WEBVTT
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.540
there is a very good chance that somebody ruined
00:00:04.540 --> 00:00:07.759
your afternoon this week. Maybe it was an email.
00:00:08.699 --> 00:00:12.199
Maybe it was a student who knew exactly, and
00:00:12.199 --> 00:00:17.320
I mean exactly, which button to push. Maybe it
00:00:17.320 --> 00:00:19.420
was a comment from an administrator delivered
00:00:19.420 --> 00:00:23.100
with just enough edge that you were still thinking
00:00:23.100 --> 00:00:26.660
about it on the drive home. That person who sent
00:00:26.660 --> 00:00:29.339
the email? Now, they're not even thinking about
00:00:29.339 --> 00:00:32.159
you right now. The student who pushed back in
00:00:32.159 --> 00:00:35.579
third period, they have moved on. And the administrator,
00:00:35.840 --> 00:00:40.140
they have had 14 other conversations since yours.
00:00:40.700 --> 00:00:43.479
But you're the only one that seems to still be
00:00:43.479 --> 00:00:58.679
carrying it. Welcome to the Y at a 5 podcast.
00:00:59.020 --> 00:01:01.219
Coming to you from the Northwoods of Wisconsin,
00:01:01.579 --> 00:01:04.840
I'm your host Jeremy Jorgensen, and this is your
00:01:04.840 --> 00:01:07.819
destination for becoming a happier, healthier,
00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:11.560
and stronger educator. Whether you're joining
00:01:11.560 --> 00:01:14.280
us during your morning commute, afternoon planning
00:01:14.280 --> 00:01:17.739
period, or even winding down, you're in the right
00:01:17.739 --> 00:01:21.239
place. Get ready to explore practical strategies,
00:01:21.359 --> 00:01:24.739
inspiring stories, and evidence -based approaches
00:01:25.420 --> 00:01:28.219
to enhance your teaching journey. Let's grow
00:01:28.219 --> 00:01:34.040
together. So after 26 years in the classroom,
00:01:34.359 --> 00:01:38.819
I know this feeling all too well. Something happens
00:01:38.819 --> 00:01:42.000
and something that, if I'm being honest, probably
00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:44.659
didn't warrant the amount of mental energy I
00:01:44.659 --> 00:01:48.400
gave it. And it follows me into my car, into
00:01:48.400 --> 00:01:52.150
my house, into the next day sometimes. I recently
00:01:52.150 --> 00:01:55.650
read a book called The Art of Living by Epictetus,
00:01:55.769 --> 00:01:58.230
and he said something that I want to start with
00:01:58.230 --> 00:02:00.870
today, something that is either going to land
00:02:00.870 --> 00:02:03.930
for you or is going to make you want to immediately
00:02:03.930 --> 00:02:10.770
turn this podcast off. He said, remember, it
00:02:10.770 --> 00:02:14.889
is not enough to be hit or insulted to be harmed.
00:02:15.189 --> 00:02:18.639
You must believe that you are being harmed. If
00:02:18.639 --> 00:02:22.879
someone succeeds in provoking you, realize that
00:02:22.879 --> 00:02:27.219
your mind is complicit in the provocation. Your
00:02:27.219 --> 00:02:33.280
mind is complicit. Not theirs, yours. So this
00:02:33.280 --> 00:02:38.000
is episode one of four. For the next four episodes,
00:02:38.360 --> 00:02:42.460
this podcast is going to explore Epictetus and
00:02:42.460 --> 00:02:45.360
the art of living. We'll have four quotes, four
00:02:45.360 --> 00:02:48.729
ideas. and one arc that I think is going to be
00:02:48.729 --> 00:02:52.270
worth your time. So welcome back to the Why Edify
00:02:52.270 --> 00:02:57.189
podcast. I'm Jeremy Jorgensen coming to you from
00:02:57.189 --> 00:03:02.990
above my garage. Let's get into it. But first,
00:03:03.150 --> 00:03:07.250
take a moment right now, share this podcast with
00:03:07.250 --> 00:03:10.830
someone else, like it, maybe leave a comment.
00:03:11.370 --> 00:03:14.289
and help give this podcast a little bit of momentum.
00:03:14.490 --> 00:03:17.409
It's getting kind of exciting. I've got a few
00:03:17.409 --> 00:03:21.370
folks that are starting to leave comments and
00:03:21.370 --> 00:03:24.250
even some folks telling me that something that
00:03:24.250 --> 00:03:27.090
I've shared has been helpful for them. Hopefully
00:03:27.090 --> 00:03:29.710
it has been helpful for you. Thanks for anything
00:03:29.710 --> 00:03:33.129
you could do to give our podcast a little boost.
00:03:33.830 --> 00:03:38.669
So back to it. Who was Epictetus? So before we
00:03:38.669 --> 00:03:40.509
go anywhere with that quote, a little bit of
00:03:40.509 --> 00:03:43.669
context because it changes a little bit about
00:03:43.669 --> 00:03:47.830
how the quote lands. Epictetus was a Stoic philosopher
00:03:47.830 --> 00:03:51.030
who lived in the first and second century. He
00:03:51.030 --> 00:03:54.289
was a slave, born into slavery, and for much
00:03:54.289 --> 00:03:57.129
of his life he had almost no control over what
00:03:57.129 --> 00:04:00.789
happened to him externally. None. And out of
00:04:00.789 --> 00:04:03.750
that reality, out of having almost no power over
00:04:03.750 --> 00:04:06.689
his circumstances, he developed a philosophy
00:04:07.319 --> 00:04:10.240
entirely focused on what a person can control,
00:04:10.419 --> 00:04:14.139
which in his view came down to one thing, the
00:04:14.139 --> 00:04:17.339
mind, how you interpret what happens to you,
00:04:17.399 --> 00:04:21.620
what you choose to give your assent to. He did
00:04:21.620 --> 00:04:24.740
not write any of this down himself, by the way,
00:04:24.740 --> 00:04:28.379
his students did. But what did survive is a little
00:04:28.379 --> 00:04:31.720
bit blunt and direct and sometimes a little jarring,
00:04:31.800 --> 00:04:35.579
which is honestly one of the reasons that I find
00:04:35.579 --> 00:04:38.329
it so useful. rather than just interesting. Teaching
00:04:38.329 --> 00:04:41.389
is a profession structurally designed to make
00:04:41.389 --> 00:04:45.129
you feel like you have very little control. Class
00:04:45.129 --> 00:04:49.149
sizes, curriculum, home lives of your students
00:04:49.149 --> 00:04:52.269
that come through your door every morning, your
00:04:52.269 --> 00:04:56.110
administration, the parking situation, which
00:04:56.110 --> 00:04:58.509
I don't know about at your school, but sometimes
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that can breed its own category of chaos. But
00:05:02.870 --> 00:05:06.810
you don't control most of it. But you do control
00:05:06.810 --> 00:05:10.769
what you do with what hits you. That's actually
00:05:10.769 --> 00:05:13.550
where a lot of the energy is. And it's the part
00:05:13.550 --> 00:05:16.610
most professional development completely ignores.
00:05:17.009 --> 00:05:20.110
Epictetus called it the discipline of ascent.
00:05:20.449 --> 00:05:22.970
I want to call it something a little bit simpler,
00:05:23.069 --> 00:05:25.709
so we're just going to call it the gap. That's
00:05:25.709 --> 00:05:28.689
the space between what happens to you and what
00:05:28.689 --> 00:05:32.470
you do next. So a parent sends a hostile email
00:05:32.470 --> 00:05:37.420
at 9 p .m. There's the email. Can't control that.
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The email has landed. And then there's what you
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do with it. Are you going to fire back immediately?
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Are you going to close the laptop and come back
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to it tomorrow? Whether you spend the next four
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hours composing a response in your head while
00:05:53.899 --> 00:05:57.000
you're supposed to be sleeping, that's the gap.
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That's the space. And it belongs to you entirely.
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Nobody else gets there unless you let them. You
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want to be careful here because I don't want
00:06:07.139 --> 00:06:10.879
this to sound like it is toxic positivity. Epictetus
00:06:10.879 --> 00:06:14.019
is not saying that this email was not real. He's
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not saying the student's behavior didn't happen.
00:06:16.540 --> 00:06:19.819
And he's not saying that the frustration isn't
00:06:19.819 --> 00:06:23.120
legitimate. But what he's saying is that the
00:06:23.120 --> 00:06:26.040
harm, the thing that actually costs you energy
00:06:26.040 --> 00:06:30.620
and sleep and peace, that does require your participation.
00:06:31.480 --> 00:06:34.300
You have to keep it going after the initial trigger.
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And once you see that, you have a choice you
00:06:37.779 --> 00:06:40.160
didn't know you had. So here's a little bit of
00:06:40.160 --> 00:06:42.920
the neuroscience, which I think is fascinating.
00:06:43.279 --> 00:06:45.779
And this is where it gets interesting from a
00:06:45.779 --> 00:06:49.300
completely different angle. Neuroanatomist Jill
00:06:49.300 --> 00:06:52.480
Bolte -Taylor did research on the physiological
00:06:52.480 --> 00:06:55.779
stress response. When something triggers you,
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The email, the eye roll, the comment, the actual
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physiological response in your body lasts approximately
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90 seconds. 90. After that, the chemical response
00:07:09.029 --> 00:07:12.750
is moved through your system. After 90 seconds,
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if you're still feeling it, you're the one that's
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keeping it going. Not consciously, not on purpose,
00:07:18.949 --> 00:07:22.230
but you are the mechanism at that point, not
00:07:22.230 --> 00:07:26.079
the trigger. I find that a little both unsettling
00:07:26.079 --> 00:07:28.180
and useful, especially the first time I read
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it. Unsettling because it means I have to take
00:07:30.819 --> 00:07:34.779
some responsibility for how long difficult things
00:07:34.779 --> 00:07:38.060
stay with me. I'm also useful because there's
00:07:38.060 --> 00:07:41.639
a window, a short one, but a real one where I
00:07:41.639 --> 00:07:45.519
can choose differently. 90 seconds is all you
00:07:45.519 --> 00:07:48.360
need to get into the gap. So what can this actually
00:07:48.360 --> 00:07:51.379
look like? So here are five things that I've
00:07:51.379 --> 00:07:54.560
either tried or am in the process of trying that
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create the gap in actual school day situations.
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Not theory, just something to practice. When
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a difficult email lands, I try to close it. I
00:08:05.480 --> 00:08:08.379
don't respond and I come back to it in 10 minutes
00:08:08.379 --> 00:08:12.459
or after lunch or often the next morning. The
00:08:12.459 --> 00:08:16.180
email hasn't changed, but I have. That one sounds
00:08:16.180 --> 00:08:19.829
simple and it is harder than it sounds. especially
00:08:19.829 --> 00:08:22.029
if you're the kind of person who needs to address
00:08:22.029 --> 00:08:25.850
things immediately. And I often am that person.
00:08:25.949 --> 00:08:28.370
Just want to get it over with, get it done, get
00:08:28.370 --> 00:08:31.829
it solved. Before a tense meeting or a difficult
00:08:31.829 --> 00:08:35.690
parent call, try to ask one question. What do
00:08:35.690 --> 00:08:38.809
I actually need from this exchange? Not what
00:08:38.809 --> 00:08:42.210
do I want to say? Not how do I defend myself?
00:08:42.730 --> 00:08:46.370
What do I need? And it changes how I walk in
00:08:46.370 --> 00:08:49.860
the situation. Or those times when a student
00:08:49.860 --> 00:08:53.779
pushes back hard, publicly, in front of everyone,
00:08:53.940 --> 00:08:57.480
in a way that just gets on every single nerve
00:08:57.480 --> 00:09:00.740
that you have. Just take two full seconds before
00:09:00.740 --> 00:09:04.320
you respond. Count them out in your head. I know
00:09:04.320 --> 00:09:07.340
what two seconds could feel like forever. The
00:09:07.340 --> 00:09:09.919
student thinks you're in control, and in those
00:09:09.919 --> 00:09:13.019
two seconds, you might actually get there. Before
00:09:13.019 --> 00:09:16.600
I open my work email after school, Before I let
00:09:16.600 --> 00:09:20.320
that day back in, one question, is this worth
00:09:20.320 --> 00:09:24.240
my piece tonight? Sometimes yes, most often than
00:09:24.240 --> 00:09:27.759
not, the answer is no. Naming it helps me put
00:09:27.759 --> 00:09:30.500
things down that I otherwise carry right into
00:09:30.500 --> 00:09:35.019
dinner. And finally, the last one. And this one
00:09:35.019 --> 00:09:37.179
is kind of the strangest, but it might be the
00:09:37.179 --> 00:09:40.340
most useful. When you catch yourself replaying
00:09:40.340 --> 00:09:43.759
something, running the tape back, refighting
00:09:43.759 --> 00:09:46.259
the conversation in your head, imagining what
00:09:46.259 --> 00:09:49.659
you should have said, just say it out loud, actually
00:09:49.659 --> 00:09:52.960
out loud, even just to yourself if it's in the
00:09:52.960 --> 00:09:56.259
car, telling yourself, I'm actually choosing
00:09:56.259 --> 00:10:00.120
to stay in this. Then decide if you really want
00:10:00.120 --> 00:10:04.100
to. Making a conscious choice rather than something
00:10:04.100 --> 00:10:06.600
that's just happening to you, it does change
00:10:06.600 --> 00:10:11.580
the quality of it completely. So this short episode
00:10:11.580 --> 00:10:15.320
today is the foundational episode, all about
00:10:15.320 --> 00:10:19.419
the gap and your response to what hits you. And
00:10:19.419 --> 00:10:22.879
in our next installment, we'll go a little bit
00:10:22.879 --> 00:10:25.460
deeper, a level deeper, and we'll talk about
00:10:25.460 --> 00:10:28.100
what you're giving your attention to before any
00:10:28.100 --> 00:10:31.840
provocation even arrives. Epictetus has a line
00:10:31.840 --> 00:10:35.179
that is deceptively simple. You become what you
00:10:35.179 --> 00:10:38.049
give your attention to. Now, we're spending a
00:10:38.049 --> 00:10:40.149
whole episode there, and I think it's going to
00:10:40.149 --> 00:10:43.690
be one that surprises people the most. And then
00:10:43.690 --> 00:10:46.389
week three is probably going to be the toughest
00:10:46.389 --> 00:10:49.669
one, and that's where you're sourcing your professional
00:10:49.669 --> 00:10:52.769
worth and why so many teachers are exhausted
00:10:52.769 --> 00:10:56.289
by an approval loop that the profession itself
00:10:56.289 --> 00:11:00.730
built into them. And then our fourth and final
00:11:00.730 --> 00:11:03.649
installment, we will turn back outward again.
00:11:04.220 --> 00:11:06.960
Because all of this work inside doesn't just
00:11:06.960 --> 00:11:10.059
benefit you. It changes the rooms that you're
00:11:10.059 --> 00:11:12.539
in. It changes what your students experience
00:11:12.539 --> 00:11:15.659
without you ever announcing it. So we got there
00:11:15.659 --> 00:11:19.080
four weeks. There's just one arc and all of it
00:11:19.080 --> 00:11:24.600
is built from within. Now, if any of this resonates
00:11:24.600 --> 00:11:28.879
with you, the newsletter version connected to
00:11:28.879 --> 00:11:32.500
this podcast went out recently and in it has.
00:11:33.230 --> 00:11:35.730
some resources you can look at. There's a book
00:11:35.730 --> 00:11:38.929
recommendation and a few more specific practices.
00:11:39.529 --> 00:11:43.049
You can find that at jeremyajorgensen .com, my
00:11:43.049 --> 00:11:46.509
website, or just search for Why Edify. And if
00:11:46.509 --> 00:11:49.710
you want to go deeper and have some actual conversations
00:11:49.710 --> 00:11:52.990
with other teachers that are exploring the same
00:11:52.990 --> 00:11:56.190
idea, the Strong Teachers Lounge, we're running
00:11:56.190 --> 00:11:59.450
a companion series called Built From Within,
00:11:59.610 --> 00:12:02.789
and it's alongside these four episodes. Every
00:12:02.789 --> 00:12:06.370
week there's a discussion prompt, a grade differentiated
00:12:06.370 --> 00:12:09.710
implementation guide, and you can find a link
00:12:09.710 --> 00:12:12.750
to get to that in the show notes or just search
00:12:12.750 --> 00:12:15.889
for the Strong Teachers Lounge. So be on the
00:12:15.889 --> 00:12:19.230
lookout for our second installment. And until
00:12:19.230 --> 00:12:21.129
then, stay strong.
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.540
there is a very good chance that somebody ruined
00:00:04.540 --> 00:00:07.759
your afternoon this week. Maybe it was an email.
00:00:08.699 --> 00:00:12.199
Maybe it was a student who knew exactly, and
00:00:12.199 --> 00:00:17.320
I mean exactly, which button to push. Maybe it
00:00:17.320 --> 00:00:19.420
was a comment from an administrator delivered
00:00:19.420 --> 00:00:23.100
with just enough edge that you were still thinking
00:00:23.100 --> 00:00:26.660
about it on the drive home. That person who sent
00:00:26.660 --> 00:00:29.339
the email? Now, they're not even thinking about
00:00:29.339 --> 00:00:32.159
you right now. The student who pushed back in
00:00:32.159 --> 00:00:35.579
third period, they have moved on. And the administrator,
00:00:35.840 --> 00:00:40.140
they have had 14 other conversations since yours.
00:00:40.700 --> 00:00:43.479
But you're the only one that seems to still be
00:00:43.479 --> 00:00:58.679
carrying it. Welcome to the Y at a 5 podcast.
00:00:59.020 --> 00:01:01.219
Coming to you from the Northwoods of Wisconsin,
00:01:01.579 --> 00:01:04.840
I'm your host Jeremy Jorgensen, and this is your
00:01:04.840 --> 00:01:07.819
destination for becoming a happier, healthier,
00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:11.560
and stronger educator. Whether you're joining
00:01:11.560 --> 00:01:14.280
us during your morning commute, afternoon planning
00:01:14.280 --> 00:01:17.739
period, or even winding down, you're in the right
00:01:17.739 --> 00:01:21.239
place. Get ready to explore practical strategies,
00:01:21.359 --> 00:01:24.739
inspiring stories, and evidence -based approaches
00:01:25.420 --> 00:01:28.219
to enhance your teaching journey. Let's grow
00:01:28.219 --> 00:01:34.040
together. So after 26 years in the classroom,
00:01:34.359 --> 00:01:38.819
I know this feeling all too well. Something happens
00:01:38.819 --> 00:01:42.000
and something that, if I'm being honest, probably
00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:44.659
didn't warrant the amount of mental energy I
00:01:44.659 --> 00:01:48.400
gave it. And it follows me into my car, into
00:01:48.400 --> 00:01:52.150
my house, into the next day sometimes. I recently
00:01:52.150 --> 00:01:55.650
read a book called The Art of Living by Epictetus,
00:01:55.769 --> 00:01:58.230
and he said something that I want to start with
00:01:58.230 --> 00:02:00.870
today, something that is either going to land
00:02:00.870 --> 00:02:03.930
for you or is going to make you want to immediately
00:02:03.930 --> 00:02:10.770
turn this podcast off. He said, remember, it
00:02:10.770 --> 00:02:14.889
is not enough to be hit or insulted to be harmed.
00:02:15.189 --> 00:02:18.639
You must believe that you are being harmed. If
00:02:18.639 --> 00:02:22.879
someone succeeds in provoking you, realize that
00:02:22.879 --> 00:02:27.219
your mind is complicit in the provocation. Your
00:02:27.219 --> 00:02:33.280
mind is complicit. Not theirs, yours. So this
00:02:33.280 --> 00:02:38.000
is episode one of four. For the next four episodes,
00:02:38.360 --> 00:02:42.460
this podcast is going to explore Epictetus and
00:02:42.460 --> 00:02:45.360
the art of living. We'll have four quotes, four
00:02:45.360 --> 00:02:48.729
ideas. and one arc that I think is going to be
00:02:48.729 --> 00:02:52.270
worth your time. So welcome back to the Why Edify
00:02:52.270 --> 00:02:57.189
podcast. I'm Jeremy Jorgensen coming to you from
00:02:57.189 --> 00:03:02.990
above my garage. Let's get into it. But first,
00:03:03.150 --> 00:03:07.250
take a moment right now, share this podcast with
00:03:07.250 --> 00:03:10.830
someone else, like it, maybe leave a comment.
00:03:11.370 --> 00:03:14.289
and help give this podcast a little bit of momentum.
00:03:14.490 --> 00:03:17.409
It's getting kind of exciting. I've got a few
00:03:17.409 --> 00:03:21.370
folks that are starting to leave comments and
00:03:21.370 --> 00:03:24.250
even some folks telling me that something that
00:03:24.250 --> 00:03:27.090
I've shared has been helpful for them. Hopefully
00:03:27.090 --> 00:03:29.710
it has been helpful for you. Thanks for anything
00:03:29.710 --> 00:03:33.129
you could do to give our podcast a little boost.
00:03:33.830 --> 00:03:38.669
So back to it. Who was Epictetus? So before we
00:03:38.669 --> 00:03:40.509
go anywhere with that quote, a little bit of
00:03:40.509 --> 00:03:43.669
context because it changes a little bit about
00:03:43.669 --> 00:03:47.830
how the quote lands. Epictetus was a Stoic philosopher
00:03:47.830 --> 00:03:51.030
who lived in the first and second century. He
00:03:51.030 --> 00:03:54.289
was a slave, born into slavery, and for much
00:03:54.289 --> 00:03:57.129
of his life he had almost no control over what
00:03:57.129 --> 00:04:00.789
happened to him externally. None. And out of
00:04:00.789 --> 00:04:03.750
that reality, out of having almost no power over
00:04:03.750 --> 00:04:06.689
his circumstances, he developed a philosophy
00:04:07.319 --> 00:04:10.240
entirely focused on what a person can control,
00:04:10.419 --> 00:04:14.139
which in his view came down to one thing, the
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mind, how you interpret what happens to you,
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what you choose to give your assent to. He did
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not write any of this down himself, by the way,
00:04:24.740 --> 00:04:28.379
his students did. But what did survive is a little
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bit blunt and direct and sometimes a little jarring,
00:04:31.800 --> 00:04:35.579
which is honestly one of the reasons that I find
00:04:35.579 --> 00:04:38.329
it so useful. rather than just interesting. Teaching
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is a profession structurally designed to make
00:04:41.389 --> 00:04:45.129
you feel like you have very little control. Class
00:04:45.129 --> 00:04:49.149
sizes, curriculum, home lives of your students
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that come through your door every morning, your
00:04:52.269 --> 00:04:56.110
administration, the parking situation, which
00:04:56.110 --> 00:04:58.509
I don't know about at your school, but sometimes
00:04:58.509 --> 00:05:02.870
that can breed its own category of chaos. But
00:05:02.870 --> 00:05:06.810
you don't control most of it. But you do control
00:05:06.810 --> 00:05:10.769
what you do with what hits you. That's actually
00:05:10.769 --> 00:05:13.550
where a lot of the energy is. And it's the part
00:05:13.550 --> 00:05:16.610
most professional development completely ignores.
00:05:17.009 --> 00:05:20.110
Epictetus called it the discipline of ascent.
00:05:20.449 --> 00:05:22.970
I want to call it something a little bit simpler,
00:05:23.069 --> 00:05:25.709
so we're just going to call it the gap. That's
00:05:25.709 --> 00:05:28.689
the space between what happens to you and what
00:05:28.689 --> 00:05:32.470
you do next. So a parent sends a hostile email
00:05:32.470 --> 00:05:37.420
at 9 p .m. There's the email. Can't control that.
00:05:37.680 --> 00:05:41.500
The email has landed. And then there's what you
00:05:41.500 --> 00:05:44.500
do with it. Are you going to fire back immediately?
00:05:45.199 --> 00:05:47.439
Are you going to close the laptop and come back
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to it tomorrow? Whether you spend the next four
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hours composing a response in your head while
00:05:53.899 --> 00:05:57.000
you're supposed to be sleeping, that's the gap.
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That's the space. And it belongs to you entirely.
00:06:00.399 --> 00:06:04.540
Nobody else gets there unless you let them. You
00:06:04.540 --> 00:06:07.139
want to be careful here because I don't want
00:06:07.139 --> 00:06:10.879
this to sound like it is toxic positivity. Epictetus
00:06:10.879 --> 00:06:14.019
is not saying that this email was not real. He's
00:06:14.019 --> 00:06:16.240
not saying the student's behavior didn't happen.
00:06:16.540 --> 00:06:19.819
And he's not saying that the frustration isn't
00:06:19.819 --> 00:06:23.120
legitimate. But what he's saying is that the
00:06:23.120 --> 00:06:26.040
harm, the thing that actually costs you energy
00:06:26.040 --> 00:06:30.620
and sleep and peace, that does require your participation.
00:06:31.480 --> 00:06:34.300
You have to keep it going after the initial trigger.
00:06:34.480 --> 00:06:37.779
And once you see that, you have a choice you
00:06:37.779 --> 00:06:40.160
didn't know you had. So here's a little bit of
00:06:40.160 --> 00:06:42.920
the neuroscience, which I think is fascinating.
00:06:43.279 --> 00:06:45.779
And this is where it gets interesting from a
00:06:45.779 --> 00:06:49.300
completely different angle. Neuroanatomist Jill
00:06:49.300 --> 00:06:52.480
Bolte -Taylor did research on the physiological
00:06:52.480 --> 00:06:55.779
stress response. When something triggers you,
00:06:56.170 --> 00:06:59.569
The email, the eye roll, the comment, the actual
00:06:59.569 --> 00:07:03.449
physiological response in your body lasts approximately
00:07:03.449 --> 00:07:09.029
90 seconds. 90. After that, the chemical response
00:07:09.029 --> 00:07:12.750
is moved through your system. After 90 seconds,
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if you're still feeling it, you're the one that's
00:07:15.529 --> 00:07:18.750
keeping it going. Not consciously, not on purpose,
00:07:18.949 --> 00:07:22.230
but you are the mechanism at that point, not
00:07:22.230 --> 00:07:26.079
the trigger. I find that a little both unsettling
00:07:26.079 --> 00:07:28.180
and useful, especially the first time I read
00:07:28.180 --> 00:07:30.819
it. Unsettling because it means I have to take
00:07:30.819 --> 00:07:34.779
some responsibility for how long difficult things
00:07:34.779 --> 00:07:38.060
stay with me. I'm also useful because there's
00:07:38.060 --> 00:07:41.639
a window, a short one, but a real one where I
00:07:41.639 --> 00:07:45.519
can choose differently. 90 seconds is all you
00:07:45.519 --> 00:07:48.360
need to get into the gap. So what can this actually
00:07:48.360 --> 00:07:51.379
look like? So here are five things that I've
00:07:51.379 --> 00:07:54.560
either tried or am in the process of trying that
00:07:54.560 --> 00:07:57.639
create the gap in actual school day situations.
00:07:58.139 --> 00:08:02.000
Not theory, just something to practice. When
00:08:02.000 --> 00:08:05.480
a difficult email lands, I try to close it. I
00:08:05.480 --> 00:08:08.379
don't respond and I come back to it in 10 minutes
00:08:08.379 --> 00:08:12.459
or after lunch or often the next morning. The
00:08:12.459 --> 00:08:16.180
email hasn't changed, but I have. That one sounds
00:08:16.180 --> 00:08:19.829
simple and it is harder than it sounds. especially
00:08:19.829 --> 00:08:22.029
if you're the kind of person who needs to address
00:08:22.029 --> 00:08:25.850
things immediately. And I often am that person.
00:08:25.949 --> 00:08:28.370
Just want to get it over with, get it done, get
00:08:28.370 --> 00:08:31.829
it solved. Before a tense meeting or a difficult
00:08:31.829 --> 00:08:35.690
parent call, try to ask one question. What do
00:08:35.690 --> 00:08:38.809
I actually need from this exchange? Not what
00:08:38.809 --> 00:08:42.210
do I want to say? Not how do I defend myself?
00:08:42.730 --> 00:08:46.370
What do I need? And it changes how I walk in
00:08:46.370 --> 00:08:49.860
the situation. Or those times when a student
00:08:49.860 --> 00:08:53.779
pushes back hard, publicly, in front of everyone,
00:08:53.940 --> 00:08:57.480
in a way that just gets on every single nerve
00:08:57.480 --> 00:09:00.740
that you have. Just take two full seconds before
00:09:00.740 --> 00:09:04.320
you respond. Count them out in your head. I know
00:09:04.320 --> 00:09:07.340
what two seconds could feel like forever. The
00:09:07.340 --> 00:09:09.919
student thinks you're in control, and in those
00:09:09.919 --> 00:09:13.019
two seconds, you might actually get there. Before
00:09:13.019 --> 00:09:16.600
I open my work email after school, Before I let
00:09:16.600 --> 00:09:20.320
that day back in, one question, is this worth
00:09:20.320 --> 00:09:24.240
my piece tonight? Sometimes yes, most often than
00:09:24.240 --> 00:09:27.759
not, the answer is no. Naming it helps me put
00:09:27.759 --> 00:09:30.500
things down that I otherwise carry right into
00:09:30.500 --> 00:09:35.019
dinner. And finally, the last one. And this one
00:09:35.019 --> 00:09:37.179
is kind of the strangest, but it might be the
00:09:37.179 --> 00:09:40.340
most useful. When you catch yourself replaying
00:09:40.340 --> 00:09:43.759
something, running the tape back, refighting
00:09:43.759 --> 00:09:46.259
the conversation in your head, imagining what
00:09:46.259 --> 00:09:49.659
you should have said, just say it out loud, actually
00:09:49.659 --> 00:09:52.960
out loud, even just to yourself if it's in the
00:09:52.960 --> 00:09:56.259
car, telling yourself, I'm actually choosing
00:09:56.259 --> 00:10:00.120
to stay in this. Then decide if you really want
00:10:00.120 --> 00:10:04.100
to. Making a conscious choice rather than something
00:10:04.100 --> 00:10:06.600
that's just happening to you, it does change
00:10:06.600 --> 00:10:11.580
the quality of it completely. So this short episode
00:10:11.580 --> 00:10:15.320
today is the foundational episode, all about
00:10:15.320 --> 00:10:19.419
the gap and your response to what hits you. And
00:10:19.419 --> 00:10:22.879
in our next installment, we'll go a little bit
00:10:22.879 --> 00:10:25.460
deeper, a level deeper, and we'll talk about
00:10:25.460 --> 00:10:28.100
what you're giving your attention to before any
00:10:28.100 --> 00:10:31.840
provocation even arrives. Epictetus has a line
00:10:31.840 --> 00:10:35.179
that is deceptively simple. You become what you
00:10:35.179 --> 00:10:38.049
give your attention to. Now, we're spending a
00:10:38.049 --> 00:10:40.149
whole episode there, and I think it's going to
00:10:40.149 --> 00:10:43.690
be one that surprises people the most. And then
00:10:43.690 --> 00:10:46.389
week three is probably going to be the toughest
00:10:46.389 --> 00:10:49.669
one, and that's where you're sourcing your professional
00:10:49.669 --> 00:10:52.769
worth and why so many teachers are exhausted
00:10:52.769 --> 00:10:56.289
by an approval loop that the profession itself
00:10:56.289 --> 00:11:00.730
built into them. And then our fourth and final
00:11:00.730 --> 00:11:03.649
installment, we will turn back outward again.
00:11:04.220 --> 00:11:06.960
Because all of this work inside doesn't just
00:11:06.960 --> 00:11:10.059
benefit you. It changes the rooms that you're
00:11:10.059 --> 00:11:12.539
in. It changes what your students experience
00:11:12.539 --> 00:11:15.659
without you ever announcing it. So we got there
00:11:15.659 --> 00:11:19.080
four weeks. There's just one arc and all of it
00:11:19.080 --> 00:11:24.600
is built from within. Now, if any of this resonates
00:11:24.600 --> 00:11:28.879
with you, the newsletter version connected to
00:11:28.879 --> 00:11:32.500
this podcast went out recently and in it has.
00:11:33.230 --> 00:11:35.730
some resources you can look at. There's a book
00:11:35.730 --> 00:11:38.929
recommendation and a few more specific practices.
00:11:39.529 --> 00:11:43.049
You can find that at jeremyajorgensen .com, my
00:11:43.049 --> 00:11:46.509
website, or just search for Why Edify. And if
00:11:46.509 --> 00:11:49.710
you want to go deeper and have some actual conversations
00:11:49.710 --> 00:11:52.990
with other teachers that are exploring the same
00:11:52.990 --> 00:11:56.190
idea, the Strong Teachers Lounge, we're running
00:11:56.190 --> 00:11:59.450
a companion series called Built From Within,
00:11:59.610 --> 00:12:02.789
and it's alongside these four episodes. Every
00:12:02.789 --> 00:12:06.370
week there's a discussion prompt, a grade differentiated
00:12:06.370 --> 00:12:09.710
implementation guide, and you can find a link
00:12:09.710 --> 00:12:12.750
to get to that in the show notes or just search
00:12:12.750 --> 00:12:15.889
for the Strong Teachers Lounge. So be on the
00:12:15.889 --> 00:12:19.230
lookout for our second installment. And until
00:12:19.230 --> 00:12:21.129
then, stay strong.
