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[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome back to unscripted two point out with your girl Jennifer, and as a therapist and a connection strategist, I spend a lot of time talking about containers we build in our own lives, our boundaries in our mindsets, and also our stories, but today we are looking at the most literal containerable, our four walls we call home.
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[SPEAKER_01]: My guest today is Kim Costa.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Kim is a nationally recognized realtor, ranked in the top percent, actually the top 5 percent in Atlanta,
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[SPEAKER_01]: where she showcases the incredible stories of home and lifestyle and transformation.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But Kim is doing so much more, deeper work than that, just than selling houses.
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[SPEAKER_01]: She is a creator of the wheelhouse method and the author of the upcoming book, live in your wheelhouse.
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[SPEAKER_01]: and empowering guide to staying, going, or Reno.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So let's talk to her about how she teaches us how to use our homes, not just as assets, but as launch pets, for the purpose, peace, and our choose potential.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Kim, I am so thrilled to have you here to help us fall the thread back to our authentic spaces.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So welcome to the show.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, excited to be here.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I am so excited to have you on.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I read your book and I have to say it was actually just what I needed.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I think sometimes also as a therapist and a person that's actually living a life that in self-discovery, we're always trying to figure things out, especially when it comes to the most important place in our lives is our home where the environment we build.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I really appreciate you coming into this conversation.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So let's jump right in.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So, as a therapist myself, you talk about the window of tolerance.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I talk about the window of tolerance in therapy.
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[SPEAKER_01]: How does a misaligned home?
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[SPEAKER_01]: clutter or poor layout actually attribute to the nervous system.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, if you're always frustrated about something, you know, it could be your laundry rooms on the wrong floor.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It could be there's a barking dog mixed door.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It could be you have your fifth child coming and you have three bedrooms.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's a problem.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so, you know, it's all about the frustration and the pain
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[SPEAKER_00]: to the point where it's a breaking point and then it's forcing a move or a remodel.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so you know I have so there's I think differentiation between you know this internal anxiety which we will get sometimes in our home or just house anxiety.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I think what you're describing right now is a sense of house anxiety versus internal part.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Can you just share with my audience give examples of maybe how the two are different?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, there is sometimes some internal anxiety because my book is all about your home being a reflection of yourself and say you're going through a huge life change.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It could be divorce.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It could be getting married and like, you're next stage of life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're becoming
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[SPEAKER_00]: a different person, really.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So that's an internal change, or maybe that you want an internal change, maybe your midlife mom, or career person that's done everything for everybody else.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And you're like, I have another 30 or so years left.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to do from me now.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So you're actually recognizing your true self and pointing your next stage of life more towards authenticity.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so that's an internal change reflected in an external thing like your home.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So interestingly enough, I think, as I understood it, you had some internal changes in some remiles in terms of just your home, own human experience.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I think, in some ways, that's what led you to actually writing this book, after a lot of changes that you were going through.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Can you share a little bit of about those changes that you were going through, and what led you to writing this book?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Sure.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, 100% led to me writing this book and coming up with this framework.
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[SPEAKER_00]: because I went through a lot of life change from the ages of, say, 45 to 55.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And prior to that, I did go through some changes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, when I graduated college, I got married, started having children.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I made some sacrifices for my family in regards to where I lived.
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[SPEAKER_00]: and my career and things like that, that I kind of abandoned myself and my goals, you know, I've got a masters in human resource development, except for just a few credits because my daughter had to have surgeries when she was born.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Long story, but abandoned that, abandoned the interior design,
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[SPEAKER_00]: certificate that I got and and got stuck being an accountant, which is so not me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I can do numbers great, but I would only want to do them an hour or two a day, not eight hours, five days a week.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I found myself a bit lost in my marriage relationship, in my career, even in my hobbies, and definitely in the houses I was living in.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They were
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[SPEAKER_00]: huge.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They were beautiful.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I loved entertaining in them, but I was not personally aligned with many of the things I was doing in my life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so that led me to make some changes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Really at 50 I changed everything.
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[SPEAKER_00]: My career, I was divorced, effect my home changed, and I was really recognized how I was made.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so my own personal journey from super large homes, a 40-acre farm,
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[SPEAKER_00]: six horses, two dogs, getting picked all the things like, and I'm not a maintenance girl.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a lock and leave travel.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I want to go out and see people person.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm so stuck.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's how I know.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's like it was a 180.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm so much happier.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I have fixed my income.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just, you know, glowing with anticipation of to what the I'm turning 60.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What the next 30 years are going to bring.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm very excited.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I want to spread that with other people.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I think that is absolutely amazing because, you know, I'm, I'm 48 turning 49 and I'm kind of also in this really exploratory phase of my life and I think more and more women need to understand that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: If you're able to pivot and you want to pivot and you're brave enough to pivot, pivot, there's nothing wrong with that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We have, you know, from my age, I mean, people are living well into their 80s.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We have 40 years left to live.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: time and how much amazing all the amazing experiences that we could have at that time period.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I really appreciate you sharing that because it sounds like even with all of the experience that life brought you which would be considered challenging you still said you know what this is not what I meant to be doing and I want to live the life I meant to live.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I love that and I think a lot of my listeners really resonate with that especially pivoting in their career changes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So tell us about the book.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Tell us just I want to know where you came up with the wheelhouse method.
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[SPEAKER_01]: What is it about?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Share all the things.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So my audience can really get appreciate it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So the book is live in your wheelhouse.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's two words.
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[SPEAKER_00]: My parents were both HR directors and so they would always say,
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[SPEAKER_00]: this job is in their wheelhouse.
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[SPEAKER_00]: He's doing great or we had to let her go.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This job was not in her wheelhouse.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So when I was very young, I had this perception of people are made for certain jobs, certain relationships, certain living environments.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So that stuck with me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: When I got to be about 45, I got divorced.
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[SPEAKER_00]: seen after and that started a series of changes because I I first changed my job and got out of a family business and got out a little bit that way and then I got divorced and changed my home.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Then I really was like gosh, I don't know that I'm cut out for this accounting I took a personality test.
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[SPEAKER_00]: and turns out I'm an ENFP, which is extroverted intuitive, feeling perceptive.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I really felt that because I always liked to write.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And the ENFPs of the world are the Charles Dickens, the Mark Twain's, the Sandra Bullocks, the Robin Williams, you know, funny storytelling people.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I was doing accounting, and of a little room.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So that was the beginning of, you know, me thinking, okay, what, what are my proclivities?
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[SPEAKER_00]: What, what would I be good at?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I hired a coach and,
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[SPEAKER_00]: He confirmed that real estate would indeed be a good avenue for me to go down, but also writing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I took a trip to Spain with a group, a cohort that he created of other ENFPs, came up for the idea for the book in Ronda Spain, what a magical place.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Truly, truly many stories about that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And by the time I was flying home when I landed in Paris, I had the version of the framework for the book.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like I had snapped a picture as I was landing,
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[SPEAKER_00]: What is that circle?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And what are those M's in the middle of it?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And there were three M's at that point.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that picture popped up the other day that was 2018, November 2018.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I became a realtor and started working on that concept and just listening to people and their problems in the different eight different areas and developed a framework around it that people could read or take a workshop and figure it out for themselves.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then go to a local expert, whether it's interior
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[SPEAKER_00]: or a sale real estate agent and fix their home.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So this is a good segue.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So my question to specifically in the real house assessment, which you said there's eight areas, but which area do people sleep on the most?
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[SPEAKER_01]: And is there a specific spoke that acts as the linchpin to a total transformation?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I would say there are two or three, and they are, well, because I did just get off the phone with a new client 86 years old, that's a huge life change.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We might be making plans to go to an assisted living type thing with family.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so what I find is health, so typically declining health, like if it is, you know, wonderful health, like having babies and all that kind of thing, or like I want a swimming pool, so I can swim laps, that's fantastic.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But typically, the big decisions are made with declining health, change in the family like new babies getting married or getting divorced or unfortunately the passing of a partner and the other one I think would be career I just got a promotion I need to move to Seattle we got to move and maybe a nice thing would be that promotion and they get a big raise and they're you know, so financial comes into it as well.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Those four things I see the most, you know, it's so interesting that you say that because as I said earlier when we started this this really resonating with me, the book with your book because a lot of the things that you are talking about specifically what we were just talking about these areas.
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[SPEAKER_01]: actually, you know, was I was actually doing that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I'll give you an example, COVID hits, I was living in a house and the house was sold.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And at that point, you know, I'm divorced.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I have my son and it's just above us, but for a long time, you know, we were isolated, you know, it's just my son and I.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And so I realized that for my mental health, because part of it is health and wellness, like your mental health, like,
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[SPEAKER_01]: and you talk about that type.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You talk about connection and family and friends and is a, you know, can you go outside all of those things?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Is there light in the home?
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[SPEAKER_00]: All those things?
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[SPEAKER_01]: So a lot of the things that you talk about in your book, I was actually looking at and with those checkboxes, I said, I need to, I live in a high rise now.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Now, I, on the 15th floor by the time I get to my car, my garage, I've said hi to six people.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And as a woman that lives on her own, that's single with her son and, you know, we co-parent, it's really important for me to have that connection.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You know, learning is that is so important, that connection, that was one of the major reasons that I moved here.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I walk across the street and go to the local, like I call, you know, my cheers, you know, where I hold there and I see all of my neighbors.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And it's nice to be able to step outside of my career mode, mom mode, and be in my community.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So community was very, very important.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It is so important and there are so many studies now how we in America, we are declining in our sense of happiness because we've lost some of that connection.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Here's an interesting thing, just relating to homes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I am seeing a surge of multifamily generational homes here in my area because there's land in there's room.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's like everyone's thinking,
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[SPEAKER_00]: we don't want to be so far away from our family.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It would be okay if Grandma came and lived with us because we have a space for her, we'll have separation.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But then she can watch the kids while I go do this or that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And people are figuring out that there's a place for separation and togetherness.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And multi-generational homes are proving to be a source of happiness for people again.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So another connection that I made to your book chapter 12,
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[SPEAKER_01]: talking about like there you also talk about blocks.
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[SPEAKER_01]: What blocks you?
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[SPEAKER_01]: What are some of the barriers?
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[SPEAKER_01]: I think you call it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: What are some of the barriers that you you find yourself in when really trying to develop this environment of living that you just really want to be and want to live your best life?
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[SPEAKER_01]: So for me, one of the things I learned was, you know, invalidation.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You had used one of those markers in validation.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And interestingly enough, I talk about self-discovery and I talk about all the things that I'm doing part of this podcast is about that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Invalidation.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So growing up, when you're told all the time that your decisions or your thoughts or maybe just any type of expression that you have is not right.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You start to become very confused about what it is that you want.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And so I recognized that this is a big deal too, by the way, because I never really bought any, I never really planted myself or developed and I didn't understand why.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I said, well, why do I have this anxiety attached to it?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Why?
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[SPEAKER_01]: And then when I read that, I was like, that was like an aha moment for me.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I said, well, I don't know why didn't put that together.
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[SPEAKER_01]: the validating piece is, it's subconscious or unconscious.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You would know better than me.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly, so as I'm always helping people find their voice, but in that, you kind of helped me find mine because I said, wow.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So now I'm kind of separating that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Like that does not have to exist for me, and I know what I want.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So it was very interesting, the barriers, and I think that's a really important piece, like knowing, understanding that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, and you know what's funny is I didn't add that chapter and the epilogue or afterward until last year.
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[SPEAKER_00]: because I was exposed to just knowledge of codependency and someone very close to me going through a recovery program where housing was a real issue.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And it wasn't, it was that those, those were barriers to self, codependency, invalidation, like what are my thoughts and what are other people's do I even know myself, addiction, trauma,
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[SPEAKER_00]: all the things that can interfere with like I someone may walk into a home and if it's on like say your condo was on the ground floor and you had had trauma in your past you wouldn't know why you were uncomfortable with like having access directly out on the on the main on the and then you would feel just a little lighter the the higher you went up in the building like no one can get in the store and you may not even recognize that so that is so interesting that you say that i'm getting goosebumps.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Because when I'm you know, I've had and this is part of the reason why I've put this platform together is really because of the experiences that I had growing up and I had a family trauma, excuse me, a family tragedy that we experienced in 2021 and this was just my road map to conversations and connections and that's I am.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And the interesting thing is is that I live so this I live in a higher eyes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: There's 15 floors, and then that's the penthouse underneath me above me, excuse me.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I remembered my first year living here, I've been here six years.
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[SPEAKER_01]: One of the things I would always say was I feel so safe up here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Good.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I just got chills.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I literally just got chills.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I feel so safe up here.
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[SPEAKER_01]: This feels amazing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I love it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I love looking out beautiful view.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I am right all of this right now because yeah, it's so
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I just, you know, to all of you that are listening, I mean, this is just things that you don't think about, especially don't your environment.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I really appreciate those connections that I made after reading your book.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you know, and during, you know, when I got divorced, I had a huge home moved out of there and my son was still in high school.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I needed to stay in the district.
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[SPEAKER_00]: but a large townhome behind gates felt pretty safe but it was still a ground floor thing and the ground floor was so dark that it was depressing and I was like going through a huge life change and that was where the living space was.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It was just kind of a depressing space with like a wall that was right outside my back door so no sunlight whatsoever.
16:26.257 --> 16:35.591
[SPEAKER_00]: When I moved from there to this luxury apartment like three stories up in the middle of where I could meet friends for dinner and they were like weddings going down the street.
16:35.611 --> 16:36.973
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, this is a happy place.
16:37.193 --> 16:39.977
[SPEAKER_00]: It was such a great place to reinvent myself.
16:39.998 --> 16:41.099
[SPEAKER_00]: I bought all new furniture.
16:41.119 --> 16:42.862
[SPEAKER_00]: I the people who bought my prior home.
16:43.042 --> 16:44.204
[SPEAKER_00]: I knew they needed some furniture.
16:44.224 --> 16:45.526
[SPEAKER_00]: They loved the furniture that I had.
16:45.546 --> 16:48.070
[SPEAKER_00]: It was very expensive and it was my marital furniture.
16:48.110 --> 16:52.416
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, you know, just give me $5,000 for all that and the China.
16:52.396 --> 16:53.678
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want any of that.
16:53.958 --> 16:55.841
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want any of it.
16:55.861 --> 17:01.067
[SPEAKER_01]: 100% but it's all all that all of that if you would have brought it with you, it's all energy attached to it.
17:01.087 --> 17:03.771
[SPEAKER_00]: It's energy and like those the red and gold chairs.
17:04.111 --> 17:11.121
[SPEAKER_00]: I just needed like fresh and new and pink and I have this beautiful painting here in my office and I call it the divine goddess.
17:11.481 --> 17:16.007
[SPEAKER_00]: And I put it in my bet my master bedroom in this two bedroom luxury apartment.
17:15.987 --> 17:22.775
[SPEAKER_00]: And I would wake up every morning and the sun would rise through my window, and I would sit and look at the divine goddess about that's the future me.
17:23.115 --> 17:24.717
[SPEAKER_00]: And that was what started.
17:24.737 --> 17:29.563
[SPEAKER_00]: It was like a whole change in my environment that I was like was like pressing the pause button.
17:29.603 --> 17:31.825
[SPEAKER_00]: So I could think about where do I want to go from here?
17:31.865 --> 17:33.147
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's where I became a realtor.
17:33.527 --> 17:35.650
[SPEAKER_00]: That's where I took all my tests and changed my life.
17:35.930 --> 17:37.512
[SPEAKER_00]: That's where I met my future husband.
17:37.692 --> 17:39.454
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was like I just needed a fresh start.
17:40.435 --> 17:43.699
[SPEAKER_00]: And
17:43.679 --> 17:58.487
[SPEAKER_01]: thing that I also wanted to talk about was how you reframe going about actually purchasing a home or moving or all of the different, you know, options that one would have, you know, whether we stay run of a move.
17:58.708 --> 17:58.988
[SPEAKER_01]: So
17:58.968 --> 18:06.841
[SPEAKER_01]: one of the things that I found really interesting is that most times we lead with the financial aspects of it, we lean to how much can we afford and granted.
18:06.861 --> 18:09.386
[SPEAKER_01]: That is a big piece of it, right?
18:09.766 --> 18:19.823
[SPEAKER_01]: But the way you switched it, I think that it gives people hope to be able to find and connect to where they want to live because you're looking at it from a different angle.
18:19.903 --> 18:22.748
[SPEAKER_01]: You're not looking at it first with how much money.
18:22.728 --> 18:23.930
[SPEAKER_01]: can you put down on this home?
18:24.291 --> 18:26.294
[SPEAKER_01]: Can you share with us the reframe?
18:26.314 --> 18:31.442
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, what do you think is most important to look at before we look at the cost of things?
18:32.203 --> 18:36.350
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I think is what function does your home, what functions there are many?
18:36.731 --> 18:38.053
[SPEAKER_00]: Does your home need to serve?
18:38.033 --> 18:41.057
[SPEAKER_00]: So you do need to recognize how many bedrooms do I need?
18:41.237 --> 18:43.500
[SPEAKER_00]: Do I need a flex space for an office or two?
18:43.720 --> 18:44.601
[SPEAKER_00]: Am I going to have guests?
18:44.661 --> 18:45.782
[SPEAKER_00]: Is my family going to change?
18:45.802 --> 18:49.707
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I have mom or dad come live with me anytime soon.
18:50.188 --> 18:50.588
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a girl.
18:50.628 --> 18:52.330
[SPEAKER_00]: Do I have kids leaving for college?
18:52.350 --> 18:53.171
[SPEAKER_00]: Do I want a dog?
18:53.492 --> 18:55.334
[SPEAKER_00]: So these are all the things you have to think about.
18:55.694 --> 19:00.480
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not just I personally and my husband could afford a much more expensive home.
19:00.460 --> 19:05.890
[SPEAKER_00]: However, I don't need one, and it's a lovely cottage, it's a lock and leave.
19:06.230 --> 19:10.478
[SPEAKER_00]: So although you could ask what can you afford, that's not the question.
19:10.538 --> 19:12.321
[SPEAKER_00]: The question is what do you need?
19:12.702 --> 19:13.844
[SPEAKER_00]: What's going to make you happy?
19:14.045 --> 19:20.376
[SPEAKER_00]: You could afford 10 acres in a 10,000 square foot house, but are you going to be stuck maintaining that house when you really don't care?
19:20.356 --> 19:35.981
[SPEAKER_00]: about the eight extra rooms you don't need and could you then take that money and travel or get a small beach cottage or something else that would make you happier than just living up to the expectations of this is a bushy home and a bushy's wonderful.
19:36.061 --> 19:38.044
[SPEAKER_00]: I have many bushy friends and their fabulous.
19:38.142 --> 19:38.543
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
19:38.563 --> 19:40.307
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think I love a nice thing.
19:40.828 --> 19:43.054
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I'm not putting down large expensive homes.
19:43.114 --> 19:48.306
[SPEAKER_00]: I've had many of them while I had raising children and that served its purpose.
19:48.346 --> 19:49.649
[SPEAKER_00]: But now it's like, what about me?
19:49.729 --> 19:51.734
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't want to maintain all that.
19:51.754 --> 19:52.456
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to travel.
19:52.516 --> 19:53.258
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to meet people.
19:53.358 --> 19:54.360
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to play golf.
19:54.421 --> 19:55.864
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to do yoga.
19:55.844 --> 19:57.186
[SPEAKER_00]: And I want to welcome the beach.
19:57.206 --> 20:00.891
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think those things to be honest with you are equally as important.
20:01.072 --> 20:08.462
[SPEAKER_01]: And even and for people that even have children, we, you know, I, I know some families that have had the really, really big home.
20:08.843 --> 20:13.990
[SPEAKER_01]: And then it downsize and it's still a beautiful home, but just as you're saying, the maintenance of it.
20:14.471 --> 20:18.036
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just sometimes it just becomes bigger than we expected.
20:18.457 --> 20:23.404
[SPEAKER_01]: And that takes so much of our life away where we could be enjoying our life versus really
20:23.384 --> 20:25.127
[SPEAKER_01]: just living for our home.
20:25.228 --> 20:29.476
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that, you know, even growing up, we lived in a relatively big house.
20:29.556 --> 20:35.127
[SPEAKER_01]: And I just remember all the time that, you know, when Mom was a career woman, and she had her own business, and she was larger than life.
20:35.488 --> 20:41.680
[SPEAKER_01]: But when it got to coming home, it just felt like she was always so unhappy, maintainable.
20:41.660 --> 20:47.209
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and so and that's also part of the reason why I thought like well, I don't want to feel like that.
20:47.230 --> 20:50.315
[SPEAKER_01]: I never like that and that energy stuck with me.
20:50.736 --> 20:58.048
[SPEAKER_01]: So again, I think that brings up a good point like what are we looking at that that really defines our happiness over time.
20:58.028 --> 21:01.012
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, something there with your mom might have been.
21:01.052 --> 21:11.747
[SPEAKER_00]: She goes around the circle, which are, if I may save the categories, health, finance, spirituality, friends and family, entertainment, romance, career and environment.
21:12.088 --> 21:13.570
[SPEAKER_00]: So her career was thriving.
21:13.891 --> 21:15.072
[SPEAKER_00]: Her family was thriving.
21:15.252 --> 21:22.703
[SPEAKER_00]: Her environment seemed to be thriving, except maybe she wasn't having enough fun, because maybe she had to come home and maintain the house and
21:22.683 --> 21:36.824
[SPEAKER_00]: go to the grocery and call the repairman and whatever else she had to do and like she wanted to go for a walk or she wanted to take a class or bring you guys to a festival and do something fun but she may not have had the time to do that.
21:38.486 --> 21:42.953
[SPEAKER_00]: So she may have scored her fun and entertainment area at a two.
21:42.933 --> 21:44.715
[SPEAKER_00]: which is not good for happiness.
21:44.935 --> 21:51.543
[SPEAKER_00]: So this is a system to rate each area of your current life and she may have rated that area lower.
21:51.563 --> 21:53.405
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, maybe you guys didn't have to move.
21:53.746 --> 22:02.296
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe she could have called someone to help maintain some of these things and maybe some a little bit of money may have fixed that problem for her and freed up her time.
22:02.356 --> 22:11.927
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's just once you see what you've graded things on paper, you cannot unsee it and it kind of forces you to make a small change
22:11.907 --> 22:14.971
[SPEAKER_00]: And that is where the accountant in you comes out.
22:14.991 --> 22:16.652
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, totally.
22:16.853 --> 22:20.817
[SPEAKER_00]: It's no longer both departments, profit and loss.
22:21.017 --> 22:24.942
[SPEAKER_00]: I look at are you in the red or the black in each of these quadrants in your home.
22:25.282 --> 22:31.029
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm bringing my accounting skills to like, there's your, what is your profit and loss statement?
22:31.069 --> 22:33.552
[SPEAKER_00]: Look like in each of these areas are you in the red?
22:33.572 --> 22:34.573
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you in the black?
22:34.553 --> 22:38.839
[SPEAKER_01]: So you, I mean, what a transferable skill to add to this book.
22:38.859 --> 22:44.608
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't even realize that until like a couple of months ago, like I'm still doing it, it's just with humans, humans are the assets.
22:44.848 --> 22:45.730
[SPEAKER_01]: But it's for fun.
22:45.810 --> 22:52.039
[SPEAKER_01]: You're doing it the way you talk your numbers and you apply them, the way you wanted to and you created.
22:52.019 --> 22:53.221
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, that's the way I think.
22:53.501 --> 22:56.346
[SPEAKER_00]: I think in terms of I'm very empathetic and intuitive.
22:56.706 --> 22:57.988
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that is how I think.
22:58.109 --> 22:59.270
[SPEAKER_00]: I can do numbers.
22:59.371 --> 23:01.053
[SPEAKER_00]: Still, I still love to crunch some numbers.
23:01.113 --> 23:01.834
[SPEAKER_00]: It's fascinating.
23:02.015 --> 23:03.277
[SPEAKER_00]: But then I want to go talk to people.
23:03.657 --> 23:05.600
[SPEAKER_00]: So the numbers are to solve a problem.
23:05.740 --> 23:06.321
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
23:06.341 --> 23:09.947
[SPEAKER_01]: So I mean, what else do you want people to know about this book?
23:10.047 --> 23:11.049
[SPEAKER_01]: Tell us a little bit more.
23:11.269 --> 23:11.850
[UNKNOWN]: Yeah.
23:11.830 --> 23:13.293
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I mean, it's available everywhere.
23:13.774 --> 23:26.036
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you do buy the book and go to my website, you can get a free masterclass that I've prepared just, you know, so you can see my face besides the this wonderful podcast that just kind of gives an overview.
23:26.357 --> 23:33.089
[SPEAKER_00]: And then also, I'll be running workshops very soon if you want to run through the process with some guidance and with some other people.
23:33.329 --> 23:34.311
[SPEAKER_00]: That's going to be really fun.
23:34.291 --> 23:35.733
[SPEAKER_01]: And where can everybody find you?
23:35.873 --> 23:42.442
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, of course, I will share all this on my show notes and on my social media, but tell people where they can find you and what you're doing next.
23:43.023 --> 23:43.384
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, good.
23:43.424 --> 23:45.847
[SPEAKER_00]: So lifestyle foundations is my website.
23:46.268 --> 23:49.292
[SPEAKER_00]: And so you'll have information about my book and the bonuses there.
23:49.472 --> 23:52.677
[SPEAKER_00]: How to reach me, you know, regarding workshops and things like that.
23:52.997 --> 23:57.704
[SPEAKER_00]: And then on the socials, everywhere I am Kim E. Costa.
23:58.064 --> 24:01.609
[SPEAKER_00]: So middle initial E. And so Kim E. Costa, I'm on everything.
24:01.689 --> 24:02.931
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm about to get on TikTok.
24:02.911 --> 24:06.337
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm on it, but I haven't been prolific, but I'll be on there soon.
24:06.857 --> 24:07.539
[SPEAKER_01]: Good luck with that.
24:07.699 --> 24:11.765
[SPEAKER_01]: I am on its board of, and it's just, it's hard to be everywhere.
24:11.826 --> 24:13.048
[SPEAKER_01]: Hard, it's hard to be everywhere.
24:13.088 --> 24:18.817
[SPEAKER_01]: What you're doing your thing, and I'm so glad to have connected with you and had this great conversation.
24:18.857 --> 24:23.805
[SPEAKER_01]: And again, you really also really enlightened a lot of the things that
24:23.785 --> 24:34.382
[SPEAKER_01]: I was challenged with when it came to even, you know, planting roots, and for me, I really had an aha moment with your book and telling you, everybody, go pick up this book.
24:35.003 --> 24:39.430
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not just a book about, you know, where to purchase or how to get the best home.
24:39.510 --> 24:45.540
[SPEAKER_01]: It's about the internal pieces of how the free, these containers that are so important, which is the environment you live in.
24:45.520 --> 24:49.626
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm really excited for people to read it.
24:49.646 --> 24:52.791
[SPEAKER_01]: But before we end, I have a really great fun way to end.
24:53.031 --> 24:59.541
[SPEAKER_01]: I like to ask all of my guests five questions, five rapid fire questions that Kim does not know about.
24:59.581 --> 25:03.927
[SPEAKER_01]: So we are going to begin a question number one.
25:04.147 --> 25:07.933
[SPEAKER_01]: What is one luxury home feature that you think is actually a barrier?
25:07.913 --> 25:09.555
[SPEAKER_01]: to the real human connection.
25:09.855 --> 25:12.278
[SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, I think it's the open floor plan.
25:12.518 --> 25:17.223
[SPEAKER_00]: Although it seems like it would be connecting everybody, I am part introvert.
25:17.483 --> 25:19.906
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I think everyone also needs their space.
25:20.306 --> 25:35.743
[SPEAKER_00]: And so if you have a huge open concept home, but you have some introverted traits, do you have a space in the home to retreat to and then come back out being settled, your nervous system settled, and you could actually enjoy that together time with everybody else.
25:35.723 --> 25:37.386
[SPEAKER_01]: That is so interesting.
25:37.406 --> 25:38.428
[SPEAKER_00]: How do I intuit it, right?
25:38.488 --> 25:41.895
[SPEAKER_00]: You would think an open floor plan would be conducive to being together.
25:41.935 --> 25:44.640
[SPEAKER_00]: But you really just want to get away from each other because it's so loud.
25:44.700 --> 25:45.762
[SPEAKER_01]: That's wonderful.
25:45.802 --> 25:46.123
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
25:46.804 --> 25:47.506
[SPEAKER_01]: Uh, number two.
25:47.846 --> 25:52.956
[SPEAKER_01]: What is the one room in the house that never lies about how a family is actually doing?
25:52.936 --> 25:56.602
[SPEAKER_00]: thinking, thinking, well, it's people's bedrooms because that's their personal space.
25:56.802 --> 25:58.325
[SPEAKER_00]: I would mostly see the kitchen.
25:58.365 --> 25:59.767
[SPEAKER_00]: Are they gathering in the kitchen?
25:59.827 --> 26:02.632
[SPEAKER_00]: Because that's, again, that's the main gathering space.
26:02.652 --> 26:03.373
[SPEAKER_00]: Is it messy?
26:03.413 --> 26:05.337
[SPEAKER_00]: Are there bills laying around?
26:06.158 --> 26:06.899
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's interesting.
26:07.019 --> 26:09.223
[SPEAKER_01]: One of the things that I think about is the mud room.
26:09.203 --> 26:14.248
[SPEAKER_01]: Because here's why because you can tell whether there's it's an active family.
26:14.288 --> 26:15.029
[SPEAKER_01]: We're kind of things.
26:15.069 --> 26:22.276
[SPEAKER_01]: They're into if they have animals If they have like all the things get thrown in there when they get home So for me what I wrote this question.
26:22.296 --> 26:29.183
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like if I were to walk through that little space I would understand in a heartbeat what a family was going through.
26:29.203 --> 26:31.906
[SPEAKER_01]: There are looks like I don't know just in the personalities.
26:32.086 --> 26:34.609
[SPEAKER_00]: Is it highly organized or are things through?
26:35.069 --> 26:38.873
[SPEAKER_00]: Neither one is better than the other, but it just tells you how people like to live
26:38.853 --> 26:39.214
[SPEAKER_01]: 100%.
26:39.334 --> 26:40.616
[SPEAKER_01]: So there's and love.
26:40.716 --> 26:41.618
[SPEAKER_01]: No judgment here.
26:41.758 --> 26:42.560
[SPEAKER_00]: No judgment.
26:42.580 --> 26:43.341
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a little above.
26:44.343 --> 26:44.804
[SPEAKER_01]: Me too.
26:44.864 --> 26:48.991
[SPEAKER_01]: If we've got a hundred like four pairs of muddy cleats, that's saying we've got an active family.
26:49.091 --> 26:49.872
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's right.
26:50.313 --> 26:50.854
[SPEAKER_01]: Interesting.
26:51.275 --> 26:53.719
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you had to take them off and then we're in up to the bath, right?
26:53.759 --> 26:54.380
[SPEAKER_00]: Or the showers.
26:54.581 --> 26:56.504
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, running through the house with the cleats.
26:56.805 --> 26:57.366
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
26:57.907 --> 26:58.488
[SPEAKER_01]: Number three.
26:58.748 --> 27:03.797
[SPEAKER_01]: In three words or less, how do you know instinctively when it's time to leave a space?
27:03.777 --> 27:10.824
[SPEAKER_00]: feeling discomfort, and there's more to that specifically, but it's the discomfort you're feeling, whether it's named or unnamed.
27:11.084 --> 27:11.965
[SPEAKER_00]: That's so important.
27:12.065 --> 27:16.349
[SPEAKER_01]: And again, that can have so many different variables, but that's so true.
27:16.529 --> 27:20.653
[SPEAKER_01]: What was one sacred spot in your childhood home where you felt the most seen?
27:21.333 --> 27:22.434
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, that's a great question.
27:22.675 --> 27:30.662
[SPEAKER_00]: Back when I was very young, I grew up in Pennsylvania, Doyle's Town Pennsylvania, beautiful little area in Bucks County near the omission all that.
27:30.642 --> 27:31.343
[SPEAKER_00]: very sweet.
27:31.684 --> 27:45.223
[SPEAKER_00]: And on my front of my house, I had a little onclave with a church pew, and then my mom's rose garden was behind a picket fence in that little alcove, and I would just sit there, and I would watch the geese migrate sometimes.
27:45.544 --> 27:56.700
[SPEAKER_00]: And I would watch the, I was, I could sit up there in the rain, and my, sometimes my dad and I, the lightning would strike, and we'd count seconds till the thunder came, and we could see if the storm was coming or going.
27:56.680 --> 27:58.147
[SPEAKER_00]: what a beautiful memory.
27:58.448 --> 28:03.450
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I still must my favorite rose is still the piece throws because they my mom had that there.
28:03.802 --> 28:04.663
[SPEAKER_00]: how beautiful.
28:06.004 --> 28:07.306
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so the last question.
28:07.546 --> 28:13.293
[SPEAKER_01]: If your current home was a launchpad for your big next mission, where is this sending unix?
28:13.673 --> 28:28.510
[SPEAKER_00]: It's going to be travel and meeting new people that I can bring this framework to in a more personal way, whether it be speaking, a summit, a retreat, or a workshop, where I'm just really going to roll up my sleeves with actual people.
28:28.490 --> 28:39.105
[SPEAKER_00]: not just my own clients locally because that involves contracts and negotiations and all the things that I can do and I'm good at but I love the interaction with people and hearing their stories.
28:39.286 --> 28:41.509
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think travel too is a huge part.
28:41.529 --> 28:44.393
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that's the thing of it all.
28:44.533 --> 28:50.882
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that what we have this information that we are now sharing globally, right?
28:51.223 --> 28:57.552
[SPEAKER_01]: It's what you do and giving back and
28:57.532 --> 29:03.021
[SPEAKER_01]: that's part of how we actually feel fulfilled is what we give to others and that's very much.
29:03.542 --> 29:03.842
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
29:04.083 --> 29:05.645
[SPEAKER_01]: Chapter three as a matter of fact.
29:05.966 --> 29:07.629
[SPEAKER_01]: Listen, there's so many chapters.
29:07.649 --> 29:09.792
[SPEAKER_01]: That's why everybody you have to pick this book up.
29:10.413 --> 29:13.178
[SPEAKER_01]: Again, thank you Kim for coming on.
29:13.158 --> 29:22.511
[SPEAKER_01]: to unscripted 2.0 because I think, you know, life is so unscripted and when it is, we tend to have to make different decisions and pivot and that's what it's all about.
29:22.591 --> 29:29.600
[SPEAKER_01]: So thank you for coming in to have this conversation and please share with us everything along the way in your journey and your career.
29:29.680 --> 29:31.843
[SPEAKER_01]: I'd love to share it with my listeners.
29:32.003 --> 29:32.604
[SPEAKER_01]: So thank you.
29:32.804 --> 29:33.205
[SPEAKER_00]: Wonderful.
29:33.265 --> 29:34.086
[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for having me.
00:00.031 --> 00:17.688
[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome back to unscripted two point out with your girl Jennifer, and as a therapist and a connection strategist, I spend a lot of time talking about containers we build in our own lives, our boundaries in our mindsets, and also our stories, but today we are looking at the most literal containerable, our four walls we call home.
00:17.888 --> 00:20.070
[SPEAKER_01]: My guest today is Kim Costa.
00:20.471 --> 00:29.059
[SPEAKER_01]: Kim is a nationally recognized realtor, ranked in the top percent, actually the top 5 percent in Atlanta,
00:29.039 --> 00:33.328
[SPEAKER_01]: where she showcases the incredible stories of home and lifestyle and transformation.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But Kim is doing so much more, deeper work than that, just than selling houses.
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[SPEAKER_01]: She is a creator of the wheelhouse method and the author of the upcoming book, live in your wheelhouse.
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[SPEAKER_01]: and empowering guide to staying, going, or Reno.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So let's talk to her about how she teaches us how to use our homes, not just as assets, but as launch pets, for the purpose, peace, and our choose potential.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Kim, I am so thrilled to have you here to help us fall the thread back to our authentic spaces.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So welcome to the show.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, excited to be here.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I am so excited to have you on.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I read your book and I have to say it was actually just what I needed.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I think sometimes also as a therapist and a person that's actually living a life that in self-discovery, we're always trying to figure things out, especially when it comes to the most important place in our lives is our home where the environment we build.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I really appreciate you coming into this conversation.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So let's jump right in.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So, as a therapist myself, you talk about the window of tolerance.
01:35.880 --> 01:37.488
[SPEAKER_01]: I talk about the window of tolerance in therapy.
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[SPEAKER_01]: How does a misaligned home?
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[SPEAKER_01]: clutter or poor layout actually attribute to the nervous system.
01:43.320 --> 01:49.487
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, if you're always frustrated about something, you know, it could be your laundry rooms on the wrong floor.
01:49.627 --> 01:52.149
[SPEAKER_00]: It could be there's a barking dog mixed door.
01:52.429 --> 01:57.715
[SPEAKER_00]: It could be you have your fifth child coming and you have three bedrooms.
01:57.915 --> 01:58.636
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a problem.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so, you know, it's all about the frustration and the pain
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[SPEAKER_00]: to the point where it's a breaking point and then it's forcing a move or a remodel.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so you know I have so there's I think differentiation between you know this internal anxiety which we will get sometimes in our home or just house anxiety.
02:22.790 --> 02:27.338
[SPEAKER_01]: So I think what you're describing right now is a sense of house anxiety versus internal part.
02:27.358 --> 02:31.926
[SPEAKER_01]: Can you just share with my audience give examples of maybe how the two are different?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, there is sometimes some internal anxiety because my book is all about your home being a reflection of yourself and say you're going through a huge life change.
02:42.784 --> 02:43.946
[SPEAKER_00]: It could be divorce.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It could be getting married and like, you're next stage of life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're becoming
02:49.355 --> 02:50.857
[SPEAKER_00]: a different person, really.
02:51.218 --> 03:00.253
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's an internal change, or maybe that you want an internal change, maybe your midlife mom, or career person that's done everything for everybody else.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And you're like, I have another 30 or so years left.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to do from me now.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So you're actually recognizing your true self and pointing your next stage of life more towards authenticity.
03:12.132 --> 03:16.459
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that's an internal change reflected in an external thing like your home.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So interestingly enough, I think, as I understood it, you had some internal changes in some remiles in terms of just your home, own human experience.
03:26.192 --> 03:32.241
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think, in some ways, that's what led you to actually writing this book, after a lot of changes that you were going through.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Can you share a little bit of about those changes that you were going through, and what led you to writing this book?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Sure.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, 100% led to me writing this book and coming up with this framework.
03:44.097 --> 03:49.548
[SPEAKER_00]: because I went through a lot of life change from the ages of, say, 45 to 55.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And prior to that, I did go through some changes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, when I graduated college, I got married, started having children.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I made some sacrifices for my family in regards to where I lived.
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[SPEAKER_00]: and my career and things like that, that I kind of abandoned myself and my goals, you know, I've got a masters in human resource development, except for just a few credits because my daughter had to have surgeries when she was born.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Long story, but abandoned that, abandoned the interior design,
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[SPEAKER_00]: certificate that I got and and got stuck being an accountant, which is so not me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I can do numbers great, but I would only want to do them an hour or two a day, not eight hours, five days a week.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I found myself a bit lost in my marriage relationship, in my career, even in my hobbies, and definitely in the houses I was living in.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They were
04:44.493 --> 04:45.114
[SPEAKER_00]: huge.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They were beautiful.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I loved entertaining in them, but I was not personally aligned with many of the things I was doing in my life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so that led me to make some changes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Really at 50 I changed everything.
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[SPEAKER_00]: My career, I was divorced, effect my home changed, and I was really recognized how I was made.
05:04.983 --> 05:09.910
[SPEAKER_00]: And so my own personal journey from super large homes, a 40-acre farm,
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[SPEAKER_00]: six horses, two dogs, getting picked all the things like, and I'm not a maintenance girl.
05:15.017 --> 05:16.299
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a lock and leave travel.
05:16.359 --> 05:17.801
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to go out and see people person.
05:17.981 --> 05:18.642
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm so stuck.
05:18.762 --> 05:19.904
[SPEAKER_00]: That's how I know.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's like it was a 180.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm so much happier.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I have fixed my income.
05:26.012 --> 05:31.139
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just, you know, glowing with anticipation of to what the I'm turning 60.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What the next 30 years are going to bring.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm very excited.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I want to spread that with other people.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I think that is absolutely amazing because, you know, I'm, I'm 48 turning 49 and I'm kind of also in this really exploratory phase of my life and I think more and more women need to understand that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: If you're able to pivot and you want to pivot and you're brave enough to pivot, pivot, there's nothing wrong with that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We have, you know, from my age, I mean, people are living well into their 80s.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We have 40 years left to live.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: time and how much amazing all the amazing experiences that we could have at that time period.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I really appreciate you sharing that because it sounds like even with all of the experience that life brought you which would be considered challenging you still said you know what this is not what I meant to be doing and I want to live the life I meant to live.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I love that and I think a lot of my listeners really resonate with that especially pivoting in their career changes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So tell us about the book.
06:30.806 --> 06:34.814
[SPEAKER_01]: Tell us just I want to know where you came up with the wheelhouse method.
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[SPEAKER_01]: What is it about?
06:35.817 --> 06:36.839
[SPEAKER_01]: Share all the things.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So my audience can really get appreciate it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So the book is live in your wheelhouse.
06:43.714 --> 06:44.415
[SPEAKER_00]: It's two words.
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[SPEAKER_00]: My parents were both HR directors and so they would always say,
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[SPEAKER_00]: this job is in their wheelhouse.
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[SPEAKER_00]: He's doing great or we had to let her go.
06:52.913 --> 06:54.436
[SPEAKER_00]: This job was not in her wheelhouse.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So when I was very young, I had this perception of people are made for certain jobs, certain relationships, certain living environments.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So that stuck with me.
07:04.034 --> 07:07.461
[SPEAKER_00]: When I got to be about 45, I got divorced.
07:07.441 --> 07:18.800
[SPEAKER_00]: seen after and that started a series of changes because I I first changed my job and got out of a family business and got out a little bit that way and then I got divorced and changed my home.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Then I really was like gosh, I don't know that I'm cut out for this accounting I took a personality test.
07:25.632 --> 07:30.939
[SPEAKER_00]: and turns out I'm an ENFP, which is extroverted intuitive, feeling perceptive.
07:31.279 --> 07:33.722
[SPEAKER_00]: I really felt that because I always liked to write.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And the ENFPs of the world are the Charles Dickens, the Mark Twain's, the Sandra Bullocks, the Robin Williams, you know, funny storytelling people.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I was doing accounting, and of a little room.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So that was the beginning of, you know, me thinking, okay, what, what are my proclivities?
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[SPEAKER_00]: What, what would I be good at?
07:51.544 --> 07:53.867
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I hired a coach and,
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[SPEAKER_00]: He confirmed that real estate would indeed be a good avenue for me to go down, but also writing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I took a trip to Spain with a group, a cohort that he created of other ENFPs, came up for the idea for the book in Ronda Spain, what a magical place.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Truly, truly many stories about that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And by the time I was flying home when I landed in Paris, I had the version of the framework for the book.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like I had snapped a picture as I was landing,
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[SPEAKER_00]: What is that circle?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And what are those M's in the middle of it?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And there were three M's at that point.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that picture popped up the other day that was 2018, November 2018.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I became a realtor and started working on that concept and just listening to people and their problems in the different eight different areas and developed a framework around it that people could read or take a workshop and figure it out for themselves.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then go to a local expert, whether it's interior
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[SPEAKER_00]: or a sale real estate agent and fix their home.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So this is a good segue.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So my question to specifically in the real house assessment, which you said there's eight areas, but which area do people sleep on the most?
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[SPEAKER_01]: And is there a specific spoke that acts as the linchpin to a total transformation?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I would say there are two or three, and they are, well, because I did just get off the phone with a new client 86 years old, that's a huge life change.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We might be making plans to go to an assisted living type thing with family.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so what I find is health, so typically declining health, like if it is, you know, wonderful health, like having babies and all that kind of thing, or like I want a swimming pool, so I can swim laps, that's fantastic.
09:39.046 --> 10:02.607
[SPEAKER_00]: But typically, the big decisions are made with declining health, change in the family like new babies getting married or getting divorced or unfortunately the passing of a partner and the other one I think would be career I just got a promotion I need to move to Seattle we got to move and maybe a nice thing would be that promotion and they get a big raise and they're you know, so financial comes into it as well.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Those four things I see the most, you know, it's so interesting that you say that because as I said earlier when we started this this really resonating with me, the book with your book because a lot of the things that you are talking about specifically what we were just talking about these areas.
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[SPEAKER_01]: actually, you know, was I was actually doing that.
10:21.715 --> 10:26.482
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'll give you an example, COVID hits, I was living in a house and the house was sold.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And at that point, you know, I'm divorced.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I have my son and it's just above us, but for a long time, you know, we were isolated, you know, it's just my son and I.
10:34.514 --> 10:41.385
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I realized that for my mental health, because part of it is health and wellness, like your mental health, like,
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[SPEAKER_01]: and you talk about that type.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You talk about connection and family and friends and is a, you know, can you go outside all of those things?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Is there light in the home?
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[SPEAKER_00]: All those things?
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[SPEAKER_01]: So a lot of the things that you talk about in your book, I was actually looking at and with those checkboxes, I said, I need to, I live in a high rise now.
10:58.434 --> 11:04.104
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, I, on the 15th floor by the time I get to my car, my garage, I've said hi to six people.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And as a woman that lives on her own, that's single with her son and, you know, we co-parent, it's really important for me to have that connection.
11:13.449 --> 11:19.938
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, learning is that is so important, that connection, that was one of the major reasons that I moved here.
11:20.299 --> 11:26.748
[SPEAKER_01]: And I walk across the street and go to the local, like I call, you know, my cheers, you know, where I hold there and I see all of my neighbors.
11:26.988 --> 11:32.777
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's nice to be able to step outside of my career mode, mom mode, and be in my community.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So community was very, very important.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It is so important and there are so many studies now how we in America, we are declining in our sense of happiness because we've lost some of that connection.
11:46.273 --> 11:48.776
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's an interesting thing, just relating to homes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I am seeing a surge of multifamily generational homes here in my area because there's land in there's room.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's like everyone's thinking,
11:57.607 --> 12:00.011
[SPEAKER_00]: we don't want to be so far away from our family.
12:00.352 --> 12:05.660
[SPEAKER_00]: It would be okay if Grandma came and lived with us because we have a space for her, we'll have separation.
12:06.041 --> 12:08.625
[SPEAKER_00]: But then she can watch the kids while I go do this or that.
12:08.845 --> 12:12.371
[SPEAKER_00]: And people are figuring out that there's a place for separation and togetherness.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And multi-generational homes are proving to be a source of happiness for people again.
12:18.021 --> 12:21.927
[SPEAKER_01]: So another connection that I made to your book chapter 12,
12:21.907 --> 12:25.092
[SPEAKER_01]: talking about like there you also talk about blocks.
12:25.153 --> 12:25.934
[SPEAKER_01]: What blocks you?
12:25.974 --> 12:26.976
[SPEAKER_01]: What are some of the barriers?
12:27.016 --> 12:27.757
[SPEAKER_01]: I think you call it.
12:27.957 --> 12:28.318
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
12:28.538 --> 12:28.779
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: What are some of the barriers that you you find yourself in when really trying to develop this environment of living that you just really want to be and want to live your best life?
12:39.758 --> 12:44.646
[SPEAKER_01]: So for me, one of the things I learned was, you know, invalidation.
12:44.806 --> 12:47.070
[SPEAKER_01]: You had used one of those markers in validation.
12:47.050 --> 12:55.202
[SPEAKER_01]: And interestingly enough, I talk about self-discovery and I talk about all the things that I'm doing part of this podcast is about that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Invalidation.
12:56.324 --> 13:07.540
[SPEAKER_01]: So growing up, when you're told all the time that your decisions or your thoughts or maybe just any type of expression that you have is not right.
13:07.520 --> 13:11.685
[SPEAKER_01]: You start to become very confused about what it is that you want.
13:11.705 --> 13:21.755
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I recognized that this is a big deal too, by the way, because I never really bought any, I never really planted myself or developed and I didn't understand why.
13:21.775 --> 13:24.979
[SPEAKER_01]: I said, well, why do I have this anxiety attached to it?
13:25.339 --> 13:25.640
[SPEAKER_00]: Why?
13:25.680 --> 13:29.884
[SPEAKER_01]: And then when I read that, I was like, that was like an aha moment for me.
13:29.964 --> 13:32.447
[SPEAKER_01]: I said, well, I don't know why didn't put that together.
13:32.427 --> 13:36.508
[SPEAKER_01]: the validating piece is, it's subconscious or unconscious.
13:36.890 --> 13:38.016
[SPEAKER_00]: You would know better than me.
13:38.671 --> 13:46.101
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly, so as I'm always helping people find their voice, but in that, you kind of helped me find mine because I said, wow.
13:46.542 --> 13:48.725
[SPEAKER_01]: So now I'm kind of separating that.
13:48.785 --> 13:52.610
[SPEAKER_01]: Like that does not have to exist for me, and I know what I want.
13:52.650 --> 13:59.300
[SPEAKER_01]: So it was very interesting, the barriers, and I think that's a really important piece, like knowing, understanding that.
13:59.320 --> 14:08.172
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, and you know what's funny is I didn't add that chapter and the epilogue or afterward until last year.
14:08.152 --> 14:20.351
[SPEAKER_00]: because I was exposed to just knowledge of codependency and someone very close to me going through a recovery program where housing was a real issue.
14:20.391 --> 14:32.269
[SPEAKER_00]: And it wasn't, it was that those, those were barriers to self, codependency, invalidation, like what are my thoughts and what are other people's do I even know myself, addiction, trauma,
14:32.249 --> 14:58.729
[SPEAKER_00]: all the things that can interfere with like I someone may walk into a home and if it's on like say your condo was on the ground floor and you had had trauma in your past you wouldn't know why you were uncomfortable with like having access directly out on the on the main on the and then you would feel just a little lighter the the higher you went up in the building like no one can get in the store and you may not even recognize that so that is so interesting that you say that i'm getting goosebumps.
14:58.709 --> 15:17.106
[SPEAKER_01]: Because when I'm you know, I've had and this is part of the reason why I've put this platform together is really because of the experiences that I had growing up and I had a family trauma, excuse me, a family tragedy that we experienced in 2021 and this was just my road map to conversations and connections and that's I am.
15:17.086 --> 15:20.810
[SPEAKER_01]: And the interesting thing is is that I live so this I live in a higher eyes.
15:20.850 --> 15:24.673
[SPEAKER_01]: There's 15 floors, and then that's the penthouse underneath me above me, excuse me.
15:24.894 --> 15:27.797
[SPEAKER_01]: And I remembered my first year living here, I've been here six years.
15:28.137 --> 15:31.020
[SPEAKER_01]: One of the things I would always say was I feel so safe up here.
15:31.440 --> 15:31.820
[SPEAKER_00]: Good.
15:31.841 --> 15:32.701
[SPEAKER_01]: I just got chills.
15:33.062 --> 15:34.303
[SPEAKER_01]: I literally just got chills.
15:34.323 --> 15:35.404
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel so safe up here.
15:35.464 --> 15:36.525
[SPEAKER_01]: This feels amazing.
15:36.825 --> 15:37.366
[SPEAKER_01]: I love it.
15:37.586 --> 15:39.148
[SPEAKER_01]: I love looking out beautiful view.
15:39.168 --> 15:45.574
[SPEAKER_01]: I am right all of this right now because yeah, it's so
15:45.672 --> 15:52.644
[SPEAKER_01]: So I just, you know, to all of you that are listening, I mean, this is just things that you don't think about, especially don't your environment.
15:52.664 --> 15:56.451
[SPEAKER_01]: So I really appreciate those connections that I made after reading your book.
15:56.471 --> 16:03.523
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you know, and during, you know, when I got divorced, I had a huge home moved out of there and my son was still in high school.
16:03.543 --> 16:05.166
[SPEAKER_00]: So I needed to stay in the district.
16:05.146 --> 16:18.466
[SPEAKER_00]: but a large townhome behind gates felt pretty safe but it was still a ground floor thing and the ground floor was so dark that it was depressing and I was like going through a huge life change and that was where the living space was.
16:18.566 --> 16:26.277
[SPEAKER_00]: It was just kind of a depressing space with like a wall that was right outside my back door so no sunlight whatsoever.
16:26.257 --> 16:35.591
[SPEAKER_00]: When I moved from there to this luxury apartment like three stories up in the middle of where I could meet friends for dinner and they were like weddings going down the street.
16:35.611 --> 16:36.973
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, this is a happy place.
16:37.193 --> 16:39.977
[SPEAKER_00]: It was such a great place to reinvent myself.
16:39.998 --> 16:41.099
[SPEAKER_00]: I bought all new furniture.
16:41.119 --> 16:42.862
[SPEAKER_00]: I the people who bought my prior home.
16:43.042 --> 16:44.204
[SPEAKER_00]: I knew they needed some furniture.
16:44.224 --> 16:45.526
[SPEAKER_00]: They loved the furniture that I had.
16:45.546 --> 16:48.070
[SPEAKER_00]: It was very expensive and it was my marital furniture.
16:48.110 --> 16:52.416
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, you know, just give me $5,000 for all that and the China.
16:52.396 --> 16:53.678
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want any of that.
16:53.958 --> 16:55.841
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want any of it.
16:55.861 --> 17:01.067
[SPEAKER_01]: 100% but it's all all that all of that if you would have brought it with you, it's all energy attached to it.
17:01.087 --> 17:03.771
[SPEAKER_00]: It's energy and like those the red and gold chairs.
17:04.111 --> 17:11.121
[SPEAKER_00]: I just needed like fresh and new and pink and I have this beautiful painting here in my office and I call it the divine goddess.
17:11.481 --> 17:16.007
[SPEAKER_00]: And I put it in my bet my master bedroom in this two bedroom luxury apartment.
17:15.987 --> 17:22.775
[SPEAKER_00]: And I would wake up every morning and the sun would rise through my window, and I would sit and look at the divine goddess about that's the future me.
17:23.115 --> 17:24.717
[SPEAKER_00]: And that was what started.
17:24.737 --> 17:29.563
[SPEAKER_00]: It was like a whole change in my environment that I was like was like pressing the pause button.
17:29.603 --> 17:31.825
[SPEAKER_00]: So I could think about where do I want to go from here?
17:31.865 --> 17:33.147
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's where I became a realtor.
17:33.527 --> 17:35.650
[SPEAKER_00]: That's where I took all my tests and changed my life.
17:35.930 --> 17:37.512
[SPEAKER_00]: That's where I met my future husband.
17:37.692 --> 17:39.454
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was like I just needed a fresh start.
17:40.435 --> 17:43.699
[SPEAKER_00]: And
17:43.679 --> 17:58.487
[SPEAKER_01]: thing that I also wanted to talk about was how you reframe going about actually purchasing a home or moving or all of the different, you know, options that one would have, you know, whether we stay run of a move.
17:58.708 --> 17:58.988
[SPEAKER_01]: So
17:58.968 --> 18:06.841
[SPEAKER_01]: one of the things that I found really interesting is that most times we lead with the financial aspects of it, we lean to how much can we afford and granted.
18:06.861 --> 18:09.386
[SPEAKER_01]: That is a big piece of it, right?
18:09.766 --> 18:19.823
[SPEAKER_01]: But the way you switched it, I think that it gives people hope to be able to find and connect to where they want to live because you're looking at it from a different angle.
18:19.903 --> 18:22.748
[SPEAKER_01]: You're not looking at it first with how much money.
18:22.728 --> 18:23.930
[SPEAKER_01]: can you put down on this home?
18:24.291 --> 18:26.294
[SPEAKER_01]: Can you share with us the reframe?
18:26.314 --> 18:31.442
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, what do you think is most important to look at before we look at the cost of things?
18:32.203 --> 18:36.350
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I think is what function does your home, what functions there are many?
18:36.731 --> 18:38.053
[SPEAKER_00]: Does your home need to serve?
18:38.033 --> 18:41.057
[SPEAKER_00]: So you do need to recognize how many bedrooms do I need?
18:41.237 --> 18:43.500
[SPEAKER_00]: Do I need a flex space for an office or two?
18:43.720 --> 18:44.601
[SPEAKER_00]: Am I going to have guests?
18:44.661 --> 18:45.782
[SPEAKER_00]: Is my family going to change?
18:45.802 --> 18:49.707
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I have mom or dad come live with me anytime soon.
18:50.188 --> 18:50.588
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a girl.
18:50.628 --> 18:52.330
[SPEAKER_00]: Do I have kids leaving for college?
18:52.350 --> 18:53.171
[SPEAKER_00]: Do I want a dog?
18:53.492 --> 18:55.334
[SPEAKER_00]: So these are all the things you have to think about.
18:55.694 --> 19:00.480
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not just I personally and my husband could afford a much more expensive home.
19:00.460 --> 19:05.890
[SPEAKER_00]: However, I don't need one, and it's a lovely cottage, it's a lock and leave.
19:06.230 --> 19:10.478
[SPEAKER_00]: So although you could ask what can you afford, that's not the question.
19:10.538 --> 19:12.321
[SPEAKER_00]: The question is what do you need?
19:12.702 --> 19:13.844
[SPEAKER_00]: What's going to make you happy?
19:14.045 --> 19:20.376
[SPEAKER_00]: You could afford 10 acres in a 10,000 square foot house, but are you going to be stuck maintaining that house when you really don't care?
19:20.356 --> 19:35.981
[SPEAKER_00]: about the eight extra rooms you don't need and could you then take that money and travel or get a small beach cottage or something else that would make you happier than just living up to the expectations of this is a bushy home and a bushy's wonderful.
19:36.061 --> 19:38.044
[SPEAKER_00]: I have many bushy friends and their fabulous.
19:38.142 --> 19:38.543
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
19:38.563 --> 19:40.307
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think I love a nice thing.
19:40.828 --> 19:43.054
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I'm not putting down large expensive homes.
19:43.114 --> 19:48.306
[SPEAKER_00]: I've had many of them while I had raising children and that served its purpose.
19:48.346 --> 19:49.649
[SPEAKER_00]: But now it's like, what about me?
19:49.729 --> 19:51.734
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't want to maintain all that.
19:51.754 --> 19:52.456
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to travel.
19:52.516 --> 19:53.258
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to meet people.
19:53.358 --> 19:54.360
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to play golf.
19:54.421 --> 19:55.864
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to do yoga.
19:55.844 --> 19:57.186
[SPEAKER_00]: And I want to welcome the beach.
19:57.206 --> 20:00.891
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think those things to be honest with you are equally as important.
20:01.072 --> 20:08.462
[SPEAKER_01]: And even and for people that even have children, we, you know, I, I know some families that have had the really, really big home.
20:08.843 --> 20:13.990
[SPEAKER_01]: And then it downsize and it's still a beautiful home, but just as you're saying, the maintenance of it.
20:14.471 --> 20:18.036
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just sometimes it just becomes bigger than we expected.
20:18.457 --> 20:23.404
[SPEAKER_01]: And that takes so much of our life away where we could be enjoying our life versus really
20:23.384 --> 20:25.127
[SPEAKER_01]: just living for our home.
20:25.228 --> 20:29.476
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that, you know, even growing up, we lived in a relatively big house.
20:29.556 --> 20:35.127
[SPEAKER_01]: And I just remember all the time that, you know, when Mom was a career woman, and she had her own business, and she was larger than life.
20:35.488 --> 20:41.680
[SPEAKER_01]: But when it got to coming home, it just felt like she was always so unhappy, maintainable.
20:41.660 --> 20:47.209
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and so and that's also part of the reason why I thought like well, I don't want to feel like that.
20:47.230 --> 20:50.315
[SPEAKER_01]: I never like that and that energy stuck with me.
20:50.736 --> 20:58.048
[SPEAKER_01]: So again, I think that brings up a good point like what are we looking at that that really defines our happiness over time.
20:58.028 --> 21:01.012
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, something there with your mom might have been.
21:01.052 --> 21:11.747
[SPEAKER_00]: She goes around the circle, which are, if I may save the categories, health, finance, spirituality, friends and family, entertainment, romance, career and environment.
21:12.088 --> 21:13.570
[SPEAKER_00]: So her career was thriving.
21:13.891 --> 21:15.072
[SPEAKER_00]: Her family was thriving.
21:15.252 --> 21:22.703
[SPEAKER_00]: Her environment seemed to be thriving, except maybe she wasn't having enough fun, because maybe she had to come home and maintain the house and
21:22.683 --> 21:36.824
[SPEAKER_00]: go to the grocery and call the repairman and whatever else she had to do and like she wanted to go for a walk or she wanted to take a class or bring you guys to a festival and do something fun but she may not have had the time to do that.
21:38.486 --> 21:42.953
[SPEAKER_00]: So she may have scored her fun and entertainment area at a two.
21:42.933 --> 21:44.715
[SPEAKER_00]: which is not good for happiness.
21:44.935 --> 21:51.543
[SPEAKER_00]: So this is a system to rate each area of your current life and she may have rated that area lower.
21:51.563 --> 21:53.405
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, maybe you guys didn't have to move.
21:53.746 --> 22:02.296
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe she could have called someone to help maintain some of these things and maybe some a little bit of money may have fixed that problem for her and freed up her time.
22:02.356 --> 22:11.927
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's just once you see what you've graded things on paper, you cannot unsee it and it kind of forces you to make a small change
22:11.907 --> 22:14.971
[SPEAKER_00]: And that is where the accountant in you comes out.
22:14.991 --> 22:16.652
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, totally.
22:16.853 --> 22:20.817
[SPEAKER_00]: It's no longer both departments, profit and loss.
22:21.017 --> 22:24.942
[SPEAKER_00]: I look at are you in the red or the black in each of these quadrants in your home.
22:25.282 --> 22:31.029
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm bringing my accounting skills to like, there's your, what is your profit and loss statement?
22:31.069 --> 22:33.552
[SPEAKER_00]: Look like in each of these areas are you in the red?
22:33.572 --> 22:34.573
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you in the black?
22:34.553 --> 22:38.839
[SPEAKER_01]: So you, I mean, what a transferable skill to add to this book.
22:38.859 --> 22:44.608
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't even realize that until like a couple of months ago, like I'm still doing it, it's just with humans, humans are the assets.
22:44.848 --> 22:45.730
[SPEAKER_01]: But it's for fun.
22:45.810 --> 22:52.039
[SPEAKER_01]: You're doing it the way you talk your numbers and you apply them, the way you wanted to and you created.
22:52.019 --> 22:53.221
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, that's the way I think.
22:53.501 --> 22:56.346
[SPEAKER_00]: I think in terms of I'm very empathetic and intuitive.
22:56.706 --> 22:57.988
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that is how I think.
22:58.109 --> 22:59.270
[SPEAKER_00]: I can do numbers.
22:59.371 --> 23:01.053
[SPEAKER_00]: Still, I still love to crunch some numbers.
23:01.113 --> 23:01.834
[SPEAKER_00]: It's fascinating.
23:02.015 --> 23:03.277
[SPEAKER_00]: But then I want to go talk to people.
23:03.657 --> 23:05.600
[SPEAKER_00]: So the numbers are to solve a problem.
23:05.740 --> 23:06.321
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
23:06.341 --> 23:09.947
[SPEAKER_01]: So I mean, what else do you want people to know about this book?
23:10.047 --> 23:11.049
[SPEAKER_01]: Tell us a little bit more.
23:11.269 --> 23:11.850
[UNKNOWN]: Yeah.
23:11.830 --> 23:13.293
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I mean, it's available everywhere.
23:13.774 --> 23:26.036
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you do buy the book and go to my website, you can get a free masterclass that I've prepared just, you know, so you can see my face besides the this wonderful podcast that just kind of gives an overview.
23:26.357 --> 23:33.089
[SPEAKER_00]: And then also, I'll be running workshops very soon if you want to run through the process with some guidance and with some other people.
23:33.329 --> 23:34.311
[SPEAKER_00]: That's going to be really fun.
23:34.291 --> 23:35.733
[SPEAKER_01]: And where can everybody find you?
23:35.873 --> 23:42.442
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, of course, I will share all this on my show notes and on my social media, but tell people where they can find you and what you're doing next.
23:43.023 --> 23:43.384
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, good.
23:43.424 --> 23:45.847
[SPEAKER_00]: So lifestyle foundations is my website.
23:46.268 --> 23:49.292
[SPEAKER_00]: And so you'll have information about my book and the bonuses there.
23:49.472 --> 23:52.677
[SPEAKER_00]: How to reach me, you know, regarding workshops and things like that.
23:52.997 --> 23:57.704
[SPEAKER_00]: And then on the socials, everywhere I am Kim E. Costa.
23:58.064 --> 24:01.609
[SPEAKER_00]: So middle initial E. And so Kim E. Costa, I'm on everything.
24:01.689 --> 24:02.931
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm about to get on TikTok.
24:02.911 --> 24:06.337
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm on it, but I haven't been prolific, but I'll be on there soon.
24:06.857 --> 24:07.539
[SPEAKER_01]: Good luck with that.
24:07.699 --> 24:11.765
[SPEAKER_01]: I am on its board of, and it's just, it's hard to be everywhere.
24:11.826 --> 24:13.048
[SPEAKER_01]: Hard, it's hard to be everywhere.
24:13.088 --> 24:18.817
[SPEAKER_01]: What you're doing your thing, and I'm so glad to have connected with you and had this great conversation.
24:18.857 --> 24:23.805
[SPEAKER_01]: And again, you really also really enlightened a lot of the things that
24:23.785 --> 24:34.382
[SPEAKER_01]: I was challenged with when it came to even, you know, planting roots, and for me, I really had an aha moment with your book and telling you, everybody, go pick up this book.
24:35.003 --> 24:39.430
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not just a book about, you know, where to purchase or how to get the best home.
24:39.510 --> 24:45.540
[SPEAKER_01]: It's about the internal pieces of how the free, these containers that are so important, which is the environment you live in.
24:45.520 --> 24:49.626
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm really excited for people to read it.
24:49.646 --> 24:52.791
[SPEAKER_01]: But before we end, I have a really great fun way to end.
24:53.031 --> 24:59.541
[SPEAKER_01]: I like to ask all of my guests five questions, five rapid fire questions that Kim does not know about.
24:59.581 --> 25:03.927
[SPEAKER_01]: So we are going to begin a question number one.
25:04.147 --> 25:07.933
[SPEAKER_01]: What is one luxury home feature that you think is actually a barrier?
25:07.913 --> 25:09.555
[SPEAKER_01]: to the real human connection.
25:09.855 --> 25:12.278
[SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, I think it's the open floor plan.
25:12.518 --> 25:17.223
[SPEAKER_00]: Although it seems like it would be connecting everybody, I am part introvert.
25:17.483 --> 25:19.906
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I think everyone also needs their space.
25:20.306 --> 25:35.743
[SPEAKER_00]: And so if you have a huge open concept home, but you have some introverted traits, do you have a space in the home to retreat to and then come back out being settled, your nervous system settled, and you could actually enjoy that together time with everybody else.
25:35.723 --> 25:37.386
[SPEAKER_01]: That is so interesting.
25:37.406 --> 25:38.428
[SPEAKER_00]: How do I intuit it, right?
25:38.488 --> 25:41.895
[SPEAKER_00]: You would think an open floor plan would be conducive to being together.
25:41.935 --> 25:44.640
[SPEAKER_00]: But you really just want to get away from each other because it's so loud.
25:44.700 --> 25:45.762
[SPEAKER_01]: That's wonderful.
25:45.802 --> 25:46.123
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
25:46.804 --> 25:47.506
[SPEAKER_01]: Uh, number two.
25:47.846 --> 25:52.956
[SPEAKER_01]: What is the one room in the house that never lies about how a family is actually doing?
25:52.936 --> 25:56.602
[SPEAKER_00]: thinking, thinking, well, it's people's bedrooms because that's their personal space.
25:56.802 --> 25:58.325
[SPEAKER_00]: I would mostly see the kitchen.
25:58.365 --> 25:59.767
[SPEAKER_00]: Are they gathering in the kitchen?
25:59.827 --> 26:02.632
[SPEAKER_00]: Because that's, again, that's the main gathering space.
26:02.652 --> 26:03.373
[SPEAKER_00]: Is it messy?
26:03.413 --> 26:05.337
[SPEAKER_00]: Are there bills laying around?
26:06.158 --> 26:06.899
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's interesting.
26:07.019 --> 26:09.223
[SPEAKER_01]: One of the things that I think about is the mud room.
26:09.203 --> 26:14.248
[SPEAKER_01]: Because here's why because you can tell whether there's it's an active family.
26:14.288 --> 26:15.029
[SPEAKER_01]: We're kind of things.
26:15.069 --> 26:22.276
[SPEAKER_01]: They're into if they have animals If they have like all the things get thrown in there when they get home So for me what I wrote this question.
26:22.296 --> 26:29.183
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like if I were to walk through that little space I would understand in a heartbeat what a family was going through.
26:29.203 --> 26:31.906
[SPEAKER_01]: There are looks like I don't know just in the personalities.
26:32.086 --> 26:34.609
[SPEAKER_00]: Is it highly organized or are things through?
26:35.069 --> 26:38.873
[SPEAKER_00]: Neither one is better than the other, but it just tells you how people like to live
26:38.853 --> 26:39.214
[SPEAKER_01]: 100%.
26:39.334 --> 26:40.616
[SPEAKER_01]: So there's and love.
26:40.716 --> 26:41.618
[SPEAKER_01]: No judgment here.
26:41.758 --> 26:42.560
[SPEAKER_00]: No judgment.
26:42.580 --> 26:43.341
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a little above.
26:44.343 --> 26:44.804
[SPEAKER_01]: Me too.
26:44.864 --> 26:48.991
[SPEAKER_01]: If we've got a hundred like four pairs of muddy cleats, that's saying we've got an active family.
26:49.091 --> 26:49.872
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's right.
26:50.313 --> 26:50.854
[SPEAKER_01]: Interesting.
26:51.275 --> 26:53.719
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you had to take them off and then we're in up to the bath, right?
26:53.759 --> 26:54.380
[SPEAKER_00]: Or the showers.
26:54.581 --> 26:56.504
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, running through the house with the cleats.
26:56.805 --> 26:57.366
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
26:57.907 --> 26:58.488
[SPEAKER_01]: Number three.
26:58.748 --> 27:03.797
[SPEAKER_01]: In three words or less, how do you know instinctively when it's time to leave a space?
27:03.777 --> 27:10.824
[SPEAKER_00]: feeling discomfort, and there's more to that specifically, but it's the discomfort you're feeling, whether it's named or unnamed.
27:11.084 --> 27:11.965
[SPEAKER_00]: That's so important.
27:12.065 --> 27:16.349
[SPEAKER_01]: And again, that can have so many different variables, but that's so true.
27:16.529 --> 27:20.653
[SPEAKER_01]: What was one sacred spot in your childhood home where you felt the most seen?
27:21.333 --> 27:22.434
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, that's a great question.
27:22.675 --> 27:30.662
[SPEAKER_00]: Back when I was very young, I grew up in Pennsylvania, Doyle's Town Pennsylvania, beautiful little area in Bucks County near the omission all that.
27:30.642 --> 27:31.343
[SPEAKER_00]: very sweet.
27:31.684 --> 27:45.223
[SPEAKER_00]: And on my front of my house, I had a little onclave with a church pew, and then my mom's rose garden was behind a picket fence in that little alcove, and I would just sit there, and I would watch the geese migrate sometimes.
27:45.544 --> 27:56.700
[SPEAKER_00]: And I would watch the, I was, I could sit up there in the rain, and my, sometimes my dad and I, the lightning would strike, and we'd count seconds till the thunder came, and we could see if the storm was coming or going.
27:56.680 --> 27:58.147
[SPEAKER_00]: what a beautiful memory.
27:58.448 --> 28:03.450
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I still must my favorite rose is still the piece throws because they my mom had that there.
28:03.802 --> 28:04.663
[SPEAKER_00]: how beautiful.
28:06.004 --> 28:07.306
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so the last question.
28:07.546 --> 28:13.293
[SPEAKER_01]: If your current home was a launchpad for your big next mission, where is this sending unix?
28:13.673 --> 28:28.510
[SPEAKER_00]: It's going to be travel and meeting new people that I can bring this framework to in a more personal way, whether it be speaking, a summit, a retreat, or a workshop, where I'm just really going to roll up my sleeves with actual people.
28:28.490 --> 28:39.105
[SPEAKER_00]: not just my own clients locally because that involves contracts and negotiations and all the things that I can do and I'm good at but I love the interaction with people and hearing their stories.
28:39.286 --> 28:41.509
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think travel too is a huge part.
28:41.529 --> 28:44.393
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that's the thing of it all.
28:44.533 --> 28:50.882
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that what we have this information that we are now sharing globally, right?
28:51.223 --> 28:57.552
[SPEAKER_01]: It's what you do and giving back and
28:57.532 --> 29:03.021
[SPEAKER_01]: that's part of how we actually feel fulfilled is what we give to others and that's very much.
29:03.542 --> 29:03.842
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
29:04.083 --> 29:05.645
[SPEAKER_01]: Chapter three as a matter of fact.
29:05.966 --> 29:07.629
[SPEAKER_01]: Listen, there's so many chapters.
29:07.649 --> 29:09.792
[SPEAKER_01]: That's why everybody you have to pick this book up.
29:10.413 --> 29:13.178
[SPEAKER_01]: Again, thank you Kim for coming on.
29:13.158 --> 29:22.511
[SPEAKER_01]: to unscripted 2.0 because I think, you know, life is so unscripted and when it is, we tend to have to make different decisions and pivot and that's what it's all about.
29:22.591 --> 29:29.600
[SPEAKER_01]: So thank you for coming in to have this conversation and please share with us everything along the way in your journey and your career.
29:29.680 --> 29:31.843
[SPEAKER_01]: I'd love to share it with my listeners.
29:32.003 --> 29:32.604
[SPEAKER_01]: So thank you.
29:32.804 --> 29:33.205
[SPEAKER_00]: Wonderful.
29:33.265 --> 29:34.086
[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for having me.
