Between Two Belts with Jeremy Knauff!

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Hello and welcome to Between Two Belts.
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I'm your host, RJ Bates the Third, and today cut that out.
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Today I'm sitting down with Jeremy.
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Why can't we just get normal names?
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How do you say it?
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You didn't do the hooked on Vonics?
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No.
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No.
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Kanoff?
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Yeah, and and how's your Kaniee doing?
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Ha! Oh look, we got a funny guy.
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Except for the fact I know him.
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You see, Jeremy is the guy I called when I was wrongfully fired from television.
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Isn't that right, Jeremy?
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Yeah, but you didn't have to leak that sex tape.
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That was entirely on you.
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See, now people think that there's a sex tape.
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Okay.
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There is.
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Okay.
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Well, as a PR guy, that's what you consider yourself, right?
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Yes, I would say that's a fair representation.
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Why did you do nothing for me?
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Well, I mean, there's only so much you can do after a video like that comes out.
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This is ridiculous.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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This is like the Timu version of Duck Dynasty here.
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What's going on?
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Wow.
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Holy shit.
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What is happening?
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Hey, can we start this over?
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Can we start this over?
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What are you shaking your head for?
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What kind of listen.
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Did you lose your train of thought?
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I crack the jokes.
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Well, and you fucking take it.
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I think we're using the joke.
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It doesn't work the other way around.
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The only person that does that is John Jackson.
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We're using the word joke a little loosely here, don't you think?
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Who invited you on this show?
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Some hillbilly.
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It just grabbed me in the middle of the hallway.
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I invited you because I wanted to talk about the PR nightmare that I had when I got fired from TV.
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Yeah.
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And somehow you turned it into your cracking jokes on me.
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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So you done with the Dutch Dynasty jokes?
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Oh God, not even close.
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You're going to start with Z Z Top next?
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No, you are certainly not a sharp dressed man.
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This is insane.
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This is insane.
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You know, I regret a lot of this.
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I regret this moment right now.
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This is the look of regret.
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But we're going to fight through this moment right now.
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All right.
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Okay.
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Kind of like third game.
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Green back to you're a PR guy.
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How did you get into that?
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Uh well, this guy came to me with this sex tape that got leaked and said, you know, I need some help with this.
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Okay, sex tape.
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I had a sex tape, apparently.
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Yeah.
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You know what?
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Sex tape is better than white supremacists.
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Yes.
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I should go with this.
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Let's run with it.
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What kind of sex tape was it?
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Uh, it was white supremacy sex tape.
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Oh man.
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I can we just bleep that whole part out.
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I don't know if we can as a PR guy, can we have that on YouTube?
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Absolutely.
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Yeah.
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You might get a community violation of some sort, but that's true.
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When uh when I did come to you, Jeremy, um, you you mentioned that not much could come from me going after Disney.
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Why was that?
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Uh man, it's a multi-billion dollar corporation.
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And would they have murdered me?
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Man.
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Uh if you'd asked me a few years ago, I'd probably say no.
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But seeing what's going on in the world nowadays, I'm not sure.
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That's right.
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Mickey Mouse.
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The mouse is in the house.
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Yeah.
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Pretty crazy.
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Yeah.
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Over a house flipping show.
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So let's talk about how you actually help people.
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Do you do like the whole like fake uh news articles and stuff?
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No, we don't do fake news here.
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Oh, I can have a real.
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Can you can you get me hooked up?
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Always.
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With who?
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Name, throw some names out.
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Forbes.
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Forbes is okay, but they are kind of uh a little bit sleazy these days.
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See?
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Faith.
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Yeah.
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That's what you meant by that.
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Entrepreneur magazine, Fox Business, Newsmax, take your pick.
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Are you a conservative?
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I am.
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That's why you mentioned Fox Business multiple times.
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You just wanted to go that up?
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Sure.
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Yeah?
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Yeah.
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I like that.
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Do you like Elon?
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I do.
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Somewhat.
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There's some things I don't like about him.
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What do you not like?
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Uh I would say his insistence on uh scaling up the H1B visa program for one example.
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I have no idea what he's talking about.
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I'm just a little bit.
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It is where they are bringing in foreign workers to take the jobs that Americans should actually be taking.
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This makes sense.
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I actually did know I was just trying to give you credit.
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Oh, okay.
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Trying to make you look like the smart one.
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This is the path that I'm taking during this interview because you came out guns of fucking blazing.
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By the way, we I never actually got your last name since you know it's not Kenny.
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Yeah, it's not Kenny.
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So you're just knoff?
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Yes.
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Come on, a white supremacist like you should know how to pronounce a German name.
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What?
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Man, that is harsh in this episode.
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Is this what I do to other people?
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Probably.
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I've never been on this side before.
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It's very interesting.
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Catch my train of thought.
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What am I supposed to ask you now?
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Whatever you want, man.
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You want to interview me?
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Um, it's your show, man.
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You gotta interview me.
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I I don't even know what's happening.
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It's the end of the day, it's been a long day.
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Um, you came out guns ablazing.
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You're from Germany, and I didn't even know that.
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Normally I catch that early on, make some Nazi joke.
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Yeah.
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And we went down the Dutch Dynasty route.
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Mickey Mouse is gonna murder me.
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So it gives me talking about it it reminds me of a story.
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Oh, here we go.
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If we if you want to go down this path.
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Let's do it.
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So I had this uh, I had this guy in my unit in the Marine Corps, and he was probably I'm a tall guy, about 6'2.
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He was probably about 6'5, if I had to guess.
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Really, really skinny and just pale, pale, pale.
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And we had just come back from a PFT.
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You know what PFT is?
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No.
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I believe that.
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PFT is a physical fitness test.
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So we have to do this every so often in the Marine Corps, every year.
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And after the PFT, this kid, Sorensen, had come back into the company office and he had taken off his shirt.
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And my lieutenant says, God damn, Sorensen.
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He's like, What, sir?
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You look like you just got out of Auschwitz.
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And he's like, That's fucked up, sir.
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And he's like, No, it's not.
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You know, I'm just fucking with you.
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And I was like, no, sir, that is fucked up.
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He said, What are you talking about, Knopf?
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You make fun of him all the time.
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I said, Sir, my grandfather died in Auschwitz.
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He says, Oh my god, Corporal Knopf, I'm so sorry.
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I had no idea.
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I feel like such a piece of shit right now.
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I said, It's all right, sir, don't worry about it.
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He just fell out of the guard tower.
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I feel like this entire episode, I've just been catching haymakers.
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This is this is uh yeah.
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Yeah.
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This goes down as my least favorite episode of Between Two Belts, and that's saying a lot because I've had Steve Train on here.
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Oh man, I'm sorry.
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Yeah.
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Um, well, I always end the episodes by asking him what's your greatest achievement in life, but I have to say it's probably this episode of Between Two Belts.
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Well, it will be in a minute once I get up and walk out.
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Next level.
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Um wow, that's Jeremy, and I used to be the host of Between Two Belts.