Tangled in Openness, Tenderness & Humor with Heart (with Evan Mulrooney)

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Welcome to the Tango with Kyle Ridley.
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Great to have you as we kick off September.
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Thank you to all of my August guests and all of my new listeners.
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I really appreciate the support.
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Love having you here.
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We have a great roundup of guests on the way for the month ahead.
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We are heading into fall, my favorite season, my birthday season.
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But mainly it's all about the weather and the darker days and just cozy times, getting ready for the holidays.
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I'm already ready for it all.
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I think summer was uh a bit long, tough summer.
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And uh closed it off with a pretty sad week the past week.
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I, you know, was recording when I learned that Dolly Parton passed away last week, and it's been sitting with me ever since.
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She was such a inspiration to so many, such a bright light to so many.
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And I think many just thought that she would be here forever, an angel on this earth.
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And she's comforted me many times over the decades, and I've just been delving into all of her music and watching her interviews and live performances through the last, what, 60 years?
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Incredible, just an icon all around, and only stood for good, only wanted good.
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And we're gonna miss her if there could be more dollies in this world, but no one comes close.
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So I that's actually really been uh on my mind a lot this past week.
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And I think it's just been like a month of loss, you know, starting with my dog, and we've lost so many celebrities, and it's just kind of been a sad close to the summer, but I'm ready to lighten up in the fall, and I appreciate everyone letting me share on here and listening and the messages that I've received.
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We make it through, right?
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The older we get, we are resilient people and we get through hard times, and uh that's what we're doing right now, and that's why oftentimes I talk about maintaining hope on this podcast and how are you keeping hope in difficult times?
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I always try to cling to it, and I'm clinging to it right now.
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And last night I went to a bar with a couple of my friends.
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We went to uh JR's in DC.
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They have a showtoons night every week, and last night was all dedicated to Dolly, and all the donations are being sent to her Imagination Library, and it was a great time.
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I think she's such a unifier.
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She's the great unifier, and uh loved dancing and singing and just reminiscing with people, and she brings kindness and joy, and I hope we can keep that going in some form in her memory and in tribute to her.
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And speaking of joy, today's guest is very joyful.
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I loved speaking with Mr.
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Evan Mulrooney.
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Like so many.
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I discovered him online through his fun, viral clips and his uh self-deprecating humor, and oftentimes tackling toxic masculinity in his humor, which I really appreciate.
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And I love how he wears his heart on his sleeve.
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He isn't afraid to go deep.
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And of course, he's funny and remains humorous throughout, but he uh shows a very tender side to him that I don't think we get to see in a lot of his online clips.
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And I really appreciate him opening up with me.
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I want you to follow him on Instagram if you're not already.
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Check out all of his clips, go to his IMDB.
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He also has plenty of guest appearances on TV shows and movies that you can check out.
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I just saw him in a recent episode of Tires on Netflix, and hey, you get to see his ass, so all is looking bright.
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But no, I really enjoy this conversation.
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I know you will as well.
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So enjoy this conversation with the wonderful, hilarious, handsome, kind-hearted, warm-hearted, open-hearted Evan Mulroney.
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Thanks for joining me.
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Ditto, you kidding me?
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Anyone who's interviewing Rosie, I'm there, baby.
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That's so exciting.
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It's a North Star for me.
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You're telling me I have a um a Rosie's Chub Club shirt that is probably my my um nearest and dearest possession, my earthly possession, because the 90s and Rosie are synonymous to me and my whole upbringing.
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So And also, Elliot Glazer, are you going?
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Are you in LA?
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Where are you?
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I'm not.
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I'm in DC.
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Get out of here.
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Salute.
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Thank you for your service.
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The Hollywood of the East, so I hear.
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Um we'll talk about that.
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Yeah.
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I've listened to some of your interviews, done done my research, watched your clips.
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I figured we'll do we go deep and shallow.
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So I know you're you're up for it all, right?
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Yes, yes, yes.
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Uh I will go as deep as I can.
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My what that my IQ will allow me.
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Uh but my EQ will jump in at some point.
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It'll override.
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Perfect.
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Well, let's start with your upbringing in Wilmington, Delaware.
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I just got back yesterday from Rehoboth because I go there many times a year.
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Are you a Rehoboth boy or where did you beach while growing up?
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Doy.
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Um if you're from North Wilmington and you didn't go to uh Rehoboth growing up, then you went from North Wilmington, baby.
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And I am gonna gatekeep on that.
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Um big time Rehoboth boy.
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And I loved it there.
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Uh so good for you.
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Did you get uh I've been obsessed with going back to Coors Brother, so you've been back the the greatest custard in the land.
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I didn't go there this time, but I go like four or five times a year.
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I like to go off season because it's just like a three-hour drive.
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Um it's always cozy.
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Yeah, it's um it's an oasis.
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But yes, grew up in Delaware.
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Uh I'm glad.
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I I'm I'm giddy at the the the thought of Delaware.
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I love it.
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I love being from there.
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It was very informative of who I am.
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It's it's an interesting place because it's a small place and you're told it's a small place, and yet it's a big city, you know, a a big city in the sense of like that has a decent amount of people.
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Yeah, pretty middle class, played football growing up, and uh that was my chance at uh performance, and I took it and ran with it, and it was uh uh an easy way to beat the hyperactivity out of me and give me something to focus on.
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And uh yeah, I love Delaware.
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I'm such a dork for Delaware, and I'm happy to answer any questions about it and wax poetic about it as well.
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Uh I uh I'm not a huge fan of big business, but I will support the DuPonts uh simply due to the fact that they made Del uh Wilmington beautiful.
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They did poison hundreds of thousands of people, and that's not good.
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But the architecture, but you can't beat the architecture.
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Come on.
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If it if it's between poisoning livestock and having beautiful buildings to look at, I'm gonna take the beautiful buildings.
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Um And Delaware is a pretty liberal state.
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Did you grow up in a pretty liberal home?
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I was blessed to be um raised in a very open-minded household uh for the most part.
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And I was exposed to a lot of art and a lot of different opinions, different points of views.
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And I I was really uh as much as my parents dragged me to art museums, and there's uh not a lack of that in the tri-state Brandywine River Valley area, as much as I was like, you know, kind of like, ugh, I'm so grateful that I got to do it and experience it and see things and uh take things in.
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And my father was um big music person and and showed me so much.
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And uh the I I come from Reform Tippies.
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My my grandmother lived on a commune with Tim Leary uh for a while and was at kind of the forefront of the psychedelic movement.
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And um I was really I hate to use the word blessed twice within the first five minutes, but blessed to have such a um a hippy-dippy grandma that was very not even open-minded, but just like star-struck at the universe itself and and kind of giddy at everything and laughed at everything.
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There's a lot of laughter in my household and a lot of um my father's side, a lot of Catholic trauma um that he laughed through and uh was kind enough to laugh at everything with us, and it was a lot of laughs and also a lot of um big emotions.
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I'm the youngest of three, and uh I think I formed a uh a sense of humor early because uh I was kind of responsible for the uh the vibe in the household, so to speak.
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I I I took it upon myself to make sure everyone felt fine, especially my mother.
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My mother um was uh diagnosed with bipolar, but pretty much right around the time I was born.
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And uh so it was a lot of ups and downs and uh a lot of like uh is everything cool?
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Is everything all right?
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Let's just let's just distract ourselves with a little look at the chubby little kid say funnies and and throw himself on the ground and do silly things and um so is that where you found your, I guess, comedic voice and being the levity of the house that was often maybe a bit heavy?
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I think so.
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That and also uh Wilmington, for as much as I will uh compliment it.
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It's also there's not that much going on.
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So you had to find ways to entertain yourself.
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And uh a lot of that was just kind of walking around my neighborhood, quite literally, like roaming the streets of of Belfont, my neighborhood, and with a friend and um trying to make ourselves laugh because uh otherwise I think it would have pushed us to the brink of insanity or brain rot with why watching TV, which I got plenty of, mind you.
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Uh thank you very much.
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But uh yeah, there was there was also a big sense of responsibility of and and I took it upon myself.
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I there was no one saying like, make us laugh, boy.
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Smoking me with a a rod of any sort.
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It was um I just felt like that was I I witnessed my father uh make people laugh and and make people feel good about themselves and make people feel seen, and that really resonated with me and really sunk in.
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And I was like, oh, that's the quickest way to not only um make people feel good, but make people like you and uh, you know, who is closer to you than your family.
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So if your family likes you, then it's it's easier to um take on the weight of the world, which for whatever reason I um felt I needed to do.
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And I think that was what was so nice about football is that it was like I could put more energy into that and not have to be so much of a clown.
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Although, of course, you know, I I ended up being that on any team I was on.
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So being the comedic relief in the household, did that also f lend itself to being sort of a caretaker, a caregiver of the household?
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Did that come naturally to you just with your mother?
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Yeah, I think so.
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I really befriended her.
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She was like my best friend growing up.
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And looking back on it now, she was uh obviously very motherly to me and very encouraging and you know, like, oh, I scored a goal at recess playing soccer and black, oh, that's incredible.
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And then also, you know, her feeling low down and me, you know, giving her a lot of attention and love and and um just affection.
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And uh that was something I I took on early.
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And I'm there's a pretty uh solid age gap between me and my siblings.
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And again, there's a there's a there's a lot of avenues for being a young person in Wilmington, Delaware, especially in the time I grew up in.
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It it's like you um either ingratiate yourself in some sort of sport or you party.
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And uh I'm not saying my my older brother and sister were like, let's go off the rails and party.
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But they weren't they weren't as they weren't home as much as I was because they're seven years and four years older than me.
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But they were out of the house a lot and I was kind of there.
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And I was also, I made sure to stay close to the house because that's where the food was.
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And you boys gotta eat.
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And baby boy was an eater, and he still is.
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And you mentioned being the class clown sort of in school and and on your football team.
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Were you also sort of the the one that would gather everyone and make everyone feel better?
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Uh, encouragement, a similar caregiver style in a group setting.
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Is that just you?
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Yeah, I'd say so.
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You know what I also learned early on was that um, and we can get into the, you know, the the big epiphany moment of all of it, but it was it was such a platform to be in front of a group of of people and give a speech and give some encouragement and say something that was uh worth one of the teammates looking at another person and being like, yeah, I like that.
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And you can add in a joke here and there, and your uh pregame speeches or your halftime pick-me-ups can can be uh layered with some sense of ridiculousness that makes people go, like, what the hell are you talking about?
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But also, you have a lot of energy and I like that, so let's get out there and boogie.
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Yeah, I really relished in in giving pregame speeches in in high school because it was like, I'm what can I say that's memorable, ridiculous, but also somehow encouraging, you know?
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And uh I think that also kind of speaks volumes too.
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And this is all epiphany's I'm happening happening in real time.
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I don't often sit and think of this, but thank you for asking these questions.
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They're very fun to answer.
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Um hearing something, being like drawn in, going like, huh?
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And I'm being like, all right.
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I like this for whatever reason.
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And I think that's kind of what happens with some of these videos that I make.
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Yeah, it's showing up in your videos today where it there's a funny ridiculousness to them, but they also make you think and there's also a message behind them.
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Yeah.
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You gotta really do your homework on that message, but there's something in there for everybody, I guess.
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Uh before we move on, you mentioned your your grandmother was in the the psychedelic movement.
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Did she teach you anything about that movement?
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She told me the first, I mean, one thing she taught that uh sticks out was she taught me how to roll joints uh at an early age.
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And her trick was uh cutting the weed with scissors to make it very specific to the shape of the joint.
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But she um you know, I wasn't really at an age where I I was like really like, what was it like, Grandma?
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What was Hayton Ashbury like?
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What was it like rolling around with the the Hells Angels in San Francisco and and you know, hanging with Jerry Garcia and those guys?
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Uh but now I have my uncle, luckily, that I could ask about that.
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And um sh I can remember bits and pieces of stories and like her just like everything was kind of said with this like murmuring giggle underneath that was just everything.
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Like if that uh is the vibration it felt like the vibration of the universe.
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Sorry, I mean I don't I'm also looking at pictures of her.
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Um I have four pictures of her.
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That was from an editorial piece in uh Life magazine from like 67 or 68, where she was photographed while uh tripping on LSD.
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And uh it was just like she just told me how to be groovy, you know.
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And uh I really I'm so glad I knew her and uh yeah, I she uh she meant a lot and she still means a lot.
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Man, way to go.
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Good journalism.
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You got me early, baby.
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I love that heart on your sleeve.
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Right.
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Now, a lot of people are always curious, but I I I can you have identified as queer, more specifically pansexual, as you say, hearts, not parts.
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Sure, yes.
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What were the first realizations that you were not limited as far as gender went?
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Uh very early on, I remember watching episodes of real sex and being like, wow, this is awesome.
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Uh there's so many options out there.
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Uh a another thing um my father was great about was having interest not interesting.
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I mean, they were in fact interesting, not because of their sexual orientation or anything, but he had a lot of gay friends.
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And I was exposed to that very early on, and and it was um there was no stigmatization, it was just merely like here's Wayne, here's Catherine, um, Catherine's a lesbian, Wayne's gay, and I was like, oh, that's cool.
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But there it was always this see, and and I'll also get into the downside of growing up in like kind of a working class town, which is not um totally unique to queer people, but it didn't feel accessible uh for a long time.
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Even though I knew these people, I knew that I was like, Well, I can't be because I'm like a football player, you know, and this doesn't like fit within the narrative and doesn't seem right.
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And there's so many times I feel like I asked my dad, of like, what would you do if I was gay?
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And he was like, that's what it's that's who you are, if that's who you are.
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And I was like, Cool, I'm not.
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But and that would be on the way to like football games in grade school.
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I remember asking him specifically on the way to play like St.
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John the Beloved, being like, What would you do?
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Like, nothing.
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But um, it was so it it was always there, it was always an undercurrent, and I was just so scared to uh break out of any shell that wasn't working class jock from Wilmington who is bound to be this football player.
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And um, yeah, I had I I I I could have come out much earlier, but I didn't because I was so scared, and then it was so ingratiated into me that I was this athlete, that I was this football player.
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You know, I played D1 at Maryland bragging.
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That was a good brag of mine.
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Um and then it's like even more, and of course there's homer eroticism rampant within these locker rooms because there's so many people that aren't honest with themselves, and it's so like trivialized within locker rooms, but it it's you know, it's also a form of fraternizing, and uh everyone is so close, so it's always there.
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And I remember again many times saying in college, like, man, if it wasn't for having sex with guys, I'd be so gay.
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And um and and then I allowed myself the the freedom after this is fet flash forwarding, like you know, after I realized in in college that I was like, oh, I want to do comedy.
00:18:33.200 --> 00:18:41.839
I I I just kind of wanted an audience all these years, and football was the only feasible outlet for that.
00:18:42.160 --> 00:18:44.160
Then I was like, oh no, it's been comedy.
00:18:44.240 --> 00:18:45.359
I want to I want to do that.
00:18:45.599 --> 00:18:53.359
Then I, you know, uh found myself in the improv scene in Chicago, and all my friends were gay, and I was in gay clubs all the time.
00:18:53.440 --> 00:18:56.240
And I said, well, wait a second, let me let me try.
00:18:56.400 --> 00:19:00.720
And I did, and said, This is exactly who I am.
00:19:00.960 --> 00:19:07.519
I uh and and there's a lot of feelings of like, damn, Evan, you coward.
00:19:07.680 --> 00:19:09.359
Like you really dropped the ball on that.
00:19:09.440 --> 00:19:11.440
And it's like, what would your life look like?
00:19:11.680 --> 00:19:14.240
How different would your life look had you been a lot more honest?
00:19:14.400 --> 00:19:15.440
But I'm so grateful.
00:19:15.599 --> 00:19:19.599
Like I I um I'm not bitter about when I came out.
00:19:19.680 --> 00:19:21.599
I came out when I was like 28.
00:19:21.680 --> 00:19:31.119
And I started with queer because, you know, I I've had girlfriends and I I have a fiance now who is a woman who's a queer woman.
00:19:31.279 --> 00:19:52.240
And yes, I've I've identified as pansexual, but you know, that was, and if I may get very candid here, there's a lot about my life, there's a lot about my insecurities, my anxieties, my upbringing that have led me to the narrative of not feeling like enough, which again I know is not unique to me.
00:19:52.400 --> 00:19:54.640
I know a lot of people feel that way.
00:19:54.960 --> 00:20:00.160
You know, I was like, I I I landed on bi when I first came out, and I was like, oh, this must be right.
00:20:00.480 --> 00:20:12.000
Um then the onslaught of internet attention came, and then being bi was stigmatized, and I thought, oh God, well that that's simply not enough.
00:20:12.160 --> 00:20:17.920
And like I I don't want people to think that I'm not queer enough.
00:20:18.400 --> 00:20:26.640
And uh, you know, bisexual leaves out non-binary people and trans people, in my opinion, uh at that time.
00:20:28.000 --> 00:20:30.640
And I was like, so it's pansexual.
00:20:30.720 --> 00:20:31.920
It's like it's not bi.
00:20:32.240 --> 00:20:34.880
I'm not trying to steal valor or anything.
00:20:34.960 --> 00:20:52.960
And and there was a bit of that within like the 2017 time frame where there were a lot of improvisers in Chicago that were like coming out as bi, and it was kind of in uh an attempt to not feel like the oppressors, these straight white guys were like, no, no, no, that's I'm not, I'm not a bad guy.
00:20:53.200 --> 00:20:54.559
Uh I'm queer too.
00:20:54.640 --> 00:20:55.200
I'm bi.
00:20:55.759 --> 00:20:59.039
And and that made me stigmatize that.
00:20:59.440 --> 00:21:06.240
And um quite honestly, Kyle, I'm I'm bisexual, I'm pansexual, I'm queer, I'm whatever you want to call me.
00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:09.440
If you were to call me straight, that would be not true.
00:21:09.599 --> 00:21:11.599
That's kind of the only thing that doesn't feel right.
00:21:11.680 --> 00:21:13.759
I'm I've also cisgender.
00:21:14.160 --> 00:21:24.319
Um uh, but I I I've I've ran from myself for so long, and that's also part of being a comedian.
00:21:24.559 --> 00:21:27.200
Uh damn, you're a good interviewer.
00:21:27.359 --> 00:21:30.880
You're just sitting there and I just keep going, and then it makes me emotional.
00:21:31.039 --> 00:21:32.240
You're really great at your job.
00:21:33.279 --> 00:21:34.799
No wonder you're Emmy nominated.
00:21:34.880 --> 00:21:36.079
I'm such a fan.
00:21:38.000 --> 00:21:41.920
I'd say this to anyone who lets me talk for more than three minutes.
00:21:42.160 --> 00:21:44.240
I'd say you should get emanated for an Amy.
00:21:44.400 --> 00:21:47.359
Uh emminated Oh, Jesus Christ, no, I lost it.
00:21:47.599 --> 00:21:48.640
Nominated for an Emmy.
00:21:48.880 --> 00:21:49.519
But um, yes.
00:21:49.839 --> 00:21:52.480
So you mentioned 28 coming out.
00:21:53.119 --> 00:21:56.960
Is that coming out to family, friends, classmates, coworkers?
00:21:57.200 --> 00:21:59.599
And does that mean 28 is when you first started?
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:02.240
Experiencing with men.
00:22:04.240 --> 00:22:04.720
28.
00:22:05.039 --> 00:22:10.960
It was probably 27 when I was like with my queer friends in Chicago that I was like, I don't feel straight.
00:22:11.039 --> 00:22:15.039
And they were like, Yeah, meanie, I don't I don't think you are either.
00:22:15.279 --> 00:22:20.559
Um, and they weren't like, come come out with something, give us an answer, boy.
00:22:20.799 --> 00:22:33.200
They were like, Yeah, you know, I I agree with that, and I implore you and give you the space and support as a friend to gesticulate on that and um not run from it.
00:22:33.359 --> 00:22:41.839
And then I I think that saying here, I I picked up a part-time job as a go-go dancer at the Lucky Horseshoe in Chicago.
00:22:42.640 --> 00:22:49.599
Great, um, historic uh uh uh organization uh establishment rather.
00:22:50.079 --> 00:22:59.839
And and I had I had a girlfriend at the time and I told her I was doing it, and um I was like, oh my, it was it was awesome.
00:22:59.920 --> 00:23:00.559
It was great.
00:23:00.640 --> 00:23:01.440
I felt so great.
00:23:01.519 --> 00:23:15.359
I got I didn't tell her this at the time, and if she hears it, then well, sorry, but I won't get too graphic with it, but I had an experience uh while while working and getting tipped that I was like, ah, that was fine.
00:23:15.519 --> 00:23:16.720
And it was like not fine.
00:23:16.799 --> 00:23:17.680
It was like that was really fun.
00:23:17.920 --> 00:23:28.079
I only say fine because it was like a guy who was paying me that I wasn't necessarily attracted to, but you know, I was in objectively a sex worker for a night, and I was like, this is great.
00:23:28.240 --> 00:24:00.640
I love this, and I feel this I didn't feel like I abandoned myself, and more so I was proud and grateful that I was like, I I got to break through that football player facade, and I got to really start breaking down that part of my not necessarily my foundation, but again, the facade, the the the narrative that I so long had been playing into, and even, you know, in improv circles, being like, oh yeah, I was a former football player, even though I was trying to be like, I'm not, I'm not the football player that bullied you all in in high school.
00:24:01.519 --> 00:24:07.200
Weird improv nerd former theater kids um who are all now my dear friends.
00:24:07.440 --> 00:24:17.119
Um and then I went out on a date, and yeah, probably my my my first date with a guy was in whenever, whenever I was 28.
00:24:17.279 --> 00:24:38.079
And um it went really well and we hooked up and and and I remember telling my friends, and they were all like so happy for me, and I was happy for myself, and I just felt like this weight had been lifted off of me, and and I felt um very connected to to myself, and um, and yeah, I'm and I'm a bye guy.
00:24:38.880 --> 00:24:43.279
So at that point, 28, that's it's pretty late to start exploring.
00:24:43.440 --> 00:24:45.039
Did you jump on the apps right away?
00:24:45.279 --> 00:24:50.319
Is that how you sort of, you know, when I came out, it was the dawn of the internet, so I was in those AOL chat rooms.
00:24:50.400 --> 00:24:55.359
But you have everything at your fingertips, apps, everything, uh Tinder grinder, scruff, all the straight apps.
00:24:55.599 --> 00:24:58.400
Were you just all over them and finding what your tribes are?
00:24:58.559 --> 00:24:59.839
What who did you identify with?
00:25:00.079 --> 00:25:06.160
At first, I I was, you know, luckily I'm a tall fella and I'm easy to pick out of a crowd.
00:25:06.400 --> 00:25:12.960
And the bar scene was um worked for me and just going out in bars and I cast a wide net.
00:25:13.200 --> 00:25:21.279
And um I didn't really, I honestly didn't really get on the apps, like grinder and scruff, until I got out to LA.
00:25:21.920 --> 00:25:28.880
And it's because I was like, I felt like you said, like it's there's an overwhelming amount of resources to hook up.
00:25:29.200 --> 00:25:33.680
And I was intimidated by it and did feel like, where do I even start?
00:25:33.839 --> 00:25:44.000
Um but luckily I was partying a lot and going out and um finding enough eligible suitors to explore and and make up for lost time, if you will.
00:25:44.559 --> 00:26:00.079
And um it was just steady as she goes from there and and still was uh on and off with women and uh had girlfriends and since coming out, they've uh the only women I've dated have been queer women or trans women, and then I I love men.
00:26:00.400 --> 00:26:02.000
You're 33 now, 34?
00:26:02.480 --> 00:26:03.440
I'm 33.
00:26:03.759 --> 00:26:05.920
Man, you really lose track of those years.
00:26:06.559 --> 00:26:11.359
Have you had many um long-term relationships, or is your uh fiance the first?
00:26:11.519 --> 00:26:17.440
Were you a relationship guy always before wanting to settle down, or did you sort of develop that in your 30s?
00:26:17.759 --> 00:26:26.960
I was, yeah, I would say I've always been pretty monogamous for the most part.
00:26:27.519 --> 00:26:37.519
And um it wasn't until I moved to LA where I um started practicing uh, you know, open relationships.
00:26:37.839 --> 00:26:59.599
And uh that has been challenging and uh also very liberating and fun and and uh has allowed me to address my own insecurities and um belief systems about myself that uh it it's been so helpful in that.
00:27:00.240 --> 00:27:08.480
But uh yeah, I've been with my fiance for two years, two and a half years, and um that's great.
00:27:08.559 --> 00:27:14.000
And she was a staunch lesbian for a decade before meeting me.
00:27:14.240 --> 00:27:22.559
And uh I I hate to steal one away from the lesbian community because I deeply wish I was a lesbian myself.
00:27:22.799 --> 00:27:32.160
Uh and I just love her and she saw who I was from from the jump, and I ever so it's like, you're gay, you don't want any part of me.
00:27:32.720 --> 00:28:01.119
Uh and uh I love her so much, and she's uh let me be nothing but myself and and encouraged me uh and challenged me and to to dive deeper into my wounds and my scar tissue and and um really begin to heal and and address things uh with the help of my therapist uh also, who I feel as akin to as my grandmother.
00:28:01.839 --> 00:28:02.960
He's the best.
00:28:03.200 --> 00:28:08.400
But um Yeah, so sorry, that was a long-winded answer on yeah, I've had um long relationships.
00:28:08.559 --> 00:28:13.119
I haven't had very many long relationships with men, but I've I've certainly dated.
00:28:14.240 --> 00:28:15.279
Yeah, that was my question.
00:28:15.440 --> 00:28:19.039
You mentioned dating queer women and trans women, but had you've had boyfriends.
00:28:19.359 --> 00:28:22.240
Not technically boyfriends, but more so situationships with men.
00:28:22.480 --> 00:28:22.720
Okay.
00:28:22.960 --> 00:28:24.240
Now you are engaged to a woman.
00:28:24.400 --> 00:28:28.000
People often equate pansexuality with polyamory.
00:28:28.240 --> 00:28:29.440
That's not a fair equation.
00:28:29.680 --> 00:28:33.039
Can you speak to that pansexuality and commitment from your experience?
00:28:33.279 --> 00:28:33.839
Hmm.
00:28:34.400 --> 00:28:46.319
I wouldn't necessarily consider myself an expert on this and don't know how much jurisdiction I have to voice any real um insight, as I also don't.
00:28:46.559 --> 00:28:52.079
I really envy people that have podcasts, Kyle, because um you care about your opinions.
00:28:52.319 --> 00:28:56.960
And I I don't care enough about enough like uh I'm not a nihilist.
00:28:57.039 --> 00:28:59.119
Anyway, I'm not gonna avoid this question.
00:29:00.240 --> 00:29:06.799
Uh I I I just want to do nothing but commend you and applaud you because I I really love your jib.
00:29:07.279 --> 00:29:08.400
No, no, no, I will.
00:29:08.480 --> 00:29:09.599
This is 20 minutes later.
00:29:09.839 --> 00:29:13.200
And this uh that was the first problem I had with Clinton's administration.
00:29:13.279 --> 00:29:14.000
No, I'm kidding.
00:29:14.160 --> 00:29:16.319
Um deep and shallow.
00:29:16.400 --> 00:29:17.519
We're gonna shallow it up soon.
00:29:19.359 --> 00:29:20.319
Yeah, I'm waiting.
00:29:20.400 --> 00:29:21.920
The clock's ticking there, pal.
00:29:22.319 --> 00:29:33.119
Uh but I um what is uh I I feel I I feel very fluid in my sexual expression and orientation as the bisexual.
00:29:33.200 --> 00:29:40.559
I feel firmly and confidently bisexual, but as also a uh reformed pansexual.
00:29:41.279 --> 00:29:57.119
Um the the open side of things, uh being pansexual, pansexual, pansexual, I know what it is, um, really like took any weight off of like liking this type of person means this thing.
00:29:57.279 --> 00:29:59.039
Liking that type of person likes this thing.
00:29:59.119 --> 00:30:03.680
Like I don't this is why I'm not good at math, because math is so black and white.
00:30:03.759 --> 00:30:06.000
And I live in a nuanced space.
00:30:06.319 --> 00:30:12.559
And that is also very challenging because not a lot of people feel comfortable in a nuanced space.
00:30:12.720 --> 00:30:23.359
Not a lot of people feel comfortable in a gray space, and I don't often feel comfortable in this gray space, um, considering uh I have to explain myself a lot.
00:30:24.079 --> 00:30:32.799
But openness and pansexuality, it feels uh i more what's the word?
00:30:32.880 --> 00:30:38.160
I don't want to say forgiving, but it feels more in the very truest sense of the word, open.
00:30:38.319 --> 00:30:44.160
And like it can be anyone or anything, and and I really, I really do love people.
00:30:44.319 --> 00:30:46.559
I really am a fervent lover of people.
00:30:46.720 --> 00:30:56.480
I really find people to be the most interesting thing in the world, um outside of uh perhaps uh I don't know.
00:30:56.559 --> 00:31:01.200
I'm trying to think of something else I like, but really people are top top of the pops for me.
00:31:02.319 --> 00:31:03.200
It comes across.
00:31:03.359 --> 00:31:04.079
It comes across.
00:31:04.240 --> 00:31:05.039
I get what you're saying.
00:31:05.920 --> 00:31:06.480
I get it.
00:31:06.720 --> 00:31:08.720
One more really tough question before we lighten up.
00:31:09.039 --> 00:31:11.759
Now, um, Evan, how many times have you been in love?
00:31:12.319 --> 00:31:14.240
Oh my god, constantly.
00:31:14.480 --> 00:31:20.880
Uh uh somewhere in the ballpark of two million times I've been in love.
00:31:21.200 --> 00:31:26.240
I love my friends, I love my fiance, I love my my family, my cousins.
00:31:26.400 --> 00:31:40.319
I I really, you know, there is the the the Philadelphia of it all, the brotherly love, the love for your fellow man and fellow compatriots and um people, but I uh I just I love love.
00:31:40.720 --> 00:31:42.799
I I hate that I love it so much.
00:31:43.039 --> 00:31:48.559
Because it makes me so sensitive and makes me um pretty I'm a pretty delicate guy.
00:31:48.720 --> 00:31:50.319
I I think that's special.
00:31:50.720 --> 00:31:51.680
Uh thank you.
00:31:51.920 --> 00:32:07.440
Um which is what makes it easier to kind of play an opposite of with anything that I'm usually cast to play or um write for myself, uh someone who doesn't give a shit and really only loves himself.
00:32:07.599 --> 00:32:19.039
That's kind of and honestly, that's kind of the missing equation with all of this is that boy, uh I really lose sight of myself a lot of the times, and I really I I rely on people to feel love.
00:32:19.519 --> 00:32:26.960
But in terms of like, oh man, a baker's dozen times I've been in like deep, like, I love you.
00:32:27.119 --> 00:32:34.240
And that has included people of all shapes, sizes, genders, and uh, but not political parties.
00:32:35.680 --> 00:32:36.480
Thank you for that.
00:32:36.640 --> 00:32:37.519
All right, I have a lot of questions.
00:32:37.599 --> 00:32:39.839
We're gonna break through these in the next 20 minutes.
00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:40.880
We will get through them all.
00:32:41.119 --> 00:32:41.359
Okay.
00:32:41.920 --> 00:32:45.920
Back to your childhood, you hit a growth spurt in sixth grade and you are 6'5.
00:32:46.400 --> 00:32:48.720
Uh, I want to talk about the relationship to your body.
00:32:48.799 --> 00:32:53.279
Uh, you're extremely confident, seemingly at this point in your life, all your videos that they watch.
00:32:53.440 --> 00:32:54.799
You were much bigger in school.
00:32:54.880 --> 00:32:58.799
I think you know that football photo came out from when you were in college at UMD.
00:32:58.960 --> 00:33:01.200
You're on a scholarship, you're on the huskier side.
00:33:01.359 --> 00:33:03.440
Have you always felt comfortable in your skin?
00:33:04.079 --> 00:33:08.000
Have you always felt comfortable in your skin at whatever size, or has that come later in life?
00:33:08.240 --> 00:33:10.559
My favorite way to describe someone is husky.
00:33:10.640 --> 00:33:12.880
I think it's so fucking funny.
00:33:13.200 --> 00:33:15.680
I mean, it's also chubby is also off.
00:33:15.920 --> 00:33:16.880
And I was a fat kid.
00:33:17.200 --> 00:33:19.440
I didn't say I was a fat kid, but they all sound bad.
00:33:19.680 --> 00:33:23.200
If you grew up as a fat kid, just say fat, say chubby, say husky.
00:33:23.279 --> 00:33:25.599
I love Husky because it's like, no, no, no, no, no.
00:33:25.680 --> 00:33:26.640
You're not fat, you're husky.
00:33:26.720 --> 00:33:28.160
It's the same thing as like big boned, you know?
00:33:28.960 --> 00:33:30.559
Husky is so funny.
00:33:30.799 --> 00:33:34.799
I I I often try to order my shirts an adult husky.
00:33:35.279 --> 00:33:44.000
Um I grew up a chubby kid, fat kid, and I was scared of being called fat.
00:33:44.160 --> 00:33:45.200
I you know what's so funny?
00:33:45.359 --> 00:33:56.400
Just like maybe like two or three days ago, I was saying to someone, it's like, I wish I just called myself fat growing up, because that would have made me so much funnier.
00:33:56.480 --> 00:34:01.279
Even though I knew like I looked funny because I was a little ball around.
00:34:01.519 --> 00:34:04.079
And and I loved giving the finger as as a little kid.
00:34:04.240 --> 00:34:09.840
I have uh 600 pictures of me as a little fat kid giving the finger, which is so funny.
00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:11.920
Um to me, to me.
00:34:12.320 --> 00:34:16.880
But uh yeah, I I thinned out when I hit that gross spurt.
00:34:17.039 --> 00:34:29.519
And then a couple years later, I had uh one of you know, an infinitesimal amount of epiphanies where I thought, oh, I need to, I need to get fat again to play college ball.
00:34:29.760 --> 00:34:38.480
So I put on 60 pounds in between my sophomore and junior year, and that weight became so trivial because it was like, oh, I made myself fat.
00:34:38.559 --> 00:34:40.239
This is like, this is a costume.
00:34:40.400 --> 00:34:43.360
This is literally a meat suit costume.
00:34:43.679 --> 00:34:47.199
And with that, I am going to lean in so hard.
00:34:47.360 --> 00:34:59.760
I am going to gyrate, I'm going to shake, and I am going to um be a uh machismo hunk at 305 pounds.
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.760
And uh I loved that.
00:35:01.840 --> 00:35:05.119
And then I thinned out again after playing ball.
00:35:05.679 --> 00:35:18.880
And uh I also developed a wicked uh I think they're calling it big amorphia now, where it's like That was my next question, Evan.
00:35:19.199 --> 00:35:22.800
Yeah, well hey you've talked about body dysmorphia, big morphia.
00:35:22.960 --> 00:35:27.679
I had uh pretty uh serious eating disorder throughout my 20s.
00:35:27.760 --> 00:35:31.039
I think a lot of LGBTQIA men and women do.
00:35:31.280 --> 00:35:34.960
Talk about your experience with that uh big morphia for people who aren't aware.
00:35:35.280 --> 00:35:36.079
Yeah, for sure.
00:35:36.239 --> 00:35:36.960
What was yours?
00:35:37.360 --> 00:35:38.559
Mine was bulimia.
00:35:38.880 --> 00:35:40.079
Bulimia, right on.
00:35:40.239 --> 00:35:43.199
Not right on as in good, but right on as in I hear you.
00:35:43.519 --> 00:35:46.159
Um boy, yeah.
00:35:46.320 --> 00:36:00.079
I it really it like fluctuated because I there was a old bit I used to do when I was doing stand-up about how, and this is really the the the case still is you know, when I look into the mirror, I don't see this guy that everyone else sees.
00:36:00.159 --> 00:36:02.719
I still see that 310-pound bruiser.
00:36:03.360 --> 00:36:23.360
And that is kind of how I feel my aura is, and I hope that is what uh I give off of a sense of safety, a sense of like, oh, there's this big jolly giant, as opposed to this quote unquote for all the listeners, hunk that people may see or perceive to see.
00:36:23.599 --> 00:36:35.760
But um it's you know, as I uh developed who I was, as I grew up within the college football um warrior culture, if you will, it was like you are this person.
00:36:36.079 --> 00:36:44.320
You are uh a vessel for destruction, you are a vessel for uh blocking and attacking and throwing your body and all this.
00:36:44.480 --> 00:36:47.280
And then when you get out of it, it's like, well, what what am I?
00:36:47.360 --> 00:36:48.639
What is my body for?
00:36:48.800 --> 00:36:50.079
Am I should I be bigger?
00:36:50.159 --> 00:36:50.960
Should I be smaller?
00:36:51.119 --> 00:36:52.400
Should I be skinnier?
00:36:52.559 --> 00:36:54.079
Should I be more muscular?
00:36:54.320 --> 00:37:00.400
And then sprinkle in auditioning for roles that are like, we need a big guy.
00:37:01.119 --> 00:37:14.800
It was easier in Chicago because uh Chicago, I feel like, has such wonderful body diversity, and it's not everything to be what your physical persona is expected of you.
00:37:14.960 --> 00:37:17.280
It is just like, hey, bring yourself to the table.
00:37:17.440 --> 00:37:21.199
Uh, if you like to drink beer even better, welcome to Chicago.
00:37:21.760 --> 00:37:32.559
But out here it's very like, let me get my 10 hours of sleep, let me make sure I get my two and a half hours of cardio in, uh, let me get uh a good wicked pump for an hour.
00:37:32.800 --> 00:37:36.000
Um and it's been tough.
00:37:36.320 --> 00:37:40.159
Is working out one of your vices now, or what vices do you have?
00:37:41.039 --> 00:37:44.400
It it is both a vice and my godsend.
00:37:44.480 --> 00:37:46.000
It is my salvation.
00:37:46.239 --> 00:37:50.480
Uh I need it to, I still have a lot of energy, believe it or not.
00:37:50.639 --> 00:37:57.599
Um, and I need to exhaust myself to feel present a lot of the times.
00:37:57.840 --> 00:38:04.239
And I also I'm like an old Dutch workhorse that would like plow the fields.
00:38:04.480 --> 00:38:09.840
And uh when my time is up and when I've plowed enough fields, just put me down.
00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:12.719
Put me in a giant ditch and just put me down, you know?
00:38:12.800 --> 00:38:15.440
And that's that's kind of the energy I'm working with here.
00:38:15.599 --> 00:38:24.159
And you know, again, this like internet attention is like, damn, like people only like me for this thing, if I look this way, you know what I mean?
00:38:24.239 --> 00:38:41.360
I I'm I'm um debating, shaving my mustache for a sketch later this week, and I'm like, how annoying that I have to be like, oh, but like, will that stop me from if I maybe get an audition, if I maybe get an offer, if I maybe get a meeting, if will they like me less?
00:38:41.440 --> 00:38:43.599
And it's like, how exhausting.
00:38:43.760 --> 00:38:46.880
What kind of bullshit narrative is this?
00:38:47.280 --> 00:38:49.440
And um, it's just never ending.
00:38:49.679 --> 00:38:58.159
But I I've really try to when when I downfall, when I spiral like that, it's like, Ev, you're healthy.
00:38:58.480 --> 00:39:00.480
You are injury free.
00:39:00.639 --> 00:39:02.239
Not not totally right now.
00:39:02.400 --> 00:39:04.639
My knees a little tweaked, but that's on me.
00:39:04.800 --> 00:39:06.480
That's my cross to bear.
00:39:06.719 --> 00:39:15.360
Um and I can walk, I can feel things, I can taste things, I can smell things.
00:39:15.519 --> 00:39:16.559
It's like that's enough.
00:39:16.639 --> 00:39:33.760
And God, it is just never-ending, not enough enough, not enough enough, and and landing hopefully in closer to the enough, but even if it's the the middle part of there, that nuance, if you will, let's take it full circle, that is good enough.
00:39:35.039 --> 00:39:36.559
And you mentioned your your content.
00:39:36.719 --> 00:39:41.679
A lot of it deals with toxic masculinity, which you say football introduced you to.
00:39:41.920 --> 00:39:46.800
So how long did you internalize that or did you speak out when you were around it?
00:39:46.960 --> 00:39:52.239
And when did you decide that you were gonna try to take the wind out of its sails by sort of making content about it?
00:39:52.320 --> 00:40:07.760
Aaron Powell It was rampant in the locker room in college because everyone's trying to peacock and be the most dominant, most fearsome, most prolific football player, most successful football player, make it to the NFL.
00:40:08.159 --> 00:40:13.199
And I think I was always the first one there to make fun of those people.
00:40:13.519 --> 00:40:28.480
And that was my like um advocacy of people that they were maybe peacocking to or trying to dominate in some sense of of like sticking up for people by making fun of someone.
00:40:28.639 --> 00:40:34.559
Because if you embarrass someone, that's as good as you know pinning them uh to a you know a three count.
00:40:34.880 --> 00:40:36.400
So you recognized it right away.
00:40:36.480 --> 00:40:39.039
You wouldn't need to be reprogrammed, deprogrammed.
00:40:39.280 --> 00:40:40.320
Yeah, for sure.
00:40:40.400 --> 00:40:41.840
I I no, I don't I don't think so.
00:40:41.920 --> 00:40:45.519
I know I don't think I ever I I hope I I don't I didn't struggle with that.
00:40:45.679 --> 00:41:03.039
Um and I I I'm I've always been very conscious of how I look, especially when I got into the improv scenes of like I know I I mentioned this before, like I know I I probably physically represent the former bullies of a lot of these people doing improv in this space.
00:41:03.360 --> 00:41:08.960
So I'm going to be especially kind and not aggressive as possible.
00:41:09.199 --> 00:41:33.039
And I think also going back to my my childhood, there was something that was in uh instilled into me being from this very like working class town where everyone, you know, was employed by DuPont and punched in and punched out and did painkillers when there was a when their back was hurting so that they could keep working of like, don't you brag, don't you brag, you're no better than anyone, you are no different than anyone.
00:41:33.280 --> 00:41:36.559
So kind of fall in line and and be there.
00:41:36.719 --> 00:41:53.280
And that was also helpful and harmful, and I'll get into both, helpful in that like these people that are bullies are the ones that are picking on people, obviously, and also bragging about themselves and and putting them on some sort of putting themselves on some sort of pedestal.
00:41:53.440 --> 00:42:00.320
And it was also harmful in that, like, oh, you want to come out as a as a queer kid, you want to be different.
00:42:00.480 --> 00:42:01.440
That's that's different.
00:42:01.519 --> 00:42:03.199
So stay in line, you know?
00:42:03.440 --> 00:42:10.400
And I I harbored a lot of guilt from that, but that guilt also kind of fueled that like, no, fuck you, man.
00:42:10.480 --> 00:42:12.159
You will not speak to that person like that.
00:42:12.320 --> 00:42:17.519
And uh I just I've been around enough of those guys to be like, this is what they're going for.
00:42:17.679 --> 00:42:19.920
Let me do it in the worst way possible.
00:42:20.159 --> 00:42:28.320
And um, I think that is a lot of the tone of my um comedic stylings.
00:42:28.880 --> 00:42:29.679
It's working.
00:42:29.920 --> 00:42:30.480
Hey, all right.
00:42:30.800 --> 00:42:34.800
When you went to Chicago after college, you wanted to study improv and comedy.
00:42:34.960 --> 00:42:38.320
Can you just take me through those years and who maybe who you was in your comedy community?
00:42:38.400 --> 00:42:43.760
I've had so many people on this podcast from the Chicago area, and it just is a breeding ground for comedians.
00:42:43.920 --> 00:42:45.760
Um, Meg Stalter, Sarah Sherman.
00:42:45.840 --> 00:42:49.519
Back in the day, Lori Metcalf started Steppenwolf, which I know you worked at.
00:42:49.760 --> 00:42:55.360
Yes, I understudied a play that she starred in, um Little Bear Ridge Road.
00:42:55.599 --> 00:42:57.440
I saw that Broadway brilliant.
00:42:57.760 --> 00:42:58.719
Brilliant, isn't it?
00:42:58.800 --> 00:43:05.920
Yeah, I understudied Micah, and um, I was so fortunate to get to watch those absolute Titans work.
00:43:06.239 --> 00:43:13.519
Um, and understudy with a lot of great people too, that are just like Chicago legends and future legends.
00:43:13.679 --> 00:43:29.360
But um yeah, Chicago is just like the best breeding ground for all of this, and just go cut your teeth, go perform for a theater of two people, if that, the other two people being the other two people that were in the show uh that were hosting the show.
00:43:29.599 --> 00:43:33.760
I was there with um just like so many funny people.
00:43:33.920 --> 00:43:42.079
Caleb Heron hosted a show that I was like one of the first shows I I really performed in with Grace Kulenschmidt, who's now on The Daily Show.
00:43:42.239 --> 00:43:42.800
Oh my god.
00:43:43.039 --> 00:43:49.920
Like I've mentioned before, Parker Callahan, Maggie Winters, uh Jesse Kendall, who just did JFL.
00:43:50.320 --> 00:44:04.559
My main place that I was at is uh the Annoyance Theater, where more the it's more of like the punky DIY scene where there's uh lot more of the queers tend to flock to and I felt very at home there.
00:44:04.719 --> 00:44:17.440
Mick Napier and J uh Jen Eslin are the owners of that bar and and they really helped me develop my voice and take chances and and be shitty on stage so that I could eventually be good.
00:44:17.519 --> 00:44:22.239
It t it the the ten thousand hours I not that I think I got a full 10,000 but I got close.
00:44:22.400 --> 00:44:35.679
The other if I got 5,000 on stage the other 5,000 were um drinking and doing drugs at the annoyance um which is uh sometimes just as informative uh and I could I could go on and on.
00:44:35.920 --> 00:45:17.599
Dairy Queen um was a who's uh one of the most hilarious drag performers in Chicago and quite possibly the world uh also was a dear friend and I was just like around so many hilarious voices both queer and otherwise and and that was the also the the wonderful thing about the annoyance it's like nothing matters like as long as you're doing something weird and funny and honest and you gave a shit about it then um everyone's rooting for you and there was a a there's a real sense of community there and uh I long for the days of of uh I don't long for the past but I do hope to go back to Chicago sometime.
00:45:17.679 --> 00:45:19.840
And I just spoke with Maggie Winters a couple weeks ago.
00:45:19.920 --> 00:45:20.320
She was beautiful.
00:45:20.559 --> 00:45:22.000
My God she's the best.
00:45:22.159 --> 00:45:23.679
Yeah the sweetest of the sweets.
00:45:24.079 --> 00:45:25.199
So what is your main love?
00:45:25.280 --> 00:45:26.480
Is it acting is it improv?
00:45:26.719 --> 00:45:27.440
Is it writing?
00:45:27.599 --> 00:45:28.480
Is it comedy?
00:45:28.639 --> 00:45:30.559
Do you ever envision doing a one man show?
00:45:30.880 --> 00:45:50.960
Uh well I'm learning to read right now so the writing is coming but uh I you know what's funny about all of this is that uh it really it all roads lead back to Wilmington Deller in this small town mindset where it was like well it's a real pipe dream of mine to be an actor but I can't just say I want to be an actor.
00:45:51.119 --> 00:46:58.400
I know I'm funny so maybe I'll take the Zach Alifhanakis Michael Keaton approach um Olivia Coleman approach where I I'm gonna be a funny person first and then someone will go you should try drama kid and uh it's always wanting the the want of being an actor and and uh then inso facto kind of became a comedian uh which I love doing I love comedy it's um the best and the most fun but also acting is so fun I just got to do like a really dramatic sketch with some friends and um I got to like really you know cry and connect and and behave and I was like damn this is like this is awesome this is what I want but yeah I uh I'm working on a on a pilot now working on writing stuff constantly I I just I wanna I wanna act I wanna perform to whatever uh extent that people will have me and and uh puts me in a position to help out whatever material is there.
00:46:58.639 --> 00:47:08.800
So you know the coach with the heart of gold or the guy who came out a little too late in life but is making up for lost time and having a great run of it.
00:47:08.880 --> 00:47:13.679
Uh so anything in that universe I'd love to sink my teeth into.
00:47:13.760 --> 00:47:28.559
But yeah for the most part I just want to create some work for myself and uh hopefully make enough money to be able to give my friends money to make what they want to make and and help in any capacity and um you know bring back the Pax channel.
00:47:28.719 --> 00:47:31.360
I think there needs to be more Christian content out there.
00:47:32.639 --> 00:47:35.360
That was a joke by the way uh for all the listeners out there.
00:47:35.679 --> 00:47:47.199
I'll cut it um no okay so are you a one thing I always ask all my guests are you a glass hapful hope filled person especially in such heavy times how are you maintaining hope?
00:47:47.519 --> 00:47:48.719
How am I maintaining hope?
00:47:48.800 --> 00:47:56.400
It's a great question considering I feel incredibly isolated where I live right now in in beautiful Van Nuys I uh that's such a wonderful question.
00:47:56.480 --> 00:47:57.599
How am I maintaining hope?
00:47:57.760 --> 00:48:04.320
I'm maintaining hope by waking up every day and every day is a new day and every day has infinite possibilities.
00:48:04.480 --> 00:48:35.679
So I would say I'm an optimist I do believe in life I do believe that consciousness is heaven and if we are fortunate enough to recognize it and look at the world through some sense of wonderment then perhaps we can uh connect as a people and gain perspective on each other's lives and I uh I'm I'm reading a lot and hearing so many beautiful stories.
00:48:35.760 --> 00:48:40.960
I just listened to Jeff Hiller's book and God what an incredible person.
00:48:41.519 --> 00:49:35.039
Uh yes that one uh which uh my back to some certain age he was on my podcast last year one of my favorites get out of here yeah I bet um also as I gaze off looking at my grandmother thinking of wonderful people that existed before us and um I have uh a nephew who if I don't remain hopeful then what would hit his his life what what what what would an existence look like for him if right now I can't be hopeful about um possibilities are I'm loving what's happening in Michigan right now I'm loving mom Donnie I'm loving the fact that Spencer Pratt lost um not to get too political here but also life is political who gives a shit I'm happy to be I I just I really hope people can be kinder to people and uh and I'm I'm doing my best I'm doing my best.
00:49:35.280 --> 00:49:52.000
And if we can laugh at shit you know if we can laugh at the men who behave like me on the internet uh and take the piss out of it a little bit and um you know pants them in front of uh an audience by laughing at them then maybe just maybe Kyle we have a shot here.
00:49:52.480 --> 00:50:57.119
Absolutely I also want to remind people that you've done a bunch of acting that they can catch up with if they stream RuPaul's drag race Dexter Fargo the studio only murders in the building tires season three and you have a digital series you're working on called minimum wage correct my god yeah you're doing your work mama uh yeah we'll yeah we'll see and uh spoiler alert if people do want to watch tires they will see uh a full shot of my ass so um a little Easter egg for for all the tangled listeners out there cannot wait and with that the final question I always ask all my guests what are you currently tangled and that you're loving immersing yourself in reading binge watching listening to and then what's something frustrating that you're working to get untangled from what I'm obsessed with right now you know what I'm really obsessed with right now I don't know how you would uh describe it but like the dinosaurs the uh early Judy Garland universe of listening to that stuff while I'm eating dinner and and cooking and that is really pleasant.
00:50:57.360 --> 00:51:11.440
Um I'm really tangled I'm constantly tangled in um what the hell I want to do with my body and whether I need to get stronger or weaker or uh leaner.
00:51:11.599 --> 00:51:12.719
And that's what I'm working on.
00:51:12.800 --> 00:51:20.159
And I'm tangled in loving that and being okay with whatever I'm um looking at.
00:51:20.400 --> 00:51:27.519
Uh also I am trying to get untangled from feeling lonely.
00:51:27.679 --> 00:51:34.320
I need to I need to hang out with more people and it all and it starts with um just hitting people up and that's okay.
00:51:34.719 --> 00:51:36.639
Boy that was a bummer I don't want to end on that.
00:51:36.719 --> 00:51:42.000
Hold on I'm getting I and I you know what I want to untangle myself in is um this darn heat.
00:51:42.159 --> 00:51:43.039
Am I right?
00:51:44.079 --> 00:51:53.119
No I mean it's always we always need people to reach out to even if we have a fiance we always need more in our community more in our corner and yeah what what are you binge watching?
00:51:53.199 --> 00:51:54.800
Let's end on a light note what are you loving right now?
00:51:55.280 --> 00:51:55.679
Okay great.
00:51:55.840 --> 00:51:56.480
You know what?
00:51:57.119 --> 00:51:59.119
Wait, okay this is what I'm really tangled on.
00:51:59.360 --> 00:52:06.159
Jeopardy Kyle oh my God am I a Jeopardy gal now I love Ken Jennings.
00:52:06.320 --> 00:52:11.360
I think he's delightful I think he's charming I think he's the quickest on his feet talk about an improviser.
00:52:11.519 --> 00:52:15.599
This guy has got it I think he could be a fabulous journalist.
00:52:15.760 --> 00:52:50.480
I think he could be a fabulous stage actor I think um he could have a late night show I love him um I think he's bisexual too I'm starting that rumor I remember a comment on Jeopardy where and it was it was related to bisexuality he said most people don't think I am I'm gonna have to find that clip please do because I'd risk it all for Ken Shennings that little Mormon elf uh I love him and um I'm also binge watching Breaking Bad and I gotta say everyone is a genius on that show.
00:52:50.719 --> 00:53:25.519
Uh uh and uh Aaron Paul on the rewatch as a kid I I grew up around a lot of guys like that and I was like oh I hate this guy I hate this guy so much and now I'm just like what an unfortunate guy Jesse Pinkman is and I really like love him and he's such like talk about being from a small town and feeling stuck and feeling like the world is small so you are forced to go along with something in order to feel something and and feel like you're a part of something in which it just gets you tangled.
00:53:25.679 --> 00:53:35.519
And I know a lot of people with not necessarily his fate where he gets kidnapped and all this but like of just getting addicted to something and it being not good.
00:53:35.679 --> 00:53:41.679
So all I that all I has to say this breaking bad shout's not bad.
00:53:41.760 --> 00:53:51.599
It's pretty good I'll be the first to say that yeah so that's where I am Kevin what a treat I have loved speaking with you.
00:53:51.679 --> 00:54:06.880
Thank you so much for taking the time thank you you have no idea how much this means to me Kyle you are a uh a true visionary and I mean that in every sense of the word and I applaud you and um thank you more than anything.
00:54:07.199 --> 00:54:20.639
Thank you so sweet thank you so much Evan make sure to follow him wherever you can on social media and check out all of his work he has a great follow he's a humorous person he's a kindhearted person.
00:54:20.800 --> 00:54:22.639
I can't wait to see what he does next.
00:54:22.719 --> 00:54:24.239
I really appreciate it.
00:54:24.559 --> 00:54:27.280
Alright now Tangled in song what song am I Tangled in?
00:54:27.679 --> 00:54:31.039
I'm gonna bring it down a little bit guys but you have to listen to this song.
00:54:31.119 --> 00:54:36.559
It's such a beautiful track and it's by Sarah Borellas, a one-of-a-kind artist of this era.
00:54:36.800 --> 00:54:39.199
I love how she just leaves it all out on the table.
00:54:39.280 --> 00:54:40.880
She's not afraid to be vulnerable.
00:54:41.039 --> 00:54:50.480
She is showing us all of the cracks and all of the messiness that grief holds and all of the beauty that grief holds and that's what her new single is about.
00:54:50.639 --> 00:54:51.519
It's called Home.
00:54:51.679 --> 00:55:25.760
She has a new record called Good Grief and I cannot wait to listen to it although I know it's gonna be a tough listen but you know we all experience grief at at points in our life and losing my dog River was actually the biggest grief I've ever felt and I've lost people in my life but something about my my little boy leaving that has broken me open and I know I've talked about it on this podcast but this song Home I think is really going to help people on their grief and healing journey and it was inspired by a conversation that she saw with Anderson Cooper and Stephen Colbert who were talking about grief.
00:55:25.920 --> 00:55:35.760
And Anderson Cooper had lost his father at a young age and afterward she wrote this beautiful song and she's also lost people in her life including her best friend Gavin Creel.
00:55:36.159 --> 00:55:42.880
And I think the whole new album is shaped around grief and how we process and how we move on and how we heal and how we share.
00:55:42.960 --> 00:56:08.960
And this song is really about sharing our grief because oftentimes we're taught to bury grief as she says in the song bury grief with the dead not to share these feelings not to be vulnerable not to crack in front of people but the song really pushes against it and says that we need to come out of hiding there's freedom in sharing our stories, sharing our truth, sharing our memories of these people who have passed.
00:56:09.119 --> 00:56:14.239
And she has also said that she considers home to be a place of connection, a place of peace.
00:56:14.480 --> 00:56:29.760
And she encourages all of us to find home within expressing and sharing and giving new life to these memories passing them down one generation to the next the lyrics in part go I never asked hard questions I thought they'd cause more pain.
00:56:29.840 --> 00:56:36.079
I hadn't yet learned life's holiest lesson that what is broken cannot heal until it's known and loved by name.
00:56:36.320 --> 00:56:38.239
So tell me your story I'll tell you mine.
00:56:38.400 --> 00:56:45.119
You don't need to worry everything's already all right you'll be the universe nothing to hide anywhere you need to go I can carry us home.
00:56:45.519 --> 00:56:48.239
I was taught to bury with the dead the presence of my grief.
00:56:48.400 --> 00:56:51.119
I see it now but didn't bend that silence is a thief.
00:56:51.280 --> 00:56:57.920
It made strangers out of friends robbed me of saving graces offered in unlikely places I thought I could outrun it in the end.
00:56:58.079 --> 00:57:04.320
When a shattered heart is desperate the only respite is to let somebody in so tell me your story I'll tell you mine.
00:57:04.480 --> 00:57:11.280
So I encourage all of you to listen to this song and in turn share your story and encourage others to share theirs with you.
00:57:11.440 --> 00:57:39.280
And I love how she closes the song with being in a place of sharing your grief with a child, not hiding your sadness because you're sharing your story of this person that was in your life and you want them to understand and realize how much they meant to you not suppress that she says when I speak his name my voice gives out even after all these years but I want my son to know now so my son will see my tears my son will see my tears Home by Sarah Borellis.
00:57:39.360 --> 00:57:44.480
Please give it a listen all right my friends I will be back next week with another fantastic guest.
00:57:44.559 --> 00:57:57.760
We have many on the way this September and beyond so make sure to follow me on Instagram, TikTok YouTube wherever you can please like rate and subscribe if you are so willing it really helps and I love your comments and I love when you connect with me as well so send me a DM.
00:57:58.239 --> 00:58:00.000
I will see and speak with you soon.
00:58:00.159 --> 00:58:02.559
Until then you take care of yourselves