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In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I explore one of the most misunderstood patterns in human behaviour: self-sabotage.
What if you're not actually trying to sabotage yourself? What if the behaviour you're calling self-sabotage is actually an attempt to self-soothe, pulling you back to something familiar and comfortable when fear or uncertainty feels uncomfortable?
I explore how behavioural loops, identity, familiarity, and fear can keep us repeating patterns we know aren't helping us, and why success can sometimes feel more threatening than failure. Most importantly, I look at how curiosity and self-awareness can help us interrupt those patterns and develop healthier responses to discomfort.
Takeaways
👉 Self-sabotage may actually be self-soothing. We often return to familiar behaviours because they help us regulate discomfort, even when they don't serve us.
👉 Familiar doesn't always mean healthy. We can become more comfortable with what we know than with what we actually want.
👉 Fear can sit underneath self-sabotaging behaviour. Change, success and uncertainty can all trigger protective responses.
👉 Your behaviour can become a loop. Triggers create familiar responses, which create familiar outcomes, until you notice the pattern.
👉 Curiosity creates choice. Instead of asking, “Why am I doing this to myself?”, ask, “What is this behaviour trying to do for me?”
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