WEBVTT
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Welcome back listeners, and welcome back Josh.
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Hey, I'm also listening to you, so we're all part of one big pool here
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not only are you listening, but you're also talking back to me, so
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Well fair.
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But, that's what the comment section is for, right?
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That true?
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That's
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It's for everybody to talk back to us.
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comment, sus- subscribe.
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Yep.
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Whatever metric exists in the future whenever this gets posted, do that too.
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Rate us on Apple Podcasts and whatnot.
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Yeah
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But yeah and maybe when you do that, you'll be one of our friends one day.
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Is that a transition?
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That's--
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Am I trying to work that?
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be a thing now?
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Is this gonna be...
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i'm liking it.
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It's a new one.
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But to that point, right?
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We both-- we're both working from home,
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Yeah
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right?
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We're both in our mid-30s, right?
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Spoilers.
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Yep
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and one thing that I've found is that working from home is a lot harder to make friends than working from the office.
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And it's lonely.
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lonely
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and it's lonely.
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So high level I feel like a lot of people...
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We're talking about friendship here.
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Something I think we share.
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Hopefully it's not one-sided.
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But, When you're in grade school, right?
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Or a-as a kid, right?
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You might meet kids in school, right?
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You might become friends with them for silly reasons, right?
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Y-you both are sitting next to each other in class, right?
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And then later on you get the same hobbies, right?
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You meet people through different means.
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You find ki- making friends is really easy when growing up.
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Then a lot of people find it's a lot harder in, it's not necessarily hard in college.
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It's just as easy in college for a lot of people, although they have a pseudo fresh start, so that can be hard for some people that they don't have these people that they can rely on.
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But then after that a lot of people struggle and they find it with work, right?
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They find friends with work.
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And I know you've said in the past that you find is that a healthy relationship to have most of your friends come from work?
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Yeah, no.
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G- get I'm gonna pause you for a second'cause there's a couple of things you said that I wanna argue on a little bit, And maybe it's just me, and I can definitely see this different for other people, but at least for me, like I never had an issue making friends in college,
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Yeah
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I never had an issue making friends old way at work.
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But...
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And I'm like trying to think, like I'm really trying to analyze, like in college, why did I have so many friends?
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'Cause I had a lot of friends, but if you know me, you know me, but like for our listeners, for the people who don't know me, I'm not really a social person.
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Would you label me like a social person?
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Yeah, I have a lot of thoughts here.
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Okay.
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Give me the quick dumbed down version.
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Yes or no?
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Gosh, you're right in the middle of socialness.
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You're cer-
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it
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not, you're not a recluse.
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You're not like a total introvert where you're hiding from the world.
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But you're also not going to every event, right?
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And
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you're not you
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type of person that's gonna randomly go up to people I don't know and talk to them.
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That's just
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Sure.
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I
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Right
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do it.
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I can't physically do it.
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like, why did I have friend...
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How did I have friends in college, if that's possible?
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And how did I make friends at work, if that's possible, right?
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And I'm, like, trying to formulate it now as we talk about it, but it's like those people in college, those friends I made, was the same way I made it in work, which was, like, I just am the type of person that throws myself into things.
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Classes.
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I was in, I was a computer engineering in college.
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Those classes were really freaking hard, But I was naturally good at a lot of those classes, and I also like helping other people learn things that I know, because I ha- I like making things less complex and then showing people how tho- that you can make it less complex.
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So I made friends by doing that, right?
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I just helped my college friends through their classes, and we just kinda stayed friends from that.
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and work was the same exact way.
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When I started work, I would be naturally good at work.
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And not only do, was I good at it, but I also liked helping other people through those problems and that's how we became friends, right?
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Yeah
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how a lot of my friends I have I became
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we were also on an adjacent team.
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We were working together.
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You weren't part of some team that was on the other side of the building
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yeah, exactly.
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So to, to your point, you were also, I would say the majority of your work friends were probably on the DevOps team, right?
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Or adjacent.
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Yeah.
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they weren't in marketing, they weren't in SQA.
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They weren't in,
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Actually, no I had a couple friends at SQA.
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Sure sure
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the...
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I didn't limit myself to the just DevOps people.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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I guess when I think of your socialness from my perspective, right?
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So take it from a grain-- with a grain of salt.
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But when I think of your socialness, I think of it as being, you're so focused on your work at work that everybody in your vicinity they're gaining so much from you, right?
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So you, you-- they spend a lot of time with you, and that's really helpful, right?
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To make friends.
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I heard once that making friends is partly, like, experiencing just enough time together,
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Yeah
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Getting boredom and stuff like that.
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You just have to spend so much time to become, quote-unquote, friends.
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And it's not what you do in that time, right?
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It's not like these stories of oh, people, we, went on a giant trip together and we found each other.
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It's literally just how much time do you spend with somebody.
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And at work you're doing the important work and you're doing a lot of it, and people are coming to you with their problems.
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Yeah
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and I think that's going to lead to friendship, right?
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You're spending just a lot of time together
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Yeah.
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And so now fast-forward to today,
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Yeah.
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right?
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And man, I'm, like, I'll be honest with our listeners I'm lonely, man, This is my first fully remote job, but not only is it fully remote, but we're living in the day of AI.
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My day-to-day interaction isn't even remotely interacting with people.
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I'm interacting with AI for a majority of my time.
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To your point, how I...
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me being that type of person where I make thr- friends through spending time with them and helping them through things, I'm not helping a person anymore, I'm helping AI through things.
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And so I don't get that time to build
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Claude is your new best
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them.
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Yeah, is my new best friend, and it's it's,
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Yeah
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you know?
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And it's lonely because As much as I, I am a hermit, I
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No I think even the most introverted among us want some kind of socializing, right?
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They don't want socializing with everybody, right?
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But they want socializing, right?
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They want socializing maybe with a very limited set of friends, and maybe with people that really have meaningful conversations and not just talking about the weather, right?
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There, there's all types of people out there, but
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can I pause you for a second?
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That's one thing I have such a frustration with, and I know I'm not a common person, but I hate small talk, dude.
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I, if I can't have a meaningful conversation with you, why are we wasting our time?
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so much better things to do
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see, I never see it that way, right?
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Now, mind you I probably am one of those people who starts engaging in small talk.
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Why though?
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It's not because I actually care about the weather, right?
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Now you say,"Oh so it's a pointless conversation?" No.
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It's a leap off, right?
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It's a starting point,
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Okay
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When you start
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leap off from the weather?
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The point of small talk is for it to become big talk, right?
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The point of
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hoping
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talk- Yes.
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Yeah because a lot of people, it's off-putting to be like my grandfather died today, and I've been thinking about should people, actually wallow in their grief, or should they, overcome it and focus on the next task ahead of them?" Most people, that's a good discussion
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Yeah,
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that a lot of people have a lot of thoughts about, but you don't start with it because there's a lot of people that are like, whoa.
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You're...
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This is too much to start with," right?
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Josh, I
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think it's like-
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you to know that you're the reason why the executive assistant at my child's daycare is probably gonna hate me now.
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'Cause the next time he asks me or says,"Yeah, the weather out there is really bad," I'm gonna respond to him,"Yeah, when I'm contemplating how we're slowly dying to death.
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How do, what are your thoughts on that?"
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Yes.
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No,
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when he
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I
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me like I'm a weirdo, I have nobody but you to blame.
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Okay, like that's definitely an escalation.
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But I think when you have small talk, you are like opening the door.
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You know that metaphor about like the water, the frog in the boiling water, right?
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Yeah
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If the frog jumped into the boiling water, it would jump right out.
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But when it's, when it c- jumps in and then it's like slowly heating up, it doesn't necessarily know Out.
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so now you're saying you need to trap people into conversations with you is what you're...
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is that...
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if I'm anal- if I'm following your analogy,
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Gosh, maybe
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way
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No
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for people, so you have to start small then segue.
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You know what?
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I really, I'm not thinking of this as like a, a combative kind of relationship but yes, arguably.
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The, the point is I'm trying to trap them.
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Yeah, because basically you start with a conversation that's mundane, like how is the weather, right?
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And then maybe you get a hint of oh like maybe you figured out some new information about them because they said that they were, that's why they decided to take the car today instead of walking, right?
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Yeah
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And then you say,"Oh," you can use this to get into like a deeper conversation.
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"Oh, which do you prefer?" Do you hate like the rain because of this, and stuff like this.
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I just think that the, the small talk can be a way to actually trick people into having a better conversation.
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Yeah.
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so I don't think of it as trickery.
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I think-
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I think...
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I actually think you're onto something, and maybe that's why it's hard for me to make friends.
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Maybe that, that's...
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Maybe that's one thing I need to do.
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I gotta, I
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I'm gonna take-- I'm gonna separate these two things though.
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I'm gonna separate
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into conversations
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these a little bit because yes, that will increase the amount of time that you spend with a person, and usually that time that increases, as long as it's not in a way that makes the other person angry with you, is going to I don't know to use like a video game metaphor, it's gonna increase your friendship points, right?
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You're gonna slowly build up that gauge.
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Yeah
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but the thing that really matters is spending a lot of times these small talks, even if they become big talks, they're gonna last like 20, 30 minutes, right?
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And the truth is, to make like friends, you really need like hours and hours, right?
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And I think that only really happens when you say,"Hey," y- you make a big leap and you say,
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You
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"Hey, y- you wanna hang out after work?"
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Yeah
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"Hey, I have
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reminds me
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like-"
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that Bluey, that Bluey episode.
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Do you watch Bluey?
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I've watched some Bluey, yeah.
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Bluey's great.
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I'm a big fan
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th did you watch the episode where Bandit takes Bl- Bing- is it Bingo or Blue?
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Bluey to the playground and they run into the other dad and kid, at the playground?
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Have you seen that episode?
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I don't know if I have
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Oh, it's so funny because Bluey's after the first day, Bluey's like,"Oh, are you best friends with him?" And Bandit's like,"No." And she's"Why not?" And he's like I just met him." How long does it take to become friends?" I don't know." And it's just it kinda reminds me of what you're talking about, where it's like it-- But it gets back to your actual thing that you were saying at the beginning of the episode where as kids, you meet somebody for the first time and you're like,"Oh, you're my best friend now." Versus now what you're saying is, as adults, and you're right, it takes way longer to classify someone as an acquaintance to friend and then to best friend,
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when you're a kid too, like that meeting with somebody and you've spent 20 minutes with them, that is an incredible amount of part, like a, a chunk of your life.
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Oh, I see.
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That is, as an adult,
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it depends
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like...
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you've been living.
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It's like
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Exactly.
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When that kid made a best friend after spending three hours with them, that's you actually spending five different yeah like spending a, a significant amount of time with somebody else.
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I don't like what you're proposing though, because that means as you get older it's harder to make friends because you now need to spend an exponential amount more time with an acquaintance just to become a friend.
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So what?
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When Years old, I might as well give up because the amount of time I have to spend with the person to become a friend is probably doesn't equal the how many years I have left?
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That they're gonna die before you actually become friends with them.
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Yeah, we can,
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conversation.
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We can talk about that.
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But, but a little bit, right?
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It does matter the amount of time that you spend, right?
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And, I do think genuinely that part of that time that's spent is, the, the hard thing about the, the work from home situation is that it's not really-- you're not really gaining any points by having a Slack conversation, right?
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You actually need-- Like Zoom is, Zoom/a Slack video call is better than the text thing, but the text really does not do anything for your friendship, right?
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I think that personally, right?
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What actually matters is having conversation, right?
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Talking to them.
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But what even matters more is getting, like, all this other stuff out of the way and spending time with that person.
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And sometimes, work facilitates this, right?
00:15:20.922 --> 00:15:28.152
A lot of friends that I have from my past company were because we did stuff outside of work, right?
00:15:28.611 --> 00:15:29.991
Yeah, we did work together.
00:15:29.991 --> 00:15:31.971
We spent a lot of time at work together.
00:15:32.331 --> 00:15:36.601
But the w- reason we became friends was because we went on walks together.
00:15:36.601 --> 00:15:38.201
We went on hikes, right?
00:15:38.201 --> 00:15:42.652
We spent the weekends, doing some interesting activity.
00:15:43.251 --> 00:15:45.211
That's what helped us become friends.
00:15:45.782 --> 00:15:55.682
And, honestly this year, I've spent time with people from high school, people from college, people from past work.
00:15:56.381 --> 00:16:02.971
The, the truth is I- it's-- this is a funny conversation for me because I'm not really looking to have more friends.
00:16:03.642 --> 00:16:15.831
With, with kids, I feel like between the hobbies I have and my kids and the friends that I already have from my past that's more than enough work.
00:16:16.432 --> 00:16:16.621
I,
00:16:16.830 --> 00:16:17.159
Yeah
00:16:17.402 --> 00:16:19.371
to maintain all those relationships.
00:16:19.822 --> 00:16:28.951
So even though work right now, I'm not really making any new friends it's not a really big deal because I already have all those other friends,
00:16:29.548 --> 00:16:29.717
Yeah.
00:16:30.672 --> 00:16:31.412
is how I see it.
00:16:31.498 --> 00:16:44.057
that's I and that's also really hard for people like me because things happened in the past, and now I'm not as close with all of my friends that I was really close with, right?
00:16:44.360 --> 00:16:44.409
Yeah
00:16:44.597 --> 00:16:51.937
And so I don't really have close relationships with people that I could have deep conversations with.
00:16:52.673 --> 00:16:58.894
That's the thing is it's also weird because I also find it hard to have conversations with a lot of people, too.
00:16:59.683 --> 00:17:08.864
I'll try to have conversations with people I just meet, but I'll try to ta- so I'll, I will try to do small talk, but I don't do small talk like the weather.
00:17:09.703 --> 00:17:11.903
my thing is I wanna know about you.
00:17:12.333 --> 00:17:21.314
So I'll ask"Okay what hobbies do you have?" But most of the time when I ask questions like that to people are just like,"Oh, no, I don't have any hobbies." And I'm like,"Oh, okay.
00:17:21.958 --> 00:17:22.327
This
00:17:22.413 --> 00:17:28.423
What do you do, what do you do in your free time?""Oh, I just watch TV." I was like,"Oh, okay.
00:17:28.423 --> 00:17:32.673
Do you watch, Are there any TV shows you're watching?""Not really.""All right.
00:17:32.673 --> 00:17:34.723
I guess we're not having a conversation anymore."
00:17:35.948 --> 00:17:36.218
Yeah.
00:17:36.288 --> 00:17:36.597
Yeah.
00:17:36.657 --> 00:17:46.961
A lot of-- I think these, these conversations too, there's so much to like the art of conversation You're trying to suss out does the actual-- does the person actually wanna talk right now?
00:17:47.049 --> 00:17:47.460
Yeah.
00:17:47.662 --> 00:17:49.981
sometimes people don't wanna talk, right?
00:17:50.432 --> 00:17:54.872
We have like at my the, my daughter's daycare, right?
00:17:55.582 --> 00:17:58.592
I d- I don't think this is private or anything like this, right?
00:17:58.652 --> 00:18:10.211
But like there are people who m- who are at the front desk, and nine times out of 10 they want like you, you can have a conversation and it's great, right?
00:18:10.561 --> 00:18:12.922
That this is like a fun way to start your day.
00:18:12.922 --> 00:18:16.612
You talk to them, they have some interesting thing to say, right?
00:18:16.612 --> 00:18:17.991
We back and forth.
00:18:18.301 --> 00:18:19.471
It's a fun way to start the day.
00:18:19.721 --> 00:18:24.031
But sometimes you talk and they're clearly focused on something else and you're like,"Okay,
00:18:24.046 --> 00:18:26.316
Yeah, yeah.
00:18:26.402 --> 00:18:34.251
Dude it's crazy how different our lives are because I go to drop my kid off, and they wanna talk to me, and I'm like,"Please don't talk to me.
00:18:34.251 --> 00:18:36.412
I just wanna drop my kid off and go to work."
00:18:37.213 --> 00:18:39.693
They might be willing to talk to you about some deep stuff
00:18:39.771 --> 00:18:42.461
potential best friend, and I'm turning them away,
00:18:43.019 --> 00:18:43.660
Honestly?
00:18:44.109 --> 00:18:44.779
Honestly
00:18:44.801 --> 00:18:46.132
We ta- we talked about this.
00:18:46.432 --> 00:18:47.991
That's an older episode, too.
00:18:48.011 --> 00:18:48.281
You...
00:18:48.332 --> 00:18:50.372
Everybody-- That was a quote from you.
00:18:50.682 --> 00:18:53.832
You said everybody you meet can be a potential...
00:18:54.082 --> 00:18:55.142
I forgot how you put it.
00:18:55.142 --> 00:18:57.612
It's like a potential future best friend or something
00:18:57.730 --> 00:18:57.829
Yeah.
00:18:57.880 --> 00:18:58.789
You don't know.
00:18:58.839 --> 00:18:59.589
You don't know.
00:18:59.589 --> 00:19:06.819
And I think that's why engaging even with a small talk is just opening yourself up to that possibility that they're there.
00:19:07.230 --> 00:19:20.089
I, you said something in the past, I don't know if it was, not during this episode necessarily, but about going to a coffee shop and opening up a book and"Maybe somebody will talk to me." And it's like,
00:19:20.627 --> 00:19:20.968
Yeah.
00:19:21.230 --> 00:19:22.400
that's so passive.
00:19:22.640 --> 00:19:23.700
That's so passive.
00:19:23.807 --> 00:19:24.107
that,
00:19:24.230 --> 00:19:24.500
Like-
00:19:24.698 --> 00:19:28.907
was, that was a message I actually sent to you to pitch this episode.
00:19:29.304 --> 00:19:29.693
Yeah.
00:19:29.958 --> 00:19:30.528
yeah no.
00:19:30.834 --> 00:19:31.193
But
00:19:31.238 --> 00:19:32.407
I, and I this, the...
00:19:32.448 --> 00:19:34.097
But that's a good idea, right?
00:19:34.228 --> 00:19:35.657
And I understand what you're saying.
00:19:36.067 --> 00:19:40.988
It's not gonna be definite, a definite way to get people to sit, to say anything to me.
00:19:41.678 --> 00:19:43.847
And, let's fill in our audience members.
00:19:43.887 --> 00:19:50.627
So how I pitched this episode to you that I can almost be like a, a week...
00:19:50.837 --> 00:20:08.051
The idea would be that we brainstorm a bunch of different ideas of how somebody could make friends, Then I will do an ep- video episodes of me trying those things out and seeing, and we can even rate them to see how how good they were at making friends.
00:20:08.102 --> 00:20:09.852
And I, I've thought about it a little bit more.
00:20:10.162 --> 00:20:23.951
We could create an Instagram account where I'll do shorts on it, and then afterwards we can do follow-up episodes or podcasts where we, we look at those and we review was it actually, is it actually a good idea?
00:20:24.201 --> 00:20:37.162
And maybe this can be helpful for our listeners because, hopefully our demographic of listeners is people in our same problem that we're having, and maybe some of them are like you, who don't have time for friends right now.
00:20:37.182 --> 00:20:39.491
You have enough friends and then you have your family.
00:20:39.781 --> 00:20:49.662
But maybe there are some people out there like me, who are having a hard time in this new world of who is open for a new friend and just doesn't have the, a good way to
00:20:49.693 --> 00:20:49.844
Yeah.
00:20:49.844 --> 00:20:54.784
I think there are certainly a lot of methods, and I think a lot of people handle this differently, right?
00:20:55.423 --> 00:20:55.693
Yeah
00:20:55.776 --> 00:21:00.036
only thing that I would just, want to make an impression of, right?
00:21:00.276 --> 00:21:10.748
The The one thing, the one takeaway that I want you to have, I think, is that making friends is a process that's active, right?
00:21:11.178 --> 00:21:12.708
It's not passive, right?
00:21:12.768 --> 00:21:15.347
You need to spend time with other people.
00:21:16.261 --> 00:21:16.622
Yeah
00:21:16.738 --> 00:21:19.948
doesn't mean that you have to make time with everybody, right?
00:21:20.377 --> 00:21:25.387
But that you have to open yourself up to the possibility that you're, you might spend time with other people.
00:21:26.157 --> 00:21:30.538
And honestly don't wait for other people.
00:21:30.548 --> 00:21:32.327
I know some people would, right?
00:21:32.605 --> 00:21:33.955
Because that's better than nothing, right?
00:21:33.955 --> 00:21:36.665
Putting yourself out there takes effort.
00:21:37.526 --> 00:21:37.865
Yeah
00:21:38.096 --> 00:21:38.925
It's not easy.
00:21:40.155 --> 00:21:52.596
But the most consistent way to make friends is actually just to go and spend a lot of time with other people and then offer,"Hey, you wanna go on a hike this weekend?
00:21:52.596 --> 00:21:57.736
Do you wanna go and do this?" Figure out what the person likes and and-
00:21:57.852 --> 00:21:59.021
hiking, so I'm not doing that
00:22:00.115 --> 00:22:00.726
Yeah.
00:22:00.875 --> 00:22:01.566
Yeah.
00:22:01.586 --> 00:22:05.556
But inviting them to your child's birthday party or
00:22:07.016 --> 00:22:08.266
Then I'm too busy hosting.
00:22:08.266 --> 00:22:09.645
I can't actually hang out with them
00:22:10.276 --> 00:22:10.776
Okay.
00:22:10.776 --> 00:22:11.826
I don't know you.
00:22:12.155 --> 00:22:13.016
You do know me.
00:22:13.026 --> 00:22:16.675
It's not like we, you're some random person I just met on the street.
00:22:17.435 --> 00:22:18.226
Geez,
00:22:18.395 --> 00:22:19.236
Who, who are you
00:22:19.645 --> 00:22:20.546
so fast.
00:22:20.546 --> 00:22:21.105
I didn't know you were
00:22:21.415 --> 00:22:21.455
again?
00:22:21.506 --> 00:22:21.705
By
00:22:21.986 --> 00:22:22.715
Jesus.
00:22:22.875 --> 00:22:23.125
No.
00:22:23.125 --> 00:22:23.415
Okay.
00:22:23.465 --> 00:22:25.165
So stop dancing around the bush here.
00:22:25.476 --> 00:22:27.105
So you're saying that me...
00:22:27.286 --> 00:22:32.266
So one of the ideas I came up with was going and reading a book in a public location.
00:22:32.965 --> 00:22:34.465
n- now here's the thing.
00:22:34.546 --> 00:22:35.766
Not, do I agree with you?
00:22:35.766 --> 00:22:36.105
Yes.
00:22:36.175 --> 00:22:39.586
I- is it a, a diehard way to get a friend?
00:22:39.635 --> 00:22:40.576
No, definitely not.
00:22:40.705 --> 00:22:42.576
But the thing, those...
00:22:42.715 --> 00:22:44.925
And this is why I came up with that, that idea.
00:22:45.246 --> 00:22:54.256
One thing I realized on why it is it's hard for me to make friends is it's hard for me, for people to see me, right?
00:22:54.645 --> 00:23:15.655
If I'm spending most of my time in my house from working from there, then eating lunch here, and then the only time I actually see people physically at this point during the day, during the week, is I either go and pick up my kid from daycare and they see me there, or we go to a restaurant and the waiter sees me, right?
00:23:15.996 --> 00:23:20.586
There's no situation in a social way where I see people.
00:23:20.935 --> 00:23:34.175
And so my thought process is you go to a coffee shop, you go to a bookstore, Barnes Noble, you go somewhere where people are also going aren't forced to be there because they're working there.
00:23:34.195 --> 00:23:36.076
There are, but there's other people that aren't.
00:23:36.925 --> 00:23:46.665
And as long as you're in those situations, let's say I'm just sitting there reading a book, maybe I'm reading a book that someone else is like, hasn't read yet, they might come talk to me and we actually...
00:23:46.715 --> 00:23:49.935
And then we have something to actually talk about because it's a book I'm reading.
00:23:50.306 --> 00:23:53.796
And so obviously we have some common interest if they
00:23:53.864 --> 00:23:54.034
And
00:23:54.105 --> 00:23:54.615
read it and
00:23:54.784 --> 00:24:05.253
I think this is a good idea but I would also then go and say,"Hey, when you see somebody else reading a book, Go and talk to them," right?
00:24:05.433 --> 00:24:07.394
Don't just sit there and, be like
00:24:07.569 --> 00:24:08.559
don't wanna talk to you?
00:24:08.569 --> 00:24:12.589
What if they're there to be alone and now you're disturbing them?
00:24:12.589 --> 00:24:13.099
I don't know
00:24:13.663 --> 00:24:13.933
No.
00:24:13.953 --> 00:24:17.134
It's reading the room and then deciding do they actually...
00:24:17.534 --> 00:24:24.523
going up and being like,"Oh, do you like that book?" And be like,"Oh, it's pretty good." And then they kinda look back to the book, don't talk to them anymore.
00:24:24.907 --> 00:24:25.248
Yeah.
00:24:25.397 --> 00:24:25.698
Yeah.
00:24:25.894 --> 00:24:26.794
They've basically said...
00:24:26.804 --> 00:24:31.384
A lot of people have this fear that they're gonna totally ruin the conversation, right?
00:24:31.653 --> 00:24:32.864
Totally interrupt somebody.
00:24:33.903 --> 00:24:36.743
Often that final, that saying one sentence
00:24:36.824 --> 00:24:38.294
Yeah, that's true
00:24:38.496 --> 00:24:39.986
Is inconsequential.
00:24:40.486 --> 00:24:47.983
Now, if you keep pestering them and they don't wanna talk to you, they keep looking back to their book, That's where you're being a problem, right?
00:24:48.208 --> 00:24:48.708
Yeah
00:24:49.253 --> 00:24:52.034
I would just say, again just be intentional.
00:24:52.134 --> 00:24:54.384
Yes, it's good to go to a coffee shop.
00:24:54.604 --> 00:24:55.983
That's way better than your house.
00:24:56.193 --> 00:25:00.144
You'll never meet people except the people you invite to your house, at your house, right?
00:25:00.175 --> 00:25:00.816
exactly.
00:25:01.076 --> 00:25:05.405
If I'm sitting there just reading books in my house, I'm not gonna ever run into another person
00:25:05.665 --> 00:25:05.925
Yeah.
00:25:05.925 --> 00:25:08.625
If you work from home, like it's the hardest...
00:25:08.875 --> 00:25:12.236
you really need to get out of your home if you wanna meet people, right?
00:25:12.925 --> 00:25:14.875
But when you actually do get out...
00:25:14.930 --> 00:25:16.420
okay, so here's another idea,
00:25:16.596 --> 00:25:16.895
Yeah
00:25:17.240 --> 00:25:25.809
You keep talking about doing things with people, and so this was another suggestion, which is go join a exercise group,
00:25:26.400 --> 00:25:26.720
Yep
00:25:27.490 --> 00:25:28.809
Class or,
00:25:29.307 --> 00:25:29.928
A, a meter,
00:25:29.960 --> 00:25:30.450
a row
00:25:30.577 --> 00:25:30.788
right?
00:25:31.009 --> 00:25:31.690
or some...
00:25:31.730 --> 00:25:32.200
Yeah.
00:25:32.849 --> 00:25:33.220
Yeah.
00:25:33.269 --> 00:25:33.569
That's a...
00:25:33.619 --> 00:25:34.950
There's not meetups
00:25:35.433 --> 00:25:35.993
There are.
00:25:36.170 --> 00:25:37.329
exercising.
00:25:38.329 --> 00:25:38.670
there?
00:25:38.700 --> 00:25:39.289
I don't know.
00:25:39.551 --> 00:25:39.852
Maybe,
00:25:39.913 --> 00:25:41.284
so there's so many different...
00:25:41.491 --> 00:25:41.971
a meetup
00:25:42.743 --> 00:25:45.483
But let's say you wanna learn Japanese, right?
00:25:46.114 --> 00:25:47.503
As a hypothetical, right?
00:25:47.753 --> 00:25:49.253
You wanna learn a language, right?
00:25:49.554 --> 00:25:53.933
You go and like actually go to a class, right?
00:25:54.511 --> 00:25:55.951
You meet other people, right?
00:25:55.991 --> 00:25:58.132
People that have this same interest, right?
00:25:58.142 --> 00:26:00.362
For many totally different reasons, right?
00:26:00.634 --> 00:26:01.023
Yeah
00:26:01.761 --> 00:26:03.912
There's things for like your kids, right?
00:26:04.392 --> 00:26:08.551
You, your, your kid is, taking an interest in dance, right?
00:26:08.561 --> 00:26:10.521
Maybe you go and give them dance lessons.
00:26:10.521 --> 00:26:12.392
You talk to the other parents, right?
00:26:13.173 --> 00:26:16.594
Like let's say you met a famous person, right?
00:26:17.112 --> 00:26:17.571
Yeah
00:26:17.693 --> 00:26:21.854
The way that I think of it is like they're still a person at the end of the day, right?
00:26:22.097 --> 00:26:22.278
but
00:26:22.334 --> 00:26:22.354
may
00:26:22.397 --> 00:26:22.607
you can
00:26:22.703 --> 00:26:22.864
have
00:26:23.167 --> 00:26:23.518
is
00:26:23.523 --> 00:26:24.354
some skill
00:26:24.988 --> 00:26:28.798
just blurting quotes at them from their famous movie.
00:26:28.948 --> 00:26:30.887
And they don't want that, right?
00:26:30.917 --> 00:26:32.678
They get that all the time, right?
00:26:32.708 --> 00:26:33.117
Yeah,
00:26:33.528 --> 00:26:35.278
The more normal conversation.
00:26:35.478 --> 00:26:40.748
Be- being aware that this is not a high stakes conversation is always the important thing, right?
00:26:40.867 --> 00:26:44.278
Every conversation that you have is pretty low stakes, right?
00:26:44.988 --> 00:26:52.278
Let's say you meet somebody, like literally, yeah, you meet Keanu Reeves, in the line of a coffee shop, right?
00:26:52.683 --> 00:26:52.983
Yeah
00:26:53.327 --> 00:26:57.097
Like asking him what he's gonna order is
00:26:57.147 --> 00:26:57.417
yeah
00:26:57.473 --> 00:27:02.304
What do you recommend here?" It doesn't need to be anything about anything they've done before, right?
00:27:03.105 --> 00:27:05.365
Does this cafe actually exist?
00:27:06.365 --> 00:27:07.016
I don't know.
00:27:07.036 --> 00:27:08.046
I don't know.
00:27:09.046 --> 00:27:09.296
That's a
00:27:09.403 --> 00:27:10.193
may- maybe it's...
00:27:11.193 --> 00:27:14.294
If y- if you go and say that to him, he's gonna be...
00:27:15.574 --> 00:27:16.203
I don't know.
00:27:16.243 --> 00:27:19.433
I've heard he's a pretty chill guy, but who knows?
00:27:19.443 --> 00:27:20.324
Who knows?
00:27:21.622 --> 00:27:22.041
Okay.
00:27:22.503 --> 00:27:22.953
Yeah.
00:27:23.013 --> 00:27:23.134
I
00:27:23.211 --> 00:27:23.311
all
00:27:23.443 --> 00:27:23.473
don't
00:27:23.481 --> 00:27:26.541
So I think the, this episode's, we're already 33 minutes in.
00:27:26.761 --> 00:27:35.481
We talked about a real- a lot of really good stuff, but I think next episode or next time, we need to spitball some ideas for me to do.
00:27:35.731 --> 00:27:36.771
I'll go and do them.
00:27:36.801 --> 00:27:46.402
Like I said, we can record it, and then I'll throw it on Instagram or something, and then we can come back and, maybe review it and be like,"Okay, was that actually useful or not?
00:27:46.541 --> 00:27:53.882
Can you make friends?" maybe we can help our, help me make friends, and maybe we can help our audience members as well.
00:27:54.882 --> 00:27:55.382
Sounds good.
00:27:55.566 --> 00:27:55.655
You
00:27:55.771 --> 00:27:56.392
like that idea.
00:27:56.811 --> 00:27:57.251
Let's do it
00:27:57.306 --> 00:27:57.576
No.
00:27:58.355 --> 00:27:58.695
right.
00:27:59.806 --> 00:28:15.395
All right I like I said, I, the, I think the other thing to end this episode, I think it's hard for me to come up with conversations with other people, but for some reason, me and you can ramble on for 35 minutes and no problem at all.
00:28:15.395 --> 00:28:16.766
Make it make sense, Josh.
00:28:16.766 --> 00:28:17.006
I
00:28:17.387 --> 00:28:20.968
We, we can ramble on for a lot longer than 35 minutes, I'll tell you that much
00:28:20.976 --> 00:28:23.935
deep conversation, and I care deeply about it.
00:28:23.955 --> 00:28:28.365
This is just, this is just the k- conversation I want with the guy that's making my coffee too.
00:28:28.365 --> 00:28:29.185
Is that so much to
00:28:29.653 --> 00:28:30.473
You can do it.
00:28:30.503 --> 00:28:31.344
You can do it.
00:28:31.344 --> 00:28:32.023
You just gotta,
00:28:33.153 --> 00:28:33.723
yeah.
00:28:34.814 --> 00:28:35.263
All right.
00:28:35.354 --> 00:28:37.384
On that note, I think we'll end it here.
00:28:38.384 --> 00:28:38.874
Good luck.
00:28:39.314 --> 00:28:40.173
We're all counting on you.
00:28:41.145 --> 00:28:41.496
I'll try.
00:00:14.038 --> 00:00:18.167
Welcome back listeners, and welcome back Josh.
00:00:18.437 --> 00:00:22.667
Hey, I'm also listening to you, so we're all part of one big pool here
00:00:23.147 --> 00:00:26.088
not only are you listening, but you're also talking back to me, so
00:00:26.821 --> 00:00:27.402
Well fair.
00:00:27.481 --> 00:00:29.602
But, that's what the comment section is for, right?
00:00:29.702 --> 00:00:30.181
That true?
00:00:30.382 --> 00:00:30.422
That's
00:00:30.466 --> 00:00:32.106
It's for everybody to talk back to us.
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comment, sus- subscribe.
00:00:34.286 --> 00:00:34.606
Yep.
00:00:35.015 --> 00:00:39.426
Whatever metric exists in the future whenever this gets posted, do that too.
00:00:39.885 --> 00:00:42.405
Rate us on Apple Podcasts and whatnot.
00:00:42.409 --> 00:00:42.700
Yeah
00:00:42.805 --> 00:00:47.265
But yeah and maybe when you do that, you'll be one of our friends one day.
00:00:47.276 --> 00:00:48.456
Is that a transition?
00:00:48.844 --> 00:00:49.414
That's--
00:00:50.414 --> 00:00:50.914
Am I trying to work that?
00:00:50.932 --> 00:00:51.731
be a thing now?
00:00:51.752 --> 00:00:52.671
Is this gonna be...
00:00:52.722 --> 00:00:53.362
i'm liking it.
00:00:53.362 --> 00:00:53.911
It's a new one.
00:00:54.462 --> 00:00:56.101
But to that point, right?
00:00:56.231 --> 00:00:58.902
We both-- we're both working from home,
00:00:59.317 --> 00:00:59.637
Yeah
00:00:59.851 --> 00:01:00.311
right?
00:01:00.712 --> 00:01:03.351
We're both in our mid-30s, right?
00:01:03.392 --> 00:01:04.222
Spoilers.
00:01:04.956 --> 00:01:05.235
Yep
00:01:06.235 --> 00:01:15.605
and one thing that I've found is that working from home is a lot harder to make friends than working from the office.
00:01:16.168 --> 00:01:17.037
And it's lonely.
00:01:17.888 --> 00:01:18.298
lonely
00:01:18.555 --> 00:01:19.656
and it's lonely.
00:01:19.756 --> 00:01:23.885
So high level I feel like a lot of people...
00:01:24.335 --> 00:01:25.495
We're talking about friendship here.
00:01:26.945 --> 00:01:28.335
Something I think we share.
00:01:28.745 --> 00:01:30.475
Hopefully it's not one-sided.
00:01:30.585 --> 00:01:33.438
But, When you're in grade school, right?
00:01:33.438 --> 00:01:35.537
Or a-as a kid, right?
00:01:35.617 --> 00:01:38.078
You might meet kids in school, right?
00:01:38.287 --> 00:01:41.328
You might become friends with them for silly reasons, right?
00:01:41.328 --> 00:01:44.278
Y-you both are sitting next to each other in class, right?
00:01:44.730 --> 00:01:48.609
And then later on you get the same hobbies, right?
00:01:48.629 --> 00:01:50.359
You meet people through different means.
00:01:50.930 --> 00:01:54.099
You find ki- making friends is really easy when growing up.
00:01:54.750 --> 00:01:59.500
Then a lot of people find it's a lot harder in, it's not necessarily hard in college.
00:01:59.500 --> 00:02:09.620
It's just as easy in college for a lot of people, although they have a pseudo fresh start, so that can be hard for some people that they don't have these people that they can rely on.
00:02:10.250 --> 00:02:14.009
But then after that a lot of people struggle and they find it with work, right?
00:02:14.170 --> 00:02:15.280
They find friends with work.
00:02:15.290 --> 00:02:21.000
And I know you've said in the past that you find is that a healthy relationship to have most of your friends come from work?
00:02:21.770 --> 00:02:22.419
Yeah, no.
00:02:22.849 --> 00:02:37.147
G- get I'm gonna pause you for a second'cause there's a couple of things you said that I wanna argue on a little bit, And maybe it's just me, and I can definitely see this different for other people, but at least for me, like I never had an issue making friends in college,
00:02:37.704 --> 00:02:37.933
Yeah
00:02:38.288 --> 00:02:42.707
I never had an issue making friends old way at work.
00:02:44.147 --> 00:02:44.647
But...
00:02:45.237 --> 00:02:52.228
And I'm like trying to think, like I'm really trying to analyze, like in college, why did I have so many friends?
00:02:52.578 --> 00:03:00.777
'Cause I had a lot of friends, but if you know me, you know me, but like for our listeners, for the people who don't know me, I'm not really a social person.
00:03:00.777 --> 00:03:03.168
Would you label me like a social person?
00:03:04.340 --> 00:03:06.639
Yeah, I have a lot of thoughts here.
00:03:06.979 --> 00:03:07.240
Okay.
00:03:07.270 --> 00:03:08.930
Give me the quick dumbed down version.
00:03:08.949 --> 00:03:09.939
Yes or no?
00:03:10.659 --> 00:03:13.199
Gosh, you're right in the middle of socialness.
00:03:13.860 --> 00:03:14.360
You're cer-
00:03:14.568 --> 00:03:14.888
it
00:03:15.020 --> 00:03:17.280
not, you're not a recluse.
00:03:17.409 --> 00:03:22.050
You're not like a total introvert where you're hiding from the world.
00:03:22.629 --> 00:03:27.150
But you're also not going to every event, right?
00:03:27.566 --> 00:03:27.675
And
00:03:27.740 --> 00:03:28.210
you're not you
00:03:28.316 --> 00:03:32.376
type of person that's gonna randomly go up to people I don't know and talk to them.
00:03:32.966 --> 00:03:33.336
That's just
00:03:33.506 --> 00:03:33.746
Sure.
00:03:34.026 --> 00:03:34.116
I
00:03:34.366 --> 00:03:34.725
Right
00:03:35.026 --> 00:03:35.425
do it.
00:03:35.455 --> 00:03:36.746
I can't physically do it.
00:03:37.705 --> 00:03:39.605
like, why did I have friend...
00:03:39.605 --> 00:03:41.936
How did I have friends in college, if that's possible?
00:03:41.936 --> 00:03:45.376
And how did I make friends at work, if that's possible, right?
00:03:46.235 --> 00:04:01.895
And I'm, like, trying to formulate it now as we talk about it, but it's like those people in college, those friends I made, was the same way I made it in work, which was, like, I just am the type of person that throws myself into things.
00:04:02.256 --> 00:04:03.075
Classes.
00:04:03.496 --> 00:04:06.545
I was in, I was a computer engineering in college.
00:04:06.776 --> 00:04:24.220
Those classes were really freaking hard, But I was naturally good at a lot of those classes, and I also like helping other people learn things that I know, because I ha- I like making things less complex and then showing people how tho- that you can make it less complex.
00:04:24.620 --> 00:04:26.860
So I made friends by doing that, right?
00:04:26.909 --> 00:04:33.449
I just helped my college friends through their classes, and we just kinda stayed friends from that.
00:04:34.560 --> 00:04:36.500
and work was the same exact way.
00:04:36.879 --> 00:04:39.439
When I started work, I would be naturally good at work.
00:04:39.759 --> 00:04:46.920
And not only do, was I good at it, but I also liked helping other people through those problems and that's how we became friends, right?
00:04:47.336 --> 00:04:47.685
Yeah
00:04:47.709 --> 00:04:50.060
how a lot of my friends I have I became
00:04:50.064 --> 00:04:52.334
we were also on an adjacent team.
00:04:52.374 --> 00:04:53.624
We were working together.
00:04:53.704 --> 00:04:57.584
You weren't part of some team that was on the other side of the building
00:04:57.634 --> 00:04:58.403
yeah, exactly.
00:04:58.524 --> 00:05:05.954
So to, to your point, you were also, I would say the majority of your work friends were probably on the DevOps team, right?
00:05:06.384 --> 00:05:06.923
Or adjacent.
00:05:07.038 --> 00:05:07.317
Yeah.
00:05:07.983 --> 00:05:11.574
they weren't in marketing, they weren't in SQA.
00:05:11.913 --> 00:05:12.774
They weren't in,
00:05:13.548 --> 00:05:15.548
Actually, no I had a couple friends at SQA.
00:05:16.136 --> 00:05:17.148
Sure sure
00:05:17.600 --> 00:05:17.819
the...
00:05:17.899 --> 00:05:21.939
I didn't limit myself to the just DevOps people.
00:05:22.505 --> 00:05:22.915
Yeah.
00:05:23.036 --> 00:05:23.286
Yeah.
00:05:23.295 --> 00:05:27.295
I guess when I think of your socialness from my perspective, right?
00:05:27.295 --> 00:05:29.286
So take it from a grain-- with a grain of salt.
00:05:29.346 --> 00:05:41.696
But when I think of your socialness, I think of it as being, you're so focused on your work at work that everybody in your vicinity they're gaining so much from you, right?
00:05:42.115 --> 00:05:45.516
So you, you-- they spend a lot of time with you, and that's really helpful, right?
00:05:45.526 --> 00:05:46.245
To make friends.
00:05:46.625 --> 00:05:54.105
I heard once that making friends is partly, like, experiencing just enough time together,
00:05:54.533 --> 00:05:54.884
Yeah
00:05:54.985 --> 00:05:56.505
Getting boredom and stuff like that.
00:05:56.505 --> 00:06:01.216
You just have to spend so much time to become, quote-unquote, friends.
00:06:01.742 --> 00:06:04.271
And it's not what you do in that time, right?
00:06:04.302 --> 00:06:11.132
It's not like these stories of oh, people, we, went on a giant trip together and we found each other.
00:06:11.132 --> 00:06:14.742
It's literally just how much time do you spend with somebody.
00:06:15.851 --> 00:06:22.911
And at work you're doing the important work and you're doing a lot of it, and people are coming to you with their problems.
00:06:23.668 --> 00:06:23.918
Yeah
00:06:24.521 --> 00:06:28.492
and I think that's going to lead to friendship, right?
00:06:28.552 --> 00:06:30.541
You're spending just a lot of time together
00:06:31.672 --> 00:06:31.932
Yeah.
00:06:33.002 --> 00:06:35.322
And so now fast-forward to today,
00:06:35.598 --> 00:06:35.978
Yeah.
00:06:36.312 --> 00:06:36.992
right?
00:06:38.012 --> 00:06:51.415
And man, I'm, like, I'll be honest with our listeners I'm lonely, man, This is my first fully remote job, but not only is it fully remote, but we're living in the day of AI.
00:06:52.115 --> 00:06:56.906
My day-to-day interaction isn't even remotely interacting with people.
00:06:56.985 --> 00:06:59.766
I'm interacting with AI for a majority of my time.
00:07:00.815 --> 00:07:03.185
To your point, how I...
00:07:03.446 --> 00:07:15.136
me being that type of person where I make thr- friends through spending time with them and helping them through things, I'm not helping a person anymore, I'm helping AI through things.
00:07:16.005 --> 00:07:19.446
And so I don't get that time to build
00:07:19.576 --> 00:07:20.995
Claude is your new best
00:07:21.136 --> 00:07:21.475
them.
00:07:21.586 --> 00:07:24.886
Yeah, is my new best friend, and it's it's,
00:07:25.113 --> 00:07:25.524
Yeah
00:07:25.975 --> 00:07:26.435
you know?
00:07:26.576 --> 00:07:29.946
And it's lonely because As much as I, I am a hermit, I
00:07:30.446 --> 00:07:37.425
No I think even the most introverted among us want some kind of socializing, right?
00:07:37.425 --> 00:07:39.956
They don't want socializing with everybody, right?
00:07:40.406 --> 00:07:42.206
But they want socializing, right?
00:07:42.206 --> 00:07:51.646
They want socializing maybe with a very limited set of friends, and maybe with people that really have meaningful conversations and not just talking about the weather, right?
00:07:51.915 --> 00:07:53.815
There, there's all types of people out there, but
00:07:53.987 --> 00:07:55.298
can I pause you for a second?
00:07:55.307 --> 00:08:02.536
That's one thing I have such a frustration with, and I know I'm not a common person, but I hate small talk, dude.
00:08:03.245 --> 00:08:08.786
I, if I can't have a meaningful conversation with you, why are we wasting our time?
00:08:09.636 --> 00:08:11.115
so much better things to do
00:08:11.723 --> 00:08:16.204
see, I never see it that way, right?
00:08:17.173 --> 00:08:21.314
Now, mind you I probably am one of those people who starts engaging in small talk.
00:08:21.434 --> 00:08:22.384
Why though?
00:08:22.593 --> 00:08:26.194
It's not because I actually care about the weather, right?
00:08:26.504 --> 00:08:29.434
Now you say,"Oh so it's a pointless conversation?" No.
00:08:29.983 --> 00:08:31.413
It's a leap off, right?
00:08:31.413 --> 00:08:32.483
It's a starting point,
00:08:33.072 --> 00:08:33.442
Okay
00:08:34.604 --> 00:08:35.463
When you start
00:08:35.587 --> 00:08:37.028
leap off from the weather?
00:08:37.223 --> 00:08:42.653
The point of small talk is for it to become big talk, right?
00:08:43.463 --> 00:08:44.124
The point of
00:08:44.314 --> 00:08:44.703
hoping
00:08:44.744 --> 00:08:46.524
talk- Yes.
00:08:46.634 --> 00:09:04.024
Yeah because a lot of people, it's off-putting to be like my grandfather died today, and I've been thinking about should people, actually wallow in their grief, or should they, overcome it and focus on the next task ahead of them?" Most people, that's a good discussion
00:09:04.508 --> 00:09:04.707
Yeah,
00:09:04.844 --> 00:09:12.173
that a lot of people have a lot of thoughts about, but you don't start with it because there's a lot of people that are like, whoa.
00:09:13.494 --> 00:09:13.984
You're...
00:09:14.494 --> 00:09:17.073
This is too much to start with," right?
00:09:17.553 --> 00:09:18.144
Josh, I
00:09:18.211 --> 00:09:18.552
think it's like-
00:09:18.553 --> 00:09:24.909
you to know that you're the reason why the executive assistant at my child's daycare is probably gonna hate me now.
00:09:25.200 --> 00:09:34.129
'Cause the next time he asks me or says,"Yeah, the weather out there is really bad," I'm gonna respond to him,"Yeah, when I'm contemplating how we're slowly dying to death.
00:09:34.139 --> 00:09:35.649
How do, what are your thoughts on that?"
00:09:36.471 --> 00:09:36.542
Yes.
00:09:36.581 --> 00:09:36.922
No,
00:09:37.129 --> 00:09:37.639
when he
00:09:37.881 --> 00:09:38.162
I
00:09:38.210 --> 00:09:42.240
me like I'm a weirdo, I have nobody but you to blame.
00:09:43.149 --> 00:09:46.080
Okay, like that's definitely an escalation.
00:09:46.710 --> 00:09:52.379
But I think when you have small talk, you are like opening the door.
00:09:52.549 --> 00:09:56.779
You know that metaphor about like the water, the frog in the boiling water, right?
00:09:57.159 --> 00:09:57.519
Yeah
00:09:57.590 --> 00:10:00.419
If the frog jumped into the boiling water, it would jump right out.
00:10:01.120 --> 00:10:08.494
But when it's, when it c- jumps in and then it's like slowly heating up, it doesn't necessarily know Out.
00:10:08.518 --> 00:10:13.967
so now you're saying you need to trap people into conversations with you is what you're...
00:10:13.998 --> 00:10:14.408
is that...
00:10:14.467 --> 00:10:17.227
if I'm anal- if I'm following your analogy,
00:10:18.230 --> 00:10:19.279
Gosh, maybe
00:10:19.477 --> 00:10:19.687
way
00:10:19.789 --> 00:10:20.100
No
00:10:20.187 --> 00:10:25.067
for people, so you have to start small then segue.
00:10:26.121 --> 00:10:26.581
You know what?
00:10:26.591 --> 00:10:32.851
I really, I'm not thinking of this as like a, a combative kind of relationship but yes, arguably.
00:10:32.892 --> 00:10:34.442
The, the point is I'm trying to trap them.
00:10:35.442 --> 00:10:41.611
Yeah, because basically you start with a conversation that's mundane, like how is the weather, right?
00:10:42.011 --> 00:10:54.692
And then maybe you get a hint of oh like maybe you figured out some new information about them because they said that they were, that's why they decided to take the car today instead of walking, right?
00:10:54.980 --> 00:10:55.340
Yeah
00:10:55.381 --> 00:11:00.081
And then you say,"Oh," you can use this to get into like a deeper conversation.
00:11:00.091 --> 00:11:04.402
"Oh, which do you prefer?" Do you hate like the rain because of this, and stuff like this.
00:11:05.251 --> 00:11:13.581
I just think that the, the small talk can be a way to actually trick people into having a better conversation.
00:11:13.950 --> 00:11:14.450
Yeah.
00:11:14.711 --> 00:11:16.422
so I don't think of it as trickery.
00:11:16.461 --> 00:11:16.611
I think-
00:11:17.309 --> 00:11:17.779
I think...
00:11:17.820 --> 00:11:22.309
I actually think you're onto something, and maybe that's why it's hard for me to make friends.
00:11:22.350 --> 00:11:23.289
Maybe that, that's...
00:11:23.649 --> 00:11:25.039
Maybe that's one thing I need to do.
00:11:25.230 --> 00:11:26.115
I gotta, I
00:11:26.173 --> 00:11:27.774
I'm gonna take-- I'm gonna separate these two things though.
00:11:27.774 --> 00:11:28.693
I'm gonna separate
00:11:28.990 --> 00:11:30.179
into conversations
00:11:31.179 --> 00:11:51.389
these a little bit because yes, that will increase the amount of time that you spend with a person, and usually that time that increases, as long as it's not in a way that makes the other person angry with you, is going to I don't know to use like a video game metaphor, it's gonna increase your friendship points, right?
00:11:51.759 --> 00:11:53.860
You're gonna slowly build up that gauge.
00:11:54.429 --> 00:11:54.789
Yeah
00:11:55.524 --> 00:12:06.714
but the thing that really matters is spending a lot of times these small talks, even if they become big talks, they're gonna last like 20, 30 minutes, right?
00:12:07.313 --> 00:12:13.933
And the truth is, to make like friends, you really need like hours and hours, right?
00:12:14.533 --> 00:12:20.563
And I think that only really happens when you say,"Hey," y- you make a big leap and you say,
00:12:20.798 --> 00:12:20.927
You
00:12:21.073 --> 00:12:23.573
"Hey, y- you wanna hang out after work?"
00:12:23.673 --> 00:12:24.033
Yeah
00:12:24.918 --> 00:12:25.908
"Hey, I have
00:12:26.001 --> 00:12:26.491
reminds me
00:12:26.587 --> 00:12:26.847
like-"
00:12:26.971 --> 00:12:29.101
that Bluey, that Bluey episode.
00:12:29.121 --> 00:12:30.011
Do you watch Bluey?
00:12:30.988 --> 00:12:32.187
I've watched some Bluey, yeah.
00:12:32.817 --> 00:12:33.557
Bluey's great.
00:12:33.618 --> 00:12:34.798
I'm a big fan
00:12:35.162 --> 00:12:40.091
th did you watch the episode where Bandit takes Bl- Bing- is it Bingo or Blue?
00:12:40.091 --> 00:12:47.912
Bluey to the playground and they run into the other dad and kid, at the playground?
00:12:48.062 --> 00:12:49.162
Have you seen that episode?
00:12:49.960 --> 00:12:50.740
I don't know if I have
00:12:51.562 --> 00:13:32.581
Oh, it's so funny because Bluey's after the first day, Bluey's like,"Oh, are you best friends with him?" And Bandit's like,"No." And she's"Why not?" And he's like I just met him." How long does it take to become friends?" I don't know." And it's just it kinda reminds me of what you're talking about, where it's like it-- But it gets back to your actual thing that you were saying at the beginning of the episode where as kids, you meet somebody for the first time and you're like,"Oh, you're my best friend now." Versus now what you're saying is, as adults, and you're right, it takes way longer to classify someone as an acquaintance to friend and then to best friend,
00:13:32.642 --> 00:13:42.022
when you're a kid too, like that meeting with somebody and you've spent 20 minutes with them, that is an incredible amount of part, like a, a chunk of your life.
00:13:42.946 --> 00:13:43.475
Oh, I see.
00:13:43.572 --> 00:13:44.961
That is, as an adult,
00:13:45.115 --> 00:13:45.686
it depends
00:13:45.772 --> 00:13:46.052
like...
00:13:46.316 --> 00:13:47.235
you've been living.
00:13:47.306 --> 00:13:47.826
It's like
00:13:47.951 --> 00:13:48.532
Exactly.
00:13:48.922 --> 00:13:57.741
When that kid made a best friend after spending three hours with them, that's you actually spending five different yeah like spending a, a significant amount of time with somebody else.
00:13:57.967 --> 00:14:09.258
I don't like what you're proposing though, because that means as you get older it's harder to make friends because you now need to spend an exponential amount more time with an acquaintance just to become a friend.
00:14:10.498 --> 00:14:11.238
So what?
00:14:11.238 --> 00:14:19.067
When Years old, I might as well give up because the amount of time I have to spend with the person to become a friend is probably doesn't equal the how many years I have left?
00:14:19.168 --> 00:14:22.368
That they're gonna die before you actually become friends with them.
00:14:22.368 --> 00:14:23.067
Yeah, we can,
00:14:23.289 --> 00:14:24.240
conversation.
00:14:24.857 --> 00:14:26.238
We can talk about that.
00:14:26.788 --> 00:14:28.668
But, but a little bit, right?
00:14:28.717 --> 00:14:31.118
It does matter the amount of time that you spend, right?
00:14:31.528 --> 00:14:49.028
And, I do think genuinely that part of that time that's spent is, the, the hard thing about the, the work from home situation is that it's not really-- you're not really gaining any points by having a Slack conversation, right?
00:14:49.668 --> 00:15:02.538
You actually need-- Like Zoom is, Zoom/a Slack video call is better than the text thing, but the text really does not do anything for your friendship, right?
00:15:02.628 --> 00:15:04.378
I think that personally, right?
00:15:04.481 --> 00:15:07.581
What actually matters is having conversation, right?
00:15:07.601 --> 00:15:08.182
Talking to them.
00:15:08.511 --> 00:15:15.162
But what even matters more is getting, like, all this other stuff out of the way and spending time with that person.
00:15:16.412 --> 00:15:20.361
And sometimes, work facilitates this, right?
00:15:20.922 --> 00:15:28.152
A lot of friends that I have from my past company were because we did stuff outside of work, right?
00:15:28.611 --> 00:15:29.991
Yeah, we did work together.
00:15:29.991 --> 00:15:31.971
We spent a lot of time at work together.
00:15:32.331 --> 00:15:36.601
But the w- reason we became friends was because we went on walks together.
00:15:36.601 --> 00:15:38.201
We went on hikes, right?
00:15:38.201 --> 00:15:42.652
We spent the weekends, doing some interesting activity.
00:15:43.251 --> 00:15:45.211
That's what helped us become friends.
00:15:45.782 --> 00:15:55.682
And, honestly this year, I've spent time with people from high school, people from college, people from past work.
00:15:56.381 --> 00:16:02.971
The, the truth is I- it's-- this is a funny conversation for me because I'm not really looking to have more friends.
00:16:03.642 --> 00:16:15.831
With, with kids, I feel like between the hobbies I have and my kids and the friends that I already have from my past that's more than enough work.
00:16:16.432 --> 00:16:16.621
I,
00:16:16.830 --> 00:16:17.159
Yeah
00:16:17.402 --> 00:16:19.371
to maintain all those relationships.
00:16:19.822 --> 00:16:28.951
So even though work right now, I'm not really making any new friends it's not a really big deal because I already have all those other friends,
00:16:29.548 --> 00:16:29.717
Yeah.
00:16:30.672 --> 00:16:31.412
is how I see it.
00:16:31.498 --> 00:16:44.057
that's I and that's also really hard for people like me because things happened in the past, and now I'm not as close with all of my friends that I was really close with, right?
00:16:44.360 --> 00:16:44.409
Yeah
00:16:44.597 --> 00:16:51.937
And so I don't really have close relationships with people that I could have deep conversations with.
00:16:52.673 --> 00:16:58.894
That's the thing is it's also weird because I also find it hard to have conversations with a lot of people, too.
00:16:59.683 --> 00:17:08.864
I'll try to have conversations with people I just meet, but I'll try to ta- so I'll, I will try to do small talk, but I don't do small talk like the weather.
00:17:09.703 --> 00:17:11.903
my thing is I wanna know about you.
00:17:12.333 --> 00:17:21.314
So I'll ask"Okay what hobbies do you have?" But most of the time when I ask questions like that to people are just like,"Oh, no, I don't have any hobbies." And I'm like,"Oh, okay.
00:17:21.958 --> 00:17:22.327
This
00:17:22.413 --> 00:17:28.423
What do you do, what do you do in your free time?""Oh, I just watch TV." I was like,"Oh, okay.
00:17:28.423 --> 00:17:32.673
Do you watch, Are there any TV shows you're watching?""Not really.""All right.
00:17:32.673 --> 00:17:34.723
I guess we're not having a conversation anymore."
00:17:35.948 --> 00:17:36.218
Yeah.
00:17:36.288 --> 00:17:36.597
Yeah.
00:17:36.657 --> 00:17:46.961
A lot of-- I think these, these conversations too, there's so much to like the art of conversation You're trying to suss out does the actual-- does the person actually wanna talk right now?
00:17:47.049 --> 00:17:47.460
Yeah.
00:17:47.662 --> 00:17:49.981
sometimes people don't wanna talk, right?
00:17:50.432 --> 00:17:54.872
We have like at my the, my daughter's daycare, right?
00:17:55.582 --> 00:17:58.592
I d- I don't think this is private or anything like this, right?
00:17:58.652 --> 00:18:10.211
But like there are people who m- who are at the front desk, and nine times out of 10 they want like you, you can have a conversation and it's great, right?
00:18:10.561 --> 00:18:12.922
That this is like a fun way to start your day.
00:18:12.922 --> 00:18:16.612
You talk to them, they have some interesting thing to say, right?
00:18:16.612 --> 00:18:17.991
We back and forth.
00:18:18.301 --> 00:18:19.471
It's a fun way to start the day.
00:18:19.721 --> 00:18:24.031
But sometimes you talk and they're clearly focused on something else and you're like,"Okay,
00:18:24.046 --> 00:18:26.316
Yeah, yeah.
00:18:26.402 --> 00:18:34.251
Dude it's crazy how different our lives are because I go to drop my kid off, and they wanna talk to me, and I'm like,"Please don't talk to me.
00:18:34.251 --> 00:18:36.412
I just wanna drop my kid off and go to work."
00:18:37.213 --> 00:18:39.693
They might be willing to talk to you about some deep stuff
00:18:39.771 --> 00:18:42.461
potential best friend, and I'm turning them away,
00:18:43.019 --> 00:18:43.660
Honestly?
00:18:44.109 --> 00:18:44.779
Honestly
00:18:44.801 --> 00:18:46.132
We ta- we talked about this.
00:18:46.432 --> 00:18:47.991
That's an older episode, too.
00:18:48.011 --> 00:18:48.281
You...
00:18:48.332 --> 00:18:50.372
Everybody-- That was a quote from you.
00:18:50.682 --> 00:18:53.832
You said everybody you meet can be a potential...
00:18:54.082 --> 00:18:55.142
I forgot how you put it.
00:18:55.142 --> 00:18:57.612
It's like a potential future best friend or something
00:18:57.730 --> 00:18:57.829
Yeah.
00:18:57.880 --> 00:18:58.789
You don't know.
00:18:58.839 --> 00:18:59.589
You don't know.
00:18:59.589 --> 00:19:06.819
And I think that's why engaging even with a small talk is just opening yourself up to that possibility that they're there.
00:19:07.230 --> 00:19:20.089
I, you said something in the past, I don't know if it was, not during this episode necessarily, but about going to a coffee shop and opening up a book and"Maybe somebody will talk to me." And it's like,
00:19:20.627 --> 00:19:20.968
Yeah.
00:19:21.230 --> 00:19:22.400
that's so passive.
00:19:22.640 --> 00:19:23.700
That's so passive.
00:19:23.807 --> 00:19:24.107
that,
00:19:24.230 --> 00:19:24.500
Like-
00:19:24.698 --> 00:19:28.907
was, that was a message I actually sent to you to pitch this episode.
00:19:29.304 --> 00:19:29.693
Yeah.
00:19:29.958 --> 00:19:30.528
yeah no.
00:19:30.834 --> 00:19:31.193
But
00:19:31.238 --> 00:19:32.407
I, and I this, the...
00:19:32.448 --> 00:19:34.097
But that's a good idea, right?
00:19:34.228 --> 00:19:35.657
And I understand what you're saying.
00:19:36.067 --> 00:19:40.988
It's not gonna be definite, a definite way to get people to sit, to say anything to me.
00:19:41.678 --> 00:19:43.847
And, let's fill in our audience members.
00:19:43.887 --> 00:19:50.627
So how I pitched this episode to you that I can almost be like a, a week...
00:19:50.837 --> 00:20:08.051
The idea would be that we brainstorm a bunch of different ideas of how somebody could make friends, Then I will do an ep- video episodes of me trying those things out and seeing, and we can even rate them to see how how good they were at making friends.
00:20:08.102 --> 00:20:09.852
And I, I've thought about it a little bit more.
00:20:10.162 --> 00:20:23.951
We could create an Instagram account where I'll do shorts on it, and then afterwards we can do follow-up episodes or podcasts where we, we look at those and we review was it actually, is it actually a good idea?
00:20:24.201 --> 00:20:37.162
And maybe this can be helpful for our listeners because, hopefully our demographic of listeners is people in our same problem that we're having, and maybe some of them are like you, who don't have time for friends right now.
00:20:37.182 --> 00:20:39.491
You have enough friends and then you have your family.
00:20:39.781 --> 00:20:49.662
But maybe there are some people out there like me, who are having a hard time in this new world of who is open for a new friend and just doesn't have the, a good way to
00:20:49.693 --> 00:20:49.844
Yeah.
00:20:49.844 --> 00:20:54.784
I think there are certainly a lot of methods, and I think a lot of people handle this differently, right?
00:20:55.423 --> 00:20:55.693
Yeah
00:20:55.776 --> 00:21:00.036
only thing that I would just, want to make an impression of, right?
00:21:00.276 --> 00:21:10.748
The The one thing, the one takeaway that I want you to have, I think, is that making friends is a process that's active, right?
00:21:11.178 --> 00:21:12.708
It's not passive, right?
00:21:12.768 --> 00:21:15.347
You need to spend time with other people.
00:21:16.261 --> 00:21:16.622
Yeah
00:21:16.738 --> 00:21:19.948
doesn't mean that you have to make time with everybody, right?
00:21:20.377 --> 00:21:25.387
But that you have to open yourself up to the possibility that you're, you might spend time with other people.
00:21:26.157 --> 00:21:30.538
And honestly don't wait for other people.
00:21:30.548 --> 00:21:32.327
I know some people would, right?
00:21:32.605 --> 00:21:33.955
Because that's better than nothing, right?
00:21:33.955 --> 00:21:36.665
Putting yourself out there takes effort.
00:21:37.526 --> 00:21:37.865
Yeah
00:21:38.096 --> 00:21:38.925
It's not easy.
00:21:40.155 --> 00:21:52.596
But the most consistent way to make friends is actually just to go and spend a lot of time with other people and then offer,"Hey, you wanna go on a hike this weekend?
00:21:52.596 --> 00:21:57.736
Do you wanna go and do this?" Figure out what the person likes and and-
00:21:57.852 --> 00:21:59.021
hiking, so I'm not doing that
00:22:00.115 --> 00:22:00.726
Yeah.
00:22:00.875 --> 00:22:01.566
Yeah.
00:22:01.586 --> 00:22:05.556
But inviting them to your child's birthday party or
00:22:07.016 --> 00:22:08.266
Then I'm too busy hosting.
00:22:08.266 --> 00:22:09.645
I can't actually hang out with them
00:22:10.276 --> 00:22:10.776
Okay.
00:22:10.776 --> 00:22:11.826
I don't know you.
00:22:12.155 --> 00:22:13.016
You do know me.
00:22:13.026 --> 00:22:16.675
It's not like we, you're some random person I just met on the street.
00:22:17.435 --> 00:22:18.226
Geez,
00:22:18.395 --> 00:22:19.236
Who, who are you
00:22:19.645 --> 00:22:20.546
so fast.
00:22:20.546 --> 00:22:21.105
I didn't know you were
00:22:21.415 --> 00:22:21.455
again?
00:22:21.506 --> 00:22:21.705
By
00:22:21.986 --> 00:22:22.715
Jesus.
00:22:22.875 --> 00:22:23.125
No.
00:22:23.125 --> 00:22:23.415
Okay.
00:22:23.465 --> 00:22:25.165
So stop dancing around the bush here.
00:22:25.476 --> 00:22:27.105
So you're saying that me...
00:22:27.286 --> 00:22:32.266
So one of the ideas I came up with was going and reading a book in a public location.
00:22:32.965 --> 00:22:34.465
n- now here's the thing.
00:22:34.546 --> 00:22:35.766
Not, do I agree with you?
00:22:35.766 --> 00:22:36.105
Yes.
00:22:36.175 --> 00:22:39.586
I- is it a, a diehard way to get a friend?
00:22:39.635 --> 00:22:40.576
No, definitely not.
00:22:40.705 --> 00:22:42.576
But the thing, those...
00:22:42.715 --> 00:22:44.925
And this is why I came up with that, that idea.
00:22:45.246 --> 00:22:54.256
One thing I realized on why it is it's hard for me to make friends is it's hard for me, for people to see me, right?
00:22:54.645 --> 00:23:15.655
If I'm spending most of my time in my house from working from there, then eating lunch here, and then the only time I actually see people physically at this point during the day, during the week, is I either go and pick up my kid from daycare and they see me there, or we go to a restaurant and the waiter sees me, right?
00:23:15.996 --> 00:23:20.586
There's no situation in a social way where I see people.
00:23:20.935 --> 00:23:34.175
And so my thought process is you go to a coffee shop, you go to a bookstore, Barnes Noble, you go somewhere where people are also going aren't forced to be there because they're working there.
00:23:34.195 --> 00:23:36.076
There are, but there's other people that aren't.
00:23:36.925 --> 00:23:46.665
And as long as you're in those situations, let's say I'm just sitting there reading a book, maybe I'm reading a book that someone else is like, hasn't read yet, they might come talk to me and we actually...
00:23:46.715 --> 00:23:49.935
And then we have something to actually talk about because it's a book I'm reading.
00:23:50.306 --> 00:23:53.796
And so obviously we have some common interest if they
00:23:53.864 --> 00:23:54.034
And
00:23:54.105 --> 00:23:54.615
read it and
00:23:54.784 --> 00:24:05.253
I think this is a good idea but I would also then go and say,"Hey, when you see somebody else reading a book, Go and talk to them," right?
00:24:05.433 --> 00:24:07.394
Don't just sit there and, be like
00:24:07.569 --> 00:24:08.559
don't wanna talk to you?
00:24:08.569 --> 00:24:12.589
What if they're there to be alone and now you're disturbing them?
00:24:12.589 --> 00:24:13.099
I don't know
00:24:13.663 --> 00:24:13.933
No.
00:24:13.953 --> 00:24:17.134
It's reading the room and then deciding do they actually...
00:24:17.534 --> 00:24:24.523
going up and being like,"Oh, do you like that book?" And be like,"Oh, it's pretty good." And then they kinda look back to the book, don't talk to them anymore.
00:24:24.907 --> 00:24:25.248
Yeah.
00:24:25.397 --> 00:24:25.698
Yeah.
00:24:25.894 --> 00:24:26.794
They've basically said...
00:24:26.804 --> 00:24:31.384
A lot of people have this fear that they're gonna totally ruin the conversation, right?
00:24:31.653 --> 00:24:32.864
Totally interrupt somebody.
00:24:33.903 --> 00:24:36.743
Often that final, that saying one sentence
00:24:36.824 --> 00:24:38.294
Yeah, that's true
00:24:38.496 --> 00:24:39.986
Is inconsequential.
00:24:40.486 --> 00:24:47.983
Now, if you keep pestering them and they don't wanna talk to you, they keep looking back to their book, That's where you're being a problem, right?
00:24:48.208 --> 00:24:48.708
Yeah
00:24:49.253 --> 00:24:52.034
I would just say, again just be intentional.
00:24:52.134 --> 00:24:54.384
Yes, it's good to go to a coffee shop.
00:24:54.604 --> 00:24:55.983
That's way better than your house.
00:24:56.193 --> 00:25:00.144
You'll never meet people except the people you invite to your house, at your house, right?
00:25:00.175 --> 00:25:00.816
exactly.
00:25:01.076 --> 00:25:05.405
If I'm sitting there just reading books in my house, I'm not gonna ever run into another person
00:25:05.665 --> 00:25:05.925
Yeah.
00:25:05.925 --> 00:25:08.625
If you work from home, like it's the hardest...
00:25:08.875 --> 00:25:12.236
you really need to get out of your home if you wanna meet people, right?
00:25:12.925 --> 00:25:14.875
But when you actually do get out...
00:25:14.930 --> 00:25:16.420
okay, so here's another idea,
00:25:16.596 --> 00:25:16.895
Yeah
00:25:17.240 --> 00:25:25.809
You keep talking about doing things with people, and so this was another suggestion, which is go join a exercise group,
00:25:26.400 --> 00:25:26.720
Yep
00:25:27.490 --> 00:25:28.809
Class or,
00:25:29.307 --> 00:25:29.928
A, a meter,
00:25:29.960 --> 00:25:30.450
a row
00:25:30.577 --> 00:25:30.788
right?
00:25:31.009 --> 00:25:31.690
or some...
00:25:31.730 --> 00:25:32.200
Yeah.
00:25:32.849 --> 00:25:33.220
Yeah.
00:25:33.269 --> 00:25:33.569
That's a...
00:25:33.619 --> 00:25:34.950
There's not meetups
00:25:35.433 --> 00:25:35.993
There are.
00:25:36.170 --> 00:25:37.329
exercising.
00:25:38.329 --> 00:25:38.670
there?
00:25:38.700 --> 00:25:39.289
I don't know.
00:25:39.551 --> 00:25:39.852
Maybe,
00:25:39.913 --> 00:25:41.284
so there's so many different...
00:25:41.491 --> 00:25:41.971
a meetup
00:25:42.743 --> 00:25:45.483
But let's say you wanna learn Japanese, right?
00:25:46.114 --> 00:25:47.503
As a hypothetical, right?
00:25:47.753 --> 00:25:49.253
You wanna learn a language, right?
00:25:49.554 --> 00:25:53.933
You go and like actually go to a class, right?
00:25:54.511 --> 00:25:55.951
You meet other people, right?
00:25:55.991 --> 00:25:58.132
People that have this same interest, right?
00:25:58.142 --> 00:26:00.362
For many totally different reasons, right?
00:26:00.634 --> 00:26:01.023
Yeah
00:26:01.761 --> 00:26:03.912
There's things for like your kids, right?
00:26:04.392 --> 00:26:08.551
You, your, your kid is, taking an interest in dance, right?
00:26:08.561 --> 00:26:10.521
Maybe you go and give them dance lessons.
00:26:10.521 --> 00:26:12.392
You talk to the other parents, right?
00:26:13.173 --> 00:26:16.594
Like let's say you met a famous person, right?
00:26:17.112 --> 00:26:17.571
Yeah
00:26:17.693 --> 00:26:21.854
The way that I think of it is like they're still a person at the end of the day, right?
00:26:22.097 --> 00:26:22.278
but
00:26:22.334 --> 00:26:22.354
may
00:26:22.397 --> 00:26:22.607
you can
00:26:22.703 --> 00:26:22.864
have
00:26:23.167 --> 00:26:23.518
is
00:26:23.523 --> 00:26:24.354
some skill
00:26:24.988 --> 00:26:28.798
just blurting quotes at them from their famous movie.
00:26:28.948 --> 00:26:30.887
And they don't want that, right?
00:26:30.917 --> 00:26:32.678
They get that all the time, right?
00:26:32.708 --> 00:26:33.117
Yeah,
00:26:33.528 --> 00:26:35.278
The more normal conversation.
00:26:35.478 --> 00:26:40.748
Be- being aware that this is not a high stakes conversation is always the important thing, right?
00:26:40.867 --> 00:26:44.278
Every conversation that you have is pretty low stakes, right?
00:26:44.988 --> 00:26:52.278
Let's say you meet somebody, like literally, yeah, you meet Keanu Reeves, in the line of a coffee shop, right?
00:26:52.683 --> 00:26:52.983
Yeah
00:26:53.327 --> 00:26:57.097
Like asking him what he's gonna order is
00:26:57.147 --> 00:26:57.417
yeah
00:26:57.473 --> 00:27:02.304
What do you recommend here?" It doesn't need to be anything about anything they've done before, right?
00:27:03.105 --> 00:27:05.365
Does this cafe actually exist?
00:27:06.365 --> 00:27:07.016
I don't know.
00:27:07.036 --> 00:27:08.046
I don't know.
00:27:09.046 --> 00:27:09.296
That's a
00:27:09.403 --> 00:27:10.193
may- maybe it's...
00:27:11.193 --> 00:27:14.294
If y- if you go and say that to him, he's gonna be...
00:27:15.574 --> 00:27:16.203
I don't know.
00:27:16.243 --> 00:27:19.433
I've heard he's a pretty chill guy, but who knows?
00:27:19.443 --> 00:27:20.324
Who knows?
00:27:21.622 --> 00:27:22.041
Okay.
00:27:22.503 --> 00:27:22.953
Yeah.
00:27:23.013 --> 00:27:23.134
I
00:27:23.211 --> 00:27:23.311
all
00:27:23.443 --> 00:27:23.473
don't
00:27:23.481 --> 00:27:26.541
So I think the, this episode's, we're already 33 minutes in.
00:27:26.761 --> 00:27:35.481
We talked about a real- a lot of really good stuff, but I think next episode or next time, we need to spitball some ideas for me to do.
00:27:35.731 --> 00:27:36.771
I'll go and do them.
00:27:36.801 --> 00:27:46.402
Like I said, we can record it, and then I'll throw it on Instagram or something, and then we can come back and, maybe review it and be like,"Okay, was that actually useful or not?
00:27:46.541 --> 00:27:53.882
Can you make friends?" maybe we can help our, help me make friends, and maybe we can help our audience members as well.
00:27:54.882 --> 00:27:55.382
Sounds good.
00:27:55.566 --> 00:27:55.655
You
00:27:55.771 --> 00:27:56.392
like that idea.
00:27:56.811 --> 00:27:57.251
Let's do it
00:27:57.306 --> 00:27:57.576
No.
00:27:58.355 --> 00:27:58.695
right.
00:27:59.806 --> 00:28:15.395
All right I like I said, I, the, I think the other thing to end this episode, I think it's hard for me to come up with conversations with other people, but for some reason, me and you can ramble on for 35 minutes and no problem at all.
00:28:15.395 --> 00:28:16.766
Make it make sense, Josh.
00:28:16.766 --> 00:28:17.006
I
00:28:17.387 --> 00:28:20.968
We, we can ramble on for a lot longer than 35 minutes, I'll tell you that much
00:28:20.976 --> 00:28:23.935
deep conversation, and I care deeply about it.
00:28:23.955 --> 00:28:28.365
This is just, this is just the k- conversation I want with the guy that's making my coffee too.
00:28:28.365 --> 00:28:29.185
Is that so much to
00:28:29.653 --> 00:28:30.473
You can do it.
00:28:30.503 --> 00:28:31.344
You can do it.
00:28:31.344 --> 00:28:32.023
You just gotta,
00:28:33.153 --> 00:28:33.723
yeah.
00:28:34.814 --> 00:28:35.263
All right.
00:28:35.354 --> 00:28:37.384
On that note, I think we'll end it here.
00:28:38.384 --> 00:28:38.874
Good luck.
00:28:39.314 --> 00:28:40.173
We're all counting on you.
00:28:41.145 --> 00:28:41.496
I'll try.
