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Have you ever seen a wedding dress, absolutely loved it, saved it, and then found yourself looking at something completely different about a week later?
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Have you walked into a bridal boutique convinced you wanted one particular style?
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And you asked for that style and you tried on, and then you walk out wondering if you actually liked any of the dresses you tried on.
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Like they they were the ones you asked for, they're in the style that you thought you wanted, but they're all a bit meh.
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How much of what you think you want to wear on your wedding day is genuinely your personal style versus what you've been told a bride is supposed to look like?
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Because between Pinterest, TikTok, celebrity weddings, bridal designers, your mum, your friends, and approximately 47,000 people telling you what's trending, working out what you actually like can get surprisingly difficult.
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It's complicated.
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Yesterday I went along to the Sposer Bride Show, where I learned about the historical influences behind the modern bride and how bridal fashion has evolved into what we see today.
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And it got me thinking about just how much influence other people have over the way we imagine ourselves on our wedding day.
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So today I'm looking at who's really influencing your bridal style, how those influences have changed over the years, and how you can take inspiration from the world around you without ending up in a wedding dress that looks amazing in the catalogue, but just doesn't feel like you.
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And stick around to the end because I've got five practical ways to work out your own bridal style, even if your current mood board looks like several completely different weddings have exploded on there.
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Let's get stuck into it.
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Unbridly is a community of pro-wedding vendors who believe in freedom and integrity in weddings, giving you options, solutions, tips, and tricks to create the experience and memories that you and your fiance really want and deserve.
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Because we believe that weddings are a team sport with how-tos, stories and interviews with recently married couples.
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We find out what went right and what they've changed if they could go back and do it all over again.
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I'm Camille and welcome to the Unbridly Podcast.
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Now, when I say bridal style, I'm not just talking about wedding gowns.
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What I'm talking about is the whole look.
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You know, yes, it's what you wear, it's your clothes.
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A lot of the times it's the wedding gown, but it's also how you style yourself and the details that you choose, you know, whether it's your hairstyle, any accessories with that, any jewelry, any other adornments, you know, your shoes, the whole thing, the way you want to feel when you walk into your wedding.
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And although I'm going to spend a bit of time talking about wedding fashion, I think there's a much bigger conversation here about how we make decisions when we're planning a wedding.
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Because we're constantly being shown what a wedding should look like.
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And when you're surrounded by beautiful images and trends and people with opinions, it's no shock, really.
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It can be difficult to distinguish between what genuinely appeals to you and what you've simply become accustomed to seeing.
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So let's start with a little history.
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How do we get here?
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Yesterday I attended the Sposer Bride Show, which was called The Historical DNA Behind the Modern Bride.
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Between the free-flowing champagne, the ballet and live music performances, the event illustrator, and the stunning urban venue of the Loft on Gresham.
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Thank you, Kate, for hosting.
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The thing that I found really interesting was the way Bianca of Spose a Bride shared how bridal fashion has evolved alongside changing cultural expectations and the access that people have had to inspiration and then the growing freedom for people to express their own personalities through what they wear on their wedding day.
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The modern bride didn't just appear out of nowhere with a Pinterest board and a pair of designer shoes.
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The way we think about bridal fashion has been shaped by decades of changing trends in art, um, culture, the demands of pre- and post-war times, influential people, of course, movie stars, royalty, and an umbrella across all that of expectations about what a wedding and a bride should look like.
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If we wind the clock back a little to the early 2000s, it was a time when we embraced a bit of a balance of classic bridal elegance and modern glamour.
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The strapless gowns were everywhere.
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There were luxurious fabrics, subtle embellishments and romantic details that gave traditional bridal looks a contemporary feel, a modern sensibility.
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And there was still a fairly recognizable idea of what a wedding dress looked like, you know, in the past.
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You might have had variations on the silhouette and the fabric and the embellishments, but the overall, as I said, expectation of a traditional white or ivory bridal gown, you know, ivory if you're a bit, you know, crazy, still remained pretty strong.
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And then as digital media became more influential, though, wedding inspiration also, of course, became much more accessible.
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So we started moving beyond that twice-yearly publication of a bridal magazine, you know, or the dresses that we saw in person, of course, towards a world where we could look at weddings happening anywhere at any time and refreshed several times a day.
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Suddenly, inspiration wasn't limited to what was available in your local bridal boutique or, you know, at what your friends had worn.
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And that really changed things for brides and their weddings in the 2010s.
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It's difficult to not think about Kate Middleton's wedding dress.
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So she had that iconic lace-sleeved gown, and that brought renewed attention and popularity, of course, to the whole traditional craftsmanship, the intricate lace, uh, and the regal romantic silhouette.
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It was a reminder of just how much influence a single high-profile wedding can have on what people want to wear for their own weddings.
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And alongside that traditional and elegant sort of look were other styles that were beginning to gain momentum.
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There were more minimalist gowns, bohemian type dresses, and then more fashion-forward designs that challenged that traditional idea of a wedding gown.
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And brides were increasingly able to draw from different eras, aesthetics, um, cultures, rather than feeling that there was just one dominant look that they were meant to be a part of and follow and you know embrace as their own.
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And social media basically accelerated all of this into hyperdrive.
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Pinterest has given us endless inspiration boards.
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Instagram brought designers, real weddings, and very carefully curated wedding imagery into our daily scrolling.
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You know, it's our daily diet, our consumption.
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And gradually the wedding industry became so much more visual.
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And, you know, it was pretty visual to start with.
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But weddings themselves increasingly have been presented as expressions of personal identity.
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The good news we have access to more ideas and more designers and more ways to express ourselves than ever before.
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But the downside is we also have a never-ending stream of images showing us what other people are doing.
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And that's where things start to get a little murky and a lot overwhelming.
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Jump to today, and there is no single definition of a bride, which is what unbridly is all about, of course.
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But also, this leaves a lot of people who are getting married in a position where there is almost too much choice, like a lot of white noise.
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And the thoughtful presentation at Spo's a bride highlighted just how diverse bridal fashion has become.
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Traditional ball gowns sit alongside sleek column dresses, colorful gowns and tailored suits, intimate weddings, uh, destination weddings, micro weddings, elopements, I mean, all of that have also helped to shift the focus towards personal expression and the experience of the day just as much as how it looks.
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The modern bride isn't defined by one particular dress shape, uh, a type of fabric or a trend.
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They're defined by choice.
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And I think that's a bloody brilliant thing.
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But as I said, having more choice doesn't necessarily make it easier to choose your path.
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In fact, when you're exposed to endless inspiration, it can become harder to work out what you actually want.
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Because when you see enough beautiful dresses, you can start convincing yourself that you want all of them, that you like all of them.
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And when a particular style is suddenly everywhere, it's easy to assume that it's the style you should be considering, even if it normally wouldn't be something that you'd ever wear.
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Which brings me to the question at the heart of today's episode: who's actually influencing your bridal style?
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Let's look at the people and places shaping what we see, what we think we want, and sometimes what we think we're supposed to want.
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So, first up, the most obvious influence is social media.
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TikTok, Instagram, Pinterest, they have all completely changed how we discover wedding fashion.
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You can find a dress from an independent designer on the other side of the frickin' world.
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You can watch someone try on 10 different gowns before you've even had breakfast.
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You can see a celebrity wedding one week.
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You know, sometimes they just release one photo.
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And by the end of the week, dozens of creators have recreated that look.
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And that's a phenomenal level of access.
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So here's something worth remembering about the way that these platforms work in the first place.
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And you already know this, you know, they're created and coded with an algorithm to show you more of what you engage with, because the whole purpose is to keep you on the platform.
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So if you save one fitted lace gown, you might see more fitted lace gowns, and in fact, you will, I know you will, in your feed.
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If you watch videos about, I don't know, minimalist wedding dresses, your feed will quickly become a parade of sleek satin silhouettes.
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Before long, you might start thinking that everyone is wearing that style, or that it's the current trend, or that's what you should be looking for, because all of a sudden it's everywhere.
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But you might not be seeing a real representation of bridal fashion because you're seeing a version of it that's been filtered through your own online preferences.
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You know, what you're swiping, what you're getting rid of, what you're quickly moving past will just be dropped from your feed.
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And there's a difference between seeing something repeatedly and genuinely loving it.
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In marketing, it's called the exposure effect.
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When you see something so frequently that you begin to associate a positive feeling towards it.
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So if your social media feed is making you feel more confused and inspired, it might be worth considering whether it's helping you discover your style or just simply narrowing your view of what's out there for you.
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Number two, celebrities and high-profile weddings.
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So, of course, celebrity weddings, they've influenced bridal fashion for generations.
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From royal weddings to celebrity ceremonies, viral fashion moments.
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People naturally look to public figures for inspiration.
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And there's nothing wrong with that.
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You might genuinely love a particular dress, uh, you know, either the way it's made or the way someone has styled their entire look.
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But celebrity weddings come with something that most of us don't have: shit tons of money and access to teams of stylists and designers and an infinite number of custom-made outfits, just for them, just for their body.
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What you're seeing is often a highly produced fashion moment and not necessarily something designed around the practicalities of your wedding.
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That doesn't mean that you can't take inspiration from it, of course.
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It just means that you don't have to, and probably can't, recreate the entire look.
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So maybe you love the neckline of a particular celebrity gown, but you prefer a simpler skirt.
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Or you could be drawn to the way that someone wears a veil rather than maybe the dress itself.
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It's really smart to take an element that you love and make it your own.
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But you don't need to become a different person just because you're getting married.
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Something my mum said to me in the lead up to my wedding, she made sure that I remembered.
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She said, Camille, if you're standing at the end of the aisle and you're about to walk down and your future husband can't quite tell if it's really you because you look so different, then you've taken a wrong turn somewhere.
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You still want to be you, but an elevated version of you.
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Number three, bridal designers and the wedding industry.
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So, of course, the people who design these gorgeous gowns and the wedding industry themselves, they decide what we see.
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They influence what we see.
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The designers, they interpret what's happening in the real world, cultural shifts, and they respond to changing tastes and introduce new ideas as well through their collections.
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There's bridal shows, fashion editorials, boutique displays, you know, what they choose to put in the windows of their boutiques all helps shape what you're seeing more of, and then what you think you want.
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And when a particular silhouette or a detail starts appearing across multiple collections, you know, lots of different designers around the world, it can quickly become associated with what's inverted, commas, fashionable, trending right now.
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But it's also great to remember that trends are not watertight, enforceable instructions about the only way.
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A designer's latest collection might feature dramatic oversized bows, um, dropped waist, structured corsetry, and you might love those details.
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Or you might look at them and think, yeah, that's nice, but that's not for me.
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And both responses are completely fine.
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You're not a bridal fashion critique person, you know, you're not a journalist.
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Your job isn't to identify and define the most fashionable dress of the season, the gown that's really trending.
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It's to find something that works for you, your body, your personality, your budget, and the kind of wedding that you're having.
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A dress doesn't become the right dress for you because it's new, expensive, or it's all over the bridal magazines.
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And likewise, a dress doesn't become the wrong dress because it isn't currently trending.
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Influencer for your friends, your family, the people you trust.
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Now let's talk about those who don't necessarily have millions of followers but might have considerably more influence over your decisions.
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Your mum or your sister, your friends, uh, your wedding party, the people who come dress shopping with you.
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These are the people whose opinions can matter enormously, particularly if they have strong ideas about what a wedding dress should look like.
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And in fact, Bianca mentioned to me privately just yesterday how their influence, the people who come with you to the dress shopping, the people who come with you to the boutique, can be the most destructive and unhelpful of all, and how it breaks her heart.
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That's why her and her team like protect their brides, like with everything they've got, and try to make sure that their wants and needs and preferences are protected in that space.
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She feels very passionately about that.
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So perhaps your mom has always imagined you in a traditional ball gown, or your best friend thinks you should wear something fitted because that's what she loves.
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And and the number of times I've heard I've heard people say, Oh, you've got to wear a veil.
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You're a bride.
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It's the only time you get to wear a veil, wear a veil.
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And it's like, I don't want a fucking veil.
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You know, sometimes their advice comes from a genuine place of love for you and wanting you to look and feel your best.
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And we love those people, by the way.
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But sometimes other people's idea of what looks beautiful or what is appropriate or feels right is not the same as yours.
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And sometimes the opinions of people we love can be harder to ignore than the trends we see online and even our own personal compass.
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This is when it helps to remember that you can value someone's opinion without letting them have the final say.
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Because you can listen, you consider their perspective, smile and nod.
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I love saying that.
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Just, you know, smile and nod.
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You can still choose something completely different because it's your fucking wedding.
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You don't have to wear the dress that makes someone else happy.
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And Bianca and her team, at Spose a Bridal, are trained to see these subtle conflicts as they happen in real time and diffuse them with as much care and professional guidance that they can.
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And influencer number five is the version of yourself you think you should be on your wedding day.
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And this is perhaps the most interesting influence of all, because it's the one we don't always recognize ourselves.
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So I'd love for you to have a think about it.
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What do you picture when you imagine yourself as a bride?
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Do you picture something romantic and I don't know, feminine, something sophisticated, a little bit more modern, something fashion forward?
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Do you see a suit?
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Is it relaxed and unconventional?
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And now, where did those ideas come from?
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Perhaps you've always loved fashion and you have a very clear sense of your personal style, but perhaps you've never actually worn anything formal, and the idea of a wedding dress feels completely foreign to you and it makes you a bit panicky.
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Maybe you love wearing black.
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I can relate to that.
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In fact, I think it's my biggest regret of my wedding that I wore sort of an off white colour and it was sort of a bridal gown.
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I love wearing black.
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Or is it tailored clothing?
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Is that what you feel strong in?
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Because somewhere along the line, you might have absorbed the idea that your wedding day is the one day that you're supposed to transform yourself into a completely different version of you.
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And so you start looking for a dress that feels like the bride that you think you should be rather than the person you actually are.
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I want you to consider something else.
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Getting married doesn't mean you need to reinvent your entire appearance.
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It doesn't.
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You can absolutely use your wedding as an opportunity to dress up.
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You can experiment with fashion, you can wear something you wouldn't normally choose.
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Fuck it.
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That can be part of the fun.
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But you don't have to become a stranger to yourself in order to look like a bride.
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There is no dress code for being a bride beyond what you decide it means to you.
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If you're surrounded by all these influences, how do you work out what you actually want?
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Excellent question.
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Here are five things I'd suggest doing before you commit to a particular look.
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Number one, start with your existing personal style.
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Before you spend hours, and you can waste a lot of time scrolling through bridal inspiration.
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Think about the clothes that you already love wearing.
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What do you reach for when you want to feel confident?
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Do you prefer clean lines, simple shapes, tailored stuff, or do you love color, texture, statement pieces?
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Are you drawn to vintage?
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Are you a suit person?
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Do you like lace or something a little more unconventional?
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Think about the outfits you feel most like yourself in.
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And of course, you don't have to translate your everyday wardrobe directly into a wedding outfit, but it can give you some useful clues about what makes you feel most comfortable and confident because you're wearing it every day.
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If you never wear anything fitted, you might discover that a structured ball gown feels more natural to you than a body-hugging mermaid dress.
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Or perhaps you love minimalist fashion in everyday life, but you want to experiment with a dramatic silhouette for your wedding.
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Doesn't matter.
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Either way, just start with what you know about yourself rather than starting by looking outward.
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Look inward.
00:24:33.039 --> 00:24:33.920
That's the tip.
00:24:34.079 --> 00:24:35.440
Look inward first.
00:24:36.559 --> 00:24:43.440
And then number two, look for patterns in your inspiration, not just individual dresses.
00:24:43.680 --> 00:24:53.920
So once you've had a look at yourself and you've started saving images, go back, have a look through them and try and find common themes.
00:24:54.319 --> 00:24:56.799
And don't just ask yourself, you know, do I like this one?
00:24:56.960 --> 00:24:57.920
Do I like that one?
00:24:58.079 --> 00:25:05.039
Like literally, ask yourself what it is that you like about that particular gown, that particular outfit.
00:25:05.279 --> 00:25:06.799
Is it the neckline?
00:25:07.599 --> 00:25:09.200
Is it the beautiful fabric?
00:25:09.359 --> 00:25:10.319
Is it the color?
00:25:10.559 --> 00:25:12.480
Is it the way it falls?
00:25:12.799 --> 00:25:16.240
Is it the impression it gives?
00:25:16.559 --> 00:25:19.519
Modern, romantic, relaxed, dramatic.
00:25:19.920 --> 00:25:29.119
You might discover that although your saved images look completely different, they could share some common elements that are, as I said, like little clues.
00:25:29.279 --> 00:25:32.799
Perhaps you keep saving dresses with really interesting backs.
00:25:32.960 --> 00:25:38.400
The necklines might all be square or a lot of brickade and textured fabrics.
00:25:38.640 --> 00:25:43.039
These patterns will tell you a lot about your personal style.
00:25:43.200 --> 00:25:48.880
And if your inspiration board is genuinely all over the place, that's fine too.
00:25:49.200 --> 00:25:54.799
You don't have to settle on one look, one aesthetic immediately.
00:25:55.039 --> 00:25:58.720
You're exploring here, you're not taking a test on it.
00:25:58.960 --> 00:26:05.680
Number three, separate what you love from what you feel you should want.
00:26:05.920 --> 00:26:08.000
And this is the big divide.
00:26:08.240 --> 00:26:14.880
When you find yourself drawn to a particular look, you stop and you ask yourself why.
00:26:15.920 --> 00:26:18.079
Do you genuinely love it?
00:26:18.240 --> 00:26:23.039
Does it feel exciting, interesting, something you'd be thrilled to wear?
00:26:23.359 --> 00:26:26.960
Or do you like it because you've seen it everywhere?
00:26:27.200 --> 00:26:33.440
Because someone you admire wore it, or because you think it's what a bride is supposed to choose.
00:26:34.000 --> 00:26:35.759
And sometimes you just like a dress.
00:26:35.920 --> 00:26:36.960
That's enough too.
00:26:37.119 --> 00:26:47.839
But if you notice that you're making choices because you're worried about disappointing someone, which is really like so super common, it's worth taking a step back.
00:26:48.559 --> 00:26:53.839
And you don't have to choose an unconventional outfit to prove that you're an individual either.
00:26:54.000 --> 00:26:59.359
You know, if your dream wedding dress is traditional, fucking go for it.
00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:09.119
The point isn't to reject trends or tradition, it's to decide which parts of them you actually want and it's your conscious choice.
00:27:09.279 --> 00:27:09.920
Yeah.
00:27:10.720 --> 00:27:16.079
Number four, consider your actual wedding, not just the Pinterest version of it.
00:27:16.319 --> 00:27:19.599
So your outfit doesn't exist in isolation.
00:27:19.759 --> 00:27:29.680
It's part of an entire day, sometimes more, that you're going to experience in real life on this planet with the weather that we have, with gravity.
00:27:29.759 --> 00:27:30.480
You know what I mean?
00:27:30.640 --> 00:27:38.799
So think about your venue, the season, the weather, the kind of celebration you're planning, and how you want to spend your time.
00:27:38.960 --> 00:27:47.680
You know, it's wonderful to have this course at like cinching you in to the point where you can barely breathe and you definitely can't eat.
00:27:48.000 --> 00:27:51.200
And then you've got, you know, food trucks.
00:27:51.519 --> 00:27:53.759
Like, what are you going to do?
00:27:53.920 --> 00:27:54.960
What are you going to do?
00:27:55.200 --> 00:27:58.400
Are you having a formal celebration in a grand venue?
00:27:58.640 --> 00:28:00.799
Is it an intimate garden wedding?
00:28:01.039 --> 00:28:04.079
Relax beach ceremony followed by a long lunch.
00:28:04.240 --> 00:28:10.960
You know, is it an elopement where you'll be walking around in the city or on the side of a cliff?
00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:16.880
Your outfit needs to work for the experience that you're creating.
00:28:17.200 --> 00:28:25.440
And of course, it doesn't mean that you can't wear a dramatic ball gown to a backyard wedding if you really wanted to.
00:28:26.160 --> 00:28:29.200
You can, but have a think about it.
00:28:29.359 --> 00:28:37.680
Consider how you want to move, sit, dance, eat, walk, just feel throughout the day.
00:28:38.400 --> 00:28:42.720
And be honest about your budget too, because there's just it's heartbreaking.
00:28:42.799 --> 00:28:49.279
There is no point falling in love with a look that requires you to drop money you don't have.
00:28:49.839 --> 00:28:56.000
The goal is to find something that works in your real life, not just something that photographs beautifully.
00:28:56.240 --> 00:29:02.240
And then point number five, give yourself permission to choose differently.
00:29:02.640 --> 00:29:05.680
Remember, you're allowed to change your mind.
00:29:06.000 --> 00:29:12.160
You might go into your first bridal appointment convinced you want lace sleeves or whatever.
00:29:12.720 --> 00:29:18.160
You might think you want a traditional dress and you realize you feel much more comfortable in a suit.
00:29:18.400 --> 00:29:21.920
You might try on the dress that you've been saving for.
00:29:22.559 --> 00:29:25.920
And, you know, you stand there and you go, Yeah, it's beautiful.
00:29:26.160 --> 00:29:27.599
It's just not me.
00:29:28.079 --> 00:29:29.839
It's not a failure.
00:29:30.079 --> 00:29:32.559
That is just useful information.
00:29:33.119 --> 00:29:35.039
And try different silhouettes.
00:29:35.200 --> 00:29:40.000
Be open to suggestions from a knowledgeable bridal consultant or bridal stylist.
00:29:40.160 --> 00:29:52.720
And if you bring people along to help you choose, please make sure they're people who will support you in exploring your options rather than people who have already decided what you should wear.
00:29:52.960 --> 00:30:02.720
It doesn't help because you don't have to have your entire bridal identity figured out before you walk into a boutique.
00:30:02.880 --> 00:30:09.759
You just need enough confidence in your own preferences to recognize when something feels right for you.
00:30:10.400 --> 00:30:19.920
So after looking at the history of bridal fashion and all the people influencing what we see today, here's what I'd love you to take away from this episode.
00:30:20.240 --> 00:30:25.759
We have more choice than ever when it comes to what we wear on our wedding day.
00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:32.640
And we can draw inspiration from different decades, designers, cultures, aesthetics.
00:30:32.880 --> 00:30:37.119
We can embrace tradition, challenge it, fuck it off.
00:30:37.279 --> 00:30:38.799
We can do whatever we want.
00:30:38.960 --> 00:30:41.039
And that's a wonderful thing.
00:30:41.359 --> 00:30:51.680
But more choice can sometimes lead to indecision because with more trends to consider, more images, there are more opinions too.
00:30:51.839 --> 00:31:02.880
It's worth remembering that the most fashionable dress, the most expensive gown, the one that gets the most likes isn't automatically the right outfit for you.
00:31:03.119 --> 00:31:10.079
You don't have to be a boho bride, a minimalist bride, a romantic bride, a fashion forward bride.
00:31:10.319 --> 00:31:11.920
It's not Barbie.
00:31:12.400 --> 00:31:16.559
You can be a little bit of everything, you can change your fucking mind.
00:31:16.720 --> 00:31:25.519
You can wear something untraditional because you love it, or something white and frilly because it feels more like you.
00:31:26.000 --> 00:31:30.160
The question isn't whether your wedding outfit reflects the latest trends.
00:31:30.319 --> 00:31:38.480
It's whether you look in the mirror and you feel like yourself in a way that is right for this particular moment in your life.
00:31:38.799 --> 00:31:44.160
Inspiration is there to give you ideas, not instructions.
00:31:44.559 --> 00:31:57.279
Take what you love, leave what you don't, and please don't let an algorithm or a celebrity or a designer, someone on TikTok, convince you that there's only one way to look like a bride.
00:31:57.519 --> 00:32:02.960
And if you're currently trying to work out your bridal style, I'd love you to take a step back from scrolling.
00:32:03.119 --> 00:32:14.160
Spend a little time thinking about what you actually love, what makes you feel confident, because the best bridal style isn't the one that's trending, it's the one that feels like you.
00:32:15.359 --> 00:32:22.880
If you found this episode helpful, please share it with someone who's currently planning their wedding and trying to work out what the fuck to wear.
00:32:23.039 --> 00:32:30.720
And if you're enjoying the podcast, leaving a rating or review is a brilliant way to help other couples find us too.
00:32:30.960 --> 00:32:33.839
And until next time, celebrate your people.
00:32:56.000 --> 00:33:00.480
Thanks so much for listening, and remember, weddings are a team sport.
00:33:00.640 --> 00:33:01.759
Catch it soon.
00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:09.279
Have you ever seen a wedding dress, absolutely loved it, saved it, and then found yourself looking at something completely different about a week later?
00:00:09.599 --> 00:00:14.400
Have you walked into a bridal boutique convinced you wanted one particular style?
00:00:14.640 --> 00:00:23.280
And you asked for that style and you tried on, and then you walk out wondering if you actually liked any of the dresses you tried on.
00:00:23.679 --> 00:00:30.160
Like they they were the ones you asked for, they're in the style that you thought you wanted, but they're all a bit meh.
00:00:30.800 --> 00:00:41.359
How much of what you think you want to wear on your wedding day is genuinely your personal style versus what you've been told a bride is supposed to look like?
00:00:41.759 --> 00:00:57.920
Because between Pinterest, TikTok, celebrity weddings, bridal designers, your mum, your friends, and approximately 47,000 people telling you what's trending, working out what you actually like can get surprisingly difficult.
00:00:58.479 --> 00:00:59.920
It's complicated.
00:01:00.560 --> 00:01:12.319
Yesterday I went along to the Sposer Bride Show, where I learned about the historical influences behind the modern bride and how bridal fashion has evolved into what we see today.
00:01:12.560 --> 00:01:19.519
And it got me thinking about just how much influence other people have over the way we imagine ourselves on our wedding day.
00:01:19.760 --> 00:01:37.760
So today I'm looking at who's really influencing your bridal style, how those influences have changed over the years, and how you can take inspiration from the world around you without ending up in a wedding dress that looks amazing in the catalogue, but just doesn't feel like you.
00:01:38.159 --> 00:01:50.560
And stick around to the end because I've got five practical ways to work out your own bridal style, even if your current mood board looks like several completely different weddings have exploded on there.
00:01:50.799 --> 00:01:52.319
Let's get stuck into it.
00:01:52.640 --> 00:02:06.879
Unbridly is a community of pro-wedding vendors who believe in freedom and integrity in weddings, giving you options, solutions, tips, and tricks to create the experience and memories that you and your fiance really want and deserve.
00:02:07.040 --> 00:02:14.000
Because we believe that weddings are a team sport with how-tos, stories and interviews with recently married couples.
00:02:14.159 --> 00:02:19.439
We find out what went right and what they've changed if they could go back and do it all over again.
00:02:19.599 --> 00:02:23.280
I'm Camille and welcome to the Unbridly Podcast.
00:02:23.759 --> 00:02:27.919
Now, when I say bridal style, I'm not just talking about wedding gowns.
00:02:28.080 --> 00:02:30.479
What I'm talking about is the whole look.
00:02:30.639 --> 00:02:33.280
You know, yes, it's what you wear, it's your clothes.
00:02:33.520 --> 00:02:55.919
A lot of the times it's the wedding gown, but it's also how you style yourself and the details that you choose, you know, whether it's your hairstyle, any accessories with that, any jewelry, any other adornments, you know, your shoes, the whole thing, the way you want to feel when you walk into your wedding.
00:02:56.159 --> 00:03:06.319
And although I'm going to spend a bit of time talking about wedding fashion, I think there's a much bigger conversation here about how we make decisions when we're planning a wedding.
00:03:06.560 --> 00:03:09.919
Because we're constantly being shown what a wedding should look like.
00:03:10.080 --> 00:03:16.960
And when you're surrounded by beautiful images and trends and people with opinions, it's no shock, really.
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It can be difficult to distinguish between what genuinely appeals to you and what you've simply become accustomed to seeing.
00:03:25.599 --> 00:03:27.520
So let's start with a little history.
00:03:27.680 --> 00:03:29.039
How do we get here?
00:03:29.680 --> 00:03:37.360
Yesterday I attended the Sposer Bride Show, which was called The Historical DNA Behind the Modern Bride.
00:03:37.759 --> 00:03:48.319
Between the free-flowing champagne, the ballet and live music performances, the event illustrator, and the stunning urban venue of the Loft on Gresham.
00:03:48.639 --> 00:03:50.479
Thank you, Kate, for hosting.
00:03:50.719 --> 00:04:13.439
The thing that I found really interesting was the way Bianca of Spose a Bride shared how bridal fashion has evolved alongside changing cultural expectations and the access that people have had to inspiration and then the growing freedom for people to express their own personalities through what they wear on their wedding day.
00:04:13.680 --> 00:04:19.839
The modern bride didn't just appear out of nowhere with a Pinterest board and a pair of designer shoes.
00:04:20.079 --> 00:04:42.720
The way we think about bridal fashion has been shaped by decades of changing trends in art, um, culture, the demands of pre- and post-war times, influential people, of course, movie stars, royalty, and an umbrella across all that of expectations about what a wedding and a bride should look like.
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If we wind the clock back a little to the early 2000s, it was a time when we embraced a bit of a balance of classic bridal elegance and modern glamour.
00:04:53.839 --> 00:04:56.240
The strapless gowns were everywhere.
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There were luxurious fabrics, subtle embellishments and romantic details that gave traditional bridal looks a contemporary feel, a modern sensibility.
00:05:08.240 --> 00:05:13.920
And there was still a fairly recognizable idea of what a wedding dress looked like, you know, in the past.
00:05:14.079 --> 00:05:29.920
You might have had variations on the silhouette and the fabric and the embellishments, but the overall, as I said, expectation of a traditional white or ivory bridal gown, you know, ivory if you're a bit, you know, crazy, still remained pretty strong.
00:05:30.160 --> 00:05:38.959
And then as digital media became more influential, though, wedding inspiration also, of course, became much more accessible.
00:05:39.199 --> 00:05:57.839
So we started moving beyond that twice-yearly publication of a bridal magazine, you know, or the dresses that we saw in person, of course, towards a world where we could look at weddings happening anywhere at any time and refreshed several times a day.
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Suddenly, inspiration wasn't limited to what was available in your local bridal boutique or, you know, at what your friends had worn.
00:06:06.639 --> 00:06:13.360
And that really changed things for brides and their weddings in the 2010s.
00:06:13.600 --> 00:06:18.480
It's difficult to not think about Kate Middleton's wedding dress.
00:06:18.720 --> 00:06:35.439
So she had that iconic lace-sleeved gown, and that brought renewed attention and popularity, of course, to the whole traditional craftsmanship, the intricate lace, uh, and the regal romantic silhouette.
00:06:35.920 --> 00:06:44.240
It was a reminder of just how much influence a single high-profile wedding can have on what people want to wear for their own weddings.
00:06:44.639 --> 00:06:51.439
And alongside that traditional and elegant sort of look were other styles that were beginning to gain momentum.
00:06:51.920 --> 00:07:05.759
There were more minimalist gowns, bohemian type dresses, and then more fashion-forward designs that challenged that traditional idea of a wedding gown.
00:07:05.920 --> 00:07:22.160
And brides were increasingly able to draw from different eras, aesthetics, um, cultures, rather than feeling that there was just one dominant look that they were meant to be a part of and follow and you know embrace as their own.
00:07:22.480 --> 00:07:28.319
And social media basically accelerated all of this into hyperdrive.
00:07:28.959 --> 00:07:32.879
Pinterest has given us endless inspiration boards.
00:07:33.199 --> 00:07:40.959
Instagram brought designers, real weddings, and very carefully curated wedding imagery into our daily scrolling.
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You know, it's our daily diet, our consumption.
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And gradually the wedding industry became so much more visual.
00:07:48.959 --> 00:07:51.040
And, you know, it was pretty visual to start with.
00:07:51.199 --> 00:07:58.399
But weddings themselves increasingly have been presented as expressions of personal identity.
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The good news we have access to more ideas and more designers and more ways to express ourselves than ever before.
00:08:08.879 --> 00:08:17.199
But the downside is we also have a never-ending stream of images showing us what other people are doing.
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And that's where things start to get a little murky and a lot overwhelming.
00:08:23.279 --> 00:08:31.360
Jump to today, and there is no single definition of a bride, which is what unbridly is all about, of course.
00:08:31.680 --> 00:08:41.919
But also, this leaves a lot of people who are getting married in a position where there is almost too much choice, like a lot of white noise.
00:08:42.480 --> 00:08:49.759
And the thoughtful presentation at Spo's a bride highlighted just how diverse bridal fashion has become.
00:08:50.080 --> 00:09:14.480
Traditional ball gowns sit alongside sleek column dresses, colorful gowns and tailored suits, intimate weddings, uh, destination weddings, micro weddings, elopements, I mean, all of that have also helped to shift the focus towards personal expression and the experience of the day just as much as how it looks.
00:09:14.799 --> 00:09:21.840
The modern bride isn't defined by one particular dress shape, uh, a type of fabric or a trend.
00:09:22.320 --> 00:09:24.399
They're defined by choice.
00:09:24.639 --> 00:09:27.759
And I think that's a bloody brilliant thing.
00:09:28.080 --> 00:09:32.799
But as I said, having more choice doesn't necessarily make it easier to choose your path.
00:09:33.039 --> 00:09:41.600
In fact, when you're exposed to endless inspiration, it can become harder to work out what you actually want.
00:09:42.480 --> 00:09:49.519
Because when you see enough beautiful dresses, you can start convincing yourself that you want all of them, that you like all of them.
00:09:49.759 --> 00:10:01.440
And when a particular style is suddenly everywhere, it's easy to assume that it's the style you should be considering, even if it normally wouldn't be something that you'd ever wear.
00:10:01.840 --> 00:10:09.600
Which brings me to the question at the heart of today's episode: who's actually influencing your bridal style?
00:10:09.840 --> 00:10:18.720
Let's look at the people and places shaping what we see, what we think we want, and sometimes what we think we're supposed to want.
00:10:19.200 --> 00:10:24.320
So, first up, the most obvious influence is social media.
00:10:24.559 --> 00:10:31.200
TikTok, Instagram, Pinterest, they have all completely changed how we discover wedding fashion.
00:10:31.519 --> 00:10:37.679
You can find a dress from an independent designer on the other side of the frickin' world.
00:10:38.000 --> 00:10:42.720
You can watch someone try on 10 different gowns before you've even had breakfast.
00:10:42.960 --> 00:10:45.279
You can see a celebrity wedding one week.
00:10:45.440 --> 00:10:48.000
You know, sometimes they just release one photo.
00:10:48.320 --> 00:10:54.320
And by the end of the week, dozens of creators have recreated that look.
00:10:54.639 --> 00:10:58.000
And that's a phenomenal level of access.
00:10:58.559 --> 00:11:03.679
So here's something worth remembering about the way that these platforms work in the first place.
00:11:04.000 --> 00:11:15.679
And you already know this, you know, they're created and coded with an algorithm to show you more of what you engage with, because the whole purpose is to keep you on the platform.
00:11:16.080 --> 00:11:25.519
So if you save one fitted lace gown, you might see more fitted lace gowns, and in fact, you will, I know you will, in your feed.
00:11:25.759 --> 00:11:36.799
If you watch videos about, I don't know, minimalist wedding dresses, your feed will quickly become a parade of sleek satin silhouettes.
00:11:37.039 --> 00:11:48.320
Before long, you might start thinking that everyone is wearing that style, or that it's the current trend, or that's what you should be looking for, because all of a sudden it's everywhere.
00:11:48.639 --> 00:11:58.000
But you might not be seeing a real representation of bridal fashion because you're seeing a version of it that's been filtered through your own online preferences.
00:11:58.080 --> 00:12:05.120
You know, what you're swiping, what you're getting rid of, what you're quickly moving past will just be dropped from your feed.
00:12:05.279 --> 00:12:10.879
And there's a difference between seeing something repeatedly and genuinely loving it.
00:12:11.120 --> 00:12:13.919
In marketing, it's called the exposure effect.
00:12:14.159 --> 00:12:20.240
When you see something so frequently that you begin to associate a positive feeling towards it.
00:12:20.480 --> 00:12:33.759
So if your social media feed is making you feel more confused and inspired, it might be worth considering whether it's helping you discover your style or just simply narrowing your view of what's out there for you.
00:12:34.240 --> 00:12:38.080
Number two, celebrities and high-profile weddings.
00:12:38.320 --> 00:12:43.120
So, of course, celebrity weddings, they've influenced bridal fashion for generations.
00:12:43.679 --> 00:12:48.559
From royal weddings to celebrity ceremonies, viral fashion moments.
00:12:48.879 --> 00:12:53.039
People naturally look to public figures for inspiration.
00:12:53.200 --> 00:12:54.720
And there's nothing wrong with that.
00:12:54.960 --> 00:13:02.879
You might genuinely love a particular dress, uh, you know, either the way it's made or the way someone has styled their entire look.
00:13:03.279 --> 00:13:19.039
But celebrity weddings come with something that most of us don't have: shit tons of money and access to teams of stylists and designers and an infinite number of custom-made outfits, just for them, just for their body.
00:13:19.360 --> 00:13:29.039
What you're seeing is often a highly produced fashion moment and not necessarily something designed around the practicalities of your wedding.
00:13:29.279 --> 00:13:32.159
That doesn't mean that you can't take inspiration from it, of course.
00:13:32.240 --> 00:13:37.440
It just means that you don't have to, and probably can't, recreate the entire look.
00:13:37.759 --> 00:13:45.120
So maybe you love the neckline of a particular celebrity gown, but you prefer a simpler skirt.
00:13:45.440 --> 00:13:51.360
Or you could be drawn to the way that someone wears a veil rather than maybe the dress itself.
00:13:51.600 --> 00:13:55.919
It's really smart to take an element that you love and make it your own.
00:13:56.159 --> 00:14:00.240
But you don't need to become a different person just because you're getting married.
00:14:00.559 --> 00:14:05.840
Something my mum said to me in the lead up to my wedding, she made sure that I remembered.
00:14:06.159 --> 00:14:21.120
She said, Camille, if you're standing at the end of the aisle and you're about to walk down and your future husband can't quite tell if it's really you because you look so different, then you've taken a wrong turn somewhere.
00:14:21.440 --> 00:14:26.320
You still want to be you, but an elevated version of you.
00:14:27.120 --> 00:14:31.200
Number three, bridal designers and the wedding industry.
00:14:31.519 --> 00:14:39.600
So, of course, the people who design these gorgeous gowns and the wedding industry themselves, they decide what we see.
00:14:39.759 --> 00:14:41.440
They influence what we see.
00:14:41.759 --> 00:14:54.000
The designers, they interpret what's happening in the real world, cultural shifts, and they respond to changing tastes and introduce new ideas as well through their collections.
00:14:54.240 --> 00:15:06.879
There's bridal shows, fashion editorials, boutique displays, you know, what they choose to put in the windows of their boutiques all helps shape what you're seeing more of, and then what you think you want.
00:15:07.200 --> 00:15:23.440
And when a particular silhouette or a detail starts appearing across multiple collections, you know, lots of different designers around the world, it can quickly become associated with what's inverted, commas, fashionable, trending right now.
00:15:23.919 --> 00:15:32.720
But it's also great to remember that trends are not watertight, enforceable instructions about the only way.
00:15:33.440 --> 00:15:46.879
A designer's latest collection might feature dramatic oversized bows, um, dropped waist, structured corsetry, and you might love those details.
00:15:47.279 --> 00:15:52.799
Or you might look at them and think, yeah, that's nice, but that's not for me.
00:15:53.840 --> 00:15:57.039
And both responses are completely fine.
00:15:57.360 --> 00:16:04.159
You're not a bridal fashion critique person, you know, you're not a journalist.
00:16:04.320 --> 00:16:14.480
Your job isn't to identify and define the most fashionable dress of the season, the gown that's really trending.
00:16:14.720 --> 00:16:25.519
It's to find something that works for you, your body, your personality, your budget, and the kind of wedding that you're having.
00:16:25.840 --> 00:16:32.559
A dress doesn't become the right dress for you because it's new, expensive, or it's all over the bridal magazines.
00:16:33.120 --> 00:16:39.120
And likewise, a dress doesn't become the wrong dress because it isn't currently trending.
00:16:43.360 --> 00:16:46.159
You still haven't written your vows yet, have you?
00:16:46.480 --> 00:16:47.600
Let me help.
00:16:47.840 --> 00:17:02.000
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00:17:26.720 --> 00:17:40.000
So if you don't know how or even where to start, if you've been googling your little heart out, or if you've been calling them wedding vows, A E-I-O-U, this ebook is for you.
00:17:40.559 --> 00:17:46.319
Included in there are also some bonus secrets for getting the most out of your wedding ceremony.
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So make sure you download your copy right now and get right your wedding vows crossed off your to-do list today.
00:17:54.319 --> 00:17:56.640
The link is in the show notes.
00:17:58.640 --> 00:18:03.839
Influencer for your friends, your family, the people you trust.
00:18:04.400 --> 00:18:12.720
Now let's talk about those who don't necessarily have millions of followers but might have considerably more influence over your decisions.
00:18:13.119 --> 00:18:21.039
Your mum or your sister, your friends, uh, your wedding party, the people who come dress shopping with you.
00:18:21.440 --> 00:18:30.720
These are the people whose opinions can matter enormously, particularly if they have strong ideas about what a wedding dress should look like.
00:18:31.039 --> 00:18:48.400
And in fact, Bianca mentioned to me privately just yesterday how their influence, the people who come with you to the dress shopping, the people who come with you to the boutique, can be the most destructive and unhelpful of all, and how it breaks her heart.
00:18:48.799 --> 00:19:02.880
That's why her and her team like protect their brides, like with everything they've got, and try to make sure that their wants and needs and preferences are protected in that space.
00:19:03.119 --> 00:19:05.440
She feels very passionately about that.
00:19:05.759 --> 00:19:15.920
So perhaps your mom has always imagined you in a traditional ball gown, or your best friend thinks you should wear something fitted because that's what she loves.
00:19:16.160 --> 00:19:20.720
And and the number of times I've heard I've heard people say, Oh, you've got to wear a veil.
00:19:20.880 --> 00:19:22.079
You're a bride.
00:19:22.319 --> 00:19:25.359
It's the only time you get to wear a veil, wear a veil.
00:19:25.599 --> 00:19:28.079
And it's like, I don't want a fucking veil.
00:19:28.319 --> 00:19:34.960
You know, sometimes their advice comes from a genuine place of love for you and wanting you to look and feel your best.
00:19:35.039 --> 00:19:37.279
And we love those people, by the way.
00:19:37.599 --> 00:19:47.359
But sometimes other people's idea of what looks beautiful or what is appropriate or feels right is not the same as yours.
00:19:48.319 --> 00:19:56.559
And sometimes the opinions of people we love can be harder to ignore than the trends we see online and even our own personal compass.
00:19:57.039 --> 00:20:03.839
This is when it helps to remember that you can value someone's opinion without letting them have the final say.
00:20:04.640 --> 00:20:08.960
Because you can listen, you consider their perspective, smile and nod.
00:20:09.119 --> 00:20:10.000
I love saying that.
00:20:10.160 --> 00:20:12.319
Just, you know, smile and nod.
00:20:12.640 --> 00:20:17.359
You can still choose something completely different because it's your fucking wedding.
00:20:17.920 --> 00:20:22.559
You don't have to wear the dress that makes someone else happy.
00:20:22.880 --> 00:20:35.039
And Bianca and her team, at Spose a Bridal, are trained to see these subtle conflicts as they happen in real time and diffuse them with as much care and professional guidance that they can.
00:20:35.759 --> 00:20:42.960
And influencer number five is the version of yourself you think you should be on your wedding day.
00:20:43.680 --> 00:20:50.000
And this is perhaps the most interesting influence of all, because it's the one we don't always recognize ourselves.
00:20:50.240 --> 00:20:52.720
So I'd love for you to have a think about it.
00:20:52.960 --> 00:20:56.640
What do you picture when you imagine yourself as a bride?
00:20:57.599 --> 00:21:09.119
Do you picture something romantic and I don't know, feminine, something sophisticated, a little bit more modern, something fashion forward?
00:21:09.440 --> 00:21:11.200
Do you see a suit?
00:21:11.680 --> 00:21:14.000
Is it relaxed and unconventional?
00:21:15.279 --> 00:21:18.240
And now, where did those ideas come from?
00:21:19.680 --> 00:21:34.079
Perhaps you've always loved fashion and you have a very clear sense of your personal style, but perhaps you've never actually worn anything formal, and the idea of a wedding dress feels completely foreign to you and it makes you a bit panicky.
00:21:34.480 --> 00:21:36.000
Maybe you love wearing black.
00:21:36.400 --> 00:21:37.759
I can relate to that.
00:21:38.480 --> 00:21:50.319
In fact, I think it's my biggest regret of my wedding that I wore sort of an off white colour and it was sort of a bridal gown.
00:21:50.640 --> 00:21:52.000
I love wearing black.
00:21:55.920 --> 00:21:57.680
Or is it tailored clothing?
00:21:57.839 --> 00:21:59.599
Is that what you feel strong in?
00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:10.960
Because somewhere along the line, you might have absorbed the idea that your wedding day is the one day that you're supposed to transform yourself into a completely different version of you.
00:22:11.119 --> 00:22:18.559
And so you start looking for a dress that feels like the bride that you think you should be rather than the person you actually are.
00:22:19.039 --> 00:22:21.680
I want you to consider something else.
00:22:22.319 --> 00:22:27.839
Getting married doesn't mean you need to reinvent your entire appearance.
00:22:29.279 --> 00:22:30.319
It doesn't.
00:22:31.200 --> 00:22:34.960
You can absolutely use your wedding as an opportunity to dress up.
00:22:35.119 --> 00:22:38.640
You can experiment with fashion, you can wear something you wouldn't normally choose.
00:22:38.960 --> 00:22:39.759
Fuck it.
00:22:39.920 --> 00:22:41.519
That can be part of the fun.
00:22:42.240 --> 00:22:48.559
But you don't have to become a stranger to yourself in order to look like a bride.
00:22:48.880 --> 00:22:55.440
There is no dress code for being a bride beyond what you decide it means to you.
00:22:56.960 --> 00:23:03.200
If you're surrounded by all these influences, how do you work out what you actually want?
00:23:03.839 --> 00:23:04.960
Excellent question.
00:23:05.119 --> 00:23:10.799
Here are five things I'd suggest doing before you commit to a particular look.
00:23:11.599 --> 00:23:16.720
Number one, start with your existing personal style.
00:23:16.960 --> 00:23:24.640
Before you spend hours, and you can waste a lot of time scrolling through bridal inspiration.
00:23:24.880 --> 00:23:28.559
Think about the clothes that you already love wearing.
00:23:28.880 --> 00:23:32.240
What do you reach for when you want to feel confident?
00:23:32.720 --> 00:23:41.200
Do you prefer clean lines, simple shapes, tailored stuff, or do you love color, texture, statement pieces?
00:23:41.440 --> 00:23:43.279
Are you drawn to vintage?
00:23:43.440 --> 00:23:44.960
Are you a suit person?
00:23:45.279 --> 00:23:49.920
Do you like lace or something a little more unconventional?
00:23:50.319 --> 00:23:53.759
Think about the outfits you feel most like yourself in.
00:23:53.920 --> 00:24:08.400
And of course, you don't have to translate your everyday wardrobe directly into a wedding outfit, but it can give you some useful clues about what makes you feel most comfortable and confident because you're wearing it every day.
00:24:08.720 --> 00:24:17.839
If you never wear anything fitted, you might discover that a structured ball gown feels more natural to you than a body-hugging mermaid dress.
00:24:18.079 --> 00:24:24.880
Or perhaps you love minimalist fashion in everyday life, but you want to experiment with a dramatic silhouette for your wedding.
00:24:25.039 --> 00:24:25.839
Doesn't matter.
00:24:26.000 --> 00:24:31.920
Either way, just start with what you know about yourself rather than starting by looking outward.
00:24:32.079 --> 00:24:32.880
Look inward.
00:24:33.039 --> 00:24:33.920
That's the tip.
00:24:34.079 --> 00:24:35.440
Look inward first.
00:24:36.559 --> 00:24:43.440
And then number two, look for patterns in your inspiration, not just individual dresses.
00:24:43.680 --> 00:24:53.920
So once you've had a look at yourself and you've started saving images, go back, have a look through them and try and find common themes.
00:24:54.319 --> 00:24:56.799
And don't just ask yourself, you know, do I like this one?
00:24:56.960 --> 00:24:57.920
Do I like that one?
00:24:58.079 --> 00:25:05.039
Like literally, ask yourself what it is that you like about that particular gown, that particular outfit.
00:25:05.279 --> 00:25:06.799
Is it the neckline?
00:25:07.599 --> 00:25:09.200
Is it the beautiful fabric?
00:25:09.359 --> 00:25:10.319
Is it the color?
00:25:10.559 --> 00:25:12.480
Is it the way it falls?
00:25:12.799 --> 00:25:16.240
Is it the impression it gives?
00:25:16.559 --> 00:25:19.519
Modern, romantic, relaxed, dramatic.
00:25:19.920 --> 00:25:29.119
You might discover that although your saved images look completely different, they could share some common elements that are, as I said, like little clues.
00:25:29.279 --> 00:25:32.799
Perhaps you keep saving dresses with really interesting backs.
00:25:32.960 --> 00:25:38.400
The necklines might all be square or a lot of brickade and textured fabrics.
00:25:38.640 --> 00:25:43.039
These patterns will tell you a lot about your personal style.
00:25:43.200 --> 00:25:48.880
And if your inspiration board is genuinely all over the place, that's fine too.
00:25:49.200 --> 00:25:54.799
You don't have to settle on one look, one aesthetic immediately.
00:25:55.039 --> 00:25:58.720
You're exploring here, you're not taking a test on it.
00:25:58.960 --> 00:26:05.680
Number three, separate what you love from what you feel you should want.
00:26:05.920 --> 00:26:08.000
And this is the big divide.
00:26:08.240 --> 00:26:14.880
When you find yourself drawn to a particular look, you stop and you ask yourself why.
00:26:15.920 --> 00:26:18.079
Do you genuinely love it?
00:26:18.240 --> 00:26:23.039
Does it feel exciting, interesting, something you'd be thrilled to wear?
00:26:23.359 --> 00:26:26.960
Or do you like it because you've seen it everywhere?
00:26:27.200 --> 00:26:33.440
Because someone you admire wore it, or because you think it's what a bride is supposed to choose.
00:26:34.000 --> 00:26:35.759
And sometimes you just like a dress.
00:26:35.920 --> 00:26:36.960
That's enough too.
00:26:37.119 --> 00:26:47.839
But if you notice that you're making choices because you're worried about disappointing someone, which is really like so super common, it's worth taking a step back.
00:26:48.559 --> 00:26:53.839
And you don't have to choose an unconventional outfit to prove that you're an individual either.
00:26:54.000 --> 00:26:59.359
You know, if your dream wedding dress is traditional, fucking go for it.
00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:09.119
The point isn't to reject trends or tradition, it's to decide which parts of them you actually want and it's your conscious choice.
00:27:09.279 --> 00:27:09.920
Yeah.
00:27:10.720 --> 00:27:16.079
Number four, consider your actual wedding, not just the Pinterest version of it.
00:27:16.319 --> 00:27:19.599
So your outfit doesn't exist in isolation.
00:27:19.759 --> 00:27:29.680
It's part of an entire day, sometimes more, that you're going to experience in real life on this planet with the weather that we have, with gravity.
00:27:29.759 --> 00:27:30.480
You know what I mean?
00:27:30.640 --> 00:27:38.799
So think about your venue, the season, the weather, the kind of celebration you're planning, and how you want to spend your time.
00:27:38.960 --> 00:27:47.680
You know, it's wonderful to have this course at like cinching you in to the point where you can barely breathe and you definitely can't eat.
00:27:48.000 --> 00:27:51.200
And then you've got, you know, food trucks.
00:27:51.519 --> 00:27:53.759
Like, what are you going to do?
00:27:53.920 --> 00:27:54.960
What are you going to do?
00:27:55.200 --> 00:27:58.400
Are you having a formal celebration in a grand venue?
00:27:58.640 --> 00:28:00.799
Is it an intimate garden wedding?
00:28:01.039 --> 00:28:04.079
Relax beach ceremony followed by a long lunch.
00:28:04.240 --> 00:28:10.960
You know, is it an elopement where you'll be walking around in the city or on the side of a cliff?
00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:16.880
Your outfit needs to work for the experience that you're creating.
00:28:17.200 --> 00:28:25.440
And of course, it doesn't mean that you can't wear a dramatic ball gown to a backyard wedding if you really wanted to.
00:28:26.160 --> 00:28:29.200
You can, but have a think about it.
00:28:29.359 --> 00:28:37.680
Consider how you want to move, sit, dance, eat, walk, just feel throughout the day.
00:28:38.400 --> 00:28:42.720
And be honest about your budget too, because there's just it's heartbreaking.
00:28:42.799 --> 00:28:49.279
There is no point falling in love with a look that requires you to drop money you don't have.
00:28:49.839 --> 00:28:56.000
The goal is to find something that works in your real life, not just something that photographs beautifully.
00:28:56.240 --> 00:29:02.240
And then point number five, give yourself permission to choose differently.
00:29:02.640 --> 00:29:05.680
Remember, you're allowed to change your mind.
00:29:06.000 --> 00:29:12.160
You might go into your first bridal appointment convinced you want lace sleeves or whatever.
00:29:12.720 --> 00:29:18.160
You might think you want a traditional dress and you realize you feel much more comfortable in a suit.
00:29:18.400 --> 00:29:21.920
You might try on the dress that you've been saving for.
00:29:22.559 --> 00:29:25.920
And, you know, you stand there and you go, Yeah, it's beautiful.
00:29:26.160 --> 00:29:27.599
It's just not me.
00:29:28.079 --> 00:29:29.839
It's not a failure.
00:29:30.079 --> 00:29:32.559
That is just useful information.
00:29:33.119 --> 00:29:35.039
And try different silhouettes.
00:29:35.200 --> 00:29:40.000
Be open to suggestions from a knowledgeable bridal consultant or bridal stylist.
00:29:40.160 --> 00:29:52.720
And if you bring people along to help you choose, please make sure they're people who will support you in exploring your options rather than people who have already decided what you should wear.
00:29:52.960 --> 00:30:02.720
It doesn't help because you don't have to have your entire bridal identity figured out before you walk into a boutique.
00:30:02.880 --> 00:30:09.759
You just need enough confidence in your own preferences to recognize when something feels right for you.
00:30:10.400 --> 00:30:19.920
So after looking at the history of bridal fashion and all the people influencing what we see today, here's what I'd love you to take away from this episode.
00:30:20.240 --> 00:30:25.759
We have more choice than ever when it comes to what we wear on our wedding day.
00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:32.640
And we can draw inspiration from different decades, designers, cultures, aesthetics.
00:30:32.880 --> 00:30:37.119
We can embrace tradition, challenge it, fuck it off.
00:30:37.279 --> 00:30:38.799
We can do whatever we want.
00:30:38.960 --> 00:30:41.039
And that's a wonderful thing.
00:30:41.359 --> 00:30:51.680
But more choice can sometimes lead to indecision because with more trends to consider, more images, there are more opinions too.
00:30:51.839 --> 00:31:02.880
It's worth remembering that the most fashionable dress, the most expensive gown, the one that gets the most likes isn't automatically the right outfit for you.
00:31:03.119 --> 00:31:10.079
You don't have to be a boho bride, a minimalist bride, a romantic bride, a fashion forward bride.
00:31:10.319 --> 00:31:11.920
It's not Barbie.
00:31:12.400 --> 00:31:16.559
You can be a little bit of everything, you can change your fucking mind.
00:31:16.720 --> 00:31:25.519
You can wear something untraditional because you love it, or something white and frilly because it feels more like you.
00:31:26.000 --> 00:31:30.160
The question isn't whether your wedding outfit reflects the latest trends.
00:31:30.319 --> 00:31:38.480
It's whether you look in the mirror and you feel like yourself in a way that is right for this particular moment in your life.
00:31:38.799 --> 00:31:44.160
Inspiration is there to give you ideas, not instructions.
00:31:44.559 --> 00:31:57.279
Take what you love, leave what you don't, and please don't let an algorithm or a celebrity or a designer, someone on TikTok, convince you that there's only one way to look like a bride.
00:31:57.519 --> 00:32:02.960
And if you're currently trying to work out your bridal style, I'd love you to take a step back from scrolling.
00:32:03.119 --> 00:32:14.160
Spend a little time thinking about what you actually love, what makes you feel confident, because the best bridal style isn't the one that's trending, it's the one that feels like you.
00:32:15.359 --> 00:32:22.880
If you found this episode helpful, please share it with someone who's currently planning their wedding and trying to work out what the fuck to wear.
00:32:23.039 --> 00:32:30.720
And if you're enjoying the podcast, leaving a rating or review is a brilliant way to help other couples find us too.
00:32:30.960 --> 00:32:33.839
And until next time, celebrate your people.
00:32:56.000 --> 00:33:00.480
Thanks so much for listening, and remember, weddings are a team sport.
00:33:00.640 --> 00:33:01.759
Catch it soon.
