E72: Why Chasing a Single Purpose Is a Trap—And How Happiness Evolves Over Time with Mark Decarlo

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Work is preparing your lines, but when you finally step onto the stage, that's the fun part.
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So many people spend their lives searching for purpose, like it's one destination, one title, one answer.
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But purpose evolves as we evolve.
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It changes with age, experience, failure, success, and the people we meet along the way.
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And today's guest is the perfect example of that.
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From storytelling to entertainment, creativity to collaboration, he's worn many hats and continues to reinvent himself while staying true to what makes him happy.
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Because there are no ABCs to purpose, no perfect roadmap.
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Maybe the better question is this What are the last 10 things that genuinely made you happy?
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Time is our most precious resource today.
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So I spend it chasing things that drain us.
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Let's roll right in.
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All right, welcome to the Works Ducks, but I like it podcast.
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Today we have Mark DiCarlo.
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He's an Emmy-winning improv comedian, host, screenwriter, and best-selling author of the book A Fork on the Road, 400 Cities, One Stomach.
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He was also the voice of Hugh Neutron in the Nickelodeon TV series Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius.
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Mark speaks on the only thing that matters in this life: happiness.
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Mark, welcome to the show.
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Tony, I am happy to be here.
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Thanks for having me.
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Awesome.
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Mark, define work for the listeners today.
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Define work.
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Well, there's a lot of different ways to define work.
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I mean, the most base thing is something you do that you wouldn't normally do unless somebody was paying you to do it.
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And I think a lot of Americans, a lot of people in the world, that's how they approach work.
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But ideally, you want to find a work, a job, a thing that generates income for you that also feeds your soul and makes you happy and is productive and good for you and good for society.
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And I think a lot of people don't automatically realize that they're entitled to at least search for something like that.
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And they kind of settle for jobs that they hate and uh do it for 40 years and then retire.
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And um, there's a better way.
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And it's actually better for you and better for your employer if you're doing something that you really enjoy.
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So even though that it's work, it's something that uh feeds you financially and emotionally and spiritually and any other way you want to get fed.
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Love that, Mark.
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So why do you think people are like so serious with how they sort of define that bleak side of work?
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Why do we really define work like that?
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I think a lot of people are held captive by fear.
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They live their lives based on fear as opposed to centering your life on happiness.
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And, you know, I get it.
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If you've got a family and a spouse and taxes and school, and you know, life is complicated.
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There's a lot of moving parts.
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And I I've just known personally a lot of people who end up taking a job because it pays really well, but they despise it.
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And then, you know, they wake up 20 years later and they've been doing something that they hate 40 hours a week, 50 hours a week, 60 hours a week, just to get a paycheck when really, if you can figure out what your purpose is, find out what makes you happy, there's probably a way to make a living from doing that.
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It just takes a little extra uh inventiveness and time.
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But I think if you respect yourself, you should at least invest that time and try.
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Um the just just the sound of the word work is, you know, it's heavy and it sounds like it sucks.
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Um, I mean, from an acting point of view, I think the work that the actor does is auditioning and learning your lines and doing all the other crap you have to do.
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Once you're on set, it's not work, it's fun.
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You have to prepare, and you know, that's the part of it.
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And you audition, you don't get jobs.
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That's the work part of it.
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But the part that is enjoyable and um fulfilling is the the actual job that you're hired to do.
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And I think most people would benefit from balancing those two things a little better.
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So, Mark, talk to us about purpose because you've been a comedian, uh, you're still comedian, you know, screenwriter, an author.
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You've done all these different things.
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Talk to us about purpose because I think people sometimes think that purpose is this one thing.
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How do you see purpose now?
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No.
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I I think purpose, first of all, it can be many things.
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I think it evolves as you get older.
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You know, my purpose in my 20s was to meet girls and play sports, and now um I've added a couple of things to that list, and I found the one girl I needed.
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So um purpose is anything that makes you feel alive and good, and I don't think a lot of people even realize that they can chase that, right?
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My dad was a plumber, I'm a plumber, I don't like it, but I'm making a living, and you know, that's just what we do.
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I that's never really worked for me.
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I think that the the everyone, you know, we're uh like a fingerprint.
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That's my neighbor taken off on his Harley.
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Um everyone is completely different.
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So the the problem is there's no there's no ABC to find your purpose.
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What I do when I'm doing my um my workshops and my speeches, I ask people, list the last 10 times you know you were happy.
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What were you doing?
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Were you painting?
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Were you fishing?
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Were you working, uh, riding your motorcycle?
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What what was it?
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And then look at that list of 10 things.
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And if your job, your work doesn't include any of them, you're probably doing the wrong job.
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And you should figure out a way to align the things that you enjoy with the things that will pay you.
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So early on, I realized that I liked comedy and I liked performing.
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Um, and uh my best friend in high school's two older siblings were on stage at Second City in downtown Chicago, and we would sneak in and watch the shows, and it just looked magical.
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They were improvising, had no scripts, and they could do a 45-minute hilarious show.
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And when I realized that they were getting paid, I'm like, wow, that's what I want to do.
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And I've kind of oriented my life towards that.
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And it has expanded as I've gotten older into corporate speaking and teaching and trying to help people travel better, travel more informed, and just lead better lives.
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I I it as far as I know, this is the only life that we get.
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So my goal is to be as happy as possible every single day.
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I almost died in high school.
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I had this epiphany in the hospital that nothing matters more than being happy.
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So I try and do things that make me happy to the exclusion of things that don't.
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And I think if you center your life on purpose in finding what makes you happy, everything else falls into place.
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Because you're always going to be better at a job that you enjoy than a job that you don't enjoy, right?
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Yes.
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You enjoy podcasting, which is why you're good at it.
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If you hated it, you would not be as good.
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I mean, that's just that's just the way the world works.
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So I think it's incumbent on every individual to kind of take a moment, regardless of, you know, you're 20, 40, 50, wherever you are in your life, sit down and think, well, you know, what do I like?
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What makes me happy?
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What do I enjoy?
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And am I doing enough of it?
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And if I'm not doing enough of it, I'm gonna figure out a way where I can do more.
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And if you can then marry that with a source of income, you found your perfect purpose.
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But it takes time and thinking, and um no one's gonna give you the answer.
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You can only figure out the answer by looking into yourself and you know, being honest with yourself.
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And I think a lot of times fear prevents people from doing that.
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No, I love that, Mark.
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So I'm always curious.
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You mentioned you had a near-death experience in high school.
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I love guests like yourself, like that come onto the show and they sort of have this transformation with how they see work.
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Would you say that back in high school when you had this NDE, that what did what did it shift for you?
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What was this sort of identity shift that you saw in that that kind of said, wow, I need to be chasing happiness?
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Walk us through that sort of experience.
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It shifted everything.
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I mean, I was I was 14 and I was at track practice in high school.
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I got hit by a shot, put my ribs cracked, my spleen burst, and I almost bled bled out to death.
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I was unconscious for three days.
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I woke up in the hospital.
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The first thing my doctor said is he stuck his head in my room and goes, Oh, you're awake.
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Another 10 minutes, we would have lost you.
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And most 14-year-olds are not considering their mortality or thinking they're gonna die.
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Dying is what happens to old people, right?
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And it really hit me like, wow, I I almost died.
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And at the time I was really fat.
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I was 250 pounds as a freshman in high school and couldn't get dates, uh, you know, was on the JV team, couldn't play bar, you know, I wasn't really good at baseball, though I really wanted to be.
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And I tried diets before and in secret, and they never worked.
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So I'm laying in the bed going, well, you know what?
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If I could die tomorrow, I want to have a happier today.
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So I, once I got out of the hospital, I changed my plan.
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I told everybody I knew, my friends, my family, everybody, that I was gonna lose 80 pounds by my birthday in five months.
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And told everybody.
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And basically locking myself into it, right?
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So I wouldn't backslide again.
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And I had friends from the drama club that were also girlfriends who were also running cross-country, uh, girls cross-country.
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I couldn't keep up with the dudes.
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So I said, you know, can I run with you guys after school?
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And they were like, Yeah, sure, great.
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So I started exercising more and eating less.
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And in five months, I lost 80 pounds and got down to 170 pounds, and it changed my life in two ways.
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Number one, um, my pants didn't wear out in the crotch because my thighs were rubbing together all the time.
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And it gave me the confidence to know that anything a normal person can do, so could I.
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I'm smart enough, I've got enough stick tuitiveness.
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If a normal person could achieve X, then I could achieve it.
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Not hoping that I could achieve it, but knowing that I could.
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And that confidence has carried me through my life, you know, in speaking, in acting, in comedy.
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And being thinner also made me happier.
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I was in shape and wasn't as limited as I was before.
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And that all sprang from almost dying and realizing that, you know, everyone listening to this podcast is going to be dead by the year 2100.
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All of us.
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And the most precious resource each one of us has is time.
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So why would you waste another day, another week, another month, another year doing stuff that you don't enjoy?
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And from that day in high school, I I it's like I started, you know, a new life.
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And I, every time I had a major decision to make or a minor decision, I would ask myself, which will get me closer to my goal?
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That immediate goal being losing 80 pounds, eating this pizza or walking around the block and then having an apple when I get back?
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What will make me happier?
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And then I try and do that thing.
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Now, you know, I wasn't always right.
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My decisions weren't always correct.
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But in general, if by orienting my life that way, what's going to make me happier?
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X or Y.
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If you keep making decent choices on that decision, your life automatically gets happier.
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And I realized I didn't, when I graduated from college, I had an offer to go work in PR.
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And I had been doing theater at UCLA and was doing stand-up comedy already.
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And I really loved doing it.
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Even when I bombed, which was often at that point, I enjoyed it and it was fun and it was engaging, and it kind of, you know, it I used all of what I thought my skill set was.
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Doing PR would not have been the same.
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It would have been a job, it would have been work.
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And I I turned that job down and started working as an actor and got lucky and started booking commercials and television shows.
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And I think a large uh a main reason why that worked is because I enjoyed it.
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And because I enjoyed it, I was good at.
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And but it was a choice.
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I could have taken guaranteed money from the Uniden Corporation of America to do PR for them and, you know, made good money and probably been relatively happy.
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But in the back of my mind, I would always be saying, oh man, this isn't really what I want to do.
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So one of the things we like to talk about on the show is that success is not a matter of good luck, it's good skill.
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Through that journey that you had, what would you say was the one skill from all these sort of different things, TV, voice, live comedy?
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What's the one skill that you believe has made you successful today?
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I think I understand people really well, and I'm a storyteller.
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If you're doing improv or you're doing comedy or you're writing a screenplay, or you're acting, you're telling a story.
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And that's one of the original human things, you know, from cave painting to uh the initial writing to communication to talking to plays to music.
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What does a culture leave behind once it's gone?
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It's the stories.
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We know mythology because all the Greeks wrote down their stories and they were so beautiful and and interesting, they survived.
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Same thing with the Romans, same thing with the Egyptians.
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You know, it stories engage people in a variety of ways, but the it it a good story captures you intellectually and emotionally.
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And I think the one skill that I have that touches all the different ways that I make a living is storytelling.
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And it's um it it it's it sounds like a trivial thing, really.
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You know, my brother's a lawyer, my other brother's a doctor, those are important jobs.
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But I think storytelling i i is also important because it defines who we are as a people, as a culture, and um it's uh uh eternal, really, I think, you know, a good story.
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We're still reading Shakespeare's stories, you know, 600 years later.
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So you have a very unique perspective, right?
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So you've written a story, your book, you've acted in other people's stories, you're living your story, right?
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I guess walk us, walk us through.
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So what I was uh before we got on the the call here to do this episode today, I was listening to previous episodes, and you said something to the extent of like, you know, you like being an improviser more than an actor because it made you a better listener.
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I probably butchered what you had said because you said it way better.
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But walk us through why better listening makes us, I guess, going back to the thread here of telling stories.
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It it is the essential skill.
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You and I are having a conversation.
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If I was just here and I was selling my book or I had five talking points that I wanted to jam down your throat, regardless of what you said, this would be a shitty podcast.
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Yes.
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Because I wouldn't be listening to you.
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Conversation.
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I love to do this all the time here in LA.
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Everyone always has their phone, well, everyone really has their nose buried in their phone all the time.
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I get into an elevator with a stranger, I say hello, and they physically jump because nobody talks, you know.
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Um when I was doing my travel channel show, I did uh five hundred five seasons.
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I was on the road 10 months a year.
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And at the end of the day, oftentimes I would go out uh without my crew just to be, you know, we're in Burlington, Vermont.
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What up, what's going on here?
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And I would go out and walk and talk to people just as a solo person.
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And you you meet interesting people and you hear interesting stories.
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This is this is like a cacophony of outdoor sounds.
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I don't know what the hell is going on down there.
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It's part of the story, Mark.
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It is, yes.
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The story of Mark getting cranky because his neighborhood's loud today.
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That's not good.
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Uh um it we I'm listening to the noise down there.
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I think it's funny.
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It's listening, is the way you can tune into another human being and learn a different experience than your own.
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I always go back to uh Johnny Carson, uh, who you know was on the air with the Tonight Show for 30 years.
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And he was an excellent listener.
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He would ask his pre-prepared questions, but when a guest would say something tangential, instead of going to his next question, he would follow up because he was listening.
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I'm like, well, what do you mean about why would you and those are some of the greatest conversations because you're listening to what the person wants to tell you.
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When I was doing uh the dating show studs, a lot of times I would ask a question that people didn't want to answer.
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And I could tell by what they said that there was more to the story.
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So by listening to them of what they said and what they didn't say, I was able to ask the next better question and get to something funny or get to something interesting.
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And I think um people that are just a little too self-absorbed or narcissistic or tuned out don't listen.
00:19:35.200 --> 00:19:35.519
Right?
00:19:35.680 --> 00:19:38.000
You can have a conversation with someone and not listen.
00:19:38.240 --> 00:19:38.640
Uh-huh.
00:19:38.960 --> 00:19:39.359
Yeah.
00:19:39.599 --> 00:19:40.000
Really?
00:19:40.240 --> 00:19:40.960
Okay, great.
00:19:41.200 --> 00:19:41.839
Uh-huh.
00:19:42.079 --> 00:19:46.400
But you're cheating yourself out of that interaction and you're not going to learn anything.
00:19:46.559 --> 00:19:47.440
You know, I'm not sure.
00:19:47.599 --> 00:19:49.119
Why do you think our conversations?
00:19:49.680 --> 00:19:50.240
Oh, sorry.
00:19:50.480 --> 00:19:51.119
Go ahead.
00:19:51.519 --> 00:19:58.880
I'm not listening right there, but why do you think that you're we're I'm just I really want to keep going with this listening aspect because I really agree with you.
00:19:59.039 --> 00:20:03.759
And I just feel like, you know, with online today, everybody's shouting for attention.
00:20:03.839 --> 00:20:07.920
They want their likes and their followers and their comments, but no one's really listening.
00:20:08.079 --> 00:20:11.759
Why do you think we've gotten to this point, Mark, in terms of our communication?
00:20:11.839 --> 00:20:14.000
Why do we suck at listening?
00:20:14.400 --> 00:20:15.039
We do.
00:20:15.200 --> 00:20:17.279
Well, I it's exactly what you just said.
00:20:17.599 --> 00:20:21.839
People are online, they're not online to converse, they're online to make money.
00:20:22.000 --> 00:20:26.079
And they're online to make clicks and get likes and views.
00:20:26.160 --> 00:20:28.559
And to me, it is just assinate.
00:20:28.720 --> 00:20:29.039
Yeah.
00:20:29.200 --> 00:20:35.440
Who cares that 400 people liked your cop going to the gym Friday leg day?
00:20:35.759 --> 00:20:36.640
Who cares?
00:20:36.880 --> 00:20:37.759
I don't care.
00:20:37.839 --> 00:20:40.640
Even if you're my friend, I don't care.
00:20:41.519 --> 00:20:47.519
People have gotten and and technology, you know, the the the the smartphone is 12 years old.
00:20:47.680 --> 00:20:47.920
No.
00:20:48.079 --> 00:20:48.559
What is it?
00:20:48.640 --> 00:20:50.319
15, 20 years old at the most.
00:20:50.640 --> 00:20:51.039
Getting up.
00:20:51.440 --> 00:20:52.400
15 years old.
00:20:52.799 --> 00:20:56.319
It has completely changed culture on earth.
00:20:57.039 --> 00:21:00.480
You know, you can find out anything you want to find out instantly.
00:21:00.799 --> 00:21:05.200
But people cross the street in front of my car without even looking up, staring at their phone.
00:21:06.559 --> 00:21:16.480
It it is projecting yourself into the digital void it it enthralls people for some reason.
00:21:17.920 --> 00:21:19.119
Me not so much.
00:21:19.279 --> 00:21:31.680
I I think the louder and more crowded the communication technology becomes, the more loud and irritating you have to be to break through.
00:21:31.920 --> 00:21:36.480
And it just keeps keeps ramping up and ramping up and ramping up, you know?
00:21:36.720 --> 00:21:50.640
Um you you you have to be more outrageous and louder and more obnoxious and more offensive than you were last year to keep feeding this beast that you've created online, which is total it's a fallacy.
00:21:50.960 --> 00:21:52.480
These people aren't your friends.
00:21:52.720 --> 00:21:54.559
They're not following you.
00:21:54.880 --> 00:21:57.759
You ever watch people scroll on their phone?
00:21:58.079 --> 00:22:04.640
It's it's gar it's It's throw away noise that they're consuming because they're bored.
00:22:04.960 --> 00:22:11.599
When I was a little kid, we'd come home from school, we'd change our clothes, we'd get on our bikes, and we'd come home when it was dark.
00:22:12.000 --> 00:22:16.559
And we played with our friends, we goofed around, and we did stuff.
00:22:16.720 --> 00:22:18.400
Now kids sit and they stare at their phones.
00:22:18.559 --> 00:22:23.119
Even if there's four of them together playing, they're on their phone.
00:22:23.680 --> 00:22:26.799
And I just to me that it's not enjoyable.
00:22:26.880 --> 00:22:27.279
I don't know.
00:22:27.519 --> 00:22:30.559
I sound like a cranky old man, but no, Mark, I'm with you.
00:22:30.640 --> 00:22:44.480
I was at a Panera um, you know, a couple months ago, and there was a soccer team that was that just come in, they're like these young kids, and they just come back from again playing soccer, and all of them at the table were on their phone.
00:22:44.880 --> 00:22:45.200
Right.
00:22:45.440 --> 00:22:46.799
It's like, are you kidding me?
00:22:46.960 --> 00:22:47.839
You just played soccer.
00:22:47.920 --> 00:22:49.200
Like, what are you doing on your phone?
00:22:49.680 --> 00:22:51.680
And then the parents brought their phone to me.
00:22:51.839 --> 00:22:54.480
Yeah, it's it's um that's crazy.
00:22:54.720 --> 00:22:59.680
It it it it it it's you know, by design, it's designed to be addictive.
00:22:59.920 --> 00:23:07.200
Uh social media is designed to give you those little dopamine blasts of, oh, someone cares about I'm going to the gym.
00:23:07.359 --> 00:23:09.119
Someone likes my outfit.
00:23:09.359 --> 00:23:10.319
They don't.
00:23:10.720 --> 00:23:14.240
They don't, they wouldn't recognize you in a police lineup.
00:23:15.119 --> 00:23:22.079
It is it is the entire social media ecostructure is designed for one thing and one thing only.
00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:25.119
To get you addicted, to sell you stuff.
00:23:25.440 --> 00:23:26.799
It is advertising.
00:23:27.039 --> 00:23:31.920
How do you balance then this idea of social media addiction versus entertainment?
00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:33.920
Especially, I'd love to hear from your perspective, right?
00:23:34.000 --> 00:23:37.920
For doing shows and writing books and these things, which I love, by the way.
00:23:38.079 --> 00:23:43.599
What are your thoughts and how do we steer through this sort of mess that society's created now?
00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:44.720
I mean, it's hard.
00:23:44.880 --> 00:23:49.680
You go back and look at a comedy movie 20 or 30 years old.
00:23:49.839 --> 00:23:54.240
The scenes are longer, the ideas are a little more nuanced.
00:23:54.640 --> 00:23:58.720
Um you know, uh a story takes a little longer to unspool.
00:23:58.799 --> 00:24:03.039
Now the attention span has condensed so much that everything has to be immediate.
00:24:03.200 --> 00:24:05.519
I mean, look at TikTok is the perfect example.
00:24:05.759 --> 00:24:13.920
It's literally, you know, a billion people around the world getting hit in the nuts with a ball in one way or another, right?
00:24:14.160 --> 00:24:18.640
I mean, and you know, uh, don't get me wrong, that can be hilarious.
00:24:18.880 --> 00:24:19.839
It is funny, I agree.
00:24:20.319 --> 00:24:32.720
Uh to to to try and create, you know, a half-hour sitcom or do stand-up or do uh anime the animation stuff I'm doing now, it requires context and story and character and structure.
00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:35.519
And even that has to be condensed.
00:24:35.759 --> 00:24:38.799
So, you know, you can't fight that.
00:24:38.960 --> 00:24:47.920
I I try and break through with things that look interesting and sound interesting and are are compelling and funny.
00:24:48.240 --> 00:24:57.680
Um, you know, a great joke takes a moment to work because you need a setup, you need a moment, and then you need the punchline.
00:24:57.920 --> 00:25:02.240
If the setup and the moment and the punchline all come together, it's not as funny.
00:25:02.559 --> 00:25:11.519
I mean, uh the uh Peter Sellers did a movie called The Party in the 60s sometime, and very little dialogue in the movie.
00:25:11.599 --> 00:25:22.880
It's just Peter Sellers playing an Indian guy at a Hollywood party, and it it it it is hilarious, but it's just him doing physical gags at this party.
00:25:23.039 --> 00:25:31.039
And it's not fast-paced, it's slow, and but the laughs build because of the tension in the scene.
00:25:31.279 --> 00:25:41.119
So I I mean to answer your question, I don't I don't know that there is a way out because again, this whole system is built on monetization.
00:25:41.359 --> 00:25:45.599
It's it's no one cares about your content, it's about what we're selling.
00:25:45.759 --> 00:25:55.839
And you're the stooge making the content so that I can sell my four my five-step plan, or I can sell my you know, shoes that light up at night.
00:25:56.079 --> 00:25:58.400
Which is, you know, show business has always been that way.
00:25:58.559 --> 00:26:02.720
You know, it's half-hour sitcom is 21 minutes, and the other nine minutes are ads.
00:26:03.119 --> 00:26:07.920
And it's just it just keeps collapsing on itself like a black hole of bullshit.
00:26:08.160 --> 00:26:09.680
Can you say bullshit on this podcast?
00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:10.720
Oh, come on, Mark.
00:26:10.799 --> 00:26:12.880
This is the work sucks, but I like it podcast.
00:26:13.279 --> 00:26:18.160
So at some point, though, I just think of like so a stun will get larger and larger, right?
00:26:18.240 --> 00:26:19.440
And eventually explode.
00:26:19.599 --> 00:26:23.359
You mentioned like people's voices getting, you know, it becomes a black hole.
00:26:23.519 --> 00:26:25.519
Um, people shouting louder and louder.
00:26:25.599 --> 00:26:28.160
At some point, it's gotta boil over, right?
00:26:28.240 --> 00:26:30.079
I guess where do you see it?
00:26:30.240 --> 00:26:31.440
Are we gonna boil over soon?
00:26:31.519 --> 00:26:35.920
Is it gonna be 2100 when we when we're all dead and then we don't have to deal with this crap?
00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:36.880
Or what is it?
00:26:37.200 --> 00:26:38.000
I mean, I don't know.
00:26:38.160 --> 00:26:43.039
I was just at a meeting earlier today with some animators that are using AI.
00:26:43.200 --> 00:26:54.240
And what people don't understand is right now, today, 40%, 30 to 40% of the stuff you see online that you think is real is generated by computers.
00:26:54.400 --> 00:26:59.839
It's distributed by computers, and you're downloading it and looking at it on a computer.
00:26:59.920 --> 00:27:02.000
There's no human interaction at all.
00:27:02.079 --> 00:27:10.799
It is just an optimized uh brain worm that keeps you glued to your screen so that they can sell you something.
00:27:10.960 --> 00:27:17.279
And and I would I would like to hope that it eventually kids are just like, oh, screw it.
00:27:17.359 --> 00:27:18.400
I want to go ride my bike.
00:27:18.480 --> 00:27:22.079
I want to hang out with my friends and and do something else.
00:27:22.400 --> 00:27:26.880
They have to break free from that designed addiction, though, right?
00:27:27.039 --> 00:27:31.759
Because you can't make money off a kid riding his bike unless you're the Schwinn Corporation.
00:27:32.000 --> 00:27:32.160
Right.
00:27:32.319 --> 00:27:34.480
Or unless he gets hit in the nuts with a baseball.
00:27:34.720 --> 00:27:36.240
Right, while he's riding his bike.
00:27:36.319 --> 00:27:36.640
Exactly.
00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:37.839
Right, right, right.
00:27:38.079 --> 00:27:47.680
And and I think, again, I think it goes back to people deciding that they want to orient their life around happiness.
00:27:47.920 --> 00:27:52.240
Hey, if you're happy on your phone 12 hours a day, great.
00:27:52.720 --> 00:28:17.039
But statistics and data show that there's a much higher incidence of depression and and and helplessness and all these bad emotions that have risen over the past 15 years that can reasonably, reasonably be tied to uh screen addiction and spending more time on screen than we do in real life.
00:28:17.279 --> 00:28:25.440
Um hopefully it's there'll be some breaking point, but the entire economy is pushing you in the other direction.
00:28:25.599 --> 00:28:36.000
So it'll be the iconoclasts first that break away, and you know, then they'll probably tell people on social media how great it is to be not on social media and the whole cycle starts.
00:28:36.640 --> 00:28:38.640
Well, it's funny, Mark, because that's how I feel.
00:28:38.799 --> 00:28:41.759
Like I'm off Facebook, I'm barely on Instagram.
00:28:41.920 --> 00:28:46.799
LinkedIn, I guess, is my preferred social media, but then again, it's become a friggin' Facebook now.
00:28:47.039 --> 00:28:52.480
But my message, if I were to post a lot, is be like, get off of online and go live your damn life.
00:28:52.640 --> 00:28:54.240
Like, so it's funny you say that.
00:28:54.319 --> 00:28:54.960
It's crazy.
00:28:55.200 --> 00:28:55.759
I agree, yeah.
00:28:55.839 --> 00:29:10.880
I don't go on um, you know, I I go on LinkedIn for work, but I don't linger on LinkedIn and I don't uh, you know, it's I suppose on one level it's great that people chime in and, you know, hey, congratulations on this, congratulations on that.
00:29:11.039 --> 00:29:12.400
But they don't know you.
00:29:12.640 --> 00:29:13.119
Right.
00:29:13.359 --> 00:29:22.240
They're congratulating you because they want a job from you or because they did it in a millisecond as they were scrolling because it's the thing you're supposed to do.
00:29:22.480 --> 00:29:29.279
Me, I'd rather spend a half hour with one of my friends laughing about something or playing bocce ball or whatever.
00:29:29.519 --> 00:29:29.920
Love it.
00:29:30.160 --> 00:29:35.359
But uh, you know, maybe I'm out of step with uh the rest of the world.
00:29:35.440 --> 00:29:38.720
And if you know, if you're a 12-year-old kid right now, you don't know any different.
00:29:38.880 --> 00:29:39.279
Yeah.
00:29:39.519 --> 00:29:41.759
You don't, and and your friends don't know any different.
00:29:41.920 --> 00:29:45.440
Where are you gonna find four friends to go ride bikes for five hours after school?
00:29:45.680 --> 00:29:49.119
And the thing about the bikes today is you have to, they're all battery powered.
00:29:49.200 --> 00:29:52.960
You don't even You can't exactly that's the more pathetic part.
00:29:53.279 --> 00:30:01.759
It is it is just the perfect metaphor for what is happening, what technology has the power to do to people.
00:30:02.000 --> 00:30:05.599
You're not even riding your bike, you're sitting on the bike where it pushes you.
00:30:05.759 --> 00:30:06.160
You know what?
00:30:06.319 --> 00:30:07.759
The movie Wally, did you see it?
00:30:07.839 --> 00:30:08.400
Oh, I love it.
00:30:08.480 --> 00:30:09.920
I was gonna ask you the same thing, Mark.
00:30:10.000 --> 00:30:10.799
Go ahead, fly with it.
00:30:10.880 --> 00:30:11.200
I love it.
00:30:11.440 --> 00:30:19.920
That's where we're headed, and I don't see unless you volitionally unplug, like you and I have decided to do, that's where we're all headed.
00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:26.319
We're all gonna be 600 pounds sitting on those sledge you see at Walmart, yeah, eating and watching TV.
00:30:26.480 --> 00:30:30.000
And again, if that makes you happy, great.
00:30:30.160 --> 00:30:36.960
But I I guarantee you that most of the people that are doing that could be happier doing something else.
00:30:37.119 --> 00:30:37.920
Yeah, I love that.
00:30:38.000 --> 00:30:39.759
And it made me think of the movie Don't Look Up.
00:30:39.839 --> 00:30:40.799
Have you seen that one too?
00:30:41.039 --> 00:30:41.359
Yes.
00:30:41.599 --> 00:30:42.640
Oh, it's just crazy.
00:30:42.799 --> 00:30:43.440
But yeah, right.
00:30:43.599 --> 00:31:03.440
It it's it's you know, um the the the there's all these algorithms and computer technology and AI have figured out ways to outsmart humans and really get us addicted to whatever they're trying to get it addict uh us addicted to, and it's not really a fair fight.
00:31:03.599 --> 00:31:18.559
Yeah, you know, it it you have to A, decide that you don't want to do it, and then B, you have to fight the fight and consciously not check Facebook and not check uh all the other platforms and just go out and do stuff.
00:31:18.880 --> 00:31:25.359
But it it it's it's an effort, it's an extra effort that didn't need to be expended 20 years ago.
00:31:25.599 --> 00:31:28.559
You mentioned something, and I've been kind of and I want your thoughts on this.
00:31:28.720 --> 00:31:30.880
So doing versus being, right?
00:31:30.960 --> 00:31:33.039
There's this perception that we do a lot.
00:31:33.119 --> 00:31:38.240
We want to look busy, we want to put our shit up on you know Facebook that we did leg day, right?
00:31:38.480 --> 00:31:44.000
So walk us through the difference between doing and being, or do you see a difference?
00:31:44.799 --> 00:31:45.839
Oh, there's a huge difference.
00:31:46.000 --> 00:31:47.599
All right, that's a great question.
00:31:48.079 --> 00:31:51.759
Being is what you what you are.
00:31:51.920 --> 00:32:08.000
I've decided personally that what I want to be is happy, and since that high school near-death experience, I would say I spend 97% of my waking hours doing things that are enjoyable.
00:32:08.960 --> 00:32:17.440
And I've built that life on purpose, and uh I enjoy it.
00:32:17.680 --> 00:32:20.559
So I don't have to show off to people that I'm happy.
00:32:20.640 --> 00:32:30.400
I don't have I I just know that I'm enjoying my life, and I'm enjoying today, and I'm enjoying this conversation, and I'm just being myself.
00:32:30.559 --> 00:32:36.640
I think a lot of people are afraid to examine themselves because they've never done it.
00:32:36.880 --> 00:32:52.160
You know, if you've been uh I I again I know people who are incredibly wealthy and incredibly miserable because they're doing jobs that they despise, that they make fun of in private, that they hate.
00:32:52.400 --> 00:32:56.160
But hey, you know, I gotta have my second home and I need my Maserati.
00:32:56.319 --> 00:32:59.680
And but you know, does the Maserati really make you happy?
00:32:59.920 --> 00:33:02.240
Does your second house make you happy?
00:33:02.400 --> 00:33:11.279
I could be happy uh living in Wrigley Field 81 days a year, you know, that that makes me happy.
00:33:11.440 --> 00:33:14.079
It doesn't matter how I take the train there.
00:33:14.400 --> 00:33:24.319
I think and again, it comes with you you have to be honest with yourself and and really dig in to find your purpose.
00:33:24.480 --> 00:33:31.039
And then as you age, your purpose can evolve and you can add other things into that mix.
00:33:31.279 --> 00:33:37.519
But until you stop the map, you know, stop the circus and go, what the you know, what who am I?
00:33:37.920 --> 00:33:39.440
What makes me happy?
00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:49.359
And then go chase that instead of chasing dates or money or things, because whatever you chase, that's what you're gonna catch.
00:33:50.400 --> 00:34:00.640
So I I think you should chase the things that have true value and and um it's also something that can't be monetized.
00:34:00.799 --> 00:34:03.440
No one's making money from me being happy every day.
00:34:03.599 --> 00:34:12.079
They would make money if I was on my phone all day or if I was buying Maserati, but just being happy, you don't doesn't have to be expensive.
00:34:12.400 --> 00:34:13.440
Yeah, you don't need much, right?
00:34:14.239 --> 00:34:14.639
No, you don't.
00:34:14.800 --> 00:34:18.239
You just have to you need a good life and friends.
00:34:18.400 --> 00:34:28.639
And again, once you find a job that aligns with the things that make you happy, you will be better at that job than the job that you hate.
00:34:28.880 --> 00:34:30.960
100% guaranteed.
00:34:31.119 --> 00:34:35.119
That there are studies, there's data, there's that there's no equivocation.
00:34:35.280 --> 00:34:37.519
That is a given.
00:34:37.760 --> 00:34:39.119
So you'll be more successful.
00:34:39.280 --> 00:34:43.519
In theory, you'll make more money because you'll be better at your job, and you'll be happy.
00:34:43.679 --> 00:34:52.000
It's the biggest win-win in business when companies spend money on uh wellness program and happiness programs.
00:34:52.480 --> 00:34:57.840
Productivity goes up, retention goes up, the happiness of the individual workers goes up.
00:34:58.000 --> 00:35:10.559
So even if you're a CEO that doesn't give a crap about the lives of your people, spending money to give them these ideas and these classes will make you more money, will make the company more money.
00:35:11.280 --> 00:35:20.400
Uh it it it's and it's I I it's starting to catch on and get more popular, but still it's a novel idea for a lot of people.
00:35:20.559 --> 00:35:21.840
And it sounds silly, right?
00:35:21.920 --> 00:35:27.519
It sounds, it sounds uh stupid and fluffy.
00:35:27.679 --> 00:35:29.119
Oh, yeah, just be happy.
00:35:29.519 --> 00:35:29.760
Okay.
00:35:30.719 --> 00:35:34.400
Yeah, I think the thing about that, Mark, and organizations, I totally agree with what you're saying.
00:35:34.480 --> 00:35:42.719
It's like companies can't put like they love black and white, they love transactions that they can put in their Excel sheets and say, this made me money, this didn't.
00:35:42.880 --> 00:35:47.039
When you say, oh, someone's happy or not, that doesn't equate to how many widgets they produced.
00:35:47.199 --> 00:35:48.719
But it does what you're saying.
00:35:48.880 --> 00:35:49.280
I agree with you.
00:35:50.000 --> 00:35:50.960
I agree with you.
00:35:51.440 --> 00:36:00.480
And all the data, all the data shows that the the ROI on wellness and happiness programs is from 300 to 500%.
00:36:01.199 --> 00:36:04.559
That's just in the company being more productive.
00:36:04.719 --> 00:36:15.679
That doesn't take into account um less sick days, lower health costs because people are happy and healthier, doesn't take into account uh higher retention, right?
00:36:15.760 --> 00:36:21.039
What does it cost to onboard to fire someone, to onboard and train a new person?
00:36:21.199 --> 00:36:27.039
And what do you lose when a guy that's been working at your company seven years says, I'm out of here, I'm fed up with this crap, and leaves?
00:36:27.119 --> 00:36:31.119
You have seven years of institutional knowledge that walks out the door with him.
00:36:31.360 --> 00:36:31.840
100%.
00:36:32.480 --> 00:36:42.480
If you can keep somebody happy and engaged for 20 years and reward them financially and otherwise, your company will be in better shape.
00:36:43.440 --> 00:36:44.320
Full stop.
00:36:44.400 --> 00:36:45.679
I mean, it just is.
00:36:45.920 --> 00:36:46.320
Yep.
00:36:46.480 --> 00:36:47.360
Totally agree.
00:36:47.519 --> 00:36:50.800
I mean, uh, you played have you played team sports in your life?
00:36:51.039 --> 00:36:53.199
Yeah, I played a lot of soccer growing up.
00:36:53.519 --> 00:36:53.840
Okay.
00:36:54.639 --> 00:37:03.599
Weren't your soccer teams better when you were friends and buddies with the guys on the team than if you were just playing pickup with a bunch of guys that you thought were jerks?
00:37:03.920 --> 00:37:04.239
100%.
00:37:04.559 --> 00:37:07.039
And we were on the same team, not competing against each other.
00:37:07.119 --> 00:37:07.679
So yeah.
00:37:08.000 --> 00:37:08.639
Exactly.
00:37:08.800 --> 00:37:09.119
Yep.
00:37:09.280 --> 00:37:09.760
Exactly.
00:37:09.920 --> 00:37:11.360
It's it's the difference.
00:37:11.519 --> 00:37:17.920
What I try and do when I go into a company is transform groups into true teams.
00:37:19.039 --> 00:37:19.599
Right?
00:37:20.079 --> 00:37:24.480
To use a baseball metaphor, sometimes you have to bunt.
00:37:24.639 --> 00:37:26.320
Now, I want to hit a home run.
00:37:26.400 --> 00:37:27.840
I don't want to bunt.
00:37:28.079 --> 00:37:34.880
But if me bunting gets the guy to second base and the guy behind me hits a single and we get a run and we win the game, I'm happy.
00:37:35.039 --> 00:37:44.400
And that mentality, that surrendering to the group, to the team, making those sacrifices builds camaraderie.
00:37:44.480 --> 00:37:45.840
It builds cohesion.
00:37:46.079 --> 00:38:02.559
And by helping them with improvisational communications and creativity, you build a really strong team that is going to be far more productive and valuable to the overall enterprise than just randomly throwing six people together and telling go do this product loan.
00:38:02.800 --> 00:38:03.760
No, I love that, Mark.
00:38:03.840 --> 00:38:05.920
So I feel like there's a lot of resistance though.
00:38:06.079 --> 00:38:10.079
And I love what you're saying with the team analogy, like bunting when you want to hit the home run.
00:38:10.320 --> 00:38:12.320
Some people don't want to do that.
00:38:12.480 --> 00:38:14.639
They want to be the one being the superstar.
00:38:14.880 --> 00:38:21.039
How do you navigate a particular teammate, a person like that in corporate or a company?
00:38:21.519 --> 00:38:22.960
That's another great question.
00:38:23.199 --> 00:38:36.400
When you're building a team, what I do is I go through a series of exercises, and as you're doing that improvisational stuff, you see more of the character of each person on your seven-person team, let's say.
00:38:36.559 --> 00:38:38.800
There are people that want to do everything and be in charge.
00:38:38.880 --> 00:38:40.559
There are people that don't want the spotlight.
00:38:40.719 --> 00:38:42.480
There are people that want to crunch the numbers.
00:38:42.639 --> 00:38:44.800
There are people that want to think outside the box.
00:38:44.960 --> 00:38:51.599
And a good team has a variety of skills inherent in the team, included in the team.
00:38:51.760 --> 00:39:04.880
When you get to a person who just has to be everything and has to take credit for everything, it's cancerous because I don't want, you know, why do I I'm going to come up with a great idea and you're going to take credit for it.
00:39:05.199 --> 00:39:27.760
Um, you have to confront that person and explain to them if your goal is solely self-enrichment, the best way you can do that is by being a good team member because your team will be more successful and you, along with your teammates, will increase in value to your company.
00:39:28.000 --> 00:39:30.159
So, Mark, I want you to get technical here with that.
00:39:30.320 --> 00:39:37.199
So, walk us through this person that's got an ego through the roof and they want to hit that home run, but they need to be a team player.
00:39:37.280 --> 00:39:39.440
How do you handle that sort of tension?
00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:43.280
Well, the first thing is you have to establish what the hierarchy is in the group.
00:39:43.440 --> 00:40:05.599
If that person is the CEO of it, if that person is at the top of the food chain, then I would I would explain to them that what you're doing by, and I would do this in a group setting with exercises that would reveal this toxic tendency that this person has.
00:40:06.159 --> 00:40:18.159
But I would explain to them that being that guy is off-putting to everybody, and you are disincentivizing people to chime in with good stuff.
00:40:18.719 --> 00:40:22.159
Um, you know, a lot of you've heard the term um we're thinking out of the box.
00:40:22.239 --> 00:40:25.360
We have to create a new widget or whatever it is.
00:40:25.679 --> 00:40:31.119
If you are truly trying to create something, by definition, it means it doesn't exist yet.
00:40:31.280 --> 00:40:35.039
So you can't just rehash something that already exists out in the marketplace.
00:40:35.199 --> 00:40:36.639
You have to create something new.
00:40:36.719 --> 00:40:38.800
And to do that, you have to think way out of the box.
00:40:38.960 --> 00:40:53.039
So you have to build a team where saying incredibly stupid shit is not frowned upon because so many accidents and so many brilliant ideas come from dumb ideas.
00:40:53.280 --> 00:40:56.400
What I'll do is I'll sit people down and I'll go, all right, what's your problem?
00:40:56.639 --> 00:41:01.760
You guys here at Company X, you're you're doing a product launch, and what's the roadblock you're hitting?
00:41:01.920 --> 00:41:03.679
Well, we can't design a marketing program.
00:41:03.840 --> 00:41:04.159
Okay.
00:41:04.400 --> 00:41:12.719
Uh, we're gonna go around the room a couple times, and each of me, each of you give me the dumbest solution you can think of, the absolute dumbest.
00:41:13.280 --> 00:41:16.800
And they'll start rattling off really stupid things.
00:41:16.960 --> 00:41:27.199
And after a while, we're able to cobble together a piece from this person, a piece from that person, and a piece from this person, and it becomes a viable way forward.
00:41:27.840 --> 00:41:29.679
You you have to work in the margin.
00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:35.039
You have to think in the margins if you're truly trying to create something new.
00:41:35.280 --> 00:41:45.360
So if every time you raise your hand and say something off the wall, and the man or the woman who's in charge goes, oh, shut up, Mark, that's stupid, you're not gonna talk as much.
00:41:45.440 --> 00:41:50.079
And you may down the line come up with a crazy idea that is actually valuable.
00:41:50.320 --> 00:42:01.599
But if you've taught me that every time I say something out of the box or in the margins, that you're gonna mock me and make me feel stupid and make me worried that I'm gonna get fired, I'm just gonna shut up.
00:42:01.840 --> 00:42:12.800
So if you've got a group with seven people and one guy wants to be the boss, and the other six people have been shamed and basically taught to shut up, the group's gonna fail.
00:42:12.960 --> 00:42:14.639
And it won't be a team.
00:42:14.960 --> 00:42:16.000
So, Mr.
00:42:16.159 --> 00:42:18.480
Boss person, you're gonna fail.
00:42:18.800 --> 00:42:28.960
I always uh another uh I was on Seinfeld, and what I clearly, Jerry Seinfeld is the least funny person on that show, right?
00:42:29.119 --> 00:42:30.559
Of the of the main characters.
00:42:30.880 --> 00:42:46.480
He is the genius, he and Larry are the geniuses that wrote it and constructed it, but they built a cast around him that were so weird and hilarious and off the wall that he's the he's the spoke of the wheel.
00:42:46.960 --> 00:42:56.079
And he was confident enough in his comedic sensibility and his vision for the show to give the other people the punchline.
00:42:56.559 --> 00:42:57.440
But you know what?
00:42:57.519 --> 00:43:02.400
It's called Seinfeld, and Seinfeld is sleeping on$500 million.
00:43:04.239 --> 00:43:11.840
He he knew, uh, and there are several excellent examples of that in sitcoms throughout history.
00:43:12.000 --> 00:43:16.480
The Dick Van Dyke show, written by Carl Reiner, one of the funniest people in the 20th century.
00:43:16.639 --> 00:43:17.679
Same thing.
00:43:18.000 --> 00:43:24.320
He comes up with an idea where the show's going to be about people that are professionally funny, comedy writers.
00:43:24.639 --> 00:43:28.320
So anything you think of that is funny, one of the characters can say it.
00:43:28.800 --> 00:43:35.199
That's different than coming up with a uh a shop where everyone isn't funny professionally, right?
00:43:35.360 --> 00:43:45.519
It's it's a it's a design that that leans towards success because you are empowering everyone on the team to be spectacular.
00:43:47.440 --> 00:43:49.760
Every at every entrance was spectacular.
00:43:50.000 --> 00:43:53.920
Julia's stuff was funny, Jason's stuff was funny, uh Newman.
00:43:54.159 --> 00:43:59.760
Everybody was given the space and the creation.
00:44:00.159 --> 00:44:02.320
Of freedom to be excellent.
00:44:02.639 --> 00:44:07.199
The week I was on Seinfeld, they were working on a scene and it something wasn't quite right.
00:44:07.280 --> 00:44:19.360
It wasn't really clicking, and um, the other actors are sitting there giving notes to each other, and the caterer walks up to Larry and goes, Hey, what if they did blah, blah, blah, blah, blah?
00:44:19.679 --> 00:44:21.920
And Larry goes, All right, let's try it.
00:44:22.159 --> 00:44:23.840
They tried it and it worked.
00:44:24.800 --> 00:44:29.840
Now, if Larry would have turned to him and said, Dude, just go make more guacamole.
00:44:30.000 --> 00:44:32.239
We're actors, we're the professionals here.
00:44:32.400 --> 00:44:33.519
We know what we're doing.
00:44:33.679 --> 00:44:35.920
Go back to your food table.
00:44:36.159 --> 00:44:40.320
You are shutting down a valuable avenue of creativity.
00:44:40.400 --> 00:44:42.320
The guy's been watching your show for five years.
00:44:42.480 --> 00:44:43.920
He knows the show.
00:44:44.159 --> 00:44:47.039
And if he has a good idea, take it.
00:44:47.360 --> 00:44:48.079
Use it.
00:44:48.400 --> 00:44:50.000
Doesn't cost you a dime.
00:44:51.039 --> 00:45:06.880
When we were doing Jimmy Neutron or when I was doing the animated movie that I did that I wrote and produced that's coming out later this year, Pinocchio and the Water of Life, we would record every scene as written, and then I would just tell everybody, all right, we're doing a crazy pass.
00:45:07.119 --> 00:45:08.880
Say and do whatever you want.
00:45:09.360 --> 00:45:22.800
And because I had hired, in my opinion, the funniest improvising cartoon voices in the English language, Fred Tatashour and Rob Paulson and Mo Lamarch and Megan Kavanaugh.
00:45:23.360 --> 00:45:26.000
They do all the cartoons that you love, Phil Lamar.
00:45:27.360 --> 00:45:29.440
It was free genius, right?
00:45:29.599 --> 00:45:31.840
They knew their characters, they knew the scene.
00:45:32.000 --> 00:45:33.920
We already had a version that would work.
00:45:34.159 --> 00:45:34.960
Now go ahead.
00:45:35.119 --> 00:45:36.559
You have a great idea.
00:45:36.719 --> 00:45:37.199
Say it.
00:45:37.360 --> 00:45:38.159
Let me hear it.
00:45:38.320 --> 00:45:45.840
And you know, 15 to 20% of the movie is improvised material from these geniuses because why not?
00:45:46.559 --> 00:45:53.199
You know, we were a team, and everyone understood that if they said something really stupid, we would just cut it out.
00:45:53.360 --> 00:45:54.719
There's no downside.
00:45:54.880 --> 00:46:02.000
There's a whole scene between me and the bad guy in the movie that we improvised, literally walking out of the room going to lunch.
00:46:02.079 --> 00:46:04.320
And it was hilarious, so we used it.
00:46:04.719 --> 00:46:09.519
So, Mark, walk us through how you step into this vulnerability, right?
00:46:09.920 --> 00:46:16.400
We talked about how, you know, getting in the nuts, you know, on a YouTube video is going to make us famous, but we don't really want that.
00:46:16.559 --> 00:46:21.360
You're kind of differentiating here this sort of other sense of vulnerability.
00:46:21.519 --> 00:46:25.760
Walk us through how we can step into that and really utilize that to our potential.
00:46:26.239 --> 00:46:33.679
I think the key to being vulnerable goes back to what we've touched on several times, finding your purpose.
00:46:34.000 --> 00:46:36.639
I know what my purpose is.
00:46:38.079 --> 00:46:43.199
I know what I'm good at and what I put on earth to do, for lack of a better term.
00:46:43.360 --> 00:46:44.320
So that's what I do.
00:46:44.480 --> 00:46:47.519
And if you think that's stupid or silly or whatever, okay.
00:46:47.760 --> 00:46:48.800
I don't care.
00:46:48.960 --> 00:46:51.440
It doesn't, you know, bother me.
00:46:51.599 --> 00:46:54.639
I have a couple of old Italian aunts in Chicago.
00:46:54.960 --> 00:46:58.320
And my Aunt Rose the other day says, you know what?
00:46:58.400 --> 00:47:01.360
I'm old enough, or I don't care what anybody thinks anymore.
00:47:01.599 --> 00:47:09.920
And if you notice, old people will say stuff that more circumspect younger people typically won't because they just don't care.
00:47:10.320 --> 00:47:11.599
There's no way to hurt them.
00:47:11.840 --> 00:47:21.679
So if you know who you are and you know what makes you happy, and you know what makes you not happy, you can follow that drumbeat.
00:47:21.840 --> 00:47:28.719
And if people don't like it or think you're silly or stupid for it, okay, that doesn't affect me.
00:47:29.280 --> 00:47:29.679
Right?
00:47:29.840 --> 00:47:37.199
If if someone is listening to that podcast, this podcast, and thinks my answers are dumb, okay, they're dumb for them.
00:47:37.599 --> 00:47:38.559
It works for me.
00:47:39.039 --> 00:47:48.719
And and I would suggest again, fear is always and only self-defeating, self-sabotage.
00:47:48.960 --> 00:47:54.960
If you are not able to be vulnerable, it's because you are afraid of what you will discover.
00:47:55.119 --> 00:48:01.519
And you have to understand that there's nothing that you could discover about yourself that you should be fearful about.
00:48:02.000 --> 00:48:04.480
You are who you are, and we're all different.
00:48:04.719 --> 00:48:05.519
Thank God.
00:48:05.679 --> 00:48:06.000
Yeah.
00:48:06.159 --> 00:48:12.239
You know, so you just have to, but that's the hard part, figuring out who you are and what what makes you tick.
00:48:12.400 --> 00:48:25.599
And once you once you get a really good bite on that, you know, I I I've had this weird career where I do a lot of different things, and I was thinking, what is it, what's the one thing that's common to all the things that I do?
00:48:25.760 --> 00:48:28.960
And it's storytelling in different forms, right?
00:48:29.280 --> 00:48:35.679
Um uh I went and saw Bruce Springsteen Tuesday night here in Los Angeles, who put on a spectacular show.
00:48:36.000 --> 00:48:36.719
He was amazing.
00:48:36.880 --> 00:48:39.599
The guy's 76, and he he killed it.
00:48:40.079 --> 00:48:44.480
And he was talking about getting politically involved and making sure your vote counts.
00:48:44.559 --> 00:48:47.119
And he goes, You go out and you do what you do.
00:48:47.280 --> 00:48:49.280
All I do is sing songs.
00:48:49.679 --> 00:48:50.960
You go do what you do.
00:48:51.119 --> 00:48:57.920
Now, you know, he had 20,000 people that showed up and paid hundreds of dollars to watch him sing his song because he's so good at it.
00:48:58.079 --> 00:49:03.760
But he knows his lane, he knows what he's good at, and he's been doing it for 50 years.
00:49:04.320 --> 00:49:08.480
And that kind of clarity is difficult to come by.
00:49:08.880 --> 00:49:16.159
But once you have it, it's the key to vulnerability, it's the key to happiness, it's the key to success, it's the key to everything.
00:49:16.239 --> 00:49:26.800
And I think a reason a lot of people have difficulty getting there is because you have to be honest with yourself and, you know, look yourself in the mirror and go, man, you're a fat bastard.
00:49:26.880 --> 00:49:32.159
You you're 14 years old, you need to lose 80 pounds, and then go out and do it.
00:49:32.320 --> 00:49:43.119
So it's not necessarily easy, but I just don't see I don't see any viable alternatives to living your life because as we've discussed, we're all going to be dead by 2100.
00:49:43.360 --> 00:49:45.519
So be happy while you're alive.
00:49:45.840 --> 00:49:48.320
So this is the work sucks, but I like it podcast.
00:49:48.480 --> 00:49:53.119
What is one thing that sucks about your work, and what are you doing to make it not suck?
00:49:53.679 --> 00:49:55.360
I don't like chasing work.
00:49:55.519 --> 00:50:10.400
I don't like auditioning or sending out PRP or uh pitching myself for corporate work or for animated work, or I I don't like I like doing the work.
00:50:10.559 --> 00:50:15.599
I don't like all the rings you have to jump through to get the work.
00:50:15.920 --> 00:50:19.760
But unfortunately, that's the way entertainment is.
00:50:20.000 --> 00:50:21.599
So I've made my peace with that.
00:50:21.760 --> 00:50:26.000
The good part of it is if you're out of work for a week, you have a week off.
00:50:26.239 --> 00:50:30.719
So you can enjoy that time instead of sitting home and worrying about your next job.
00:50:30.960 --> 00:50:34.960
You you have to, uh and I made my peace with that a long time ago.
00:50:35.119 --> 00:50:41.920
You know, no one, you don't work 52 weeks a year, even if you're the most successful person in show business.
00:50:42.000 --> 00:50:49.199
There are times in between the jobs and you have to deal with that uncertainty and that fear of how am I gonna pay my mortgage and all that stuff.
00:50:49.280 --> 00:50:52.800
And the way the way I deal with it is, you know what?
00:50:52.880 --> 00:50:55.840
I'm good at what I do in my little lane here.
00:50:56.000 --> 00:51:01.039
I'm just gonna keep doing that, and people who need that will find me.
00:51:01.599 --> 00:51:07.760
So you can't, I don't think, negate the sucky part of all work.
00:51:08.000 --> 00:51:14.559
You can minimize it and you can contextualize it so it doesn't bother you.
00:51:14.960 --> 00:51:16.719
At least that that's what I try and do.
00:51:16.800 --> 00:51:17.840
And it doesn't always work.
00:51:18.239 --> 00:51:32.719
But you you try and go, well, you know, if I want to have three weeks off to go to New Orleans and goof around for three weeks, I have the lifestyle that allows me to do that because of all the other, you know, not so fun stuff.
00:51:32.880 --> 00:51:33.920
So it's a package.
00:51:34.320 --> 00:51:45.760
But uh again, it it I sound like a broken record, and I know I sound like a simpleton, and it sounds like a panacea, and it sounds like BS, but it's truly true.
00:51:46.159 --> 00:51:55.519
If you know your purpose, if you have discovered your purpose and you orient your life around happiness, stuff works out.
00:51:55.760 --> 00:51:56.719
It just does.
00:51:57.280 --> 00:52:04.159
And you have to you have to have faith in that process, which is a term people throw around, but it's true, you know.
00:52:04.400 --> 00:52:06.239
Baseball players go into slumps.
00:52:06.400 --> 00:52:08.719
Does that mean that Aaron Judge sucks?
00:52:09.119 --> 00:52:12.719
No, he's gonna hit 12 home runs, you know, in the next week.
00:52:12.880 --> 00:52:23.679
He's just in a down cycle right now, and you have to be able to, you know, ride the wave with some sort of equanimity so that you don't get too high or too low.
00:52:24.000 --> 00:52:26.400
Well, Mark, it's a pleasure having you on the show today.
00:52:26.480 --> 00:52:34.719
If listeners want to check out your upcoming shows that you kind of hinted at towards us, or check out, you know, your previous work, where's a good place for them to land?
00:52:35.119 --> 00:52:39.119
Um, my uh speaker site is markdecarlo speaker.com.
00:52:39.280 --> 00:52:42.239
If uh you're in the corporate world, that's the place to get a hold of me.
00:52:42.320 --> 00:52:51.760
Uh, I'm also on LinkedIn, and um MarkDacarlo.com is where all my entertainment stuff is, my upcoming cartoons and uh comedy stuff.
00:52:51.920 --> 00:52:53.440
It's all all there.
00:52:53.599 --> 00:52:58.800
I don't really go on X uh anymore, and I'm not really on Facebook.
00:52:58.880 --> 00:53:03.519
Uh we also have a travel show that we do on Instagram, MarkDacarlo TV on Instagram.
00:53:03.679 --> 00:53:05.599
Uh, we've done some cool stuff there.
00:53:05.840 --> 00:53:06.159
Awesome.
00:53:06.559 --> 00:53:08.159
Or just come to my house.
00:53:08.639 --> 00:53:09.280
I love that.
00:53:09.360 --> 00:53:10.159
It's sunny over there.
00:53:10.559 --> 00:53:12.159
The loudest house in La California.
00:53:12.960 --> 00:53:13.840
Yeah, exactly.
00:53:14.079 --> 00:53:14.719
I love it.
00:53:14.880 --> 00:53:16.639
Well, Mark, it's been a pleasure having it in the show.
00:53:16.719 --> 00:53:17.440
Thank you so much.
00:53:17.760 --> 00:53:18.639
Tony, thank you.
00:53:18.800 --> 00:53:21.840
You you you uh really made this an interesting conversation.
00:53:21.920 --> 00:53:23.360
You asked a lot of really great questions.
00:53:23.440 --> 00:53:24.159
It was a pleasure.
00:53:24.239 --> 00:53:25.199
Thank you for having me on.
00:53:25.280 --> 00:53:25.920
I appreciate it.
00:53:26.159 --> 00:53:27.199
Awesome, thank you.
00:53:27.519 --> 00:53:29.280
Purpose isn't a fixed destination.
00:53:29.360 --> 00:53:32.079
It moves, it grows, and it can change as we do.
00:53:32.239 --> 00:53:33.199
And that's the point.
00:53:33.360 --> 00:53:38.159
Today's conversation reminds us that fulfillment isn't always about hitting the home run.
00:53:38.320 --> 00:53:40.800
Sometimes it's about bunting when the team needs it.
00:53:40.960 --> 00:53:48.000
Sometimes it's about creating space for other people to shine, like in the example of allowing the team to add wild ideas to the project.
00:53:48.239 --> 00:53:52.320
Sometimes it's simply about showing up and doing the work, even the stucky parts.
00:53:52.639 --> 00:53:55.199
Success isn't a matter of good luck, it's good skills.
00:53:55.519 --> 00:53:59.599
Today the skill is to write down the 10 things as Mark indicates that make you happy.
00:53:59.840 --> 00:54:00.719
Bear in mind.
00:54:00.960 --> 00:54:05.760
One, happy and healthy, being a vegan and practicing yoga in a great community.
00:54:06.000 --> 00:54:08.000
Two, my relationship with Emily.
00:54:08.239 --> 00:54:11.519
Three, working on my 14th class and my PhD program.
00:54:11.920 --> 00:54:15.599
Four, finishing my third book to publish this year in 2026.
00:54:15.920 --> 00:54:19.760
Five, my cat that continues to sit on me when I record and edit these podcasts.
00:54:19.840 --> 00:54:21.280
Truth, she's on me now.
00:54:21.519 --> 00:54:24.000
Six, this podcast show makes me happy.
00:54:24.159 --> 00:54:24.719
It really does.
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And thank you for the guests and you listeners out there.
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Seven, my JLB at Alchemit, it makes me happy being a quality manager in the aerospace industry.
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Eight, my work in therapy makes me happy as well.
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I'm learning about myself, how to communicate when I'm frustrated with the world.
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Number nine, being a yoga teacher.
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And number 10, texting my family my top three things that value every day.
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What are your 10 things?
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Write them down, share them.
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This is the Work Stux by Legged Podcast.
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Thanks for listening.