“No” Isn’t the End: Building Creative Resilience After Rejection

WEBVTT
00:00:00.017 --> 00:00:03.437
Hello, and welcome back to Writing While Distracted. I'm Brenda Murphy,
00:00:03.597 --> 00:00:05.137
your NeuroSpicy writing coach.
00:00:05.317 --> 00:00:10.257
And today is the final podcast in my How to Write a Book series.
00:00:10.617 --> 00:00:18.317
And we're going to talk about the one thing that is a constant in every writer's
00:00:18.317 --> 00:00:24.777
life who is actively pursuing either representation by an agent or publication
00:00:24.777 --> 00:00:26.997
from an external publishing company.
00:00:27.537 --> 00:00:30.077
So stay tuned for our episode today.
00:00:31.069 --> 00:00:33.269
Oh, damn, it was rejected.
00:00:40.309 --> 00:00:45.989
So in our last episode, we talked about what to do when your manuscript gets
00:00:45.989 --> 00:00:53.009
accepted, which is amazing when that happens and it's its own particular brand
00:00:53.009 --> 00:00:54.989
of stress and excitement.
00:00:55.369 --> 00:01:01.029
Today, we're going to talk about the more common thing, the times when your
00:01:01.029 --> 00:01:03.409
manuscript, your work gets rejected.
00:01:04.189 --> 00:01:10.009
And that's the one we don't post about. Nobody really posts on Instagram or
00:01:10.009 --> 00:01:11.789
whatever your social media is of choice.
00:01:11.969 --> 00:01:14.709
Oh boy, I got rejected again today.
00:01:15.729 --> 00:01:20.509
And those emails that come from an agent or an editor or a publisher that say
00:01:20.509 --> 00:01:25.629
no thank you often are not that helpful.
00:01:25.869 --> 00:01:30.849
Often it's just a no thank you without any explanation. about why whatever piece
00:01:30.849 --> 00:01:33.529
you submitted to them wasn't for them.
00:01:33.749 --> 00:01:39.349
If you happen upon an editor or an agent that offers you some suggestions and
00:01:39.349 --> 00:01:41.709
advice, that's amazing.
00:01:41.709 --> 00:01:47.989
And I really appreciated the few times that I had editors that when they were
00:01:47.989 --> 00:01:52.829
in the process of rejecting my work also offered some very helpful feedback
00:01:52.829 --> 00:01:57.189
for me to improve my work and increase my chances of getting accepted.
00:01:57.709 --> 00:02:00.389
So that's an amazing thing when that happens. But most of the time,
00:02:00.509 --> 00:02:05.969
you just get a form letter or a thanks for playing, but we don't need what you have to offer.
00:02:06.449 --> 00:02:09.429
And that hurts, right? That stings.
00:02:10.009 --> 00:02:14.909
And if you are neurodivergent, it stings.
00:02:15.109 --> 00:02:19.229
And if you're neurodivergent, anyone dealing with any kind of mental health
00:02:19.229 --> 00:02:25.369
challenges, rejection can feel like someone just shattered you with a hammer.
00:02:26.361 --> 00:02:31.381
And a lot of that has to do with our rejection sensitivity dysphoria,
00:02:31.381 --> 00:02:35.621
where you read more into a simple no than there is,
00:02:35.741 --> 00:02:40.361
and you react to it in a way, you read more into a simple no,
00:02:40.361 --> 00:02:48.941
and you react to it in a way that is sometimes not equal in drama to what just occurred.
00:02:49.561 --> 00:02:53.761
However, I've talked about rejection sensitivity dysphoria in other podcasts,
00:02:53.821 --> 00:02:57.801
and I'll link those below and let you listen to that.
00:02:57.901 --> 00:03:04.541
I'm not going to rehash it again here, because today I want to talk about creative resilience.
00:03:04.941 --> 00:03:10.181
And that's something that I think that everyone who is a creator.
00:03:10.741 --> 00:03:14.821
Writer, an artist, a painter, a potter, whatever it is that you do,
00:03:15.101 --> 00:03:17.981
you need to develop creative resilience.
00:03:18.261 --> 00:03:22.441
And whether you're disappointed in your own work or disappointed that someone
00:03:22.441 --> 00:03:27.781
didn't accept your work, that's what you can rely on to bring you back to the
00:03:27.781 --> 00:03:29.661
state of being creative again.
00:03:30.201 --> 00:03:37.621
And so many times I have faced rejection as an author, as a creator,
00:03:37.881 --> 00:03:42.681
where whatever it was I was presenting to be accepted wasn't accepted.
00:03:42.861 --> 00:03:45.461
And that's just part and parcel of being a writer.
00:03:45.661 --> 00:03:48.841
Your work isn't going to fit with everybody. And I've talked about this before.
00:03:48.841 --> 00:03:54.421
The first thing that you need to do when you receive those rejections is to
00:03:54.421 --> 00:03:58.741
acknowledge that it hurts to feel your feelings.
00:03:58.981 --> 00:04:03.361
And even though rejections are not personal for the most part.
00:04:03.601 --> 00:04:08.441
I mean, you will have those people in your lives that just don't click with
00:04:08.441 --> 00:04:11.101
you. You would not have a good working relationship.
00:04:11.281 --> 00:04:15.961
And that's a good thing because you don't want a difficult relationship around your creativity.
00:04:16.161 --> 00:04:19.741
Creating is hard enough without adding interpersonal problems to that.
00:04:20.618 --> 00:04:25.238
But when you see that response from an editor, an agent, or wherever you're
00:04:25.238 --> 00:04:32.898
querying your work, and you go to open that email, you can have a lot of things that happen.
00:04:33.998 --> 00:04:38.018
You can have, you know, your stomach drops, your heart races,
00:04:38.018 --> 00:04:40.858
you may tremble, you may not even want to open the email.
00:04:41.118 --> 00:04:45.838
And when you finally open the email, and it is a rejection, you may get teary.
00:04:46.038 --> 00:04:49.838
You may get angry. You may want to smash things or punch a wall.
00:04:49.998 --> 00:04:52.258
Please don't do that. It's not good for your hands.
00:04:52.718 --> 00:04:56.518
And please don't break things because in the end you've broken your own stuff
00:04:56.518 --> 00:04:59.638
and the person who sent you that rejection really doesn't care.
00:05:00.543 --> 00:05:07.123
So when you have those feelings, feeling your feelings is the first step in
00:05:07.123 --> 00:05:10.923
getting back to a even keel.
00:05:11.103 --> 00:05:14.323
Let yourself feel those feelings, but put a limiter on it.
00:05:14.563 --> 00:05:21.023
Make sure that you don't dash off an angry outburst on your social media or
00:05:21.023 --> 00:05:25.263
respond in an untoward way to the person who sent you the rejection.
00:05:25.263 --> 00:05:29.923
Because sometimes that rejection is not an outright rejection.
00:05:30.083 --> 00:05:34.423
It may just be a rejection of it doesn't fit us right now.
00:05:34.703 --> 00:05:40.323
The nicest part about some rejections that I've gotten is that there's a line
00:05:40.323 --> 00:05:45.043
in the bottom is that we couldn't produce, we didn't want to publish this piece,
00:05:45.043 --> 00:05:48.383
but please send us your work in the future.
00:05:48.563 --> 00:05:54.143
And that's an encouraging thing because that means maybe it just didn't fit with this anthology,
00:05:54.143 --> 00:05:58.583
or maybe it just didn't work out for them at this time, or that they had a limited
00:05:58.583 --> 00:06:03.883
number of things that they were going to publish, and you just didn't make the cut this time.
00:06:04.383 --> 00:06:10.703
So not all rejections are outright rejections, and if you respond to a rejection
00:06:10.703 --> 00:06:16.383
in an angry way, particularly to an editor or an agent, a publishing house,
00:06:16.523 --> 00:06:18.303
wherever you've sent your work off to.
00:06:18.843 --> 00:06:23.843
Responding to a rejection in an angry way is an absolutely number one way of
00:06:23.843 --> 00:06:30.283
making sure that you have pretty much destroyed your chances of working with those individuals,
00:06:30.283 --> 00:06:35.703
because they're going to see you as someone who's not able to take rejection.
00:06:35.703 --> 00:06:41.543
And even though we all hate it, rejection is very much a part of the creative process.
00:06:41.883 --> 00:06:47.283
So if you feel the urge to rant and rave and yell and scream,
00:06:47.583 --> 00:06:52.623
do it on your own time and don't do it in a public fashion.
00:06:52.803 --> 00:06:57.803
Please do not destroy your career before it's even started by acting out in public.
00:06:58.932 --> 00:07:02.392
And we have a very public, I mean, social media is just that.
00:07:02.472 --> 00:07:03.592
It's social, it's public.
00:07:04.412 --> 00:07:08.192
You don't have to think very hard to think of those people that have absolutely
00:07:08.192 --> 00:07:13.472
wrecked their career because of a ill-thought-out post or an angry rant.
00:07:13.612 --> 00:07:15.332
So don't do that to yourself.
00:07:16.072 --> 00:07:19.152
The thing that I want you to remember, the second thing that I really,
00:07:19.292 --> 00:07:22.892
really, really want you to remember is that publishing is a business.
00:07:23.152 --> 00:07:27.512
So whether you're working with an agent or you're working with a publisher directly,
00:07:27.512 --> 00:07:34.432
their job, their business, their means of survival is to sell books.
00:07:34.792 --> 00:07:38.792
The agent is going to try and sell your manuscript for the most money so they
00:07:38.792 --> 00:07:39.832
can get their percentage.
00:07:40.152 --> 00:07:44.872
A publisher wants to publish a book that is going to make back their investment
00:07:44.872 --> 00:07:47.952
because don't forget, publishers are investing in you.
00:07:48.172 --> 00:07:51.932
They are paying for the copy editors. They are paying for the proofers.
00:07:52.072 --> 00:07:53.572
They are paying for the cover.
00:07:54.012 --> 00:08:00.592
They are putting a lot of money into your work before it goes anywhere,
00:08:01.092 --> 00:08:05.592
before you get any kind of remuneration for that book selling.
00:08:05.912 --> 00:08:10.432
So as a business, if you don't make good decisions and you have products that
00:08:10.432 --> 00:08:14.692
don't sell, and believe me, I know it's hard to think of your creative work
00:08:14.692 --> 00:08:17.032
as a product, but for a publisher,
00:08:17.212 --> 00:08:21.492
for an agent, it is a product and they need to market you and they need to market
00:08:21.492 --> 00:08:26.492
your book in a way that earns them money so that they can continue to exist.
00:08:27.550 --> 00:08:33.590
This says nothing about the quality of your work.
00:08:33.730 --> 00:08:38.010
It has to do with whether or not your work fits into their business model,
00:08:38.190 --> 00:08:44.930
no matter what you're producing, whether it's art or music or books or poetry,
00:08:45.370 --> 00:08:48.250
any kind of creative thing that you're producing.
00:08:48.650 --> 00:08:53.250
If the person who wants to sell it doesn't think that they can make money off
00:08:53.250 --> 00:08:55.190
of it, they're going to reject it.
00:08:55.190 --> 00:09:03.230
And that is why you you get no's so and anyone telling you a no that they don't
00:09:03.230 --> 00:09:06.350
want to represent you or they don't want to publish you is not saying that the
00:09:06.350 --> 00:09:11.390
writing is bad and i'll give you a personal example i write super spicy books.
00:09:12.265 --> 00:09:17.685
Some publishers won't touch a super spicy book because that's not what they're known for.
00:09:17.765 --> 00:09:21.505
And that's not what readers come to them looking for.
00:09:21.825 --> 00:09:24.265
So it wouldn't fit within their
00:09:24.265 --> 00:09:27.825
business model, wouldn't fit with how they market themselves to readers.
00:09:27.925 --> 00:09:32.425
If they are known for producing ultra slow burn books, or just slow burn books
00:09:32.425 --> 00:09:38.205
in general, they are not going to pick up one of my set the pages on fire spicy kind of books.
00:09:38.525 --> 00:09:42.865
They're just not going to do that. And learning which publishers might be a
00:09:42.865 --> 00:09:47.545
better fit for whatever you're trying to have traditionally published is a big
00:09:47.545 --> 00:09:51.845
part of sending your work off if you are self-representing.
00:09:52.045 --> 00:09:54.245
Now, if you have an agent, same kind of thing.
00:09:54.925 --> 00:09:58.625
Agents like to represent works that they think they can sell,
00:09:58.685 --> 00:10:01.345
and they know publishers, they know what publishers are looking for,
00:10:01.425 --> 00:10:05.705
at least the good ones do, and they want to represent works that they think
00:10:05.705 --> 00:10:08.485
they can sell to a publisher for a bigger audience.
00:10:09.185 --> 00:10:14.265
So that's their motivation with saying yes or no. It doesn't have to do with
00:10:14.265 --> 00:10:15.945
the quality of your writing.
00:10:16.185 --> 00:10:18.285
And remember, it's their judgment.
00:10:18.865 --> 00:10:23.665
And it's not good or bad writing. It's whether or not they can sell it.
00:10:23.825 --> 00:10:27.345
And that is what I really want you to take away from all this.
00:10:27.465 --> 00:10:32.645
It is not that you're a good writer or bad writer that you cannot get published
00:10:32.645 --> 00:10:38.045
or picked up by an agent or find a publishing house willing to take a chance on you,
00:10:38.205 --> 00:10:43.685
often if you are a groundbreaking kind of person in that you're mashing up genres
00:10:43.685 --> 00:10:45.565
that no one has mashed up before.
00:10:45.725 --> 00:10:49.585
If you're writing cozy fantasy and those people that started writing cozy fantasy,
00:10:49.825 --> 00:10:53.065
they really broke the mold.
00:10:53.265 --> 00:10:58.725
I mean, most fantasy was epic and sword and sorcery and there's this big quest.
00:10:59.145 --> 00:11:04.705
Not a cozy sort of fantasy that you can tuck into and enjoy in that way.
00:11:04.885 --> 00:11:08.885
And so it crossed over between people that liked cozy stories and people that
00:11:08.885 --> 00:11:12.345
liked fantasy and melded those two worlds.
00:11:13.381 --> 00:11:16.921
Someone reading that and thinking, oh, my God, I don't even know if there's a market for that.
00:11:17.481 --> 00:11:22.041
Why should we publish that? They wouldn't touch it. I'm sure that people would
00:11:22.041 --> 00:11:23.401
not touch that to begin with.
00:11:23.601 --> 00:11:28.241
Once a market was proven and like, oh, cozy fantasies sell, people want that.
00:11:29.021 --> 00:11:34.221
Then publishers start to pick up. So in a lot of ways, indie publishing with
00:11:34.221 --> 00:11:38.941
its ability to mash up genres and test the market on seeing how things might
00:11:38.941 --> 00:11:42.281
sell or not sell is leading the way. Okay.
00:11:42.972 --> 00:11:48.652
I often will publish something, self-publish something, if I am testing out
00:11:48.652 --> 00:11:53.232
how I want to write something or if I'm testing out a genre that I'm not that
00:11:53.232 --> 00:11:56.652
experienced with and I want to see how it works.
00:11:56.792 --> 00:12:02.212
And if I am able to blend genres that my publisher wouldn't necessarily be interested
00:12:02.212 --> 00:12:06.272
in publishing because they don't necessarily publish those kinds of stories.
00:12:06.512 --> 00:12:09.292
So it gives me self-publishing is amazing that way.
00:12:09.652 --> 00:12:15.132
That is the best part about it. You're not dependent upon someone else seeing
00:12:15.132 --> 00:12:18.292
the business worth of whatever it is you're producing.
00:12:18.612 --> 00:12:26.192
I will also say that it also takes a lot of pressure off yourself if you remember
00:12:26.192 --> 00:12:28.152
that at the end of the day,
00:12:28.412 --> 00:12:33.472
the way things are now, there are many, many platforms that you can publish
00:12:33.472 --> 00:12:35.812
your work on that are not traditional,
00:12:36.052 --> 00:12:41.052
that don't involve agents, and allow you the freedom and flexibility to get
00:12:41.052 --> 00:12:44.972
your work out there without going through gatekeepers.
00:12:45.452 --> 00:12:49.512
And that is always the way I look at things now.
00:12:49.712 --> 00:12:54.592
If something, if I submit something and it doesn't get accepted wherever I've
00:12:54.592 --> 00:13:01.132
submitted it and I like it and I believe in it, I will then either try one other publisher maybe,
00:13:01.392 --> 00:13:06.112
or a lot of times I just decide to self-publish it and I put it into that side of my business.
00:13:06.752 --> 00:13:14.272
I had a Christmas short story that I could not get accepted in any anthology
00:13:14.272 --> 00:13:16.312
that I sent it to. It just didn't click.
00:13:16.552 --> 00:13:22.012
And you know what? I just decided to publish that myself because I liked it.
00:13:22.072 --> 00:13:26.812
And it still is one of my most popular seasonal novellas.
00:13:26.972 --> 00:13:28.332
People liked it.
00:13:28.532 --> 00:13:33.052
It was different and it was sweet and it was fun and it hit notes that people
00:13:33.052 --> 00:13:34.452
were looking for at Christmas time.
00:13:35.192 --> 00:13:39.192
And it was different than what was already out there. Like a lot of stuff does
00:13:39.192 --> 00:13:40.732
not deal with established couples.
00:13:41.630 --> 00:13:45.530
And so that was my way of dealing with something that I really believed in,
00:13:45.670 --> 00:13:49.530
but just figured it just doesn't fit with anything anybody else was looking for.
00:13:49.770 --> 00:13:54.390
So don't take that no from an editor, from an agent, from a publishing house,
00:13:54.530 --> 00:13:56.850
from whoever that you've tried
00:13:56.850 --> 00:13:59.530
to sell your book to, because that's really what you're trying to do.
00:13:59.650 --> 00:14:03.770
You're trying to sell that bit of creativity or music or whatever it is that you're selling.
00:14:04.210 --> 00:14:09.730
If that doesn't work, you always have the option of doing it yourself.
00:14:09.730 --> 00:14:13.130
Self and that gives you so much freedom and
00:14:13.130 --> 00:14:15.870
that should be something that you can latch on to and
00:14:15.870 --> 00:14:24.150
hold on to when that sense of disappointment and sorrow and anger when those
00:14:24.150 --> 00:14:28.910
senses start to build up in you and you start to flail and you feel like i'm
00:14:28.910 --> 00:14:32.110
never going to get published and no one's ever going to read this and i'm never
00:14:32.110 --> 00:14:34.290
going to when you get into that negative loop.
00:14:35.104 --> 00:14:38.104
I want you to stop. I want you to take a break.
00:14:38.284 --> 00:14:41.584
I want you to go for a walk. And if you can't go for a walk because of whatever
00:14:41.584 --> 00:14:43.704
reason, I want you to just sit
00:14:43.704 --> 00:14:47.864
quietly for a few minutes or go and do something that you really enjoy.
00:14:47.984 --> 00:14:51.844
Go pet your animal if you have a dog or a cat or a bunny or whatever.
00:14:52.604 --> 00:14:58.124
Or if you have a trusted friend that you can call and talk to, to talk yourself down.
00:14:58.624 --> 00:15:02.584
It is really hard. We can all have those existential crises of,
00:15:02.744 --> 00:15:06.604
why am I doing this? Why am I doing this? stuff. Why am I giving myself homework?
00:15:07.264 --> 00:15:13.444
Why do I continue to sit down at this keyboard and miss time with family or friends or whatever?
00:15:13.664 --> 00:15:19.304
Why do I take all of my time to put into this creative work and no one's ever going to see it?
00:15:19.644 --> 00:15:25.644
And you can come to that place pretty easily. And I want you to step back from
00:15:25.644 --> 00:15:27.344
the cliff, step back from that.
00:15:27.464 --> 00:15:30.544
And remember, rejection is part of the creative process.
00:15:31.044 --> 00:15:34.424
If you are going through gatekeepers, it's just how it works.
00:15:34.904 --> 00:15:38.104
If you are not going to do it yourself and you are depending on other people
00:15:38.104 --> 00:15:43.064
to buy your product, buy your book, be willing to publish your work or your
00:15:43.064 --> 00:15:46.204
creative, whatever creative thing you have, you're trying to get out there.
00:15:46.704 --> 00:15:50.404
If you're going to depend on that, you have to recognize that you're going to
00:15:50.404 --> 00:15:55.024
have to find a good way to deal with rejection because that is part of it.
00:15:55.836 --> 00:15:59.156
And you can't get away from it. It is always going to be there.
00:15:59.676 --> 00:16:04.056
So when I was talking about that short story, one of the things that you can
00:16:04.056 --> 00:16:06.776
learn from, you can learn things from rejections.
00:16:07.036 --> 00:16:11.716
So one of the things that you need to do with a rejection is to look at the
00:16:11.716 --> 00:16:15.996
fit, look at where you submitted, check what the publisher's current catalog is.
00:16:16.076 --> 00:16:19.696
And you should have ideally done that before you started submitting.
00:16:20.136 --> 00:16:23.996
Always look at their catalog. If you're going for an agent, always look at their
00:16:23.996 --> 00:16:26.976
website, always look for clues, look for people who they represent.
00:16:27.156 --> 00:16:28.436
What kind of books are they representing?
00:16:29.256 --> 00:16:33.216
And work that into whether or not you should submit to them.
00:16:33.916 --> 00:16:36.496
Always study, you know, study if you're looking for an agent,
00:16:36.696 --> 00:16:40.136
study if they have a what I'm looking for page, study that.
00:16:40.616 --> 00:16:44.436
Compare your manuscript to their recent releases. Is this a fit?
00:16:44.516 --> 00:16:47.516
If it's not a good fit, then you understand why the rejection occurred.
00:16:47.856 --> 00:16:51.836
And that is going to help you understand, again, it's not personal,
00:16:51.836 --> 00:16:54.916
it's a business decision. So look at that.
00:16:55.376 --> 00:17:00.856
The biggest thing that you can do to help your creative resilience while all
00:17:00.856 --> 00:17:03.516
this is going on is to keep working.
00:17:03.696 --> 00:17:10.376
My number one survival tip for all creative people is always have another project
00:17:10.376 --> 00:17:15.316
underway while you're waiting to hear back from what other project is out.
00:17:15.676 --> 00:17:21.036
And why I say that is I know too many people that write a book,
00:17:21.216 --> 00:17:24.836
put it out on submission, and then sit there waiting to hear back.
00:17:25.036 --> 00:17:29.456
It can be months before you hear back. Some agents will flat out tell you,
00:17:29.576 --> 00:17:33.316
you're not going to hear from me for 90 days, or four months,
00:17:33.436 --> 00:17:35.336
or whatever time period.
00:17:35.516 --> 00:17:39.556
Some publishers will say, don't expect to hear from us for eight weeks, or,
00:17:40.326 --> 00:17:44.626
editors, same kind of thing. You are not going to get an instant turnaround.
00:17:45.586 --> 00:17:50.526
While you are waiting, instead of sitting there being anxious and worrying and
00:17:50.526 --> 00:17:53.006
stewing and fretting, get back to work.
00:17:53.486 --> 00:17:59.226
Either write the next book or work on something else that's a creative project
00:17:59.226 --> 00:18:00.426
that can keep your mind off it.
00:18:00.506 --> 00:18:04.046
But if you're a writer, and this is really geared towards writers,
00:18:04.446 --> 00:18:07.506
I'm going to tell you, get working on whatever else the next thing is.
00:18:07.666 --> 00:18:10.346
Write the next book, work on the next short story.
00:18:10.786 --> 00:18:14.466
Work on the next group of poems. Whatever it is you're writing,
00:18:14.946 --> 00:18:17.606
get back to work while you're waiting to hear.
00:18:17.786 --> 00:18:20.946
Because otherwise, this is what I have seen happen.
00:18:21.266 --> 00:18:23.986
People send off their book. They don't do stuff while the book's gone.
00:18:24.106 --> 00:18:27.546
They don't write. They sit. They fret. They get a rejection.
00:18:28.186 --> 00:18:32.566
It is that much harder to start the next book because they have a very negative
00:18:32.566 --> 00:18:35.926
emotion now associated with writing and submitting.
00:18:36.446 --> 00:18:42.046
And that is not a good way to conduct yourself. You will not get work done.
00:18:42.206 --> 00:18:46.306
You'll find yourself so blocked that every time you sit down to write,
00:18:46.546 --> 00:18:49.446
all you're going to be able to think about is that rejection.
00:18:49.746 --> 00:18:53.646
So I'm going to say, skip that part, get back to work.
00:18:54.006 --> 00:18:58.526
The second you send that submission off, celebrate because you sent something
00:18:58.526 --> 00:19:03.406
off and you got brave enough to send your work out into the world. That's amazing.
00:19:03.606 --> 00:19:05.986
Give yourself credit and celebrate that.
00:19:07.378 --> 00:19:11.778
And then get back to work. Okay? Get back to work. Take a day off if you need to.
00:19:12.058 --> 00:19:17.058
Take two days off. But get back to work. It is the one thing that is the underpinning
00:19:17.058 --> 00:19:18.378
of creative resilience.
00:19:18.738 --> 00:19:23.978
Because when you are creating, when are you writing, what is a writer? A writer writes.
00:19:24.378 --> 00:19:28.178
Okay? A writer writes. You have to do it. It's the only way.
00:19:28.338 --> 00:19:30.298
You know, the only way out is through.
00:19:30.738 --> 00:19:36.198
So learning to deal with rejection and becoming creatively resilient has a lot
00:19:36.198 --> 00:19:37.658
to do with getting back to work.
00:19:37.838 --> 00:19:40.018
So that is my number one piece of advice.
00:19:40.618 --> 00:19:45.678
You know, if you haven't started it, it is going to be that much harder to do
00:19:45.678 --> 00:19:46.538
when you get a rejection.
00:19:46.718 --> 00:19:52.338
Now, say there were circumstances that prevented you from starting work right
00:19:52.338 --> 00:19:53.738
after you sent off your submission.
00:19:54.338 --> 00:20:00.458
In that case, I'm going to tell you to take that manuscript that was just rejected.
00:20:00.678 --> 00:20:02.718
Don't rework it in the heat of the moment.
00:20:03.098 --> 00:20:07.998
Okay, put it aside. Unless you got a really good response from an editor or
00:20:07.998 --> 00:20:12.198
an agent that said, if you correct this, these things, please send it back to
00:20:12.198 --> 00:20:14.878
me, like a revise and resubmit.
00:20:15.038 --> 00:20:18.858
That is an amazing rejection because it's not really, it's sort of a half rejection,
00:20:19.318 --> 00:20:23.278
revise and resubmit, meaning please rework these things and send it back to
00:20:23.278 --> 00:20:24.118
me because I'm interested.
00:20:24.618 --> 00:20:29.198
That's amazing if you get that. If you don't get that, take that manuscript and put it aside.
00:20:29.598 --> 00:20:34.498
Don't go back and rework it while you're still in the throes of that rejection.
00:20:34.758 --> 00:20:38.938
Work on a new thing, work on a different thing, work on the next book.
00:20:39.538 --> 00:20:42.638
There are many people that the first book in a series didn't sell,
00:20:42.738 --> 00:20:46.618
but the second book sold because they had learned how to write better to...
00:20:47.942 --> 00:20:51.142
There are many people whose first book in a series doesn't sell,
00:20:51.262 --> 00:20:55.162
but the second book sells, and then later they're able to bring that first book,
00:20:55.262 --> 00:20:57.302
what was the first book, back as a second book.
00:20:58.242 --> 00:21:02.322
Writing can be wacky like that as far as what gets accepted and what doesn't.
00:21:02.902 --> 00:21:07.642
But the bottom line is, get back to work. Stop what-iffing.
00:21:08.282 --> 00:21:09.502
Stop stewing.
00:21:10.282 --> 00:21:15.542
Stop beating yourself up and thinking badly of yourself, get back to work.
00:21:15.662 --> 00:21:20.462
Because the work is what is going to heal you. Being creative again is what is going to heal you.
00:21:21.002 --> 00:21:24.942
Putting words on paper, telling a story. You're a storyteller. You're a writer.
00:21:25.642 --> 00:21:32.862
Lean into that. Lean into being in your own world where you control the characters
00:21:32.862 --> 00:21:34.922
and you control what goes on.
00:21:35.362 --> 00:21:39.822
That's such a break from reality. It's so delightful to lean into your work
00:21:39.822 --> 00:21:47.302
and be there and let yourself be the creator that you are, the writer that you are.
00:21:47.522 --> 00:21:53.122
In the process of dealing with rejections, and I just talked about revise and
00:21:53.122 --> 00:22:00.762
resubmit, the most important part is to learn from the rejection and take from it what you can.
00:22:01.823 --> 00:22:05.543
And again, I'm going to touch on those. Was it a bad fit? Was it poor research
00:22:05.543 --> 00:22:13.163
on your part that you didn't find someone who would represent or be interested in what you are selling?
00:22:13.743 --> 00:22:18.323
Is it that you need to polish a few things? Maybe you need to get better at
00:22:18.323 --> 00:22:20.463
dialogue. Maybe you need to get better at setting.
00:22:21.023 --> 00:22:25.543
If you get a personalized response letter or a revise and resubmit,
00:22:25.703 --> 00:22:28.563
pay attention to what they've asked you to do.
00:22:28.803 --> 00:22:33.083
A revise and resubmit oftentimes will lead to representation.
00:22:33.823 --> 00:22:38.783
They want to see if you can fix the things that they found problems with.
00:22:38.983 --> 00:22:43.343
Now, if it's a fix that you don't want to do, for instance, if you have written
00:22:43.343 --> 00:22:48.143
a book that falls under the LGBTQI umbrella and they want you to turn it into
00:22:48.143 --> 00:22:51.543
a straight manuscript, you are absolutely within your rights to go,
00:22:51.723 --> 00:22:53.283
nope, that's not what this book is about.
00:22:53.883 --> 00:22:58.983
And any of those major things, if they don't want you as you are,
00:22:59.063 --> 00:23:02.643
your story as it is, if they are asking you to change everything about it,
00:23:02.783 --> 00:23:04.863
then that may not be a good fit for you.
00:23:05.283 --> 00:23:10.383
But if the changes they are asking you to make are things that you feel are
00:23:10.383 --> 00:23:14.383
reasonable, will fit within the story that you wanted to tell,
00:23:14.543 --> 00:23:17.923
and are acceptable to you, make those changes.
00:23:18.543 --> 00:23:21.903
They have taken the time to help you.
00:23:22.463 --> 00:23:28.363
Constructive criticism, helping you understand what it is that would make your
00:23:28.363 --> 00:23:30.943
work more marketable, if that is your goal.
00:23:31.083 --> 00:23:34.823
And if you are a creator that you want eyes on what you're creating,
00:23:34.943 --> 00:23:38.303
if you're a writer and you want people to read your book, making it marketable,
00:23:38.463 --> 00:23:42.203
making it something people want to pick up and read is the point,
00:23:42.703 --> 00:23:48.643
then pay attention to what they included in their letter.
00:23:49.941 --> 00:23:55.601
Now, here are some things not to do. Don't give up.
00:23:56.221 --> 00:24:02.161
Rejection is absolutely normal and very much a part of the publishing process.
00:24:02.541 --> 00:24:08.021
Most published authors have dozens, if not hundreds, of rejections.
00:24:08.841 --> 00:24:12.261
Okay, so that's normal. That's part of it. That's part and parcel.
00:24:12.261 --> 00:24:18.261
If you are looking for representation or being traditionally published. It's just how it goes.
00:24:18.641 --> 00:24:22.901
Two, do not air your grievances online.
00:24:23.181 --> 00:24:29.241
Back away from the keyboard. Get off social media. Take yourself away from that.
00:24:29.881 --> 00:24:36.021
Do not air your grievances for the world to see. Keep it private.
00:24:36.681 --> 00:24:44.701
Maintain. Do not destroy your future as a published person by appearing to be
00:24:44.701 --> 00:24:46.021
immature and difficult.
00:24:46.421 --> 00:24:52.721
And let's face it, getting online and ranting to whoever happens to read your
00:24:52.721 --> 00:24:57.041
feed is basically immature because you know what?
00:24:57.241 --> 00:25:01.621
There's a good chance the person who rejected you may not see it,
00:25:01.721 --> 00:25:04.961
but one of their friends might see it and say, hey, did you see this?
00:25:05.241 --> 00:25:10.521
Even if you think you're doing a good job thinly veiling things or hiding stuff
00:25:10.521 --> 00:25:14.361
about what it is you're complaining about, someone will figure it out.
00:25:15.291 --> 00:25:21.351
And you look very immature to complain about something that is really just part of the business.
00:25:21.691 --> 00:25:25.591
And if you're going to be part of that world, and if that's what you're trying to seek out,
00:25:25.851 --> 00:25:31.811
you need to accept that that's going to happen and find ways to deal with it
00:25:31.811 --> 00:25:38.651
that don't involve you ranting and losing your credibility as a reasonable individual in public.
00:25:38.991 --> 00:25:43.091
And number three, don't try and please everyone.
00:25:43.831 --> 00:25:48.911
Don't sell out for representation or to be published.
00:25:49.311 --> 00:25:54.331
If you feel strongly that your manuscript should remain the way that it is as
00:25:54.331 --> 00:26:00.691
far as subject matter, as far as who the people are that are in your book, don't give that up.
00:26:01.151 --> 00:26:04.051
There is no reason for you to do that.
00:26:04.191 --> 00:26:08.331
There are so many options these days for getting your work out in front of people
00:26:08.331 --> 00:26:11.911
that don't involve traditional gatekeepers and traditional publishing.
00:26:11.911 --> 00:26:14.691
So hold on to that hold on
00:26:14.691 --> 00:26:18.411
to who you are as a creative person and know
00:26:18.411 --> 00:26:21.331
that you're you trust your gut trust your
00:26:21.331 --> 00:26:25.151
gut around what the story should be and understand
00:26:25.151 --> 00:26:28.511
that things like dialogue learning to to
00:26:28.511 --> 00:26:35.351
tighten up your dialogue or tighten up the pacing or make changes that don't
00:26:35.351 --> 00:26:40.711
infect to the integrity of the story are part and parcel of learning to work
00:26:40.711 --> 00:26:46.571
with a publisher and work with an editor and to make a book more readable and
00:26:46.571 --> 00:26:48.071
improve the reader's experience.
00:26:48.251 --> 00:26:51.911
And that's what editors do for you. And I have a podcast on how to play nice
00:26:51.911 --> 00:26:56.371
with others and how to work with editors and beta readers. And I'll link that in the description.
00:26:57.271 --> 00:27:02.611
But the thing that you don't want to do is give up the essence of your book
00:27:02.611 --> 00:27:04.451
in order to be published.
00:27:04.711 --> 00:27:06.511
Don't do that. You don't have to.
00:27:07.011 --> 00:27:12.491
And that is a very important thing for you to hang on to and know about.
00:27:13.599 --> 00:27:21.239
Finally, remember you are the steward of your own creative process and the master
00:27:21.239 --> 00:27:22.679
of your own creative life.
00:27:23.319 --> 00:27:27.679
Develop this creative resilience because no one else, editors,
00:27:27.979 --> 00:27:33.919
agents, publishers, they're business partners, but they are not in control of
00:27:33.919 --> 00:27:37.479
you or your creative process, nor should they ever be.
00:27:37.679 --> 00:27:42.179
If they want to work with you, they want to work with you as a creative person,
00:27:42.179 --> 00:27:44.379
and that's the bottom line.
00:27:44.579 --> 00:27:47.339
You are in control of yourself. You are in control of your work.
00:27:47.419 --> 00:27:54.379
And you should retain control of your creative products, be it a book, music, art, whatever.
00:27:54.679 --> 00:28:01.559
You are in control of that. As a writer, you should maintain control of your creative process.
00:28:02.139 --> 00:28:03.979
Now, a word about agents.
00:28:04.619 --> 00:28:08.159
Because there are many people that seek representation of.
00:28:09.062 --> 00:28:12.882
And that's a reasonable thing to do as a writer. If that's what your goal is,
00:28:13.102 --> 00:28:19.002
when you work with an agent, remember always, agents work on commission.
00:28:19.522 --> 00:28:22.422
And if they don't think they can sell your book to a publisher,
00:28:22.722 --> 00:28:25.502
they're not going to sign you. They're not going to represent you.
00:28:26.082 --> 00:28:33.382
Because that's their business. It is not a referendum on your value or worth as a person or a writer.
00:28:33.762 --> 00:28:39.082
This is especially true if you are writing under the LGBTQI umbrella,
00:28:39.082 --> 00:28:43.262
or if you're writing genre mashups, or niche fiction.
00:28:43.642 --> 00:28:48.162
Big houses, big publishing houses, which is where they're going to try and sell
00:28:48.162 --> 00:28:50.402
your work, are risk adverse.
00:28:51.022 --> 00:28:56.542
That does not mean that your book has no audience, but it may not be that the
00:28:56.542 --> 00:29:00.642
agent sees an audience that is going to be profitable for them.
00:29:01.942 --> 00:29:08.122
Don't take anyone's editor, agent, publishing house, their rejection.
00:29:08.122 --> 00:29:09.762
Don't take that to heart.
00:29:09.922 --> 00:29:13.442
Do not let it derail your career as a writer.
00:29:14.362 --> 00:29:19.902
Remember, once you hit send on a submission, your control ends.
00:29:20.082 --> 00:29:23.262
You can't force a yes. You can't manifest an offer.
00:29:24.240 --> 00:29:28.360
What you can control is your craft, your professionalism, and your persistence.
00:29:29.160 --> 00:29:37.520
Embrace creative resilience. Embrace the reality of rejection if you seek to
00:29:37.520 --> 00:29:38.680
be published traditionally.
00:29:39.200 --> 00:29:42.920
And know that you have this. You are a writer.
00:29:43.240 --> 00:29:48.920
You are capable of creating worlds out of nothing. You are powerful.
00:29:49.380 --> 00:29:55.140
Rejection is an initiation, not a verdict. and every rejection puts you in the
00:29:55.140 --> 00:30:00.820
club of working writers that are seeking traditional publication or representation.
00:30:01.780 --> 00:30:06.480
Creative resilience is the ability to get knocked down, to feel the sting and keep going.
00:30:06.880 --> 00:30:10.280
It's a muscle you build and we need your voice.
00:30:10.540 --> 00:30:15.080
Seriously, the world needs more diverse, bold, weird, heartfelt stories,
00:30:15.940 --> 00:30:18.620
neurodiverse stories. We need you.
00:30:19.000 --> 00:30:24.460
We need your work. So don't quit. don't shelve your passion to write because
00:30:24.460 --> 00:30:28.580
one agent or one editor or one publishing house said no.
00:30:28.940 --> 00:30:31.440
You are more than one email.
00:30:31.820 --> 00:30:36.340
So until I talk to you next time, get back to work, get back to your keyboard,
00:30:36.840 --> 00:30:40.780
keep writing, keep striving towards your writing goals.
00:30:41.280 --> 00:30:45.340
Thanks for tuning in to Writing While Distracted, where we navigate the winding
00:30:45.340 --> 00:30:48.180
roads of creativity amidst the chaos of distraction.
00:30:48.280 --> 00:30:52.740
If you've enjoyed this podcast and found it useful, please share it and tag me.
00:30:52.940 --> 00:30:56.240
DM me and let me know what other topics you'd like me to explore.
00:30:56.620 --> 00:31:00.720
Please leave a review. It really helps get the podcast in front of more folks.
00:31:01.200 --> 00:31:05.540
Remember, in the dance between focus and diversion, every stumble is a step
00:31:05.540 --> 00:31:07.160
closer to mastering the art of writing.
00:31:07.460 --> 00:31:11.960
Join us next time as we continue to unravel the mysteries of the writer's mind.
00:31:12.080 --> 00:31:18.340
Until then, keep writing, keep wandering, and embrace the distractions that fuel your creativity.
00:31:18.660 --> 00:31:20.940
Stay tuned. Stay inspired.