WEBVTT
00:00:00.400 --> 00:00:06.480
For most of us, the real barrier to writing our stories isn't a lack of creativity or talent.
00:00:06.719 --> 00:00:09.119
It's the weight of our expectations.
00:00:09.759 --> 00:00:15.359
We have the pressure to get it right, to be efficient, to prove something with every word we put on the page.
00:00:15.519 --> 00:00:19.199
And that kind of pressure turns writing into a graded performance.
00:00:19.440 --> 00:00:24.960
And it's really hard to feel playful, joyful, or relaxed when you're performing.
00:00:25.280 --> 00:00:27.519
Welcome to the Write It Scared podcast.
00:00:27.679 --> 00:00:36.880
I'm your host, Stacey Fraser, a formerly repressed creative soul, turned fiction writer, story editor, and author accelerator certified fiction book coach.
00:00:37.039 --> 00:00:52.560
At Write It Scared, we tell the truth about why writing a novel is so hard by acknowledging that most writers grapple with two stories: the one they want to put on the page to the best of their ability, and the often subconscious internal story that prevents them from doing it.
00:00:52.880 --> 00:01:04.400
This show is designed to help you identify and rewrite the internal narrative holding you back while you discover and write the story you want to tell and learn all the tools to help you do that successfully.
00:01:04.640 --> 00:01:12.319
Join me each week for a new episode where we'll talk about writing to deepen our understanding of the craft and of ourselves as writers.
00:01:12.640 --> 00:01:15.920
Writing a novel is an inside job that we do not do alone.
00:01:16.159 --> 00:01:17.680
Welcome to Write It Scared.
00:01:17.760 --> 00:01:18.719
I'm glad you're here.
00:01:18.879 --> 00:01:20.159
Let's dive in.
00:01:21.680 --> 00:01:24.400
Hey writer, welcome back to the Write It Scared Podcast.
00:01:24.480 --> 00:01:25.920
I'm your host, Stacey Fraser.
00:01:26.079 --> 00:01:32.560
This is where we talk about the brave and vulnerable act of writing our novels so that we can do it with more confidence and clarity and not feel so alone.
00:01:32.799 --> 00:01:37.680
Today's a solo episode, and we haven't had one in a while, and we're gonna talk some mindset.
00:01:37.920 --> 00:01:43.920
Specifically, if it's possible to incorporate more play into our writing process.
00:01:44.239 --> 00:02:01.519
So if you've been feeling stuck in drafting a revision, you feel weighed down by expectations, or burned out by the writing productivity culture, or guilty because writing just hasn't felt fun lately, this one's for you.
00:02:01.680 --> 00:02:05.200
But before we dive into that, I want to share a quick podcast update.
00:02:05.439 --> 00:02:06.799
We are winding down.
00:02:06.959 --> 00:02:08.400
Season three is almost over.
00:02:08.560 --> 00:02:11.840
We have one more guest episode to go and then our rep-up episode.
00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:17.120
And this has been a long season, and so I'm gonna take the summer off, but it's been equally wonderful.
00:02:17.280 --> 00:02:20.719
We've had so many amazing guests, and I appreciate them all.
00:02:20.960 --> 00:02:24.159
And just to remind you, the courage files are open for submission.
00:02:24.240 --> 00:02:33.280
And if this is your first time joining us and you don't know what the courage files are, it's a new segment that I'm going to introduce on the podcast in September when we come back for season four.
00:02:33.520 --> 00:02:37.840
And the point is to celebrate listener writing wins, your wins.
00:02:38.080 --> 00:02:41.280
No matter how big or small, because we need to.
00:02:41.439 --> 00:02:46.159
We need to give ourselves the credit and stop waiting for somebody else to do it for us.
00:02:46.319 --> 00:02:49.199
As Mel Robbins says, no one's coming, right?
00:02:49.759 --> 00:02:54.560
So if you opened your laptop and looked at your manuscript for the first time in a month, that's a win.
00:02:54.800 --> 00:02:57.039
If you wrote for 10 minutes, that's a win.
00:02:57.199 --> 00:03:00.479
If you revised a scene, that's a win.
00:03:00.719 --> 00:03:04.560
If you met another writer and made a connection, that's a win.
00:03:04.800 --> 00:03:15.280
So if you have a writing win, again, it doesn't matter how big or small, you can submit it through the link in the show notes or go to writeitscared.co forward slash courage hyphen files.
00:03:15.439 --> 00:03:17.759
And with your permission, I'll share it on the podcast.
00:03:17.919 --> 00:03:21.280
That way other writers can benefit from your moment of writing courage.
00:03:21.439 --> 00:03:23.280
And that's how we spread hope in the world.
00:03:23.439 --> 00:03:27.120
And I know that sounds kind of Pollyanna, but I don't give a damn.
00:03:27.439 --> 00:03:34.400
I believe in the idea of hearing other people's stories, and that's how we spread hope.
00:03:34.639 --> 00:03:38.800
So if you want to submit a writing win, go to the link in the show notes or go to the website.
00:03:38.960 --> 00:03:45.039
And if you do, you'll be automatically entered to win a developmental edit and a book coaching session with me.
00:03:45.280 --> 00:03:48.080
All right, so let's move on to our topic for the day.
00:03:48.319 --> 00:03:56.800
A few weeks ago, a listener left a comment in the Spotify comment section for the podcast and asked, How do I actually play with my writing?
00:03:57.039 --> 00:04:00.400
And it's such a fair question because we hear that advice all the time.
00:04:00.560 --> 00:04:02.560
As a book coach, I give it all the time.
00:04:02.639 --> 00:04:05.039
I say, have fun, be playful, don't overthink it.
00:04:05.599 --> 00:04:11.120
But no one, including me, really explains what that looks like in real life.
00:04:11.919 --> 00:04:14.159
So I thought today I would give it my best shot.
00:04:14.719 --> 00:04:22.480
When I think about play, just in general, it involves a sense of ease and most of the time in my house a great big mess.
00:04:22.879 --> 00:04:31.040
But there's experimentation, a willingness to be a little silly, and an enjoyment of the process, regardless of how things turn out.
00:04:31.519 --> 00:04:37.120
It feels low stakes, like you're allowed to just try things without judging them.
00:04:37.680 --> 00:04:43.439
But when we sit down to write, how much of that kind of energy do we actually bring to the table?
00:04:44.160 --> 00:04:54.399
When I sat back and evaluated my own writing process, I realized that if I'm being honest, there are plenty of days that I come to the page and it doesn't feel like play at all.
00:04:54.639 --> 00:05:06.240
It feels rote, like routine, like work, like showing up because I said I would, not because I'm particularly inspired about what I'm writing or excited about the work.
00:05:06.639 --> 00:05:14.000
This is especially true for me right now when I'm deep in revision with a book that I'm frankly tired of and one that feels like it's trying to break my brain.
00:05:14.319 --> 00:05:21.040
But what I realized is that even on the days that are a grind, something important happens.
00:05:21.360 --> 00:05:27.199
When I finish a writing session, no matter the outcome, I still walk away with a sense of accomplishment.
00:05:27.279 --> 00:05:30.959
And I trust myself a little bit more because I followed through.
00:05:31.120 --> 00:05:33.199
I kept a commitment to myself.
00:05:33.439 --> 00:05:37.519
And that builds my integrity, even if it's not fun to do in the moment.
00:05:37.839 --> 00:06:02.000
But then there's other times when the writing does feel more like play, and I've noticed those moments tend to show up earlier in my writing process, when things feel more open, more fresh, when I'm staring at the clouds, just daydreaming up a story and everything feels possible, or when I'm jotting ideas down in a notebook, or maybe I'm out for a long walk with my dogs and I'm just listening to music and a scene will take shape in my imagination.
00:06:02.240 --> 00:06:05.439
There's this sense of lightness and curiosity.
00:06:05.680 --> 00:06:09.680
And I don't have the worry of am I getting this right?
00:06:10.160 --> 00:06:13.920
Drafting can feel like that for me too, sometimes at the best of times.
00:06:14.240 --> 00:06:20.639
I still feel some pressure, but I definitely feel like there's more room to experiment with an idea and just to see where it goes.
00:06:21.439 --> 00:06:30.560
And underneath all of that, over time I've quietly cultivated this belief that I can fix whatever's not working later.
00:06:31.519 --> 00:06:40.240
So I don't know if play is something you can force into your process or even intentionally incorporate.
00:06:40.560 --> 00:06:41.680
Maybe you can.
00:06:42.399 --> 00:06:48.480
But it definitely seems to be something that shows up naturally when the pressure comes down.
00:06:49.040 --> 00:06:57.040
And I do believe that we can remind ourselves, as often as needed, to simply lower our expectations in the moment.
00:06:57.839 --> 00:07:03.839
For most of us, the real barrier to writing our stories isn't a lack of creativity or talent.
00:07:04.079 --> 00:07:06.399
It's the weight of our expectations.
00:07:07.199 --> 00:07:12.639
We have the pressure to get it right, to be efficient, to prove something with every word we put on the page.
00:07:12.800 --> 00:07:16.560
And that kind of pressure turns writing into a graded performance.
00:07:16.800 --> 00:07:22.720
And it's really hard to feel playful, joyful, or relaxed when you're performing, at least for me.
00:07:22.959 --> 00:07:27.600
So maybe the question isn't how do I bring more play into my writing process?
00:07:27.839 --> 00:07:29.759
Maybe that's the wrong angle.
00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:37.839
Maybe it's better to think of it like, how do I lower the stakes enough that I'm willing to show up, explore, and stick with it.
00:07:38.480 --> 00:07:43.920
So that might look like letting yourself write a messy scene that you know won't make it into the final draft.
00:07:44.079 --> 00:07:51.199
You're just using it to better inform yourself of your characters or of an event in the plot.
00:07:51.439 --> 00:07:59.680
Or maybe you follow a thread of curiosity without worrying where it leads or how it factors into the cause and effect of the entire story.
00:07:59.920 --> 00:08:09.759
It might mean focusing on the parts of the story that you love while setting aside the ones that feel too heavy or that seem to get you stuck.
00:08:10.000 --> 00:08:14.000
Lowering expectations is not about letting ourselves off the hook.
00:08:14.160 --> 00:08:19.120
We're still showing up, but we're also giving ourselves more room to breathe and maneuver.
00:08:19.360 --> 00:08:21.920
So maybe that's what play looks like in writing.
00:08:22.160 --> 00:08:33.360
Maybe it's not supposed to feel like constant joy or ease, but enough freedom to explore without fear and enough trust to believe that you can figure the rest out later.
00:08:33.679 --> 00:08:36.240
So, how do you incorporate more play into your writing?
00:08:36.480 --> 00:08:37.440
Not really sure.
00:08:37.759 --> 00:08:41.759
But I think it's beneficial to stop and evaluate your process.
00:08:42.000 --> 00:08:43.840
When do you feel the most freedom?
00:08:44.000 --> 00:08:48.559
And when do you find yourself starting to feel contraction or pressure?
00:08:49.200 --> 00:08:52.639
And when that happens, can you take a deep breath?
00:08:52.799 --> 00:09:01.440
Remember what you like about the story, remind yourself to lower your expectations, and give yourself a little more breathing room.
00:09:01.759 --> 00:09:07.120
Reassure yourself that books are made in layers, and you can fix whatever needs fixing later.
00:09:07.360 --> 00:09:21.360
I hope this episode gives you some food for thought about your writing process and what you want it to feel like and how you can incorporate a little more flexibility, fluidity, permission, and hopefully more joy and ease as you learn to lower your expectations.
00:09:21.679 --> 00:09:24.159
I'll be back next week with a new guest.
00:09:24.480 --> 00:09:25.360
Thank you for joining me.
00:09:25.440 --> 00:09:34.000
And remember the courage files are open for submission, and you can find the link in the show notes or go to write itscared.co forward slash courage hyphen files.
00:09:34.480 --> 00:09:37.360
Thank you for listening to the Ride It Scared podcast.
00:09:37.519 --> 00:09:42.159
If you enjoyed today's show, please make sure to hit the follow button so you never miss an episode.
00:09:42.320 --> 00:09:43.840
And please leave a review.
00:09:44.000 --> 00:09:50.559
Reviews help other writers like you find the voices and messages they need to hear to continue to write their stories.
00:09:50.720 --> 00:09:51.919
Let's lift each other up.
00:09:52.080 --> 00:09:54.960
Remember, you can be scared and still be unstoppable.
00:09:55.120 --> 00:09:56.720
I'll see you next week.
00:00:00.400 --> 00:00:06.480
For most of us, the real barrier to writing our stories isn't a lack of creativity or talent.
00:00:06.719 --> 00:00:09.119
It's the weight of our expectations.
00:00:09.759 --> 00:00:15.359
We have the pressure to get it right, to be efficient, to prove something with every word we put on the page.
00:00:15.519 --> 00:00:19.199
And that kind of pressure turns writing into a graded performance.
00:00:19.440 --> 00:00:24.960
And it's really hard to feel playful, joyful, or relaxed when you're performing.
00:00:25.280 --> 00:00:27.519
Welcome to the Write It Scared podcast.
00:00:27.679 --> 00:00:36.880
I'm your host, Stacey Fraser, a formerly repressed creative soul, turned fiction writer, story editor, and author accelerator certified fiction book coach.
00:00:37.039 --> 00:00:52.560
At Write It Scared, we tell the truth about why writing a novel is so hard by acknowledging that most writers grapple with two stories: the one they want to put on the page to the best of their ability, and the often subconscious internal story that prevents them from doing it.
00:00:52.880 --> 00:01:04.400
This show is designed to help you identify and rewrite the internal narrative holding you back while you discover and write the story you want to tell and learn all the tools to help you do that successfully.
00:01:04.640 --> 00:01:12.319
Join me each week for a new episode where we'll talk about writing to deepen our understanding of the craft and of ourselves as writers.
00:01:12.640 --> 00:01:15.920
Writing a novel is an inside job that we do not do alone.
00:01:16.159 --> 00:01:17.680
Welcome to Write It Scared.
00:01:17.760 --> 00:01:18.719
I'm glad you're here.
00:01:18.879 --> 00:01:20.159
Let's dive in.
00:01:21.680 --> 00:01:24.400
Hey writer, welcome back to the Write It Scared Podcast.
00:01:24.480 --> 00:01:25.920
I'm your host, Stacey Fraser.
00:01:26.079 --> 00:01:32.560
This is where we talk about the brave and vulnerable act of writing our novels so that we can do it with more confidence and clarity and not feel so alone.
00:01:32.799 --> 00:01:37.680
Today's a solo episode, and we haven't had one in a while, and we're gonna talk some mindset.
00:01:37.920 --> 00:01:43.920
Specifically, if it's possible to incorporate more play into our writing process.
00:01:44.239 --> 00:02:01.519
So if you've been feeling stuck in drafting a revision, you feel weighed down by expectations, or burned out by the writing productivity culture, or guilty because writing just hasn't felt fun lately, this one's for you.
00:02:01.680 --> 00:02:05.200
But before we dive into that, I want to share a quick podcast update.
00:02:05.439 --> 00:02:06.799
We are winding down.
00:02:06.959 --> 00:02:08.400
Season three is almost over.
00:02:08.560 --> 00:02:11.840
We have one more guest episode to go and then our rep-up episode.
00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:17.120
And this has been a long season, and so I'm gonna take the summer off, but it's been equally wonderful.
00:02:17.280 --> 00:02:20.719
We've had so many amazing guests, and I appreciate them all.
00:02:20.960 --> 00:02:24.159
And just to remind you, the courage files are open for submission.
00:02:24.240 --> 00:02:33.280
And if this is your first time joining us and you don't know what the courage files are, it's a new segment that I'm going to introduce on the podcast in September when we come back for season four.
00:02:33.520 --> 00:02:37.840
And the point is to celebrate listener writing wins, your wins.
00:02:38.080 --> 00:02:41.280
No matter how big or small, because we need to.
00:02:41.439 --> 00:02:46.159
We need to give ourselves the credit and stop waiting for somebody else to do it for us.
00:02:46.319 --> 00:02:49.199
As Mel Robbins says, no one's coming, right?
00:02:49.759 --> 00:02:54.560
So if you opened your laptop and looked at your manuscript for the first time in a month, that's a win.
00:02:54.800 --> 00:02:57.039
If you wrote for 10 minutes, that's a win.
00:02:57.199 --> 00:03:00.479
If you revised a scene, that's a win.
00:03:00.719 --> 00:03:04.560
If you met another writer and made a connection, that's a win.
00:03:04.800 --> 00:03:15.280
So if you have a writing win, again, it doesn't matter how big or small, you can submit it through the link in the show notes or go to writeitscared.co forward slash courage hyphen files.
00:03:15.439 --> 00:03:17.759
And with your permission, I'll share it on the podcast.
00:03:17.919 --> 00:03:21.280
That way other writers can benefit from your moment of writing courage.
00:03:21.439 --> 00:03:23.280
And that's how we spread hope in the world.
00:03:23.439 --> 00:03:27.120
And I know that sounds kind of Pollyanna, but I don't give a damn.
00:03:27.439 --> 00:03:34.400
I believe in the idea of hearing other people's stories, and that's how we spread hope.
00:03:34.639 --> 00:03:38.800
So if you want to submit a writing win, go to the link in the show notes or go to the website.
00:03:38.960 --> 00:03:45.039
And if you do, you'll be automatically entered to win a developmental edit and a book coaching session with me.
00:03:45.280 --> 00:03:48.080
All right, so let's move on to our topic for the day.
00:03:48.319 --> 00:03:56.800
A few weeks ago, a listener left a comment in the Spotify comment section for the podcast and asked, How do I actually play with my writing?
00:03:57.039 --> 00:04:00.400
And it's such a fair question because we hear that advice all the time.
00:04:00.560 --> 00:04:02.560
As a book coach, I give it all the time.
00:04:02.639 --> 00:04:05.039
I say, have fun, be playful, don't overthink it.
00:04:05.599 --> 00:04:11.120
But no one, including me, really explains what that looks like in real life.
00:04:11.919 --> 00:04:14.159
So I thought today I would give it my best shot.
00:04:14.719 --> 00:04:22.480
When I think about play, just in general, it involves a sense of ease and most of the time in my house a great big mess.
00:04:22.879 --> 00:04:31.040
But there's experimentation, a willingness to be a little silly, and an enjoyment of the process, regardless of how things turn out.
00:04:31.519 --> 00:04:37.120
It feels low stakes, like you're allowed to just try things without judging them.
00:04:37.680 --> 00:04:43.439
But when we sit down to write, how much of that kind of energy do we actually bring to the table?
00:04:44.160 --> 00:04:54.399
When I sat back and evaluated my own writing process, I realized that if I'm being honest, there are plenty of days that I come to the page and it doesn't feel like play at all.
00:04:54.639 --> 00:05:06.240
It feels rote, like routine, like work, like showing up because I said I would, not because I'm particularly inspired about what I'm writing or excited about the work.
00:05:06.639 --> 00:05:14.000
This is especially true for me right now when I'm deep in revision with a book that I'm frankly tired of and one that feels like it's trying to break my brain.
00:05:14.319 --> 00:05:21.040
But what I realized is that even on the days that are a grind, something important happens.
00:05:21.360 --> 00:05:27.199
When I finish a writing session, no matter the outcome, I still walk away with a sense of accomplishment.
00:05:27.279 --> 00:05:30.959
And I trust myself a little bit more because I followed through.
00:05:31.120 --> 00:05:33.199
I kept a commitment to myself.
00:05:33.439 --> 00:05:37.519
And that builds my integrity, even if it's not fun to do in the moment.
00:05:37.839 --> 00:06:02.000
But then there's other times when the writing does feel more like play, and I've noticed those moments tend to show up earlier in my writing process, when things feel more open, more fresh, when I'm staring at the clouds, just daydreaming up a story and everything feels possible, or when I'm jotting ideas down in a notebook, or maybe I'm out for a long walk with my dogs and I'm just listening to music and a scene will take shape in my imagination.
00:06:02.240 --> 00:06:05.439
There's this sense of lightness and curiosity.
00:06:05.680 --> 00:06:09.680
And I don't have the worry of am I getting this right?
00:06:10.160 --> 00:06:13.920
Drafting can feel like that for me too, sometimes at the best of times.
00:06:14.240 --> 00:06:20.639
I still feel some pressure, but I definitely feel like there's more room to experiment with an idea and just to see where it goes.
00:06:21.439 --> 00:06:30.560
And underneath all of that, over time I've quietly cultivated this belief that I can fix whatever's not working later.
00:06:31.519 --> 00:06:40.240
So I don't know if play is something you can force into your process or even intentionally incorporate.
00:06:40.560 --> 00:06:41.680
Maybe you can.
00:06:42.399 --> 00:06:48.480
But it definitely seems to be something that shows up naturally when the pressure comes down.
00:06:49.040 --> 00:06:57.040
And I do believe that we can remind ourselves, as often as needed, to simply lower our expectations in the moment.
00:06:57.839 --> 00:07:03.839
For most of us, the real barrier to writing our stories isn't a lack of creativity or talent.
00:07:04.079 --> 00:07:06.399
It's the weight of our expectations.
00:07:07.199 --> 00:07:12.639
We have the pressure to get it right, to be efficient, to prove something with every word we put on the page.
00:07:12.800 --> 00:07:16.560
And that kind of pressure turns writing into a graded performance.
00:07:16.800 --> 00:07:22.720
And it's really hard to feel playful, joyful, or relaxed when you're performing, at least for me.
00:07:22.959 --> 00:07:27.600
So maybe the question isn't how do I bring more play into my writing process?
00:07:27.839 --> 00:07:29.759
Maybe that's the wrong angle.
00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:37.839
Maybe it's better to think of it like, how do I lower the stakes enough that I'm willing to show up, explore, and stick with it.
00:07:38.480 --> 00:07:43.920
So that might look like letting yourself write a messy scene that you know won't make it into the final draft.
00:07:44.079 --> 00:07:51.199
You're just using it to better inform yourself of your characters or of an event in the plot.
00:07:51.439 --> 00:07:59.680
Or maybe you follow a thread of curiosity without worrying where it leads or how it factors into the cause and effect of the entire story.
00:07:59.920 --> 00:08:09.759
It might mean focusing on the parts of the story that you love while setting aside the ones that feel too heavy or that seem to get you stuck.
00:08:10.000 --> 00:08:14.000
Lowering expectations is not about letting ourselves off the hook.
00:08:14.160 --> 00:08:19.120
We're still showing up, but we're also giving ourselves more room to breathe and maneuver.
00:08:19.360 --> 00:08:21.920
So maybe that's what play looks like in writing.
00:08:22.160 --> 00:08:33.360
Maybe it's not supposed to feel like constant joy or ease, but enough freedom to explore without fear and enough trust to believe that you can figure the rest out later.
00:08:33.679 --> 00:08:36.240
So, how do you incorporate more play into your writing?
00:08:36.480 --> 00:08:37.440
Not really sure.
00:08:37.759 --> 00:08:41.759
But I think it's beneficial to stop and evaluate your process.
00:08:42.000 --> 00:08:43.840
When do you feel the most freedom?
00:08:44.000 --> 00:08:48.559
And when do you find yourself starting to feel contraction or pressure?
00:08:49.200 --> 00:08:52.639
And when that happens, can you take a deep breath?
00:08:52.799 --> 00:09:01.440
Remember what you like about the story, remind yourself to lower your expectations, and give yourself a little more breathing room.
00:09:01.759 --> 00:09:07.120
Reassure yourself that books are made in layers, and you can fix whatever needs fixing later.
00:09:07.360 --> 00:09:21.360
I hope this episode gives you some food for thought about your writing process and what you want it to feel like and how you can incorporate a little more flexibility, fluidity, permission, and hopefully more joy and ease as you learn to lower your expectations.
00:09:21.679 --> 00:09:24.159
I'll be back next week with a new guest.
00:09:24.480 --> 00:09:25.360
Thank you for joining me.
00:09:25.440 --> 00:09:34.000
And remember the courage files are open for submission, and you can find the link in the show notes or go to write itscared.co forward slash courage hyphen files.
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Thank you for listening to the Ride It Scared podcast.
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If you enjoyed today's show, please make sure to hit the follow button so you never miss an episode.
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And please leave a review.
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Reviews help other writers like you find the voices and messages they need to hear to continue to write their stories.
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Let's lift each other up.
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Remember, you can be scared and still be unstoppable.
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I'll see you next week.
