Medieval Assassinations

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There, I go.
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Okay. Look, a boyfriend of the podcast, Justin, had.
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Some feedback for us about last week's show, which is
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that he didn't know what the Rapture was.
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And I thought you were cultured, I know, you ignoraimus,
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you uncultured swine. How dare you not know about stupid?
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Like it's religious.
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I was like, oh my gosh, I can't believe it
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because it's clearly we're just so American, and like, you know,
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just when you think you aren't, you are. And then
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also I was like, this is a bad job as
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a historian. We did not define our terms.
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I was like, you know, I guess we should. Yeah,
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I guess we should have done that. So, yeah, if
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you were listening to last week, The Rapture is a
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millenarian religious interpretation of the Book of Revelation that interprets
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it quite literally as a real thing that's going to happen,
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and uh, the rapture will take place, in which case, uh,
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the the the just, and the good who live on
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earth will be raised into Heaven uh bodily. Uh. Their
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their clothes will be left behind. They're driving the bus
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or the car or whatever, and it just plows into
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something because you know, they got taken et cetera, et cetera,
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and the rest of us are in for varying amounts
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of tribulation, years of tribulation, depending on, uh, which which
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interpretation you go with. I mean, and that's basically, like,
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I mean, there's clearly a lot more to it, but like, yeah,
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it's it's just some bullshit.
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Basically, it's a yeah, Like, I mean, that's the thing.
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I was like, I kind of don't want you to
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know about this because you've led such a blessed life
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up to this point in time. Yeah, and now I'm
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gonna now I'm gonna be like, hey, what's up.
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Yeah, Oh there's some bad vibes.
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I mean, yeah, I guess I guess we should have.
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I guess we should have been like, Okay, this is
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what it was. But I just don't, like, I don't
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know why. I guess, you know, I guess it is
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just seruvianism to assume that everybody knows what this is.
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But I but like I also kind of thought that
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like everybody would have gotten like the tailwinds of it
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from like the movies or what. I don't know. It's fine.
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I mean I think that like some of that's also
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like one of these things I think that a lot
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of like the movies or whatever, like don't necessarily make
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it out of the States.
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It's just like and I guess we got we just
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have to.
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Consider that, you know, like these kirdos can make these
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like cultural things and make all this money because they're
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just that many people in America, like you can do it.
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You don't have to have an international audience for that ship.
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Yeah. If you if you listened last week and didn't
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know what the rapture was, congratulations.
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Yes, yeah it does.
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I mean, it's not like other than it's something to
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laugh at. There's a uh, there's not a lot. It's
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I mean yeah, even even as end times prophecies go,
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it's pretty uh that's a pretty one. Yeah, it's pretty
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met because like, yeah, it's just yeah, I don't know,
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I find it fascinating, but like it's also one of
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those things that like, uh, yeah, if you don't like,
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if you don't.
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Know, like anyway, I mean, the point is, no one
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got no one got fucking raptured.
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I think you'll you and I can both agree right now.
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It was one guy, one person got raptured. They were
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in a room by themselves and will never figure it out. Yeah. Yeah,
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I don't know. We're all still here, all still in
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hell or perritory or whatever this is. But yeah, and
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that's cool because uh we got work to do and
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uh too.
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We do have work to do.
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Oh mm hmmmnking to say the least. Oh God. Anyway, Yeah, no,
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that uh that's pretty much it. I don't know. I
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don't have h I don't have a ton.
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Yeah, I don't know.
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I spent the day I was like writing for my
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personal Patreon about the reading list of that is in seven.
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So I've just got like Dante on the brain. I've
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got I'm all Dante adult.
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Like once again.
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So like when you're like, yeah, we're all in hell,
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I was like like immediately like, well, hell are purgatory,
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because you know, are we on the mountain or are
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we in the abyss?
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You're reading the booklist from seven.
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Well, I was like interpreting it right, like, say, you know,
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in seven, it's like he goes to the library.
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Like Paradise Lost the Divine Comedy.
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Yeah, but okay, so do you hold up.
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I'll bring it up, which seems which sounds kind of
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like cheating because one of those is just riffing off
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the other.
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But yeah, yeah, okay, so well, but even then, the
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Divine Comedy, it doesn't really get to the Seven Deadly
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Sins very much.
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It's mostly like, you know, the devil's doing whatever. So okay.
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So in the library, he writes down, you may want
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to check the following books read the Seven Deadly Sins,
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Dante's Purgatory, the Canterbury Tales, the Parsons Tale, and the
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Dictionary of Catholicism.
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Uh. And that Dictionary cathol doesn't exist. I think they
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mean the Catholic Encyclopedia. But that's okay. And then later on.
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I know, right, it's like, you know, just grab that.
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And then later on they're like, oh, the we need
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to ask uh the FBI because uh uh, he says,
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if you want to know who's reading Purgatory and Paradise
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Lost and Helter Skelter, the FBI's computers will tell us.
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So then we get to Paradise Lost, but also Helter Skelter, like,
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what has Charles Manson got to do with this?
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Uh?
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Then the FBI's list has the Divine Comedy, the History
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of Catholicism doesn't exist. Murderers and bad men doesn't exist.
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Modern homicide investigation doesn't exist. In Cold Blood of Human Bondage,
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the Marquis de Sade, which what which Marquis de Sade?
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And the writings of Saint Thomas Aquinas which again like
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is that.
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In Cold Blood by Truman Capodi.
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The other Truman Coponi book like the first ever true
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crime book, or like like on human Bondage that's like
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the Summerset mom thinly veiled autobiography like about like being
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a dude who fucks too much, Like.
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I think they just put that in to make a
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body sure.
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Yeah, oh, I mean yeah, you'd already had like well
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at some point if you have the bondage fetish like
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of h yeah yeah. The knife with the knife Dick.
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Yeah, we all remember the knife Dick.
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The guy, the guy who plays that, the guy who
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does that. He's a character actor. I don't remember his name,
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but his like thing in there, his delivery is so
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perfect because he's just like he is, like he's just
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freaking's like I don't know, I don't know, he just
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came up.
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I don't know. Yeah, he's so.
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Fucking anyway, that's a good movie it's a.
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Really good movie. Dude, like that stands up, stands Up.
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Rewatched it, but then overthought it because that's who I'm
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as a person. So yeah, that's what I've been doing
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all day. I wrote twenty hundred words all that what
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is wrong with Me?
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Wrong with Me? I like it? Oh is good?
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Yeah is good. That could be one for book club,
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even though it's not medieval.
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But I yeah, yeah, I like there's something in like
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in Paradise Lost, and I mean, I know you can
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interpret it different ways, but like to me, it's like
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Milton reckoning with like his belief in the Almighty, while
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at the same time like trying to come to terms
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with the fact that, like the world sucks, bad things
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happen to nice people, Like there's no rhyme or reason
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to like the Christian nations don't win wars against the
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nations of other religions all the time, so like you
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can't make heads or tails of that. And he's a guy,
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and he's like standing on the precipice of this thing
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that Like it's an idea that I think has been
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It's probably been around for a very long time. You know,
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people have been mad at their gods since we invented
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gods or you know, God's created us or whatever. But
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he is like standing on the precipice, and it's just like,
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you know what, everything, the entire history of the world
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and everything is pulling, pulling, trying to pull him back
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from this and like being like, no, don't do like,
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don't do this. You're going to open up a can
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of worms. This is insane. But then he can't help it,
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and he makes the devil sympathetic, and he makes the
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devil into an anti hero and God into your dad
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who's just a dick, and like maybe he's maybe he
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loves you, you know something like that. He probably does,
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but like at the same time, like how could you
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know for sure because he's treating you like that. And
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it's just like he's standing on the edge of this
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thing that has not been put into popular into the
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popular mille to this point, like there aren't a ton
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of like, hey, maybe you know, maybe Satan was you know, uh, maybe.
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Maybe he had, maybe he was maybe some points.
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Maybe yeah, maybe God has bad vibes and it is
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unpleasant to be around. Uh, And it just it feels
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to me like there's something so profound about it because
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he's so terrified of it and he has to write
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it and he does, and I mean, like I really do,
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Like I think it's one of those things where like
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sometimes books just capture, capture something, and maybe it happens
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at way after they're written or whatever, but they capture
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this thing, and he captures this moment where like overall religion,
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like overarching religion that spans like you know, entire regions
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and everything like that, like it was in the Middle
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Ages and especially pre thirty Years War, is like really
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going away, like it's it's finally falling away, and he
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has to contend with that, and he and ah, god,
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I love it. It's so good. Yeah, yeah, that was
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a lot. Oh yeah, brother on Paradise. I just think
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it's so lovely.
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I think, like, yeah, it's a really great piece of work,
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you know.
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And I and I have and like, look, I don't
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like Luther, but I do have a perverse respect for
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people who stand on the precipice of something like that
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and they do take the step. They do say fuck it,
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like they like, uh, jan Hu's the same way, like
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you stand up there and you say fuck you, fuck this.
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I do this.
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God is bullshit. I do not believe in this. Let's
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go and then yeah, and I mean you never, the
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consequences are never going to be anything that you could
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possibly imagine. You It's it's dealing with forces beyond our kid,
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and yeah, it's great. I love it. It's fun.
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Yeah.
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Why, that's why religion is interesting, Like it is interesting thing.
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Yeah, Like I think that we have to we simply
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have to hand it to the people who have the
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wherewithal to Like, sorry, I'm sitting in the living room
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today because I just like couldn't handle being in the dark.
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So, yeah, there's a motorcyclist.
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I don't know, I don't know, but yeah, like I
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think that it's really interesting to watch that kind of
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the watch that development happened, that the humanizing of you know,
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the devils and things, and you know, indeed, like I
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think that it's always possible to see.
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Them more as human, like more as you know.
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Pertaining to us than you know it is with God,
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because like the entire point of God is that he's
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always better than you, right, and Milton, And it's an
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interesting take for someone who will end up in like
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Oliver Cromwell's actual factual fucking government.
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But you know, we'll take it.
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I do always forget that.
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That's funny, isn't it right?
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It is?
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Oh man, all right, let's we should probably do the
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actual show the thing I can't Yeah, I can't do.
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I can't do. I can't riff on Paradix Loss right
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now for another forty minutes. I haven't read it. It's
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been I read it. That was like, yeah, that was
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like five years ago. It's like, what's time? I don't
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remember time anyway. Hello, welcome back to You're Not So Different,
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a podcast about how I'm gonna get misty eyed about
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someone being being being the little redded atheist of their time. Yeah, today, folks,
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we are talking about assassins, medieval assassinations and things such
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as that. But before we do, we have a couple questions.
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First from West Bank robbery. I would like to know
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what Yield mfrs thought about apes and monkeys.
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It's think they're quite funny.
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Yeah, pretty. First of all, it looks like people.
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It's like, yeah, like so they have the similar monkey
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thing that that we've got. There is like rather a
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lot of enjoying.
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The monkeness of them and using them as like sort
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of you know, kind of humorous stand ins and things
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like that, so like, h.
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You know, there is that kind of same like he
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he he, Like we enjoy the.
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Monkey, right, Like, but I went and I have pulled
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up the Aberdeen Bestiaries Monkey on apes and it says
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uh so they say, uh.
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Where sorry, this is this is great.
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So they've got like, you know, a couple of monkeys
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that they show up the top and they basically showed
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the monkeys carrying their babies around and they are so
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they're like really in the text kind of like talking
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about the family of them. So they say that like
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the female monkey gives birth the twins, loving one and
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hating the other. When hunted, she carries the loved ones
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in her arms while the other clings to her back.
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Eventually she tires, drops the favorite baby and the other
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one is saved.
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The ape does not have a tail, so that's the
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ape as opposed to the monkey does not have a
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a does not have a tail. So like there's this
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whole thing about like them being.
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Like, you know, they've got these this so they're kind
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of like here a standard for like the best laid plans,
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if that makes sense. The best Eeries will tell you
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about animals. Yeah, but like they they usually serve a
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moral purpose, and so it's like essentially you're you've got
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to understand them as like a way of talking about humans.
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They're kind of like humans. You might like feel differently
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about your kids.
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You might try to do certain things, but then you
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just kind of like get fucked up one way or another.
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And then so I think this is.
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Also where we get the term like monkey on your
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back to a certain extent, because it's like the ones
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on the back is like the one that you don't like,
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but because it's doing it under its own volition, it
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it it it's able to kind of like stick around,
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if that makes sense.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. The only thing I'll add is that, uh,
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the so the gorilla is first described in history, in
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written history anyway, as UH in five around five hundred
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BC by UH by a guy named a Carthaginian guy
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named Hanno the Navigator, who UH sailed at least part
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way around the West African coast, uh, you know, down
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towards Sierra Leone and all that, and UH is quote
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from his UH from his journal.
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Uh.
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They they encountered quote savage people the greater part of
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whom were women whose bodies were harry and whom our
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interpreters called gorilla end quote. And so basically it goes
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on for longer. But basically they thought these they originally
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did think these were people of some kind, like very hairy,
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primitive kind of people. They tried to bring some of
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them back to like teach them stuff, and the gorillas
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were kind of like, yeah, no, no thanks, We're not
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going to do that, and so they killed I think
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three of them and skinned them and took their hides
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back to Carthage and they stayed there until Room destroyed
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the city. Anyway, Yeah, basically, in the ancient world, at
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least in Carthage, gorilla became synonymous for a tribe of
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hairy women. So there you go. That is that is
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what some year old m efforts thought about them.
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I've got I've got also one because I'm going there
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on Friday for the Hartleypool Folk Festival to talk about
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wall sailing. But I'm going to Hartleypool and a colloquial
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term that you can use to talk about people from
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Hartleypool as you can call him a monkey hangar.
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Oh Jesus, because.
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Okay, let's say it's an apocryphal story, it's not real.
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And the idea is that during the Napoleonic Wars a
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there's a wreck of a French chas off the shore
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and the only survivor of the wreck is a monkey
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that had The guys in the army had dressed up
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in a French army uniform because they thought it would
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be funny. So the monkey swims to shore, gets found
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on the beach wearing wearing this like French army uniform,
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and they put it on trial and the like the
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joke is they've never seen a French person before or
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a monkey, and so they decide that it is like
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a French spy and they hang the monkey. This is
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not a real story, but apparently if you go to
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Hartlepool there are like monkey statues all over the place
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and that's fantastic.
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There you go, there you go.
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That is much better than I thought. Well, I knew
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you weren't going to say something like that and be
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like anyway, but but I was like.
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To cut the mic, the beep beep.
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I need to get a soundboard so I can.
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Simpson's technical difficulties one with the drunk cameraman.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, West Bank robbery, Thank you for the question.
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Next week, it went from Gaffzie, what are domesticated animals
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or pets that were more common in the Middle Ages
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but that would be considered odd nowadays. Squirrels fucking insane
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every time about it? Every time you come, Like, how
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the fuck did you get near a squirrel to catch it?
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What did you do?
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You'll put the nuts out, homie, put the knights run.
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They're maybe maybe okay, no, I'm sorry, let me take
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that back. Squirrels nowadays running probably for good reason. I
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assumed they'd always been like that, but maybe it was
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different back when they didn't have to dodge fucking cars
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and shit.
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Yeah, I mean we're talking about the red squirrels anyway. Yeah,
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who are like.
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The cutious, little cuty cute cutes, but they're super timid
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now and like I mean also endangered because like some
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Victoria's they are so timid. Yeah, and well some Victorian
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idiot brought gray squirrels over from America because they're like
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that'll be neat, and like they gave the red squirrels
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a bunch of diseases and then also like interbred with
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them and like the gray squirrel jeans are like mad dominant.
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So no, we just don't have very many red squirrels anymore.
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But you can see them someplaces, so they're just like
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truly truly wild when you do see them. But they
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are fucking adorable. But you know, if you just leave
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out in a nuts for long enough, and if you
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also like have them born in captivity, then that'll help.
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Yeah.
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And then the other the other big one to consider
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is of course pigeons, like our good friends the sky puppies.
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You know, the reason that every city is fucking full
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of pigeons is because everybody loved pigeons until like five
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minutes ago when we decided we didn't like pigeons anymore
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and just abandon.
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These get them out of here.
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Oh they're pretty Look I saw a chick uh women
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after my own Heart the other day who'd made a
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pair of booty shorts that said humans domesticated pigeons then
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abandoned them.
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It's like, I was like, that's good, this is a
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good bit.
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And also see I could see that as like you know,
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the one of the Evangelica on title card screens. You know,
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it's like humans, humans domesticated pigeons. And then abandoned them,
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00:22:52.359 --> 00:22:55.599
and you're like, what the fuck is this episode? And
387
00:22:55.720 --> 00:22:59.039
of course it's about changing is dead or what, but
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00:22:59.160 --> 00:23:03.200
you're just like always a, yeah, it's all about Shania's
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Jed or his mom. Everybody loves his mom, the woman
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00:23:06.039 --> 00:23:10.559
that no one can have or touch. Yep, yeah, well
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definitely nothing weird there. Nope, No, I'm just kid folks.
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We love it. I'm not saying it's not problematic sometimes,
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00:23:20.200 --> 00:23:25.759
but we do love it. But yeahs on.
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00:23:25.880 --> 00:23:30.920
The show, who doesn't like like a Italian we we're
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pro pro mac.
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Here I am.
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00:23:34.480 --> 00:23:38.079
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, yeah.
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Yeah, anyway, yeah, I got we we domesticated pigeons and
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uh then uh and then abandon them. Rude, very rude,
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00:23:48.359 --> 00:23:52.640
very rude. Anyway, Gassie, thank you very much for the question.
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If you would like to ask us questions like these,
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00:23:56.559 --> 00:23:59.599
we answered the top every show and then during our
403
00:24:00.319 --> 00:24:04.119
monthly mail back episodes, and please do subscribe at patreon
404
00:24:04.200 --> 00:24:09.680
dot com, slash w NSD pod you it's five bucks
405
00:24:09.720 --> 00:24:12.440
a month. You get all the episodes that for you.
406
00:24:12.680 --> 00:24:15.119
You get a bunch of bonus episodes. We just released
407
00:24:15.200 --> 00:24:20.799
episode ninety five. Bonus episode ninety five on UH the
408
00:24:21.519 --> 00:24:24.039
Uh it's the eighth in our book club series on
409
00:24:24.319 --> 00:24:27.079
the Cameron. So yeah, check that out if you want to.
410
00:24:27.480 --> 00:24:29.480
It's lots of fun.
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00:24:30.160 --> 00:24:32.680
Gosh, that's a lot of fucking episodes, mate, that's a
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00:24:32.720 --> 00:24:33.680
lot of bang for your butt.
413
00:24:33.680 --> 00:24:37.920
We're almost yeah, we're almost up to one hundred. Yeah soon. Uh,
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00:24:38.079 --> 00:24:41.599
you got right now. I think you got three. You
415
00:24:41.680 --> 00:24:45.079
got three hundred and forty total backlog of episodes on
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00:24:45.200 --> 00:24:50.960
there have last you a while. It will last you
417
00:24:51.119 --> 00:24:53.319
a while in case you have to, like while away
418
00:24:53.400 --> 00:24:56.640
a trip, like a long car ride, like like if
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00:24:56.640 --> 00:25:00.519
you choose a fucking car ride from like in circling
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00:25:00.599 --> 00:25:01.079
the globe.
421
00:25:01.519 --> 00:25:04.799
Yeah, Jesus Christ, Okay, all right, yeah, we're cooking.
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00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:05.480
We're cooking.
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00:25:06.160 --> 00:25:11.519
Let's go. All right, So onto the main show. For
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00:25:11.799 --> 00:25:16.000
absolutely no reason at all, we have decided to talk
425
00:25:16.119 --> 00:25:20.119
a little bit about ancient and medieval assassinations topically we've
426
00:25:20.400 --> 00:25:21.359
touched on before.
427
00:25:21.680 --> 00:25:24.759
No reason at all, I see, no reasons, no reasons.
428
00:25:24.960 --> 00:25:27.359
Uh, it's topical we've touched on before with all the
429
00:25:27.400 --> 00:25:29.599
political history we discussed on the show, but we've never
430
00:25:29.680 --> 00:25:32.079
focused on it, and that is to our detriment. Given
431
00:25:32.119 --> 00:25:34.839
the rich history we have to draw from the history
432
00:25:34.880 --> 00:25:37.599
of assassination appears to be about as old as human
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civilization itself thanks to stories, and the first verifiable instance
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00:25:42.960 --> 00:25:45.880
dates back to the Egyptian Old Kingdom. I think it
435
00:25:45.960 --> 00:25:50.920
was around like twenty three hundred BC, so yeah, BCE whatever.
436
00:25:51.759 --> 00:25:53.599
It was such a well known tool in the ancient
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00:25:53.640 --> 00:25:58.079
world that Sunsu, the famed Chinese general, military strategist and author,
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00:25:58.480 --> 00:26:00.839
wrote of its political merits as far back as five
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00:26:00.920 --> 00:26:03.880
hundred BCE, and a couple of centuries later in the
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foundational Indian political TREATI Treatise arthah Astra arthas Astra, which
441
00:26:13.119 --> 00:26:15.720
was used by Chantra Gupta to found the Marian Empire.
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00:26:16.680 --> 00:26:20.759
It was a tool used readily against a Kinemid Persian rulers,
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seven of whom died to assassins in a two hundred
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and fifty year period, a similar fate which would befall
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several Roman emperors, most famously the assassination of Julius Caesar
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at the end of the Roman Republic era, an event
447
00:26:35.559 --> 00:26:40.279
that had a special significance to the Roman obsessed medieval Europeans,
448
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despite lacking the same victim name recognition as the ancient
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00:26:44.720 --> 00:26:49.119
or modern eras the Middle Ages themselves were rife with assassinations.
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This includes, most prominently the infamous hashashin the a medieval
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Shia Islamic state slash order of assassins, from whom our
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00:27:03.599 --> 00:27:08.880
modern words assassin and assassination are probably derived via the
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00:27:08.960 --> 00:27:12.640
travelogues of Marco Polo. Despite what you may have heard,
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00:27:12.839 --> 00:27:15.359
they were in fact a real group that regularly committed
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targeted murder of political and religious opponents. So we will
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00:27:18.759 --> 00:27:22.279
talk about their attempts, both successful and unsuccessful, and dig
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into their rich history. But there's also the case of
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England's Henry the Second asking openly, won't somebody rid me
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of this troublesome Thomas Beckett. The early Byzantine emperors absolutely
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loved to get assassinated, often for the most petty reasons possible,
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and even some attempt at assassinations were massive, such as
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00:27:42.119 --> 00:27:46.519
the attempt on Chinshi Wangdi that drove him deeper into
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00:27:46.640 --> 00:27:50.720
paranoia before he became China's first emperor, and repeated attempts
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00:27:50.759 --> 00:27:55.279
on Saladin's life by the Order of Assassins. Folks, there's
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00:27:55.279 --> 00:27:58.680
a lot to get to it, Eleanor before we dive
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deep into the history, and let's exclude Julius Caesar, Abraham Lincoln,
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00:28:03.279 --> 00:28:07.559
and JFK. Which assassination or attempt assassination do you find
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the most interesting to study or think about. Not that
469
00:28:11.359 --> 00:28:13.720
they're good, they're all, of course very bad, very very bad,
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but very bad interesting to study in things.
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00:28:16.240 --> 00:28:18.920
I didn't say it was good, I said it was interesting.
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00:28:20.759 --> 00:28:23.240
Yes, I guess the one that I think about a
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lot is the assassination slash martyrdom of Saint Ludmila. She
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doesn't get talked about as much as Saint Wunchislaus. She
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is Saint Wencheslaus's grandma, and she's the first official martyr
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00:28:42.759 --> 00:28:46.240
of the Bohemian Church, so this is kind of like
477
00:28:46.279 --> 00:28:49.200
that Snatter story. She's a conference to Catholicism blah blah
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blah blah blah. She then gets killed because she's basically
479
00:28:55.799 --> 00:28:58.799
taken Saint Michislaus under his wing after his father dies,
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and she's making him a little to Catholic for his
481
00:29:01.680 --> 00:29:02.359
mother's taste.
482
00:29:02.359 --> 00:29:04.000
His mother, Drajo Mirah, is.
483
00:29:04.039 --> 00:29:08.279
A pagan and trying to raise her boy's pagan so
484
00:29:08.519 --> 00:29:13.240
Joomira thinks she has undue power over the kid and
485
00:29:13.319 --> 00:29:16.000
decides she's going to asassinate him. Now, what's interesting about
486
00:29:16.039 --> 00:29:20.119
this particular assassination of a Ludimilla is these three Nights
487
00:29:20.160 --> 00:29:22.440
get sent after Ludmilla.
488
00:29:22.079 --> 00:29:22.519
To kill her.
489
00:29:22.640 --> 00:29:25.279
And she's like, hell, yeah, brother, can't wait to get
490
00:29:25.440 --> 00:29:29.000
murdered by some pagans, like I've been trading for this
491
00:29:29.200 --> 00:29:32.279
my whole life. Fuck yeah, I can't wait to get martyred.
492
00:29:33.519 --> 00:29:36.039
And she's like, cut my head off, let's fucking go.
493
00:29:36.559 --> 00:29:40.519
And they're like no, because I know how your Christians
494
00:29:40.559 --> 00:29:43.680
are and you like to use blood as a relic,
495
00:29:43.920 --> 00:29:47.480
and so they do this specific thing of strangling her
496
00:29:47.640 --> 00:29:51.680
to death in order to avoid creating blood as a relic.
497
00:29:53.359 --> 00:29:56.200
And you know, this may be in entirely a pocryphal
498
00:29:56.240 --> 00:29:58.319
story one way or another. We do think she probably
499
00:29:58.359 --> 00:30:01.279
got killed, but I think it's interesting to write about
500
00:30:01.319 --> 00:30:06.799
it in this particularized manner where you're, as a part
501
00:30:06.880 --> 00:30:14.119
of the assassination thinking about the Christian ideas of a
502
00:30:14.400 --> 00:30:16.519
martyrdom and b relics. And I think that's really cool.
503
00:30:16.519 --> 00:30:17.960
So yeah, I think about that one a lot. That's
504
00:30:18.039 --> 00:30:20.640
my personal Roman Empire of assassinations.
505
00:30:20.680 --> 00:30:29.480
What about you? You got any I cannot hear you?
506
00:30:31.319 --> 00:30:34.480
God damn it. No, that's Okay, I muted myself that
507
00:30:34.599 --> 00:30:35.920
time instead of the thing doing it.
508
00:30:36.359 --> 00:30:37.240
Oh good, okay, good.
509
00:30:37.640 --> 00:30:43.160
Yeah. So yeah, for me, it is Castro because Castro is.
510
00:30:44.640 --> 00:30:47.160
Send as many FBI agents as you want. He's just
511
00:30:47.279 --> 00:30:50.119
gonna fuck him, same with things with salad and really.
512
00:30:50.319 --> 00:30:54.880
Yeah, he's just gonna fuck him and kill him. It's like, oh, oh, oh,
513
00:30:55.039 --> 00:30:58.480
you're an American spy. Oh that's so awful. Please look
514
00:30:58.519 --> 00:31:01.759
at my raw animal career. And they're like, uh huh
515
00:31:02.440 --> 00:31:08.440
uh no, but for real, uh cia Uh. Various organizations
516
00:31:08.559 --> 00:31:09.839
tried to assassinate him.
517
00:31:10.519 --> 00:31:10.640
Uh.
518
00:31:10.880 --> 00:31:14.440
They've admitted I believe they've admitted to at least twelve attempts.
519
00:31:15.279 --> 00:31:19.160
His sauceless, juiceless, juiceless motherfucker.
520
00:31:19.240 --> 00:31:21.319
And you not, how can you not kill a guy
521
00:31:21.400 --> 00:31:24.599
that lives that close? Like how like if you if
522
00:31:24.640 --> 00:31:29.640
you're going to assassinate him, They're like, it's yeah, a
523
00:31:29.920 --> 00:31:32.759
thing that his personal bodyguard.
524
00:31:33.200 --> 00:31:35.119
Uh, and and.
525
00:31:35.319 --> 00:31:37.759
Others say it was closer to like six hundred and
526
00:31:37.799 --> 00:31:40.279
thirty eight times if they failed. I don't really know.
527
00:31:40.640 --> 00:31:42.359
Six hundred and thirty eight is a way funnier. So
528
00:31:42.440 --> 00:31:45.200
that's the one I go with. But I mean, like,
529
00:31:45.680 --> 00:31:47.559
and this is the stuff we were talking about, like
530
00:31:47.680 --> 00:31:50.759
they tried to do the exploding cigar thing. That is real.
531
00:31:50.920 --> 00:31:53.279
That did that. That is the thing that they tried.
532
00:31:53.359 --> 00:31:59.880
And it's just like, I I don't. I don't understand
533
00:32:00.039 --> 00:32:02.920
how you failed twelve times. I don't understand how you
534
00:32:03.000 --> 00:32:05.599
could fail more than one hundred times. I just don't.
535
00:32:05.799 --> 00:32:11.440
Like it's so fast, it's so so fascinating to me.
536
00:32:11.599 --> 00:32:14.920
He's just like, yeah, no, I'm good like you guys.
537
00:32:15.079 --> 00:32:18.000
You know, like I'm going out like he he you know,
538
00:32:18.079 --> 00:32:21.440
walking out with like a without like a bulletproof vest
539
00:32:21.559 --> 00:32:23.960
on or whatever, like yeah, come on, Like it's just
540
00:32:24.119 --> 00:32:28.000
like I mean like you could, like you could have
541
00:32:28.079 --> 00:32:33.920
a sniper do this, Like it's not like yeah, I don't.
542
00:32:34.119 --> 00:32:37.880
I don't. I don't understand, Like because if you're because
543
00:32:37.960 --> 00:32:40.920
like why do you everybody knows you want him dead.
544
00:32:41.000 --> 00:32:44.960
Why do you care if sniper takes him out? And
545
00:32:45.119 --> 00:32:47.359
then like you you hang the sniper out to dry
546
00:32:47.400 --> 00:32:49.160
and be like, oh, he's a lone wolf or whatever,
547
00:32:49.319 --> 00:32:51.599
and then you're like, oh, well, anyway time to invade.
548
00:32:51.720 --> 00:32:56.119
Like I don't, I don't. It's baffling. It's it's just
549
00:32:56.240 --> 00:32:57.000
baffling to me.
550
00:32:57.200 --> 00:33:01.240
I mean, his charisma simply bends time and space. It does,
551
00:33:01.599 --> 00:33:05.240
and bullets can't hurt him. I'm imagining this is also
552
00:33:05.319 --> 00:33:07.599
what went down with Saladin, which we'll get to you later.
553
00:33:07.799 --> 00:33:18.400
But uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, So all right, so let's
554
00:33:18.759 --> 00:33:23.160
go back. Let's look at some uh pre medieval assassinations.
555
00:33:23.319 --> 00:33:28.680
I mean, I think the biggest, the biggest ones for
556
00:33:29.079 --> 00:33:34.160
the medieval, especially medieval Europeans. Uh. The first is Philip
557
00:33:34.200 --> 00:33:35.319
the Second of Macedon.
558
00:33:35.799 --> 00:33:35.920
Uh.
559
00:33:36.440 --> 00:33:39.319
He was the father of Alexander the Great and he
560
00:33:39.519 --> 00:33:42.920
was now he was killed by a jilted lover who
561
00:33:43.039 --> 00:33:47.279
is taking revenge. H you know, because the jilted lover
562
00:33:47.359 --> 00:33:54.319
had been sexually assaulted by one of Phillip's allies, and
563
00:33:55.240 --> 00:33:58.119
so he was kind of taking revenge. But a lot
564
00:33:58.200 --> 00:34:01.039
of people think it was an assassination, and in the
565
00:34:01.079 --> 00:34:03.680
Middle Ages they likely would have thought that as well.
566
00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:09.199
And then far far more important Julius Caesar in forty
567
00:34:09.280 --> 00:34:14.599
four BCE, I mean, probably the most famous and infamous
568
00:34:14.599 --> 00:34:19.360
assassination in history, immortalized by countless artists, writers and historians.
569
00:34:19.480 --> 00:34:22.000
You know, you know the deal. Twenty three stab wounds,
570
00:34:22.039 --> 00:34:24.360
only one of which was fatal. Twenty two people were
571
00:34:24.480 --> 00:34:26.639
just writing their name on the project at the end
572
00:34:26.679 --> 00:34:31.800
after someone else did the work. Fair enough, fair enough, yeah, eleanor.
573
00:34:33.400 --> 00:34:34.599
You know, he.
574
00:34:36.199 --> 00:34:41.320
Caesar gets assassinated by his fellow senators because they fear
575
00:34:41.440 --> 00:34:45.079
his power and they thought that they could just get
576
00:34:45.159 --> 00:34:48.159
things to they could brute force history into the way
577
00:34:48.280 --> 00:34:52.519
they wanted it to, but then found that was not
578
00:34:52.679 --> 00:34:54.599
the case. And then, of course, in the aftermath the
579
00:34:54.639 --> 00:34:57.440
Empire was formed by Augustus said, you know, the rest
580
00:34:57.519 --> 00:35:01.239
of Western history follows a So, like, what kind of
581
00:35:01.440 --> 00:35:06.159
place did this assassination have in the medieval mind? I mean,
582
00:35:06.239 --> 00:35:09.719
given that at the time, Caesar would have been like,
583
00:35:09.840 --> 00:35:11.960
I don't know, the fourth most famous person to have
584
00:35:12.039 --> 00:35:13.480
ever lived or something like that.
585
00:35:14.239 --> 00:35:16.280
Yeah, you're meant to understand that this is very bad.
586
00:35:18.239 --> 00:35:19.079
This is very bad.
587
00:35:19.440 --> 00:35:23.199
Dante lamenting it, He's like, oh, worst thing, the worst
588
00:35:23.239 --> 00:35:24.280
thing that ever happened.
589
00:35:24.639 --> 00:35:27.159
Julius Caesar would have loved me personally. We would have
590
00:35:27.239 --> 00:35:27.960
been a homies.
591
00:35:28.360 --> 00:35:33.400
Oh God, why, et cetera. I mean, yeah, basically, so,
592
00:35:33.639 --> 00:35:35.800
which is cute. They they love a bit of that,
593
00:35:36.079 --> 00:35:40.480
don't they. So, you know, obviously living in the world
594
00:35:40.559 --> 00:35:44.880
that they do, which aggrandizes Rome and has it played
595
00:35:44.880 --> 00:35:47.920
such an incredibly central role, not that we would know
596
00:35:47.960 --> 00:35:50.360
anything about that now, no, like no, we never do
597
00:35:50.719 --> 00:35:54.280
that sort of thing. But also, you know, living in
598
00:35:54.360 --> 00:35:58.079
an expressly monarchical world, you know, this is seen as
599
00:35:58.239 --> 00:36:00.280
like this great betrayal of.
600
00:36:01.880 --> 00:36:05.480
Kingship. And even though it's like emperorship here, so uh,
601
00:36:06.239 --> 00:36:07.440
you know, this is.
602
00:36:07.480 --> 00:36:10.440
Meant to be like the very very bad stuff really
603
00:36:10.599 --> 00:36:12.360
and this is why you know, you see certain people
604
00:36:12.400 --> 00:36:15.519
in Hell in the things, you know.
605
00:36:15.719 --> 00:36:19.039
So, but Caesar was in the top level. He was
606
00:36:19.079 --> 00:36:19.840
in the top level.
607
00:36:20.159 --> 00:36:20.920
Yeah, he's worthy.
608
00:36:22.599 --> 00:36:23.519
Yeah, yeah, so.
609
00:36:25.119 --> 00:36:28.639
You there's a reason why Dante also has like the
610
00:36:29.039 --> 00:36:31.639
violent levels of hell as down lower. So it's like
611
00:36:31.679 --> 00:36:33.760
by the time you like get involved with these things,
612
00:36:34.320 --> 00:36:38.400
then you're you're worst person, right, So this is kind
613
00:36:38.400 --> 00:36:42.800
of seen as this destabilizing event, even if it isn't
614
00:36:42.880 --> 00:36:47.079
really you know, the history here doesn't really matter. It's
615
00:36:47.079 --> 00:36:51.800
about the perception. And you know, the I think even
616
00:36:51.880 --> 00:36:54.159
now everyone is like, oh, poor Julius Caesar, and it's like,
617
00:36:54.199 --> 00:36:58.119
I don't know, man, kind.
618
00:36:57.960 --> 00:36:58.679
Of fuck that guy.
619
00:36:58.840 --> 00:37:00.800
But yah, so I don't.
620
00:37:01.039 --> 00:37:04.679
I think it's you probably shouldn't stab people forty four times.
621
00:37:04.719 --> 00:37:07.039
I'm not saying his exact.
622
00:37:06.760 --> 00:37:13.360
But his assassination is funny because of like literally only
623
00:37:13.440 --> 00:37:16.480
one person guy did a deep enough stab wound to
624
00:37:16.559 --> 00:37:19.119
kill him. The rest of them were like like surface
625
00:37:19.320 --> 00:37:22.719
nicks and like and cuts, and it's like if that
626
00:37:22.880 --> 00:37:26.599
one guy didn't get deep enough, like you basically just
627
00:37:26.719 --> 00:37:28.960
have twenty three senators who came up to him with
628
00:37:29.119 --> 00:37:33.679
like like sharply edged paper and gave him paper cuts
629
00:37:33.719 --> 00:37:37.360
and then like and then just are like, oh, he
630
00:37:37.519 --> 00:37:41.599
survived because I nicked him with a shaving razor. Whoops,
631
00:37:42.039 --> 00:37:46.679
yeahs back on me. Oh yeah, oh yeah.
632
00:37:47.119 --> 00:37:48.599
I think that's kind of like what we're seeing at
633
00:37:48.639 --> 00:37:50.800
play here is that it's like it's all good in theory,
634
00:37:50.920 --> 00:37:52.920
but if you actually have to go up and stab someone,
635
00:37:54.280 --> 00:37:56.000
it's kind of tricky, you know.
636
00:37:56.400 --> 00:37:59.000
Yeah, And I mean like you can tell like this
637
00:37:59.400 --> 00:38:02.239
like this is this is an utter betrayal of Rome
638
00:38:02.559 --> 00:38:07.360
and of the glory and majesty of the Roman Empire,
639
00:38:09.599 --> 00:38:14.280
because you know, Brutus is considered a trader on nearly
640
00:38:14.400 --> 00:38:18.320
on the level of Judas Iscariot by many people. I mean,
641
00:38:18.360 --> 00:38:21.840
obviously Dante did that, but that was not an uncommon
642
00:38:21.960 --> 00:38:25.039
idea and still isn't to be honest.
643
00:38:25.119 --> 00:38:26.320
But and.
644
00:38:29.039 --> 00:38:33.159
His his is also funny because like the Roman Empire
645
00:38:33.199 --> 00:38:38.079
that these people are worshiping and they want to get back,
646
00:38:38.280 --> 00:38:42.519
that doesn't come back until or that doesn't come about.
647
00:38:42.880 --> 00:38:45.880
Caesar has to die for that to happen. Like the
648
00:38:46.519 --> 00:38:48.920
thing that he was in charge of when he was
649
00:38:48.960 --> 00:38:52.480
alive was just like it was like the shoddy end
650
00:38:52.519 --> 00:38:55.239
of the republic, and he became like the dictator of it,
651
00:38:55.400 --> 00:39:01.480
and it's just like okay, cool, like all right, fine,
652
00:39:01.960 --> 00:39:04.880
it's it's just one of those things like he in
653
00:39:05.039 --> 00:39:07.960
order for like medieval Europe to take the shape that
654
00:39:08.039 --> 00:39:11.760
it does, Caesar has to die or like something like that,
655
00:39:11.920 --> 00:39:16.039
because it's gonna look way different if you don't have Augustus,
656
00:39:16.760 --> 00:39:20.079
you know, ruling declaring the empire in like fifteen BCE
657
00:39:20.480 --> 00:39:22.760
and then ruling it for whatever it was, like forty
658
00:39:22.800 --> 00:39:23.440
odd years.
659
00:39:24.320 --> 00:39:26.440
Yeah, yeah, you know, so like.
660
00:39:27.960 --> 00:39:29.800
Basically, these guys all have a heart on for the
661
00:39:29.880 --> 00:39:31.679
Roman Empire, so of course they're going to be sad
662
00:39:31.719 --> 00:39:32.519
when you kill.
663
00:39:34.000 --> 00:39:36.519
Julius whatever, you know.
664
00:39:36.760 --> 00:39:40.960
Yeah, anyway, Yeah, that's that's enough of Julius Caesar. We've
665
00:39:41.039 --> 00:39:44.320
got we've got bigger and better things to move on to. Uh.
666
00:39:44.679 --> 00:39:47.440
I mean, of course, the tradition of Roman emperors being
667
00:39:47.480 --> 00:39:51.559
assassinated is uh. It is is a is a story
668
00:39:51.760 --> 00:39:56.719
when a Caligula was killed by praetorians. Claudius was killed
669
00:39:56.760 --> 00:40:00.519
by someone. He died by poison. Possibly was it his
670
00:40:00.760 --> 00:40:05.679
mom or his stepmom, So I don't fucking know. Domitian
671
00:40:05.800 --> 00:40:09.320
was killed by his court admins, Galba VI praetorians, Getta
672
00:40:09.440 --> 00:40:12.840
by his brother and co emperor Maximinius Thrax, by his
673
00:40:12.880 --> 00:40:17.159
own soldiers, Severus Alexander, by legion mutiny, and many more.
674
00:40:17.800 --> 00:40:18.719
We'd love to see it.
675
00:40:18.840 --> 00:40:20.079
We'd love to see it, guys.
676
00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:20.599
Keep up around.
677
00:40:20.800 --> 00:40:21.000
Yeah.
678
00:40:21.800 --> 00:40:27.760
And then the Jewish assassination society, the SIKARII Uh. They
679
00:40:27.840 --> 00:40:31.599
were formed uh circus six CE in response to Roman
680
00:40:31.719 --> 00:40:35.239
territorial advancement and aggression, especially in the run up to
681
00:40:35.400 --> 00:40:40.719
the First Jewish Roman War. So yeah, moving into the
682
00:40:40.800 --> 00:40:44.159
Middle Ages, We're going to talk about a few before
683
00:40:44.199 --> 00:40:46.559
we get to the assassins, and then we'll spend the
684
00:40:46.599 --> 00:40:47.760
rest of the episode with them.
685
00:40:47.920 --> 00:40:48.679
So uh.
686
00:40:49.000 --> 00:40:52.159
You know, as we said, Byzantine emperors they loved to
687
00:40:52.320 --> 00:40:55.719
get assassinated, not as much as they love to get
688
00:40:55.880 --> 00:41:01.480
like overthrown in like city coups and exile, but at
689
00:41:01.559 --> 00:41:08.199
least seven Byzantine emperors were assassinated, uh including Justinian the Second,
690
00:41:08.320 --> 00:41:11.360
who was you know, the who came after Justinian the
691
00:41:11.760 --> 00:41:17.679
big one, Alexios Comninos, the son of Alexis Comninos the Second,
692
00:41:17.760 --> 00:41:22.039
the son of the more famous Alexios, and uh Nicophorio
693
00:41:22.239 --> 00:41:26.800
Nikophoros the second Foca, who was another guy who's trying
694
00:41:26.800 --> 00:41:32.840
to do well and got wrecked for his trouble. Pope
695
00:41:32.960 --> 00:41:37.119
John the tenth was assassinated by Gee of Tuscany and
696
00:41:37.320 --> 00:41:40.719
others in nine twenty eight CE. So it wasn't just
697
00:41:41.400 --> 00:41:46.000
political leaders. Sometimes the pope got got got.
698
00:41:46.320 --> 00:41:49.360
Proven me right about how popes aren't important for a
699
00:41:49.400 --> 00:41:50.039
really long time.
700
00:41:50.079 --> 00:41:50.800
You just killed them.
701
00:41:51.280 --> 00:41:54.360
You just killed you just killed You just assassinated a
702
00:41:54.440 --> 00:41:56.880
pope and well got to get a new vicar of Christ.
703
00:41:56.960 --> 00:42:02.480
I guess assassinating Byzantine emperors that's just proving their Roman right,
704
00:42:02.840 --> 00:42:05.519
Like that's all that is pope's it's it's proven that
705
00:42:05.599 --> 00:42:07.519
they suck and that nobody cares.
706
00:42:08.480 --> 00:42:12.360
Not at this point anyway. Yeah, it's is LUs the
707
00:42:12.440 --> 00:42:20.239
first of Bohemia possibly possibly assassinated. I believe the historical
708
00:42:20.320 --> 00:42:24.360
consensus is still out on that he died Eleanor do
709
00:42:24.440 --> 00:42:25.519
you I mean, do you think he was?
710
00:42:26.159 --> 00:42:28.920
I do think it's I do think his brother killed him.
711
00:42:29.199 --> 00:42:32.519
Okay, Okay, yeah, like I said, I thought you the
712
00:42:32.679 --> 00:42:35.440
story is, you know, the story is like the big
713
00:42:35.719 --> 00:42:38.039
hagiography one is that he gets killed in front of
714
00:42:38.119 --> 00:42:42.360
a church by his brother and some pals, his brother
715
00:42:42.480 --> 00:42:47.440
being Bullislaus the First the Cruel, and I think that
716
00:42:48.079 --> 00:42:50.480
he did probably kill him because they are going around
717
00:42:50.519 --> 00:42:51.960
calling him Bullslas the Cruel.
718
00:42:54.440 --> 00:43:00.320
So it's like, is coming to kill me? What Rul?
719
00:43:00.360 --> 00:43:00.719
What's up?
720
00:43:00.760 --> 00:43:03.599
And he's like, oh yeah, So like I think, you know,
721
00:43:03.719 --> 00:43:06.440
he gets the name fairly early on. And also just
722
00:43:06.519 --> 00:43:09.800
kind of like the way that he treats his brother's
723
00:43:10.199 --> 00:43:12.960
corpse and things kind of like indicates that he knows
724
00:43:13.039 --> 00:43:15.519
he's like done something politically datd you know, like he does.
725
00:43:16.199 --> 00:43:19.599
He does a lot to just be like, uh, my
726
00:43:19.840 --> 00:43:21.920
brothers a saint, you know, which is kind of like, well,
727
00:43:21.960 --> 00:43:22.599
who killed him?
728
00:43:22.679 --> 00:43:24.800
So yeah, I think he did get assassinated?
729
00:43:25.320 --> 00:43:29.760
Yeah, And uh then there is Thomas Beckett when somebody
730
00:43:29.880 --> 00:43:34.599
rid me of this troublesome priest Eleanor you.
731
00:43:34.639 --> 00:43:38.320
Know who London boy down London.
732
00:43:38.960 --> 00:43:40.360
Why did he get got what?
733
00:43:41.000 --> 00:43:42.199
Ocause he's just kind of.
734
00:43:43.960 --> 00:43:44.119
Him.
735
00:43:44.559 --> 00:43:47.079
So first, he and Henry this second are on really
736
00:43:47.119 --> 00:43:49.719
good terms right like when he's just kind of coming
737
00:43:49.840 --> 00:43:52.320
up and he's not as high up in the church.
738
00:43:52.800 --> 00:43:55.400
He and Henry are absolute homeboys. But you got to
739
00:43:55.480 --> 00:44:02.239
understand that Thomas is from London, like he is from
740
00:44:03.119 --> 00:44:05.559
more of a middle class background, so kind of like
741
00:44:05.679 --> 00:44:09.559
more of the like wealthy city boy.
742
00:44:09.639 --> 00:44:11.559
He's not from the noble classes.
743
00:44:12.599 --> 00:44:14.559
And so eventually Henry is like, well, I want this
744
00:44:14.639 --> 00:44:17.920
guy to be archbishop because I will have a lot
745
00:44:17.960 --> 00:44:19.920
of control over him. Because a first of all, he's
746
00:44:19.960 --> 00:44:24.480
my homie. We're always on like hunting trips, we hang
747
00:44:24.559 --> 00:44:26.800
out all the time, we're doing all of these specific
748
00:44:26.880 --> 00:44:31.800
things together. But also since he is just like some
749
00:44:32.039 --> 00:44:36.519
guild member's son from London and he doesn't have noble backing,
750
00:44:37.039 --> 00:44:39.239
he's going to owe his position to me, so he'll
751
00:44:39.280 --> 00:44:43.519
always do whatever the fuck I say. Basically, Thomas then
752
00:44:43.599 --> 00:44:45.480
celebrates by immediately being like, yeah, fuck you.
753
00:44:47.119 --> 00:44:48.079
I actually love the.
754
00:44:48.119 --> 00:44:50.400
Pope and I want to suck his dick and that's
755
00:44:50.480 --> 00:44:53.119
what I want to do. He spends a lot of
756
00:44:53.159 --> 00:44:58.639
time like not in England because the situation is so volatile.
757
00:44:59.559 --> 00:45:04.960
I don't think There's two things that I don't think.
758
00:45:05.079 --> 00:45:07.360
I don't think that who will rid me of this
759
00:45:07.559 --> 00:45:12.119
medicine priest story is literally accurate. I also don't think
760
00:45:12.159 --> 00:45:14.239
that Henry the second was stupid enough to think that
761
00:45:14.360 --> 00:45:16.960
Henry Henry Beckett should be killed. Well, sorry, Thomas Becket
762
00:45:17.039 --> 00:45:18.679
should be killed. He's not that stupid, right, He's a
763
00:45:18.800 --> 00:45:20.920
he's a really clever ruler. He's one of the he's
764
00:45:20.960 --> 00:45:23.480
one of the best kings England ever has, in my opinion.
765
00:45:24.639 --> 00:45:28.639
So you don't think he literally pointed at the Archbishop
766
00:45:28.719 --> 00:45:33.079
of Cannonburium was like kill that he kill that motherfucker.
767
00:45:33.159 --> 00:45:34.039
You don't think that.
768
00:45:34.159 --> 00:45:37.320
Now, No, But I do think that people around him
769
00:45:37.360 --> 00:45:39.239
were like, why don't we just kill this motherfucker. It's
770
00:45:39.280 --> 00:45:41.800
not like popes haven't been killed before or whatever, you know,
771
00:45:42.239 --> 00:45:42.800
and we'll.
772
00:45:42.679 --> 00:45:43.559
Like go to it.
773
00:45:44.639 --> 00:45:46.639
So anyway, what I mean, one way or another, those
774
00:45:46.960 --> 00:45:49.000
three nights go down there. But the thing about it
775
00:45:49.239 --> 00:45:52.880
is Thomas almost certainly knew he was gonna get got,
776
00:45:53.679 --> 00:45:56.920
you know, like when he gets killed that you know,
777
00:45:57.000 --> 00:45:58.360
like one of the things where they're like, oh, he's
778
00:45:58.400 --> 00:46:01.480
definitely a sight now. He's like he he like could
779
00:46:01.519 --> 00:46:04.079
have kind of hidden and he's like, no, I won't.
780
00:46:04.599 --> 00:46:06.239
And then they kill him and it's like oh, loh
781
00:46:06.320 --> 00:46:09.360
and behold he was wearing a hair shirt underneath his clothes. Wow,
782
00:46:09.519 --> 00:46:13.360
like crazy, you know, it was yeah, And it's like
783
00:46:13.480 --> 00:46:17.079
this guy who clearly loved the fucking high life up
784
00:46:17.119 --> 00:46:18.840
to this point in time, you know, like he he
785
00:46:19.039 --> 00:46:21.239
was just gunning for it and he got it, so
786
00:46:21.559 --> 00:46:24.480
like good for him, but yeah, yeah, uh.
787
00:46:25.400 --> 00:46:28.880
He got got some knights killed him.
788
00:46:30.079 --> 00:46:32.159
Exactly how this plays out I don't know, but it
789
00:46:32.239 --> 00:46:33.880
ended up being a good thing for England in the
790
00:46:33.920 --> 00:46:35.880
long run because they basically get like a cult of
791
00:46:35.920 --> 00:46:38.800
a saint and people start showing up to visit more often.
792
00:46:39.079 --> 00:46:41.559
So it's really funny, like what like Dover Castle, which
793
00:46:41.639 --> 00:46:44.000
is absolutely fucking huge, Like Henry spends all this money
794
00:46:44.280 --> 00:46:47.480
enlarging and fancying up Dover Castle because everyone's like, oh,
795
00:46:47.559 --> 00:46:50.760
I'd love to go to Canterbury and go on pilgrimage
796
00:46:50.800 --> 00:46:51.599
to the place where like.
797
00:46:51.800 --> 00:46:54.119
Your homies murdered your bishop. And he's like, oh, yeah,
798
00:46:54.159 --> 00:46:55.440
well you could stay here when you land.
799
00:46:55.519 --> 00:46:57.639
It's really funny, Yeah, it'll be it'll be a pilgrimage
800
00:46:57.679 --> 00:46:59.440
you can get you can get some time off in
801
00:46:59.519 --> 00:47:00.840
hell for like that's.
802
00:47:00.800 --> 00:47:01.679
Just yeah, it's good.
803
00:47:01.719 --> 00:47:05.639
It's good stuff, you know, in purgatory. Yeah, yeah, all right,
804
00:47:05.760 --> 00:47:07.360
let's get to what we came here to get to
805
00:47:08.159 --> 00:47:12.960
the hashashin aka the order of Assassins who are around
806
00:47:13.039 --> 00:47:17.159
from about ten ninety to about twelve seventy five CE.
807
00:47:18.559 --> 00:47:23.880
So I mean, as you all you know, me and
808
00:47:24.000 --> 00:47:26.519
Eleanor of course know this, and we're sure all of
809
00:47:26.599 --> 00:47:29.599
you do. But for the people who don't, you know,
810
00:47:29.719 --> 00:47:32.960
the Fatomid Caliphate was having issues by the ten nineties,
811
00:47:33.760 --> 00:47:38.159
and there was a succession struggle between the proclaimed Air
812
00:47:38.599 --> 00:47:45.559
Nizar and two others, al Mustan Syr and al Afdhal. Eventually,
813
00:47:45.840 --> 00:47:50.119
al Afdal led a palace coup against al Mustan Sir,
814
00:47:50.719 --> 00:47:54.320
who was killed and Nazar fled into the mountains in
815
00:47:54.519 --> 00:47:58.320
ten ninety four. He was later captured and executed by
816
00:47:58.360 --> 00:48:03.519
al Afdal following a battle into ninety five. Uh Nazari
817
00:48:04.360 --> 00:48:10.119
Nazari Ismaili adherents of Shia Islam then broke off and
818
00:48:10.239 --> 00:48:15.199
formed their own sect, believing that Nazzar was a psion
819
00:48:15.840 --> 00:48:23.920
of the prophet Muhammad's true successor, and uh one that
820
00:48:24.039 --> 00:48:30.639
he had one that he had ali ibn Abi Talib,
821
00:48:32.079 --> 00:48:35.719
who they believed have been declared the successor, and that
822
00:48:35.960 --> 00:48:40.079
his line had passed through Nazar and uh, yeah Nazari
823
00:48:40.239 --> 00:48:43.280
Ismaili are still around today. They think, Uh, the current
824
00:48:43.440 --> 00:48:47.719
aga Khan Agakhon the fifth uh is the spiritual leader
825
00:48:48.519 --> 00:48:52.440
and I'm mom of the Nazzari's. So yeah, that's a
826
00:48:52.519 --> 00:48:57.199
bit of background on that. So like eleanor you know,
827
00:48:57.320 --> 00:49:02.679
that's all well and good, but like why did they they?
828
00:49:03.159 --> 00:49:05.639
You know, who is this group to capture the Alement
829
00:49:05.800 --> 00:49:10.639
castle in present day Iran in about ten ninety and
830
00:49:11.840 --> 00:49:14.360
how do you how do you go from like just
831
00:49:14.440 --> 00:49:18.719
a group of marauders who captures a castle to being like, well,
832
00:49:18.800 --> 00:49:23.119
time to farm the entire state out as an assassin's guild.
833
00:49:24.320 --> 00:49:26.880
Like that's a fan Like that's a fantasy novel thing.
834
00:49:27.519 --> 00:49:30.360
You if you had this state in a fantasy novel,
835
00:49:30.400 --> 00:49:32.360
I'd be like, all right, guys, this is a little
836
00:49:32.440 --> 00:49:33.039
on the nose.
837
00:49:34.320 --> 00:49:36.519
Yeah, I mean, I guess the first is that they've
838
00:49:36.559 --> 00:49:40.360
got this specific brand of Islam that they are following,
839
00:49:40.480 --> 00:49:45.679
which is Ismilism, right, and so with that, that means
840
00:49:45.760 --> 00:49:52.159
you're specifically like following this one mom, and if what
841
00:49:52.320 --> 00:49:54.480
you're doing is you're like, yeah, our deal is that
842
00:49:54.800 --> 00:49:57.639
is like this one guy, it's really a lot easier
843
00:49:57.679 --> 00:50:01.559
to get into the kind of like let's say, a
844
00:50:01.679 --> 00:50:02.960
high control situation.
845
00:50:04.239 --> 00:50:06.480
The thing I think that we could we could say
846
00:50:06.519 --> 00:50:09.800
about it. They also appear to be very high on
847
00:50:09.960 --> 00:50:14.800
hash yep, that'll help you know.
848
00:50:15.039 --> 00:50:22.679
Yeah. The story goes that they they would bring in
849
00:50:22.800 --> 00:50:28.239
new recruits into the gardens in their castles and into
850
00:50:28.320 --> 00:50:31.360
their nicest gardens in their castles, and they would essentially
851
00:50:31.559 --> 00:50:36.119
just smoke them up with hashi used. Whether that was
852
00:50:36.239 --> 00:50:40.559
marijuana or keieth or him whatever, I don't know.
853
00:50:40.880 --> 00:50:42.000
It had THC in it.
854
00:50:42.280 --> 00:50:44.840
It had THC in it, and it got them high,
855
00:50:45.280 --> 00:50:48.880
or supposedly did. And they as they were high, they
856
00:50:48.960 --> 00:50:51.320
walked them through these gardens and they were like, you know,
857
00:50:51.440 --> 00:50:54.440
you can have all this if you just uh you know,
858
00:50:54.559 --> 00:50:58.320
follow us and and do what we say. And you know,
859
00:50:58.480 --> 00:51:00.679
then they would just you know, keep giving him a
860
00:51:00.719 --> 00:51:04.199
supply of hashish, and uh there you go. It's where
861
00:51:04.239 --> 00:51:06.119
we get the word for assassins and where we get
862
00:51:06.119 --> 00:51:11.760
the word uh hashish. So yeah, just a panoply of
863
00:51:12.000 --> 00:51:13.280
historical consequence.
864
00:51:13.360 --> 00:51:14.920
Yeah, it's like a dude's like, what are you gonna do?
865
00:51:15.239 --> 00:51:17.079
It's it's the Middle Ages. How are you gonna keep
866
00:51:17.119 --> 00:51:18.840
him down on the farm? Once they've got really really
867
00:51:18.960 --> 00:51:21.719
high in a palace garden, right, they're like, yeah, shit,
868
00:51:21.719 --> 00:51:23.079
I don't know, man, like I'll fucking.
869
00:51:23.639 --> 00:51:28.440
I'll kill someone. Yeah, I mean like like yeah, it's uh,
870
00:51:29.280 --> 00:51:33.599
you know, I think anybody who's ever like gotten extremely
871
00:51:33.800 --> 00:51:36.719
high on like really high grade weed or something like that,
872
00:51:37.000 --> 00:51:39.079
or even bad weed, you know, like you're just like,
873
00:51:40.000 --> 00:51:42.559
you know, you could probably be uh be talked into
874
00:51:42.639 --> 00:51:45.719
things a lot easier. And so like if someone like
875
00:51:45.960 --> 00:51:47.840
gets you high and then brings you into this garden
876
00:51:47.880 --> 00:51:50.639
where there's like a couple of like women who are
877
00:51:50.719 --> 00:51:53.679
dancing and kind of writhing around, you're like, oh, yeah, sure,
878
00:51:54.199 --> 00:51:56.360
yeah kill some guy. I don't even like yeah, well
879
00:51:56.639 --> 00:52:01.239
yeah cool, but I mean yeah, it's so that seems
880
00:52:01.360 --> 00:52:05.199
to be that that's the uh, that's the story of
881
00:52:05.360 --> 00:52:08.159
like how they bring people in and like their connection
882
00:52:08.360 --> 00:52:11.719
to hashish this this dues. Even though that sounds like
883
00:52:11.800 --> 00:52:14.880
a fan again, another fantastical, insane kind of thing that
884
00:52:15.000 --> 00:52:19.119
does seem to be backed up by various historical sources
885
00:52:19.400 --> 00:52:26.239
Marco Polo, uh several uh uh, several Islamic scholars and historians.
886
00:52:27.639 --> 00:52:32.320
So you know, like, uh, I guess like you. So
887
00:52:32.440 --> 00:52:35.199
you're starting out and and let's say you're the Order
888
00:52:35.239 --> 00:52:37.920
of Assassins. You got a nice little castle. Uh, you
889
00:52:38.039 --> 00:52:40.679
got you got the Alumut Castle. Later you're gonna take
890
00:52:40.760 --> 00:52:48.320
mysiaf down in Syria, and you're like, okay, so who
891
00:52:48.679 --> 00:52:52.519
who are we setting our sights on first? And I
892
00:52:52.599 --> 00:52:55.800
should note that the list of I'll go ahead, I'll
893
00:52:55.840 --> 00:52:57.000
bring it up the second go ahead.
894
00:52:57.360 --> 00:52:58.760
Well, no, I mean the thing that I think is
895
00:52:58.840 --> 00:53:02.559
quite interesting is how they like basically franchise out. Yeah.
896
00:53:03.119 --> 00:53:06.840
They were like we need yeah, we got to get
897
00:53:06.840 --> 00:53:10.239
more coverage over in Syria. They got a lot of
898
00:53:10.320 --> 00:53:12.880
potential down there, Like we don't have a there's not
899
00:53:12.960 --> 00:53:16.960
another McDonald's for miles. We just put one down there.
900
00:53:17.199 --> 00:53:19.920
It'll get all the interstate traffic, it'll be great. And
901
00:53:20.000 --> 00:53:24.480
people in Syria are like, fucking yeah, sounds good. Let's
902
00:53:24.559 --> 00:53:25.400
let's fucking do it.
903
00:53:25.559 --> 00:53:27.360
Yeah yeah, yeah.
904
00:53:27.559 --> 00:53:33.079
I just think that it is interesting that people are like, yeah,
905
00:53:33.119 --> 00:53:35.840
this is a really good idea. Yeah, Like I think
906
00:53:35.920 --> 00:53:38.519
that kind of tells you a lot about how political
907
00:53:38.639 --> 00:53:40.960
violence works. At the time, were like, yeah, dude, this
908
00:53:41.079 --> 00:53:45.280
is great. Yeah, so yeah, like they so they they
909
00:53:45.519 --> 00:53:50.079
They're like, we're gonna send down al Jakim al Munagium.
910
00:53:51.480 --> 00:53:54.119
And he's a physician astrologer. But let I want to
911
00:53:54.159 --> 00:53:57.360
make it so clear, he did not take the hypocritical
912
00:54:01.480 --> 00:54:03.360
at least he's like, dude, that only that's only while
913
00:54:03.400 --> 00:54:05.000
I'm at work, you know, this is more of a
914
00:54:05.079 --> 00:54:10.239
pastime for me. But basically, they kick off their first
915
00:54:10.280 --> 00:54:14.639
assassination in eleven oh three by killing the Emir of
916
00:54:14.760 --> 00:54:23.000
Holmes uh and he was the he was the enemy
917
00:54:23.119 --> 00:54:26.320
of the Emir of Aleppo. So like they're going they're
918
00:54:26.320 --> 00:54:28.679
going pretty high up already, like I mean, but by
919
00:54:28.719 --> 00:54:30.840
the time you can get to the fucking emrror, like
920
00:54:30.960 --> 00:54:32.960
you're like, this is a group of guys who knows
921
00:54:33.000 --> 00:54:33.480
what's going on?
922
00:54:33.719 --> 00:54:36.679
Right, So basically, like he shows up to the Great.
923
00:54:36.599 --> 00:54:42.480
Mosque in Holmes and like just gets fucking gut immediately,
924
00:54:44.280 --> 00:54:48.559
and you know, so that seemed to work out pretty
925
00:54:48.599 --> 00:54:51.719
well for all involved, I guess, yeah, you know.
926
00:54:54.119 --> 00:54:59.519
Yeah, So like there's like a list of like of
927
00:54:59.760 --> 00:55:05.199
life victims of assassins. And now all of these can't
928
00:55:05.599 --> 00:55:09.199
be conclusively proven to be to be the work of
929
00:55:09.280 --> 00:55:13.800
the Hashashim. But like this list is, there's like eighty
930
00:55:13.880 --> 00:55:16.760
something names on this and like I mean, now, granted,
931
00:55:17.079 --> 00:55:21.440
like you know, most states killed more than eighty people
932
00:55:21.559 --> 00:55:25.760
in a year, but most states aren't like advertising that
933
00:55:25.920 --> 00:55:31.719
their raison debt is assassination. So there's you know, eighty,
934
00:55:32.599 --> 00:55:37.000
you know, eighty murders here, and I mean they these
935
00:55:37.199 --> 00:55:42.480
range from like people that they didn't like, to like
936
00:55:42.679 --> 00:55:47.599
people that, you know, religious enemies who had offended their
937
00:55:47.679 --> 00:55:53.880
sector Shia or you know, just people who had offended
938
00:55:53.960 --> 00:55:57.119
the leaders of their government or whatever. And it's like
939
00:55:57.239 --> 00:56:04.599
you get and but then they're also like, okay, uh,
940
00:56:05.159 --> 00:56:08.719
you know, they they took out a Fatimid caliph named
941
00:56:08.760 --> 00:56:15.199
al Amir by akam Uh. Two Abbasid caliphs, al Mustarshied
942
00:56:15.320 --> 00:56:19.800
and al Rashid were both killed. But they but the
943
00:56:19.880 --> 00:56:25.679
thing is they didn't just stop with Muslims or other
944
00:56:25.760 --> 00:56:31.199
people in the Levant or or Iran. They they they
945
00:56:31.239 --> 00:56:38.559
were fine going after those fucking asshole crusader states in crusaders,
946
00:56:39.960 --> 00:56:45.880
and they successfully killed Brahman the second the account of Tripoli.
947
00:56:46.239 --> 00:56:52.440
And then I think probably most famous to Europeans and
948
00:56:52.559 --> 00:56:56.320
the Western world was that they killed a man named
949
00:56:57.119 --> 00:57:03.679
Conrad of Montferrat in UH during the I think it
950
00:57:03.800 --> 00:57:10.960
was the Third Crusade. Eleanor who who is Conrad of Montferrat?
951
00:57:11.239 --> 00:57:16.840
What was he doing there? And who supposedly ordered this assassination?
952
00:57:17.320 --> 00:57:20.800
Oh God, bless Conrad. Like here's the thing.
953
00:57:21.480 --> 00:57:24.239
Listen, listen to me, Like, here is the thing about
954
00:57:24.280 --> 00:57:30.079
white boys in the middle Sometimes you get so quirked up,
955
00:57:30.679 --> 00:57:35.079
you know, you're all like a halalikum friends, and it
956
00:57:35.239 --> 00:57:37.000
just doesn't it doesn't.
957
00:57:36.760 --> 00:57:41.000
Really come off. But so this white boy is pretty
958
00:57:41.079 --> 00:57:46.440
much the king of Jerusalem. He's got there through marriage.
959
00:57:47.440 --> 00:57:48.920
You know, you will you will notice that we're not
960
00:57:49.039 --> 00:57:53.920
calling him Conrad of Jerusalem, right, So yeah, So he
961
00:57:54.559 --> 00:57:59.440
basically he doesn't last particularly long. He marries Isabella the
962
00:57:59.480 --> 00:58:05.079
First of Rusalem in eleven ninety, and then he has
963
00:58:05.119 --> 00:58:08.599
to get elected because it's technically an elective kingship. Remember
964
00:58:08.639 --> 00:58:11.280
we talked about this in UH, Welcome to the Crusades,
965
00:58:11.400 --> 00:58:14.119
when like they're trying to decide who's going to control it, right,
966
00:58:14.559 --> 00:58:17.079
so everyone has dot com yep, that's what Welcome to
967
00:58:17.119 --> 00:58:22.000
the Crusades dot com. Yeah, so basically he finally gets
968
00:58:22.079 --> 00:58:28.880
elected in eleven ninety two and then immediately skilled and
969
00:58:29.079 --> 00:58:32.000
like I don't even joking, I'm not even joking.
970
00:58:32.119 --> 00:58:35.719
He's like, it's like a matter of days until he
971
00:58:36.199 --> 00:58:37.239
is he is killed.
972
00:58:37.400 --> 00:58:40.360
Right. So he is from the Piedmont, so you know,
973
00:58:40.519 --> 00:58:43.880
kind of like the area that sometimes from sometimes Italy.
974
00:58:44.719 --> 00:58:47.800
You know, so he's a Holy Roman imperial subject. We
975
00:58:47.960 --> 00:58:52.960
don't really know that much about him, but we do
976
00:58:53.199 --> 00:58:56.199
know that his family was allied with the Byzantines, which
977
00:58:56.239 --> 00:58:58.480
is how he kind of like comes to be understood
978
00:58:59.079 --> 00:59:01.840
as like the possible sort of dude that you could
979
00:59:02.239 --> 00:59:08.760
marry off into Jerusalem. And also he kind of gets
980
00:59:08.800 --> 00:59:11.400
put forward in this way because the Byzantines are like, yeah,
981
00:59:11.400 --> 00:59:15.199
that'd be great for us if like someone who is
982
00:59:15.360 --> 00:59:18.199
our friend is kind of on the throne. He had
983
00:59:18.239 --> 00:59:20.360
been also around in the shop kind of sort of
984
00:59:20.440 --> 00:59:25.079
like helping to defend hire places like that, but yeah,
985
00:59:25.400 --> 00:59:27.840
you know, he doesn't. It's a real struggle for him
986
00:59:27.880 --> 00:59:29.960
to even get to the throne in the first place.
987
00:59:31.480 --> 00:59:35.320
And then we've got we've got a source from it
988
00:59:35.519 --> 00:59:39.239
that I looked up, which is quite funny. And they
989
00:59:39.360 --> 00:59:43.800
say that he rode home through the city, flanked by
990
00:59:43.800 --> 00:59:45.519
a pair of guards, and as he turned down a
991
00:59:45.599 --> 00:59:48.119
narrow street, he saw two men sitting on either side
992
00:59:48.159 --> 00:59:50.679
of the road. As Conrad approached, they stood up and
993
00:59:50.760 --> 00:59:52.840
walked to meet him. One of them was holding a letter.
994
00:59:53.199 --> 00:59:56.039
Conrad was intrigued, but did not dismount. Rather, he stretched
995
00:59:56.039 --> 00:59:57.920
down from his horse and reached out to take the letter.
996
00:59:58.000 --> 00:59:59.920
As he did so, the man holding the letter drew
997
01:00:00.079 --> 01:00:04.519
knife and stabbed upwards, plunging the blade deep into Conrad's body.
998
01:00:05.239 --> 01:00:08.239
At the same time, leapt onto the back of Conrad's
999
01:00:08.280 --> 01:00:09.239
horse and stabbed him.
1000
01:00:09.159 --> 01:00:09.760
In his side.
1001
01:00:11.840 --> 01:00:18.280
Not yeah, so yeah, he survives a little while longer,
1002
01:00:18.719 --> 01:00:21.519
but we're not sure. Some people say he died at
1003
01:00:21.519 --> 01:00:24.159
the scene of his attack. Some people say he got
1004
01:00:24.239 --> 01:00:25.760
dragged into a church and died there.
1005
01:00:26.760 --> 01:00:30.400
Uh yeah, yeah, so yeah, that's pretty good.
1006
01:00:30.559 --> 01:00:37.480
Yeah yeah, and uh you know that, uh, that murder
1007
01:00:38.079 --> 01:00:45.239
was definitely not ordered by Richard the first Richard the
1008
01:00:46.000 --> 01:00:50.519
King of England, because he and Montferrat were having the
1009
01:00:51.119 --> 01:00:55.760
quarrel of some kind. It definitely wasn't that it was,
1010
01:00:55.880 --> 01:00:59.559
And that's the thing say for sure. It may traditionally,
1011
01:00:59.719 --> 01:01:01.920
and the coolest story is Richard the Lionheart, but it
1012
01:01:01.960 --> 01:01:03.639
could have been I go with that.
1013
01:01:04.639 --> 01:01:08.559
I think that that's that's what I think. Yeah, so
1014
01:01:08.760 --> 01:01:12.400
because I think that, like you know, because the things
1015
01:01:12.400 --> 01:01:14.239
that you tend to see now is they're like, oh,
1016
01:01:14.599 --> 01:01:16.760
well he was killed by the assassins, so they were
1017
01:01:16.840 --> 01:01:19.079
in league with they were in league with Seliden, and
1018
01:01:19.159 --> 01:01:20.039
I'm like, were they.
1019
01:01:21.519 --> 01:01:24.960
Yeah, that's not like a thing of okay. First of all,
1020
01:01:25.039 --> 01:01:30.280
they tried, uh, there was one confirmed attempted assassination that
1021
01:01:30.400 --> 01:01:33.599
they tried on Saladin because he kept moving, he kept
1022
01:01:33.639 --> 01:01:36.159
pushing them back like he wanted them out of Syria,
1023
01:01:36.280 --> 01:01:40.960
he wanted them out of the Massioff castle and he
1024
01:01:42.039 --> 01:01:44.440
so he went after them like that. And then they
1025
01:01:44.519 --> 01:01:48.519
supposedly tried another attempt at assassination. That was a plot
1026
01:01:48.639 --> 01:01:51.599
that was full before there was even like an actual
1027
01:01:51.639 --> 01:01:57.719
attempt made. But he I cannot see him doing that,
1028
01:01:58.039 --> 01:02:02.280
especially since he had his own army and an entire
1029
01:02:02.400 --> 01:02:04.400
state under him by that point. If he wanted to,
1030
01:02:04.639 --> 01:02:08.159
if he wanted Conrad of Montferat quietly killed, he had
1031
01:02:08.199 --> 01:02:11.159
plenty of people who could do it, who weren't who
1032
01:02:11.239 --> 01:02:13.360
hadn't previously tried to kill him.
1033
01:02:14.119 --> 01:02:17.440
Mmmm. It's like to me, it just very much seems
1034
01:02:17.960 --> 01:02:24.199
as though certain piece of shit English kings paid good
1035
01:02:24.239 --> 01:02:26.400
money for this to happen, right like.
1036
01:02:26.599 --> 01:02:30.760
And they yeah, and and this was and this was
1037
01:02:31.119 --> 01:02:33.480
was a was a known thing at the time because
1038
01:02:33.880 --> 01:02:36.440
part of the reason that Richard the Lionheart is going
1039
01:02:36.559 --> 01:02:41.920
to be kidnapped by the Holy Roman Empire on the
1040
01:02:42.000 --> 01:02:45.000
way back from the Crusade is because of it. They
1041
01:02:45.039 --> 01:02:48.000
were going to cite Conrad's death. So like, this is
1042
01:02:48.639 --> 01:02:52.320
this is not something that like historians came up with recently,
1043
01:02:52.559 --> 01:02:55.880
Like this was like Conrad died in eleven ninety two
1044
01:02:56.199 --> 01:02:59.719
and Richard was getting arrested for this like a year
1045
01:02:59.719 --> 01:03:03.239
and a half half later, so like yeah, it's yeah,
1046
01:03:04.519 --> 01:03:07.800
yeah they And when we were talking earlier, we should
1047
01:03:07.800 --> 01:03:10.480
have talked like that. We should have mentioned there is
1048
01:03:10.559 --> 01:03:12.760
this thing called the Old Man of the Mountain, who
1049
01:03:12.840 --> 01:03:16.840
is supposed which is what like the word that are
1050
01:03:16.880 --> 01:03:22.440
the phrase that Marco Polo used to refer to, Like
1051
01:03:22.599 --> 01:03:27.639
the leader he was referring to is the Grand Master
1052
01:03:27.800 --> 01:03:30.920
of the Order of Assassins, who during his time was
1053
01:03:31.000 --> 01:03:36.159
a Hassan e Sabah And so like there's like this
1054
01:03:36.280 --> 01:03:38.760
whole like myth around like the old man in the
1055
01:03:38.840 --> 01:03:42.239
mountain and that, and part of like what they what
1056
01:03:42.360 --> 01:03:45.880
they're doing with the Hashish ceremonies is like taking them
1057
01:03:45.920 --> 01:03:48.119
to meet the supposed the old man in the mountain
1058
01:03:48.159 --> 01:03:51.760
and talking to him. And if you read stuff on this,
1059
01:03:52.199 --> 01:03:55.239
European chroniclers, because of Marco Polo, will refer to this
1060
01:03:55.360 --> 01:03:58.719
man almost exclusively as like as just the old man
1061
01:03:58.760 --> 01:04:02.480
in the mountain. So that's, yeah, that's something we missed earlier.
1062
01:04:02.599 --> 01:04:06.480
But the assassins they went on like this. There were
1063
01:04:06.679 --> 01:04:10.440
reprisals and counter reprisals, and they tried to get they
1064
01:04:10.599 --> 01:04:13.559
tried to you know, I mean, they they had success,
1065
01:04:13.840 --> 01:04:16.519
but like you can't really it's hard to like build
1066
01:04:16.599 --> 01:04:19.159
like a firm state out of all of this because
1067
01:04:22.920 --> 01:04:25.760
like do you have like peasants that are like you know,
1068
01:04:26.000 --> 01:04:28.599
we're the peasants who do the farming for like the
1069
01:04:28.719 --> 01:04:34.159
assss Like, like it's not it's not a stable basis
1070
01:04:34.559 --> 01:04:37.679
even to form even a medieval state. It's just not
1071
01:04:38.000 --> 01:04:40.599
a thing. So it's gonna have trouble like having like
1072
01:04:42.119 --> 01:04:48.239
real staying power over time. But they also got way
1073
01:04:48.280 --> 01:04:53.199
out over their Skis because towards the end in the
1074
01:04:53.280 --> 01:05:00.239
twelve fifties, they tried to assassinate Manka kan who was
1075
01:05:01.320 --> 01:05:05.320
one of the grandchildren of Yenghis Khan, the third con
1076
01:05:05.400 --> 01:05:08.840
to take over. There was Yingis Khan and then Oga
1077
01:05:08.920 --> 01:05:12.599
Day and then there was an interim in which there
1078
01:05:12.679 --> 01:05:15.960
was actually a female Khanes for a little while, was
1079
01:05:16.000 --> 01:05:18.719
like ten years. But anyway, Manka Khan was the third
1080
01:05:18.840 --> 01:05:22.920
male khn in the line of Gingus and Uh it
1081
01:05:23.039 --> 01:05:26.880
was supposed they supposedly sent forty men to Kara Korum
1082
01:05:27.119 --> 01:05:32.639
to kill Manka Khan and uh it was ordered, was
1083
01:05:32.679 --> 01:05:38.280
supposedly ordered by a lah al Din Muhammad, and they failed.
1084
01:05:38.599 --> 01:05:44.800
Manka Khan was already a an extremely loved he. Yeah,
1085
01:05:44.920 --> 01:05:51.760
he was already extremely paranoid guy. He had uh. He's
1086
01:05:51.920 --> 01:05:58.079
described very well by William of Tire, who was in English.
1087
01:05:59.400 --> 01:06:02.679
I think he was of English extraction, but obviously out
1088
01:06:02.679 --> 01:06:06.559
of Tire, who met with the Manga Khan and talked
1089
01:06:06.599 --> 01:06:13.400
to him and was supposedly searched. Basically strip searched at
1090
01:06:13.440 --> 01:06:19.519
the time because they were fearing more assassination attempts. So
1091
01:06:20.719 --> 01:06:26.000
the next time that the Kanate went further east or
1092
01:06:27.079 --> 01:06:35.440
further west. Yeah, they they destroyed them at at the
1093
01:06:35.480 --> 01:06:39.559
Alamout Castle, and yeah they they stuck around for a
1094
01:06:39.639 --> 01:06:44.440
few more years, but by twelve seventy five the line
1095
01:06:45.440 --> 01:06:51.039
was faltering and it is said to have died by then. However,
1096
01:06:51.400 --> 01:06:54.119
I mean there are legends that like it hung around
1097
01:06:54.519 --> 01:06:57.280
and you know, the Old Man in the Mountain myth
1098
01:06:57.519 --> 01:07:02.079
was there, and you know, so it they were around
1099
01:07:02.559 --> 01:07:06.000
for you know, one hundred and eighty five years basically
1100
01:07:06.360 --> 01:07:10.440
and were incredibly important, and it's just like, you know,
1101
01:07:10.519 --> 01:07:16.559
we have this like fantasy ass medieval Like it's like
1102
01:07:16.639 --> 01:07:20.199
you're playing like an Elder Scrolls game like Skyrim or
1103
01:07:21.599 --> 01:07:24.320
Oblivion or whatever, and you're like, well, gotta go join
1104
01:07:24.360 --> 01:07:27.840
the Brotherhood of Assassins, Like I mean, I guess it's
1105
01:07:27.920 --> 01:07:31.079
kind of like that, and you're just like this was
1106
01:07:31.159 --> 01:07:33.320
a real thing, and it's like, not only was it
1107
01:07:33.400 --> 01:07:40.360
a real thing, they tried they successfully assassinated uh crusaders
1108
01:07:40.960 --> 01:07:48.239
like European crusaders, their own like religious adversary co religionist adversaries,
1109
01:07:48.599 --> 01:07:51.639
and then also tried to like fucking assassinate like the
1110
01:07:51.800 --> 01:07:55.000
con the Great Cohn, who at that time ruled like
1111
01:07:55.159 --> 01:07:57.039
it was in the process of ruling over like the
1112
01:07:57.760 --> 01:08:00.960
largest contiguous land empire and his and it's just like
1113
01:08:01.079 --> 01:08:05.559
these guys were like a real thing and they could
1114
01:08:05.639 --> 01:08:08.159
just be like if you had the money or the connections,
1115
01:08:08.199 --> 01:08:12.400
you could hire these people. And that's just it was
1116
01:08:12.480 --> 01:08:15.400
a state for one hundred and eight Like how how
1117
01:08:15.440 --> 01:08:17.640
does that? How does a state like that function for
1118
01:08:17.840 --> 01:08:20.880
one hundred and eighty five years? It doesn't, like it
1119
01:08:21.000 --> 01:08:27.960
doesn't even in even in the medieval Islamic world, like
1120
01:08:28.039 --> 01:08:30.640
they still had peasants. They still had like you know,
1121
01:08:31.199 --> 01:08:34.640
peasants would pay up uh, and you know, you would
1122
01:08:34.640 --> 01:08:37.479
be ostensibly protected you you know, it's it's not the
1123
01:08:37.600 --> 01:08:40.239
exact same, it doesn't look the exact same, but it's
1124
01:08:40.279 --> 01:08:43.159
a similar system. Like that's pretty much how it was
1125
01:08:43.399 --> 01:08:47.359
all over Afro Eurasia at that point to one degree
1126
01:08:47.439 --> 01:08:50.399
or another, in the places that weren't still fairly tribal,
1127
01:08:50.479 --> 01:08:55.039
but like this was a state that was there, like
1128
01:08:55.119 --> 01:08:57.279
and it wasn't just like it was in Syria and
1129
01:08:57.640 --> 01:09:02.239
Iran and like you know, medieval maybe medieval Iron is
1130
01:09:02.560 --> 01:09:05.239
an incredibly important place, like that's very near Bagdad, and
1131
01:09:05.279 --> 01:09:07.199
it's just like, yeah, they're there, who can who cares?
1132
01:09:07.560 --> 01:09:09.239
Yeah, I mean, I guess it's just a really good
1133
01:09:09.359 --> 01:09:14.000
lesson and how medieval qualities are just super different to
1134
01:09:14.119 --> 01:09:14.439
our own.
1135
01:09:14.760 --> 01:09:17.359
I guess, like you can have these states within states
1136
01:09:17.399 --> 01:09:21.479
in a way that you no longer really can.
1137
01:09:21.680 --> 01:09:25.800
There's this there is this possibility because of how decentralization
1138
01:09:25.960 --> 01:09:28.359
works in the fact that we don't have a functioning
1139
01:09:28.479 --> 01:09:31.000
state system per se. So if you could just like
1140
01:09:31.119 --> 01:09:34.039
get hold of enough land at a castle, then I mean,
1141
01:09:34.079 --> 01:09:38.159
I guess you're in business, right, Like, it's this world
1142
01:09:38.239 --> 01:09:40.279
of possibility that we just don't have the.
1143
01:09:42.000 --> 01:09:42.600
We must.
1144
01:09:44.199 --> 01:09:49.399
You're in business until uh really not until you make
1145
01:09:49.560 --> 01:09:53.159
the mistake of dealing with one of the cons and
1146
01:09:53.239 --> 01:09:54.640
it's not one of the and it's not one of
1147
01:09:54.680 --> 01:09:58.199
the lesser ones either. You get the whole You got
1148
01:09:58.239 --> 01:10:01.399
the whole fucking deal. Like in he was like, uh, oh,
1149
01:10:01.640 --> 01:10:03.960
you guys are going to try and kill me. That's cool. Well,
1150
01:10:05.399 --> 01:10:07.840
you know, you know we have an army, right and
1151
01:10:07.920 --> 01:10:09.920
they got horses and they can go far, and they
1152
01:10:09.960 --> 01:10:16.319
were like, maybe we didn't think about anyway. Yeah he he,
1153
01:10:16.600 --> 01:10:19.680
he tried it. And I should note it wasn't just
1154
01:10:19.800 --> 01:10:22.720
the assassins. He tried to wipe out all the Mizaries
1155
01:10:22.800 --> 01:10:25.439
because he just kind of uh as as far as
1156
01:10:25.479 --> 01:10:27.079
I can tell, you just kind of lumped them all together.
1157
01:10:27.239 --> 01:10:40.359
But yeah, he decimated. Yeah yeah, and then they died.
1158
01:10:40.439 --> 01:10:43.000
And now they're just uh like something like.
1159
01:10:45.000 --> 01:10:48.880
You know, now they're just heart forever, you know.
1160
01:10:50.359 --> 01:10:53.000
Now they're just the basis for like you know, Rozell
1161
01:10:53.159 --> 01:10:57.720
ghoul In uh in fucking Batman and and part of
1162
01:10:57.760 --> 01:11:00.399
the Assassin's Creed games and you're just like, oh yeah
1163
01:11:00.479 --> 01:11:02.920
that thing. It's like, well yeah, but they were also
1164
01:11:03.079 --> 01:11:07.479
real people, like you know, and I mean, uh, the
1165
01:11:07.920 --> 01:11:11.079
Nassaari line still six around today. As I said, uh,
1166
01:11:11.640 --> 01:11:13.960
you can you can look at a picture of the
1167
01:11:14.000 --> 01:11:18.000
fifth Aga Khan. He just it's a normal looking guy
1168
01:11:18.159 --> 01:11:21.600
who I believe. Uh oh, there's one thing.
1169
01:11:21.600 --> 01:11:24.119
That cons are good at. It's rolling through town and
1170
01:11:24.239 --> 01:11:27.840
clearing everything out. Yeah right, you know they just comment
1171
01:11:27.920 --> 01:11:29.960
and they just fucking plow it. It's a they're a
1172
01:11:30.000 --> 01:11:34.680
blunt instrument. Yeah, you know, it's like you know, whereas
1173
01:11:34.760 --> 01:11:36.600
the assassins very specifically are.
1174
01:11:38.159 --> 01:11:44.439
Yeah, like a refined one. So yeah, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's.
1175
01:11:47.199 --> 01:11:50.800
You know, assassination has a long and uh and I
1176
01:11:50.840 --> 01:11:53.840
would say rich history and I mean in the Middle
1177
01:11:53.880 --> 01:11:56.920
Ages you got stuff like this. You had and before this,
1178
01:11:57.199 --> 01:11:59.399
as I said, you had the sakari I like you know,
1179
01:11:59.520 --> 01:12:08.279
you just have when when the world hasn't been homogenized
1180
01:12:08.640 --> 01:12:13.680
to certain systems, fully homogenized to certain systems, and like
1181
01:12:13.840 --> 01:12:19.359
you you have like these piecemeal land arrangements based on
1182
01:12:19.520 --> 01:12:24.119
you know, these kind of haphazard structures you can there
1183
01:12:24.239 --> 01:12:28.000
there there are avenues for very uh you know, for
1184
01:12:28.159 --> 01:12:31.159
for like for for these groups too to come in
1185
01:12:31.239 --> 01:12:33.000
and do this, and you can so you can have
1186
01:12:33.079 --> 01:12:35.560
the Order of Assassins taking over a few castles and
1187
01:12:35.640 --> 01:12:38.600
ruling some territory. You can have the Teutonic Knights who
1188
01:12:38.640 --> 01:12:42.479
were created like as a crusader, uh, you know, to
1189
01:12:42.680 --> 01:12:45.439
to back up the crusaders. And they were just like, yeah,
1190
01:12:45.520 --> 01:12:49.359
but what if we went and took over Lithuanian Poland
1191
01:12:49.520 --> 01:12:51.880
for a while. That would be fun, right, And everyone
1192
01:12:52.039 --> 01:12:58.279
was like, no, okay, well we're going to do it anyway.
1193
01:12:58.399 --> 01:13:02.119
And then like it's so like you you have these
1194
01:13:02.199 --> 01:13:09.159
avenues and and uh, weird offshoot states shoot up to
1195
01:13:09.279 --> 01:13:12.760
fill in those gaps, and it's uh, you know, it's
1196
01:13:12.800 --> 01:13:14.479
kind of what's fun about the Middle Ages because you
1197
01:13:14.600 --> 01:13:18.520
can't have this international order of assassins that's just hanging
1198
01:13:18.560 --> 01:13:21.560
around and doing the bidding of you know, like the
1199
01:13:21.640 --> 01:13:25.600
King of England and and you know their their local eyemam,
1200
01:13:25.680 --> 01:13:29.960
and you're just like sure, sure, why not? You know what,
1201
01:13:30.640 --> 01:13:35.600
there's your interconnected world there. It is like Rich of
1202
01:13:35.680 --> 01:13:39.520
the Line. Art's like, yo, man, do you guys want
1203
01:13:39.560 --> 01:13:43.479
to kill this? Like you you have other people who
1204
01:13:43.560 --> 01:13:45.960
could do this, like and you're just like, nope, got
1205
01:13:46.079 --> 01:13:48.720
to call the best. Sorry, can't can't be, can't be
1206
01:13:48.800 --> 01:13:50.800
bringing in any of these English punks.
1207
01:13:50.560 --> 01:13:53.720
To do it. Yeah, you know this way, you know,
1208
01:13:55.039 --> 01:13:57.920
hundreds of years later people could act like you didn't
1209
01:13:57.960 --> 01:13:59.880
do it because.
1210
01:14:01.439 --> 01:14:04.119
Don't get me started. I'm actually do you know, I'm
1211
01:14:04.119 --> 01:14:07.399
gonna stop right here. I'm not. This is not Nora
1212
01:14:07.560 --> 01:14:10.159
talks trash about her colleagues all the air hours.
1213
01:14:10.520 --> 01:14:16.199
No no, no, no, no, yeah, folks, that's you know,
1214
01:14:16.520 --> 01:14:20.920
that's medieval assassinations. There are, of course many more than this.
1215
01:14:21.279 --> 01:14:23.079
We didn't get to all of them. We just kind
1216
01:14:23.119 --> 01:14:25.560
of wanted to get a few points and to talk
1217
01:14:25.600 --> 01:14:33.159
about the assassins because they are interesting and fun. But yeah,
1218
01:14:33.920 --> 01:14:37.279
I think that is going to about do it for
1219
01:14:37.439 --> 01:14:40.279
us today. I don't know what'll be back next with
1220
01:14:40.560 --> 01:14:44.560
next week, but it will be something. But yeah, Eleanor
1221
01:14:44.640 --> 01:14:46.800
in the meantime, what do you got going on? Yeah?
1222
01:14:46.960 --> 01:14:49.560
My major thing, if you want some nonsense for me,
1223
01:14:49.920 --> 01:14:55.520
is aforementioned article over my personal Patreon that one's cheap
1224
01:14:57.119 --> 01:15:00.079
from a quid a month. Helps me keep the the
1225
01:15:00.199 --> 01:15:02.199
lights on over here. But that's what I got going on.
1226
01:15:02.560 --> 01:15:05.119
I've had one of those months last this month where
1227
01:15:05.800 --> 01:15:09.159
it's basically like I've done a bunch of stuff that's
1228
01:15:09.159 --> 01:15:12.079
gonna come out next month, so you know, like I
1229
01:15:12.159 --> 01:15:14.840
think that that's gonna kind of start rolling soon.
1230
01:15:14.920 --> 01:15:15.359
So yeah.
1231
01:15:15.600 --> 01:15:18.800
Otherwise, I'm on the socials at Going Medieval. You can
1232
01:15:18.880 --> 01:15:21.680
check my stuff out there, but yeah, you know, I'm
1233
01:15:21.720 --> 01:15:23.479
mostly just hanging here. What can I say?
1234
01:15:24.359 --> 01:15:24.640
This is?
1235
01:15:24.840 --> 01:15:25.960
This is my work, you know?
1236
01:15:26.800 --> 01:15:31.159
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, you can find me Lucas Amazing on
1237
01:15:31.239 --> 01:15:35.720
the socials, probably locked down on Twitter.
1238
01:15:35.760 --> 01:15:38.800
Who's to say, oh, wait, shit, I guess if you
1239
01:15:38.880 --> 01:15:41.079
live in Hartleypool in the UK, I'll be there on
1240
01:15:41.199 --> 01:15:43.680
Friday if you want to come to the Pool Folk Festival.
1241
01:15:43.720 --> 01:15:45.000
I guess that's something I could say.
1242
01:15:45.119 --> 01:15:49.640
Yeah, if you're in Hartleypool. Yeah, and uh yeah, I
1243
01:15:49.720 --> 01:15:51.760
will not be. I will sadly not be at the
1244
01:15:51.800 --> 01:15:55.079
Hartleypool Folk Festival. I will be in spirit, of course,
1245
01:15:55.159 --> 01:15:58.319
but yeah, you find I'll show people's history of the
1246
01:15:58.359 --> 01:16:00.600
Old Republic if you would like to hear me yap
1247
01:16:00.800 --> 01:16:06.399
about Star Wars. Anyway, thank you very much for listening
1248
01:16:06.800 --> 01:16:07.840
and we'll see you next time.
1249
01:16:08.640 --> 01:16:08.960
Bye.
1250
01:16:12.640 --> 01:16:13.960
Where did that fucking stop button go?
1251
01:16:14.079 --> 01:16:14.439
There? It is