WEBVTT
1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.000
Welcome back to Time Tested Mastery. Life lessons sell. I'm Mark Dolan.
2
00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:09.000
I talk about trust constantly.
3
00:00:09.000 --> 00:00:15.000
Truth follows Trust is probably the idea I've become most identified with.
4
00:00:15.000 --> 00:00:24.000
If somebody doesn't feel safe enough with you to tell you what's really going on, you're probably solving the wrong problem.
5
00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:29.000
But lately I've been thinking about another side of trust.
6
00:00:29.000 --> 00:00:36.000
We spend an enormous amount of time talking about how to create trust at the beginning of a relationship.
7
00:00:36.000 --> 00:00:49.000
First impressions, building rapport, our body language, listening, creating credibility, professional presentations.
8
00:00:49.000 --> 00:00:52.000
You see, all of that matters.
9
00:00:52.000 --> 00:00:56.000
But I think there's something we get backwards.
10
00:00:56.000 --> 00:01:01.000
A good presentation doesn't create lasting trust.
11
00:01:01.000 --> 00:01:09.000
A presentation creates an expectation, and trust is what happens afterward.
12
00:01:09.000 --> 00:01:13.000
The formula I've been using is very simple.
13
00:01:13.000 --> 00:01:19.000
Promise, performance and then proof.
14
00:01:19.000 --> 00:01:24.000
You tell somebody what you're going to do, then you do it.
15
00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:31.000
You do it consistently enough that they no longer have to wonder whether your words mean anything.
16
00:01:31.000 --> 00:01:35.000
Now they have evidence, and that's trust.
17
00:01:35.000 --> 00:01:43.000
A real estate agent sits at a listing presentation and says, I'll communicate with you weekly. I'll keep you informed.
18
00:01:43.000 --> 00:01:46.000
I'll aggressively market your property.
19
00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:49.000
I'll negotiate on your behalf.
20
00:01:49.000 --> 00:01:55.000
I'll always tell you the truth, and I'll be there when something goes wrong.
21
00:01:55.000 --> 00:01:57.000
Fine.
22
00:01:57.000 --> 00:02:02.000
So will the other five agents they've already interviewed.
23
00:02:02.000 --> 00:02:07.000
Words are easy when there isn't a cost attached to them.
24
00:02:07.000 --> 00:02:12.000
The test begins after the seller signs the listing agreement.
25
00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:15.000
Did you call when you said you'd call?
26
00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:19.000
Did you send what you promised to send?
27
00:02:19.000 --> 00:02:22.000
Did you prepare for the next conversation?
28
00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:28.000
Did you tell them the truth when you knew that they weren't going to like it?
29
00:02:28.000 --> 00:02:34.000
Did you still answer the phone when the transaction became difficult?
30
00:02:34.000 --> 00:02:38.000
You see, that's when credibility starts to become real.
31
00:02:38.000 --> 00:02:43.000
Your words establish an expectation.
32
00:02:43.000 --> 00:02:46.000
Your behavior supplies the evidence.
33
00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:52.000
That's why I've always been comfortable saying, I don't know, but I'll find out.
34
00:02:52.000 --> 00:02:57.000
I'm not diminished because I don't know everything. Nobody does.
35
00:02:57.000 --> 00:03:00.000
The important part comes next.
36
00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:02.000
Did I find out?
37
00:03:02.000 --> 00:03:04.000
Did I call them back?
38
00:03:04.000 --> 00:03:07.000
Did I verify the answer?
39
00:03:07.000 --> 00:03:11.000
Did I do what I said I would do?
40
00:03:11.000 --> 00:03:21.000
It seems like a tiny promise, but I've become convinced that reputations are built on thousands of those tiny promises.
41
00:03:21.000 --> 00:03:26.000
We sometimes think trust is created in big, dramatic moments.
42
00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:28.000
And it can be.
43
00:03:28.000 --> 00:03:33.000
But most of the time it is much less exciting.
44
00:03:33.000 --> 00:03:35.000
You showed up on time.
45
00:03:35.000 --> 00:03:37.000
You returned their call.
46
00:03:37.000 --> 00:03:41.000
You remembered what mattered to someone.
47
00:03:41.000 --> 00:03:44.000
You read the document before the meeting.
48
00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:47.000
You admitted your mistake.
49
00:03:47.000 --> 00:03:52.000
You checked the wire instructions instead of assuming.
50
00:03:52.000 --> 00:04:04.000
You slowed a Client down when somebody else was creating artificial urgency and you didn't disappear because the conversation was uncomfortable.
51
00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:08.000
Those things aren't glamorous, but they are evidence.
52
00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:14.000
And evidence changes how somebody experiences you professionally.
53
00:04:14.000 --> 00:04:18.000
They stop thinking, I hope Mark does what he said.
54
00:04:18.000 --> 00:04:23.000
Eventually it becomes Mark will do what he said. And that's trust.
55
00:04:23.000 --> 00:04:26.000
And here's where this gets especially important.
56
00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:30.000
Pressure reveals the quality of the promise.
57
00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:34.000
Anybody can appear calm when everything is going well.
58
00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:38.000
Anybody can be responsive when the client is thrilled.
59
00:04:38.000 --> 00:04:45.000
Anybody can act professional when the transaction is moving along smoothly.
60
00:04:45.000 --> 00:04:54.000
Then the appraisal comes in low, the inspection is ugly, the lender finds something totally unexpected.
61
00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:58.000
The buyer wants out, the seller is angry.
62
00:04:58.000 --> 00:05:12.000
You see, that's when your client finds out whether all those things you said in the presentation were marketing language or whether they describe who you actually are.
63
00:05:12.000 --> 00:05:17.000
I've taught agents a very simple way of handling those moments.
64
00:05:17.000 --> 00:05:19.000
Here is what happened.
65
00:05:19.000 --> 00:05:22.000
Here is what we know.
66
00:05:22.000 --> 00:05:25.000
Here are the current options.
67
00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:34.000
Here is what I no hiding, no spin, no manufactured confidence.
68
00:05:34.000 --> 00:05:48.000
No pretending the problem isn't a problem, just clarity that does something emotionally for a client. It tells them, I'm still here. I'm not panicking.
69
00:05:48.000 --> 00:05:50.000
I'm not manipulating you.
70
00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:54.000
We're going to deal with reality together.
71
00:05:54.000 --> 00:06:00.000
That's what emotional safety looks like after the sale.
72
00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:06.000
A lot of sales training concentrates simply on getting the yes. And I understand why.
73
00:06:06.000 --> 00:06:10.000
Without the yes, there is no client relationship.
74
00:06:10.000 --> 00:06:14.000
But the first yes is not the finish line.
75
00:06:14.000 --> 00:06:16.000
It's the starting line.
76
00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:30.000
If anything, the promise becomes more important after the agreement. Because now somebody has trusted you with something. Their money, their home, their career, their reputation and their time.
77
00:06:30.000 --> 00:06:35.000
Maybe one of the biggest financial decisions their family will ever make.
78
00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:38.000
And that's consequential.
79
00:06:38.000 --> 00:06:52.000
I think one of the reasons consumers sometimes become cynical about salespeople is is that we've trained people to become very good at the promise and not nearly as disciplined about the performance.
80
00:06:52.000 --> 00:06:55.000
Sometimes we practice presentations.
81
00:06:55.000 --> 00:06:59.000
Some of us practice objection handling.
82
00:06:59.000 --> 00:07:04.000
Some of us memorize value propositions. And that's great.
83
00:07:04.000 --> 00:07:08.000
What do we practice after they hire us?
84
00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:18.000
Do we have communication standards, follow up standards, preparation standards, a process for delivering bad news?
85
00:07:18.000 --> 00:07:24.000
Do we have systems that make keeping our word more likely?
86
00:07:24.000 --> 00:07:28.000
That's where control before confidence fits into this.
87
00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:35.000
I can't control whether the appraisal works, can't control what the inspector finds.
88
00:07:35.000 --> 00:07:37.000
I can't control interest rates.
89
00:07:37.000 --> 00:07:42.000
I can't control whether another agent behaves professionally or not.
90
00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:58.000
But I can control whether I'm prepared, whether I communicate, whether I verify information Whether I return the call, if I remain steady when everyone else gets emotional, things will go great.
91
00:07:58.000 --> 00:08:04.000
Confidence that isn't backed by behavior is mostly theater.
92
00:08:04.000 --> 00:08:07.000
So control the things you can control.
93
00:08:07.000 --> 00:08:14.000
Repeated performance gives people proof. There's another part of this that I think matters outside of business.
94
00:08:14.000 --> 00:08:16.000
This isn't just a sales idea.
95
00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:24.000
It's a leadership idea, a marriage idea, a parenting idea, a friendship idea.
96
00:08:24.000 --> 00:08:30.000
We tell people, you can count on me, okay, can they?
97
00:08:30.000 --> 00:08:41.000
Not because we sincerely meant it when we said it, but because our behavior has given them enough evidence that they believe it?
98
00:08:41.000 --> 00:08:45.000
That's a much higher standard.
99
00:08:45.000 --> 00:08:48.000
Trust isn't something we demand from people.
100
00:08:48.000 --> 00:08:51.000
We can't say, why don't you trust me?
101
00:08:51.000 --> 00:08:54.000
Maybe that's the wrong question.
102
00:08:54.000 --> 00:08:59.000
Maybe the question is, what evidence have I given you to trust me?
103
00:08:59.000 --> 00:09:03.000
And sometimes the answer isn't very comfortable.
104
00:09:03.000 --> 00:09:09.000
That's also why recovering from a broken promise takes much longer than making one.
105
00:09:09.000 --> 00:09:13.000
One sentence can create the expectation.
106
00:09:13.000 --> 00:09:18.000
Rebuilding the proof may require weeks or months of different behavior.
107
00:09:18.000 --> 00:09:26.000
So remember, promise, performance, proof. That's the sequence.
108
00:09:26.000 --> 00:09:30.000
And I think there's an interesting connection there to truth follows trust.
109
00:09:30.000 --> 00:09:37.000
At the beginning of a sales relationship, we're trying to create enough emotional safety for somebody to be honest with us.
110
00:09:37.000 --> 00:09:42.000
Trust first, truth second, solution third.
111
00:09:42.000 --> 00:09:45.000
But after they choose us, we're entering another cycle.
112
00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:51.000
We've made a promise. So now we must perform and create proof.
113
00:09:51.000 --> 00:09:54.000
And that proof deepens the trust.
114
00:09:54.000 --> 00:09:58.000
And deeper trust leads to more honest conversations.
115
00:09:58.000 --> 00:10:02.000
Now the client tells you earlier when they're worried.
116
00:10:02.000 --> 00:10:08.000
They admit when they don't understand something, they will tell you what they're really afraid of.
117
00:10:08.000 --> 00:10:13.000
They listen more carefully when you have to tell them something difficult.
118
00:10:13.000 --> 00:10:15.000
That's not because your script got better.
119
00:10:15.000 --> 00:10:20.000
It's because your behavior made your words believable.
120
00:10:20.000 --> 00:10:23.000
The world is full of empty promises.
121
00:10:23.000 --> 00:10:33.000
We hear them from all kinds of people. Salespeople, company politicians, leaders, advertisers.
122
00:10:33.000 --> 00:10:36.000
Everybody tells us what they're going to do.
123
00:10:36.000 --> 00:10:47.000
That's why a person whose word consistently matches their behavior becomes so noticeable their reputation starts arriving before they do.
124
00:10:47.000 --> 00:10:56.000
So here's your challenge this week. Don't ask yourself whether people trust you. Take a look at the promises you're making.
125
00:10:56.000 --> 00:11:08.000
Starts with the small ones too. I'll call you tomorrow. I'll send you that tonight. I'll look into it. I'll be there at 9. Then ask yourself, am I keeping them?
126
00:11:08.000 --> 00:11:15.000
Because your presentation is not the proof. The proof is what happens after you leave the room.
127
00:11:15.000 --> 00:11:19.000
So say what you mean. Be careful what you promise.
128
00:11:19.000 --> 00:11:22.000
Then do what you said you'd do.
129
00:11:22.000 --> 00:11:29.000
Truth is what happens after the promise. And that's time. Tested mastery.
130
00:11:29.000 --> 00:11:34.000
Thank you for listening today. My name is Mark Dolan. I hope you found this message helpful.
131
00:11:34.000 --> 00:12:05.000
If you know of a salesperson or someone else in a position of leadership that needs to hear this message, please share it with them, and I look forward to talking with you again soon.
1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.000
Welcome back to Time Tested Mastery. Life lessons sell. I'm Mark Dolan.
2
00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:09.000
I talk about trust constantly.
3
00:00:09.000 --> 00:00:15.000
Truth follows Trust is probably the idea I've become most identified with.
4
00:00:15.000 --> 00:00:24.000
If somebody doesn't feel safe enough with you to tell you what's really going on, you're probably solving the wrong problem.
5
00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:29.000
But lately I've been thinking about another side of trust.
6
00:00:29.000 --> 00:00:36.000
We spend an enormous amount of time talking about how to create trust at the beginning of a relationship.
7
00:00:36.000 --> 00:00:49.000
First impressions, building rapport, our body language, listening, creating credibility, professional presentations.
8
00:00:49.000 --> 00:00:52.000
You see, all of that matters.
9
00:00:52.000 --> 00:00:56.000
But I think there's something we get backwards.
10
00:00:56.000 --> 00:01:01.000
A good presentation doesn't create lasting trust.
11
00:01:01.000 --> 00:01:09.000
A presentation creates an expectation, and trust is what happens afterward.
12
00:01:09.000 --> 00:01:13.000
The formula I've been using is very simple.
13
00:01:13.000 --> 00:01:19.000
Promise, performance and then proof.
14
00:01:19.000 --> 00:01:24.000
You tell somebody what you're going to do, then you do it.
15
00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:31.000
You do it consistently enough that they no longer have to wonder whether your words mean anything.
16
00:01:31.000 --> 00:01:35.000
Now they have evidence, and that's trust.
17
00:01:35.000 --> 00:01:43.000
A real estate agent sits at a listing presentation and says, I'll communicate with you weekly. I'll keep you informed.
18
00:01:43.000 --> 00:01:46.000
I'll aggressively market your property.
19
00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:49.000
I'll negotiate on your behalf.
20
00:01:49.000 --> 00:01:55.000
I'll always tell you the truth, and I'll be there when something goes wrong.
21
00:01:55.000 --> 00:01:57.000
Fine.
22
00:01:57.000 --> 00:02:02.000
So will the other five agents they've already interviewed.
23
00:02:02.000 --> 00:02:07.000
Words are easy when there isn't a cost attached to them.
24
00:02:07.000 --> 00:02:12.000
The test begins after the seller signs the listing agreement.
25
00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:15.000
Did you call when you said you'd call?
26
00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:19.000
Did you send what you promised to send?
27
00:02:19.000 --> 00:02:22.000
Did you prepare for the next conversation?
28
00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:28.000
Did you tell them the truth when you knew that they weren't going to like it?
29
00:02:28.000 --> 00:02:34.000
Did you still answer the phone when the transaction became difficult?
30
00:02:34.000 --> 00:02:38.000
You see, that's when credibility starts to become real.
31
00:02:38.000 --> 00:02:43.000
Your words establish an expectation.
32
00:02:43.000 --> 00:02:46.000
Your behavior supplies the evidence.
33
00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:52.000
That's why I've always been comfortable saying, I don't know, but I'll find out.
34
00:02:52.000 --> 00:02:57.000
I'm not diminished because I don't know everything. Nobody does.
35
00:02:57.000 --> 00:03:00.000
The important part comes next.
36
00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:02.000
Did I find out?
37
00:03:02.000 --> 00:03:04.000
Did I call them back?
38
00:03:04.000 --> 00:03:07.000
Did I verify the answer?
39
00:03:07.000 --> 00:03:11.000
Did I do what I said I would do?
40
00:03:11.000 --> 00:03:21.000
It seems like a tiny promise, but I've become convinced that reputations are built on thousands of those tiny promises.
41
00:03:21.000 --> 00:03:26.000
We sometimes think trust is created in big, dramatic moments.
42
00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:28.000
And it can be.
43
00:03:28.000 --> 00:03:33.000
But most of the time it is much less exciting.
44
00:03:33.000 --> 00:03:35.000
You showed up on time.
45
00:03:35.000 --> 00:03:37.000
You returned their call.
46
00:03:37.000 --> 00:03:41.000
You remembered what mattered to someone.
47
00:03:41.000 --> 00:03:44.000
You read the document before the meeting.
48
00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:47.000
You admitted your mistake.
49
00:03:47.000 --> 00:03:52.000
You checked the wire instructions instead of assuming.
50
00:03:52.000 --> 00:04:04.000
You slowed a Client down when somebody else was creating artificial urgency and you didn't disappear because the conversation was uncomfortable.
51
00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:08.000
Those things aren't glamorous, but they are evidence.
52
00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:14.000
And evidence changes how somebody experiences you professionally.
53
00:04:14.000 --> 00:04:18.000
They stop thinking, I hope Mark does what he said.
54
00:04:18.000 --> 00:04:23.000
Eventually it becomes Mark will do what he said. And that's trust.
55
00:04:23.000 --> 00:04:26.000
And here's where this gets especially important.
56
00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:30.000
Pressure reveals the quality of the promise.
57
00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:34.000
Anybody can appear calm when everything is going well.
58
00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:38.000
Anybody can be responsive when the client is thrilled.
59
00:04:38.000 --> 00:04:45.000
Anybody can act professional when the transaction is moving along smoothly.
60
00:04:45.000 --> 00:04:54.000
Then the appraisal comes in low, the inspection is ugly, the lender finds something totally unexpected.
61
00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:58.000
The buyer wants out, the seller is angry.
62
00:04:58.000 --> 00:05:12.000
You see, that's when your client finds out whether all those things you said in the presentation were marketing language or whether they describe who you actually are.
63
00:05:12.000 --> 00:05:17.000
I've taught agents a very simple way of handling those moments.
64
00:05:17.000 --> 00:05:19.000
Here is what happened.
65
00:05:19.000 --> 00:05:22.000
Here is what we know.
66
00:05:22.000 --> 00:05:25.000
Here are the current options.
67
00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:34.000
Here is what I no hiding, no spin, no manufactured confidence.
68
00:05:34.000 --> 00:05:48.000
No pretending the problem isn't a problem, just clarity that does something emotionally for a client. It tells them, I'm still here. I'm not panicking.
69
00:05:48.000 --> 00:05:50.000
I'm not manipulating you.
70
00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:54.000
We're going to deal with reality together.
71
00:05:54.000 --> 00:06:00.000
That's what emotional safety looks like after the sale.
72
00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:06.000
A lot of sales training concentrates simply on getting the yes. And I understand why.
73
00:06:06.000 --> 00:06:10.000
Without the yes, there is no client relationship.
74
00:06:10.000 --> 00:06:14.000
But the first yes is not the finish line.
75
00:06:14.000 --> 00:06:16.000
It's the starting line.
76
00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:30.000
If anything, the promise becomes more important after the agreement. Because now somebody has trusted you with something. Their money, their home, their career, their reputation and their time.
77
00:06:30.000 --> 00:06:35.000
Maybe one of the biggest financial decisions their family will ever make.
78
00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:38.000
And that's consequential.
79
00:06:38.000 --> 00:06:52.000
I think one of the reasons consumers sometimes become cynical about salespeople is is that we've trained people to become very good at the promise and not nearly as disciplined about the performance.
80
00:06:52.000 --> 00:06:55.000
Sometimes we practice presentations.
81
00:06:55.000 --> 00:06:59.000
Some of us practice objection handling.
82
00:06:59.000 --> 00:07:04.000
Some of us memorize value propositions. And that's great.
83
00:07:04.000 --> 00:07:08.000
What do we practice after they hire us?
84
00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:18.000
Do we have communication standards, follow up standards, preparation standards, a process for delivering bad news?
85
00:07:18.000 --> 00:07:24.000
Do we have systems that make keeping our word more likely?
86
00:07:24.000 --> 00:07:28.000
That's where control before confidence fits into this.
87
00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:35.000
I can't control whether the appraisal works, can't control what the inspector finds.
88
00:07:35.000 --> 00:07:37.000
I can't control interest rates.
89
00:07:37.000 --> 00:07:42.000
I can't control whether another agent behaves professionally or not.
90
00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:58.000
But I can control whether I'm prepared, whether I communicate, whether I verify information Whether I return the call, if I remain steady when everyone else gets emotional, things will go great.
91
00:07:58.000 --> 00:08:04.000
Confidence that isn't backed by behavior is mostly theater.
92
00:08:04.000 --> 00:08:07.000
So control the things you can control.
93
00:08:07.000 --> 00:08:14.000
Repeated performance gives people proof. There's another part of this that I think matters outside of business.
94
00:08:14.000 --> 00:08:16.000
This isn't just a sales idea.
95
00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:24.000
It's a leadership idea, a marriage idea, a parenting idea, a friendship idea.
96
00:08:24.000 --> 00:08:30.000
We tell people, you can count on me, okay, can they?
97
00:08:30.000 --> 00:08:41.000
Not because we sincerely meant it when we said it, but because our behavior has given them enough evidence that they believe it?
98
00:08:41.000 --> 00:08:45.000
That's a much higher standard.
99
00:08:45.000 --> 00:08:48.000
Trust isn't something we demand from people.
100
00:08:48.000 --> 00:08:51.000
We can't say, why don't you trust me?
101
00:08:51.000 --> 00:08:54.000
Maybe that's the wrong question.
102
00:08:54.000 --> 00:08:59.000
Maybe the question is, what evidence have I given you to trust me?
103
00:08:59.000 --> 00:09:03.000
And sometimes the answer isn't very comfortable.
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That's also why recovering from a broken promise takes much longer than making one.
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One sentence can create the expectation.
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Rebuilding the proof may require weeks or months of different behavior.
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So remember, promise, performance, proof. That's the sequence.
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And I think there's an interesting connection there to truth follows trust.
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At the beginning of a sales relationship, we're trying to create enough emotional safety for somebody to be honest with us.
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Trust first, truth second, solution third.
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But after they choose us, we're entering another cycle.
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We've made a promise. So now we must perform and create proof.
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And that proof deepens the trust.
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And deeper trust leads to more honest conversations.
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Now the client tells you earlier when they're worried.
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They admit when they don't understand something, they will tell you what they're really afraid of.
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They listen more carefully when you have to tell them something difficult.
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That's not because your script got better.
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It's because your behavior made your words believable.
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The world is full of empty promises.
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We hear them from all kinds of people. Salespeople, company politicians, leaders, advertisers.
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Everybody tells us what they're going to do.
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That's why a person whose word consistently matches their behavior becomes so noticeable their reputation starts arriving before they do.
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So here's your challenge this week. Don't ask yourself whether people trust you. Take a look at the promises you're making.
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Starts with the small ones too. I'll call you tomorrow. I'll send you that tonight. I'll look into it. I'll be there at 9. Then ask yourself, am I keeping them?
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Because your presentation is not the proof. The proof is what happens after you leave the room.
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So say what you mean. Be careful what you promise.
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Then do what you said you'd do.
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Truth is what happens after the promise. And that's time. Tested mastery.
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Thank you for listening today. My name is Mark Dolan. I hope you found this message helpful.
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If you know of a salesperson or someone else in a position of leadership that needs to hear this message, please share it with them, and I look forward to talking with you again soon.
