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Is perfectionism helping you succeed, or is it quietly sabotaging your happiness? Zovig Garboushian welcomes back therapist Wendy Morgan to unpack the complex nature of perfectionism—how it often starts as a protective mechanism but can evolve into a cycle of self-criticism, unattainable goals, and persistent feelings of failure. Together, they explore how perfectionism differs from striving for excellence, pointing out that one pulls us toward growth while the other pushes us away from fear. Sometimes, we tend to tie our worth to what we achieve. How can we begin to untangle that?
Through relatable insights and real-world examples, Zovig and Wendy discuss the emotional weight of perfectionism—how it manifests as shame, stress, and even physical symptoms—and offer practical ways to break free. They show how self-awareness, self-compassion, and grace can help you build a healthier relationship with yourself and move away from relying on external validation toward finding motivation within.
If you’ve ever felt trapped by the need to “get it right” or struggled to let go of unrealistic expectations, this episode will inspire you to embrace imperfection as part of your journey.
Quotes
- “Perfectionism comes up in us as a protective mechanism. It’s a way that we are protecting ourselves from feeling something that we don’t want to feel. They are helpful parts of ourselves right up until the moment that they’re not helpful. And then they become maladaptive.” (02:39 | Wendy Morgan)
- “What’s important about the distinction between a high achiever and a perfectionist is that drive component. A high achiever is someone who is pulled towards a goal… A perfectionist is often being pushed away from something and it’s usually fear of failure, right? So, it’s this distinction between being very forward focused and ‘I am moving towards something’ versus ‘I am avoiding the fear of failure.’” (07:55 | Wendy Morgan)
- “What perfectionists find is that they get there and it doesn’t actually last or really fill the bucket of what is needing to be filled. This notion of, if we’re moving toward excellence, or being a high achiever, we’re always taking steps in the right direction. But when we’re avoiding something, it’s like we can never get away from it. It’s always still behind us.” (11:18 | Wendy Morgan)
- “Our internal working system will always choose known discomfort over unknown comfort. And so, we can become really stuck in this notion of perfectionism being a self-fulfilling prophecy, of my not being enough being so true that I get to just stay in this discomfort because it is safer. It is easier to stay in this discomfort that I know really well than it is to even consider the possibility that I don't have to be here.” (34:58 | Wendy Morgan)
Links
Connect with Wendy Morgan:
Website: www.wendymorgantherapy.ca
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/wendy-morgan-46658116
Connect with Zovig Garboushian:
Website: www.boldnessablazecoaching.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/zoviggarboushian/
