WEBVTT
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Let's get ready to talk insecurity.
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Cause you're listening to this insecure life.
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Oh boy.
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Uh shocker, not shocker.
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Who's shocked?
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Anyone?
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Um, hey.
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Uh I don't have a ton to say, but I felt as if um I should pop on and make in a statement, you know, but maybe connecting some dots.
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Um based on the conversations that I had started to have um, you know, in February when I came back uh about systems and the overarching systems and then our interpersonal um relationships and how those things are interconnected because of the Cornell case.
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Um so the Cornell University, as they have tried to dub them the Cornell 7, to try and connect them to the Central Park 5.
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Um these are all little tactics, right?
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Um, to get into our heads in in a very um subtle way.
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That's the nature of something like propaganda, right?
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There's not necessarily overt, it's subtle, it is covert, it is quiet.
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Um and that's kind of just what I wanted to state about that.
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Um, if you've listened to anything I've I've put out here, or um, we've connected in person, you likely know how I feel about these types of situations.
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But I feel like it's a really good case and a really good example of how the systems work in tangent to all these other relationships.
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Um, and the outrage that you are seeing online and potentially in conversations you were having with people in your life, if these are topics you uh talk about with your friends and your family and your partners, um, or reading a magazine on the street and someone mentioned something, right?
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These systems are all interconnected in such a big way, and the fact that it's two years later that we are hearing about it solely because um it had to go through civil court, not through criminal court, um, for a variety of reasons, including I didn't know this, and feel free to send me a message or correct me if I'm wrong, but the fact that in New York State, which I don't even think I realized Cornell is in New York, um, New York State rather, um there's a lot of universities slash colleges in the US, and so I don't typically pay attention to them in a big way, but uh that in New York State, um there's like the weird uh you can't be criminally charged if someone has been drinking or under the influence of something, um, which is crazy, and hopefully someone uh who's more versed in that knowledge than me and who lives in the United States in New York is you know working on changing that law.
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Um But yeah, so that's that's why it's come to light, right?
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It's it's two years later.
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Um whatever happens in the dark will come to the light, and it's something I've just been continuously telling myself for years, but it's it's really become a mantra in the last like 18 months, um, because it's grounding.
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Uh so shout out to Teen Wolf for pulling out that little bit of a Buddhist um mantra that I like to come back to.
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Um that's where I first heard of it.
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And yeah, so I mean, long story short, right?
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Um the overarching systems here, and it's more than one system, but it's it's the systems at work.
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So the university system, the justice system, um the conversation around media in and of itself could be, you know, regarded as some type of system now, um, as well as a disbursement of information.
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Um, but I've seen more, and I want to acknowledge this, I've seen more men come forward with this case to state like, this is unacceptable, that seven hours of essentially torture and bodily uh violation got you know reduced to writing an essay.
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Um, for people that will likely be in positions of prominence and power, and that's what we come back to, right?
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So I've said it before, I'm pretty sure like follow the money.
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Where's the money coming from and where is it going?
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Um, and who are these people and how are they navigating the world in and of themselves?
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Um, and how that has impacted us as a whole.
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Uh, it's been really wild because there's been a ton of high-profile cases um revolving around broken systems in general.
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Uh, I will not get into it because it's a disaster and messy, and I don't feel as if I have the proper knowledge on it.
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But even the Lindsay Clancy case at a baseline, the system was broken there in regards to the failure in a full investigation.
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Um, if you see photos from that night, uh, there's no police line put up, there was no police tape put up, there was no basic sort of investigation done at that level of protocol.
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And so that's what I say when we have to look at how the systems operate and then what becomes of it when these systems start to operate outside of what we're looking for, and it's things like that leads to in how my brain works.
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Um, I'm sure we could have some like really hefty discussions about it.
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I don't want to say arguments because I think there's a lot of leeway here to have discussions about things like this, but that becomes things like when you immediately go, okay, well, that was the only person home without investigating the full timeline of the day and all the details pulled together, right?
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Not just one or two things.
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Um, and why wasn't investigated as a whole, then comes, well, what was the um police force doing, right?
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Like why wasn't investigated, or why are the cases in Massachusetts consistently, especially when it comes to cases involving women?
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Um those are the big ones I know about, so don't you know quote me on that um or come at me for it.
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But the cases I am aware of that have bigger um media coverage at least are ones that have involved women, like uh the Karen Reed trial, right?
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Again, deep connections to the police force, what happened there?
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So, what what does the system look like when it starts to break down and when we stop giving due process to prominent and privileged white women?
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What does that mean for things like ICE, right?
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Things like um black and um people of color, right?
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Like like other ethnicities, other races, other people that are marginalized.
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What does it look for when you can not go through due process for rich white women or wealthy white women um who are you know the peak of motherhood or um success in regards to like what women look like and or should look like, quote unquote.
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Um when we stop doing due process for them and people accept it, they don't question it, they go with it, they don't have additional inquiries about what happened, where, when, and at a baseline, I don't I don't care who you believe um murdered.
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I don't know what his name was in the Karen Reed trial, or you know, I do think that the three children deserve justice, but justice isn't just pinning in on whoever is the easiest person to pin it on.
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Justice is actual justice in regards to getting the truth out there, and systems break down.
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Um or are they broken or are they working as you know they've been set up to?
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And now they're just impacting the people that um society looks at differently, right?
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So these are these are the things that I was trying to get at, and um this this goes with this Cornell uh university case as well.
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Um, the implications of calling them the Cornell 7 in regards to calling and bringing into sort of that, oh, Lily must be innocent because the Segelberk 5 ended up being innocent, right?
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That connection is so insidious.
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Um, and people have called it out online.
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Um, I've seen multiple craters that discuss these things in general or were just outraged, um, point it out.
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And so keeping in mind how things are labeled, how people are labeled, um the truths and untruths, and and the fact that AI is such a big part of our lives that day now, our lives today, Jesus, that um things can be mimicked or created or adapted, um, that we don't all have the skills to spot.
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I am very bad at spotting certain things on AI, especially if I'm scrolling quickly or if I'm reading quickly, um, you know, or you're exhausted and you see it and you're not processing to your full ability.
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You're sick, like all these factors um matter in regards to how we think.
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And that's similar to this is such an overarching um episode conversation that I I've started here.
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Uh, that's similar to why dieting and GLP1s are taking off, in my opinion, in some ways.
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Um, there's research there that shows we don't know the long-term effects of drugs like GLP1s on the body.
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Um, there are some horrific side effects that they hid.
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And ultimately, it keeps you malnourished and it keeps you weak because most people don't have the time to properly fuel themselves and then go to the gym and build those muscles up or work out at home or go for the 10K walk that they need to go to to keep their muscles strong.
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Um, and we don't eat carbohydrates in the proper manner and in the way that our body processes it, like our brain cannot function.
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That's like that's just that's just how it works.
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Um, and our organs will shut down eventually, and it might be a long haul, but in that you don't have the fight in you that you have when you're properly fueled, right?
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Um think of things that you've acquiesced on when um you haven't gotten a good night's sleep.
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It's similar to that, but it's compounded.
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Um, so that exhaustion, that underfueling, that undernourishment is all part of the system.
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Um so yeah, so these things are all connected, and that's that's kind of what spurred me.
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I don't have a ton of big thoughts to say beyond here is a really good example of what I was trying to connect um and start the conversation about earlier in the year.
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Uh, what else has shown up that I've been like, oh yeah, um something else.
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It popped into my mind as I was speaking, which you know, shower thoughts, talking thoughts, that's what I have.
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Um it's that examination.
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And again, it's if we can let certain people off, and I would, I would, I don't know.
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We don't know, and from my standpoint, I am Jane Doe.
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If someone were to ask, I would give them my name for the Cornell student.
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Um that Michael journalist who was trying to dox her, absolutely abhorrent.
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Um, but I would not be surprised if Jane Doe um turned out to be uh one of Cornell's like marginalized women.
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Um, so had been on a scholarship, or I don't I don't know much about this case, so maybe this is all out there, you know.
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Um because if she was privileged, if she was a white woman, I want to say that I think it's way more likely that they would have either refunded her or done a little bit different in regards to how it went.
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Um, because the fact that they wouldn't give the tuition money back is absolutely bonkers to me.
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Um bonkers.
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And that also says to me that this person needed that money because if you are wealth, that money would not be worth your sanity and your mental health.
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Um, you would just get out of the situation.
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So there are a lot of factors built into this that I think are really pertinent in regards to the discussion I was making.
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Um and how the systems protect us when we get into interpersonal relationships, right?
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That power of the greater system, wherever you land in that system or the system as a whole, trickles down.
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Reagan was right in regards to trickle-down economics in some ways, but it's not really economics, right?
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It's uh trickle-down bias and um hatred and right like wild.
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It's it's also an epigenetic type thing.
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Um, this is I'm not being serious when I say that.
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Fuck Reagan.
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Um, but I hope those epigenetics trickle down, you know, gets sort of across what I'm trying to say in regards to the overall system having an impact when it comes down to those one-on-one relationships we have, right?
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She was invited over by someone that she was friends with, and it went from there.
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Um, and yeah, and and and so questioning whether in your day-to-day life you notice these things and you say something, right?
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Like it's been proven that the bystander effect isn't a real thing, and it didn't actually happen in the Kitty Genovese case in the way that people said people did call 911.
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But we have to again examine that from um who was calling the area they were calling from, all of these things factor in, and it's a lot.
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Please don't get me wrong.
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It it's all of these things happening at once is exhausting and overwhelming, and our systems are already exhausted and overwhelmed, and that's why we truly actually have to be there for each other in the small ways.
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Um things like knowing what your friends are going through, giving them space when they need it, right?
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Um, but showing up, sending a short text, um, letting them know they don't need to reply, but like you're there.
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Um I recently had someone bring me over, you know, chicken soup and um a bagel and um some COVID tests because I couldn't find them, but they knew where to get them.
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And so things like that, or even I, you know, went out recently and um I've said it before, I've cried on every bus I've ever been in, in any city I've ever been in.
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Um not every bus I've ever been in, but in any city I've been in, I have cried on a bus or in public transportation.
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Except for Athens, which is fucking funny actually.
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Um but I was in a state, um, and I've been trying to keep it together and uh showed up somewhere, and and the person that was helping me just, you know, said like, can I give you a hug?
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And in the last year, I've had some good hugs.
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Um, but there are two moments of you know people looking at me and knowing I needed a hug, and one was at the vet uh last December, and the veterinary clinic was new.
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Um, so the vet was new to me.
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We didn't, I think this was the first time I met her, maybe the second time.
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Um and she gave me one of the best hugs I've had in a very long time.
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And then yeah, last weekend I got um a hug from another stranger that I just met, and it really turned my night around.
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Um and that's what I mean.
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I don't know anything else about this person.
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I met a lot of people that night that like I don't know much about them.
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Um but it was one of those like moments in time that is like okay, this is affirming.
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And it's those little things that um make a strong community um and that keep us going.
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Uh those those moments of connection are really important and they help give us strength and give us um insight and give us um the ability to look at systems and look at our relationships and um I say and a lot kind of slice, um but that's that's the key, right?
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It doesn't have to be anything big to actually make a difference.
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Um that's like two summers ago now, I guess, 2025, when the man at the corner store like checked in on me.
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Um just genuinely checked in on me.
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And I didn't realize I needed that.
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Um our lives are so intertwined and they're so connected, and I don't say that in a way that is like our lives are systems, um, matrix, like that's not what I'm saying with that, but but we do in our day-to-day lives, we come across people that we may not even recognize, um, but they in at the same place at the same time as us in the same restaurant, you know, 14 times already, but they've been across the room, right?
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We have these weird um matrix-like connections with a lot of people, and that is a good thing.
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That's not poetic in any way, but that's what it is.
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Um, and so we can go from system down or we can go from that up, and unfortunately, a lot of the times we do go system down, and it hurts us, but if we were to build from our community up, that's where, you know, I think the good stuff is.
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That's when we can say, This is what works for our community, this is what doesn't work for our community, and and build around that.
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Um, it's so funny.
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I was literally just talking to someone about uh an annual card exchange in a group I've run for almost 10 years now.
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And I I couldn't I couldn't do it a couple years.
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I just I just I was unable to it couldn't I couldn't.
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I did not have the energy not a good place and I just was like I can't I know this is a well-loved thing, I can't do it.
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And they offered to take it on I think three years ago now.
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Um I could be wrong about that, it might be four, but you know, around that time, and we just talked about how it's been almost 10 years, and it's like yeah, I do want to help next year, so like I can plan that, I can plan for that, right?
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And we pretty much only talk like when she puts the post up, and you know, but it's this like really delightful piece of the community, and it works and it keeps people connected.
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Um it's why I think like whimsy has started to grow, right?
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Like, and I don't mean the aesthetic type of whimsy, I mean true whimsy um has sort of started to like creep into how people want to be, and I think that is beautiful.
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I think finding those pieces are really, really lovely.
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Um and having that lightness is so important to find and ground in and keep so that we can examine the harder parts of our relationships, the harder parts of ourselves, the harder parts of the system that we're living in, um, so that we can make it better for everyone.
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And I and I mean that genuinely, like the scarcity mindset that I have for sure, but that the world as a whole has is so overwhelming, and that's what has led to a lot of hoarding, right?
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That's what um I don't actually know the the deep delving into, you know, hoarding disorders um in that need, which is funny because I do have a lot of stuff, I have a lot of clothes in particular, so like could I could I use the knowledge of myself and how I work with belongings to potentially examine it?
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Sure, but I'm going to miss things because again, I'm not trained in any of this.
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I just am curious, and I think curious is really good, which is funny.
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Again, there's no train of thought in this except for me to be trying to show that the Cornell University um alleged gang rape case um and how it's been talked about and perceived and worked with is a really good example of systems and interpersonal relationships and those connections I was talking about earlier.
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But curiosity, I think, can be a cure for that, and I mean that for everyone, where it's like we laugh and we joke and we go, oh, we're hyper-fixating, and some people do hyperfixate, and sometimes we're just exaggerating, right?
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Um, but when it comes to like known sayings, right?
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Like blood is thicker than water, that's not the full saying.
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And I believe we've talked about a few of these things, but it's like curiosity killed the cat, and we stop it there.
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Um but the full saying of that, I believe, is curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought it back.
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And so it's like if you follow that line of thinking, if you're curious and you're asking the questions and you're learning and you're discovering, that in and of itself can be fulfilling.
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And what does fulfillment bring?
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Satisfaction.
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Right?
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It's not necessarily about being right or wrong, it's it's about the satisfaction of being curious, of learning, of enjoying the journey.
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Um, and I think that gets lost in again, why are we cutting these sayings at certain spots?
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Um, how do they and language change, right?
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The use of language change.
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Um, what's the importance of that?
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Like all these ideas have threads that you can pull on to get to something bigger.
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And that is the importance of it, and not in a conspiracy theory type way, um, not in a detrimental to your mental health type way, not in this is better than that.
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But if you pull on a thread because you're curious about it, what could it lead you to?
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And genuinely, what could it lead you to?
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What are you seeking?
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In that seeking is likely something that you're missing, whether that is knowledge, whether that is satisfaction.
00:27:41.680 --> 00:28:05.839
And so those are important things to keep in mind when cases like Karen Reed, Lindsay Clancy, um, Cornell University, uh, gang rape all come up, um, is how people talk about them, what's being said, what's being shown, the optics around it, um, the connections people are trying to draw through how things are phrased.
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And then the impact on you and yourself and your body, as well as your relationships.
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Um, and I think I think that's it.
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I think that is key to what I was trying to get across um earlier in the year.
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And I went really, really deep in research and got myself a little bit into a hole uh with that um that felt overwhelming, that felt disparaging, that felt um hopeless.
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And it's really hard to move when you are facing hopelessness, which is also why we have to examine these things, um, and and use our examinations in a specific way.
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Um God, yeah.
00:29:04.880 --> 00:29:33.359
When I went last week, I had like some of the best chats I've had in a long time with strangers, and not like surface level chats, like good deep examining chats about everything music, um travel, like all of these little pieces that make up and are part of the system.
00:29:33.680 --> 00:29:37.839
There's not one piece that you remove and it doesn't impact another.
00:29:38.000 --> 00:29:39.920
It's the domino effect, right?
00:29:40.480 --> 00:29:42.400
Uh so that that's that's it.
00:29:42.559 --> 00:30:04.960
If if you were struggling to see uh what I was talking about in regards to how these overarching systems um impact you know our day-to-day, sure, it comes down to the media and the what the algorithm shows us, um, what shows up on our timelines, our for you pages, all of that.
00:30:05.200 --> 00:30:18.799
But all of that feeds into our thinking and our beliefs and how we approach ourselves and how approaching ourselves then impacts how we approach people around us.
00:30:19.119 --> 00:30:21.599
Um and then it cycles, right?
00:30:21.680 --> 00:30:47.599
Like it's this infinity symbol of movement through the cycle and through the systems of patriarchy and capitalism and moving that through work and play and our relationships, um, and being in nature, or not being in nature, or having access to nature, not having access to nature, right?
00:30:47.839 --> 00:30:52.960
All of these things have inextricable links to each other.
00:30:53.200 --> 00:30:56.799
Um, God, I haven't, I don't even know what episode it's in.
00:30:56.960 --> 00:31:04.480
I just know it from the meme, um, which I recently learned is like a very old word.
00:31:04.559 --> 00:31:08.480
It's from like the 1700s, which is fucking hilarious.
00:31:08.640 --> 00:31:17.680
I can't remember what it came from right now, but like the etymology of meme is like very, very old, which is so funny to me.
00:31:17.920 --> 00:31:22.640
Um, but I'm pretty sure it's a meme from Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
00:31:22.720 --> 00:31:30.000
I've only watched that like a I've only watched a handful of episodes, and it was almost 20 years ago at this point.
00:31:30.400 --> 00:31:42.720
Um but with the like detective ward, I guess is what I would say, with all the pins and the red string.
00:31:43.119 --> 00:32:06.400
Um that is is kind of what our world looks like with all these like interlocking pins, and that's why I call it a matrix, and that's likely why the movie is called the matrix, but I'm not talking about it in the sense of the movie matrix, I'm just talking about it in the sense of um connection and infer if you are a visual person, that's what I'm trying to get across.
00:32:06.559 --> 00:32:12.079
Um, it can also connect back to quantum physics, which is like also really enjoyable.
00:32:12.240 --> 00:32:17.599
Um, I've been getting back into that recently and and reading about entanglement and whatnot.
00:32:17.839 --> 00:32:19.279
But all these things, right?
00:32:19.440 --> 00:32:24.000
How our atoms move, it's all impacted.
00:32:25.839 --> 00:32:28.319
It's enough to make someone go crazy.
00:32:28.640 --> 00:32:30.799
But uh, I'll let you go.
00:32:31.599 --> 00:32:36.319
I'm not gonna take a deep breath with you, but I will give you space if you want to take a deep breath.
00:32:36.400 --> 00:32:41.200
If I take a deep breath, it will likely result in a coughing fit, and I'm not gonna cut that out.
00:32:41.599 --> 00:32:54.079
Um so if you want to take a deep breath, take an inhale here, and then let it go.
00:32:58.160 --> 00:33:05.039
Who knows if and when I'll be back, but uh I love you, and we will chat soon.
00:33:05.359 --> 00:33:06.000
Bye.
00:33:06.559 --> 00:33:08.160
Thanks for listening.
00:33:08.400 --> 00:33:13.200
If you want to get in touch, find us on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook.
00:33:13.359 --> 00:33:18.079
You can also send an email to thisinscure life at gmail.com.
00:33:18.880 --> 00:33:23.279
Music by Mies Darlene, their song since when?
00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:02.640
Let's get ready to talk insecurity.
00:00:02.879 --> 00:00:06.080
Cause you're listening to this insecure life.
00:00:09.839 --> 00:00:11.439
Oh boy.
00:00:12.000 --> 00:00:15.919
Uh shocker, not shocker.
00:00:16.239 --> 00:00:17.039
Who's shocked?
00:00:17.199 --> 00:00:17.760
Anyone?
00:00:17.920 --> 00:00:19.039
Um, hey.
00:00:19.920 --> 00:00:39.039
Uh I don't have a ton to say, but I felt as if um I should pop on and make in a statement, you know, but maybe connecting some dots.
00:00:39.359 --> 00:01:04.319
Um based on the conversations that I had started to have um, you know, in February when I came back uh about systems and the overarching systems and then our interpersonal um relationships and how those things are interconnected because of the Cornell case.
00:01:04.480 --> 00:01:14.879
Um so the Cornell University, as they have tried to dub them the Cornell 7, to try and connect them to the Central Park 5.
00:01:15.359 --> 00:01:19.599
Um these are all little tactics, right?
00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:27.439
Um, to get into our heads in in a very um subtle way.
00:01:27.680 --> 00:01:31.200
That's the nature of something like propaganda, right?
00:01:31.280 --> 00:01:35.920
There's not necessarily overt, it's subtle, it is covert, it is quiet.
00:01:36.400 --> 00:01:42.079
Um and that's kind of just what I wanted to state about that.
00:01:42.319 --> 00:01:53.439
Um, if you've listened to anything I've I've put out here, or um, we've connected in person, you likely know how I feel about these types of situations.
00:01:53.840 --> 00:02:06.000
But I feel like it's a really good case and a really good example of how the systems work in tangent to all these other relationships.
00:02:06.239 --> 00:02:25.280
Um, and the outrage that you are seeing online and potentially in conversations you were having with people in your life, if these are topics you uh talk about with your friends and your family and your partners, um, or reading a magazine on the street and someone mentioned something, right?
00:02:25.919 --> 00:03:37.759
These systems are all interconnected in such a big way, and the fact that it's two years later that we are hearing about it solely because um it had to go through civil court, not through criminal court, um, for a variety of reasons, including I didn't know this, and feel free to send me a message or correct me if I'm wrong, but the fact that in New York State, which I don't even think I realized Cornell is in New York, um, New York State rather, um there's a lot of universities slash colleges in the US, and so I don't typically pay attention to them in a big way, but uh that in New York State, um there's like the weird uh you can't be criminally charged if someone has been drinking or under the influence of something, um, which is crazy, and hopefully someone uh who's more versed in that knowledge than me and who lives in the United States in New York is you know working on changing that law.
00:03:38.080 --> 00:03:42.639
Um But yeah, so that's that's why it's come to light, right?
00:03:42.719 --> 00:03:44.560
It's it's two years later.
00:03:44.879 --> 00:03:59.280
Um whatever happens in the dark will come to the light, and it's something I've just been continuously telling myself for years, but it's it's really become a mantra in the last like 18 months, um, because it's grounding.
00:03:59.360 --> 00:04:08.479
Uh so shout out to Teen Wolf for pulling out that little bit of a Buddhist um mantra that I like to come back to.
00:04:08.639 --> 00:04:10.560
Um that's where I first heard of it.
00:04:10.879 --> 00:04:16.000
And yeah, so I mean, long story short, right?
00:04:16.319 --> 00:04:22.160
Um the overarching systems here, and it's more than one system, but it's it's the systems at work.
00:04:22.319 --> 00:04:40.560
So the university system, the justice system, um the conversation around media in and of itself could be, you know, regarded as some type of system now, um, as well as a disbursement of information.
00:04:41.040 --> 00:05:05.360
Um, but I've seen more, and I want to acknowledge this, I've seen more men come forward with this case to state like, this is unacceptable, that seven hours of essentially torture and bodily uh violation got you know reduced to writing an essay.
00:05:05.439 --> 00:05:14.160
Um, for people that will likely be in positions of prominence and power, and that's what we come back to, right?
00:05:14.480 --> 00:05:17.759
So I've said it before, I'm pretty sure like follow the money.
00:05:17.920 --> 00:05:20.240
Where's the money coming from and where is it going?
00:05:20.639 --> 00:05:28.079
Um, and who are these people and how are they navigating the world in and of themselves?
00:05:28.319 --> 00:05:34.720
Um, and how that has impacted us as a whole.
00:05:34.800 --> 00:05:46.160
Uh, it's been really wild because there's been a ton of high-profile cases um revolving around broken systems in general.
00:05:46.240 --> 00:05:56.879
Uh, I will not get into it because it's a disaster and messy, and I don't feel as if I have the proper knowledge on it.
00:05:57.120 --> 00:06:08.399
But even the Lindsay Clancy case at a baseline, the system was broken there in regards to the failure in a full investigation.
00:06:08.959 --> 00:06:25.360
Um, if you see photos from that night, uh, there's no police line put up, there was no police tape put up, there was no basic sort of investigation done at that level of protocol.
00:06:25.519 --> 00:06:42.639
And so that's what I say when we have to look at how the systems operate and then what becomes of it when these systems start to operate outside of what we're looking for, and it's things like that leads to in how my brain works.
00:06:42.879 --> 00:06:48.319
Um, I'm sure we could have some like really hefty discussions about it.
00:06:48.399 --> 00:07:11.680
I don't want to say arguments because I think there's a lot of leeway here to have discussions about things like this, but that becomes things like when you immediately go, okay, well, that was the only person home without investigating the full timeline of the day and all the details pulled together, right?
00:07:11.839 --> 00:07:13.600
Not just one or two things.
00:07:13.839 --> 00:07:22.319
Um, and why wasn't investigated as a whole, then comes, well, what was the um police force doing, right?
00:07:22.399 --> 00:07:31.759
Like why wasn't investigated, or why are the cases in Massachusetts consistently, especially when it comes to cases involving women?
00:07:32.000 --> 00:07:40.480
Um those are the big ones I know about, so don't you know quote me on that um or come at me for it.
00:07:40.720 --> 00:07:50.959
But the cases I am aware of that have bigger um media coverage at least are ones that have involved women, like uh the Karen Reed trial, right?
00:07:51.120 --> 00:07:56.560
Again, deep connections to the police force, what happened there?
00:07:56.800 --> 00:08:08.480
So, what what does the system look like when it starts to break down and when we stop giving due process to prominent and privileged white women?
00:08:08.639 --> 00:08:13.040
What does that mean for things like ICE, right?
00:08:13.839 --> 00:08:22.800
Things like um black and um people of color, right?
00:08:22.959 --> 00:08:30.079
Like like other ethnicities, other races, other people that are marginalized.
00:08:30.240 --> 00:08:53.279
What does it look for when you can not go through due process for rich white women or wealthy white women um who are you know the peak of motherhood or um success in regards to like what women look like and or should look like, quote unquote.
00:08:53.519 --> 00:09:15.519
Um when we stop doing due process for them and people accept it, they don't question it, they go with it, they don't have additional inquiries about what happened, where, when, and at a baseline, I don't I don't care who you believe um murdered.
00:09:15.679 --> 00:09:28.080
I don't know what his name was in the Karen Reed trial, or you know, I do think that the three children deserve justice, but justice isn't just pinning in on whoever is the easiest person to pin it on.
00:09:28.320 --> 00:09:35.519
Justice is actual justice in regards to getting the truth out there, and systems break down.
00:09:35.840 --> 00:09:42.080
Um or are they broken or are they working as you know they've been set up to?
00:09:42.240 --> 00:09:49.600
And now they're just impacting the people that um society looks at differently, right?
00:09:49.759 --> 00:10:00.240
So these are these are the things that I was trying to get at, and um this this goes with this Cornell uh university case as well.
00:10:00.399 --> 00:10:14.399
Um, the implications of calling them the Cornell 7 in regards to calling and bringing into sort of that, oh, Lily must be innocent because the Segelberk 5 ended up being innocent, right?
00:10:14.639 --> 00:10:17.919
That connection is so insidious.
00:10:18.080 --> 00:10:20.320
Um, and people have called it out online.
00:10:20.559 --> 00:10:28.480
Um, I've seen multiple craters that discuss these things in general or were just outraged, um, point it out.
00:10:28.960 --> 00:10:58.080
And so keeping in mind how things are labeled, how people are labeled, um the truths and untruths, and and the fact that AI is such a big part of our lives that day now, our lives today, Jesus, that um things can be mimicked or created or adapted, um, that we don't all have the skills to spot.
00:10:58.240 --> 00:11:11.600
I am very bad at spotting certain things on AI, especially if I'm scrolling quickly or if I'm reading quickly, um, you know, or you're exhausted and you see it and you're not processing to your full ability.
00:11:11.840 --> 00:11:17.120
You're sick, like all these factors um matter in regards to how we think.
00:11:17.200 --> 00:11:26.960
And that's similar to this is such an overarching um episode conversation that I I've started here.
00:11:27.120 --> 00:11:37.440
Uh, that's similar to why dieting and GLP1s are taking off, in my opinion, in some ways.
00:11:37.600 --> 00:11:46.000
Um, there's research there that shows we don't know the long-term effects of drugs like GLP1s on the body.
00:11:46.159 --> 00:11:49.519
Um, there are some horrific side effects that they hid.
00:11:50.320 --> 00:12:08.399
And ultimately, it keeps you malnourished and it keeps you weak because most people don't have the time to properly fuel themselves and then go to the gym and build those muscles up or work out at home or go for the 10K walk that they need to go to to keep their muscles strong.
00:12:08.639 --> 00:12:20.559
Um, and we don't eat carbohydrates in the proper manner and in the way that our body processes it, like our brain cannot function.
00:12:20.720 --> 00:12:23.600
That's like that's just that's just how it works.
00:12:23.759 --> 00:12:33.600
Um, and our organs will shut down eventually, and it might be a long haul, but in that you don't have the fight in you that you have when you're properly fueled, right?
00:12:34.240 --> 00:12:42.000
Um think of things that you've acquiesced on when um you haven't gotten a good night's sleep.
00:12:42.159 --> 00:12:44.720
It's similar to that, but it's compounded.
00:12:44.879 --> 00:12:51.600
Um, so that exhaustion, that underfueling, that undernourishment is all part of the system.
00:12:52.159 --> 00:13:01.200
Um so yeah, so these things are all connected, and that's that's kind of what spurred me.
00:13:01.360 --> 00:13:15.279
I don't have a ton of big thoughts to say beyond here is a really good example of what I was trying to connect um and start the conversation about earlier in the year.
00:13:15.440 --> 00:13:21.600
Uh, what else has shown up that I've been like, oh yeah, um something else.
00:13:21.679 --> 00:13:27.440
It popped into my mind as I was speaking, which you know, shower thoughts, talking thoughts, that's what I have.
00:13:27.679 --> 00:13:32.240
Um it's that examination.
00:13:32.399 --> 00:13:41.279
And again, it's if we can let certain people off, and I would, I would, I don't know.
00:13:41.519 --> 00:13:45.679
We don't know, and from my standpoint, I am Jane Doe.
00:13:45.759 --> 00:13:49.679
If someone were to ask, I would give them my name for the Cornell student.
00:13:49.919 --> 00:13:56.799
Um that Michael journalist who was trying to dox her, absolutely abhorrent.
00:13:57.120 --> 00:14:11.759
Um, but I would not be surprised if Jane Doe um turned out to be uh one of Cornell's like marginalized women.
00:14:11.919 --> 00:14:18.799
Um, so had been on a scholarship, or I don't I don't know much about this case, so maybe this is all out there, you know.
00:14:19.200 --> 00:14:38.639
Um because if she was privileged, if she was a white woman, I want to say that I think it's way more likely that they would have either refunded her or done a little bit different in regards to how it went.
00:14:38.879 --> 00:14:45.919
Um, because the fact that they wouldn't give the tuition money back is absolutely bonkers to me.
00:14:46.320 --> 00:14:48.720
Um bonkers.
00:14:48.960 --> 00:14:59.440
And that also says to me that this person needed that money because if you are wealth, that money would not be worth your sanity and your mental health.
00:14:59.519 --> 00:15:01.919
Um, you would just get out of the situation.
00:15:02.960 --> 00:15:11.360
So there are a lot of factors built into this that I think are really pertinent in regards to the discussion I was making.
00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:21.919
Um and how the systems protect us when we get into interpersonal relationships, right?
00:15:22.080 --> 00:15:30.159
That power of the greater system, wherever you land in that system or the system as a whole, trickles down.
00:15:31.840 --> 00:15:38.000
Reagan was right in regards to trickle-down economics in some ways, but it's not really economics, right?
00:15:38.080 --> 00:15:47.279
It's uh trickle-down bias and um hatred and right like wild.
00:15:47.440 --> 00:15:50.000
It's it's also an epigenetic type thing.
00:15:50.159 --> 00:15:56.080
Um, this is I'm not being serious when I say that.
00:15:56.240 --> 00:15:57.360
Fuck Reagan.
00:15:57.519 --> 00:16:13.840
Um, but I hope those epigenetics trickle down, you know, gets sort of across what I'm trying to say in regards to the overall system having an impact when it comes down to those one-on-one relationships we have, right?
00:16:14.159 --> 00:16:20.080
She was invited over by someone that she was friends with, and it went from there.
00:16:20.399 --> 00:16:31.759
Um, and yeah, and and and so questioning whether in your day-to-day life you notice these things and you say something, right?
00:16:32.000 --> 00:16:43.200
Like it's been proven that the bystander effect isn't a real thing, and it didn't actually happen in the Kitty Genovese case in the way that people said people did call 911.
00:16:43.759 --> 00:16:52.559
But we have to again examine that from um who was calling the area they were calling from, all of these things factor in, and it's a lot.
00:16:52.799 --> 00:16:54.240
Please don't get me wrong.
00:16:54.399 --> 00:17:10.960
It it's all of these things happening at once is exhausting and overwhelming, and our systems are already exhausted and overwhelmed, and that's why we truly actually have to be there for each other in the small ways.
00:17:11.200 --> 00:17:19.519
Um things like knowing what your friends are going through, giving them space when they need it, right?
00:17:19.839 --> 00:17:27.839
Um, but showing up, sending a short text, um, letting them know they don't need to reply, but like you're there.
00:17:28.079 --> 00:17:39.519
Um I recently had someone bring me over, you know, chicken soup and um a bagel and um some COVID tests because I couldn't find them, but they knew where to get them.
00:17:39.680 --> 00:17:52.880
And so things like that, or even I, you know, went out recently and um I've said it before, I've cried on every bus I've ever been in, in any city I've ever been in.
00:17:53.039 --> 00:17:58.400
Um not every bus I've ever been in, but in any city I've been in, I have cried on a bus or in public transportation.
00:18:01.680 --> 00:18:04.880
Except for Athens, which is fucking funny actually.
00:18:05.119 --> 00:18:20.240
Um but I was in a state, um, and I've been trying to keep it together and uh showed up somewhere, and and the person that was helping me just, you know, said like, can I give you a hug?
00:18:20.319 --> 00:18:24.319
And in the last year, I've had some good hugs.
00:18:24.480 --> 00:18:41.119
Um, but there are two moments of you know people looking at me and knowing I needed a hug, and one was at the vet uh last December, and the veterinary clinic was new.
00:18:41.279 --> 00:18:43.119
Um, so the vet was new to me.
00:18:43.200 --> 00:18:46.960
We didn't, I think this was the first time I met her, maybe the second time.
00:18:47.200 --> 00:18:52.000
Um and she gave me one of the best hugs I've had in a very long time.
00:18:52.240 --> 00:19:00.880
And then yeah, last weekend I got um a hug from another stranger that I just met, and it really turned my night around.
00:19:01.119 --> 00:19:03.680
Um and that's what I mean.
00:19:03.839 --> 00:19:06.240
I don't know anything else about this person.
00:19:06.640 --> 00:19:12.799
I met a lot of people that night that like I don't know much about them.
00:19:13.200 --> 00:19:24.000
Um but it was one of those like moments in time that is like okay, this is affirming.
00:19:24.319 --> 00:19:34.079
And it's those little things that um make a strong community um and that keep us going.
00:19:34.240 --> 00:20:01.119
Uh those those moments of connection are really important and they help give us strength and give us um insight and give us um the ability to look at systems and look at our relationships and um I say and a lot kind of slice, um but that's that's the key, right?
00:20:01.440 --> 00:20:05.599
It doesn't have to be anything big to actually make a difference.
00:20:05.839 --> 00:20:18.400
Um that's like two summers ago now, I guess, 2025, when the man at the corner store like checked in on me.
00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:22.960
Um just genuinely checked in on me.
00:20:24.240 --> 00:20:26.559
And I didn't realize I needed that.
00:20:28.240 --> 00:21:03.119
Um our lives are so intertwined and they're so connected, and I don't say that in a way that is like our lives are systems, um, matrix, like that's not what I'm saying with that, but but we do in our day-to-day lives, we come across people that we may not even recognize, um, but they in at the same place at the same time as us in the same restaurant, you know, 14 times already, but they've been across the room, right?
00:21:03.200 --> 00:21:14.799
We have these weird um matrix-like connections with a lot of people, and that is a good thing.
00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:19.279
That's not poetic in any way, but that's what it is.
00:21:19.440 --> 00:21:41.279
Um, and so we can go from system down or we can go from that up, and unfortunately, a lot of the times we do go system down, and it hurts us, but if we were to build from our community up, that's where, you know, I think the good stuff is.
00:21:41.440 --> 00:21:48.480
That's when we can say, This is what works for our community, this is what doesn't work for our community, and and build around that.
00:21:48.640 --> 00:21:50.000
Um, it's so funny.
00:21:50.079 --> 00:21:59.759
I was literally just talking to someone about uh an annual card exchange in a group I've run for almost 10 years now.
00:22:00.960 --> 00:22:04.400
And I I couldn't I couldn't do it a couple years.
00:22:04.480 --> 00:22:08.799
I just I just I was unable to it couldn't I couldn't.
00:22:08.880 --> 00:22:18.240
I did not have the energy not a good place and I just was like I can't I know this is a well-loved thing, I can't do it.
00:22:18.319 --> 00:22:22.240
And they offered to take it on I think three years ago now.
00:22:22.480 --> 00:22:42.160
Um I could be wrong about that, it might be four, but you know, around that time, and we just talked about how it's been almost 10 years, and it's like yeah, I do want to help next year, so like I can plan that, I can plan for that, right?
00:22:42.400 --> 00:23:01.359
And we pretty much only talk like when she puts the post up, and you know, but it's this like really delightful piece of the community, and it works and it keeps people connected.
00:23:01.599 --> 00:23:09.039
Um it's why I think like whimsy has started to grow, right?
00:23:09.359 --> 00:23:28.319
Like, and I don't mean the aesthetic type of whimsy, I mean true whimsy um has sort of started to like creep into how people want to be, and I think that is beautiful.
00:23:28.559 --> 00:23:33.200
I think finding those pieces are really, really lovely.
00:23:33.680 --> 00:23:59.440
Um and having that lightness is so important to find and ground in and keep so that we can examine the harder parts of our relationships, the harder parts of ourselves, the harder parts of the system that we're living in, um, so that we can make it better for everyone.
00:23:59.519 --> 00:24:21.519
And I and I mean that genuinely, like the scarcity mindset that I have for sure, but that the world as a whole has is so overwhelming, and that's what has led to a lot of hoarding, right?
00:24:21.599 --> 00:24:46.000
That's what um I don't actually know the the deep delving into, you know, hoarding disorders um in that need, which is funny because I do have a lot of stuff, I have a lot of clothes in particular, so like could I could I use the knowledge of myself and how I work with belongings to potentially examine it?
00:24:46.079 --> 00:24:50.559
Sure, but I'm going to miss things because again, I'm not trained in any of this.
00:24:50.640 --> 00:25:01.359
I just am curious, and I think curious is really good, which is funny.
00:25:01.680 --> 00:25:25.039
Again, there's no train of thought in this except for me to be trying to show that the Cornell University um alleged gang rape case um and how it's been talked about and perceived and worked with is a really good example of systems and interpersonal relationships and those connections I was talking about earlier.
00:25:26.079 --> 00:25:42.880
But curiosity, I think, can be a cure for that, and I mean that for everyone, where it's like we laugh and we joke and we go, oh, we're hyper-fixating, and some people do hyperfixate, and sometimes we're just exaggerating, right?
00:25:43.200 --> 00:25:48.960
Um, but when it comes to like known sayings, right?
00:25:49.119 --> 00:25:53.279
Like blood is thicker than water, that's not the full saying.
00:25:53.440 --> 00:25:59.599
And I believe we've talked about a few of these things, but it's like curiosity killed the cat, and we stop it there.
00:26:00.400 --> 00:26:10.640
Um but the full saying of that, I believe, is curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought it back.
00:26:10.799 --> 00:26:20.559
And so it's like if you follow that line of thinking, if you're curious and you're asking the questions and you're learning and you're discovering, that in and of itself can be fulfilling.
00:26:20.640 --> 00:26:22.000
And what does fulfillment bring?
00:26:22.240 --> 00:26:23.359
Satisfaction.
00:26:24.160 --> 00:26:24.559
Right?
00:26:24.720 --> 00:26:34.559
It's not necessarily about being right or wrong, it's it's about the satisfaction of being curious, of learning, of enjoying the journey.
00:26:34.799 --> 00:26:44.559
Um, and I think that gets lost in again, why are we cutting these sayings at certain spots?
00:26:45.200 --> 00:26:51.279
Um, how do they and language change, right?
00:26:51.440 --> 00:26:53.440
The use of language change.
00:26:54.079 --> 00:26:56.319
Um, what's the importance of that?
00:26:56.480 --> 00:27:03.279
Like all these ideas have threads that you can pull on to get to something bigger.
00:27:04.319 --> 00:27:21.359
And that is the importance of it, and not in a conspiracy theory type way, um, not in a detrimental to your mental health type way, not in this is better than that.
00:27:21.599 --> 00:27:26.799
But if you pull on a thread because you're curious about it, what could it lead you to?
00:27:26.960 --> 00:27:29.599
And genuinely, what could it lead you to?
00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:32.559
What are you seeking?
00:27:32.880 --> 00:27:41.359
In that seeking is likely something that you're missing, whether that is knowledge, whether that is satisfaction.
00:27:41.680 --> 00:28:05.839
And so those are important things to keep in mind when cases like Karen Reed, Lindsay Clancy, um, Cornell University, uh, gang rape all come up, um, is how people talk about them, what's being said, what's being shown, the optics around it, um, the connections people are trying to draw through how things are phrased.
00:28:06.079 --> 00:28:12.640
And then the impact on you and yourself and your body, as well as your relationships.
00:28:12.880 --> 00:28:15.680
Um, and I think I think that's it.
00:28:15.759 --> 00:28:23.440
I think that is key to what I was trying to get across um earlier in the year.
00:28:23.680 --> 00:28:40.319
And I went really, really deep in research and got myself a little bit into a hole uh with that um that felt overwhelming, that felt disparaging, that felt um hopeless.
00:28:41.440 --> 00:29:00.000
And it's really hard to move when you are facing hopelessness, which is also why we have to examine these things, um, and and use our examinations in a specific way.
00:29:00.559 --> 00:29:04.319
Um God, yeah.
00:29:04.880 --> 00:29:33.359
When I went last week, I had like some of the best chats I've had in a long time with strangers, and not like surface level chats, like good deep examining chats about everything music, um travel, like all of these little pieces that make up and are part of the system.
00:29:33.680 --> 00:29:37.839
There's not one piece that you remove and it doesn't impact another.
00:29:38.000 --> 00:29:39.920
It's the domino effect, right?
00:29:40.480 --> 00:29:42.400
Uh so that that's that's it.
00:29:42.559 --> 00:30:04.960
If if you were struggling to see uh what I was talking about in regards to how these overarching systems um impact you know our day-to-day, sure, it comes down to the media and the what the algorithm shows us, um, what shows up on our timelines, our for you pages, all of that.
00:30:05.200 --> 00:30:18.799
But all of that feeds into our thinking and our beliefs and how we approach ourselves and how approaching ourselves then impacts how we approach people around us.
00:30:19.119 --> 00:30:21.599
Um and then it cycles, right?
00:30:21.680 --> 00:30:47.599
Like it's this infinity symbol of movement through the cycle and through the systems of patriarchy and capitalism and moving that through work and play and our relationships, um, and being in nature, or not being in nature, or having access to nature, not having access to nature, right?
00:30:47.839 --> 00:30:52.960
All of these things have inextricable links to each other.
00:30:53.200 --> 00:30:56.799
Um, God, I haven't, I don't even know what episode it's in.
00:30:56.960 --> 00:31:04.480
I just know it from the meme, um, which I recently learned is like a very old word.
00:31:04.559 --> 00:31:08.480
It's from like the 1700s, which is fucking hilarious.
00:31:08.640 --> 00:31:17.680
I can't remember what it came from right now, but like the etymology of meme is like very, very old, which is so funny to me.
00:31:17.920 --> 00:31:22.640
Um, but I'm pretty sure it's a meme from Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
00:31:22.720 --> 00:31:30.000
I've only watched that like a I've only watched a handful of episodes, and it was almost 20 years ago at this point.
00:31:30.400 --> 00:31:42.720
Um but with the like detective ward, I guess is what I would say, with all the pins and the red string.
00:31:43.119 --> 00:32:06.400
Um that is is kind of what our world looks like with all these like interlocking pins, and that's why I call it a matrix, and that's likely why the movie is called the matrix, but I'm not talking about it in the sense of the movie matrix, I'm just talking about it in the sense of um connection and infer if you are a visual person, that's what I'm trying to get across.
00:32:06.559 --> 00:32:12.079
Um, it can also connect back to quantum physics, which is like also really enjoyable.
00:32:12.240 --> 00:32:17.599
Um, I've been getting back into that recently and and reading about entanglement and whatnot.
00:32:17.839 --> 00:32:19.279
But all these things, right?
00:32:19.440 --> 00:32:24.000
How our atoms move, it's all impacted.
00:32:25.839 --> 00:32:28.319
It's enough to make someone go crazy.
00:32:28.640 --> 00:32:30.799
But uh, I'll let you go.
00:32:31.599 --> 00:32:36.319
I'm not gonna take a deep breath with you, but I will give you space if you want to take a deep breath.
00:32:36.400 --> 00:32:41.200
If I take a deep breath, it will likely result in a coughing fit, and I'm not gonna cut that out.
00:32:41.599 --> 00:32:54.079
Um so if you want to take a deep breath, take an inhale here, and then let it go.
00:32:58.160 --> 00:33:05.039
Who knows if and when I'll be back, but uh I love you, and we will chat soon.
00:33:05.359 --> 00:33:06.000
Bye.
00:33:06.559 --> 00:33:08.160
Thanks for listening.
00:33:08.400 --> 00:33:13.200
If you want to get in touch, find us on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook.
00:33:13.359 --> 00:33:18.079
You can also send an email to thisinscure life at gmail.com.
00:33:18.880 --> 00:33:23.279
Music by Mies Darlene, their song since when?
