Empowerment, Self-Acceptance, and The Evolution of Modeling with Dida Lange

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Love the current.
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You Tap into you and love that part of you and let it shine, because that's what people want to see.
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Alrighty folks, welcome back to Transacting Value, where we're encouraging dialogue from different perspectives to unite over shared values.
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Our theme for season four is intrinsic values, so what your character is doing when you look yourself in the mirror.
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Now, if you're new to the podcast, welcome.
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And obviously, if you're a continuing listener, welcome back.
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Today we're talking our September core values of bravery, courage and patriotism with the mother thrifting queen herself, dita Lang.
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And before we get to her folks, without further ado, I'm Porter, I'm your host, and this is Transacting Value.
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Dita, what's going on?
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How's life?
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It's going.
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I am actually just living the dream every day.
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Living the dream.
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What does that mean to you?
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What is your dream that you're living?
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The dream that I'm living is I am actually actively reaching not just women locally, but women globally, and with my business to achieve the goal in mind was to give confidence to other women within my company.
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All right, let's do this First off for everybody listening.
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Dita and I are on a video call, so you're not going to be able to see her.
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Dita, I'm sorry they can't see you.
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However, because everybody's listening, let's work on a little relatability first.
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I think that'll help with some of this ambiguity too.
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So, before we get to mother thrifting queen Dita, let's start with you.
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Just take a couple of minutes.
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Totally flexible and fluid.
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But who are you?
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Where are you from?
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What sort of things have shaped your perspective on life?
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Okay, well, I am a 38-year-old mom of three now, and I'm from Nebraska originally.
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I have traveled some of the world due to modeling, so I do have a sense of history of modeling and fashion industry 20-plus years, and what has drove me here, or the passion that I have for what I do, is because of the modeling industry and how it impacted my confidence and how it built me as a woman.
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Is that necessarily just a certain type of clothing or certain types of events, or just modeling industry as a whole?
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Modeling industry as a whole.
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So I've done from print catalog runway to competition to promotional.
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I've done all different kinds of modeling and modeling as a whole, like the industry and how it impacted me growing up into it from 16 on, and how it impacted.
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Just that influence, or the rejection impacted my confidence.
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Well, I imagine, especially at 16 years old I mean, most high schoolers are just trying to deal with breakups or not getting homework turned in on time, and you're getting told you don't look good.
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Yeah, I imagine that would be tough and take a toll.
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So I guess, first of all, congratulations on dealing with all that.
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Overcoming all of that alone, in addition to turning it into a business, in addition to becoming an inspiration, in addition to helping people around the world, it says a lot and, frankly, if anything else, I'm surprised it only took 20 years to do.
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That's huge.
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Yeah, don't say yourself short there, but what we're talking about you, though.
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This is also a pretty solid opportunity, I think, for a segment of the show called.
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Developing, character Developing.
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Character.
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So what that means for anybody new to the show is I'm going to ask two questions.
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Dita, totally up to you.
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As vulnerable as you want to be, it's not really a problem or issue.
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Though if your answer is I actually have never thought of that before, that's cool too.
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We can work with it.
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It's up to you.
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So my first question what were some of your personal values growing up?
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Well, I came from a very conservative Christian household.
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My mom is a very strong woman of faith and my best friend.
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So, growing up in that household, knowing that my values really are through the Christian beliefs and through God, knowing that I grew up in that, I did at some point in my life, I think, as most people do, I veered off or steered away from some of those values and tried to discover who I was and try to discover what I wanted or what I wanted to believe, and then resulting into actually falling short from my Christian values and getting myself into situations.
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So those values are very important, those core values.
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For that reason is when you don't have those in place, I really believe that you can fall short.
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You got to have something there to hold on to.
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I finally came back to that, centered back to that those values as a Christian and my strong faith in the Lord and I was rebaptized and got back on track and now my core values are there, just as I was growing up with Well, so then my second question, coincidentally what are some of your values now?
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My values now, like I said, come from a strong woman of faith, so I have a huge faith in my Lord.
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I believe that everything I have is from Him and I believe everything I've gone through.
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Yes, we are human and we are allowed to do what we want to do, but when you follow the straight path and you follow Jesus, you have an abundance, an abundance of joy, and whatever that looks like to me could be different than what it looks like to somebody else, but following that path, my values do lie within the Christian beliefs.
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Alright, folks stay tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value.
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A wise man learns from the mistakes of others.
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A foolish man learns from his own.
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Following that path.
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My values do lie within the Christian beliefs.
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I think a lot of that consideration for other people's perspectives and opinions isn't, I guess, as widely understood.
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You look at history, or just throughout history, not to get too deep into it.
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But Christianity for a while I've been talking hundreds of years for a while tried to push and push and push and push that other people's views were wrong.
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Now it's evolved with the times, being more open-minded within reason, being more considerate of other people's views.
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I think one of the biggest learning points is that it's okay for people to have different opinions and different views.
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What you need to understand is that everybody has different opinions and different views, so don't be an asshole.
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Completely.
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I think that the other side of that coin is you can still have a strong character, you can still have let's call it a relatively moral perspective and be a little rough around the edges.
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I don't think it necessarily means you need to stay polished and shiny all the time.
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Right.
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I will say that the old Christian beliefs, or some of the older Christians, they kind of follow along that path that you're talking about.
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But I live by and I love this to the team.
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My pastor told me this and I live by it Hate the sin, not the sinner.
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We are all sinners.
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We are completely all sinners.
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We all have our vices.
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Who are you to judge your brother or sister?
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Who are you to pull the splinter from their eye when you have a log in your own?
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On that note, I believe that God is just love.
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I just want to shine and give that kind of love and give that back.
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We had a lady come on the show, broca.
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If you ever get the chance to listen to our conversation, she actually is coming back on for this season as well, but I think maybe September last year so season three she first came on.
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That's exactly what she talked about.
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She's a children's book author, a Harvard graduated children's book author.
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That's what she basically talks about the role that gratitude and joy have in her life and her perspective based on her faith.
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Essentially that's guided her inspiration for some of her books, or most of her books.
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For one, you're certainly not alone in that perspective.
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Being able to spread joy and love and humanity through the world is, I think it's a gift, but the irony is you really can't do that until you lose it.
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Being able to I don't want to say take lessons learned, but let's say increase awareness of whatever hardships you went through In your case, you said that was a 20-year modeling career.
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I'm no expert in modeling For anybody.
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Obviously you can't see our video.
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I'm not even entirely convinced what I'm wearing matches right now but I record at home, so it's fine.
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I've seen Next Top Model and that's really the extent of my insight into the modeling world.
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I've seen Miss USA, I had an ex-girlfriend who modeled for a little while.
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That's all I really got.
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I'm also willing to bet maybe hysteria typically a little bit, but there's a lot of guys that might listen to this that probably have equal or less insight into the modeling industry.
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You said you work primarily with women, but I imagine your experiences aren't specific to any particular gender in the modeling industry.
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No, exactly right, Men and women within that modeling.
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I knew guys that their confidence was completely tore down as a male model.
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They just never felt good enough.
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I had a very friend that he would constantly tell me my skin's not good enough, or I'm just not built big enough, or I need to be more toned.
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There was never anything good enough.
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And that's how they make you feel, because each agency, each client is looking for something that is specific.
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The problem with that is we take that personally, we take that in and we absorb that very personally.
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When someone tells us we can't fit that mold, when we wanted to fit that mold, when really we have no business fitting that mold, let it go here.
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Someone else is going to want you, someone else is going to love exactly where you are, exactly who you are when you grow up in the modeling industry, especially 20 plus years.
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I'm 38 now, so we're looking back at the modeling industry when it, fairly, was ruthless.
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A lot of it has changed now.
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There's a lot more acceptance now, like tattoos and curves and different shape, sizes and heights.
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All of that is more accepted than what it used to be.
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Where I was a size two in New York and I was on the runway.
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I met with an agency afterwards and they told me I needed to lose two more inches.
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I was already a size two at 5'10".
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There was no two inches to lose, there was only bones to show.
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At that point I found myself at a place, being a young age, accepting that and saying, okay, I need to fit that mold because that's what I'm told.
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I'm not good enough.
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This is the mold I need to fit to be good enough.
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As a young woman, we absorb that very easily and very easily influenced, because we're still trying to discover who we are.
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Who am I?
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Am I supposed to be accepted this way?
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Or would I be accepted if I actually was me Sure?
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That's for anybody, as a teenager, as an adult.
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There's midlife crises that happen all the time.
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Yeah, that's complete.
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Yeah, I mean the catalyst may have been the modeling industry, but people get bullied.
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People end up in abusive relationships of all varying degrees of romanticism, but at a workplace is no different.
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All right, if folks sit tight.
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We'll be right back on Transacting Value.
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Today, people get bullied.
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People end up in abusive relationships of all varying degrees of romanticism, but at a workplace is no different, and I'll tell you this for anybody who's new to the show.
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I'm active duty in the Marine Corps and I wouldn't call it an abusive relationship.
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Some of it is self-induced and some of it is necessary.
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Right, there's a fair amount of hardship and a fair amount of ridicule and rejection.
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That has to take place because it requires in the DoD, in my opinion, only a little bit of desensitization to be able to be successful, and sort of intentional distancing.
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But similarly, whether you have help, a mentor, you start to figure things out on your own.
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In either case, you also need to be able to become more self-aware and build up your tolerance and your resilience.
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Right, the thick skin type analogies.
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Did you find that that was something you were able to do, dita, on your own, or did you have mentors to rely on?
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What worked for you?
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Like I said, my mom being my best friend, she really is a very strong woman and I am very fortunate and blessed to have a mom to look up to as I do.
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I was able to develop that thick skin.
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Was I able to do that right away?
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Oh no, there were a lot of tears.
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There were a lot of other things along the way, like eating disorders, and there was other things that I was influenced to do, and I did speak of abusive relationships.
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I wasn't abusive relationships.
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I didn't value myself higher or my worth higher than what that person that was abusing me told me I was.
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I got in those situations because I didn't value myself that much and I was tore down, but I came out on top.
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I definitely developed that thicker skin and I also came into myself and I had this epiphany who is Dita?
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Who is Dita Really?
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Who am I and what do I want out of this life?
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What is my purpose?
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What is my drive and my passion?
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You did that by calling home.
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That was your wake up.
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Believe it or not.
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Yes, it took talking to my mom through a lot of this stuff.
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I also talked to a counselor and I highly suggest anybody to not feel shameful to get a counselor or find someone to help you if you are going through that kind of trauma, abuse or a history of something that has tore you down and you need help working through it.
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Yeah, asking for help says easy, does hard.
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Yes, true.
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This was a while ago now, maybe a decade or so I got told hey, you need to go talk to an anger management therapist.
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That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
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I'm not doing that, I feel fine, I don't have to ask anybody anything.
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So, true to form at the time.
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Eventually I got talked into it, came around to the idea I think it was an hour or something like that for the first meeting About 40 minutes in I said fuck it and walked out, didn't go back after that.
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But I didn't understand why I was there.
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In hindsight I think because I didn't understand who I was showing up.
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So I didn't see the benefit and what they were trying to promote there as a therapist or even a social worker.
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Now, what they try to promote is a benefit to who you're projecting not necessarily who you are actually, but I think a lot of the times we run into, maybe due to some sort of unawareness or ignorance, maybe you just don't see your surroundings for what they are, but you tend to get complacent.
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Sometimes you focus more on your goals than the atmospherics or for any other number of reasons, and I think a lot of that, coming from a place of conflict, gives you a resentment gives you guilt, you don't have to worry about losing weight at that point.
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It just sort of melts off from stress or doubles up in stress.
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There's a lot of, obviously, health impacts from that too.
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But I think, with a little bit of awareness which, like you said, talk to the family you were born into, talk to the family you create as you go through life, whatever applies, but talk to people whose inputs and opinions you trust, and then you start to gain a little acceptance and awareness and I think that eventual contentment can bring some peace to your life and it's a total life-shifting perspective change, I think, when that moment hits.
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So I've met with therapists, I've met with social workers, I've had some come on the show and you know what, in hindsight, I think overall transacting value was my own way to self-medicate and therapeutically enhance my perspective.
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I guess, and it's opportunities like this You're a stranger, I see you right.
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I have a rough idea.
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You might like ACDC and you enjoy getting tattoos, but you hit on it yes.
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And those are accurate.
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I think I'm a lifestyle as an outward expression of who I am personally, and I think people should yeah, well, it's a lot more fun too once you're able to accept and own and embrace and stand beside what you stand for and all of these other analogies in life.
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So, like in your case, you went from at least what was a relatively vain industry to you're still like.
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I've seen your Instagram.
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You're still promoting, you're still taking pictures.
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You're still doing it in a missing fashion.
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You're still modeling, just your own brand right.
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You can't take the model out.
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You just can't take her out of me.
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I love to do just that.
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I had a passion for it for so many years.
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Even though the industry to me.
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I can look at it as a whole.
00:19:55.026 --> 00:20:07.683
I can look at it negatively for the experiences I've had, but I can also look at it as a positive thing and how I came out of that and what it's done for me, and not just those experiences that were negative.
00:20:07.683 --> 00:20:09.256
There were other good experiences.
00:20:09.256 --> 00:20:15.613
There were other things that also developed me and who I am now and my voice and the confidence that I carry.
00:20:15.613 --> 00:20:26.441
And going back to a little bit, going back to about how you said it's hard to ask for help I couldn't have been the worst person to admit I needed help.
00:20:26.441 --> 00:20:35.121
I'm stubborn and I'm horrible at it and obviously, just like you, like I went there and I remember you know just like, oh, this isn't even working.
00:20:35.121 --> 00:20:35.582
I'm not.
00:20:35.582 --> 00:20:36.304
What are we doing?
00:20:36.304 --> 00:20:37.675
I'm talking to a stranger.
00:20:38.109 --> 00:20:39.193
How can this help me?
00:20:39.193 --> 00:20:43.779
And you shut the door on the whole idea.
00:20:43.779 --> 00:20:53.960
But I knew, after I talked to some family, or after I talked to my husband, I it just was like, no, you need to give this an opportunity in order to get better.
00:20:54.832 --> 00:20:55.734
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00:20:55.734 --> 00:21:11.176
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00:21:57.944 --> 00:22:01.954
It just was like no, you need to give this an opportunity in order to get better.
00:22:01.954 --> 00:22:13.874
And I did that and I, even though that first, I would say the first five sessions, I have trust issues from my abuse of history, I have trust issues.
00:22:13.874 --> 00:22:16.853
The first five sessions, I didn't want to trust this person.
00:22:16.853 --> 00:22:21.496
What tells me that I can trust you with these vulnerable moments?
00:22:21.496 --> 00:22:23.329
I can't trust you with these.
00:22:23.329 --> 00:22:30.130
I don't know you, but the truth is that's what they're there for, that's what they're supposed to do, and we fail to see that.
00:22:30.130 --> 00:22:33.568
So I had to go back to that and anybody else that's out there.
00:22:33.568 --> 00:22:36.375
That is just like I'm not going to a counselor.
00:22:36.375 --> 00:22:37.106
That's admitting.
00:22:37.106 --> 00:22:41.070
I have a problem, honey, we all got problems, admit it.
00:22:42.354 --> 00:22:45.528
Yeah, sure, sure, everybody's a little broken.
00:22:45.528 --> 00:22:48.471
If you live long enough, it's just wear and tear, it happens.
00:22:48.471 --> 00:22:50.089
You know it's interesting, though.
00:22:50.089 --> 00:22:56.607
You said modeling agencies earlier and you made me think of ownership and awareness, and it's again.
00:22:56.607 --> 00:23:06.215
I'm not super tuned into the modeling industry as a whole, or any part of it really, but it almost seems like the agency is shifting.
00:23:06.215 --> 00:23:08.228
Who really has the power?
00:23:08.228 --> 00:23:11.056
For example, major league baseball or the players look at this.
00:23:11.056 --> 00:23:13.308
Writers, actors strike.
00:23:13.308 --> 00:23:24.426
The agency and the representation can't do anything without the people, and I assume similarly in the modeling industry, agencies in the industry as a whole trying to dictate.
00:23:24.426 --> 00:23:28.391
Well, here's how we want things to look, here's what we think is appealing, here's what publicists are saying is popular.
00:23:28.391 --> 00:23:41.609
But ultimately now it seems like, at least from my point of view, that models are able to own a little bit more of their own agency in how they promote and produce and showcase and photograph right.
00:23:42.664 --> 00:23:47.056
Time has definitely evolved and models are having much more of a voice.
00:23:47.056 --> 00:23:59.047
I still have friends in that industry that are living it to its fullest and they are with huge agencies walking for huge designers, or some of them are actually film producers that I know.
00:23:59.047 --> 00:24:06.911
And I tell you what there's a voice to be heard now in the industry where models were a no speak role.
00:24:07.452 --> 00:24:09.471
Yeah, you're not talking about on the runway.
00:24:09.471 --> 00:24:12.112
You're saying like, just metaphorically, didn't have representation.
00:24:12.112 --> 00:24:13.013
What do you mean?
00:24:13.744 --> 00:24:15.711
Like a role of not speaking, like a model.
00:24:15.711 --> 00:24:18.712
You didn't complain about what they put you in.
00:24:18.972 --> 00:24:19.535
God, I got it.
00:24:19.964 --> 00:24:22.894
You didn't speak up when they told you to lose two more inches.
00:24:22.894 --> 00:24:24.406
You didn't do that.
00:24:24.406 --> 00:24:28.255
Or you lost the gig, or you lost the agency, or you got booted.
00:24:28.255 --> 00:24:29.297
You didn't do that.
00:24:29.297 --> 00:24:30.414
You didn't dare do that.
00:24:30.414 --> 00:24:34.593
Now it's people speak up and they want more what's?
00:24:34.613 --> 00:24:34.834
changed.
00:24:34.874 --> 00:24:35.255
And they want.
00:24:35.255 --> 00:24:44.049
You know what I don't know exactly what changed, more or less probably like what you said, like who's really in control here?
00:24:44.049 --> 00:24:47.211
The players, or is it the league?
00:24:47.933 --> 00:24:49.971
Yeah Well, there's got to be a certain balance to that.
00:24:49.971 --> 00:24:58.932
I mean, like we brought up history earlier, I think there's a lot of things pick an industry, pick an era, pick a generation throughout history where it's sort of ebbs and flows.
00:24:58.932 --> 00:25:09.307
It's the revolt or the revolution and the toppling of some structure, and then it's rebuilt into a new structure and then a new toppling later, and I think it goes back and forth.
00:25:09.307 --> 00:25:18.050
But an important aspect, at least in my view, is balance, meaning there's still roles, there's still a need for some structure.
00:25:18.050 --> 00:25:20.150
There just has to be a little bit more.
00:25:20.150 --> 00:25:21.114
What would you say?
00:25:21.114 --> 00:25:25.429
Civility, mutual respect, representation, a lot more of that.
00:25:25.750 --> 00:25:30.953
Yeah, yeah, well, and so now let's talk about what you brought with you.
00:25:30.953 --> 00:25:37.707
How are you translating positive and negative experiences into this brand, mother, thrift and Queen?
00:25:37.707 --> 00:25:39.469
What makes it better and different?
00:25:40.125 --> 00:25:56.513
So transitioning into this brand from my personal experience of just not feeling good enough and always lacking that confidence in who I am, or feeling that imposter syndrome, or feeling like I need to fit a mold in order to be accepted.
00:25:56.513 --> 00:26:06.153
I see it in women more than men, because I'm obviously, as a woman, surround myself a lot more with women and I style a lot more clients that are women.
00:26:06.153 --> 00:26:13.792
But I see it in women that they think they're not good enough or they don't think they're pretty enough If they don't fit this mold that society says is beautiful.
00:26:13.792 --> 00:26:17.573
That's where Mother Thrift and Queen came in to play.
00:26:17.573 --> 00:26:43.510
Not only am I thrifting the secondhand fashion, upcycling and doing something there not to get into any of the politics of recycling but not only am I doing that, but then I'm turning it around and I'm giving it to some woman that doesn't believe that she can wear this style because her body type or because she's a mom, or because she's just too busy to even put the time in to look good.
00:26:44.053 --> 00:26:49.155
You're worth that and that style, even though people are like well, what's the big deal?
00:26:49.155 --> 00:26:51.854
What's the big deal to even put something together?
00:26:51.854 --> 00:26:57.414
There's something big to do that you look in the mirror and you feel good about yourself.
00:26:57.414 --> 00:26:58.891
And when you feel good and confident, guess what?
00:26:58.891 --> 00:27:08.490
You're going to be more productive, you're going to have more confidence to do something, you're going to be fearless in something that you want to do because that confidence is going to exude and you're going to stand taller.
00:27:08.490 --> 00:27:26.438
So style has a huge play in confidence and I can't wait to reach more women globally and let them know that love the current you Tap into you and love that part of you and let it shine, because that's what people want to see.
00:27:27.756 --> 00:27:28.464
All right, folks, stay tight.
00:27:28.464 --> 00:27:30.270
We'll be right back on Transacting Value.
00:27:30.270 --> 00:27:49.041
Alrighty folks, here at Transacting Value, we write and produce all the material for our podcast in-house game perspective alongside you, our listeners, and exchange vulnerability and dialogue with our contributors every Monday morning.
00:27:49.041 --> 00:27:52.682
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00:29:00.434 --> 00:29:01.017
Love the current.
00:29:01.017 --> 00:29:08.636
You Tap into you and love that part of you and let it shine, because that's what people want to see.
00:29:10.275 --> 00:29:11.337
Here's the counterpoint to that.
00:29:11.337 --> 00:29:13.183
Not to disagree, but to compliment.
00:29:13.183 --> 00:29:17.958
I'm sure there's going to be some veterans listening to this and they're like, oh great, here we go, another bootcamp story.
00:29:17.958 --> 00:29:20.424
Yup, buckle up, it's coming.
00:29:20.424 --> 00:29:24.730
So I went to Parris Island which, if anybody's unfamiliar, is in South Carolina.
00:29:24.730 --> 00:29:25.816
Real shitty island.
00:29:25.816 --> 00:29:27.682
Lots of mosquitoes, sand fleas, not important.
00:29:28.035 --> 00:29:37.785
The point is going there, like I mentioned earlier, you're going to get broken down, but you're physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, you're just going to be exhausted.
00:29:37.785 --> 00:29:39.377
But that's the point.
00:29:39.377 --> 00:29:45.047
It's to rebuild in this common, unified front image.
00:29:45.047 --> 00:29:47.281
I'm only attributing this to the Marine Corps.
00:29:47.281 --> 00:29:57.105
So as you get built back up, it's not you as the individual, it's you as what you are representing, sort of this spiritual entity of Marine.
00:29:58.055 --> 00:30:13.384
And in that endeavor, over the course of I think it's 13 weeks now we graduated and when we graduated, or within a week or two before graduating, we have a senior drill instructor and his role is to oversee the other drill instructors.
00:30:13.384 --> 00:30:30.298
It's all hierarchical, but the point is he goes through and inspects all of us and we're standing there online and we're in a formation and he walks up and down and checks each of our uniforms with a ruler and for cleanliness and all of these sort of more regimented and disciplinary type tactics.
00:30:30.298 --> 00:30:41.586
And I remember for us specifically at the end of that inspection, our senior drill instructor if you're anywhere out there, I think he retired as a first sergeant, but first sergeant Perera.
00:30:41.586 --> 00:30:46.682
Anyway, he finished the inspection and the only thing he said?
00:30:46.682 --> 00:30:50.520
He smirked and he said that's what I'm talking about.
00:30:50.520 --> 00:30:54.780
If you look good, you feel good, and if you feel good, you perform good.
00:30:54.780 --> 00:30:57.080
And then he walked away and that was it.
00:30:57.474 --> 00:31:11.204
And so we were there in our uniforms and we get there for graduation and we're walking in formation drilling, just walking in an organized group, basically, but across the parade deck, just an empty, vacant, sort of basketball court looking thing.
00:31:11.204 --> 00:31:25.199
And then we go into this building where all the families are and it's like you walk through this waterfall of emotion and it just hits you At least it did me when you walk in and you see your families that you haven't seen in two months, or I guess it'd be three months at that point.
00:31:25.199 --> 00:31:44.565
But you're crisp, you're part of this image, your fashion is dictating how you feel, because you look good, you look presentable and you just exude a different level of confidence than when you showed up 13 weeks earlier, and so you do this with people you've never met.
00:31:44.565 --> 00:31:46.539
Right, it's all decentralized, mostly for you.
00:31:47.674 --> 00:32:00.278
So how do you build somebody's confidence that you don't have 13 weeks to get to know, or that maybe you don't have a unified goal or an image to get them to fill, Like maybe in the modeling industry, for example?
00:32:00.278 --> 00:32:05.386
How do you say blonde hair, burlap, six inch stilettos, I'm going to find it.
00:32:05.386 --> 00:32:06.249
How do you do that?
00:32:07.154 --> 00:32:11.503
How do you cultivate confidence with people you've never met For starters, I can't control how they're going to feel.
00:32:11.503 --> 00:32:22.067
Honestly, I would love to give them confidence with style but, like you said, I'm not with them for several months or weeks to help build that backup.
00:32:22.795 --> 00:32:38.905
This is just a starting point for them to realize their worst, to realize that their value is a lot greater than throwing on some sweatpants and a messy bun and walking out the door feeling like this is as good as it gets.
00:32:38.905 --> 00:32:43.698
That's why elevate that, so that way they know that their worth is there.
00:32:43.698 --> 00:32:51.742
Can I say that the women that I have styled, or the clients that I've styled, are they like storing now with confidence and who they are?
00:32:51.742 --> 00:32:52.836
No, I can't say that.
00:32:52.836 --> 00:32:53.840
I can't say that for sure.
00:32:53.840 --> 00:32:55.086
I'm sure it's a work in progress.
00:32:55.086 --> 00:32:57.115
It's a work in progress in me every day.
00:32:57.617 --> 00:33:02.478
There's always something new I want to pick over, there's something that I want to say that I don't like about myself.
00:33:02.478 --> 00:33:09.344
But it's a constant work in progress to be comfortable in the skin we're in and then evolve and grow at the same time.
00:33:09.344 --> 00:33:12.296
So I can't say that they're storing with confidence out there.
00:33:12.296 --> 00:33:26.726
But I can say when I get the feedback from my clients that say I've never felt better, I've never felt so much prettier since I had a kid, since I had a baby, I've never felt so good, I've never felt like I could wear this.
00:33:26.726 --> 00:33:31.397
I would have never picked that for myself, but it's my favorite now because I look so good.
00:33:31.397 --> 00:33:37.981
So when I get feedback like that, that tells me I'm making an impact on their confidence, I'm helping them build that.
00:33:39.390 --> 00:33:48.951
Not only have I never walked out of the house in sweatpants and a messy bun, I've also not gotten any clothes from you, but your story alone is making an impact, Dita.
00:33:48.951 --> 00:33:49.976
Don't say yourself short.
00:33:49.976 --> 00:34:00.575
I think what you bring and what you have to offer, with all the baggage of whatever you want to attribute that to, it really sounds like you've learned how to make a little carry on of all the good things.
00:34:01.276 --> 00:34:05.022
Yeah you can say that Carry on.
00:34:05.022 --> 00:34:05.784
I love that.
00:34:06.030 --> 00:34:07.498
Yeah, and then do something with it.
00:34:07.498 --> 00:34:14.480
And so I don't know, man, there's a lot of things about materialism and fashion that aren't really in my repertoire.
00:34:14.480 --> 00:34:34.552
From vocabulary to sense, I don't have really much of either, but I understand emotional resonance, I understand connection with people and trying to align humanity with humanity, and at least from what I can see on this video call and what I can hear and what I hope everybody's hearing in our conversation, is that you figured it out.
00:34:34.552 --> 00:34:36.217
You're there, you know what I mean.
00:34:36.217 --> 00:34:48.842
I don't know to what degree you're saying this is my bar for success, but if you're able to find ways to help people feel more like who they were or who they want to become you made it in my book.
00:34:48.842 --> 00:34:54.081
I think that journey is maybe only beginning, but at least you're in the right direction.
00:34:54.081 --> 00:34:57.454
So I got to say before I get anywhere else congratulations on that.
00:34:57.454 --> 00:34:58.880
That's a huge accomplishment.
00:34:59.382 --> 00:34:59.844
Thank you.
00:34:59.844 --> 00:35:05.927
I really appreciate that I don't consider myself there at the success level that I want to be at.
00:35:05.927 --> 00:35:08.795
Like I said, I really want to reach women globally.
00:35:08.795 --> 00:35:14.972
I just recently milled out my first package to an international client.
00:35:14.972 --> 00:35:16.978
I finally reached someone globally.
00:35:16.978 --> 00:35:32.989
We just recently spoke and she feels amazing and all the clothes that she sent me pictures and she's in love with everything and feels really good about herself and them and that right there was a milestone or a success step for me.
00:35:32.989 --> 00:35:35.335
But I'm looking to reach more obviously.
00:35:35.335 --> 00:35:47.469
I guess I want to stay humble in the fact that, yes, I feel like I'm offering the world, but it's just a piece, like you said, and I love making that impact.
00:35:47.469 --> 00:35:52.202
There's so much more reward in that than the actual financial side of it.
00:35:52.891 --> 00:35:58.992
Humility is a tricky balancing act too, I think, once you start seeing some call it degree of success.
00:35:58.992 --> 00:36:11.396
Actually, for the sake of time, it's probably going to be my last question, but what do you rely on to stay grounded and maintain a perspective that you're not unduly inflating your ego or something?
00:36:11.396 --> 00:36:12.358
How do you stay humble?
00:36:12.358 --> 00:36:12.940
What works for you?
00:36:13.550 --> 00:36:14.452
Believe it or not.
00:36:14.452 --> 00:36:16.798
Here we're just going to go right back to full circle.
00:36:16.798 --> 00:36:18.733
Here we're going to go right back to my values.
00:36:18.733 --> 00:36:20.576
The Lord keeps me humble.
00:36:20.576 --> 00:36:39.715
He keeps me humble and he makes me realize that he's given everything to me, and the money is not mine, it's the Lord's, and I know that he's going to constantly provide and he's going to constantly bring the people that actually need me or actually should be in my past.
00:36:39.715 --> 00:36:46.675
I really, really believe in that, and he keeps me humble enough to know that it is his work and I'm doing his work.
00:36:47.538 --> 00:36:50.505
I like that Conduit, not a catalyst.
00:36:50.505 --> 00:37:00.119
So, dita, I appreciate the opportunity and I appreciate the conversation, I think even more, just what you've been able to explain and how you've been able to explain it.
00:37:00.119 --> 00:37:05.079
And from what I remember, a couple of weeks ago when we spoke, you said you don't do podcasts that often.
00:37:05.079 --> 00:37:05.740
Was that right?
00:37:06.349 --> 00:37:08.233
No, it was actually.
00:37:08.233 --> 00:37:10.259
I've done one before you.
00:37:10.259 --> 00:37:14.032
Someone wanted me to be a guest on the airs and I was absolutely nervous.
00:37:14.032 --> 00:37:15.076
I'm not going to lie.
00:37:15.076 --> 00:37:29.954
I'm over here pitting out and I'm still granted, I'm in my sunroom and the sun is coming in and I'm really hot, but at the same time I'm still nervous, my palms are sweaty and I worry if I'm going to fumble over my words or if I'm just going to sound.
00:37:29.954 --> 00:37:33.202
Well, let's just be out there, I'm just going to sound stupid.
00:37:33.202 --> 00:37:35.231
So I do worry about that.
00:37:35.231 --> 00:37:36.932
That's the vanity in me there.
00:37:36.932 --> 00:37:40.440
It is Just worrying about how I'm going to come across.
00:37:40.440 --> 00:37:44.425
There's just about letting that go and going with the flow on this.
00:37:44.956 --> 00:37:46.355
Yeah, I totally agree.
00:37:46.355 --> 00:37:50.824
I think that took me about a year before I started getting comfortable.
00:37:50.824 --> 00:37:55.784
And what are other people going to think about all these things?
00:37:55.784 --> 00:38:02.342
For whatever it's worth, whatever two cents I can add to your wallet here, people are going to judge you and some might think you're dumb.
00:38:03.543 --> 00:38:04.693
That's the reality of it.
00:38:04.936 --> 00:38:05.378
You know it is.
00:38:06.177 --> 00:38:07.273
Oh, I read this quote.
00:38:07.273 --> 00:38:10.262
It said what you think about me is actually none of my business.
00:38:10.965 --> 00:38:11.266
I love it.
00:38:11.556 --> 00:38:16.277
If only we just kept that mentality and we don't need it to be our business those people.
00:38:16.277 --> 00:38:19.646
If they think poorly of us, let them go and think poorly, that's okay.
00:38:20.157 --> 00:38:25.764
Now, the flip side is true too, though, for the record right, there's something to be said for just being aware of how you come across the people.
00:38:25.764 --> 00:38:27.940
Yes, yes, absolutely.
00:38:27.940 --> 00:38:29.460
You know that does count for something.
00:38:29.460 --> 00:38:38.635
But, Dita, if anybody wants to find out more about Mother Thrift and Queen you, maybe they want to get into modeling, maybe they want to work with you, I don't know.
00:38:38.635 --> 00:38:43.891
But if anybody wants to, in any capacity, find out more about those things, where do you recommend they go?
00:38:43.891 --> 00:38:44.275
How do they do it?
00:38:45.599 --> 00:38:53.295
So my company is making a little bit of a shift and change, so the best opportunity or the best way to reach me is going to be through Instagram.
00:38:53.295 --> 00:38:56.755
That's going to be at Mother Thrifting underscore queen.
00:38:56.755 --> 00:38:59.235
There you'll be able to direct message me.
00:38:59.235 --> 00:39:05.592
I will personally answer, or you can click on the link that's attached to my Instagram bio.
00:39:05.592 --> 00:39:09.135
There it's going to lead you to a couple of different directions.
00:39:09.135 --> 00:39:16.114
You can even order your style bundle there and work with me one-on-one, and I am a one woman show.
00:39:16.114 --> 00:39:18.195
Everything is personally me.
00:39:18.195 --> 00:39:19.108
There's no automation.
00:39:19.108 --> 00:39:24.255
I have really structured my business to not have automations.
00:39:24.255 --> 00:39:31.954
I like to personally read your form, I like to personally get to know you and I like to personally be the one talking to you.
00:39:33.219 --> 00:39:35.447
Oh, you have actual consults too prior to.
00:39:35.447 --> 00:39:37.554
It's not just fill out a paper and then you make it match.
00:39:38.840 --> 00:39:45.603
They have to fill out a form and it's like through questionnaires, and it gets emailed to me and from there I personally email back Sick.
00:39:47.623 --> 00:39:49.775
Well, for everybody listening, and you did say primarily women, right?
00:39:49.775 --> 00:39:50.853
Just so I'm clear.
00:39:51.699 --> 00:39:54.094
Primarily women, but I actually just styled a male.
00:39:54.094 --> 00:39:57.155
It was actually one of my clients husband.
00:39:57.155 --> 00:40:01.144
So sometimes, you know, the women will rope the men in there and I love it.
00:40:01.144 --> 00:40:10.054
I personally, if a man feels good enough to just come on my way and, you know, just want to get styled, sure Sweet.
00:40:10.273 --> 00:40:10.614
Let's do it Sweet.
00:40:10.614 --> 00:40:17.608
Well then, so for everybody listening, depending on what player you're streaming this conversation, click see more, click show more.
00:40:17.608 --> 00:40:18.914
Or, obviously, if you're on our website, just scroll down.
00:40:18.914 --> 00:40:26.114
But, dita, the link to your Instagram, we'll put it in the show notes and that way you will have some back links shooting back to your profile also.
00:40:26.114 --> 00:40:30.594
But for the second time, I really do appreciate this opportunity.
00:40:30.594 --> 00:40:37.855
I think it was a great conversation, I think despite how nervous you might have actually been or thought you were going to be, I couldn't tell till now.
00:40:37.855 --> 00:40:42.230
We just aired it out to the world, but otherwise it was great.
00:40:42.230 --> 00:40:44.894
Being vulnerable, yeah, that's what it is right.
00:40:44.894 --> 00:40:47.135
That's being human, that's how it goes.
00:40:47.135 --> 00:40:54.606
So, but I appreciate the opportunity, I appreciate the trust you put into this and allowing me to sort of lead this dance, and it was great.
00:40:54.606 --> 00:40:55.327
I appreciate it.
00:40:55.327 --> 00:40:55.748
So thank you.
00:40:56.617 --> 00:41:01.262
No, thank you for having me, and I told myself a long time ago when I opened this company.
00:41:01.262 --> 00:41:11.934
I wasn't going to share my personal story and this was a very recent thing that I was okay with sharing and being vulnerable about where I came from and how the modeling industry impacted me.
00:41:11.934 --> 00:41:20.670
So actually you'd be one of the first to actually get this on a podcast of behind the scenes how I even came into this.
00:41:21.376 --> 00:41:27.422
I'm honored and, like we said earlier, the role is being a conduit right, so I'm glad we could make it work out.
00:41:27.422 --> 00:41:36.824
But for everybody else listening as well, thank you for tuning in and listening to our core values for September of bravery, courage and patriotism.
00:41:36.824 --> 00:41:43.208
Also, I got to thank to a certain degree and I don't know specifics people within the modeling industry and your clients that you've worked with.
00:41:43.208 --> 00:41:44.498
Obviously your mom.
00:41:44.498 --> 00:41:50.195
Big thanks to her and then your kids for giving you the opportunity to learn how to balance life a little bit better.
00:41:50.195 --> 00:41:52.755
I think that carries its own stressors.
00:41:53.297 --> 00:41:55.230
If you want to call it balance, yeah.
00:41:55.289 --> 00:41:55.451
Yeah.
00:41:56.135 --> 00:41:57.251
Something like that.
00:41:58.204 --> 00:41:59.155
Well, that's how it works right.
00:41:59.155 --> 00:42:02.594
Your husband, thanks to him for helping you reason and rationalize a little bit.
00:42:02.594 --> 00:42:06.195
I think without those inspirations, though, this conversation wouldn't have been as cool as it was.
00:42:06.195 --> 00:42:13.054
So thanks to them, but also to our show partners Keystone Farmers, market, hoofenklecker Farms Obviously both sprout.
00:42:13.054 --> 00:42:14.434
Thanks for your distribution as well.
00:42:14.434 --> 00:42:20.342
Folks, if you're interested in joining our conversation you want to check out our merchandise Any of our members only stuff.
00:42:20.342 --> 00:42:27.635
You can check out our website at transactingvaluepodcastcom All of our other conversations are there as well and follow along on social media.
00:42:27.635 --> 00:42:37.603
We'll continue to stream new interviews every Monday at 9am that's Eastern Standard Time on all your favorite podcasting platforms, but until next time, that was Transacting Value.