WEBVTT
00:00:13.039 --> 00:00:21.600
Welcome to Bubbles and Breakdowns, a space designed for you to show up as your beautifully imperfect self where we dive into the good, the bad, and the bubbly.
00:00:21.679 --> 00:00:22.399
I'm Ashley.
00:00:22.559 --> 00:00:23.920
And I'm Katrina.
00:00:24.079 --> 00:00:28.000
Ashley, have you ever ignored that little voice inside you?
00:00:28.160 --> 00:00:30.399
Only to realize later, hey, guess what?
00:00:30.640 --> 00:00:32.000
It was right all along.
00:00:32.159 --> 00:00:33.200
Ding ding ding.
00:00:33.439 --> 00:00:38.640
If you're a woman in your 40s, chances are you've all had an experience more than once like that.
00:00:38.799 --> 00:00:53.359
Somewhere between raising kids, building a career, caring for our aging parents, supporting a partner, and keeping everyone else's lives running smoothly, it's so easy to lose touch with your own inner voice.
00:00:53.679 --> 00:01:00.479
We become so focused on meeting everyone else's needs that we start second-guessing our own instincts.
00:01:00.960 --> 00:01:12.560
In today's episode, we're talking about why that happens, why your intuition deserves more credit than you may give it, and how maybe we could reconnect with that inner wisdom that's been there all along.
00:01:13.840 --> 00:01:16.000
I have definitely quieted this voice.
00:01:16.319 --> 00:01:18.400
Maybe even like shoved it down.
00:01:18.719 --> 00:01:21.200
Or like, yeah, or was I even born with this?
00:01:21.359 --> 00:01:24.239
Like, no, but why do we stop trusting ourselves?
00:01:24.400 --> 00:01:36.079
I think that's such a big question because I think even trying to raise a little human, little humans now, I try to empower them to say, you know what's right and what's wrong.
00:01:36.239 --> 00:01:36.400
Yeah.
00:01:36.560 --> 00:01:36.799
Right?
00:01:36.959 --> 00:01:38.319
Like, here's your morals.
00:01:38.480 --> 00:01:40.400
But like, where did that end for me?
00:01:40.560 --> 00:01:50.480
I'm like, I've always been that validation person who goes, I'm gonna call my five my top five on my space and validate, like, should I do this?
00:01:50.560 --> 00:01:50.959
Should I do that?
00:01:51.280 --> 00:01:51.680
I don't even know.
00:01:52.719 --> 00:01:56.319
Yes, I've always been that, but again, this 40.
00:01:56.799 --> 00:01:58.640
I'm like put setting that aside.
00:01:58.879 --> 00:02:07.200
Yeah, it's so crazy to me because I sit here and I reflect on all the times that maybe I should have listened to my inner voice and I didn't.
00:02:07.280 --> 00:02:14.000
And I think about a lot of um, you know, relationships when I was younger of like this guy's bad news.
00:02:14.240 --> 00:02:20.879
And I would just kind of push through and then ultimately it would end in my heartache or being upset to some degree.
00:02:21.120 --> 00:02:26.240
And and I just don't think that that's gonna support us long term, you know?
00:02:26.479 --> 00:02:43.680
And I don't know, it's like we give up these inner voices in a way of just immediate maybe satisfaction, if that makes sense, of like, oh, that's too difficult, or yeah, I know you're right, I shouldn't even think about doing this, but I'm gonna just do it anyway.
00:02:43.919 --> 00:02:52.639
And that's when I think we start getting like I don't know, our self-confidence starts to go down and we start to really second guess ourselves even more, if that makes sense.
00:02:53.280 --> 00:02:53.840
Absolutely.
00:02:54.000 --> 00:02:55.680
But like, why do we do that?
00:02:55.840 --> 00:03:00.800
Like, I literally think, like, why have I always needed the top five's advice?
00:03:01.520 --> 00:03:02.960
Yeah, it's a fair question.
00:03:03.120 --> 00:03:08.400
Um I don't reach out to a lot of people, so I think we're kind of opposite that way.
00:03:08.879 --> 00:03:18.080
Um I I definitely confide in my husband, and I don't always like it when he disagrees.
00:03:18.800 --> 00:03:19.599
Who does?
00:03:19.759 --> 00:03:28.479
Meaning like I sometimes come to him, Ashley, with this like, okay, here's what I think, and this is how I feel about it, and this is what I think I should do about it.
00:03:28.719 --> 00:03:36.319
And then ultimately I think this is why we're a good partnership, is that he'll mirror back to me an opposing view or a different way.
00:03:36.479 --> 00:03:39.680
And sometimes I'm just like not even ready to receive it.
00:03:39.840 --> 00:03:52.719
Um, but that's kind of the opposite of like sometimes I may even listen to my inner voice too much when I feel like maybe too proud or too solidified in my ways or inflexible in my decision making.
00:03:52.960 --> 00:03:55.439
So I don't know, your top five.
00:03:55.599 --> 00:03:56.560
Tell me what that looks like.
00:03:56.800 --> 00:04:00.240
Well, yeah, and I'm just kind of reflecting, not this is not Ashley today.
00:04:00.400 --> 00:04:12.319
This is Ashley, like in my high school, college 20s generation, even 30s, where I think it might have been something too like reflecting back.
00:04:12.479 --> 00:04:15.520
Like, I didn't really have that.
00:04:16.560 --> 00:04:18.639
I'm gonna try to make an analogy here.
00:04:18.879 --> 00:04:20.639
Um that backboard.
00:04:20.800 --> 00:04:21.920
Like, you know what I mean?
00:04:22.079 --> 00:04:27.120
Like in basketball to like throw things to against like with my parents, right?
00:04:27.279 --> 00:04:33.279
So I think by me going to other people, that net was kind of cast wide.
00:04:33.360 --> 00:04:37.680
Cause I'm like, oh, that's what this person said, but this is what this person said, but this is what this person says.
00:04:38.879 --> 00:04:42.079
And you kind of want that person to agree with you, though, right?
00:04:42.240 --> 00:04:47.600
I think in seeking that, you're seeking validation of like, am I making the right choice?
00:04:47.920 --> 00:04:48.560
Right.
00:04:49.279 --> 00:04:52.000
And at some point you just have to trust yourself.
00:04:52.160 --> 00:04:52.319
Yeah.
00:04:52.639 --> 00:04:56.879
And I don't think I trusted myself until I got like married.
00:04:57.120 --> 00:05:02.000
And that's I think that's an appropriate age though, because like you got married when you were what, 30?
00:05:02.800 --> 00:05:03.920
When did I have my baby?
00:05:04.160 --> 00:05:04.560
28.
00:05:04.959 --> 00:05:06.399
No, I was like mid-30s.
00:05:06.560 --> 00:05:06.959
Mid-30s.
00:05:07.120 --> 00:05:07.519
33?
00:05:07.680 --> 00:05:08.000
Yeah, yeah.
00:05:08.079 --> 00:05:08.160
Okay.
00:05:08.240 --> 00:05:08.720
So I got married.
00:05:08.959 --> 00:05:10.800
I was geriatric pregnancy at some point.
00:05:10.959 --> 00:05:13.360
So both of mine were geriatric, right?
00:05:13.519 --> 00:05:19.439
But I I think I got married when I was 25, and I felt like I don't know.
00:05:19.600 --> 00:05:22.319
I felt like I could make my decisions for myself.
00:05:22.480 --> 00:05:31.279
Where I struggle with this is I think in the absence of listening to our inner voice, like listening, okay, hearing it is one thing.
00:05:31.439 --> 00:05:31.600
Right.
00:05:31.839 --> 00:05:31.920
Right?
00:05:32.079 --> 00:05:35.439
Like we hear ourselves talk all day long and sometimes.
00:05:36.399 --> 00:05:36.639
I know.
00:05:36.720 --> 00:05:38.879
I'm like Quiet down back there.
00:05:39.519 --> 00:05:41.120
Do I have a mute button?
00:05:41.279 --> 00:05:42.240
Yeah, do I have a mute button?
00:05:42.480 --> 00:05:42.959
For myself?
00:05:43.120 --> 00:05:43.519
Exactly.
00:05:43.759 --> 00:05:46.079
I wish my inner voice has been drinking today.
00:05:46.319 --> 00:05:47.519
You know, like that's just shut it up.
00:05:48.160 --> 00:05:53.439
It's a real thing, but like there's a difference between hearing it and listening to it.
00:05:53.680 --> 00:05:54.399
Oh, yes.
00:05:54.639 --> 00:05:59.360
And and I think about times like when did I listen to my inner voice?
00:06:00.240 --> 00:06:04.160
And here's the other thing, too, that's it interesting about this.
00:06:04.399 --> 00:06:13.680
If we've listened to our inner voice and we've acted, did we ever really go back and realize was it a good decision or a bad decision by listening to our inner voice?
00:06:13.759 --> 00:06:14.800
Or do we just kind of move on?
00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:16.639
And I think I'm the kind of person that just moves on.
00:06:16.800 --> 00:06:19.600
So I don't even know if my inner voice is leading me in the right place.
00:06:19.759 --> 00:06:21.839
Like, is my intuition strong all the time?
00:06:21.920 --> 00:06:22.079
Right.
00:06:22.240 --> 00:06:25.439
Because you're just kind of in your head, totally just going.
00:06:25.920 --> 00:06:31.199
Again, this depends where you're maturity-wise with do you care what other people think, right?
00:06:31.360 --> 00:06:36.240
About decisions you're making, or will it impact you socially and how you look?
00:06:36.399 --> 00:06:44.319
Or, you know, and I think that's by going back to this around having this almost advantage in this.
00:06:44.480 --> 00:06:48.959
Like up until I got married, I was very, like I said, I like got like 10 people's opinions.
00:06:49.120 --> 00:06:52.240
And then it made it that much harder though for me to make my own choice.
00:06:52.399 --> 00:06:52.480
Right.
00:06:52.720 --> 00:06:58.720
Because now I have this like popular opinion out there, and I don't I trust myself even less, right?
00:06:58.879 --> 00:07:01.600
It's almost that bad to gauge the audience.
00:07:01.839 --> 00:07:07.920
Like it almost dilutes your feelings because now you're taking on the opinions of others, which causes second guessing.
00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:08.160
Right.
00:07:08.319 --> 00:07:15.279
Now you're crowdsourcing maybe your emotions away because you're never gonna listen to yourself if you're listening to everyone else.
00:07:15.439 --> 00:07:26.000
And I think that that's a really, really important point is how many times do we just like sit and check in with ourselves and say, okay, how does this feel in my body?
00:07:26.240 --> 00:07:29.279
Like, how does this, if I were to make this decision?
00:07:29.360 --> 00:07:30.720
And it's actually funny, Ashley.
00:07:30.800 --> 00:07:35.920
Like these are questions that I asked my husband recently as he made a really big career decision.
00:07:36.079 --> 00:07:38.319
And I said, Okay, I want you to close your eyes.
00:07:38.399 --> 00:07:40.720
And he's of course maybe like eye roll to me.
00:07:40.800 --> 00:07:43.279
I'm like, Not this again, not this again.
00:07:43.360 --> 00:07:44.560
I'm like, you're the only one.
00:07:44.720 --> 00:07:45.519
Are we manifesting?
00:07:45.680 --> 00:07:47.439
Are we man meditating or what are we doing?
00:07:47.680 --> 00:07:49.680
He's like, Nix, this woo-woo BS.
00:07:49.920 --> 00:07:58.879
But I mean this, and I think that this is something that I need to do more of, Ashley, which is envision yourself at a crossroads, and this can go one of two ways.
00:07:59.120 --> 00:08:00.800
I'm thinking like Robert Frost.
00:08:00.959 --> 00:08:01.600
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna go.
00:08:01.759 --> 00:08:02.639
The road not taken.
00:08:02.800 --> 00:08:04.480
Oh, yes, the road not taken.
00:08:04.639 --> 00:08:05.600
Yes, yes, yes.
00:08:05.759 --> 00:08:16.480
It's kind of like your parallel lives laid out in front of you, and you go down this path of making the decision that's in line in alignment with your intuition, your gut, how does that feel in your body?
00:08:16.639 --> 00:08:20.000
Are you proud of what you did or are you not, are you nervous?
00:08:20.319 --> 00:08:21.120
What are those feelings?
00:08:21.279 --> 00:08:27.600
And the other road is status quo, you're gonna stay kind of doing the same thing and shush your inner voice, right?
00:08:27.920 --> 00:08:31.839
And if it and then I said, Okay, so now speed up one year from now.
00:08:32.000 --> 00:08:38.960
And if you were to look back and you didn't make the choice that felt good in your body, how are you gonna feel about yourself?
00:08:39.120 --> 00:08:39.600
Are you proud?
00:08:39.919 --> 00:08:40.879
Are you proud of yourself?
00:08:41.039 --> 00:08:44.480
And he was like, No, I'd be very mad at myself.
00:08:44.799 --> 00:08:47.360
I said, Well, you have your answer.
00:08:48.159 --> 00:08:52.080
And he did make a really big decision to change his career.
00:08:52.879 --> 00:08:58.080
And that type of so for that for me, I took a very, I don't know, neutral stance.
00:08:58.159 --> 00:09:10.799
So when you talk about crowdsourcing, like I don't really want in my rip my partnership with Matt to be a contributing factor for some decisions that don't necessarily directly impact my well-being.
00:09:11.279 --> 00:09:20.080
Like his career is luckily we're in a place where we can afford to, you know, change careers and make some decisions as are you and and Brad.
00:09:20.480 --> 00:09:24.399
But at the same time, I'm like, I don't want what I'm gonna say change what you want to do.
00:09:24.480 --> 00:09:30.639
I actually want you to tap into your inner voice, and I want you to focus on how it feels for you.
00:09:30.799 --> 00:09:33.039
So I don't think many people do that for us.
00:09:33.360 --> 00:09:33.759
Yeah, you know.
00:09:33.919 --> 00:09:34.399
No, I agree.
00:09:34.480 --> 00:09:41.519
And you know, it just got me thinking too a little bit about when this kind of changed for my life.
00:09:41.759 --> 00:09:45.919
Also, having kids, I feel like talk about advice, right?
00:09:46.080 --> 00:09:50.000
Like I'm sure we all know we've heard you gotta do this, no, you gotta do this.
00:09:50.080 --> 00:09:56.320
Like, and then you get the people that just say, you are the right mother for that child.
00:09:57.440 --> 00:09:58.639
You know what to do.
00:09:58.879 --> 00:10:00.559
Isn't that the best advice you ever got?
00:10:00.799 --> 00:10:01.120
Totally.
00:10:01.279 --> 00:10:03.440
I think it's it really stops.
00:10:03.679 --> 00:10:08.559
It makes you think, though, that you're like, trust your instincts here.
00:10:09.039 --> 00:10:14.480
You know, like obviously, there's like legit questions like how many scoops of formula do I do, right?
00:10:14.559 --> 00:10:23.440
Like things like you need to know, but like the ones that are more loving and more questions of that, and just like you gotta follow your gut.
00:10:23.600 --> 00:10:33.279
And I think, you know, getting married, having children, that's when I started to be like, I'm trusting myself because I'm making these huge decisions that a life depends on.
00:10:33.519 --> 00:10:40.639
And from that, I think that was kind of my first like I am trusting myself more, if that makes sense.
00:10:40.720 --> 00:10:43.360
Like, obviously, you pull the room because I've always a room poller.
00:10:43.600 --> 00:10:46.879
But like today, now I rarely do that anymore.
00:10:47.120 --> 00:10:53.919
Yeah, because now you're through your life experience, you've got all this track record, and you're like, okay, I have the confidence to make it.
00:10:54.080 --> 00:11:04.320
And I'm trying to think now, like, so we know that at this point in our lives, being of a certain age, wink wink, um and getting older by every day.
00:11:04.639 --> 00:11:06.399
We've been fairly successful, right?
00:11:06.559 --> 00:11:13.120
Navigating, like we have time and and a track record, and we've proven ourselves to be able to trust ourselves more.
00:11:13.600 --> 00:11:23.120
I think we should be vulnerable right now, Ashley, and just say, what is something that we are toggling with, right?
00:11:23.519 --> 00:11:27.600
That we maybe are quieting our inner voice on.
00:11:28.240 --> 00:11:33.919
And I mean, I could start maybe with um with something that I think about daily.
00:11:34.320 --> 00:11:35.519
Um spill.
00:11:35.759 --> 00:11:36.000
Yeah.
00:11:37.200 --> 00:11:38.159
Well, okay.
00:11:38.320 --> 00:11:39.840
So I'm like nervous now.
00:11:40.159 --> 00:11:44.240
This one, okay, so this isn't as vulnerable as it could be, but I think it's very real.
00:11:44.399 --> 00:11:44.720
Okay.
00:11:44.960 --> 00:11:47.600
And it has been a challenge for me.
00:11:48.240 --> 00:11:54.639
I injured my back um as I was getting ready to run this half marathon back in May.
00:11:54.960 --> 00:11:59.120
And I still ran the half marathon, and it has not resolved since.
00:11:59.440 --> 00:12:06.720
I have been to a chiropractor, I've been doing stretches, I've been doing my own like at-home PT, going on walks, not running.
00:12:07.360 --> 00:12:15.519
I got a new office chair, and I know my inner voice knows all that stuff is not gonna work.
00:12:15.840 --> 00:12:21.279
And I keep trying to make it work, and I keep being like, but tomorrow it's gonna be better.
00:12:21.519 --> 00:12:22.639
Tomorrow it's gonna be better.
00:12:22.799 --> 00:12:30.960
All of a sudden I keep thinking, and here we are, two plus months post when I heard it, Ashley, and I'm like, oh, but it's just gonna figure itself out.
00:12:31.120 --> 00:12:32.240
I will get better.
00:12:32.480 --> 00:12:42.480
And this morning I went for a three-mile walk before the day started, and I don't know, more than half of it was in pain, and it was hurting more and more as I was going.
00:12:42.799 --> 00:12:47.759
And I'm like, I know my inner voice is yelling at me, like, you need to do something about this.
00:12:48.000 --> 00:12:49.279
Have you been to a doctor?
00:12:49.519 --> 00:12:49.840
Okay.
00:12:51.279 --> 00:12:52.240
This is the thing.
00:12:52.399 --> 00:12:54.159
I did book an orthopedic.
00:12:54.240 --> 00:12:54.480
Okay.
00:12:54.639 --> 00:13:02.240
And then my chiropractor was like, Well, you can go to an orthopedic, but all they're gonna do is tell you to take ibuprofen and charge you$300.
00:13:02.879 --> 00:13:06.399
And I was like, Well, they could do x-rays and an MRI and see if you have slip disc.
00:13:07.759 --> 00:13:12.639
And I don't think I do have a slip disk, but I think I wouldn't even be able to walk very well to the point where I am.
00:13:12.799 --> 00:13:22.559
But there is something going on, and so this is what I'm saying is like, and not only that, did it quiet my inner voice of I already had the appointment scheduled, and then that chiropractor said that, and then I cancel it.
00:13:22.639 --> 00:13:38.399
So now I'm still ignoring my intuition and replacing it with who I think, who I trust, who I have gone to over the years and had success navigating back challenges, but I've been four times to the chiropractor and it gets better for a little bit, and then it's right back, right?
00:13:38.639 --> 00:13:49.360
So I am like being very bold to say here, I am doing it wrong, and I need to listen to that inner voice that says you need another expert's opinion.
00:13:49.519 --> 00:13:53.919
And I'm at that point where I'm like, okay, it's time to really start listening to my inner voice.
00:13:54.159 --> 00:13:54.799
Trust it.
00:13:55.039 --> 00:13:55.440
Yeah.
00:13:55.679 --> 00:13:57.120
So that's like one example.
00:13:57.279 --> 00:13:59.519
I mean, I'm sure I could come up with like a litany of others.
00:13:59.600 --> 00:14:00.559
Have you thought of any?
00:14:00.799 --> 00:14:06.320
Yeah, I guess I have, but I feel like all of mine are just like on the back burner in a weird way.
00:14:06.559 --> 00:14:11.600
Like I feel like I'm so just stay-at-home momming and like, oh my god, what's for dinner?
00:14:11.679 --> 00:14:15.039
Let's go, like, and which is like literally it's the best job on earth.
00:14:15.120 --> 00:14:17.600
Like, I'm I'm so happy, but it's just it's a lot sometimes.
00:14:17.759 --> 00:14:19.039
Yeah, it takes your brain over.
00:14:19.440 --> 00:14:20.559
And like, I don't even know.
00:14:20.720 --> 00:14:23.279
I thought I was like have time, and I just don't have time.
00:14:23.360 --> 00:14:23.600
Yeah.
00:14:23.759 --> 00:14:32.159
But um, in the back of my mind is always when I go back to work, what am I gonna do?
00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:41.360
And this is one where I don't know if I could talk to anyone else about this.
00:14:41.519 --> 00:14:45.279
Like I can, but I think that you're the only one that knows.
00:14:45.440 --> 00:14:45.759
Correct.
00:14:46.399 --> 00:14:50.399
Knows your career, knows your skills, knows your track record, what you liked, what you didn't.
00:14:50.639 --> 00:14:51.039
Exactly.
00:14:51.200 --> 00:14:53.279
And you can't even spend so much time telling people.
00:14:53.600 --> 00:14:54.480
Right, but it's tough.
00:14:54.879 --> 00:15:01.120
No, have being in one field, even though it's such a broad field, marketing, my entire career.
00:15:01.759 --> 00:15:03.360
That's what I know for work.
00:15:03.519 --> 00:15:03.759
Right.
00:15:04.080 --> 00:15:06.639
And like that's what I enjoyed sometimes, sometimes not.
00:15:06.799 --> 00:15:08.559
But who enjoyed their job the whole time?
00:15:08.720 --> 00:15:16.799
But you know, it's one of those things where it's like also marketing changes so quickly, so fast, and I'm gonna be out of the game for a while, right?
00:15:17.279 --> 00:15:22.480
Um, but then I could put a chat GPT prompt in and say, What have I missed in the last two years?
00:15:22.559 --> 00:15:26.320
Give me a download and I'll just pretend like I know what the hell I'm doing.
00:15:26.480 --> 00:15:30.480
Um, but you know, it's one of those things that like that doesn't haunt me.
00:15:30.639 --> 00:15:34.480
I think that's too strong of a word, but it definitely is lingering on the back of my mind.
00:15:34.559 --> 00:15:47.919
And it's kind of one thing that this is where I'm almost thinking, now looking back on this, where I am in my life, I know this is my own choice of what I'm gonna seek to get into next.
00:15:48.080 --> 00:15:48.240
Yeah.
00:15:48.399 --> 00:15:50.799
And like people can guide you, people can say, Oh, you're so good at this.
00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:51.679
Have you thought of this?
00:15:51.759 --> 00:15:51.919
Yeah.
00:15:52.159 --> 00:15:57.919
To kind of spark your ideas, but this is something that I know it's gonna be my decision, right?
00:15:58.080 --> 00:16:02.720
And it also kind of scares the hell out of me because it's a lot of pressure.
00:16:02.879 --> 00:16:03.279
Yes.
00:16:03.519 --> 00:16:10.879
It's a very like lucky place to be, but it is a lot of pressure when you are like, Oh, and by the way, here's your new pen, Ashley.
00:16:10.960 --> 00:16:12.720
Please write your own destiny of your career.
00:16:12.799 --> 00:16:15.519
And it's like it's a blank page staring back at you.
00:16:15.679 --> 00:16:16.080
Right.
00:16:16.320 --> 00:16:26.639
And I do, I do think you're right in the sense of like you don't have the time to really listen to your inner voice right now, but you also aren't at the point where you have to make that decision today.
00:16:26.799 --> 00:16:29.519
And it's like, you know, so it's gonna be on the back burn.
00:16:29.759 --> 00:16:30.000
Totally.
00:16:30.159 --> 00:16:30.240
Right.
00:16:30.639 --> 00:16:31.360
But it's brewing.
00:16:31.519 --> 00:16:32.799
It's brewing, it's simmering.
00:16:32.960 --> 00:16:35.600
Kids are only getting older and going to the next year's school.
00:16:35.679 --> 00:16:37.039
So I I will go back.
00:16:37.200 --> 00:16:39.200
I just don't know what that looks like.
00:16:39.360 --> 00:16:39.600
Yeah.
00:16:39.759 --> 00:16:41.039
Um, but I don't know.
00:16:41.279 --> 00:16:43.759
Well, let's talk about a little bit like shifting.
00:16:44.000 --> 00:16:44.240
Yes.
00:16:44.480 --> 00:16:48.799
What are some ways we can start strengthening strengthening, excuse me, our intuition?
00:16:48.960 --> 00:16:51.600
Like I we talked about, we have this advantage now.
00:16:51.840 --> 00:16:55.120
I think it's a huge advantage of knowing ourselves.
00:16:55.279 --> 00:16:55.600
Yes.
00:16:55.840 --> 00:16:59.039
We've had this more like life experience, right?
00:16:59.360 --> 00:17:08.000
We also understand like the patterns we've lived through and can experience that and recognize this is a good decision, right?
00:17:08.160 --> 00:17:08.400
Right.
00:17:08.559 --> 00:17:11.200
But how do we strengthen that on day-to-day, right?
00:17:11.279 --> 00:17:14.240
Like I know you mentioned like take some time with yourself.
00:17:14.559 --> 00:17:23.279
I think that self-reflection, self-checking in is such a skill that's underutilized for so many things in life.
00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:24.240
You know what I mean?
00:17:24.400 --> 00:17:25.440
So I guess I'll start there.
00:17:25.519 --> 00:17:30.559
Like you said, we'll reiterate that and just like I think taking that time without noise.
00:17:30.960 --> 00:17:33.279
Yeah, don't play music in the background.
00:17:33.920 --> 00:17:41.519
I have gotten into such a bad habit of like not putting in my AirPods and like doing something, but it's like I'm not thinking.
00:17:41.759 --> 00:17:44.240
I think I'm just like robotting through life, you know?
00:17:44.400 --> 00:17:44.640
Yes.
00:17:44.880 --> 00:17:51.839
Um, going from the one task to the next, and there's constant inputs, constant learning, constant communication, whatever that looks like.
00:17:52.079 --> 00:17:54.000
And like that should be maybe my reflection time.
00:17:54.319 --> 00:17:55.440
And I'm not taking advantage.
00:17:55.599 --> 00:17:55.920
What else?
00:17:56.000 --> 00:17:59.759
What do you what else do you think we can do to like strengthen our intuition?
00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:05.839
Yeah, it's interesting because I do think we need quiet moments in order to listen.
00:18:06.079 --> 00:18:28.799
And then I would take it that next step, which is going back a little bit to the example with with Matt, which is having an intention of what you want to hear during that time, which means if there is something that you've been back burning and it's kind of driving you nuts and scratching your brain, don't just have a quiet moment and zone out.
00:18:29.039 --> 00:18:47.039
Have a quiet moment and do some visualization, you know, do some thinking through and and, you know, even if you're just sitting down staring at the window or outside, I think nature is like so, so, so uh amazing to tap into our inner voice or something for me.
00:18:47.200 --> 00:18:49.680
They say 40% of people are inspired by nature.
00:18:49.839 --> 00:19:05.839
I definitely am one of them, but I think there's something beautiful about like, I don't know, looking at places that are bigger than yourselves and feeling a bit small and inconsequential that then even further emphasizes the how not important these decisions really are.
00:19:06.079 --> 00:19:07.279
It's a good point, you know?
00:19:07.440 --> 00:19:09.759
And so I think having perspective is helpful.
00:19:10.240 --> 00:19:11.839
Journaling can be helpful.
00:19:12.000 --> 00:19:26.880
I think, you know, even with like your career conundrum that will be approaching in the next X months or years, is that you won't know until you start doing the work, meaning the work to find the job.
00:19:27.039 --> 00:19:27.359
Right.
00:19:27.519 --> 00:19:34.240
And you may even go to a new place and find out that it's not for you and you can quit.
00:19:34.400 --> 00:19:43.279
And I think there's some real big beauty in realizing our decisions always can feel permanent, but every decision is actually temporary.
00:19:44.480 --> 00:19:56.799
That is beautiful, and I think that that kind of lends itself, I would say, also to your instincts in a in a way around you're making these decisions, right?
00:19:57.039 --> 00:20:00.960
That are just sort of like a fleeting moment.
00:20:01.200 --> 00:20:06.079
There's gonna always be a next decision, but sometimes you're right.
00:20:06.880 --> 00:20:13.599
Most of the times I think as we get older, we're just or and right being you're comfortable in the decision that you made.
00:20:13.759 --> 00:20:14.319
Right.
00:20:14.720 --> 00:20:21.920
And I think there's really power in owning that and making sure that you're present.
00:20:22.079 --> 00:20:24.960
Like you said, give yourself time to think and journal.
00:20:25.039 --> 00:20:27.440
I feel like I've heard so many benefits too about journaling.
00:20:27.519 --> 00:20:27.680
Yeah.
00:20:27.920 --> 00:20:33.039
And just like free, do you even like before you go to bed think of really good things like, oh, I gotta remember that.
00:20:33.119 --> 00:20:34.079
You never remember it.
00:20:34.480 --> 00:20:35.279
You never remember it.
00:20:35.519 --> 00:20:37.359
No, no, if you don't write it down, right?
00:20:37.440 --> 00:20:42.640
There's something so freeing about that and being in the moment that kind of ties you together.
00:20:42.880 --> 00:20:43.359
I love that.
00:20:43.519 --> 00:20:49.039
And and you know, but but I even go back to this whole don't be afraid to make a mistake.
00:20:49.200 --> 00:20:54.960
I think that this, oh, I need to make the perfect decision, or I have to make the right decision.
00:20:55.200 --> 00:20:56.079
Guess what?
00:20:56.240 --> 00:20:58.400
There can be three different right decisions.
00:20:58.640 --> 00:21:02.400
And it ultimately you could, like I said, you can make that decision.
00:21:02.480 --> 00:21:04.559
Then you can say, oh, actually, this isn't the job for me.
00:21:04.640 --> 00:21:07.119
Back to the job boards while you're still there.
00:21:07.279 --> 00:21:12.319
You know, we also have to make decisions that sometimes are based out of complete necessity in our lives.
00:21:12.480 --> 00:21:18.559
You know, maybe you're having a mental breakdown and your job is pushing you to full exhaustion.
00:21:18.720 --> 00:21:22.799
It is time to take care of yourself and figure out a way out, right?
00:21:23.359 --> 00:21:28.720
Or you really need to go back to work sooner than you thought because you got in a financial bind.
00:21:28.880 --> 00:21:31.920
Like those are out of necessity decisions.
00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:47.440
And we're not giving advice on out of necessity decisions because a lot of times these being able to listen to our inner voice comes from a place of privilege and being able to, you know, go in different directions and not have a huge risk.
00:21:47.680 --> 00:21:58.400
But I think at the end of the day, to your point, it's it does come from making moves without having the full picture.
00:21:58.880 --> 00:22:12.559
You know, even though you had your top five, even though I have a quote unquote expert in back pain telling me to not go to the orthopedic doctor, maybe he's wrong.
00:22:13.200 --> 00:22:22.160
And so I think we have to make the decision that feels right for us in the absence of the perfect decision, right?
00:22:22.400 --> 00:22:24.079
Because it actually doesn't exist.
00:22:24.400 --> 00:22:24.960
Totally.
00:22:25.200 --> 00:22:30.559
And and that's where I think that beautiful, I don't know, you ever see like those older women?
00:22:30.720 --> 00:22:35.440
I think of women particularly because it's what I tend to like uh want to embody one day.
00:22:35.599 --> 00:22:39.759
And you just see them kind of like walking around being a badass.
00:22:39.839 --> 00:22:41.920
Like maybe they've got some funky Oh, you mean us now?
00:22:42.000 --> 00:22:42.720
Oh yeah, it's us.
00:22:42.880 --> 00:22:57.039
But I'm talking about myself, but no, like they're like maybe, I don't know, owning a coffee shop and they've got this like funky jewelry, or maybe they're like running an art gallery and they've got like the big red glasses, and like they are fully themselves, right?
00:22:57.519 --> 00:23:06.559
And I think with that, what what's so amazing about it is they don't waffle like no, like maybe in your middle life or early, earlier 30s.
00:23:06.960 --> 00:23:08.000
I was a waffler.
00:23:08.319 --> 00:23:14.079
Yeah, they don't waffle, they walk with confidence, they have assertiveness in the decisions that they make.
00:23:14.240 --> 00:23:20.960
They they can quickly say yes or no, and by the way, not feel bad when they say no, right?
00:23:21.279 --> 00:23:32.960
And that I think is where I'd love to get to in my life is that where I can move through life, really trusting it, not being rude or discouraging or discounting others' feelings.
00:23:33.119 --> 00:23:47.759
Of course, I want to be a good person, but I do think that there is this moment that I hope to get to that I just feel more of myself, um, more embodying what I want to embody.
00:23:47.920 --> 00:23:49.680
And I think I am getting there.
00:23:49.839 --> 00:23:50.559
I'm getting there.
00:23:50.640 --> 00:23:54.000
Like I'm given way less Fs about what people think about me.
00:23:54.079 --> 00:23:57.119
And it feels like giving less Fs.
00:23:57.279 --> 00:23:57.680
Yes.
00:23:57.839 --> 00:24:01.839
Because by giving less Fs, we're telling ourselves, oh no, I'm okay.
00:24:02.000 --> 00:24:02.960
Yeah, I'm okay.
00:24:03.039 --> 00:24:04.400
And not everyone has to like me.
00:24:04.480 --> 00:24:08.079
And my my intuition is actually right, or I like the way I feel.
00:24:10.160 --> 00:24:10.720
Yes.
00:24:10.960 --> 00:24:14.000
Like literally, I just think of like my brain feels like lighter.
00:24:14.160 --> 00:24:15.440
Like it doesn't like you know what I mean?
00:24:15.839 --> 00:24:19.599
Not thinking about like this F, this F that like I don't care about the Fs.
00:24:19.839 --> 00:24:20.319
Yes.
00:24:20.640 --> 00:24:25.440
So get out of my head and space, and I'm gonna trust my instincts.
00:24:25.519 --> 00:24:27.359
And I think that's a great way to wrap us up here.
00:24:27.599 --> 00:24:27.920
Agree.
00:24:28.079 --> 00:24:32.720
Um, and remember, after every breakdown, don't forget the bubbles.
00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:42.079
And if you guys have been enjoying bubbles and breakdowns, gosh, we're coming up on a year here, and I would love to see a lot more follows, a lot more listens.
00:24:42.240 --> 00:24:52.799
So take the time today, share this with someone that you think they need to dial up their inner voice that maybe they've been shushing quite a bit, and help bolster some confidence, hope maybe spark an idea or two.
00:24:52.880 --> 00:24:56.319
That's what we're trying to do is just share our thoughts with you all.
00:24:56.400 --> 00:24:58.960
So thanks for tuning in, and we'll catch you next time.
00:24:59.119 --> 00:24:59.519
Thanks.
00:24:59.680 --> 00:25:00.079
Bye.
00:25:00.240 --> 00:25:00.880
Cheers.
00:00:13.039 --> 00:00:21.600
Welcome to Bubbles and Breakdowns, a space designed for you to show up as your beautifully imperfect self where we dive into the good, the bad, and the bubbly.
00:00:21.679 --> 00:00:22.399
I'm Ashley.
00:00:22.559 --> 00:00:23.920
And I'm Katrina.
00:00:24.079 --> 00:00:28.000
Ashley, have you ever ignored that little voice inside you?
00:00:28.160 --> 00:00:30.399
Only to realize later, hey, guess what?
00:00:30.640 --> 00:00:32.000
It was right all along.
00:00:32.159 --> 00:00:33.200
Ding ding ding.
00:00:33.439 --> 00:00:38.640
If you're a woman in your 40s, chances are you've all had an experience more than once like that.
00:00:38.799 --> 00:00:53.359
Somewhere between raising kids, building a career, caring for our aging parents, supporting a partner, and keeping everyone else's lives running smoothly, it's so easy to lose touch with your own inner voice.
00:00:53.679 --> 00:01:00.479
We become so focused on meeting everyone else's needs that we start second-guessing our own instincts.
00:01:00.960 --> 00:01:12.560
In today's episode, we're talking about why that happens, why your intuition deserves more credit than you may give it, and how maybe we could reconnect with that inner wisdom that's been there all along.
00:01:13.840 --> 00:01:16.000
I have definitely quieted this voice.
00:01:16.319 --> 00:01:18.400
Maybe even like shoved it down.
00:01:18.719 --> 00:01:21.200
Or like, yeah, or was I even born with this?
00:01:21.359 --> 00:01:24.239
Like, no, but why do we stop trusting ourselves?
00:01:24.400 --> 00:01:36.079
I think that's such a big question because I think even trying to raise a little human, little humans now, I try to empower them to say, you know what's right and what's wrong.
00:01:36.239 --> 00:01:36.400
Yeah.
00:01:36.560 --> 00:01:36.799
Right?
00:01:36.959 --> 00:01:38.319
Like, here's your morals.
00:01:38.480 --> 00:01:40.400
But like, where did that end for me?
00:01:40.560 --> 00:01:50.480
I'm like, I've always been that validation person who goes, I'm gonna call my five my top five on my space and validate, like, should I do this?
00:01:50.560 --> 00:01:50.959
Should I do that?
00:01:51.280 --> 00:01:51.680
I don't even know.
00:01:52.719 --> 00:01:56.319
Yes, I've always been that, but again, this 40.
00:01:56.799 --> 00:01:58.640
I'm like put setting that aside.
00:01:58.879 --> 00:02:07.200
Yeah, it's so crazy to me because I sit here and I reflect on all the times that maybe I should have listened to my inner voice and I didn't.
00:02:07.280 --> 00:02:14.000
And I think about a lot of um, you know, relationships when I was younger of like this guy's bad news.
00:02:14.240 --> 00:02:20.879
And I would just kind of push through and then ultimately it would end in my heartache or being upset to some degree.
00:02:21.120 --> 00:02:26.240
And and I just don't think that that's gonna support us long term, you know?
00:02:26.479 --> 00:02:43.680
And I don't know, it's like we give up these inner voices in a way of just immediate maybe satisfaction, if that makes sense, of like, oh, that's too difficult, or yeah, I know you're right, I shouldn't even think about doing this, but I'm gonna just do it anyway.
00:02:43.919 --> 00:02:52.639
And that's when I think we start getting like I don't know, our self-confidence starts to go down and we start to really second guess ourselves even more, if that makes sense.
00:02:53.280 --> 00:02:53.840
Absolutely.
00:02:54.000 --> 00:02:55.680
But like, why do we do that?
00:02:55.840 --> 00:03:00.800
Like, I literally think, like, why have I always needed the top five's advice?
00:03:01.520 --> 00:03:02.960
Yeah, it's a fair question.
00:03:03.120 --> 00:03:08.400
Um I don't reach out to a lot of people, so I think we're kind of opposite that way.
00:03:08.879 --> 00:03:18.080
Um I I definitely confide in my husband, and I don't always like it when he disagrees.
00:03:18.800 --> 00:03:19.599
Who does?
00:03:19.759 --> 00:03:28.479
Meaning like I sometimes come to him, Ashley, with this like, okay, here's what I think, and this is how I feel about it, and this is what I think I should do about it.
00:03:28.719 --> 00:03:36.319
And then ultimately I think this is why we're a good partnership, is that he'll mirror back to me an opposing view or a different way.
00:03:36.479 --> 00:03:39.680
And sometimes I'm just like not even ready to receive it.
00:03:39.840 --> 00:03:52.719
Um, but that's kind of the opposite of like sometimes I may even listen to my inner voice too much when I feel like maybe too proud or too solidified in my ways or inflexible in my decision making.
00:03:52.960 --> 00:03:55.439
So I don't know, your top five.
00:03:55.599 --> 00:03:56.560
Tell me what that looks like.
00:03:56.800 --> 00:04:00.240
Well, yeah, and I'm just kind of reflecting, not this is not Ashley today.
00:04:00.400 --> 00:04:12.319
This is Ashley, like in my high school, college 20s generation, even 30s, where I think it might have been something too like reflecting back.
00:04:12.479 --> 00:04:15.520
Like, I didn't really have that.
00:04:16.560 --> 00:04:18.639
I'm gonna try to make an analogy here.
00:04:18.879 --> 00:04:20.639
Um that backboard.
00:04:20.800 --> 00:04:21.920
Like, you know what I mean?
00:04:22.079 --> 00:04:27.120
Like in basketball to like throw things to against like with my parents, right?
00:04:27.279 --> 00:04:33.279
So I think by me going to other people, that net was kind of cast wide.
00:04:33.360 --> 00:04:37.680
Cause I'm like, oh, that's what this person said, but this is what this person said, but this is what this person says.
00:04:38.879 --> 00:04:42.079
And you kind of want that person to agree with you, though, right?
00:04:42.240 --> 00:04:47.600
I think in seeking that, you're seeking validation of like, am I making the right choice?
00:04:47.920 --> 00:04:48.560
Right.
00:04:49.279 --> 00:04:52.000
And at some point you just have to trust yourself.
00:04:52.160 --> 00:04:52.319
Yeah.
00:04:52.639 --> 00:04:56.879
And I don't think I trusted myself until I got like married.
00:04:57.120 --> 00:05:02.000
And that's I think that's an appropriate age though, because like you got married when you were what, 30?
00:05:02.800 --> 00:05:03.920
When did I have my baby?
00:05:04.160 --> 00:05:04.560
28.
00:05:04.959 --> 00:05:06.399
No, I was like mid-30s.
00:05:06.560 --> 00:05:06.959
Mid-30s.
00:05:07.120 --> 00:05:07.519
33?
00:05:07.680 --> 00:05:08.000
Yeah, yeah.
00:05:08.079 --> 00:05:08.160
Okay.
00:05:08.240 --> 00:05:08.720
So I got married.
00:05:08.959 --> 00:05:10.800
I was geriatric pregnancy at some point.
00:05:10.959 --> 00:05:13.360
So both of mine were geriatric, right?
00:05:13.519 --> 00:05:19.439
But I I think I got married when I was 25, and I felt like I don't know.
00:05:19.600 --> 00:05:22.319
I felt like I could make my decisions for myself.
00:05:22.480 --> 00:05:31.279
Where I struggle with this is I think in the absence of listening to our inner voice, like listening, okay, hearing it is one thing.
00:05:31.439 --> 00:05:31.600
Right.
00:05:31.839 --> 00:05:31.920
Right?
00:05:32.079 --> 00:05:35.439
Like we hear ourselves talk all day long and sometimes.
00:05:36.399 --> 00:05:36.639
I know.
00:05:36.720 --> 00:05:38.879
I'm like Quiet down back there.
00:05:39.519 --> 00:05:41.120
Do I have a mute button?
00:05:41.279 --> 00:05:42.240
Yeah, do I have a mute button?
00:05:42.480 --> 00:05:42.959
For myself?
00:05:43.120 --> 00:05:43.519
Exactly.
00:05:43.759 --> 00:05:46.079
I wish my inner voice has been drinking today.
00:05:46.319 --> 00:05:47.519
You know, like that's just shut it up.
00:05:48.160 --> 00:05:53.439
It's a real thing, but like there's a difference between hearing it and listening to it.
00:05:53.680 --> 00:05:54.399
Oh, yes.
00:05:54.639 --> 00:05:59.360
And and I think about times like when did I listen to my inner voice?
00:06:00.240 --> 00:06:04.160
And here's the other thing, too, that's it interesting about this.
00:06:04.399 --> 00:06:13.680
If we've listened to our inner voice and we've acted, did we ever really go back and realize was it a good decision or a bad decision by listening to our inner voice?
00:06:13.759 --> 00:06:14.800
Or do we just kind of move on?
00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:16.639
And I think I'm the kind of person that just moves on.
00:06:16.800 --> 00:06:19.600
So I don't even know if my inner voice is leading me in the right place.
00:06:19.759 --> 00:06:21.839
Like, is my intuition strong all the time?
00:06:21.920 --> 00:06:22.079
Right.
00:06:22.240 --> 00:06:25.439
Because you're just kind of in your head, totally just going.
00:06:25.920 --> 00:06:31.199
Again, this depends where you're maturity-wise with do you care what other people think, right?
00:06:31.360 --> 00:06:36.240
About decisions you're making, or will it impact you socially and how you look?
00:06:36.399 --> 00:06:44.319
Or, you know, and I think that's by going back to this around having this almost advantage in this.
00:06:44.480 --> 00:06:48.959
Like up until I got married, I was very, like I said, I like got like 10 people's opinions.
00:06:49.120 --> 00:06:52.240
And then it made it that much harder though for me to make my own choice.
00:06:52.399 --> 00:06:52.480
Right.
00:06:52.720 --> 00:06:58.720
Because now I have this like popular opinion out there, and I don't I trust myself even less, right?
00:06:58.879 --> 00:07:01.600
It's almost that bad to gauge the audience.
00:07:01.839 --> 00:07:07.920
Like it almost dilutes your feelings because now you're taking on the opinions of others, which causes second guessing.
00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:08.160
Right.
00:07:08.319 --> 00:07:15.279
Now you're crowdsourcing maybe your emotions away because you're never gonna listen to yourself if you're listening to everyone else.
00:07:15.439 --> 00:07:26.000
And I think that that's a really, really important point is how many times do we just like sit and check in with ourselves and say, okay, how does this feel in my body?
00:07:26.240 --> 00:07:29.279
Like, how does this, if I were to make this decision?
00:07:29.360 --> 00:07:30.720
And it's actually funny, Ashley.
00:07:30.800 --> 00:07:35.920
Like these are questions that I asked my husband recently as he made a really big career decision.
00:07:36.079 --> 00:07:38.319
And I said, Okay, I want you to close your eyes.
00:07:38.399 --> 00:07:40.720
And he's of course maybe like eye roll to me.
00:07:40.800 --> 00:07:43.279
I'm like, Not this again, not this again.
00:07:43.360 --> 00:07:44.560
I'm like, you're the only one.
00:07:44.720 --> 00:07:45.519
Are we manifesting?
00:07:45.680 --> 00:07:47.439
Are we man meditating or what are we doing?
00:07:47.680 --> 00:07:49.680
He's like, Nix, this woo-woo BS.
00:07:49.920 --> 00:07:58.879
But I mean this, and I think that this is something that I need to do more of, Ashley, which is envision yourself at a crossroads, and this can go one of two ways.
00:07:59.120 --> 00:08:00.800
I'm thinking like Robert Frost.
00:08:00.959 --> 00:08:01.600
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna go.
00:08:01.759 --> 00:08:02.639
The road not taken.
00:08:02.800 --> 00:08:04.480
Oh, yes, the road not taken.
00:08:04.639 --> 00:08:05.600
Yes, yes, yes.
00:08:05.759 --> 00:08:16.480
It's kind of like your parallel lives laid out in front of you, and you go down this path of making the decision that's in line in alignment with your intuition, your gut, how does that feel in your body?
00:08:16.639 --> 00:08:20.000
Are you proud of what you did or are you not, are you nervous?
00:08:20.319 --> 00:08:21.120
What are those feelings?
00:08:21.279 --> 00:08:27.600
And the other road is status quo, you're gonna stay kind of doing the same thing and shush your inner voice, right?
00:08:27.920 --> 00:08:31.839
And if it and then I said, Okay, so now speed up one year from now.
00:08:32.000 --> 00:08:38.960
And if you were to look back and you didn't make the choice that felt good in your body, how are you gonna feel about yourself?
00:08:39.120 --> 00:08:39.600
Are you proud?
00:08:39.919 --> 00:08:40.879
Are you proud of yourself?
00:08:41.039 --> 00:08:44.480
And he was like, No, I'd be very mad at myself.
00:08:44.799 --> 00:08:47.360
I said, Well, you have your answer.
00:08:48.159 --> 00:08:52.080
And he did make a really big decision to change his career.
00:08:52.879 --> 00:08:58.080
And that type of so for that for me, I took a very, I don't know, neutral stance.
00:08:58.159 --> 00:09:10.799
So when you talk about crowdsourcing, like I don't really want in my rip my partnership with Matt to be a contributing factor for some decisions that don't necessarily directly impact my well-being.
00:09:11.279 --> 00:09:20.080
Like his career is luckily we're in a place where we can afford to, you know, change careers and make some decisions as are you and and Brad.
00:09:20.480 --> 00:09:24.399
But at the same time, I'm like, I don't want what I'm gonna say change what you want to do.
00:09:24.480 --> 00:09:30.639
I actually want you to tap into your inner voice, and I want you to focus on how it feels for you.
00:09:30.799 --> 00:09:33.039
So I don't think many people do that for us.
00:09:33.360 --> 00:09:33.759
Yeah, you know.
00:09:33.919 --> 00:09:34.399
No, I agree.
00:09:34.480 --> 00:09:41.519
And you know, it just got me thinking too a little bit about when this kind of changed for my life.
00:09:41.759 --> 00:09:45.919
Also, having kids, I feel like talk about advice, right?
00:09:46.080 --> 00:09:50.000
Like I'm sure we all know we've heard you gotta do this, no, you gotta do this.
00:09:50.080 --> 00:09:56.320
Like, and then you get the people that just say, you are the right mother for that child.
00:09:57.440 --> 00:09:58.639
You know what to do.
00:09:58.879 --> 00:10:00.559
Isn't that the best advice you ever got?
00:10:00.799 --> 00:10:01.120
Totally.
00:10:01.279 --> 00:10:03.440
I think it's it really stops.
00:10:03.679 --> 00:10:08.559
It makes you think, though, that you're like, trust your instincts here.
00:10:09.039 --> 00:10:14.480
You know, like obviously, there's like legit questions like how many scoops of formula do I do, right?
00:10:14.559 --> 00:10:23.440
Like things like you need to know, but like the ones that are more loving and more questions of that, and just like you gotta follow your gut.
00:10:23.600 --> 00:10:33.279
And I think, you know, getting married, having children, that's when I started to be like, I'm trusting myself because I'm making these huge decisions that a life depends on.
00:10:33.519 --> 00:10:40.639
And from that, I think that was kind of my first like I am trusting myself more, if that makes sense.
00:10:40.720 --> 00:10:43.360
Like, obviously, you pull the room because I've always a room poller.
00:10:43.600 --> 00:10:46.879
But like today, now I rarely do that anymore.
00:10:47.120 --> 00:10:53.919
Yeah, because now you're through your life experience, you've got all this track record, and you're like, okay, I have the confidence to make it.
00:10:54.080 --> 00:11:04.320
And I'm trying to think now, like, so we know that at this point in our lives, being of a certain age, wink wink, um and getting older by every day.
00:11:04.639 --> 00:11:06.399
We've been fairly successful, right?
00:11:06.559 --> 00:11:13.120
Navigating, like we have time and and a track record, and we've proven ourselves to be able to trust ourselves more.
00:11:13.600 --> 00:11:23.120
I think we should be vulnerable right now, Ashley, and just say, what is something that we are toggling with, right?
00:11:23.519 --> 00:11:27.600
That we maybe are quieting our inner voice on.
00:11:28.240 --> 00:11:33.919
And I mean, I could start maybe with um with something that I think about daily.
00:11:34.320 --> 00:11:35.519
Um spill.
00:11:35.759 --> 00:11:36.000
Yeah.
00:11:37.200 --> 00:11:38.159
Well, okay.
00:11:38.320 --> 00:11:39.840
So I'm like nervous now.
00:11:40.159 --> 00:11:44.240
This one, okay, so this isn't as vulnerable as it could be, but I think it's very real.
00:11:44.399 --> 00:11:44.720
Okay.
00:11:44.960 --> 00:11:47.600
And it has been a challenge for me.
00:11:48.240 --> 00:11:54.639
I injured my back um as I was getting ready to run this half marathon back in May.
00:11:54.960 --> 00:11:59.120
And I still ran the half marathon, and it has not resolved since.
00:11:59.440 --> 00:12:06.720
I have been to a chiropractor, I've been doing stretches, I've been doing my own like at-home PT, going on walks, not running.
00:12:07.360 --> 00:12:15.519
I got a new office chair, and I know my inner voice knows all that stuff is not gonna work.
00:12:15.840 --> 00:12:21.279
And I keep trying to make it work, and I keep being like, but tomorrow it's gonna be better.
00:12:21.519 --> 00:12:22.639
Tomorrow it's gonna be better.
00:12:22.799 --> 00:12:30.960
All of a sudden I keep thinking, and here we are, two plus months post when I heard it, Ashley, and I'm like, oh, but it's just gonna figure itself out.
00:12:31.120 --> 00:12:32.240
I will get better.
00:12:32.480 --> 00:12:42.480
And this morning I went for a three-mile walk before the day started, and I don't know, more than half of it was in pain, and it was hurting more and more as I was going.
00:12:42.799 --> 00:12:47.759
And I'm like, I know my inner voice is yelling at me, like, you need to do something about this.
00:12:48.000 --> 00:12:49.279
Have you been to a doctor?
00:12:49.519 --> 00:12:49.840
Okay.
00:12:51.279 --> 00:12:52.240
This is the thing.
00:12:52.399 --> 00:12:54.159
I did book an orthopedic.
00:12:54.240 --> 00:12:54.480
Okay.
00:12:54.639 --> 00:13:02.240
And then my chiropractor was like, Well, you can go to an orthopedic, but all they're gonna do is tell you to take ibuprofen and charge you$300.
00:13:02.879 --> 00:13:06.399
And I was like, Well, they could do x-rays and an MRI and see if you have slip disc.
00:13:07.759 --> 00:13:12.639
And I don't think I do have a slip disk, but I think I wouldn't even be able to walk very well to the point where I am.
00:13:12.799 --> 00:13:22.559
But there is something going on, and so this is what I'm saying is like, and not only that, did it quiet my inner voice of I already had the appointment scheduled, and then that chiropractor said that, and then I cancel it.
00:13:22.639 --> 00:13:38.399
So now I'm still ignoring my intuition and replacing it with who I think, who I trust, who I have gone to over the years and had success navigating back challenges, but I've been four times to the chiropractor and it gets better for a little bit, and then it's right back, right?
00:13:38.639 --> 00:13:49.360
So I am like being very bold to say here, I am doing it wrong, and I need to listen to that inner voice that says you need another expert's opinion.
00:13:49.519 --> 00:13:53.919
And I'm at that point where I'm like, okay, it's time to really start listening to my inner voice.
00:13:54.159 --> 00:13:54.799
Trust it.
00:13:55.039 --> 00:13:55.440
Yeah.
00:13:55.679 --> 00:13:57.120
So that's like one example.
00:13:57.279 --> 00:13:59.519
I mean, I'm sure I could come up with like a litany of others.
00:13:59.600 --> 00:14:00.559
Have you thought of any?
00:14:00.799 --> 00:14:06.320
Yeah, I guess I have, but I feel like all of mine are just like on the back burner in a weird way.
00:14:06.559 --> 00:14:11.600
Like I feel like I'm so just stay-at-home momming and like, oh my god, what's for dinner?
00:14:11.679 --> 00:14:15.039
Let's go, like, and which is like literally it's the best job on earth.
00:14:15.120 --> 00:14:17.600
Like, I'm I'm so happy, but it's just it's a lot sometimes.
00:14:17.759 --> 00:14:19.039
Yeah, it takes your brain over.
00:14:19.440 --> 00:14:20.559
And like, I don't even know.
00:14:20.720 --> 00:14:23.279
I thought I was like have time, and I just don't have time.
00:14:23.360 --> 00:14:23.600
Yeah.
00:14:23.759 --> 00:14:32.159
But um, in the back of my mind is always when I go back to work, what am I gonna do?
00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:41.360
And this is one where I don't know if I could talk to anyone else about this.
00:14:41.519 --> 00:14:45.279
Like I can, but I think that you're the only one that knows.
00:14:45.440 --> 00:14:45.759
Correct.
00:14:46.399 --> 00:14:50.399
Knows your career, knows your skills, knows your track record, what you liked, what you didn't.
00:14:50.639 --> 00:14:51.039
Exactly.
00:14:51.200 --> 00:14:53.279
And you can't even spend so much time telling people.
00:14:53.600 --> 00:14:54.480
Right, but it's tough.
00:14:54.879 --> 00:15:01.120
No, have being in one field, even though it's such a broad field, marketing, my entire career.
00:15:01.759 --> 00:15:03.360
That's what I know for work.
00:15:03.519 --> 00:15:03.759
Right.
00:15:04.080 --> 00:15:06.639
And like that's what I enjoyed sometimes, sometimes not.
00:15:06.799 --> 00:15:08.559
But who enjoyed their job the whole time?
00:15:08.720 --> 00:15:16.799
But you know, it's one of those things where it's like also marketing changes so quickly, so fast, and I'm gonna be out of the game for a while, right?
00:15:17.279 --> 00:15:22.480
Um, but then I could put a chat GPT prompt in and say, What have I missed in the last two years?
00:15:22.559 --> 00:15:26.320
Give me a download and I'll just pretend like I know what the hell I'm doing.
00:15:26.480 --> 00:15:30.480
Um, but you know, it's one of those things that like that doesn't haunt me.
00:15:30.639 --> 00:15:34.480
I think that's too strong of a word, but it definitely is lingering on the back of my mind.
00:15:34.559 --> 00:15:47.919
And it's kind of one thing that this is where I'm almost thinking, now looking back on this, where I am in my life, I know this is my own choice of what I'm gonna seek to get into next.
00:15:48.080 --> 00:15:48.240
Yeah.
00:15:48.399 --> 00:15:50.799
And like people can guide you, people can say, Oh, you're so good at this.
00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:51.679
Have you thought of this?
00:15:51.759 --> 00:15:51.919
Yeah.
00:15:52.159 --> 00:15:57.919
To kind of spark your ideas, but this is something that I know it's gonna be my decision, right?
00:15:58.080 --> 00:16:02.720
And it also kind of scares the hell out of me because it's a lot of pressure.
00:16:02.879 --> 00:16:03.279
Yes.
00:16:03.519 --> 00:16:10.879
It's a very like lucky place to be, but it is a lot of pressure when you are like, Oh, and by the way, here's your new pen, Ashley.
00:16:10.960 --> 00:16:12.720
Please write your own destiny of your career.
00:16:12.799 --> 00:16:15.519
And it's like it's a blank page staring back at you.
00:16:15.679 --> 00:16:16.080
Right.
00:16:16.320 --> 00:16:26.639
And I do, I do think you're right in the sense of like you don't have the time to really listen to your inner voice right now, but you also aren't at the point where you have to make that decision today.
00:16:26.799 --> 00:16:29.519
And it's like, you know, so it's gonna be on the back burn.
00:16:29.759 --> 00:16:30.000
Totally.
00:16:30.159 --> 00:16:30.240
Right.
00:16:30.639 --> 00:16:31.360
But it's brewing.
00:16:31.519 --> 00:16:32.799
It's brewing, it's simmering.
00:16:32.960 --> 00:16:35.600
Kids are only getting older and going to the next year's school.
00:16:35.679 --> 00:16:37.039
So I I will go back.
00:16:37.200 --> 00:16:39.200
I just don't know what that looks like.
00:16:39.360 --> 00:16:39.600
Yeah.
00:16:39.759 --> 00:16:41.039
Um, but I don't know.
00:16:41.279 --> 00:16:43.759
Well, let's talk about a little bit like shifting.
00:16:44.000 --> 00:16:44.240
Yes.
00:16:44.480 --> 00:16:48.799
What are some ways we can start strengthening strengthening, excuse me, our intuition?
00:16:48.960 --> 00:16:51.600
Like I we talked about, we have this advantage now.
00:16:51.840 --> 00:16:55.120
I think it's a huge advantage of knowing ourselves.
00:16:55.279 --> 00:16:55.600
Yes.
00:16:55.840 --> 00:16:59.039
We've had this more like life experience, right?
00:16:59.360 --> 00:17:08.000
We also understand like the patterns we've lived through and can experience that and recognize this is a good decision, right?
00:17:08.160 --> 00:17:08.400
Right.
00:17:08.559 --> 00:17:11.200
But how do we strengthen that on day-to-day, right?
00:17:11.279 --> 00:17:14.240
Like I know you mentioned like take some time with yourself.
00:17:14.559 --> 00:17:23.279
I think that self-reflection, self-checking in is such a skill that's underutilized for so many things in life.
00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:24.240
You know what I mean?
00:17:24.400 --> 00:17:25.440
So I guess I'll start there.
00:17:25.519 --> 00:17:30.559
Like you said, we'll reiterate that and just like I think taking that time without noise.
00:17:30.960 --> 00:17:33.279
Yeah, don't play music in the background.
00:17:33.920 --> 00:17:41.519
I have gotten into such a bad habit of like not putting in my AirPods and like doing something, but it's like I'm not thinking.
00:17:41.759 --> 00:17:44.240
I think I'm just like robotting through life, you know?
00:17:44.400 --> 00:17:44.640
Yes.
00:17:44.880 --> 00:17:51.839
Um, going from the one task to the next, and there's constant inputs, constant learning, constant communication, whatever that looks like.
00:17:52.079 --> 00:17:54.000
And like that should be maybe my reflection time.
00:17:54.319 --> 00:17:55.440
And I'm not taking advantage.
00:17:55.599 --> 00:17:55.920
What else?
00:17:56.000 --> 00:17:59.759
What do you what else do you think we can do to like strengthen our intuition?
00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:05.839
Yeah, it's interesting because I do think we need quiet moments in order to listen.
00:18:06.079 --> 00:18:28.799
And then I would take it that next step, which is going back a little bit to the example with with Matt, which is having an intention of what you want to hear during that time, which means if there is something that you've been back burning and it's kind of driving you nuts and scratching your brain, don't just have a quiet moment and zone out.
00:18:29.039 --> 00:18:47.039
Have a quiet moment and do some visualization, you know, do some thinking through and and, you know, even if you're just sitting down staring at the window or outside, I think nature is like so, so, so uh amazing to tap into our inner voice or something for me.
00:18:47.200 --> 00:18:49.680
They say 40% of people are inspired by nature.
00:18:49.839 --> 00:19:05.839
I definitely am one of them, but I think there's something beautiful about like, I don't know, looking at places that are bigger than yourselves and feeling a bit small and inconsequential that then even further emphasizes the how not important these decisions really are.
00:19:06.079 --> 00:19:07.279
It's a good point, you know?
00:19:07.440 --> 00:19:09.759
And so I think having perspective is helpful.
00:19:10.240 --> 00:19:11.839
Journaling can be helpful.
00:19:12.000 --> 00:19:26.880
I think, you know, even with like your career conundrum that will be approaching in the next X months or years, is that you won't know until you start doing the work, meaning the work to find the job.
00:19:27.039 --> 00:19:27.359
Right.
00:19:27.519 --> 00:19:34.240
And you may even go to a new place and find out that it's not for you and you can quit.
00:19:34.400 --> 00:19:43.279
And I think there's some real big beauty in realizing our decisions always can feel permanent, but every decision is actually temporary.
00:19:44.480 --> 00:19:56.799
That is beautiful, and I think that that kind of lends itself, I would say, also to your instincts in a in a way around you're making these decisions, right?
00:19:57.039 --> 00:20:00.960
That are just sort of like a fleeting moment.
00:20:01.200 --> 00:20:06.079
There's gonna always be a next decision, but sometimes you're right.
00:20:06.880 --> 00:20:13.599
Most of the times I think as we get older, we're just or and right being you're comfortable in the decision that you made.
00:20:13.759 --> 00:20:14.319
Right.
00:20:14.720 --> 00:20:21.920
And I think there's really power in owning that and making sure that you're present.
00:20:22.079 --> 00:20:24.960
Like you said, give yourself time to think and journal.
00:20:25.039 --> 00:20:27.440
I feel like I've heard so many benefits too about journaling.
00:20:27.519 --> 00:20:27.680
Yeah.
00:20:27.920 --> 00:20:33.039
And just like free, do you even like before you go to bed think of really good things like, oh, I gotta remember that.
00:20:33.119 --> 00:20:34.079
You never remember it.
00:20:34.480 --> 00:20:35.279
You never remember it.
00:20:35.519 --> 00:20:37.359
No, no, if you don't write it down, right?
00:20:37.440 --> 00:20:42.640
There's something so freeing about that and being in the moment that kind of ties you together.
00:20:42.880 --> 00:20:43.359
I love that.
00:20:43.519 --> 00:20:49.039
And and you know, but but I even go back to this whole don't be afraid to make a mistake.
00:20:49.200 --> 00:20:54.960
I think that this, oh, I need to make the perfect decision, or I have to make the right decision.
00:20:55.200 --> 00:20:56.079
Guess what?
00:20:56.240 --> 00:20:58.400
There can be three different right decisions.
00:20:58.640 --> 00:21:02.400
And it ultimately you could, like I said, you can make that decision.
00:21:02.480 --> 00:21:04.559
Then you can say, oh, actually, this isn't the job for me.
00:21:04.640 --> 00:21:07.119
Back to the job boards while you're still there.
00:21:07.279 --> 00:21:12.319
You know, we also have to make decisions that sometimes are based out of complete necessity in our lives.
00:21:12.480 --> 00:21:18.559
You know, maybe you're having a mental breakdown and your job is pushing you to full exhaustion.
00:21:18.720 --> 00:21:22.799
It is time to take care of yourself and figure out a way out, right?
00:21:23.359 --> 00:21:28.720
Or you really need to go back to work sooner than you thought because you got in a financial bind.
00:21:28.880 --> 00:21:31.920
Like those are out of necessity decisions.
00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:47.440
And we're not giving advice on out of necessity decisions because a lot of times these being able to listen to our inner voice comes from a place of privilege and being able to, you know, go in different directions and not have a huge risk.
00:21:47.680 --> 00:21:58.400
But I think at the end of the day, to your point, it's it does come from making moves without having the full picture.
00:21:58.880 --> 00:22:12.559
You know, even though you had your top five, even though I have a quote unquote expert in back pain telling me to not go to the orthopedic doctor, maybe he's wrong.
00:22:13.200 --> 00:22:22.160
And so I think we have to make the decision that feels right for us in the absence of the perfect decision, right?
00:22:22.400 --> 00:22:24.079
Because it actually doesn't exist.
00:22:24.400 --> 00:22:24.960
Totally.
00:22:25.200 --> 00:22:30.559
And and that's where I think that beautiful, I don't know, you ever see like those older women?
00:22:30.720 --> 00:22:35.440
I think of women particularly because it's what I tend to like uh want to embody one day.
00:22:35.599 --> 00:22:39.759
And you just see them kind of like walking around being a badass.
00:22:39.839 --> 00:22:41.920
Like maybe they've got some funky Oh, you mean us now?
00:22:42.000 --> 00:22:42.720
Oh yeah, it's us.
00:22:42.880 --> 00:22:57.039
But I'm talking about myself, but no, like they're like maybe, I don't know, owning a coffee shop and they've got this like funky jewelry, or maybe they're like running an art gallery and they've got like the big red glasses, and like they are fully themselves, right?
00:22:57.519 --> 00:23:06.559
And I think with that, what what's so amazing about it is they don't waffle like no, like maybe in your middle life or early, earlier 30s.
00:23:06.960 --> 00:23:08.000
I was a waffler.
00:23:08.319 --> 00:23:14.079
Yeah, they don't waffle, they walk with confidence, they have assertiveness in the decisions that they make.
00:23:14.240 --> 00:23:20.960
They they can quickly say yes or no, and by the way, not feel bad when they say no, right?
00:23:21.279 --> 00:23:32.960
And that I think is where I'd love to get to in my life is that where I can move through life, really trusting it, not being rude or discouraging or discounting others' feelings.
00:23:33.119 --> 00:23:47.759
Of course, I want to be a good person, but I do think that there is this moment that I hope to get to that I just feel more of myself, um, more embodying what I want to embody.
00:23:47.920 --> 00:23:49.680
And I think I am getting there.
00:23:49.839 --> 00:23:50.559
I'm getting there.
00:23:50.640 --> 00:23:54.000
Like I'm given way less Fs about what people think about me.
00:23:54.079 --> 00:23:57.119
And it feels like giving less Fs.
00:23:57.279 --> 00:23:57.680
Yes.
00:23:57.839 --> 00:24:01.839
Because by giving less Fs, we're telling ourselves, oh no, I'm okay.
00:24:02.000 --> 00:24:02.960
Yeah, I'm okay.
00:24:03.039 --> 00:24:04.400
And not everyone has to like me.
00:24:04.480 --> 00:24:08.079
And my my intuition is actually right, or I like the way I feel.
00:24:10.160 --> 00:24:10.720
Yes.
00:24:10.960 --> 00:24:14.000
Like literally, I just think of like my brain feels like lighter.
00:24:14.160 --> 00:24:15.440
Like it doesn't like you know what I mean?
00:24:15.839 --> 00:24:19.599
Not thinking about like this F, this F that like I don't care about the Fs.
00:24:19.839 --> 00:24:20.319
Yes.
00:24:20.640 --> 00:24:25.440
So get out of my head and space, and I'm gonna trust my instincts.
00:24:25.519 --> 00:24:27.359
And I think that's a great way to wrap us up here.
00:24:27.599 --> 00:24:27.920
Agree.
00:24:28.079 --> 00:24:32.720
Um, and remember, after every breakdown, don't forget the bubbles.
00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:42.079
And if you guys have been enjoying bubbles and breakdowns, gosh, we're coming up on a year here, and I would love to see a lot more follows, a lot more listens.
00:24:42.240 --> 00:24:52.799
So take the time today, share this with someone that you think they need to dial up their inner voice that maybe they've been shushing quite a bit, and help bolster some confidence, hope maybe spark an idea or two.
00:24:52.880 --> 00:24:56.319
That's what we're trying to do is just share our thoughts with you all.
00:24:56.400 --> 00:24:58.960
So thanks for tuning in, and we'll catch you next time.
00:24:59.119 --> 00:24:59.519
Thanks.
00:24:59.680 --> 00:25:00.079
Bye.
00:25:00.240 --> 00:25:00.880
Cheers.
