so you can't just be this, you kind of got you can't just be a realtor anymore.
00:27:05.759 --> 00:27:07.279
You gotta be an influencer, right?
00:27:07.519 --> 00:27:15.279
But books are very, very, very powerful, and they used to just primarily be a product, but now they're becoming a business.
00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:21.519
And people are using the books as credibility, criteria, clout to build a business.
00:27:21.599 --> 00:27:28.880
So maybe you could speak on the idea for anybody who's even considering writing a book, how it's really much more than a product.
00:27:28.960 --> 00:27:30.160
A book is actually a business.
00:27:30.480 --> 00:27:31.119
So much more.
00:27:31.279 --> 00:27:31.599
Yeah.
00:27:31.759 --> 00:27:35.039
And that it requires a shift in thinking, okay?
00:27:35.440 --> 00:27:41.359
Because a book is a thing, it's a physical commodity, and you can buy it.
00:27:42.079 --> 00:27:46.720
But that's not, and I can make$2.28 from a book.
00:27:46.960 --> 00:27:47.359
Free.
00:27:47.759 --> 00:28:00.400
But that's not the function of a book, it's not a product to sell because it is the coalescing of ideas, and it does one thing for the reader.
00:28:00.559 --> 00:28:04.160
It gives them something to it's a tool for them to learn and grow.
00:28:06.079 --> 00:28:15.920
Red Thread's called Red Thread because a book is actually this connection that exists between the author and the reader.
00:28:16.160 --> 00:28:25.039
Every single person, when I read a book and I I love Audible, so I'm always listening to authors narrate their own stories.
00:28:25.119 --> 00:28:30.880
Um, I'm not just consuming a product or you filling two hours of my day.
00:28:31.119 --> 00:28:34.559
I'm in an intimate connection with that person.
00:28:34.799 --> 00:28:39.839
And what that does for me as the consumer is it elevates me.
00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:46.480
What it does for the author is it elevates them and it brings us closer.
00:28:46.640 --> 00:28:54.079
Am I more likely to attend a conference with this person, buy a product from this person, hire this person as my coach?
00:28:54.400 --> 00:29:08.160
Anything that they offer, I am more likely to participate in unless they're a total wanker and I learned that I hate them from their book, then, but I'm moved closer to this person in every way possible.
00:29:08.319 --> 00:29:15.119
In a world where everybody's an influencer and everybody's an expert in whatever they do, supposedly.
00:29:15.839 --> 00:29:27.279
And I have the choice to between two people, I'm going to choose the person that has a book because it's still a rarefied form of expertise.
00:29:27.599 --> 00:29:36.799
I subconsciously value that person's perspective more than the person who didn't go through that the struggle to get a book into the world.
00:29:36.960 --> 00:29:44.400
I don't care if you have a million hours on YouTube, 10,000 followers on, I mean 10 million followers on Instagram.
00:29:44.480 --> 00:29:44.960
I don't care.
00:29:45.119 --> 00:29:52.160
If you didn't take the time to coalesce your ideas for me into book form, I'm gonna go with the person who has a book.
00:29:52.319 --> 00:30:02.240
Either I'm gonna buy the book and have that validate my belief in them, or I'm just gonna leapfrog over the book and trust that person because they wrote the damn book.
00:30:02.400 --> 00:30:03.519
Books are old school.
00:30:03.680 --> 00:30:06.319
They are old school technology, right?
00:30:06.480 --> 00:30:11.759
There was a moment in history when it was the the cat's meow or like the printing press and it changed everything.
00:30:11.920 --> 00:30:14.000
It's still changing everything.
00:30:14.160 --> 00:30:21.440
And of all the mediums I could support people in sharing their ideas, books to me are still the coolest thing.
00:30:21.680 --> 00:30:26.240
Yes, you should probably have YouTube, and yes, you should be on podcasts, and you should do all the other things as well.
00:30:26.400 --> 00:30:27.440
But nothing beats a book.
00:30:27.599 --> 00:30:28.079
It doesn't.
00:30:28.480 --> 00:30:34.559
Yeah, I don't it makes a phenomenal addition to a digital funnel.
00:30:34.799 --> 00:30:41.440
I mean, I even studied a program, I think I spent$30,000 on that mastermind, and it was um and and really it was a book funnel.
00:30:41.599 --> 00:30:45.200
That was kind of the the the majority of what they taught, and then it led to a Facebook group.
00:30:45.359 --> 00:30:52.079
But one thing too is, you know, it's I think the quality of the book will be the determining factor, and the people that read it, they will be changed.
00:30:52.160 --> 00:30:53.759
And yeah, I think anybody could put out a book right now.
00:30:53.839 --> 00:30:55.680
There are people putting out 10 books a day or something like that.
00:30:55.759 --> 00:30:57.680
I saw, and I'm just like, okay, exactly.
00:30:57.839 --> 00:31:08.400
And there's no depth there, but I think if you really put your heart and soul into something, now I remember one time an expert copywriter told me he's like, Mark, when somebody really cares, like they because everyone's just gonna blow by your stuff.
00:31:08.480 --> 00:31:08.799
They don't care.
00:31:08.880 --> 00:31:15.039
It's the 0.01% that really cares, they're gonna actually read everything, listen to everything.
00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:18.400
And I think that that book just allows that deep, intimate touch.
00:31:18.480 --> 00:31:25.759
And something else, just from a funnel perspective that I loved, and I don't know why I didn't think of it, was when you were like, Yeah, you guys can put your QR codes in the chapters.
00:31:25.920 --> 00:31:27.039
And like, how awesome is that?
00:31:27.119 --> 00:31:30.799
You just have a QR code, you just snap shot, and now it's like they have access to everything.
00:31:30.960 --> 00:31:36.079
And then anytime anyone's ordering your book or doing anything, you're you're collecting an email, right?
00:31:36.319 --> 00:31:40.880
So you once you have that email and you have them in your ecosystem, that funnels all flow from there.
00:31:40.960 --> 00:31:41.440
Like that's it.
00:31:41.519 --> 00:31:42.480
Like that's the main goal.
00:31:42.640 --> 00:31:45.519
And so it's a really nice paid lead magnet, right?
00:31:45.759 --> 00:31:48.160
The very worst, you pay what it costs you, right?
00:31:48.240 --> 00:31:52.880
You ask them to pay what it costs you to ship and to print, or however that works, you would know better than me.
00:31:53.119 --> 00:31:57.279
But yeah, I mean it's it's like a paid lead magnet, and yeah, the credibility is awesome.
00:31:57.359 --> 00:32:09.279
So yeah, I appreciate you breaking that down a little bit because I do think that it is an underrated piece that's kind of coming back around, uh, because everyone's just really gone hardcore towards digital and social media.
00:32:09.359 --> 00:32:17.599
And, you know, I think I'm gonna actually add to my Instagram, one of the just the profile headers is you know, I've told you this, I'm doubling down on human connection in the world of AI.
00:32:17.839 --> 00:32:21.839
And I think that it goes back to what we spoke about earlier, is we're just human beings.
00:32:22.000 --> 00:32:33.599
I don't care how much AI you come up with, I don't care if you put our brains in another body, like you still have this, unless we can actually change the way our brains work, and we're no longer quote unquote human as we know it, you need these things.
00:32:33.759 --> 00:32:34.880
You need this connection.
00:32:34.960 --> 00:32:44.319
And I feel like there's a huge correlation with books, thought, depth, and connection, as there isn't just being around other humans, cuddling tribes, all of those things.
00:32:44.480 --> 00:32:58.720
So it's uh I definitely want to keep going old school in a world that's moving super fast in another direction because I think that if we don't do that and we don't slow down, I think we're gonna find ourselves in a world that's a little bit more challenging than it's been, maybe a little bit darker.
00:32:58.880 --> 00:33:00.559
We see all the horizons.
00:33:01.599 --> 00:33:01.920
Yeah.
00:33:02.079 --> 00:33:03.519
I think that that's a great term.
00:33:03.599 --> 00:33:13.599
And I don't want to get all dark on this uh podcast today, but like just the idea of the depression, the anxiety, the suicide, the all the things, the loss of purpose, life being so easy.
00:33:13.759 --> 00:33:14.720
Books are hard.
00:33:14.880 --> 00:33:17.359
Doing hard things makes you feel good about yourself.
00:33:17.440 --> 00:33:23.680
And I think that going the old school route, you know, and you see a lot of that shift with, you know, it went from like even look at the food industry.
00:33:23.759 --> 00:33:28.000
It went from McDonald's to like, hey, let's do farm to table and let's slow down and let's take our time.
00:33:28.079 --> 00:33:29.920
Let's grow our own crops without pesticides.
00:33:30.079 --> 00:33:37.759
I think people are there is a movement that is probably being overshadowed by the speed of AI and all that, but there is a movement to go back to our roots a bit.
00:33:37.839 --> 00:33:41.200
And I mean, as you said, I mean, how how old could books possibly be?
00:33:41.359 --> 00:33:45.039
You know, I mean, tablets are, you know, cuneiform tablets are 5,000 years old.
00:33:45.119 --> 00:33:48.319
So it's we've been doing this for a while, putting our thoughts down on something.
00:33:48.640 --> 00:33:55.599
Well, and with that last piece, again, I'm always looking at books from reader, creator.
00:33:55.920 --> 00:33:57.200
You can't separate them.
00:33:57.359 --> 00:34:02.240
We create books for the reader, but the transformation of a book impacts both.
00:34:02.400 --> 00:34:07.440
And one of the things that I still see so many people struggling with is imposter syndrome.
00:34:07.680 --> 00:34:25.519
No matter how impactful you are in all of these other channels, when you hold your book, when you read your own words in print, you see your name on paper, there is something that happens and it changes your identity forever.
00:34:25.840 --> 00:34:27.599
You are an author.
00:34:27.760 --> 00:34:31.679
You can be an influencer and it's still this temporary thing.
00:34:31.840 --> 00:34:35.760
It's fleeting, but author becomes part of your identity.
00:34:36.000 --> 00:34:39.440
You publish one book, you are an author forever.
00:34:39.679 --> 00:34:41.840
And it's it's a slow transformation.
00:34:42.000 --> 00:34:45.760
I did not wake up the next morning, wow, I'm an author.
00:34:45.920 --> 00:34:50.159
It took me a year for that identity to really seep in.
00:34:50.639 --> 00:34:54.400
But now I'm a multiple award-winning author.
00:34:54.639 --> 00:34:55.599
I own that.
00:34:55.760 --> 00:34:59.920
It is how I wake up in the morning, and that is how I move forward.
00:35:00.159 --> 00:35:03.280
And I've watched this happen for hundreds of people.
00:35:03.599 --> 00:35:09.280
And it changes how they show up in the world, and then it changes what they create from there.
00:35:09.519 --> 00:35:14.079
So that's that's another piece to just bring to this story.
00:35:14.239 --> 00:35:15.920
I can't be bothered.
00:35:16.159 --> 00:35:22.000
It just goes back to that like like earned clout, you know, like that earned respect.
00:35:22.239 --> 00:35:30.079
Remember when I got my black belt, it was just like a, it was a it was surreal, but it was like nobody can ever take this away from me.
00:35:30.239 --> 00:35:32.880
No matter what I spent, and I spent 10 years earning that.
00:35:33.039 --> 00:35:39.760
And it was um, and I'm sure I'll feel the same way when I become, I mean, I guess I am an author when I have my own book, you know.
00:35:40.079 --> 00:35:42.000
So it's yeah, I love it.
00:35:42.079 --> 00:35:49.840
I I guess I wanted to kind of finish up with the subject that's is a little bit, you know, not unique to you and I, but we've done a lot of work together over the last year.
00:35:49.920 --> 00:35:58.239
And I've watched you overcome so many living beliefs and fears and grow substantially from a fiscal perspective and from a team perspective.
00:35:58.400 --> 00:36:00.159
And it's just really beautiful to see.
00:36:00.239 --> 00:36:01.679
I'm very proud of you, of course.
00:36:01.920 --> 00:36:18.639
But I also want to know, I want to just know if you could speak on a little bit about building a mission-driven company that feeds your soul, because I think that's what Red Thread is, and being able to not only stay aligned with your core values, you know, because I'm I'm I'm creating something called the core reinvention method.
00:36:18.719 --> 00:36:20.239
And it's a lot of the work we've already done.
00:36:20.320 --> 00:36:21.920
I just didn't name it yet.
00:36:22.239 --> 00:36:30.239
Um, and just how all that kind of comes together because being an entrepreneur, being an author, you said it yourself, like all the fear comes in.
00:36:30.320 --> 00:36:30.800
Who am I?
00:36:30.880 --> 00:36:33.039
Who's gonna listen to me running a team?
00:36:33.199 --> 00:36:34.960
I'm the person everyone's looking to now.
00:36:35.119 --> 00:36:43.679
Now, and then you know, the similar, the, the, the challenges we've been facing, which I faced as an entrepreneur, which is like delegating and allowing and trusting, right?
00:36:43.840 --> 00:36:48.559
And you have this mission-driven company that feeds your soul, but you still have to show up as this pinnacle and this leader.
00:36:48.639 --> 00:36:53.920
And and like you said, six years ago, you're just like, oh, that cute little girl that was just trying to figure shit out.
00:36:54.079 --> 00:37:04.639
I'm curious if you can just speak on any of that because I think it's so powerful for our audience to hear whether they are an entrepreneur building a business, whether they are a woman trying to share their voice, or whether they're attempting to be an author.
00:37:04.880 --> 00:37:09.440
Yeah, I the thing that comes to mind is a conversation I just had with my daughter.
00:37:09.599 --> 00:37:10.400
She's 10.
00:37:10.639 --> 00:37:15.679
And she has this perception of what it means to be an adult.
00:37:15.840 --> 00:37:22.800
And it's all of the easy stuff that she wants and doesn't feel like she has now, and none of the hard stuff.
00:37:25.440 --> 00:37:27.360
Sounds about right for 10.
00:37:27.679 --> 00:37:28.960
All the way to 20, maybe.
00:37:29.199 --> 00:37:33.039
But it also sounds right for all the people who want the thing.
00:37:33.280 --> 00:37:55.440
They want to run the business, they want to be the author, they want to do this, but they don't want to put in the hours and they don't want to have the hard conversations, and they don't want to pay taxes, and they don't want to fire and hire people, and they don't want to make SOPs, and they don't want to do the stuff that's sort of behind the scenes, but fundamental to the actual thing.
00:37:55.760 --> 00:37:56.639
Little context.
00:37:56.800 --> 00:37:58.719
My daughter moved out yesterday.
00:37:58.880 --> 00:38:03.519
She put a note on her door and she said, This is apartment 200.
00:38:03.679 --> 00:38:04.719
This is the owner.
00:38:04.880 --> 00:38:06.880
Leave a note on the door if you want to talk to me.
00:38:07.039 --> 00:38:07.360
Okay.
00:38:07.679 --> 00:38:08.239
Amazing.
00:38:08.559 --> 00:38:10.159
I loved this.
00:38:10.400 --> 00:38:11.760
I told Mark this yesterday.
00:38:11.920 --> 00:38:14.239
I was like, oh my God, this is the best thing ever.
00:38:14.480 --> 00:38:20.639
She's gonna have to cook her own meals, she's gonna have to wake herself up, she's gonna have to do all the hard stuff.
00:38:20.880 --> 00:38:23.039
I was really hoping it would last at least a week.
00:38:23.199 --> 00:38:24.320
It lasted three hours.
00:38:24.639 --> 00:38:24.880
Okay.
00:38:25.119 --> 00:38:27.920
She had completely not even two and a half, maybe.
00:38:29.199 --> 00:38:37.599
And so when we think about call calling it mission-driven is really important because then you have to give a damn.
00:38:38.800 --> 00:38:48.719
And you have to keep giving a damn enough to do the hard stuff, enough to learn the skills that you probably didn't come in with.
00:38:49.039 --> 00:38:52.800
I absolutely did not come in with these skills.
00:38:52.960 --> 00:38:57.119
I didn't even come in with the awareness of the skills that I didn't have.
00:38:57.840 --> 00:38:58.159
Okay.
00:38:58.480 --> 00:39:00.480
And you've heard this said before.
00:39:00.639 --> 00:39:02.719
What got you here won't get you there.
00:39:02.960 --> 00:39:21.599
What's gonna get you there isn't gonna get you further, and be wildly uncomfortable and to not know the next thing, but be willing to go figure it out, be willing to read the books, call in the people who do know, ask for help.
00:39:21.840 --> 00:39:23.280
Mark's gonna smile to himself.
00:39:23.360 --> 00:39:25.599
He knows this is one of my sticking points.
00:39:25.840 --> 00:39:31.599
But if you don't know it, you need to find someone who does and or learn it yourself.
00:39:31.760 --> 00:39:33.119
This is awful.
00:39:33.360 --> 00:39:34.400
It's terrible.
00:39:34.639 --> 00:39:38.559
But if you aren't willing to become someone else, then guess what?
00:39:38.719 --> 00:39:41.599
You're just gonna stay exactly who you are.
00:39:42.719 --> 00:39:46.480
Uh and again, it doesn't have to happen overnight.
00:39:46.719 --> 00:39:54.239
Overnight success usually takes about a decade, but it doesn't take a decade of you doing exactly the same shit that you used to do.
00:39:54.400 --> 00:40:04.079
It's a decade of you striving and learning and struggling and growing and pushing yourself further than you imagined even possible.
00:40:04.239 --> 00:40:08.400
And that's exactly what it's gonna take for my 10-year-old daughter to become the adult.
00:40:08.559 --> 00:40:09.199
That's it.
00:40:09.360 --> 00:40:13.440
That doesn't mean it can't happen in five years because it can.
00:40:13.920 --> 00:40:19.280
It can happen in three, but it sure as shit isn't gonna happen if you don't show up today.
00:40:19.440 --> 00:40:23.280
Today's the only day that you have that's gonna get you anywhere.
00:40:23.519 --> 00:40:25.360
It's the only day you'll ever have.
00:40:25.599 --> 00:40:33.519
And so thinking about your whole life and the long-term growth that you're trying to create, but what you're willing to do about it today.
00:40:33.920 --> 00:40:35.679
Can't do anything about it a month from now.
00:40:35.840 --> 00:40:37.360
I'm only ever gonna have today.
00:40:37.599 --> 00:40:40.559
Yeah, I think I tell people, I mean, like, this is what you signed up for.
00:40:40.800 --> 00:40:43.039
And everybody wants the easy part of it.
00:40:43.119 --> 00:40:55.599
And I look at like, you know, I've had some relationship um situations over my life, and it's like the biggest caveat between a healthy relationship and unhealthy relationship is whether or not the person's willing to commit and work with you.
00:40:55.760 --> 00:41:01.920
The biggest caveat between getting your book done and not getting it, but is you whether you're willing to sit down and do the hard work that's uncomfortable.
00:41:02.000 --> 00:41:04.639
And I don't think it's all push hard hustle, like we said.
00:41:04.719 --> 00:41:05.840
You know, it's it's that feminine.
00:41:05.920 --> 00:41:07.840
You got to drop in and enjoy the process.
00:41:08.000 --> 00:41:14.480
But the real challenge that I see with people is I just think overall the average person just gives up easily.
00:41:14.639 --> 00:41:22.400
And, you know, I don't love quoting people all the time, but I mean, Alex Ramosi has a really great quote, and he says, you know, this is what heart feels like.
00:41:22.559 --> 00:41:26.480
And it's a great quote because this is what you signed up for, is what I'd rather say.
00:41:26.559 --> 00:41:30.159
Like, this is what heart feels like, kind of feels I don't love it, but I get it.
00:41:30.239 --> 00:41:34.559
And I I like to use it because it makes it's a little more in depth than what I say, but this is what you signed up for.
00:41:34.719 --> 00:41:38.960
Like, this is it day-to-day, in and out, relationship, book, business.
00:41:39.119 --> 00:41:40.800
Like, this is what we're here for.
00:41:40.960 --> 00:41:42.400
And we all go through our moments.
00:41:42.480 --> 00:41:43.599
Like, you don't have to be perfect.
00:41:43.679 --> 00:41:45.519
I'm a prime example, and I'll be very vulnerable.
00:41:45.599 --> 00:41:49.760
I mean, I was broken and frozen for about a year, and that was just what my body needed.
00:41:49.840 --> 00:41:52.559
I almost looked like, hey, you know, like I suffered a gunshot wound on my leg.
00:41:52.639 --> 00:41:53.920
Like, that took a long time to heal.
00:41:54.000 --> 00:41:56.079
And I think about that wound and how big it was.
00:41:56.159 --> 00:41:59.119
I had like a plug in there, like an old school bathtub with a chain.
00:41:59.199 --> 00:42:02.159
They had to pull out the plug to get to it's this is a true story.
00:42:02.320 --> 00:42:07.280
And when I think about that, like that took a long time, about a year, to really be a hundred percent.
00:42:07.360 --> 00:42:14.960
And so when you look at like life, when life knocks you down and kicks you in the ass sometimes, sometimes those he those wounds take really a long time to heal.
00:42:15.440 --> 00:42:22.320
I also want to give people grace because I just don't want everyone getting from this show that it's just, oh, I just gotta hustle, I just gotta grow, and I just gotta figure it out.
00:42:22.400 --> 00:42:23.360
It's always gonna be hard.
00:42:23.599 --> 00:42:24.719
Life is fucking hard.
00:42:24.800 --> 00:42:29.039
And sometimes you just gotta survive and just get through the days and do the things.
00:42:29.119 --> 00:42:32.239
And so I think that's important to for the audience to know as well, you know?
00:42:32.480 --> 00:42:40.719
Well, and but to weave this back together and to put it back into this context of creation, how much did you learn in that year?
00:42:40.960 --> 00:42:43.519
You had to slow down to heal.
00:42:43.760 --> 00:42:50.639
But the learning, the book that you're writing now is different than the book you would have written a year ago without any of that.
00:42:50.880 --> 00:42:52.159
A thousand percent.
00:42:52.320 --> 00:42:56.079
Because I've known you every day of this whole journey in this year.
00:42:56.239 --> 00:42:57.679
It's not hustle.
00:42:57.840 --> 00:43:02.320
We're not advocating hustle, but there will be hard times.
00:43:02.639 --> 00:43:11.679
And I I mean, we you and I have done a another conversation about the masculine and feminine in creation because they we need both.
00:43:11.920 --> 00:43:34.400
When when you speak about creation, I I call that inspiration because you need the inspiration to start, and that's the feminine, but you need the masculine to throw down the intellectual, the logistical, the planning, the revision, the analytical, the the dreaming and the drafting are the feminine parts.
00:43:34.480 --> 00:43:37.280
And then the planning and the revision are the masculine.
00:43:37.519 --> 00:43:39.119
That is that balance.
00:43:39.440 --> 00:43:45.039
We need both in order to not just have inspiration and let it stay an idea.
00:43:45.280 --> 00:43:51.519
In order to take an idea and move it into something tangible, we need the masculine as well.
00:43:51.599 --> 00:43:58.159
And so one of the things I love about creation is the necessity of both masculine and feminine attributes.
00:43:58.320 --> 00:43:58.800
I love it.
00:43:59.039 --> 00:44:02.239
You just made me think of inspiration plus execution equals creation.
00:44:02.400 --> 00:44:08.639
You know, and I you said the the drafting and the dreaming, and and then, you know, it's just you can't make a baby all by yourself.
00:44:08.880 --> 00:44:09.440
You can't.
00:44:09.599 --> 00:44:10.239
I can't.
00:44:10.400 --> 00:44:14.559
So, like, how can you make a business or a book or an anything?
00:44:14.880 --> 00:44:20.639
You know, I I want to just finish with this because it's such a beautiful thing is things are gonna be hard.
00:44:20.800 --> 00:44:26.000
Those hard things will shape you far more than anything that was easy in your life.
00:44:26.239 --> 00:44:30.719
You know me for a year now, and I am X the character and integrity of person I was a year ago.
00:44:30.800 --> 00:44:31.199
It's crazy.
00:44:31.280 --> 00:44:33.039
And I didn't even think I could do so much.
00:44:33.199 --> 00:44:35.519
I really thought I had it figured out a year ago.
00:44:35.760 --> 00:44:42.960
And but to to really just put all this together is you 1,000% cannot do any of this by yourself.
00:44:43.119 --> 00:44:44.400
Like you just can't do it.
00:44:44.639 --> 00:44:50.559
I've had you as a support and multiple friends home here in Medellin, back home in Vegas.
00:44:50.719 --> 00:44:57.039
And it's just, I just want to to end this note is because we have such a beautiful relationship, you and I, from both a working perspective.
00:44:57.119 --> 00:44:59.440
I'm your client, you're my client, and we're friends.
00:44:59.599 --> 00:45:01.920
And all we're doing every day is just helping each other.
00:45:02.000 --> 00:45:06.239
And so, you know, everyone kind of gets out there on the guru and like, oh, invest in yourself.
00:45:06.320 --> 00:45:16.159
And yeah, and I get why they do it if you want to buy your product and your program, but I just want to take it from a little bit more of a holistic kind of spiritual side is you really need your tribe, man.
00:45:16.239 --> 00:45:20.400
You need your people that are gonna show up for you daily, just even have a conversation.
00:45:20.480 --> 00:45:27.599
I got a buddy of mine that lives in Vietnam named Dane, and and I just talking to him sometimes, I'm just like, I get off the phone, I'm like, all right, let's go, you know?
00:45:27.840 --> 00:45:29.599
And it's you just need that support.
00:45:29.679 --> 00:45:33.039
So I appreciate you saying that in the end here because that's super powerful.
00:45:33.199 --> 00:45:34.639
I mean, it is it's everything.
00:45:34.880 --> 00:45:37.039
We really are designed to work as a unit, you know.
00:45:37.280 --> 00:45:38.079
Well, thank you very much.
00:45:38.159 --> 00:45:39.039
So I have a question.
00:45:39.199 --> 00:45:40.480
What is next for you?
00:45:41.199 --> 00:45:42.880
And where can people find you?
00:45:43.519 --> 00:45:50.159
I can very much feel that I'm right on the edge of that next iteration.
00:45:50.880 --> 00:45:53.039
I can always feel it before it happens.
00:45:53.199 --> 00:45:59.760
I don't know what it will be, but I know it's coming and I know it's bigger than I've ever imagined it.
00:46:00.079 --> 00:46:02.000
This next bite will be.
00:46:02.159 --> 00:46:03.840
It's it's really exciting.
00:46:04.000 --> 00:46:12.559
I always have ideas about how to help people write and publish and make impact with their books more fun, easy, etc.
00:46:12.960 --> 00:46:14.400
So lots of that's coming.
00:46:14.639 --> 00:46:21.119
We are always found at redthreadbooks.com and redthreadbooks on Instagram.
00:46:21.280 --> 00:46:23.760
Those are the places we are most likely found.
00:46:24.079 --> 00:46:24.559
Awesome.
00:46:24.719 --> 00:46:26.400
I really appreciate you for sharing.
00:46:26.559 --> 00:46:28.480
I think it's awesome that we can get vulnerable.
00:46:28.639 --> 00:46:32.800
This whole show is really about conscious leadership, integrity, character.
00:46:32.960 --> 00:46:37.440
It's what Evolved Entrepreneur is all about as a whole, and you embody that so well.
00:46:37.519 --> 00:46:38.719
So I appreciate you sharing.
00:46:38.800 --> 00:46:39.840
And yeah, thank you.
