EP 40 The Bold Ask: Receiving What You Desire

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Welcome to Beyond, where denying your greatness is a thing of the past and next level confidence, success, and purpose are the standard.
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I'm Katie Lynn, elite identity coach, host, and your personal hype woman.
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I am here to inspire you out of your comfort zone.
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Today is the day you redesign your mindset and unlock the greatness that's already inside you.
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Because your next level, it's not one day, it's today.
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Let's go beyond.
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Today on Beyond, we have the incredible Hinna Khan, the go-to peak performance mindset coach for CEOs, executives, and entrepreneurs.
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With over two decades of experience, Hinna has transformed the lives of thousands of people globally.
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Combining peak performance with spirituality and leveraging her background as a former psychotherapist, Hina guides her clients to create lives they love, rich in ease, joy, and fun.
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Through her curated Amplify You framework, Hinna's clients have turned their annual income into their monthly income, deepened their relationships, moved into their dream homes, started businesses, and achieved so much more.
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As a sought-after expert, Hinna frequently appears on national TV shows, magazines, keynotes, podcasts, including her own show, Possibilities with Hina Khan.
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And she is also the best-selling author of A Return to You.
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For Hinna, this is not just a business, this is a mission.
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And she's here to help us discover how to elevate our lives and our careers with ease, joy, and fun.
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Hinna, thank you so much for being here.
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Even just reading that, I'm like, isn't it obvious why Hannah had to be on the podcast?
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It's so obvious.
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I am so thrilled to be here, Katie.
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Thank you.
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Yes, yes.
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So as I was sharing before we pressed record, I recently met you in person through at your event uh up in Whistler, Canada.
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And I was watching you speak on stage and engaging with the incredible females in your community.
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And I was really taken aback by how it's almost like Henna floats.
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She doesn't walk, she like floats on this beautiful frequency of peace and love and presence.
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And as I heard you share on stage, there was a moment where you spoke about boldness.
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And I said, wow, this is the first time I have experienced the concept of boldness floating in on like this beautiful, peaceful, feminine raft, I would say, right?
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Like I feel like when I've heard boldness be talked about before, it's very in your face and it's like bold and it's loud and it's um really like almost like uh what's the word I'm looking for?
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It's like shocking, right?
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It's like as if bold has to be shocking.
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And when you talked about boldness, um my system relaxed.
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My nervous system relaxed.
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And I thought, that's there's something there.
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So can you share more about your idea of boldness?
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Oh, thank you for asking the question, Katie, because I had never really thought about it in the way that you described it.
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As you were describing it, I was thinking about how we are used to hearing about being bold.
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And when it comes to women being bold, there can be this negative connotation to it, almost like we're being aggressive, too out there, taking up too much space.
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Who do we think we are?
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And when we think of boldness, we might think of it as something that would be off-putting.
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And the way that I was describing it at the retreat in Whistler was this idea of incorporating bold requests, making bold asks in how you show up, even what your expectations are.
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So bold requests and bold asks can be of things that we would desire to experience in our lives, like maybe there's that person that we would love to have on our podcast, or an ask that we have of a business, another business owner, or a proposal that we want to put out.
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It could be in that way.
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It could even be in the way of a bold ask of what do we need?
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What do we need for ourselves to be able to thrive?
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A bold ask could even be how could this be easy?
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How could this be easier?
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A bold ask of so it could be bold asks of ourselves that we are presenting to ourselves, and then bold asks to the external where we are putting ourselves out there.
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And we're doing it in a way that's in harmony with who we are being and our self-image.
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And in order to do this, though, we must have a self-image that can manage the response.
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Because sometimes we're going to put out bold asks and we may get an we may not get the response that we want.
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Uh, we may get a no.
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And many times we don't want to make the ask because we're afraid of the no.
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Of course, the no is already guaranteed if we don't ask.
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Yes.
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That's the interesting part of it, right?
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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So you must have, did you say, a self-image that is prepared to receive the response to the bold ask?
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Can you say more about that?
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Yes, for sure.
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So especially for women, our self-image many times is one that we're conditioned to be people pleasing.
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We're conditioned to actually not to ask for too much because there's this idea that we're being greedy or you know, we think that we're all that.
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So again, it's this negative connotation that's part of our self-image.
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So if we're going to make an ask and then we get a no back, we may interpret that no and give meaning to the no as see, I was too much.
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See, I clearly um should not be asking for this kind of thing uh that I want.
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I can't have it.
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Oh my gosh, I was being too greedy and asking for it.
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So it's how we will hear the response.
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And we will hear the response through the meaning that we're giving it, and we're giving the meaning through our self-image and our self-images, our stories and our standards.
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So we can be affirming that making bold requests is actually a bad thing.
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Now, another person could get a no.
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I received one today, and be like, okay, perfect, great.
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And it's very neutral, it's not something that we give meaning to that defines whether we are good or bad, or whether our ask was positive or negative.
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And that has to do with our self-image, because I know that the response doesn't make me.
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Just like, you know, the response doesn't make me or break me.
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But you've got to come to a place of confidence with that.
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Yes, yes.
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And how would you say if if I'm somebody and I'm listening and I'm going, okay, well, my next question is, how do I come to confidence with that?
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Yeah.
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And and here's the thing, it's it's in the doing it, right?
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Like I if there was a way to get the confidence without doing it, Katie, I would have, I would have done it.
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I would have done it because putting yourself out there is so terrifying at first.
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And I certainly have been scared and nervous because that's what makes it a big ask, right?
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That's what makes it this unreasonable request, like the audacity to ask this person to speak at your event, or the audacity to ask this person to, you know, look at your proposal.
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And the only way to that is through it.
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And it's through asking it that you acclimatize to even being a person that asks.
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Yes.
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Because right now in your self-image, you might be a person that keeps yourself very small, that dims your light, that is very cautious around what you're doing, like, you know, the crumbs, not asking for too much.
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So, in simply, first of all, in simply contemplating the idea of asking is already maybe a stretch.
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And then to do it.
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So here's a here's a place, Katie, that you can start that you might think, Henna, what the heck does this have to do with anything?
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But I think one of the reasons we don't do it is because we're not connected to what we would love.
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We've been connected to what we think we should love or what other people think we should be doing at the stage or age that we are at in our life.
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So one of the things I suggest is even when you're going to a coffee shop, so much of our life is on autopilot.
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So even if you went and you, before you made your automatic order, you asked yourself, what would I love today?
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Maybe it's something that's different.
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And you and you allow yourself to start to experience what you would love and asking for what you would love.
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So we kind of start in these areas that are inconsequential where the stakes aren't so high, to be able to build up the bandwidth, to then be able to ask for something bigger.
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The other thing is, Katie, is that sometimes like one thing that I thought was an unreasonable ask was when I asked Zanyika, your lovely partner, um, to speak at the Whistler event, which is how we met, my my retreat in Whistler.
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And I remember sometimes you're not gonna ask directly, you're gonna go around and see is there another way that you can ask that gets you out of asking, but you still get to ask.
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So what I did was I first went to Steve Hardison, who's how I know said Yeka.
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And I asked him, and what I was hoping he would say was, Oh, let me just let me organize all of that for you.
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Uh-huh.
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Yes.
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Which I think is what we also do.
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I can relate to this totally of like, okay, well, let me put this, let me drop this here, and it'll ripple out.
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And hopefully the ripples will align and do most of the lifting for me, right?
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You got it.
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That's exactly it.
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Do most of the lifting for me.
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So I asked him in an in an absolute Steve style.
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He's like, Well, you won't know unless you ask him.
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He's amazing.
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Good luck.
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So it's like, yeah, it's so not helpful.
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Like, thanks, Steve.
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Thanks, Steve, for a whole lot of nothing.
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So then, but what I what I do is that I make the request when I have a sliver of courage.
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So again, you can't wait until you feel totally confident.
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It's like you've got that glimmer or that sliver of courage and you've got to pounce on it and act.
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So then I sent him an Instagram uh DM.
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Now, again, I didn't get a response.
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He hadn't seen it.
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I we weren't friends, so I wouldn't have landed in his primary inbox.
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And there's so many opportunities to talk yourself out of it.
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Yes.
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Because then I could say, well, he's too busy, or you know, I tried.
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I tried, right, Katie?
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I tried.
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Yeah.
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And then I'm so then I messaged Steve and I said, Steve, I I did reach out.
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I tried his Instagram.
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I haven't heard from him.
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Would you be comfortable with sharing his contact information?
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So you see, it's not easy, it's not the steps are easy.
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I know how to send a text, but I'm still confronting myself and my own edges.
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Because now I'm going back to Steve and asking him.
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And now I could get a no from Steve saying, Well, I'm not going to share his information.
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Sure.
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Uh, but Steve did, and he's like, loving you both.
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Yes.
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You're both amazing.
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Go for it.
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And so then I I did uh we did connect because of that.
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So that would that's an example of one that was that was done last year.
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And you see, you'd never know where it's gonna lead to.
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And then um, Katie, what was so beautiful was that you came on the retreat as well, and it was over Valentine's Day in Whistler, our retreat.
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And that's how you and I met.
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And now here I'm on your podcast.
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That like that wasn't even on my conscious radar, yeah.
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Yeah.
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Of what can happen when you make a bold request and you put it out there to the world.
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Yeah.
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And I, and it's so beautiful.
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Oh my gosh, I'm so grateful you shared this story and walked us through your process in this because especially we can look out into the world and go, oh, well, it must be easy for her.
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She must make bold requests all the time.
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It's no problem, right?
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And it's like, oh, well, we we actually don't know.
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That's our brain filling in those gaps, right?
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That just making assumptions on our behalf based on our self-image, like you shared earlier.
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And for me, being a part of that retreat was a real nod to me from God saying, Katie, I keep putting you back in these places.
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I keep putting you back in these spaces, right?
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So that was its own curriculum for me around my purpose and my walk in this lifetime with the work that I do.
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And so when I watched you, I was like, oh, God sent Hina as a reminder for me.
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And I and meeting you and hearing you speak was like, oh, everything.
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I'm sitting in the back of the room, nodding my head, like, yes, yes, mm-hmm, yes, and feeling so grateful, right?
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That there are other incredible humans in this world doing this work.
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And the thing that I've noticed, because I started reading your book as well, oh, is I was like, okay, let me, let me read more about, you know, and I signed up for your morning calls, the three that you're doing next week, which they're 3 a.m.
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my time.
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But I'm like, you know what?
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We're gonna go for it.
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You can also, you can also listen to you'll get the recordings.
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You want to make it part of your routine instead of supernormal.
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You know, uh, Katie, we do have people that come on at three.
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I mean I believe it.
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I'm like, wow, that is amazing.
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Yeah, yeah, I believe it.
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Especially as a mom to younger kids, like, you know, we have a three-year-old.
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So if I set it's so funny, this is an aside, but if I set my mind like this morning to wake up earlier than normal, I was gonna wake up at 4 44 in the morning because I had a few things I wanted to do.
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And guess who comes knocking on our door at 4 44?
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Literally, I think it was at 4 41 in the morning, our little toddler comes knocking at the door to climb in bed with us.
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And I'm like, oh my, of course, right?
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But the attunement is a very real thing.
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But um, I I I digress and I come back to this idea of reading the first few chapters of your book because I haven't made it all the way through yet, and realizing that I noticed probably a component of the bold request is also that it's rooted in really bold faith.
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Because I couldn't help but but notice that the first thing you address in your book around like setting the frame, setting the context for the reader is that we live in a world where creation is done.
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And that was like, oh, this is good.
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I'm gonna love I'm gonna love this, right?
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Because I think you said that's Neville Goddard, yes, who I adore.
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And so when I read that, I go, oh, creation is done, which means that it's already available in this moment.
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I get to be bold enough in my actions and in my belief, and be the space, like you said earlier, of like being the recipient of what happens after that bold ask to receive it, and often in a way that pleasantly surprises me because you share a couple stories, and I want people listening to go get your book and read the stories because these stories are gonna touch your heart, and just I was in like tears, right?
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Like just in my eyes reading these stories.
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But I couldn't help but notice that you share your process of how you navigated that by placing reminders in certain places and visualizing every morning and seeing it play out, and then even getting to the point where you thought you got a no on one of them, and then you shared, right?
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You shared honestly your confusion and like maybe even disappointment, right?
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That it didn't happen the way that you thought it was gonna happen.
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And then because you were honest and shared that the the person who had the capacity to turn that no into a yes, turned the no into a yes, and then it happened, but it it had to play out a certain way, right?
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It had to in a way that you didn't see coming.
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And so can you talk and share more with us about what I would call bold faith, but I'm not sure what you would call it, but just this knowing, right, that like this is for me.
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Okay, pause.
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00:18:49.519 --> 00:18:51.119
Yes, I love bold faith.
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I think I might just start calling it that.
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Yeah, I mean that's exactly I was like, she has some bold faith.
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Like it really is.
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And imagine the I just my brain is so visual.
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I imagine the bold faith being the soil, the fertile soil for bold requests and a bold life, right?
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Like a life that's really full, like a garden, a healthy garden, you know.
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And I love that analogy of the healthy garden because when we think about what we're planting and we want to plant with faith, and so many times we we dig it up with doubt.
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Because when we're planting with faith, when when we plant something, because we know of the gestation period and the natural laws in nature, we understand that most of growth happens in the dark.
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Yes.
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Even the baby, your baby, you know, your babies, uh, there it's in the womb in the dark, and we don't see it.
00:20:34.240 --> 00:20:39.680
And that's where um the co co-creative components are coming in under the soil.
00:20:39.840 --> 00:20:42.320
That's where the foundation is being created.
00:20:42.480 --> 00:20:47.360
And we understand that in nature, and what we have to understand is that we are nature, we are nature.
00:20:47.520 --> 00:20:48.320
Yes, we are.
00:20:48.800 --> 00:20:59.440
And it's the same thing that happens with us, and so what Price Pritchett says, which I really love, is that absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
00:20:59.920 --> 00:21:06.800
And that's where bold faith comes in, because just because you can't see it does not mean it is not there.
00:21:07.040 --> 00:21:14.880
We cannot see the apple seed underground, but because we understand the process, we know things are happening.
00:21:15.040 --> 00:21:20.800
And in fact, an apple doesn't look like an apple until the very last part of it.
00:21:21.680 --> 00:21:32.000
So we're looking for that last part, we're looking at it out of order, but it it what creation is finished is means, and I love, love, love Neville.
00:21:32.160 --> 00:21:37.440
He's really that book, Power of Awareness, um, changed my life.
00:21:37.680 --> 00:21:46.320
And what he talks about in the in this idea of creation is finished is that it is finished, it is here in one form or another.
00:21:46.720 --> 00:21:49.520
So be it's simply in a different form.
00:21:49.680 --> 00:22:00.800
And right now, when we have ideas of an idea of a business that we want to create or an idea of um something that we want to do, an idea for our life, our family.
00:22:01.120 --> 00:22:06.720
The minute that we can imagine it, it is already done.
00:22:07.040 --> 00:22:12.560
Because you actually couldn't imagine it if it wasn't here already.
00:22:12.720 --> 00:22:15.280
You wouldn't be consciously aware of it.
00:22:15.520 --> 00:22:17.280
So it's accepting that.
00:22:17.440 --> 00:22:23.759
So normally we have the idea and then we have resistance to the idea, but I can't, but this and that.
00:22:24.240 --> 00:22:35.280
So where bold faith comes in is once we have the idea, we want to plant it in the fertile soil of our mind and understand that this is faith based on understanding.
00:22:35.680 --> 00:26:00.480
And then when you have those slivers of courage from the place of the goal, so we're not moving to a goal, we're working from the goal, from the place of the goal of occupying the state of the wish fulfilled being in the gold in the goal we get our ideas it's not in linear way so we had planned this retreat we planned whistler a year ago and a year ago and then i didn't know that i would be asking seny to speak at the retreat i i had no idea and i saw him we planned it in we started planning it in jan feb last year i saw him speak in january but i had no idea he would be speaking at the retreat yeah you know and so so things kind of happen in these in these different orders and you've that's where you've got to trust and so this is where where we dig things up is with our doubt because we get caught up in the how so you want to understand that the how is none of your business because you actually cannot know the how you because our we're limited in our mind our our how is connected to source yeah like leave it I listen if source created this universe like we're on a planet that is I don't even understand don't even understand it don't even understand it do not even understand it these the the sun the like it's our bodies like what's happening when we're asleep oh my gosh yeah I think source may have a better plan than I could come up with absolutely absolutely I I I go you know you know how I know that I don't know what's going on is my physical female body made two male bodies my body made a part I don't even have okay I don't even even thought of that I don't even have it like I couldn't even tell you how that like that's my running kind of joke you know is that like look I I know that I don't know what's going on fully because how did I make two parts that I don't even own myself I don't know but it's wild right when we really sit and think about it it's so wild you just like oh my gosh I I'm gonna be thinking about that isn't that wild of days you know yeah like and and everything that has to happen for that to happen like that to happen and I didn't have to do anything henna that's the other part that blows my mind I did not I had I got to eat I got to sleep make sure I'm taking my vitamins um stretch take good care of my body right like but I didn't have to sit and draw out a plan for how I was gonna do this and contact this many people and you know what I mean like it was very i it's like it blows my mind yes because you had to you you received you had to be the the uh you had to create this you you had this just to hold the space yes just to hold the space hold the space and then not get in the way yes exactly exactly that's the that's the part that I think is more accurate is how do I make sure it's not like how do I bring this forward how do I create this it's more so how do I get out of the way yes how do I get out of the way right and I love what you shared earlier.
00:26:00.640 --> 00:26:14.560
It made me think of my running journey and you said um you know the only way to get good at making bold asks or bold requests is to start making bold requests right and it's this it's very similar with running.
00:26:14.640 --> 00:26:43.840
It's like I can buy the running shoes I can get the gear I can drink the water I can eat the meals properly but really the only way to start getting better at running is to go run, you know, and feel silly for the first mile when I'm out of breath and huffing and puffing and I'm going so slow and my knees hurting right like but it really is such a metaphor for how everything rolls out in life because it's like that beginning part of like am I crazy?
00:26:44.080 --> 00:26:44.400
Right?
00:26:44.560 --> 00:27:26.320
And am I crazy to think that I could be a runner am I you know is this really for me is that and that's is that the doubt that you speak of like that that sort of my brain has a tendency to default to Katie you're crazy like I my brain judges a lot of my ideas as Katie this is crazy right this is and then and then I I know better now than to follow that right and believe that take that as a truth but that doesn't mean that my brain doesn't still try to do it you know and so it's like okay well that's not a truth but but how do you navigate that either with yourself or with the the people that you work with when that comes up because I would imagine it does.
00:27:26.560 --> 00:27:39.840
Oh it does it does even for me and I think what you said is so important is that as you start to understand yourself, which is why I think the most important thing we can do is get to know who we are and study ourselves then you know what that is.
00:27:40.480 --> 00:27:43.200
So you don't have to you don't have to buy into it.
00:27:43.360 --> 00:27:54.560
So you know that okay I get it you're just trying to keep me safe you're just saying why go out there when we can be in bed a little bit longer and cozy and then you can override it.
00:27:54.800 --> 00:28:03.520
And we can only do that when we start to understand our own triggers, our habits it can only happen when we do some self-inquiry.
00:28:03.759 --> 00:28:14.480
So that is the best way is to understand ourselves and know when we are going to try to play one on ourselves so that we don't have to do the thing.
00:28:14.720 --> 00:28:30.960
And you recognize it and then you override it just like you know in computer technology we see we've got to override things because some of the technology is old the the patterning it's it's old it's conditioned it doesn't serve us anymore.
00:28:31.200 --> 00:28:48.320
But because it's comfortable it it feels good because when you make a decision to start running you know it takes a lot of brain calories like there's thinking that you've got to do that you don't have to do if you keep doing the same thing which is not running not being a runner.
00:28:48.480 --> 00:29:03.840
Yeah I think of um my oldest is 17 now and he he's learning how to drive oh my gosh Katie I'm telling I don't understand I don't I'm not far from that henna I'm not far from it I look I mean we joke that I'm getting shorter every day in this house.
00:29:04.320 --> 00:29:16.880
I'm shrinking right and I used to have this really my Sanya jokes with me that I think I'm the tallest person in every room that I walk into and it's because when I was in my adolescent years I grew ahead of everybody.
00:29:16.960 --> 00:29:29.040
So I was five nine by the time I was like in eighth grade and so I was the tall I was a very tall girl right and then everybody grew past me but I still had this complex of like I'm the biggest one in the room.
00:29:29.360 --> 00:30:19.120
And so we joke about this especially him and his height and he he'll be like you know what do you you know I say in my next lifetime I'm gonna meet a really tall man you know like but but so I'm I watched my our 13 year old and he's like here to me right he's a couple inches he's he's on my heels and his feet are bigger than mine now and I'm looking at him and I'm going he's not that tall and then I'm like wait that means I'm not that tall because I'm looking at him right so it's this mirroring process but yes we're at that we're at that part in the development where I'm going who is this young man in no house and and then um you think but I just brought him home in the car seat from the hospital and now he's in the driver's seat.
00:30:19.360 --> 00:30:31.120
Yes you know something's wrong with this picture yes and so he's learning how to drive I haven't been in the car with him yet it'll be tomorrow was like Paul I can't I'm just not ready yet because I think I would make him too nervous.
00:30:31.360 --> 00:30:56.560
Yes yes uh I'd be too nervous so Paul's done it for the first few times but tomorrow we'll be but Paul was like you know like Yusuf he's like you know kind of gripping the steering wheel and he's got to be so much more aware he can't be kind of relaxed because it's new when we're starting something new it takes a lot of energy because we have to be things are not automatic for us.
00:30:56.720 --> 00:31:03.600
So we're we're we've got to and it's in the repetition that then we uh it becomes automatic.
00:31:03.759 --> 00:31:19.600
So I say that because that's this is how we can talk ourselves out of things because of that efforting at the beginning and and as we get older sometimes we don't want to be a beginner again.
00:31:19.840 --> 00:31:20.400
Yes.
00:31:20.640 --> 00:31:26.080
And we like we we we know how to do this even if it's not serving us at least we know how to do it.
00:31:26.560 --> 00:31:31.680
So gosh I commend anybody who is trying something different.
00:31:31.840 --> 00:31:39.440
Yeah and so we have to just understand ourselves and understand that we are wired to be in our comfort zone.
00:31:39.680 --> 00:31:47.520
Yeah and that it's not going to feel comfortable and I think if we can just even understand that then it's like okay I know what's happening now.
00:31:47.759 --> 00:32:13.680
Yeah yeah yeah I'm it's so it's so relevant especially one of the things one of the my intentions as I enter like the second half of my life is to remain psychologically flexible because what I can see happening as I experience some people who are aging is that there's this rigidity right that sets in where every day is groundhog day.
00:32:13.759 --> 00:32:31.680
It looks the same same decisions same disposition same mood right and it's like okay how can I bring in something new that does challenge me and I I don't love being a beginner right I'm very human in that way where it's like I don't love being a beginner I don't like being terrible at something.
00:32:31.840 --> 00:32:56.640
I love to do well do something well right um and so letting it be in that that phase where you you watch it back and you go oh that was rough you know or like for me the first few months of running not knowing that oh no you you should probably drink electrolytes while you run that'll make it easier for you or like you should probably have a couple you know gummies while you're running so that you don't deplete yourself so fast.
00:32:56.720 --> 00:33:01.680
You know it's like your your whole body that's a living organism right this is how you fuel yourself.
00:33:01.920 --> 00:33:36.080
So there's so much to learn along the way and it's really that idea that when we start something in the same way that there's this ripple effect that happens right you ask Sanika to come speak and then I come with him and then you and I meet and now we're on a podcast and you know now it's like oh there's more people doing this work in the world this is so amazing and you know it's there's this beautiful chemistry that's always happening beyond what we can conceive with our minds in a moment and being willing to go on the ride.
00:33:36.400 --> 00:33:36.800
Right.
00:33:36.960 --> 00:34:09.679
It's like that part and regulating ourselves with kindness this has been a huge one for me but like learning the language of kindness learning the language of compassion which is very different than doubt and disempowering and enabling right um and I'm wondering how you navigate we when when to make the bold ask and when to say no that's that's not it for me.
00:34:14.239 --> 00:34:23.519
Let me ask you something how much different would your life look if you had a mindset tool that helped you live as your highest self every single day?
00:34:23.759 --> 00:35:24.589
Because that's exactly what the power process does.
00:35:24.750 --> 00:35:29.629
I created this because I needed something that was fast, effective and easy to implement.
00:35:29.869 --> 00:35:33.709
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00:35:33.869 --> 00:35:43.149
And let me tell you it has been a game changer in my relationships, my business and my ability to show up as the best version of me every single day.
00:35:43.309 --> 00:35:45.309
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00:35:45.469 --> 00:35:50.750
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00:35:51.230 --> 00:35:58.029
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00:35:58.189 --> 00:36:35.309
So if you're tired of feeling stuck or second guessing yourself go grab the power process at stand.store backslash go beyond trust me you'll wonder how you ever operated without it it's that's a really great question and it comes into really connecting with myself and how it feels and this is where you've got to get to know yourself because you know excitement fear nervousness can all feel very similar and so we might be like oh it's a sign I'm not supposed to do it and that may not be it at all.
00:36:35.469 --> 00:37:00.589
So again part of it's gonna be trial and error you've just got to go out there and put yourself out there and then you're gonna have things to compare it to and so now that I've been in this work for uh for so long I can feel when it is fear or judgment and when it is this is not the right time.
00:37:01.629 --> 00:37:06.989
And so sometimes what I'll do is I won't say I'm not gonna do the ask.
00:37:07.149 --> 00:37:13.709
I may not do the ask right now because I feel like the ask is coming from a little bit of lack or desperation.
00:37:14.749 --> 00:37:21.629
And I want the ask, the bold ask to come from a whole and complete place.
00:37:22.029 --> 00:37:29.389
Because if it's a whole and complete place, the ask, the response to the ask again doesn't make me or break me.
00:37:29.549 --> 00:37:31.629
It that doesn't define me.
00:37:31.789 --> 00:37:38.029
It's not like oh I'm a good person because they said yes or I'm a bad person because they said no.
00:37:38.349 --> 00:37:40.269
So I that's what I want to make sure.
00:37:40.349 --> 00:37:53.389
So if I'm checking in on something it's like what energy is this coming from yes oh my goodness I love this so much because it's like the way that I see it is every ask is like a seed.
00:37:53.629 --> 00:37:55.949
And it's like what is the seed of this ask?
00:37:56.109 --> 00:37:57.469
Is it scarcity?
00:37:57.629 --> 00:37:58.829
Is it insecurity?
00:37:58.989 --> 00:37:59.949
Is it power?
00:38:00.109 --> 00:38:00.989
Is it love?
00:38:01.469 --> 00:38:02.429
Is it hope?
00:38:02.589 --> 00:38:02.829
Right?
00:38:02.989 --> 00:38:04.269
Like what's that seed?
00:38:04.509 --> 00:39:51.469
Because to me I feel like that really has a lot of influence on how that ask rolls out in the world and how it's received and how it's perceived you know and when you were speaking earlier when we very first started the conversation I made a note because you were saying something about you know a lot of times when we make a bold ask, especially for women um we look out into the world and we sort of assess right whether it's too much whether it's too big whether it's too audacious too loud too bright too whatever and that tells me that the unlearning and I know that I really got to unlearn this and I'm still unlearning it in many ways right because I think it just happens at different levels as you continue to evolve is learning to be inside out live inside out rather than outside in so really being able to connect to myself like you said at this deeper level and go if I couldn't see the world if I couldn't hear the world what would the desire be and then honoring that desire and going okay am I courageous enough will I be courageous enough to to send this out into the universe to the person or to the you know whoever needs to hear it that can take it and and help to bring it forward you know and sometimes the desire is just saying it out loud in front of nobody right I had this this instance at your retreat where I was getting ready to come downstairs one of the mornings and I had said out loud, oh when I get home I need to find a new skincare routine.
00:39:51.709 --> 00:40:03.949
It's time for me to find a new skincare routine and it was just I thought nothing of it and I literally was like oh I'm almost out of this moisturizer I packed and I really just need a good three, five step routine, you know?
00:40:04.189 --> 00:40:18.749
And then I go downstairs and I meet one of the women in attendance and she says your skin is so beautiful I have a skincare line did you get the bag in your room and I go what bag what no what are you talking about?
00:40:18.909 --> 00:40:22.029
And I'm like in my mind scanning the bathroom right like what did I miss?
00:40:22.269 --> 00:40:42.429
She said it should have been a big bag and I said no she goes hold on I'm gonna go get you one and she brings me a full brand new incredible three-step skincare routine and we have the biggest laugh over it right because sometimes it's it's saying out loud what the desire is and it's literally just out loud.
00:40:42.509 --> 00:41:01.789
It doesn't always have to be to the person but sometimes I think that the first domino of the creation process and the receiving process is the ownership yes you got it that's exactly it it's like being bold enough to admit it to yourself.
00:41:02.029 --> 00:41:05.469
Yes and to say it out loud okay I just love that.
00:41:05.549 --> 00:41:15.549
Yes this is Andrea Murad's line which is first of all how good is her skincare amazing it's amazing it's so good it is so good it is so good.
00:41:15.789 --> 00:41:23.389
Uh I I have I that's what I've been using all the time now and it I keep telling her it is so good.
00:41:23.629 --> 00:41:28.269
I didn't know from Korean skincare before her line but it is really really good.
00:41:28.429 --> 00:41:31.069
So shout out to Andrea and her skin her line.
00:41:31.389 --> 00:41:51.949
But I what I love about that is like what if that's what it could be like all the time that you just say something and it's like oh there it is oh like like like the like that manifestation was the amount of time to finish getting ready and into an elevator and down.
00:41:52.109 --> 00:42:59.429
So probably within an hour like a within an hour within an hour you said something and walked away and I gotta tell you those that are listening the the products that Katie is talking about we're not talking about um travel size.
00:42:59.589 --> 00:43:12.949
No we're talking about full size full size a whole set a whole set yeah so that is absolutely incredible and here's what I want to identify is that you had the desire and you didn't have any resistance to it.
00:43:13.509 --> 00:43:37.829
It wasn't like it wasn't like yeah but do I really I don't really need it it was like I need I'm gonna do a new skincare uh routine I need a new skincare routine and let it go you weren't obsessing over the new skincare routine so could we do that if we were saying ah I would you know I I'm really I would love to have another$10,000 or I'd love to hit seven figures.
00:43:37.989 --> 00:44:11.749
Like what would it be like to do it with that same kind of desire and detachment yeah yeah and then allow and allow the right person to come to you allow it to happen and you're also you were also at that retreat you also didn't just you know you could have not mixed with anybody really you you could have you know Katie you could have come and just really done your own thing Sanika does his thing and then you guys meet up you didn't have to come and meet anybody there.
00:44:12.229 --> 00:44:44.629
That was so you were also putting yourself you were also being available for it as well I want to acknowledge that is in who that's being yeah in who you were being to be in an environment to allow somebody to say hang on I've got something for you yeah yeah well I'm so grateful you said that because what I've learned in the last 10 years especially in starting my coaching business right where our backgrounds are very similar.
00:44:44.709 --> 00:45:01.989
I'm a psychotherapist turn coach my first 20 years were working behind bars right at the juvenile justice mental health programs in the prison at the women's prison so I I love psychology and when I was seven 16 or 17 I just knew I was like I want to study humans forever.
00:45:02.229 --> 00:45:13.589
So but but I fast forward because what I've learned is that things particularly in this realm that we live in here move through people.
00:45:14.549 --> 00:45:23.429
And so when I was single and I was I would pray and I would be like God how am I going to meet my person like do I need to get on dating apps?
00:45:23.509 --> 00:45:24.709
Like give me some clear directions.
00:45:24.789 --> 00:45:28.789
You know what I mean I wanted something very specific and God gave me something very specific.
00:45:28.949 --> 00:45:40.549
I would always hear uh go do Facebook live go do a Facebook live and I would be like but that's for my business that's for just me right I'm not what I don't understand.
00:45:40.789 --> 00:45:52.709
Well fast forward and when I reached out to Seneca because a people in our community we had been swirling around each other people in our community kept telling me I think you need to meet this person.
00:45:52.869 --> 00:45:54.309
I think you need to meet this person.
00:45:54.629 --> 00:46:42.709
And so I reach out to him finally after one of my best friends you know said I think I met your husband I'm like okay great so I reach out to him and we connect but when I send him the message he's he experiences doubt right he's he opens up the message and he goes what is this right this is so random I don't know this woman like who is she so he goes on my page and he starts watching my Facebook lives and after seeing them decides okay now I'm going now I'll message her back and when he told me that the like the the wisdom that I was receiving when I made the ask makes sense because it's like oh this is how this is going to work but it All came to be through people and through not hiding, right?
00:46:43.029 --> 00:47:01.669
It was very much in this era of life where I would get on every Thursday and I would do a live and I would connect with people and I would go to events and I would, you know, and so like really understanding that what you're saying about being available, particularly is not just saying, I'm available and then sitting in the chair and not moving.
00:47:01.909 --> 00:47:22.629
It's like I'm available and then go talk to 10 people and not about the thing that you just asked for, but but go talk to them and and engage with the world and be a part of it because you know it's like um I tell people like if you put a dollar bill on the table, how do you get that dollar bill to move?
00:47:23.189 --> 00:47:25.029
And they're like, Well, the wind could blow.
00:47:25.109 --> 00:47:26.309
And it's like, yeah, the wind could blow.
00:47:26.389 --> 00:47:26.789
That's true.
00:47:26.949 --> 00:47:30.389
But like, what's a what's the faster way to make the dollar bill move?
00:47:30.629 --> 00:47:32.229
And they're like, Well, I could move it.
00:47:32.389 --> 00:47:33.349
Yeah, you could move it.
00:47:33.509 --> 00:47:34.389
What's another way?
00:47:34.549 --> 00:47:35.829
I could ask somebody else to move it.
00:47:35.909 --> 00:47:36.469
Yeah, exactly.
00:47:36.629 --> 00:47:42.389
So all all the all resources move through humans, basically, that that we've created.
00:47:42.549 --> 00:47:47.829
So I love that you said this engagement because I'm such a proponent of this, of like, get out and engage.
00:47:47.989 --> 00:47:56.869
And it's channel, I'm not an extrovert, so it takes a little bit more effort for me to like hype myself up and be like, I'm gonna go engage, I'm gonna go interact.
00:47:57.189 --> 00:48:13.109
But as I've come more into myself in my growth and more confidence and just more groundedness and more self-acceptance, that has made it significantly easier to be open to receiving what I say I desire.
00:48:18.229 --> 00:48:19.429
Okay, pause.
00:48:19.589 --> 00:48:22.789
If you're serious about leveling up, you need to hear this.
00:48:22.949 --> 00:48:28.469
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00:49:14.869 --> 00:49:17.829
Oh my gosh, that was the masterclass right there.
00:49:18.069 --> 00:49:23.509
I mean, I feel like I could I have so many questions for you too, or just want to unpack it.
00:49:23.669 --> 00:49:31.109
Like what I love, Katie, is this idea of you know how, you know, there's that saying, make it make sense.
00:49:31.349 --> 00:49:31.669
Yes.
00:49:31.909 --> 00:49:37.109
So what I love is that trust it when it doesn't make sense.
00:49:37.269 --> 00:49:37.669
Yes.
00:49:37.829 --> 00:49:45.669
Like you're asking to meet your love, and the the direction you're getting is do a Facebook live.
00:49:45.749 --> 00:49:46.149
Yeah.
00:49:46.389 --> 00:49:48.149
Nothing about that makes sense.
00:49:48.389 --> 00:49:52.069
Nothing, nothing, but you trust in it.
00:49:52.389 --> 00:50:04.549
And that's why even what I say when you're making a bold ask or really uh creating the life that you love is that it's not about the thing happening exactly the way that you thought of it.
00:50:04.709 --> 00:50:11.509
To me, it's always to this or something better, and that helps loosen the grip too, and what's in the highest for everybody.
00:50:11.749 --> 00:50:22.069
So when I made the ask to Senika, because Steve Hardison would not, um, and I and I made that ask to him.
00:50:22.149 --> 00:50:26.229
To me, it was to this or something better for the highest of everybody there.
00:50:26.389 --> 00:50:31.349
And if it's him, which I believe it is in that moment, then that is what it will be.
00:50:31.669 --> 00:50:33.349
And it's gonna somehow work out.
00:50:33.509 --> 00:50:37.509
And if it isn't, then that's in everyone's highest interest in you.
00:50:38.069 --> 00:50:51.589
So I think that that can also be a way to manage when you are making bold requests or really asking for what you want, is that it can be a way to not grip to the outcome is to say to this or something better.
00:50:51.829 --> 00:50:54.389
Yeah, to this or something better.
00:50:54.629 --> 00:50:55.589
I love that.
00:50:55.749 --> 00:50:56.709
Yeah, yeah.
00:50:56.869 --> 00:50:58.789
It's it's reminds me of that.
00:50:58.949 --> 00:51:05.429
The the one that I love as well that I say to myself is like there's only three responses.
00:51:05.909 --> 00:51:09.429
Yes, not yet, or I have something better.
00:51:09.909 --> 00:51:12.869
Oh, like those are the three answers.
00:51:13.189 --> 00:51:17.589
If you make the ask, if you don't make the ask, then the answer for sure will be no, right?
00:51:17.829 --> 00:51:18.709
Wow, I love that.
00:51:18.949 --> 00:51:19.909
But it's write that down.
00:51:20.149 --> 00:51:24.309
It's yes, not yet, or I have something better.
00:51:24.629 --> 00:51:28.549
And I I'm a super intuitive woman.
00:51:28.789 --> 00:51:36.469
Like, in and to the point where I've I've kind of like scared myself in some instances where I'm like, oh my gosh, what was that?
00:51:36.629 --> 00:51:50.709
You know, but that has helped me to lean, like relax into um this idea that I don't have to understand it, especially loving logic, right?
00:51:50.789 --> 00:51:53.109
I love intellect, I love logic, I love to study it.
00:51:53.189 --> 00:51:54.469
Like I'm such a nerd.
00:51:54.629 --> 00:51:59.029
And so it's like I want to understand how that happened and how that worked.
00:51:59.269 --> 00:52:12.069
And then it's like that, however, became a big block to my capacity to receive because I got to a point where I wouldn't receive it unless I understood it.
00:52:12.709 --> 00:52:17.029
And it's like, imagine I had to understand everything to receive it before I couldn't.
00:52:17.189 --> 00:52:18.149
Wouldn't have your children.
00:52:18.389 --> 00:52:26.789
I wouldn't have the children for sure, wouldn't have my husband, wouldn't have my business, wouldn't have the so many things, right?
00:52:26.949 --> 00:52:28.869
It's like, wow.
00:52:29.349 --> 00:52:36.469
So really making that agreement of I I don't need to understand it, I don't need to justify it.
00:52:36.869 --> 00:52:38.549
That was a big one too for me.
00:52:38.629 --> 00:52:44.309
Is oh, I gotta justify why this came to me and why it didn't go to Susie and why it didn't go to Jennifer, and you know what I mean?
00:52:44.389 --> 00:52:45.269
Like, why me?
00:52:45.429 --> 00:52:49.749
Why did I get, you know, and it's like, no, Katie, you don't need to justify it.
00:52:49.989 --> 00:52:53.269
You don't need to rationalize it, you don't need to understand it.
00:52:53.509 --> 00:52:56.309
You say yes, I'll receive it.
00:52:56.549 --> 00:52:57.749
Thank you so much.
00:52:58.069 --> 00:53:02.069
If you have more, I'm open to more, you know, if you more, if please.
00:53:02.309 --> 00:53:12.309
Uh, but that that really was helpful too, because sometimes I I noticed quite a bit that that things would try to access me.
00:53:12.629 --> 00:53:18.309
And again, going back to what you said earlier, like it's not how do I bring this forward, it's how do I get out of the way.
00:53:19.269 --> 00:53:22.549
And and working to get myself out of the way, right?
00:53:22.789 --> 00:53:31.989
Because like, oh, yeah, that that the universe was really trying to deliver that, and I I was not available.
00:53:33.349 --> 00:53:33.829
Yeah.
00:53:36.149 --> 00:53:44.709
Well, anything else that you feel like we could, we, we should, we should know before we wrap this up.
00:53:44.869 --> 00:53:47.269
Because this conversation, can we could go for hours.
00:53:47.349 --> 00:53:47.989
I know we could.
00:53:48.069 --> 00:53:49.749
We could just back and forth.
00:53:50.149 --> 00:53:52.309
There's so much wisdom you have.
00:53:52.869 --> 00:53:56.949
Well, I have to, I'm learning so much from you, Katie, as well.
00:53:57.109 --> 00:54:00.949
And I I really appreciate this conversation.
00:54:01.349 --> 00:54:09.829
And I was thinking about what you said around um the chapter that you're entering into in your life and being psychologically flexible.
00:54:10.309 --> 00:54:12.789
And I think that's one of the most important things we can do.
00:54:12.869 --> 00:54:15.269
And I feel blessed to have worked with mentors.
00:54:15.589 --> 00:54:21.349
Um, you know, my first one was Bob Proctor, and he was working into his 80s.
00:54:21.589 --> 00:54:23.349
Well, right up until he died.
00:54:23.669 --> 00:54:28.069
And he would always say that he never bought into the paradigm of retirement.
00:54:28.229 --> 00:54:31.029
Like he just chose not to buy into that.
00:54:31.109 --> 00:54:31.429
Yeah.
00:54:31.669 --> 00:54:41.189
And so he many of the people that he surrounded himself with were younger than him because of what the majority of people of his age were doing.
00:54:41.269 --> 00:54:45.109
And I would say Steve Hardison is the same as well.
00:54:45.349 --> 00:54:50.709
And to me, you know, purpose is the fountain of youth.
00:54:51.429 --> 00:54:59.749
I feel like like having that desire, that's that's what keeps you young because it's an energy that flows then.
00:54:59.989 --> 00:55:03.189
We're and not blocking it and constricting it.
00:55:03.429 --> 00:55:09.029
And so if there's something that you desire, know that you are worthy of it.
00:55:09.509 --> 00:55:15.509
You've got accept that, accept that the idea wouldn't come to you if it wasn't possible for you to execute on.
00:55:15.669 --> 00:55:18.389
Just ask yourself, what is my next best step?
00:55:19.029 --> 00:55:23.269
Do it, and then after that, take the next step and the next.
00:55:23.349 --> 00:55:31.829
And if within those steps there is a bold ask, get into the habit of being somebody that makes bold requests.
00:55:32.069 --> 00:55:32.709
Yeah.
00:55:32.949 --> 00:55:33.509
Yeah.
00:55:33.749 --> 00:55:34.549
I love that.
00:55:34.789 --> 00:55:35.269
I love that.
00:55:35.429 --> 00:55:38.469
And I'm so grateful, Hannah, because you've designed a community.
00:55:38.789 --> 00:55:50.469
And I think community is critical when we are creating something we haven't created before, or asking for something we've never asked before, or redesigning our self-image, right?
00:55:50.549 --> 00:55:51.829
And our identity.
00:55:52.149 --> 00:56:04.789
Because there's plenty of moments where I have this big ask and I do feel nervous and I do feel like, oh, this is really big, or oh, so then I tell someone, I share with someone, my best friend, my community.
00:56:04.949 --> 00:56:07.269
I go, I'm gonna make this big ask.
00:56:07.589 --> 00:56:09.669
And then they celebrate me, right?
00:56:09.829 --> 00:56:11.589
Because they're they're doing the same thing.
00:56:11.669 --> 00:56:13.429
So they go, Yeah, we're so proud of you.
00:56:13.509 --> 00:56:13.989
Let's go.
00:56:14.149 --> 00:56:16.789
And then I make the big ask and go, oh my gosh, I just did it.
00:56:16.869 --> 00:56:17.509
I'm so happy.
00:56:17.589 --> 00:56:19.749
And they're like, Yeah, you just did it, you know.
00:56:19.829 --> 00:56:25.509
And so having that is really important, I think, as a part of the process.
00:56:25.749 --> 00:56:32.069
And you have a community where that's available, where where these women, and I got to meet them in person, right?
00:56:32.389 --> 00:56:38.789
Some of them, I'm sure it's not all of them, but they're just so welcoming, so warm, so inspiring and loving.
00:56:38.949 --> 00:56:55.269
And and those spaces, those spaces I really hold as sacred because, like you said earlier, it's really courageous for someone to decide that they're going to live fully, you know, really let themselves live fully.
00:56:55.429 --> 00:56:57.029
So thank you so much.
00:56:57.269 --> 00:57:06.229
And I'll just say one more thing about that, Katie, around community, because you're right, it is courageous, and courage is contagious.
00:57:07.269 --> 00:57:07.749
Mm-hmm.
00:57:08.149 --> 00:57:14.869
And that's why it works, because then you're like, well, if if if you know, if they can do it, I can do it.
00:57:14.949 --> 00:57:16.789
You're showing me what's possible for me.
00:57:17.029 --> 00:57:17.349
Yes.
00:57:17.509 --> 00:57:17.829
Yeah.
00:57:18.069 --> 00:57:18.709
I love that.
00:57:18.869 --> 00:57:20.469
Courageous is contagious.
00:57:21.029 --> 00:57:22.229
Oh, I'm writing that somewhere.
00:57:22.389 --> 00:57:24.229
I'm putting it on a wall somewhere.
00:57:25.189 --> 00:57:27.029
Thank you so, so much, Henna.
00:57:27.109 --> 00:57:29.429
I am so grateful for this time with you today.
00:57:29.589 --> 00:57:35.349
And I will link to the show notes where everyone can find Hinna so you can experience more of her.
00:57:35.429 --> 00:57:40.709
And she's very generous with her resources and her offerings in terms of the ability to access them.
00:57:40.869 --> 00:57:46.309
Like I said, I'm doing a call morning calls with you next week, you know, and getting to experience that.
00:57:46.469 --> 00:57:47.349
I'm looking forward to it.
00:57:47.509 --> 00:57:49.669
Her book is available, returned to you.
00:57:49.989 --> 00:57:53.429
So get in touch with Hina in some way, shape, or form.
00:57:53.669 --> 00:57:56.709
And we just really are so grateful for this time today.
00:57:56.869 --> 00:57:57.349
Thank you.
00:57:57.669 --> 00:57:58.709
Thanks, Katie.
00:57:59.429 --> 00:58:03.349
Listen, your next level isn't a dream, it's a decision.
00:58:03.509 --> 00:58:06.069
So before you go, let me remind you of one thing.
00:58:06.309 --> 00:58:08.949
Your next level, it's not waiting for you.
00:58:09.109 --> 00:58:12.309
It's already here, ready for you to say yes.
00:58:12.549 --> 00:58:17.269
No more playing small, no more overthinking, no more waiting for one day.
00:58:17.429 --> 00:58:21.509
The version of you that has everything you desire, she's already inside you.
00:58:21.669 --> 00:58:24.469
She's just waiting for you to decide and take action.
00:58:24.629 --> 00:58:28.629
So if today's episode hit home, don't just listen, act on it.
00:58:28.869 --> 00:58:35.509
Screenshot this episode, share it with a friend, tag me at Katie Lynn Rahano, and tell me your biggest takeaway.
00:58:35.669 --> 00:58:42.149
And if you're ready to live your next level now, head to stand.store backslash go beyond and let's make it happen.
00:58:42.389 --> 00:58:47.509
Until next time, keep showing up, keep saying yes, and keep going beyond.
00:58:48.389 --> 00:58:52.309
Listen, your next level isn't a dream, it's a decision.
00:58:52.469 --> 00:58:55.029
So before you go, let me remind you of one thing.
00:58:55.269 --> 00:58:57.829
Your next level, it's not waiting for you.
00:58:57.989 --> 00:59:01.269
It's already here, ready for you to say yes.
00:59:01.509 --> 00:59:06.149
No more playing small, no more overthinking, no more waiting for one day.
00:59:06.389 --> 00:59:10.469
The version of you that has everything you desire, she's already inside you.
00:59:10.629 --> 00:59:13.429
She's just waiting for you to decide and take action.
00:59:13.589 --> 00:59:17.589
So if today's episode hit home, don't just listen, act on it.
00:59:17.749 --> 00:59:24.469
Screenshot this episode, share it with a friend, tag me at Katie Lynn Rahano, and tell me your biggest takeaway.
00:59:24.549 --> 00:59:31.109
And if you're ready to live your next level now, head to stand.store backslash go beyond and let's make it happen.
00:59:31.349 --> 00:59:36.469
Until next time, keep showing up, keep saying yes, and keep going beyond.