1
00:00:00,870 --> 00:00:06,450
Welcome to Designed Pause, a space for women who are thinking about taking an intentional career break.
2
00:00:06,870 --> 00:00:07,740
I'm Deidra Green.
3
00:00:08,430 --> 00:00:18,150
Today's episode is adapted from a recent video where I reflect on what it really means to pause, not to escape your life, but to design what comes next.
4
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:21,660
If you're in a season of transition, you're in the right place.
5
00:00:22,532.645326566 --> 00:00:35,592.644326566
So I'm gonna be honest, this is my fourth time trying to record this podcast episode, so I know that it must be vitally important and one that you need to hear, or else I would not be so interrupted.
6
00:00:35,912.645326566 --> 00:00:37,912.645326566
So let's get right into it.
7
00:00:38,202.645326566 --> 00:00:55,442.646326566
If I were to ask you, what is one thing that you are so incredibly proud of that you've done at work? Most of you would have something to say like you built some sort of program from scratch, or you launched something that has never existed before in your company.
8
00:00:55,832.644326566 --> 00:00:58,952.644326566
You raised money for an important cause.
9
00:00:59,52.645326566 --> 00:01:07,892.645326566
You led teams through a season where the direction changed every single meeting, and you still came out on the other side intact.
10
00:01:08,312.644326566 --> 00:01:16,506.645326566
And some of you have done all of those things And then, and this is kind of what I really wanna talk about.
11
00:01:16,516.645326566 --> 00:01:42,556.64532657
Some of the same women who have done those impossible things, who have documented it, planned for it, led people through it, who have somehow made other people believe in a vision as they were building the plane in the air, those same women with those same skill sets and those same accomplishments are terrified and paralyzed at the thought of planning something for themselves.
12
00:01:43,156.64432657 --> 00:01:51,186.64332657
And I wanna ask, why is that? Let me tell you some of the things that I know about you because I see you in my work.
13
00:01:51,186.64332657 --> 00:01:56,416.64532657
I am you, and I created these resources and this podcast for you.
14
00:01:56,956.64432657 --> 00:02:04,926.64332657
You have been held responsible for outcomes where you didn't have decision-making authority, and you still survived it.
15
00:02:05,616.64332657 --> 00:02:06,786.64532657
More than survived.
16
00:02:06,786.64532657 --> 00:02:14,146.64432657
You figured out how to navigate it, you learned who to ask, you learned when to push, and you learned when to let go of something.
17
00:02:14,616.64332657 --> 00:02:21,206.64132657
You learned how to protect your team while operating under constraints that weren't yours to set.
18
00:02:21,826.64332657 --> 00:02:41,126.64632657
You've changed direction mid-project because the business changed, and instead of all of that breaking you, you adapted, you communicated, and you helped the people around you understand, and you brought them on, on board, to do what needed to be done.
19
00:02:41,696.64632657 --> 00:02:46,836.64932657
You didn't just accept the change, you led through it, and you truly built something.
20
00:02:47,596.64732657 --> 00:02:49,736.64332657
Maybe you're really proud of a process.
21
00:02:49,756.64332657 --> 00:02:51,246.64832657
Maybe you're really proud of a team.
22
00:02:51,556.64632657 --> 00:03:09,936.64532657
Maybe it's a program or a system that nobody had even asked you for, but you knew that it needed to exist to help the business run, and you built it from nothing, from direction that was unclear, from resources that were probably stretched way too thin, and you made it work.
23
00:03:10,256.64332657 --> 00:03:19,146.64632657
And it's still there, and it probably works better now than when it did when you first launched it because you cared enough to refine it.
24
00:03:19,976.65232657 --> 00:03:21,476.65132657
That is not luck.
25
00:03:21,696.63832657 --> 00:03:34,396.64132657
That is discipline, that is strategy, and that's the ability to think several steps ahead while you're managing what's right in front of you, and that is who you are.
26
00:03:34,476.65232657 --> 00:04:03,246.64832657
So why can't you take those same skills, everything that you're thinking of right now, everything that you've accomplished, why can't you take those same skills and point them in the direction of your own life and do the things that really matter to you? Why do you think that you won't be able to figure it out? And I'm asking this with real curiosity, not judgment.
27
00:04:03,586.64832657 --> 00:04:16,216.64732657
Why does the thought of planning something for yourself feel so different? I understand that it can be scary, and I can understand that it's gonna be hard.
28
00:04:16,246.64732657 --> 00:04:18,556.64832657
I'm living it right now for the second time.
29
00:04:18,666.64732657 --> 00:04:19,866.64832657
I know that it's hard.
30
00:04:20,506.64732657 --> 00:04:39,276.64832657
But somewhere along the way, we learn to believe that the skills that we've built, the planning, the strategy, the ability to hold complexity and move through it, we think that those skills were corporate skills and they belong to the job.
31
00:04:39,766.64632657 --> 00:04:48,356.64632657
Those were tools for the business, and the idea of taking those tools and pointing them at ourselves somehow feels wrong.
32
00:04:48,776.64832657 --> 00:04:58,266.64732657
Like we're not allowed to use the best of what we know how to do for the benefit of our own lives.
33
00:04:59,486.64732657 --> 00:05:09,546.64632657
And the other thing is, I think we've internalized that decisions about our own lives should come from somewhere external.
34
00:05:10,96.64432657 --> 00:05:26,956.64332657
We need some sort of external permission or sign before we can make big decisions, anything but the same rigor and thought that we bring to everything else, but that's not true.
35
00:05:27,386.64532657 --> 00:05:34,156.64332657
When I was figuring out my pause, I couldn't just do it with my gut and my intuition.
36
00:05:34,166.64332657 --> 00:05:48,106.64832657
It started there, but in order for it to actually come to fruition, I had to bring the planning, the framework, the decision-making, the structure, my skills.
37
00:05:48,136.64532657 --> 00:05:57,486.64232657
I had to bring all of that to actually point it towards what I was trying to build for my own life, and then things got clear.
38
00:05:57,936.64832657 --> 00:06:05,266.64432657
Then it gave me permission to use the best tools that I have on the things that matter the most to me.
39
00:06:06,626.64332657 --> 00:06:10,856.64132657
I know it takes time to unlearn what you've been taught.
40
00:06:11,396.64732657 --> 00:06:33,674.64832657
It takes time to believe that the version of yourself that shows up at work, the one who is strategic, capable, and who figures things out, is the same version that can figure this out I know that you won't believe that, but I'm telling you, you don't have to become someone different to make this decision.
41
00:06:34,134.64832657 --> 00:06:37,34.64832657
You will, but that is a topic for another podcast.
42
00:06:37,94.64832657 --> 00:06:45,294.64832657
But right now, while you're trying to figure it out if it's even possible for you, you don't have to become a different version of yourself.
43
00:06:45,324.64832657 --> 00:06:51,744.64732657
You just have to point that version that you already are at the question that you're really asking.
44
00:06:52,194.64732657 --> 00:07:00,324.64832657
And I'm not saying that it's just gonna be easy, and because you've done hard things at work means that this is gonna feel simple and easy.
45
00:07:00,594.64932657 --> 00:07:06,504.64932657
It won't, because this time the stakes are personal, and it's your life, it's your future.
46
00:07:06,864.64632657 --> 00:07:08,534.64632657
It's not abstract.
47
00:07:08,924.64732657 --> 00:07:15,444.64932657
And I completely understand that, and I truly know that it matters.
48
00:07:15,524.64532657 --> 00:07:16,894.64632657
I really, really get that.
49
00:07:16,924.64732657 --> 00:07:20,194.64832657
It makes sense that it feels heavier.
50
00:07:20,694.64732657 --> 00:07:22,974.64932657
But here's what I do know.
51
00:07:23,634.64632657 --> 00:07:25,464.64632657
The capability is already there.
52
00:07:25,984.64832657 --> 00:07:28,184.64732657
You've proven that a thousand times over.
53
00:07:28,604.64732657 --> 00:07:51,448.64832657
You have proven that you can hold difficult things, and I'm telling you right now, you already have everything that you need to be able to make this decision for yourself It's just a matter of trusting that what's true about your capability at work is also true about your capability in your own life, and that takes time.
54
00:07:51,868.64832657 --> 00:08:00,868.64832657
I know that it takes more time to unlearn something than it does to learn it, and that is completely okay.
55
00:08:01,268.64832657 --> 00:08:09,678.64732657
I have resources for you if you're still in that phase, but this is something that you don't have to do alone.
56
00:08:10,248.64832657 --> 00:08:15,288.64632657
You can book a free Pause Clarity Call with me, and we can walk through it.
57
00:08:15,328.64832657 --> 00:08:22,438.64532657
You can take a look at the decision kit, which gives you the framework for making a decision such as this.
58
00:08:22,988.64832657 --> 00:08:35,288.65132657
I've created a prompt that is a fast-track prompt that you can use with your favorite LLM, Claude or ChatGPT, and see if this will work for you.
59
00:08:35,888.65032657 --> 00:08:39,278.64932657
When I was taking my pause, I looked at my current reality.
60
00:08:39,288.65132657 --> 00:09:00,58.65732657
What was really there? My finances, my risk tolerance, my, energy level, and I identified the things that made sense for me and what I needed to bring into my life and what truly was going to work for me and where I actually wanted to pour my energy into.
61
00:09:00,728.65432657 --> 00:09:14,838.65332657
And then I decided, is now the right time? I believe that I am here to help other people shorten their journeys, and this is a journey that I really wanna help shorten for you.
62
00:09:15,198.65532657 --> 00:09:26,178.65632657
It's a major decision, but I think what-- but I know what I've created for you is going to help you shorten the spiral.
63
00:09:26,568.65032657 --> 00:09:44,978.65032657
It's gonna help you,, really dig into, what is it that I need to do to make this possible for me? And things will start to become more and more clear the more that you actually take this seriously as opposed to being stuck in the information spiral.
64
00:09:45,648.64732657 --> 00:10:13,528.65232657
What is something that you are really proud of that you've done at work? And then I want you to ask yourself, "What skills did I use to do that?" Because those are the same skills that are available to you right now, and if you're ready to point them at your own life, at your own pause, at your own future, that's what I've created all these resources, this podcast, everything for.
65
00:10:13,958.65332657 --> 00:10:15,228.64332657
It's the structure.
66
00:10:15,388.64532657 --> 00:10:21,708.64732657
It's permission to use the best of what you know how to do on the thing that matters the most to you.
67
00:10:22,688.64832657 --> 00:10:24,948.64532657
You've already figured out harder things.
68
00:10:25,338.64232657 --> 00:10:34,782.65232657
You can figure this out, too If this episode resonated, you can explore more reflections on the design paused YouTube channel.
69
00:10:35,262.65232657 --> 00:10:39,972.65232657
Take what you need, leave what you don't, and I'll meet you in the next pause.
00:00:00,870 --> 00:00:06,450
Welcome to Designed Pause, a space for women who are thinking about taking an intentional career break.
2
00:00:06,870 --> 00:00:07,740
I'm Deidra Green.
3
00:00:08,430 --> 00:00:18,150
Today's episode is adapted from a recent video where I reflect on what it really means to pause, not to escape your life, but to design what comes next.
4
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:21,660
If you're in a season of transition, you're in the right place.
5
00:00:22,532.645326566 --> 00:00:35,592.644326566
So I'm gonna be honest, this is my fourth time trying to record this podcast episode, so I know that it must be vitally important and one that you need to hear, or else I would not be so interrupted.
6
00:00:35,912.645326566 --> 00:00:37,912.645326566
So let's get right into it.
7
00:00:38,202.645326566 --> 00:00:55,442.646326566
If I were to ask you, what is one thing that you are so incredibly proud of that you've done at work? Most of you would have something to say like you built some sort of program from scratch, or you launched something that has never existed before in your company.
8
00:00:55,832.644326566 --> 00:00:58,952.644326566
You raised money for an important cause.
9
00:00:59,52.645326566 --> 00:01:07,892.645326566
You led teams through a season where the direction changed every single meeting, and you still came out on the other side intact.
10
00:01:08,312.644326566 --> 00:01:16,506.645326566
And some of you have done all of those things And then, and this is kind of what I really wanna talk about.
11
00:01:16,516.645326566 --> 00:01:42,556.64532657
Some of the same women who have done those impossible things, who have documented it, planned for it, led people through it, who have somehow made other people believe in a vision as they were building the plane in the air, those same women with those same skill sets and those same accomplishments are terrified and paralyzed at the thought of planning something for themselves.
12
00:01:43,156.64432657 --> 00:01:51,186.64332657
And I wanna ask, why is that? Let me tell you some of the things that I know about you because I see you in my work.
13
00:01:51,186.64332657 --> 00:01:56,416.64532657
I am you, and I created these resources and this podcast for you.
14
00:01:56,956.64432657 --> 00:02:04,926.64332657
You have been held responsible for outcomes where you didn't have decision-making authority, and you still survived it.
15
00:02:05,616.64332657 --> 00:02:06,786.64532657
More than survived.
16
00:02:06,786.64532657 --> 00:02:14,146.64432657
You figured out how to navigate it, you learned who to ask, you learned when to push, and you learned when to let go of something.
17
00:02:14,616.64332657 --> 00:02:21,206.64132657
You learned how to protect your team while operating under constraints that weren't yours to set.
18
00:02:21,826.64332657 --> 00:02:41,126.64632657
You've changed direction mid-project because the business changed, and instead of all of that breaking you, you adapted, you communicated, and you helped the people around you understand, and you brought them on, on board, to do what needed to be done.
19
00:02:41,696.64632657 --> 00:02:46,836.64932657
You didn't just accept the change, you led through it, and you truly built something.
20
00:02:47,596.64732657 --> 00:02:49,736.64332657
Maybe you're really proud of a process.
21
00:02:49,756.64332657 --> 00:02:51,246.64832657
Maybe you're really proud of a team.
22
00:02:51,556.64632657 --> 00:03:09,936.64532657
Maybe it's a program or a system that nobody had even asked you for, but you knew that it needed to exist to help the business run, and you built it from nothing, from direction that was unclear, from resources that were probably stretched way too thin, and you made it work.
23
00:03:10,256.64332657 --> 00:03:19,146.64632657
And it's still there, and it probably works better now than when it did when you first launched it because you cared enough to refine it.
24
00:03:19,976.65232657 --> 00:03:21,476.65132657
That is not luck.
25
00:03:21,696.63832657 --> 00:03:34,396.64132657
That is discipline, that is strategy, and that's the ability to think several steps ahead while you're managing what's right in front of you, and that is who you are.
26
00:03:34,476.65232657 --> 00:04:03,246.64832657
So why can't you take those same skills, everything that you're thinking of right now, everything that you've accomplished, why can't you take those same skills and point them in the direction of your own life and do the things that really matter to you? Why do you think that you won't be able to figure it out? And I'm asking this with real curiosity, not judgment.
27
00:04:03,586.64832657 --> 00:04:16,216.64732657
Why does the thought of planning something for yourself feel so different? I understand that it can be scary, and I can understand that it's gonna be hard.
28
00:04:16,246.64732657 --> 00:04:18,556.64832657
I'm living it right now for the second time.
29
00:04:18,666.64732657 --> 00:04:19,866.64832657
I know that it's hard.
30
00:04:20,506.64732657 --> 00:04:39,276.64832657
But somewhere along the way, we learn to believe that the skills that we've built, the planning, the strategy, the ability to hold complexity and move through it, we think that those skills were corporate skills and they belong to the job.
31
00:04:39,766.64632657 --> 00:04:48,356.64632657
Those were tools for the business, and the idea of taking those tools and pointing them at ourselves somehow feels wrong.
32
00:04:48,776.64832657 --> 00:04:58,266.64732657
Like we're not allowed to use the best of what we know how to do for the benefit of our own lives.
33
00:04:59,486.64732657 --> 00:05:09,546.64632657
And the other thing is, I think we've internalized that decisions about our own lives should come from somewhere external.
34
00:05:10,96.64432657 --> 00:05:26,956.64332657
We need some sort of external permission or sign before we can make big decisions, anything but the same rigor and thought that we bring to everything else, but that's not true.
35
00:05:27,386.64532657 --> 00:05:34,156.64332657
When I was figuring out my pause, I couldn't just do it with my gut and my intuition.
36
00:05:34,166.64332657 --> 00:05:48,106.64832657
It started there, but in order for it to actually come to fruition, I had to bring the planning, the framework, the decision-making, the structure, my skills.
37
00:05:48,136.64532657 --> 00:05:57,486.64232657
I had to bring all of that to actually point it towards what I was trying to build for my own life, and then things got clear.
38
00:05:57,936.64832657 --> 00:06:05,266.64432657
Then it gave me permission to use the best tools that I have on the things that matter the most to me.
39
00:06:06,626.64332657 --> 00:06:10,856.64132657
I know it takes time to unlearn what you've been taught.
40
00:06:11,396.64732657 --> 00:06:33,674.64832657
It takes time to believe that the version of yourself that shows up at work, the one who is strategic, capable, and who figures things out, is the same version that can figure this out I know that you won't believe that, but I'm telling you, you don't have to become someone different to make this decision.
41
00:06:34,134.64832657 --> 00:06:37,34.64832657
You will, but that is a topic for another podcast.
42
00:06:37,94.64832657 --> 00:06:45,294.64832657
But right now, while you're trying to figure it out if it's even possible for you, you don't have to become a different version of yourself.
43
00:06:45,324.64832657 --> 00:06:51,744.64732657
You just have to point that version that you already are at the question that you're really asking.
44
00:06:52,194.64732657 --> 00:07:00,324.64832657
And I'm not saying that it's just gonna be easy, and because you've done hard things at work means that this is gonna feel simple and easy.
45
00:07:00,594.64932657 --> 00:07:06,504.64932657
It won't, because this time the stakes are personal, and it's your life, it's your future.
46
00:07:06,864.64632657 --> 00:07:08,534.64632657
It's not abstract.
47
00:07:08,924.64732657 --> 00:07:15,444.64932657
And I completely understand that, and I truly know that it matters.
48
00:07:15,524.64532657 --> 00:07:16,894.64632657
I really, really get that.
49
00:07:16,924.64732657 --> 00:07:20,194.64832657
It makes sense that it feels heavier.
50
00:07:20,694.64732657 --> 00:07:22,974.64932657
But here's what I do know.
51
00:07:23,634.64632657 --> 00:07:25,464.64632657
The capability is already there.
52
00:07:25,984.64832657 --> 00:07:28,184.64732657
You've proven that a thousand times over.
53
00:07:28,604.64732657 --> 00:07:51,448.64832657
You have proven that you can hold difficult things, and I'm telling you right now, you already have everything that you need to be able to make this decision for yourself It's just a matter of trusting that what's true about your capability at work is also true about your capability in your own life, and that takes time.
54
00:07:51,868.64832657 --> 00:08:00,868.64832657
I know that it takes more time to unlearn something than it does to learn it, and that is completely okay.
55
00:08:01,268.64832657 --> 00:08:09,678.64732657
I have resources for you if you're still in that phase, but this is something that you don't have to do alone.
56
00:08:10,248.64832657 --> 00:08:15,288.64632657
You can book a free Pause Clarity Call with me, and we can walk through it.
57
00:08:15,328.64832657 --> 00:08:22,438.64532657
You can take a look at the decision kit, which gives you the framework for making a decision such as this.
58
00:08:22,988.64832657 --> 00:08:35,288.65132657
I've created a prompt that is a fast-track prompt that you can use with your favorite LLM, Claude or ChatGPT, and see if this will work for you.
59
00:08:35,888.65032657 --> 00:08:39,278.64932657
When I was taking my pause, I looked at my current reality.
60
00:08:39,288.65132657 --> 00:09:00,58.65732657
What was really there? My finances, my risk tolerance, my, energy level, and I identified the things that made sense for me and what I needed to bring into my life and what truly was going to work for me and where I actually wanted to pour my energy into.
61
00:09:00,728.65432657 --> 00:09:14,838.65332657
And then I decided, is now the right time? I believe that I am here to help other people shorten their journeys, and this is a journey that I really wanna help shorten for you.
62
00:09:15,198.65532657 --> 00:09:26,178.65632657
It's a major decision, but I think what-- but I know what I've created for you is going to help you shorten the spiral.
63
00:09:26,568.65032657 --> 00:09:44,978.65032657
It's gonna help you,, really dig into, what is it that I need to do to make this possible for me? And things will start to become more and more clear the more that you actually take this seriously as opposed to being stuck in the information spiral.
64
00:09:45,648.64732657 --> 00:10:13,528.65232657
What is something that you are really proud of that you've done at work? And then I want you to ask yourself, "What skills did I use to do that?" Because those are the same skills that are available to you right now, and if you're ready to point them at your own life, at your own pause, at your own future, that's what I've created all these resources, this podcast, everything for.
65
00:10:13,958.65332657 --> 00:10:15,228.64332657
It's the structure.
66
00:10:15,388.64532657 --> 00:10:21,708.64732657
It's permission to use the best of what you know how to do on the thing that matters the most to you.
67
00:10:22,688.64832657 --> 00:10:24,948.64532657
You've already figured out harder things.
68
00:10:25,338.64232657 --> 00:10:34,782.65232657
You can figure this out, too If this episode resonated, you can explore more reflections on the design paused YouTube channel.
69
00:10:35,262.65232657 --> 00:10:39,972.65232657
Take what you need, leave what you don't, and I'll meet you in the next pause.
