WEBVTT
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[SPEAKER_02]: Hey everyone, welcome back to the HA podcast.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I am joined today by Zoe.
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[SPEAKER_02]: This is exciting because she is a client of Abbey on our team.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And I actually think this might be the first interview I've done with anyone who was a direct client of Abbey's because she was a newer coach on our team who joined this year in 2026.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So Zoe, welcome to the show.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I'm excited to have you here.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Would you start off by telling everyone a bit about who you are, where you're from, how old you are, and then tell us where you believe that you're story with AJB games?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, cool, and I don't find it so.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm Zoe.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I actually live in the cultural from England, very lucky.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, and I am 33 now, just under 33, um, so, and I'm working as a physio as well.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So, hence the whole kind of healthcare stuff.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, but yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, so my story, my story is quite long one.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It began quite a while ago.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I would say.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, so I.
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[SPEAKER_01]: actually had quite a severe eating disorder.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Probably went back when I was like 24, started when I was 24, I'd moved to London, things like gray, started running with my then boyfriend.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Now has been, it was really good fun, but I was also working in like a really high pressure job at the time.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I think I kind of just hit a point where I couldn't control what I was doing at work so the easiest thing really for me to control was my weight and how I looked.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So that's kind of where it all began.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I then started going to the gym every single day morning and then running home in the evenings.
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[SPEAKER_01]: um, I was losing weight quite fast.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Everyone around me could see it, but I couldn't really know.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, yeah, there's nothing wrong.
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[SPEAKER_01]: This is fine.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm just, you know, I'm just being healthy.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I kind of down on my food.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I wasn't feeling for what I was doing at all.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And then yeah, ended up actually in hospital for quite a long time, um, about two and a half, three years.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I
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[SPEAKER_01]: At that point, I hadn't really focused on the fact that I'd lost my period, like that was a sideline, didn't really care.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I think I didn't really care about a lot of things at that point, but after I came out of hospital, I kind of was like, huh, this is weird because obviously I'd gained some weight back by that point and I was like, where's my period?
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[SPEAKER_01]: And actually, when did I lose it?
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[SPEAKER_01]: I hadn't even really kept a track of it at all.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, so I guess, yeah, at that point, I became a little bit concerned, but I went to the G.P.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, I'm like, if you were like, well, it's because you've had an eating disorder, you know, it's going to take a while to come back.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, at this point, I knew some of the people who had also had an eating disorder when I did who was like, yeah, I thought my very back is fine.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I never really fully recovered from kind of the exercise kind of side of things, so I was probably eating okay, still wasn't probably feeling enough for what I was doing, but I kind of just figured okay, well maybe it's just going to take me a little bit more time to get my favorite back roll on quite a few years after, got married, I wanted to start trying to children and,
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[SPEAKER_01]: was like, well, I still don't have my period.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know how we're going to do this.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So we kind of, I took some ovulation kits.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, yeah, there's definitely something going on because I'd get that little smiley face.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, hi, you're great.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We can start trying, but obviously nothing ever happened.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, this point again, started to get a little bit concerned.
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[SPEAKER_01]: went back to my GP.
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[SPEAKER_01]: They were like, they went to my ex-size at this point.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I was still running 10 kilometers a day and go to the gym in the evening and doing a hit class, and that was every single day.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I thought nothing was wrong with that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So went back to my GP.
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[SPEAKER_01]: He was like, that's great going all the way to the exercise.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Keep going with it just we can put you on the pill.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, obviously that didn't work.
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[SPEAKER_01]: and then came off the pill and still nothing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I had all of the investigations, I had ultrasounds.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I actually had an MRI of my head.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So, you found a cyst on my hide of thalamus.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But that was benign, so that was fine.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And then, the end of chronologist, I went to see that did the MRI was like, hey, have you heard of,
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[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, don't have a clear word that is.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So she taught me through it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And actually that was kind of a bit of a light bulb moment for me, because I was like, huh, maybe actually all of this exercise that I've been doing that people have said has been really good is actually not great at all.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, kind of went through that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: The only thing is she then said, well, just stop exercising.
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[SPEAKER_02]: You'll be fine.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm sure a lot of people have heard that as well, you know, just stop exercising and you'll be fine.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And it was fine, but it wasn't because I actually wasn't ready to give a sex.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I was in that point at all.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I thought I could try it on my own.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I thought I could kind of cut down a little bit.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I cut down from like 10 kilometres a day to eight.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And we're still doing everything else and still wasn't fueling for what I was doing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I went back to her the next year, and she was like, have you got your period back yet?
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, no, I don't know what's going on.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't know what was going on.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I was still doing too much and not eating enough.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And she kind of just reiterated that maybe actually just try and start cutting down more rather than just completely stopping all at once.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I tried that, and I'm the kind of person that's a bit all or nothing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So,
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[SPEAKER_01]: I can't just kind of cut down because I'll just start kind of exercising more again.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I guess I then found the H.O.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C
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[SPEAKER_01]: stop exercising and eat a little bit more and then I stopped exercising had a complete breakdown was like I can't do this on my own.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I managed to stay not exercising but that's kind of when I got in contact with you guys and was like I really think I need some more help with this and I need some
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, and then she actually put me in touch with Abbey, um, and actually, uh, the week before I was the place to meet her, I got my first period.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It happens like that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I emailed her and I was like, hey, by the way, I've got my period.
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[SPEAKER_01]: She was like, oh, that's really great.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You still need to come to me.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So I actually love that it's actually ideal.
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[SPEAKER_02]: My personal opinion is ideal because it's
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[SPEAKER_02]: Um, a lot of people do need help with getting the first period, but there's also a specific group of people who can get the first period, but there's a lot of unknown or overwhelmed about like, okay, well, how do we continue past this?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Because how I got this first cycle is an exactly how I want to continue living my life long term.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And that's actually where a lot of the guidance comes in.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So if someone is lucky enough to get their first period really early on during the intensive part of the coaching,
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[SPEAKER_02]: You can focus more on like, okay, well, how do we keep it and transition into our real life?
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[SPEAKER_02]: So that's cool.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Was that your immediate thought or were you just like, what did you mean?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Like, what did you first think when you got your cycle back, but you were about to start doing this with Abby?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Do you know what?
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[SPEAKER_01]: I was still like I definitely need some support because as you said it wasn't one, it wasn't the ideal cycle at all.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I think I had like a two-day video phase.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I don't know, but that's kind of what my temperatures were doing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And then I literally crashed out.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So like it was just not the ideal period.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Like for me, I was like, no, this is too much into heavy.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But
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[SPEAKER_01]: you know and now now I've learned more about it obviously a lot of people get that and you know that's that's fairly okay but I was like I don't want to continue like this you know and the fact that we were trying to get pregnant anyway
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[SPEAKER_01]: like, I was like, this is the deal face is not ideal anyway.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And also, my relationship with Food and Exercise was still crap.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It really was.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I guess that's where kind of the coaching really helped and like Abby was then absolutely great.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It was like, okay, well, where do we need to go from here?
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I guess kind of the coaching was where the real work began, I would say, because
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[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I was very lucky and I think I was on the brink of starting my cycle anyway before I cut out all exercise.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's just kind of the push my body needed.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But it was like two weeks after.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And as I said, like my relationship was still like, oh well, I can just stop exercise then.
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[SPEAKER_01]: My period of come back pretty quickly and actually then I can just.
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[SPEAKER_01]: go back to what I was doing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So that's kind of where my mindset still was and I think that's where you know even if you have had your first period like it's still so important that actually do the mental work as well because yeah you've got the physical side but and I think you know some people have it the other way around it and they were you know they're waiting a long time
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[SPEAKER_01]: for their first period, but actually they've done a lot of the mental work.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So, it kind of, I guess it happens as every combination for sure, is that okay?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Beautiful.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Well, okay, so I wanna know, I wanna know, what were the main things that needed to happen for you?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Like when you look back at, okay, probably the key things I needed to change were this and this.
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[SPEAKER_02]: This is usually just like some main things were the biggest change that you kind of have a hunch matted the most.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And then I want to know what you need to do to keep getting the cycle.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So the biggest thing for me was exercise actually like a hundred percent and that needed to come out that just needed to come out for a little bit like that was the easiest way I then didn't have any opportunity to kind of cheat essentially and be like oh well I could just
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[SPEAKER_01]: two K-brand rather than a 10 K-brand or like I could just go to the gym and maybe do like I found where I have a weight session or you know anything like that or like a hit session.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So that completely had to come out and you know I think Abby was in agreement that that was what needed to happen as well I needed to stay like that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I still want to leave some movement in so I kind of gave myself walking for like half an hour.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You know, and that was it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Pretty much.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, caveat.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I've got a horse as well.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So that keeps me pretty busy.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And how any language you are now.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, the client.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, that's got it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So, and I think I underestimate and probably still do to extent how much energy that takes as well.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And actually how it can be a little bit stressful sometimes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: um although I am very lucky.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah it was kind of thinking about how I could then maintain that and just as a as another thing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm I'm not
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[SPEAKER_01]: eight months on and I have added some exercise back in, but it is nowhere near why I was doing and I am feeling for it like crazy.
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[SPEAKER_02]: How do you feel about that?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so do you know what the hardest part for me was breakfast?
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I know that sounds really weird, but actually starting, I always would do some exercise before having breakfast.
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[SPEAKER_01]: both during the week and at weekends.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And actually it got to the point where I was just skipping breakfast all together.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I'd been going to earn that breakfast exactly by then eat after sleeping.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I know right.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But then I'd be so hungry at lunch that I would literally just eat everything inside like at a weekend.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, and actually that's so much better now.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And that's kind of how I've thought about it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, I'm no longer sitting down and just eating for like an hour because I was just so hungry.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, I feel better anyway, like my, my blood sugar's just feeling much more level.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not going like up and down like a yo yo.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, and I guess kind of for me.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It was partly to do with how I felt and the fact that I could just sit down and be like not think about food, you know, I could just sit down and relax and not think I'm really hungry or like I could just like eat like everything that's in the cupboard because I was so active and just not feeling so actually now I'm I'm pretty much fine with it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I do have the occasional wobble still, I'm not perfect, you know, sometimes I, you know, because I have put on a fair bit of weight and you know, it's kind of now staying where it is.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But especially kind of in the early days, I'd look at myself and think, I, no, I can't put on any weight like this is it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going back like I'm going to kind of restrict again and
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[SPEAKER_01]: I guess when you're trying to get pregnant, actually, that overrides quite a lot of what you're thinking about anyway, because you were just like, I just, you know, I just want to get pregnant.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, so that's yeah, that's kind of how I manage that and went off in a bit of a tangent there, but yeah, yeah, so yeah, I do feel in a much, much better place now, and I know kind of eight months
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[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, and it is because on the eight months, things should typically start being like more stable.
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[SPEAKER_02]: You also have more historical data.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So you are more confident in what you're looking at, you're like, okay.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I made me missed a temperature here or here, you know, but I know what my cervical me because it looks like generally I know what ovulation looks like and feels like I know what my lydial phase is like and so you get more confidence in your ability to look at your cycle and see if it's what it's doing and then you know as well a bit better how to fix issues if you see them.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah and also my personal favorite because everyone has a lot more anxiety in the beginning of getting regular cycles because there's a lot of what if it's going to come but if it doesn't come but what but the more you get I mean at about like six seven eight cycles to a certain point now you know it's going to come so all of that starts to dissipate and go away and that's like
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[SPEAKER_02]: the beauty of just time and just letting yourself get through it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, a hundred percent and I think that's really important actually what you said is you, I think when you first kind of start in recovery, you don't trust your body at all.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I did not trust my body.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, I'm just going to, you know, it's I'm not going to get any more cycles and I'm just going to keep on kind of
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[SPEAKER_01]: gaining a load of weight and feeling really horrible at myself and actually, you know, you get to a certain point and you're like, you, you kind of, you don't stop caring, but you're kind of like, do you know what actually just leave yourself alone and just let, let things be, and it'll, you know, sort of self out.
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[SPEAKER_01]: That's when is the last time that you just left left your sop online.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And you know, it's, I mean,
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[SPEAKER_01]: Now I can, I can leave myself alone and be like, you know what?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Actually, like it's like last night, I had like four hours sleep.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So today, I mean, I've had work, but apart from that, I've been like, no.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Not where is I used to be like, oh my god, I have to go and do something every single day.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Now it's like, I just go by how I feel.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And that's really nice, and it's such a kind of freeing feeling as well.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Not to have to, kind of,
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[SPEAKER_01]: feel like you have to go and do something for sure.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I had my daughter home, it's the summer holidays, so she's not at school, and I had her at home for the whole of the last few weeks.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And it was just really hard to go to the gym season 4 and very clingy and like your exhausted and I just couldn't like getting them out the door is so hard that you almost can't be bothered.
17:45.952 --> 17:49.753
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I just didn't go and that's fine.
17:50.333 --> 17:51.034
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, right.
17:51.434 --> 17:54.295
[SPEAKER_02]: Whereas once upon a time I would have probably lost my mind.
17:54.944 --> 17:55.764
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, exactly.
17:55.784 --> 17:58.865
[SPEAKER_01]: And you know, it's, it's, it is so nice.
17:59.105 --> 17:59.786
[SPEAKER_01]: Not to these in mind.
18:01.346 --> 18:04.527
[SPEAKER_02]: To be honest, like, That's what it's about.
18:04.567 --> 18:06.688
[SPEAKER_02]: And people, okay, I, yes, I love that.
18:07.188 --> 18:17.912
[SPEAKER_02]: Because we would get super anxious, very stressed, maybe even take things out on those around us, if we're not getting,
18:18.792 --> 18:34.040
[SPEAKER_02]: you know, our to-do list on, you know, our workout in or we over eight or someone through something unplanned into the mix for our day and and then when we go into recovery, there's a part of us.
18:34.100 --> 18:38.422
[SPEAKER_02]: It's also like that that anxiety is what's stopping us from
18:39.943 --> 18:42.885
[SPEAKER_02]: we're like making us feel fear of taking the actions that we need to take.
18:43.306 --> 18:48.830
[SPEAKER_02]: And we're almost afraid of losing our anxiety, like we're afraid of changing as a person.
18:49.251 --> 19:00.940
[SPEAKER_02]: We don't want to be relaxed about things because being relaxed about things means something about you that like you don't actually value in people, which is so strange.
19:01.461 --> 19:04.463
[SPEAKER_02]: But then you feel it and you're like, oh actually it's not bad.
19:05.224 --> 19:06.785
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't kind of value this now.
19:07.946 --> 19:10.407
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, don't knock it till you try it.
19:11.848 --> 19:18.670
[SPEAKER_01]: I used to think I'd never be the kind of person that could just sit down for an afternoon and watch Crap TV and not play it.
19:19.330 --> 19:24.152
[SPEAKER_01]: Or they might be, okay, we're having our living room done and we don't have a safer and I really, really miss it at the moment.
19:25.393 --> 19:35.476
[SPEAKER_02]: In that way, so much sense and to be fair to like, it's not all way, you know, sometimes sometimes you will still feel that way, like those old thoughts will pop up, but they're just
19:37.305 --> 19:55.031
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you're so right, sometimes they do, they, they do pop up definitely and you kind of, but rather than acting on them now, you kind of just going to go, oh yeah, there's that thought, I recognize that, I know that's not necessarily a great thought.
19:55.711 --> 19:57.552
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm just going to park it and we'll see why.
19:57.572 --> 20:04.414
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's another thing that the recovery process does for you is.
20:06.184 --> 20:14.551
[SPEAKER_02]: feel like the first time ever for a lot of us makes us try to reflect on our own thoughts from the outside objectively.
20:15.032 --> 20:16.533
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't think I ever did that.
20:16.593 --> 20:20.237
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't think I ever was like, that's an interesting thought.
20:20.257 --> 20:21.418
[SPEAKER_02]: What do I think about that thought?
20:21.458 --> 20:23.499
[SPEAKER_02]: Like everything was just true and a hundred percent real.
20:24.260 --> 20:25.702
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
20:25.722 --> 20:28.726
[SPEAKER_02]: And then it makes you do that for other areas of your life.
20:29.407 --> 20:30.989
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, must be massively.
20:31.029 --> 20:32.271
[SPEAKER_01]: I'd like, don't get me wrong.
20:32.291 --> 20:34.413
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I mean, and even things are like your job, right?
20:34.554 --> 20:35.595
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I love my job.
20:35.835 --> 20:36.236
[SPEAKER_01]: I do.
20:36.636 --> 20:36.736
[SPEAKER_01]: And
20:38.308 --> 20:42.211
[SPEAKER_01]: But sometimes you're like, is this really what I want to be doing for long term?
20:42.331 --> 20:44.132
[SPEAKER_01]: And you're like, oh, God, what's this doing to be now?
20:44.172 --> 20:46.034
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I can't be questioning my own career.
20:47.535 --> 20:50.938
[SPEAKER_02]: But like, you should, and you probably should every like five to ten years.
20:50.998 --> 20:52.018
[SPEAKER_02]: Just be like, check in.
20:52.219 --> 20:53.059
[SPEAKER_02]: Do I want to do this?
20:53.920 --> 20:54.520
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, okay.
20:55.261 --> 21:00.105
[SPEAKER_02]: And remembering to like not everything has a hundred percent upside.
21:00.585 --> 21:03.587
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, yeah, matter what you're going to do, uh,
21:06.624 --> 21:07.264
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I love it.
21:07.444 --> 21:08.804
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, amazing.
21:09.204 --> 21:10.585
[SPEAKER_02]: So you're on cycle eight now.
21:10.685 --> 21:13.805
[SPEAKER_02]: Now your goal going into recovery was pregnancy.
21:14.665 --> 21:15.806
[SPEAKER_02]: I sort of am your application.
21:15.846 --> 21:25.267
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know that for a fact, but maybe tell I didn't ask you so going in that was one of your goals and was that like, would you like to be pregnant by now but you're not like, what's the update?
21:26.047 --> 21:28.488
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I mean, I think, do you know what?
21:28.528 --> 21:32.168
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I kind of went in being like, right, and this again is going back to there.
21:32.588 --> 21:36.069
[SPEAKER_01]: I can go back to doing my old stuff as soon as I hit my goal, right?
21:36.809 --> 21:39.190
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, no, I haven't got pregnant yet, and do you know what?
21:39.330 --> 21:42.352
[SPEAKER_01]: That's okay, actually, because I've been working on other stuff.
21:42.532 --> 21:47.074
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been working on my mental side and actually, you know, yes, we're still trying.
21:47.255 --> 21:48.335
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's fine.
21:48.495 --> 21:59.021
[SPEAKER_01]: And you know, I mean, I have, I, this is a K to share with a podcast actually, but I have, I had a chemical pregnancy a couple of months ago, and do you know what that was okay, too?
21:59.121 --> 22:00.802
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it was a bit rubbish.
22:01.242 --> 22:03.063
[SPEAKER_01]: But, you know, I was like,
22:03.516 --> 22:04.397
[SPEAKER_01]: I can get pregnant.
22:04.817 --> 22:25.153
[SPEAKER_01]: I know I can get a man and actually, you know, it's a big, it's a big learning going through recovery and I think for me personally it's probably a good thing I didn't get pregnant straight away because I think I would have gone pregnant, had a child and then just gone straight back to where I was.
22:25.574 --> 22:28.476
[SPEAKER_01]: And actually that is not one, how I want to
22:32.943 --> 22:34.563
[SPEAKER_01]: And too, I needed the breathing space.
22:35.564 --> 22:36.744
[SPEAKER_01]: I did.
22:37.684 --> 22:45.766
[SPEAKER_01]: So, but yeah, we are still trying, and actually now I feel in a much better place to get pregnant than I did when I started.
22:46.526 --> 23:00.489
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so I love that a lot of people do get pregnant quickly, but they do have that exact challenge you brought up which is, so when we were talking earlier about like, okay, eight cycles and you more know what you're doing, what you're looking at, you know what,
23:02.967 --> 23:04.548
[SPEAKER_02]: eating patterns, etc.
23:04.668 --> 23:17.613
[SPEAKER_02]: move the needle more than others and you also have the benefit of making mistakes by the sounds of it, bringing in exercise when you shouldn't have delusional confidence about how easy those things will be to do.
23:17.633 --> 23:22.355
[SPEAKER_02]: The amount of learning that happens within only eight months when you think about it is huge.
23:23.309 --> 23:33.540
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh 100% yeah and people not not everyone has that and so they go through this pregnancy and now actually post-partum it's very common for everything to be different.
23:34.321 --> 23:36.043
[SPEAKER_02]: So what got you from H.A.
23:36.083 --> 23:40.948
[SPEAKER_02]: to ovulation the first time isn't necessarily what gets you from post-partum a
23:44.394 --> 24:02.076
[SPEAKER_02]: pregnancy and it's very it's almost 100% of the time that women who have a history of HA struggle like they don't get their period back whilst breastfeeding like many other women do and so there's a lot of unknown is it because breastfeeding is it because
24:02.698 --> 24:06.419
[SPEAKER_02]: you know, I have this AJ history is it because I'm actively in a chain.
24:06.439 --> 24:17.081
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't understand that I'm not eating enough and how has the impact of being pregnant so early on when I haven't fully replenished my mineral status through my body.
24:17.461 --> 24:20.801
[SPEAKER_02]: There's so many more questions for a lot of people.
24:21.841 --> 24:26.222
[SPEAKER_02]: And that makes it more difficult and we're getting more and more, I don't know why.
24:31.243 --> 24:36.507
[SPEAKER_02]: But as the years have gone, we do get many postpartum clients.
24:37.468 --> 24:40.791
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't really understand how that works, but that's how it's working.
24:41.531 --> 24:43.313
[SPEAKER_02]: And there is a difference.
24:43.513 --> 24:48.777
[SPEAKER_02]: There's a difference in their physiological and emotional state.
24:49.397 --> 24:49.618
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
24:49.998 --> 24:50.358
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
24:50.838 --> 24:52.620
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's something really important.
24:53.843 --> 25:05.886
[SPEAKER_01]: to be aware of as well, like when, you know, post-pastormous, he said, because I didn't know that until you kind of said, actually, I've seen a little bit in the kind of society conversations, but, you know, I wouldn't have had any idea.
25:06.286 --> 25:10.007
[SPEAKER_01]: So that, you know, it's really good to know as well.
25:10.127 --> 25:10.947
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
25:11.067 --> 25:19.049
[SPEAKER_01]: And just going back to this, I know you were talking about what moves the needle with what kind of what my temperatures are doing or kind of like population things.
25:19.109 --> 25:21.350
[SPEAKER_01]: And what I found is the past.
25:22.490 --> 25:31.558
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been away over the weekend and was really, I was really rubbish with my protein, like really rubbish.
25:32.298 --> 25:37.202
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I, to be fair, I didn't take my thermometer with me.
25:38.283 --> 25:43.527
[SPEAKER_01]: But I could kind of just tell and kind of when I've looked at them now, I'm like, ah, some of them have been quite low.
25:43.547 --> 25:50.393
[SPEAKER_01]: And actually, I feel like now I've started reintroducing some more protein, especially at breakfast.
25:51.747 --> 26:19.842
[SPEAKER_01]: Like they've started kind of creeping back up again a little bit so it's just things like that that you as you said like the more you are kind of in it and the more you're aware of your Sure and also kind of just how you feel as well, you know, the better you are moving that needle so you know what you need to do it's it's really just experience yeah right like we all start inexperienced with
26:20.855 --> 26:27.519
[SPEAKER_02]: having conversations with our body and interpreting charts and like we don't have any data at all.
26:28.179 --> 26:28.820
[SPEAKER_02]: So you're just like
26:30.273 --> 26:58.900
[SPEAKER_02]: And even we're starting with no data but we're telling you like, okay, well based on the data we have for every other woman that we know is doing what you're doing and trying to go where you're trying to go like he's what we need to do and then you just have more and more data all the time and yeah, you're seeing like, okay, when I take this away, this doesn't work when I put this back in it does or it works a little bit, you know, and I realize it needs a bit more, but yeah.
26:59.507 --> 26:59.987
[SPEAKER_02]: Interesting.
27:00.007 --> 27:02.808
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm getting stuck doing that.
27:03.608 --> 27:04.969
[SPEAKER_02]: So what does that mean?
27:05.009 --> 27:17.753
[SPEAKER_02]: And now you even unlock a new block or like another layer of fear or habit or mindset that you had that you didn't even know.
27:17.813 --> 27:21.594
[SPEAKER_02]: So like there's even layers of that right because you're saying breakfast was really hard for you.
27:22.534 --> 27:25.035
[SPEAKER_02]: And now breakfast is less hard for you.
27:26.160 --> 27:30.002
[SPEAKER_02]: but there might be times when it becomes hard again.
27:30.622 --> 27:30.782
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
27:30.802 --> 27:33.064
[SPEAKER_02]: And you're like, oh, why?
27:33.644 --> 27:34.945
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, no, exactly.
27:35.005 --> 27:38.326
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think it's going back to going away as well.
27:38.387 --> 27:43.149
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's, you know, when you're at home, you're like, right, I've got kind of, I know what I'm doing.
27:43.689 --> 27:44.650
[SPEAKER_01]: I know what things are.
27:45.130 --> 27:46.751
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I know where food is.
27:47.331 --> 27:52.234
[SPEAKER_01]: And when you go away, you're like, I don't know what I'm doing, but I know I do.
27:52.474 --> 27:53.855
[SPEAKER_01]: But you know, you kind of,
27:54.982 --> 27:56.483
[SPEAKER_01]: I think you get a bit more relaxed.
27:56.843 --> 28:04.846
[SPEAKER_01]: Which is great because obviously you're away from home and you might be a holiday or whatever, but I've kind of learned you kind of do silly to watch it.
28:06.326 --> 28:10.848
[SPEAKER_01]: Actually, you know, even eight months on, my body still is quite sensitive to changes.
28:11.869 --> 28:16.831
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it can only take a couple of days and it kind of just flips a little bit, not loads, but it will.
28:18.451 --> 28:22.513
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you just have to be a bit more aware still.
28:23.888 --> 28:25.650
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, exactly.
28:25.931 --> 28:33.239
[SPEAKER_02]: You always have to be keeping a pulse on it and that's all we encourage people to do right and don't be obsessive about it, but just always be keeping a pulse.
28:34.160 --> 28:39.866
[SPEAKER_02]: Like go on vacation, let it slip, have a non-perfect chart, no one really cares about that.
28:40.698 --> 28:44.422
[SPEAKER_02]: you know, like month or month, but know why it happened.
28:45.123 --> 28:46.124
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
28:46.544 --> 28:46.964
[SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.
28:47.285 --> 28:48.626
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, it's so good.
28:48.826 --> 28:49.187
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
28:49.667 --> 28:50.548
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, this was great.
28:50.628 --> 28:54.712
[SPEAKER_02]: I loved learning more about your story and I feel like it was really relatable.
28:54.732 --> 28:57.896
[SPEAKER_02]: I appreciate you coming on and
29:00.221 --> 29:11.727
[SPEAKER_02]: being so transparent about everything through the chemical pregnancy and you're not pregnant yet, but you see that you're probably where you're supposed to be.
29:12.327 --> 29:14.708
[SPEAKER_02]: For some reason, yeah, yes.
29:15.168 --> 29:17.129
[SPEAKER_02]: So encouraging for so many people.
29:18.170 --> 29:27.414
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, hopefully, I hope it is because, you know, I think there's a lot of pressure nowadays to get pregnant quickly, especially kind of,
29:27.862 --> 29:29.623
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, I found it kind of after you get married.
29:29.643 --> 29:46.750
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, people expect to be kind of okay, where's the baby, where's the baby and you're kind of like, well, three is down the line, but you know, you kind of just have to push that to the side a little bit and be like, well, what is actually best for me at this point to make them the best future for you know.
29:48.157 --> 29:53.598
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, that's the other lesson that HA will teach you is you really need to take a step back from what other people expect of you.
29:54.619 --> 29:54.979
[SPEAKER_02]: 100%.
29:55.059 --> 29:55.939
[SPEAKER_02]: 100%.
29:55.979 --> 29:56.259
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
29:56.999 --> 30:05.381
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, like I really realize you lived your whole life being like, okay, what does everyone else think about me and how do I control the narrative about it?
30:06.001 --> 30:06.381
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
30:06.741 --> 30:08.542
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's a massive thing as well.
30:09.162 --> 30:15.443
[SPEAKER_01]: They're kind of recovery teachers, you know, is, I mean, I think you do still turn an extent care what other people think
30:18.555 --> 30:20.596
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, it really does make up.
30:20.977 --> 30:24.519
[SPEAKER_01]: He's a massively care about kind of what people were thinking about me.
30:25.180 --> 30:30.523
[SPEAKER_01]: And like, I've had some patients be say to me and like, oh, you've been on weight.
30:30.563 --> 30:33.626
[SPEAKER_01]: Like literally, I had one patient said to me.
30:34.366 --> 30:36.548
[SPEAKER_01]: She was like, oh, well, I've lost weight.
30:36.588 --> 30:38.109
[SPEAKER_01]: So maybe I could take some of yours now.
30:38.489 --> 30:40.410
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, dude, seriously.
30:41.031 --> 30:41.811
[SPEAKER_01]: What is your problem?
30:42.432 --> 30:43.032
[SPEAKER_01]: My problem.
30:43.693 --> 30:45.714
[SPEAKER_01]: But, and that would have really upset me,
30:48.848 --> 30:50.048
[SPEAKER_01]: That is kind of your problem.
30:51.049 --> 31:01.412
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, you're so tied up in how you look that you're so like if someone says that it means that it's on there it's top of mind for them.
31:01.792 --> 31:02.073
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
31:02.493 --> 31:03.393
[SPEAKER_02]: Which is so sad.
31:03.413 --> 31:07.614
[SPEAKER_02]: 100% I don't also be petty enough to be like well.
31:09.595 --> 31:10.715
[SPEAKER_02]: Your nose is big.
31:12.016 --> 31:13.056
[SPEAKER_00]: It's really.
31:14.097 --> 31:15.797
[SPEAKER_02]: Just like some arbitrary facts.
31:15.817 --> 31:15.997
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
31:18.973 --> 31:26.897
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I probably would be fine if I said that, but, you know, you do, you kind of adjust like, well, yeah, that says more about you than it says about me.
31:27.257 --> 31:27.557
[SPEAKER_01]: So.
31:28.638 --> 31:42.925
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's the same with compliments to, like, if someone might say something, because that comes up a lot in our society community calls, a common thing of like, I'm having a hard time because people are saying this about me, and a lot of women with H.A.
31:42.965 --> 31:43.105
[SPEAKER_02]: work
31:47.327 --> 31:48.528
[SPEAKER_02]: comment on their body all the time.
31:49.268 --> 31:54.492
[SPEAKER_02]: It's wild, like it's so strange that anyone would do that, but they do.
31:54.512 --> 31:55.413
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
31:55.733 --> 31:58.615
[SPEAKER_02]: And we're more used to people commenting positive things.
32:00.122 --> 32:09.167
[SPEAKER_02]: But I'm now so aware of just comments at all that I once had someone just like a little bit around two years ago.
32:09.928 --> 32:15.191
[SPEAKER_02]: She was always very up and down with her way due to various reasons.
32:16.851 --> 32:19.173
[SPEAKER_02]: And she hadn't seen me in a long time.
32:19.813 --> 32:24.995
[SPEAKER_02]: And she mentioned, you know, because I had lost a lot of my recurrent initial recovery weight.
32:25.175 --> 32:27.056
[SPEAKER_02]: And so she hadn't seen, hadn't seen me.
32:27.656 --> 32:29.837
[SPEAKER_02]: And she was like, you look great.
32:29.857 --> 32:36.079
[SPEAKER_02]: It looks like something about like, I must be working out or whatever, which is like, it was actually not true.
32:36.619 --> 32:46.562
[SPEAKER_02]: And I, um, I turned to her and I said, actually, um, this is, this is more from extreme anxiety and stress.
32:47.343 --> 32:47.563
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
32:50.228 --> 33:02.274
[SPEAKER_02]: And you're so frown, we're listening, you know, because I'll post sometimes my recovery weight gain, but it'll look different now and you're a fair bit of that was from stress and anxiety and it's a not a good thing.
33:02.294 --> 33:04.275
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just like a not a good thing.
33:04.495 --> 33:16.621
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I think it's important to tell people the truth so that they start learning to like shut up instead of saying thank you.
33:18.802 --> 33:46.444
[SPEAKER_02]: 100% yeah and I think like to your point as well like why are we commenting on people's bodies like what you simply must know let me make you feel really uncomfortable so then you stop and think because that's the only way for a lot of people like in so many areas of life I had a friend once who she was listening to someone else kind of like honestly bitch about
33:49.387 --> 34:15.025
[SPEAKER_02]: right like if that happens and she she she she shut it down she just was like I just don't really talk about other people yeah and and that other person was so intro so must have been I guess so used to other people just joining in with them on it and has never had someone present that there's like a higher road that you can take.
34:16.395 --> 34:23.482
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and that's that like awkward cringe moment is one of the only ways to get someone to truly self-reflect.
34:23.662 --> 34:25.964
[SPEAKER_02]: You have to make them feel cringy about themselves.
34:26.784 --> 34:32.990
[SPEAKER_02]: 100% yeah, it's like embrace their cringe and that's how people change behavior.
34:33.030 --> 34:36.613
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's a side tangent of my own that I brought into your episode.
34:37.471 --> 34:39.232
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I'm doing it.
34:39.312 --> 34:40.092
[SPEAKER_01]: I think you're either.
34:41.352 --> 34:42.113
[SPEAKER_01]: I just was in a great.
34:43.873 --> 34:44.553
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, great.
34:44.573 --> 34:46.634
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, thank you so much for joining us.
34:46.834 --> 34:49.155
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for sharing your story.
34:50.155 --> 34:52.576
[SPEAKER_02]: Abby will be so excited to hear your story.
34:52.596 --> 34:57.298
[SPEAKER_02]: And I hope that you have a great rest of your journey that you're pregnant soon.
34:57.318 --> 34:59.959
[SPEAKER_01]: And you must update us and let us know.
35:00.679 --> 35:24.302
[SPEAKER_01]: definitely well definitely well um we're still in a bit of kind of chaos as I said we're redoing like half of my house so yeah do that first and then you do it very well yeah exactly exactly no I mean I and and just as kind of the side note it's all like Abbey has been amazing for all of this so I'm massive credit her for where I am now yeah she's she's so great okay a lot
35:26.332 --> 35:28.478
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, thank you so we have a great rest of your day.
35:28.618 --> 35:32.208
[SPEAKER_02]: Everyone else, thank you for joining us and we'll see you guys next week for another episode.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Hey everyone, welcome back to the HA podcast.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I am joined today by Zoe.
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[SPEAKER_02]: This is exciting because she is a client of Abbey on our team.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And I actually think this might be the first interview I've done with anyone who was a direct client of Abbey's because she was a newer coach on our team who joined this year in 2026.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So Zoe, welcome to the show.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I'm excited to have you here.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Would you start off by telling everyone a bit about who you are, where you're from, how old you are, and then tell us where you believe that you're story with AJB games?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, cool, and I don't find it so.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm Zoe.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I actually live in the cultural from England, very lucky.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, and I am 33 now, just under 33, um, so, and I'm working as a physio as well.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So, hence the whole kind of healthcare stuff.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, but yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, so my story, my story is quite long one.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It began quite a while ago.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I would say.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, so I.
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[SPEAKER_01]: actually had quite a severe eating disorder.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Probably went back when I was like 24, started when I was 24, I'd moved to London, things like gray, started running with my then boyfriend.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Now has been, it was really good fun, but I was also working in like a really high pressure job at the time.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I think I kind of just hit a point where I couldn't control what I was doing at work so the easiest thing really for me to control was my weight and how I looked.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So that's kind of where it all began.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I then started going to the gym every single day morning and then running home in the evenings.
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[SPEAKER_01]: um, I was losing weight quite fast.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Everyone around me could see it, but I couldn't really know.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, yeah, there's nothing wrong.
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[SPEAKER_01]: This is fine.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm just, you know, I'm just being healthy.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I kind of down on my food.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I wasn't feeling for what I was doing at all.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And then yeah, ended up actually in hospital for quite a long time, um, about two and a half, three years.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I
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[SPEAKER_01]: At that point, I hadn't really focused on the fact that I'd lost my period, like that was a sideline, didn't really care.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I think I didn't really care about a lot of things at that point, but after I came out of hospital, I kind of was like, huh, this is weird because obviously I'd gained some weight back by that point and I was like, where's my period?
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[SPEAKER_01]: And actually, when did I lose it?
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[SPEAKER_01]: I hadn't even really kept a track of it at all.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, so I guess, yeah, at that point, I became a little bit concerned, but I went to the G.P.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, I'm like, if you were like, well, it's because you've had an eating disorder, you know, it's going to take a while to come back.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, at this point, I knew some of the people who had also had an eating disorder when I did who was like, yeah, I thought my very back is fine.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I never really fully recovered from kind of the exercise kind of side of things, so I was probably eating okay, still wasn't probably feeling enough for what I was doing, but I kind of just figured okay, well maybe it's just going to take me a little bit more time to get my favorite back roll on quite a few years after, got married, I wanted to start trying to children and,
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[SPEAKER_01]: was like, well, I still don't have my period.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know how we're going to do this.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So we kind of, I took some ovulation kits.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, yeah, there's definitely something going on because I'd get that little smiley face.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, hi, you're great.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We can start trying, but obviously nothing ever happened.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, this point again, started to get a little bit concerned.
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[SPEAKER_01]: went back to my GP.
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[SPEAKER_01]: They were like, they went to my ex-size at this point.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I was still running 10 kilometers a day and go to the gym in the evening and doing a hit class, and that was every single day.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I thought nothing was wrong with that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So went back to my GP.
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[SPEAKER_01]: He was like, that's great going all the way to the exercise.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Keep going with it just we can put you on the pill.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, obviously that didn't work.
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[SPEAKER_01]: and then came off the pill and still nothing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I had all of the investigations, I had ultrasounds.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I actually had an MRI of my head.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So, you found a cyst on my hide of thalamus.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But that was benign, so that was fine.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And then, the end of chronologist, I went to see that did the MRI was like, hey, have you heard of,
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[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, don't have a clear word that is.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So she taught me through it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And actually that was kind of a bit of a light bulb moment for me, because I was like, huh, maybe actually all of this exercise that I've been doing that people have said has been really good is actually not great at all.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, kind of went through that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: The only thing is she then said, well, just stop exercising.
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[SPEAKER_02]: You'll be fine.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm sure a lot of people have heard that as well, you know, just stop exercising and you'll be fine.
05:26.838 --> 05:32.241
[SPEAKER_01]: And it was fine, but it wasn't because I actually wasn't ready to give a sex.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I was in that point at all.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I thought I could try it on my own.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I thought I could kind of cut down a little bit.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I cut down from like 10 kilometres a day to eight.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And we're still doing everything else and still wasn't fueling for what I was doing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I went back to her the next year, and she was like, have you got your period back yet?
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, no, I don't know what's going on.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't know what was going on.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I was still doing too much and not eating enough.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And she kind of just reiterated that maybe actually just try and start cutting down more rather than just completely stopping all at once.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I tried that, and I'm the kind of person that's a bit all or nothing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So,
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[SPEAKER_01]: I can't just kind of cut down because I'll just start kind of exercising more again.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I guess I then found the H.O.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C
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[SPEAKER_01]: stop exercising and eat a little bit more and then I stopped exercising had a complete breakdown was like I can't do this on my own.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I managed to stay not exercising but that's kind of when I got in contact with you guys and was like I really think I need some more help with this and I need some
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, and then she actually put me in touch with Abbey, um, and actually, uh, the week before I was the place to meet her, I got my first period.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It happens like that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I emailed her and I was like, hey, by the way, I've got my period.
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[SPEAKER_01]: She was like, oh, that's really great.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You still need to come to me.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So I actually love that it's actually ideal.
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[SPEAKER_02]: My personal opinion is ideal because it's
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[SPEAKER_02]: Um, a lot of people do need help with getting the first period, but there's also a specific group of people who can get the first period, but there's a lot of unknown or overwhelmed about like, okay, well, how do we continue past this?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Because how I got this first cycle is an exactly how I want to continue living my life long term.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And that's actually where a lot of the guidance comes in.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So if someone is lucky enough to get their first period really early on during the intensive part of the coaching,
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[SPEAKER_02]: You can focus more on like, okay, well, how do we keep it and transition into our real life?
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[SPEAKER_02]: So that's cool.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Was that your immediate thought or were you just like, what did you mean?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Like, what did you first think when you got your cycle back, but you were about to start doing this with Abby?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Do you know what?
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[SPEAKER_01]: I was still like I definitely need some support because as you said it wasn't one, it wasn't the ideal cycle at all.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I think I had like a two-day video phase.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I don't know, but that's kind of what my temperatures were doing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And then I literally crashed out.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So like it was just not the ideal period.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Like for me, I was like, no, this is too much into heavy.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But
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[SPEAKER_01]: you know and now now I've learned more about it obviously a lot of people get that and you know that's that's fairly okay but I was like I don't want to continue like this you know and the fact that we were trying to get pregnant anyway
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[SPEAKER_01]: like, I was like, this is the deal face is not ideal anyway.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And also, my relationship with Food and Exercise was still crap.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It really was.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I guess that's where kind of the coaching really helped and like Abby was then absolutely great.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It was like, okay, well, where do we need to go from here?
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I guess kind of the coaching was where the real work began, I would say, because
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[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I was very lucky and I think I was on the brink of starting my cycle anyway before I cut out all exercise.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's just kind of the push my body needed.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But it was like two weeks after.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And as I said, like my relationship was still like, oh well, I can just stop exercise then.
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[SPEAKER_01]: My period of come back pretty quickly and actually then I can just.
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[SPEAKER_01]: go back to what I was doing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So that's kind of where my mindset still was and I think that's where you know even if you have had your first period like it's still so important that actually do the mental work as well because yeah you've got the physical side but and I think you know some people have it the other way around it and they were you know they're waiting a long time
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[SPEAKER_01]: for their first period, but actually they've done a lot of the mental work.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So, it kind of, I guess it happens as every combination for sure, is that okay?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Beautiful.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Well, okay, so I wanna know, I wanna know, what were the main things that needed to happen for you?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Like when you look back at, okay, probably the key things I needed to change were this and this.
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[SPEAKER_02]: This is usually just like some main things were the biggest change that you kind of have a hunch matted the most.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And then I want to know what you need to do to keep getting the cycle.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So the biggest thing for me was exercise actually like a hundred percent and that needed to come out that just needed to come out for a little bit like that was the easiest way I then didn't have any opportunity to kind of cheat essentially and be like oh well I could just
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[SPEAKER_01]: two K-brand rather than a 10 K-brand or like I could just go to the gym and maybe do like I found where I have a weight session or you know anything like that or like a hit session.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So that completely had to come out and you know I think Abby was in agreement that that was what needed to happen as well I needed to stay like that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I still want to leave some movement in so I kind of gave myself walking for like half an hour.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You know, and that was it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Pretty much.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, caveat.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I've got a horse as well.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So that keeps me pretty busy.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And how any language you are now.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, the client.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, that's got it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So, and I think I underestimate and probably still do to extent how much energy that takes as well.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And actually how it can be a little bit stressful sometimes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: um although I am very lucky.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah it was kind of thinking about how I could then maintain that and just as a as another thing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm I'm not
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[SPEAKER_01]: eight months on and I have added some exercise back in, but it is nowhere near why I was doing and I am feeling for it like crazy.
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[SPEAKER_02]: How do you feel about that?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so do you know what the hardest part for me was breakfast?
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I know that sounds really weird, but actually starting, I always would do some exercise before having breakfast.
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[SPEAKER_01]: both during the week and at weekends.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And actually it got to the point where I was just skipping breakfast all together.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I'd been going to earn that breakfast exactly by then eat after sleeping.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I know right.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But then I'd be so hungry at lunch that I would literally just eat everything inside like at a weekend.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, and actually that's so much better now.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And that's kind of how I've thought about it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, I'm no longer sitting down and just eating for like an hour because I was just so hungry.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, I feel better anyway, like my, my blood sugar's just feeling much more level.
13:24.581 --> 13:26.543
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not going like up and down like a yo yo.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, and I guess kind of for me.
13:30.634 --> 13:52.827
[SPEAKER_01]: It was partly to do with how I felt and the fact that I could just sit down and be like not think about food, you know, I could just sit down and relax and not think I'm really hungry or like I could just like eat like everything that's in the cupboard because I was so active and just not feeling so actually now I'm I'm pretty much fine with it.
13:53.692 --> 14:05.355
[SPEAKER_01]: I do have the occasional wobble still, I'm not perfect, you know, sometimes I, you know, because I have put on a fair bit of weight and you know, it's kind of now staying where it is.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But especially kind of in the early days, I'd look at myself and think, I, no, I can't put on any weight like this is it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going back like I'm going to kind of restrict again and
14:22.233 --> 14:33.702
[SPEAKER_01]: I guess when you're trying to get pregnant, actually, that overrides quite a lot of what you're thinking about anyway, because you were just like, I just, you know, I just want to get pregnant.
14:33.982 --> 14:49.013
[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, so that's yeah, that's kind of how I manage that and went off in a bit of a tangent there, but yeah, yeah, so yeah, I do feel in a much, much better place now, and I know kind of eight months
14:51.415 --> 14:59.126
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, and it is because on the eight months, things should typically start being like more stable.
15:00.548 --> 15:02.370
[SPEAKER_02]: You also have more historical data.
15:02.390 --> 15:06.015
[SPEAKER_02]: So you are more confident in what you're looking at, you're like, okay.
15:06.836 --> 15:27.976
[SPEAKER_02]: I made me missed a temperature here or here, you know, but I know what my cervical me because it looks like generally I know what ovulation looks like and feels like I know what my lydial phase is like and so you get more confidence in your ability to look at your cycle and see if it's what it's doing and then you know as well a bit better how to fix issues if you see them.
15:29.262 --> 15:54.623
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah and also my personal favorite because everyone has a lot more anxiety in the beginning of getting regular cycles because there's a lot of what if it's going to come but if it doesn't come but what but the more you get I mean at about like six seven eight cycles to a certain point now you know it's going to come so all of that starts to dissipate and go away and that's like
15:58.352 --> 16:03.914
[SPEAKER_02]: the beauty of just time and just letting yourself get through it.
16:04.834 --> 16:15.619
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, a hundred percent and I think that's really important actually what you said is you, I think when you first kind of start in recovery, you don't trust your body at all.
16:16.139 --> 16:18.200
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I did not trust my body.
16:18.860 --> 16:24.322
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, I'm just going to, you know, it's I'm not going to get any more cycles and I'm just going to keep on kind of
16:25.436 --> 16:42.467
[SPEAKER_01]: gaining a load of weight and feeling really horrible at myself and actually, you know, you get to a certain point and you're like, you, you kind of, you don't stop caring, but you're kind of like, do you know what actually just leave yourself alone and just let, let things be, and it'll, you know, sort of self out.
16:42.828 --> 16:46.990
[SPEAKER_01]: That's when is the last time that you just left left your sop online.
16:47.991 --> 16:48.411
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
16:48.831 --> 16:50.873
[SPEAKER_01]: And you know, it's, I mean,
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[SPEAKER_01]: Now I can, I can leave myself alone and be like, you know what?
16:54.340 --> 16:57.301
[SPEAKER_01]: Actually, like it's like last night, I had like four hours sleep.
16:57.361 --> 17:01.603
[SPEAKER_01]: So today, I mean, I've had work, but apart from that, I've been like, no.
17:02.423 --> 17:06.624
[SPEAKER_01]: Not where is I used to be like, oh my god, I have to go and do something every single day.
17:06.644 --> 17:07.845
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
17:08.065 --> 17:09.965
[SPEAKER_01]: Now it's like, I just go by how I feel.
17:10.786 --> 17:15.147
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's really nice, and it's such a kind of freeing feeling as well.
17:15.187 --> 17:17.328
[SPEAKER_01]: Not to have to, kind of,
17:17.661 --> 17:20.987
[SPEAKER_01]: feel like you have to go and do something for sure.
17:21.007 --> 17:28.980
[SPEAKER_02]: I had my daughter home, it's the summer holidays, so she's not at school, and I had her at home for the whole of the last few weeks.
17:29.665 --> 17:45.591
[SPEAKER_02]: And it was just really hard to go to the gym season 4 and very clingy and like your exhausted and I just couldn't like getting them out the door is so hard that you almost can't be bothered.
17:45.952 --> 17:49.753
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I just didn't go and that's fine.
17:50.333 --> 17:51.034
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, right.
17:51.434 --> 17:54.295
[SPEAKER_02]: Whereas once upon a time I would have probably lost my mind.
17:54.944 --> 17:55.764
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, exactly.
17:55.784 --> 17:58.865
[SPEAKER_01]: And you know, it's, it's, it is so nice.
17:59.105 --> 17:59.786
[SPEAKER_01]: Not to these in mind.
18:01.346 --> 18:04.527
[SPEAKER_02]: To be honest, like, That's what it's about.
18:04.567 --> 18:06.688
[SPEAKER_02]: And people, okay, I, yes, I love that.
18:07.188 --> 18:17.912
[SPEAKER_02]: Because we would get super anxious, very stressed, maybe even take things out on those around us, if we're not getting,
18:18.792 --> 18:34.040
[SPEAKER_02]: you know, our to-do list on, you know, our workout in or we over eight or someone through something unplanned into the mix for our day and and then when we go into recovery, there's a part of us.
18:34.100 --> 18:38.422
[SPEAKER_02]: It's also like that that anxiety is what's stopping us from
18:39.943 --> 18:42.885
[SPEAKER_02]: we're like making us feel fear of taking the actions that we need to take.
18:43.306 --> 18:48.830
[SPEAKER_02]: And we're almost afraid of losing our anxiety, like we're afraid of changing as a person.
18:49.251 --> 19:00.940
[SPEAKER_02]: We don't want to be relaxed about things because being relaxed about things means something about you that like you don't actually value in people, which is so strange.
19:01.461 --> 19:04.463
[SPEAKER_02]: But then you feel it and you're like, oh actually it's not bad.
19:05.224 --> 19:06.785
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't kind of value this now.
19:07.946 --> 19:10.407
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, don't knock it till you try it.
19:11.848 --> 19:18.670
[SPEAKER_01]: I used to think I'd never be the kind of person that could just sit down for an afternoon and watch Crap TV and not play it.
19:19.330 --> 19:24.152
[SPEAKER_01]: Or they might be, okay, we're having our living room done and we don't have a safer and I really, really miss it at the moment.
19:25.393 --> 19:35.476
[SPEAKER_02]: In that way, so much sense and to be fair to like, it's not all way, you know, sometimes sometimes you will still feel that way, like those old thoughts will pop up, but they're just
19:37.305 --> 19:55.031
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you're so right, sometimes they do, they, they do pop up definitely and you kind of, but rather than acting on them now, you kind of just going to go, oh yeah, there's that thought, I recognize that, I know that's not necessarily a great thought.
19:55.711 --> 19:57.552
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm just going to park it and we'll see why.
19:57.572 --> 20:04.414
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's another thing that the recovery process does for you is.
20:06.184 --> 20:14.551
[SPEAKER_02]: feel like the first time ever for a lot of us makes us try to reflect on our own thoughts from the outside objectively.
20:15.032 --> 20:16.533
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't think I ever did that.
20:16.593 --> 20:20.237
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't think I ever was like, that's an interesting thought.
20:20.257 --> 20:21.418
[SPEAKER_02]: What do I think about that thought?
20:21.458 --> 20:23.499
[SPEAKER_02]: Like everything was just true and a hundred percent real.
20:24.260 --> 20:25.702
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
20:25.722 --> 20:28.726
[SPEAKER_02]: And then it makes you do that for other areas of your life.
20:29.407 --> 20:30.989
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, must be massively.
20:31.029 --> 20:32.271
[SPEAKER_01]: I'd like, don't get me wrong.
20:32.291 --> 20:34.413
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I mean, and even things are like your job, right?
20:34.554 --> 20:35.595
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I love my job.
20:35.835 --> 20:36.236
[SPEAKER_01]: I do.
20:36.636 --> 20:36.736
[SPEAKER_01]: And
20:38.308 --> 20:42.211
[SPEAKER_01]: But sometimes you're like, is this really what I want to be doing for long term?
20:42.331 --> 20:44.132
[SPEAKER_01]: And you're like, oh, God, what's this doing to be now?
20:44.172 --> 20:46.034
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I can't be questioning my own career.
20:47.535 --> 20:50.938
[SPEAKER_02]: But like, you should, and you probably should every like five to ten years.
20:50.998 --> 20:52.018
[SPEAKER_02]: Just be like, check in.
20:52.219 --> 20:53.059
[SPEAKER_02]: Do I want to do this?
20:53.920 --> 20:54.520
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, okay.
20:55.261 --> 21:00.105
[SPEAKER_02]: And remembering to like not everything has a hundred percent upside.
21:00.585 --> 21:03.587
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, yeah, matter what you're going to do, uh,
21:06.624 --> 21:07.264
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I love it.
21:07.444 --> 21:08.804
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, amazing.
21:09.204 --> 21:10.585
[SPEAKER_02]: So you're on cycle eight now.
21:10.685 --> 21:13.805
[SPEAKER_02]: Now your goal going into recovery was pregnancy.
21:14.665 --> 21:15.806
[SPEAKER_02]: I sort of am your application.
21:15.846 --> 21:25.267
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know that for a fact, but maybe tell I didn't ask you so going in that was one of your goals and was that like, would you like to be pregnant by now but you're not like, what's the update?
21:26.047 --> 21:28.488
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I mean, I think, do you know what?
21:28.528 --> 21:32.168
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I kind of went in being like, right, and this again is going back to there.
21:32.588 --> 21:36.069
[SPEAKER_01]: I can go back to doing my old stuff as soon as I hit my goal, right?
21:36.809 --> 21:39.190
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, no, I haven't got pregnant yet, and do you know what?
21:39.330 --> 21:42.352
[SPEAKER_01]: That's okay, actually, because I've been working on other stuff.
21:42.532 --> 21:47.074
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been working on my mental side and actually, you know, yes, we're still trying.
21:47.255 --> 21:48.335
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's fine.
21:48.495 --> 21:59.021
[SPEAKER_01]: And you know, I mean, I have, I, this is a K to share with a podcast actually, but I have, I had a chemical pregnancy a couple of months ago, and do you know what that was okay, too?
21:59.121 --> 22:00.802
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it was a bit rubbish.
22:01.242 --> 22:03.063
[SPEAKER_01]: But, you know, I was like,
22:03.516 --> 22:04.397
[SPEAKER_01]: I can get pregnant.
22:04.817 --> 22:25.153
[SPEAKER_01]: I know I can get a man and actually, you know, it's a big, it's a big learning going through recovery and I think for me personally it's probably a good thing I didn't get pregnant straight away because I think I would have gone pregnant, had a child and then just gone straight back to where I was.
22:25.574 --> 22:28.476
[SPEAKER_01]: And actually that is not one, how I want to
22:32.943 --> 22:34.563
[SPEAKER_01]: And too, I needed the breathing space.
22:35.564 --> 22:36.744
[SPEAKER_01]: I did.
22:37.684 --> 22:45.766
[SPEAKER_01]: So, but yeah, we are still trying, and actually now I feel in a much better place to get pregnant than I did when I started.
22:46.526 --> 23:00.489
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so I love that a lot of people do get pregnant quickly, but they do have that exact challenge you brought up which is, so when we were talking earlier about like, okay, eight cycles and you more know what you're doing, what you're looking at, you know what,
23:02.967 --> 23:04.548
[SPEAKER_02]: eating patterns, etc.
23:04.668 --> 23:17.613
[SPEAKER_02]: move the needle more than others and you also have the benefit of making mistakes by the sounds of it, bringing in exercise when you shouldn't have delusional confidence about how easy those things will be to do.
23:17.633 --> 23:22.355
[SPEAKER_02]: The amount of learning that happens within only eight months when you think about it is huge.
23:23.309 --> 23:33.540
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh 100% yeah and people not not everyone has that and so they go through this pregnancy and now actually post-partum it's very common for everything to be different.
23:34.321 --> 23:36.043
[SPEAKER_02]: So what got you from H.A.
23:36.083 --> 23:40.948
[SPEAKER_02]: to ovulation the first time isn't necessarily what gets you from post-partum a
23:44.394 --> 24:02.076
[SPEAKER_02]: pregnancy and it's very it's almost 100% of the time that women who have a history of HA struggle like they don't get their period back whilst breastfeeding like many other women do and so there's a lot of unknown is it because breastfeeding is it because
24:02.698 --> 24:06.419
[SPEAKER_02]: you know, I have this AJ history is it because I'm actively in a chain.
24:06.439 --> 24:17.081
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't understand that I'm not eating enough and how has the impact of being pregnant so early on when I haven't fully replenished my mineral status through my body.
24:17.461 --> 24:20.801
[SPEAKER_02]: There's so many more questions for a lot of people.
24:21.841 --> 24:26.222
[SPEAKER_02]: And that makes it more difficult and we're getting more and more, I don't know why.
24:31.243 --> 24:36.507
[SPEAKER_02]: But as the years have gone, we do get many postpartum clients.
24:37.468 --> 24:40.791
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't really understand how that works, but that's how it's working.
24:41.531 --> 24:43.313
[SPEAKER_02]: And there is a difference.
24:43.513 --> 24:48.777
[SPEAKER_02]: There's a difference in their physiological and emotional state.
24:49.397 --> 24:49.618
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
24:49.998 --> 24:50.358
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
24:50.838 --> 24:52.620
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's something really important.
24:53.843 --> 25:05.886
[SPEAKER_01]: to be aware of as well, like when, you know, post-pastormous, he said, because I didn't know that until you kind of said, actually, I've seen a little bit in the kind of society conversations, but, you know, I wouldn't have had any idea.
25:06.286 --> 25:10.007
[SPEAKER_01]: So that, you know, it's really good to know as well.
25:10.127 --> 25:10.947
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
25:11.067 --> 25:19.049
[SPEAKER_01]: And just going back to this, I know you were talking about what moves the needle with what kind of what my temperatures are doing or kind of like population things.
25:19.109 --> 25:21.350
[SPEAKER_01]: And what I found is the past.
25:22.490 --> 25:31.558
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been away over the weekend and was really, I was really rubbish with my protein, like really rubbish.
25:32.298 --> 25:37.202
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I, to be fair, I didn't take my thermometer with me.
25:38.283 --> 25:43.527
[SPEAKER_01]: But I could kind of just tell and kind of when I've looked at them now, I'm like, ah, some of them have been quite low.
25:43.547 --> 25:50.393
[SPEAKER_01]: And actually, I feel like now I've started reintroducing some more protein, especially at breakfast.
25:51.747 --> 26:19.842
[SPEAKER_01]: Like they've started kind of creeping back up again a little bit so it's just things like that that you as you said like the more you are kind of in it and the more you're aware of your Sure and also kind of just how you feel as well, you know, the better you are moving that needle so you know what you need to do it's it's really just experience yeah right like we all start inexperienced with
26:20.855 --> 26:27.519
[SPEAKER_02]: having conversations with our body and interpreting charts and like we don't have any data at all.
26:28.179 --> 26:28.820
[SPEAKER_02]: So you're just like
26:30.273 --> 26:58.900
[SPEAKER_02]: And even we're starting with no data but we're telling you like, okay, well based on the data we have for every other woman that we know is doing what you're doing and trying to go where you're trying to go like he's what we need to do and then you just have more and more data all the time and yeah, you're seeing like, okay, when I take this away, this doesn't work when I put this back in it does or it works a little bit, you know, and I realize it needs a bit more, but yeah.
26:59.507 --> 26:59.987
[SPEAKER_02]: Interesting.
27:00.007 --> 27:02.808
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm getting stuck doing that.
27:03.608 --> 27:04.969
[SPEAKER_02]: So what does that mean?
27:05.009 --> 27:17.753
[SPEAKER_02]: And now you even unlock a new block or like another layer of fear or habit or mindset that you had that you didn't even know.
27:17.813 --> 27:21.594
[SPEAKER_02]: So like there's even layers of that right because you're saying breakfast was really hard for you.
27:22.534 --> 27:25.035
[SPEAKER_02]: And now breakfast is less hard for you.
27:26.160 --> 27:30.002
[SPEAKER_02]: but there might be times when it becomes hard again.
27:30.622 --> 27:30.782
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
27:30.802 --> 27:33.064
[SPEAKER_02]: And you're like, oh, why?
27:33.644 --> 27:34.945
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, no, exactly.
27:35.005 --> 27:38.326
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think it's going back to going away as well.
27:38.387 --> 27:43.149
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's, you know, when you're at home, you're like, right, I've got kind of, I know what I'm doing.
27:43.689 --> 27:44.650
[SPEAKER_01]: I know what things are.
27:45.130 --> 27:46.751
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I know where food is.
27:47.331 --> 27:52.234
[SPEAKER_01]: And when you go away, you're like, I don't know what I'm doing, but I know I do.
27:52.474 --> 27:53.855
[SPEAKER_01]: But you know, you kind of,
27:54.982 --> 27:56.483
[SPEAKER_01]: I think you get a bit more relaxed.
27:56.843 --> 28:04.846
[SPEAKER_01]: Which is great because obviously you're away from home and you might be a holiday or whatever, but I've kind of learned you kind of do silly to watch it.
28:06.326 --> 28:10.848
[SPEAKER_01]: Actually, you know, even eight months on, my body still is quite sensitive to changes.
28:11.869 --> 28:16.831
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it can only take a couple of days and it kind of just flips a little bit, not loads, but it will.
28:18.451 --> 28:22.513
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you just have to be a bit more aware still.
28:23.888 --> 28:25.650
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, exactly.
28:25.931 --> 28:33.239
[SPEAKER_02]: You always have to be keeping a pulse on it and that's all we encourage people to do right and don't be obsessive about it, but just always be keeping a pulse.
28:34.160 --> 28:39.866
[SPEAKER_02]: Like go on vacation, let it slip, have a non-perfect chart, no one really cares about that.
28:40.698 --> 28:44.422
[SPEAKER_02]: you know, like month or month, but know why it happened.
28:45.123 --> 28:46.124
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
28:46.544 --> 28:46.964
[SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.
28:47.285 --> 28:48.626
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, it's so good.
28:48.826 --> 28:49.187
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
28:49.667 --> 28:50.548
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, this was great.
28:50.628 --> 28:54.712
[SPEAKER_02]: I loved learning more about your story and I feel like it was really relatable.
28:54.732 --> 28:57.896
[SPEAKER_02]: I appreciate you coming on and
29:00.221 --> 29:11.727
[SPEAKER_02]: being so transparent about everything through the chemical pregnancy and you're not pregnant yet, but you see that you're probably where you're supposed to be.
29:12.327 --> 29:14.708
[SPEAKER_02]: For some reason, yeah, yes.
29:15.168 --> 29:17.129
[SPEAKER_02]: So encouraging for so many people.
29:18.170 --> 29:27.414
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, hopefully, I hope it is because, you know, I think there's a lot of pressure nowadays to get pregnant quickly, especially kind of,
29:27.862 --> 29:29.623
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, I found it kind of after you get married.
29:29.643 --> 29:46.750
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, people expect to be kind of okay, where's the baby, where's the baby and you're kind of like, well, three is down the line, but you know, you kind of just have to push that to the side a little bit and be like, well, what is actually best for me at this point to make them the best future for you know.
29:48.157 --> 29:53.598
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, that's the other lesson that HA will teach you is you really need to take a step back from what other people expect of you.
29:54.619 --> 29:54.979
[SPEAKER_02]: 100%.
29:55.059 --> 29:55.939
[SPEAKER_02]: 100%.
29:55.979 --> 29:56.259
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
29:56.999 --> 30:05.381
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, like I really realize you lived your whole life being like, okay, what does everyone else think about me and how do I control the narrative about it?
30:06.001 --> 30:06.381
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
30:06.741 --> 30:08.542
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's a massive thing as well.
30:09.162 --> 30:15.443
[SPEAKER_01]: They're kind of recovery teachers, you know, is, I mean, I think you do still turn an extent care what other people think
30:18.555 --> 30:20.596
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, it really does make up.
30:20.977 --> 30:24.519
[SPEAKER_01]: He's a massively care about kind of what people were thinking about me.
30:25.180 --> 30:30.523
[SPEAKER_01]: And like, I've had some patients be say to me and like, oh, you've been on weight.
30:30.563 --> 30:33.626
[SPEAKER_01]: Like literally, I had one patient said to me.
30:34.366 --> 30:36.548
[SPEAKER_01]: She was like, oh, well, I've lost weight.
30:36.588 --> 30:38.109
[SPEAKER_01]: So maybe I could take some of yours now.
30:38.489 --> 30:40.410
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, dude, seriously.
30:41.031 --> 30:41.811
[SPEAKER_01]: What is your problem?
30:42.432 --> 30:43.032
[SPEAKER_01]: My problem.
30:43.693 --> 30:45.714
[SPEAKER_01]: But, and that would have really upset me,
30:48.848 --> 30:50.048
[SPEAKER_01]: That is kind of your problem.
30:51.049 --> 31:01.412
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, you're so tied up in how you look that you're so like if someone says that it means that it's on there it's top of mind for them.
31:01.792 --> 31:02.073
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
31:02.493 --> 31:03.393
[SPEAKER_02]: Which is so sad.
31:03.413 --> 31:07.614
[SPEAKER_02]: 100% I don't also be petty enough to be like well.
31:09.595 --> 31:10.715
[SPEAKER_02]: Your nose is big.
31:12.016 --> 31:13.056
[SPEAKER_00]: It's really.
31:14.097 --> 31:15.797
[SPEAKER_02]: Just like some arbitrary facts.
31:15.817 --> 31:15.997
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
31:18.973 --> 31:26.897
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I probably would be fine if I said that, but, you know, you do, you kind of adjust like, well, yeah, that says more about you than it says about me.
31:27.257 --> 31:27.557
[SPEAKER_01]: So.
31:28.638 --> 31:42.925
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's the same with compliments to, like, if someone might say something, because that comes up a lot in our society community calls, a common thing of like, I'm having a hard time because people are saying this about me, and a lot of women with H.A.
31:42.965 --> 31:43.105
[SPEAKER_02]: work
31:47.327 --> 31:48.528
[SPEAKER_02]: comment on their body all the time.
31:49.268 --> 31:54.492
[SPEAKER_02]: It's wild, like it's so strange that anyone would do that, but they do.
31:54.512 --> 31:55.413
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
31:55.733 --> 31:58.615
[SPEAKER_02]: And we're more used to people commenting positive things.
32:00.122 --> 32:09.167
[SPEAKER_02]: But I'm now so aware of just comments at all that I once had someone just like a little bit around two years ago.
32:09.928 --> 32:15.191
[SPEAKER_02]: She was always very up and down with her way due to various reasons.
32:16.851 --> 32:19.173
[SPEAKER_02]: And she hadn't seen me in a long time.
32:19.813 --> 32:24.995
[SPEAKER_02]: And she mentioned, you know, because I had lost a lot of my recurrent initial recovery weight.
32:25.175 --> 32:27.056
[SPEAKER_02]: And so she hadn't seen, hadn't seen me.
32:27.656 --> 32:29.837
[SPEAKER_02]: And she was like, you look great.
32:29.857 --> 32:36.079
[SPEAKER_02]: It looks like something about like, I must be working out or whatever, which is like, it was actually not true.
32:36.619 --> 32:46.562
[SPEAKER_02]: And I, um, I turned to her and I said, actually, um, this is, this is more from extreme anxiety and stress.
32:47.343 --> 32:47.563
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
32:50.228 --> 33:02.274
[SPEAKER_02]: And you're so frown, we're listening, you know, because I'll post sometimes my recovery weight gain, but it'll look different now and you're a fair bit of that was from stress and anxiety and it's a not a good thing.
33:02.294 --> 33:04.275
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just like a not a good thing.
33:04.495 --> 33:16.621
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I think it's important to tell people the truth so that they start learning to like shut up instead of saying thank you.
33:18.802 --> 33:46.444
[SPEAKER_02]: 100% yeah and I think like to your point as well like why are we commenting on people's bodies like what you simply must know let me make you feel really uncomfortable so then you stop and think because that's the only way for a lot of people like in so many areas of life I had a friend once who she was listening to someone else kind of like honestly bitch about
33:49.387 --> 34:15.025
[SPEAKER_02]: right like if that happens and she she she she shut it down she just was like I just don't really talk about other people yeah and and that other person was so intro so must have been I guess so used to other people just joining in with them on it and has never had someone present that there's like a higher road that you can take.
34:16.395 --> 34:23.482
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and that's that like awkward cringe moment is one of the only ways to get someone to truly self-reflect.
34:23.662 --> 34:25.964
[SPEAKER_02]: You have to make them feel cringy about themselves.
34:26.784 --> 34:32.990
[SPEAKER_02]: 100% yeah, it's like embrace their cringe and that's how people change behavior.
34:33.030 --> 34:36.613
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's a side tangent of my own that I brought into your episode.
34:37.471 --> 34:39.232
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I'm doing it.
34:39.312 --> 34:40.092
[SPEAKER_01]: I think you're either.
34:41.352 --> 34:42.113
[SPEAKER_01]: I just was in a great.
34:43.873 --> 34:44.553
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, great.
34:44.573 --> 34:46.634
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, thank you so much for joining us.
34:46.834 --> 34:49.155
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for sharing your story.
34:50.155 --> 34:52.576
[SPEAKER_02]: Abby will be so excited to hear your story.
34:52.596 --> 34:57.298
[SPEAKER_02]: And I hope that you have a great rest of your journey that you're pregnant soon.
34:57.318 --> 34:59.959
[SPEAKER_01]: And you must update us and let us know.
35:00.679 --> 35:24.302
[SPEAKER_01]: definitely well definitely well um we're still in a bit of kind of chaos as I said we're redoing like half of my house so yeah do that first and then you do it very well yeah exactly exactly no I mean I and and just as kind of the side note it's all like Abbey has been amazing for all of this so I'm massive credit her for where I am now yeah she's she's so great okay a lot
35:26.332 --> 35:28.478
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, thank you so we have a great rest of your day.
35:28.618 --> 35:32.208
[SPEAKER_02]: Everyone else, thank you for joining us and we'll see you guys next week for another episode.
