Networking Tips for Introverts + Leadership Presence | Samantha Irwin | Grit & Grace #14

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I am here with a new friend of mine, Samantha Irwin.
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And uh I we we are actually talking right now about what we drink in the morning and coffee shops.
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So just join us in on this conversation, and then we're gonna go somewhere.
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So stick with us.
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So okay, back to what we were saying.
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So we're talking about coffee shops, drinks.
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You have your mug there, and we are talking all about um how you don't really like coffee, but you like to go to the coffee shop and to kind of fit in, you want to just order something.
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Yes.
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I'm not a wine.
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I think I'm not, you know, it's all these grown-up, quote unquote grown-up things.
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And but I like the experience.
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I like the shared experience of a coffee shop.
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You get this special thing made for you.
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It's warm.
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And and quite frankly, do you drink coffee, Dana?
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Do you like it?
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I do, but uh what's funny, and I go to coffee shops all the time to meet people.
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I am like coffee is made for morning.
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I drink it only in the morning, and then when I go to the coffee shop, I do tea.
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Oh, there you go.
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Yeah.
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Well, this is my impression of you and every other person who loves their morning coffee.
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It is in morning, it's like it's like oh, I needed you.
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It doesn't wake me up.
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It's just, I love the taste.
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I've been drinking coffee since I was a kid, and it's just part of my own routine.
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I quit for a year because I noticed I really get cranky, and it's it was just a mindset.
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It wasn't like I felt, I don't feel any different when I drink it, but oh, it just it's like warming.
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It's a ritual, yeah.
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It it is a ritual, yeah.
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Yep, but I have expanded to tease.
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I think you have the personality because we you were saying you just you get the steamers like without coffee.
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Well, I don't want to get a steamer because it it or at a winery or whatnot.
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It just if I this is dumb a little bit, I'm working on getting over it, but I want the pretty thing that's made for me, and it's all foamy and and it has a you know, like a picture on the top, and and I want this like, oh yeah, my nose is so delicious.
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Like my friends who love their coffees and my husband do.
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And yeah, but we were talking earlier before you pushed record.
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I I I'm trying, I'm doing mud water in the morning.
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It's M U D slash W T R and it's an alternative.
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Um, it's just for clarity and all the oh, there's a bunch of things people can look it up.
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But I don't know, my shipment's out.
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So I did do a tiny shot in this pistachio milk honey thing, but I don't like the taste of coffee.
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So why if I'm like this normal?
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I haven't had any coffee.
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I've had two sips of this.
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I'm like this normally.
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People might be thinking, well, why would you even put coffee in there or a shot if you don't like it?
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Well, the reason, the answer is if I were to go to a coffee shop and say, order a mocha, say a 12-ounce mocha with one shot and oat milk or whatever, if it's not with coffee, it's basically a steamer, which is hot chocolate, which is what an eight-year-old would get.
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So I don't know why I'm so embarrassed when I go.
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I feel like I still I like, what is this?
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Where is this coming from?
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I can, I'm a grown-up woman.
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If I just the next time I go, I'm going to order an eight-ounce, let's see, what no, 12 ounce.
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I think you should just say, can I just have the cup?
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Yeah, just take a cup and just hold it like this and see if you get a reaction from anybody.
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I'm gonna, I'm going to say I would like an eight-ounce uh oat milk mocha with no coffee.
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Try it.
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I just I want to know the reaction.
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Just and then just when they say something, just go, I'm just waiting to see what your reaction is.
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That's all.
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It's basically that's a hot chocolate.
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But what about a tea?
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You know, do you not like tea?
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I'm not a huge tea drinker either.
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I have two, maybe two kinds, three kinds that I like.
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Okay.
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Then what's your drink of choice when you have to just water?
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Yeah.
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I started drinking um kombucha.
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So when I go to some of these coffee houses, especially where we live, yeah, it's kind of popular.
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Oh, kombucha's.
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I'll drink a kombucha.
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Yep, that's fine too.
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Every once in a while, a mixed drink.
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If I can't really taste the alcohol, basically, then that's sugar.
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So what am I doing?
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Anyway, that's quite a dive about my drinking lack of drinking repertoire.
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I've always, I have always uh I see those ads for mud water.
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My mom, every once in a while, she'll do like the mushroom coffee.
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Yeah, like rice.
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Um not that brand, she does other brands, but similar.
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Um kind of tastes like coffee until you start drinking it.
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And then I'm like, not my choice.
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She she does like it, she could drink it.
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But I always wondered what that mud water tasted like.
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I'm just curious, and I'm half afraid to try it because I am so what I would say is picky.
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So well, there's what I really loved about, which is a great example for businesses.
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What I loved about the mud water videos that I saw years ago, now they're very fancy, they've grown, right?
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But at the beginning it was very raw, just here's what it is.
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And they definitely um in the videos would talk about this is these are the the the benefits of it, you know.
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What what we want as a customer or a um a client, we are looking for the results.
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I don't really care that, you know, this um let's see, I don't really care that the hydrofacial has this elixir, blah, blah, blah, that you're putting in my skin.
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I I don't know, it's not my thing.
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That's your thing.
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Tell me what the results are.
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The results are what are going to get me in there.
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It's like, oh, plump your skin or find our, you know, moisture, whatever, whatever.
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All those results.
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I got get rid of the fine wrinkles and fine lines and healthy skin and helps with eczema or whatever and breaking out.
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So the same thing.
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So they would start their videos and they, of course, talk about the the benefits or the the results people want, getting off of coffee, but still want some good things for your body.
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So I don't know, go to the website.
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I don't know what they all are.
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But they also addressed that there's sludge in there.
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Sludge is not the right word.
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That's terrible.
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If they see this, they'll go, it's it, it doesn't allow it.
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Thanks, Samantha.
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I'm such a right, I'm gonna be their next spokesperson.
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There's like it settles, and that's normal, and that stuff is good.
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So you just kind of keep um mixing it.
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But I love that they addressed it right away.
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So as a consumer, if you're thinking, oh, I want these results, but then you get it and you try it and it's all sinking to the bottom, and you're going, What?
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No, no, it's just this is part of that experience.
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So I loved that at the beginning when they were doing their less fancy, you know, marketing.
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There's lots of different ways that people prepare their mud water hot, cold, whatnot.
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What I like is um, I get a little hot water, I put it in, I put like, I don't know, I don't measure very much, less than a tablespoon, maybe three quarters of a tablespoon of the mud water in there, and then I grab maybe a teaspoon plus of cocoa, really good cocoa, put it in there, and then I just get a little honey on my my spoon, put it in there, stir it, let it all dissolve, and then I pour some um pistachio milk in there.
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Okay, and because it's sweet on its own, so I really don't need much honey at all.
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It's like a maybe a teaspoon plus, and then I like it with ice, so then I put ice in it and it kind of tastes to me like chocolate milk-ish.
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Okay, yeah, yeah, but I would not ever think of someone taking whole milk in chocolate milk and doing it side by side.
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You'll think it's you'll be like, that is now.
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I don't drink milk, so I don't have that on my taste by the compare.
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But for me, that's what it tastes like.
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I like it.
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Yeah, I like it better.
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So I'm curious because I've not tried pistachio milk.
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I've tried oat milk, almond milk, uh hemp.
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Why pistachio?
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Like, what's tell me, is that similar to one of those other ones?
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I just tried a bunch of different ones, and this one it's pretty sweet on its own.
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So if I wanted actually to have a steamer with just that, um, maybe I might put some cardamom in it and a little honey or not, but I don't really need much honey in it, if any.
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It's just seems naturally sweet.
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So I've done almond and and um hemp and oat and coconut, but I don't I tried pistachio sort of when it was on sale one time, and I love how sweet and creamy it is.
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So okay.
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Nutty, like it's one thing I don't like about those milks is they just don't get as creamy.
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I'm like, oh, and I don't really drink milk anyway, so yeah.
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Um but yeah, so I'm always interested in hearing other people's perspective on the on those milks.
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Um the other thing, and do you not drink milk because it's a because of an allergy or intolerance or something?
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Yeah.
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Because you the one of the things that um I was gonna say about you is you're a fantastic baker.
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But the the things that you bring in.
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So we're in a matter, for those of you who just are joining us, we're in a mastermind together.
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And Samantha's known to bring in some really good sweets, and you can't, if you never told our group, hey, these are gluten-free for the people who need to know they're gluten-free, you would never know.
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And still to this day, most things that are gluten-free, they just taste awful.
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They're nasty.
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You can't tell with yours, and it's really trouble because I probably ate five of your cookies the first time I met you, and it was like, this is terrible if she does this every week.
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Yeah, I like to bake, I like to cook on occasion.
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It sort of ebbs and flows, but then I, you know, it's just my husband and I.
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And so it's a great way to share with people just to get it out, like those peanut butter cookies that you like.
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They're um you know, sharing with my mom's caregivers, or I put some on the uh top of the the for the guys who come and get the compost and the garbage.
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So I put it on there, and he caught me one day, he's like, Oh, you're making me fat, which was hilarious.
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Because, you know, it's just a kindness of people who have just a kindness for connection and community.
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Sometimes I'll put them in the mailbox.
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Um, I've been known to take after a workshop, um, you know, where I have Hershey's kisses, I'll put them in my pocket because I may have extras.
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I'll put them in my pocket, and then I went to the bank and on a Friday night, it was packed.
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And people on a Friday, when they walk into a bank and they're in line, I was like, what this feels like we're I don't, something very sad.
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It was just everybody seemed kind of like grouchy, and I thought, well, this isn't going to do all and we need to cheer people up.
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So I turned around to this dude behind me.
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He was um some guy, and I had these handful.
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I just had some Hershey's kisses, or not kisses, but nuggets in there.
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And I said, Do you want some chocolate?
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And he's like, Yeah.
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He picked one, and then somebody else picked one, and I did it to the guy in front of me.
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And what was hilarious, Dina?
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This gentleman in front of me was older, and he apparently took it as an invitation to turn around and start a whole conversation.
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And I thought, okay, I wasn't expecting that, but that's okay.
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And you know, then sliding him to the the tellers, and it's it was just a fun way to sort of spread a little joy, and people were in a lighter mood and kind of happy.
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I mean, who doesn't like free chocolate from a stranger that doesn't look like they're poisoning you?
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Yeah, uh, I love chocolate.
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I I think it's brings joy, in my opinion.
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Um there you go.
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So I'm not a I don't really that's my vice.
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Sugars, chocolate, dark chocolate.
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Not cotton.
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Oh, I love dark chocolate.
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Dark chocolate.
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Not milk.
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Milk to I can't do milk chocolate.
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It like as a kid, I did, can't do it.
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Um, but I you know, after listening to it's like, I think I have to put some chocolates in my pocket when I have to go networking.
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Yeah.
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Fun.
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Because the introvert in me is just like, I don't know if I want to talk to people, but if I go, you want a piece of chocolate, it might actually just make that a whole lot easier.
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So are you open to um something that I use for networking?
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Absolutely, make it easier for me.
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So I owned and first of all, thank you for having me on.
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And I love being in that the mastermind with you.
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It's it's very fun, it's challenging and stretching.
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So thank you.
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And thank you for having me on the podcast.
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Um, so when I I had a boutique hotel, we'll get into this later.
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Um, when people would come, I loved hosting events, I loved making curating the space, the experience, making them feel welcomed, all that jazz.
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And it's interesting that, and I speak on stage, love that, love that.
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But going into a networking event where I'm the new person, I don't really like it.
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I don't like it at all.
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Yes, yeah.
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So I'm in a group called the Sales Maven Society with Nikki Roush, and she is a master communicator.
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She has a background, really successful background in sales and NLP, neurolinguistic programming.
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And she teaches very um integrity forward relationship building sales and communication, communication sales, not manipulative.
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She's written some books.
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I just I can't speak highly enough about her.
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But one of the things that I learned from her in being in this group, she doesn't, she's introverted as well.
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I like a small conversation and deep dive.
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Let's go into the deep end right away.
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But when you're at a networking event, right, the purpose is to network, otherwise, I should stay home.
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So she has this.
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Um, there were two things.
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First of them was my mindset shift.
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I thought I love to host, but why I don't like to go in blind to a place.
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So I just mindset shifted to myself and I go in and I pretend like it's my event and it's my job to make people feel welcomed.
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That helped me so much.
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I just pretended like there's other people here, they need to feel welcomed.
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Let me just pretend like I'm the hostess.
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And I did that at uh chamber networking event here.
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The woman I went up to, her name is Danielle.
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She owned a wine, owns a wine bar, and she looked like a boss.
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I mean, she was put together.
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I was actually a little intimidated coming going up to her.
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And she, we have a relationship.
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Now she told me later, she said, I was so nervous.
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I nobody was talking to me, I didn't know what to do, and I was so grateful you came up to me.
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It was another reinforcement of how my perception of people is can be false, right?
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I was thinking she had it all together, she was comfortable.
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No, so that was the first thing is I pretend like it's my event.
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And from Nikki Roush, the salesmaven, um she has this three, two, one rule.
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So I hope I get this right.
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No matter the size of the event, meet three new people, deepen relationships with two people, and then come away with one appointment.
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It might be the other way around for deepen relationship with a three, meet two and come away with one, but the way I think of it is meet three new deepen with two relationships and then come away with one appointment right there.
00:16:14.399 --> 00:16:17.039
She teaches Nicky teaches about buying signals.
00:16:17.120 --> 00:16:22.080
So I'm it's it's kind of fun to hear ask questions, create curiosity.
00:16:22.240 --> 00:16:23.039
She teaches all that.
00:16:23.200 --> 00:16:27.120
So if that's helpful to you, it's super helpful.
00:16:27.279 --> 00:16:31.440
Well, here's um you said exactly how I feel.
00:16:31.600 --> 00:16:43.360
When I am, whether I'm part of leadership of the organization or it's my home or volunteer, whatever, when I'm the one inviting people in, I it's one of my strong suits.
00:16:43.440 --> 00:16:45.600
It's I don't like people to be stragglers.
00:16:45.679 --> 00:16:47.039
I I will pull people in.
00:16:47.840 --> 00:16:50.799
And I pick them out really quick because I I see myself.
00:16:50.960 --> 00:16:56.320
Like I'm I would easily, I know you don't want to talk, but you're I know you're probably a deep well.
00:16:56.480 --> 00:16:59.120
Like, I'll pull you in since you won't pull you in.
00:16:59.200 --> 00:17:00.240
Yeah, I can do that.
00:17:00.399 --> 00:17:07.680
But when I'm on the flip side, I'll even say to my husband, I used to say to him years ago, he would have to go to some networking and bed to say, You want to come with me?
00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:08.799
Because I could take my spouse.
00:17:08.880 --> 00:17:10.720
I'm like, nope, have fun.
00:17:11.200 --> 00:17:11.920
Not going.
00:17:12.079 --> 00:17:13.200
And he's like, Oh, come on.
00:17:13.359 --> 00:17:16.319
I'm like, no, because then I just sit there, I don't know what to say.
00:17:16.480 --> 00:17:21.920
And it something happens when you're the one in the room who who enters having to network.
00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:24.640
It's another when you're the one having to make people feel comfortable.
00:17:24.799 --> 00:17:29.759
So I do like that mindset of just you could still just make people in the room feel comfortable.
00:17:29.839 --> 00:17:30.480
So thank you for that.
00:17:30.720 --> 00:17:31.200
You're welcome.
00:17:31.359 --> 00:17:36.480
Yeah, and I like hopefully every introvert who hates networking will enjoy that one.
00:17:36.640 --> 00:17:37.359
I hope so.
00:17:37.519 --> 00:17:43.519
It and it's nice because it doesn't scale with the number of people you're in the room with.
00:17:43.680 --> 00:17:47.759
So she just uses it, whether it's 12 or 300.
00:17:48.400 --> 00:17:49.119
321.
00:17:49.920 --> 00:17:51.440
Man, does that take the pressure off?
00:17:51.680 --> 00:17:52.319
Great.
00:17:52.720 --> 00:17:53.599
Yeah, yeah.
00:17:53.839 --> 00:17:54.400
I like that.
00:17:54.480 --> 00:17:54.799
Thank you.
00:17:54.960 --> 00:17:56.000
Yeah, you're welcome.
00:17:56.319 --> 00:17:59.759
Yeah, now before you said, because this is the very thing I want to talk about.
00:17:59.839 --> 00:18:02.640
So it's it we're recording today and it's MLK Junior Day.
00:18:02.720 --> 00:18:02.880
Yeah.
00:18:03.039 --> 00:18:06.720
So for everybody, happy MLK Junior Day.
00:18:06.799 --> 00:18:08.079
I hope you're enjoying it.
00:18:08.240 --> 00:18:11.200
Um, I he's somebody I respect highly.
00:18:11.359 --> 00:18:14.400
I too has a dream, you know, he's known for I have a dream.
00:18:14.559 --> 00:18:17.039
Um, I too have my own dream.
00:18:17.279 --> 00:18:21.920
Just getting to know you and your story of just your heart for people, what you've done.
00:18:22.079 --> 00:18:22.960
I know you have a dream.
00:18:23.039 --> 00:18:24.079
We all dream about something.
00:18:24.240 --> 00:18:31.440
And so I kind of want to go there today, in particular because what I've learned about you, fascinating.
00:18:31.519 --> 00:18:39.200
Well, let me just say, you know, we say to me, when you get to know the personalities, and I'll just speak for the women that are in the mastermind with us.
00:18:39.279 --> 00:18:40.799
I think there's 11 of us.
00:18:41.920 --> 00:18:44.720
I would call you the you you are the energy.
00:18:44.880 --> 00:18:51.920
You know, some uh Jackie, who's also in there, I mean, she is she's the hands of the community for sure that that we're in here in sale.
00:18:52.079 --> 00:18:52.880
She's the hands.
00:18:53.039 --> 00:18:56.000
Everything she speaks about is she literally is the hands of our community.
00:18:56.240 --> 00:18:59.200
I think you are in when you walk in the room, there's energy.
00:18:59.279 --> 00:19:05.039
And it's one of those you just want to be around you because you have you just have a vibrant energy about you.
00:19:05.200 --> 00:19:12.319
I mean, I know we all carry energy, your energy is very um high, you're energetic, you're full of life.
00:19:12.400 --> 00:19:14.000
When you look in your eyes, you're full of life.
00:19:14.160 --> 00:19:15.200
Um, I love that.
00:19:15.279 --> 00:19:17.200
It makes people want to be around you.
00:19:17.599 --> 00:19:18.400
Thank you.
00:19:18.640 --> 00:19:20.400
I yeah, cannot tell you.
00:19:20.640 --> 00:19:22.160
I'm a little choked up.
00:19:22.319 --> 00:19:30.799
I cannot tell it's hard to explain how much I appreciate that feedback because I am the way I am, so I don't notice it.
00:19:30.960 --> 00:19:34.559
I just, you know, I've got my own insecurities just like everybody else.
00:19:34.720 --> 00:19:35.759
So that thank you.
00:19:35.920 --> 00:19:37.039
That means a lot to me.
00:19:37.200 --> 00:19:42.319
I I appreciate it, especially coming in that particular mastermind where you all know each other.
00:19:42.480 --> 00:19:43.279
You're all insane.
00:19:43.680 --> 00:19:45.680
I didn't, well, but I didn't know.
00:19:45.759 --> 00:19:47.839
I I knew I only knew a cut.
00:19:47.920 --> 00:19:54.319
I mean, I knew Jackie, I met Lucy once, okay, and I knew uh I met with Victoria a couple times.
00:19:54.400 --> 00:19:56.960
That that's the extent I really didn't like no no.
00:19:57.119 --> 00:20:03.039
Jackie, I like immediately bonded with, but I didn't really know anybody either, and I don't really see them unless I go to an event.
00:20:03.119 --> 00:20:05.599
Obviously, I don't see them outside of there too much.
00:20:05.920 --> 00:20:08.880
Um, but I love your energy.
00:20:09.279 --> 00:20:11.359
You have a face that's always smiling.
00:20:11.519 --> 00:20:15.039
I bet you when nobody's even around, you're smile, you're one of these people.
00:20:15.440 --> 00:20:17.759
And I I do love that and I value that.
00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:31.039
Matter of fact, I was just on a so my husband and I do a lot of marriage coaching, and we were on um a call with another couple who were were coaching, and they he brought up how he's working on smiling all the time.
00:20:32.000 --> 00:20:43.920
And so we got talking, and I just said, Yeah, I've had more conversations with people who would I've had guys try to pick me up like years ago, prior to my husband, that would say you'd be more beautiful if you would smile.
00:20:44.319 --> 00:20:44.960
Just smile.
00:20:45.039 --> 00:20:48.480
You have such a right, but I sit, but I've been hearing this my whole life.
00:20:48.640 --> 00:20:51.519
My my face is not like you're it is more serious.
00:20:51.759 --> 00:20:54.799
Even if I'm in a good mood, my kids will even say to me, Are you okay?
00:20:55.039 --> 00:20:56.000
Everything, anything wrong?
00:20:56.160 --> 00:20:57.440
My husband would go, Are we good?
00:20:57.599 --> 00:20:58.960
I'm like, Yeah, we're fine.
00:20:59.039 --> 00:21:00.160
He's like, Okay, can't tell.
00:21:00.319 --> 00:21:01.839
My face just always looks serious.
00:21:02.000 --> 00:21:06.400
I have that face that looks angry, but I'm often not, so I don't know how to match it.
00:21:06.480 --> 00:21:09.279
Yours matches your energy, and I love that about you.
00:21:09.680 --> 00:21:10.079
Thank you.
00:21:10.240 --> 00:21:11.920
And it draws people to you.
00:21:12.079 --> 00:21:12.799
Oh, thank you.
00:21:13.119 --> 00:21:16.559
This one couple said to me, He's like, Dan, maybe you should work on your smile too.
00:21:16.960 --> 00:21:18.880
And I said, I'm also in my fifty.
00:21:19.200 --> 00:21:24.799
Well, no, he was it was more like it was genuine, it was very casual, friend-to-friend like.
00:21:25.200 --> 00:21:27.920
And I said to him, as I would in balance, thanks.
00:21:28.000 --> 00:21:31.039
I really know that's probably something I could I could work on, but not for nothing.
00:21:31.200 --> 00:21:35.759
I'm in my 50s, and I have the the confidence to go, I just don't care.
00:21:36.079 --> 00:21:37.039
Good for you.
00:21:37.200 --> 00:21:38.319
That I don't care.
00:21:38.480 --> 00:21:41.759
Oh, I can acknowledge I I can grow there.
00:21:41.920 --> 00:21:44.799
I have I said to him, I have way too many other things that I'm working on.
00:21:44.960 --> 00:21:46.720
At some point, maybe I'll do that, but for now.
00:21:46.880 --> 00:21:47.680
Yeah, I'm not gonna.
00:21:48.000 --> 00:21:49.839
I I loathe that.
00:21:50.079 --> 00:21:53.119
I loathe that statement.
00:21:53.359 --> 00:21:57.920
It is it is loaded with so much crap that we can unpack.
00:21:58.000 --> 00:21:59.759
Like you'd be prettier if you're smiled if you.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:05.279
Smiled more that oh my god, why are we placing the value of women on how they look?
00:22:05.519 --> 00:22:07.680
That is not how we are created.
00:22:07.839 --> 00:22:13.839
It doesn't matter if we're our value is not related to our worth or wait, our looks.
00:22:14.000 --> 00:22:18.079
Our value is not related or contingent upon how we look.
00:22:18.319 --> 00:22:27.839
That sets us up for trying to please other people all the time, not stepping into our God-given gifts of leadership or thinking or whatever it is.
00:22:28.400 --> 00:22:30.000
Do we say that to men?
00:22:30.240 --> 00:22:30.480
No.
00:22:30.720 --> 00:22:32.880
Then, oh my gosh, please, let's just stop.
00:22:32.960 --> 00:22:36.880
So I want to tell you, you're beautiful, freaking beautiful, Dana, the way you are.
00:22:37.039 --> 00:22:40.319
Smiling or not, you're perfect the way you are.
00:22:40.640 --> 00:22:52.640
Use that serious face for your advantage because there's way too many people of the other gender, and sometimes women, that see smiling.
00:22:52.799 --> 00:22:56.880
I mean, I can be on the opposite side of that, where people don't always take me seriously.
00:22:57.039 --> 00:23:13.920
I have to work on not and my from Nikki Roch, like my my uh, what do you call them, those nonverbal cues for the times when I want people to really weigh my words or take them very seriously?
00:23:14.079 --> 00:23:16.160
And it does not always include a smile.
00:23:16.319 --> 00:23:20.960
So I'm here to tell you, you can just let that guy he needs to smile more.
00:23:21.039 --> 00:23:24.559
I mean, what the plank in his eye and this, what is that from the Bible?
00:23:24.720 --> 00:23:29.680
The plank stick thing, like, oh so I'm sorry that he said that to you.
00:23:29.839 --> 00:23:33.279
Um, and for all the women listening, you don't need to smile more.
00:23:33.519 --> 00:23:40.720
Now, I teach frontline customer service staff how to make people feel welcomed.
00:23:41.039 --> 00:23:44.480
And that is part of the trifecta.
00:23:45.440 --> 00:23:50.480
It is different than saying you need to smile more or you'd be prettier if you smiled.
00:23:50.640 --> 00:23:51.119
Ugh.
00:23:51.279 --> 00:23:56.000
No, making people feel welcome is both verbal and non-verbal.
00:23:56.160 --> 00:23:59.680
So, for example, this is are you okay with I just dive in to do?
00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:01.920
No, yeah, let's just let it go.
00:24:02.160 --> 00:24:17.680
So if I am front-facing customer service staff, it is my job, just like we were talking about as being a hostess, that it's my job or your job as a hostess or host to make people feel welcome.
00:24:17.759 --> 00:24:20.079
So there's some nonverbal ways we can do that.
00:24:20.240 --> 00:24:21.920
One is eye contact.
00:24:22.079 --> 00:24:34.480
Like if you come in and I, if you come into my um home and I'm doing this on my phone, or you come into the mastermind, I'm on this, I'm like, hey, do you feel very welcomed?
00:24:34.799 --> 00:24:36.000
No, you don't.
00:24:36.160 --> 00:24:38.640
You're like, okay, that thing is more important than me.
00:24:38.880 --> 00:24:40.559
Even if I'm on the phone, right?
00:24:40.640 --> 00:24:43.920
If I'm on the phone, I can still like look at you.
00:24:44.160 --> 00:24:46.799
That's the first part of the trifecta that I teach.
00:24:47.039 --> 00:24:48.000
Eye contact.
00:24:48.079 --> 00:24:51.599
It's seeing a human being with your eyes.
00:24:51.759 --> 00:24:54.400
The eyes are the windows to the soul.
00:24:55.039 --> 00:24:55.440
Absolutely.
00:24:55.680 --> 00:25:02.559
If I if they don't want to, you know, if they don't want to avoid eye contact, if they want to avoid eye contact, I'm getting very excited here.
00:25:03.279 --> 00:25:03.839
I like it.
00:25:04.079 --> 00:25:09.200
If a person wants to avoid eye contact, a customer comes in, you just read it.
00:25:09.279 --> 00:25:14.160
You don't jump in front of them and say, hey, you know, you do some reading around.
00:25:14.640 --> 00:25:27.759
But eye contact is so critically important for people, particularly nowadays, just to feel seen because so they call it the loneliness epidemic.
00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:31.680
People need to just feel seen.
00:25:31.839 --> 00:25:32.799
That's a step one.
00:25:32.960 --> 00:25:34.720
Eye contact is the first one.
00:25:35.039 --> 00:25:38.319
First step that I teach in the Power of People Academy or training.
00:25:38.400 --> 00:25:43.440
The Power of People is an online training, particularly for front-facing staff.
00:25:43.599 --> 00:25:46.480
That's number one, the trifecta, eye contact.
00:25:46.720 --> 00:25:49.279
The second one is a smile.
00:25:49.759 --> 00:25:58.799
In this particular case, when we're front-facing to customer service, a smile is necessary, regardless of whether you're a man or a woman.
00:25:59.039 --> 00:26:02.240
Now, some people just it's so hard for them, they just don't.
00:26:02.400 --> 00:26:04.880
You can also smile with your voice.
00:26:05.119 --> 00:26:09.599
So, for example, well, let me back up to step two smile.
00:26:09.759 --> 00:26:16.079
If I look at you like this, do I look like a mom?
00:26:16.400 --> 00:26:20.799
No, I don't look like you're like, uh, am I in trouble?
00:26:21.359 --> 00:26:28.880
You know, you know the look, the look that moms and dads give you when they want you're like, you're out of line, and there's no verbal.
00:26:29.200 --> 00:26:30.400
You get the pierced lips almost.
00:26:31.759 --> 00:26:35.920
Yeah, just an eye contact without a smile like is a danger zone.
00:26:36.079 --> 00:26:41.839
So if you can smile, it makes a huge difference from this to this.
00:26:42.400 --> 00:26:42.640
Yeah.
00:26:42.960 --> 00:26:43.839
Just a difference.
00:26:44.079 --> 00:26:46.799
And then the third part of the trifecta is a greeting.
00:26:48.000 --> 00:27:00.559
Because um a greeting sets the stage for a customer service as a person to be in charge, to set the tone, to guide the conversation.
00:27:02.079 --> 00:27:09.599
So whatever the greeting is that we come up with, it's should be consistent because as a customer, you want a consistent experience.
00:27:09.759 --> 00:27:13.279
So eye contact, smile, and a greeting are so important.
00:27:13.680 --> 00:27:22.480
The greeting can also indicate a smile with the end of the word, the end of the sentence going up or down.
00:27:22.880 --> 00:27:31.839
Women tend to, which is something I you know, we have sometimes I work with my clients on, um, not asking a question at the end of a statement.
00:27:32.880 --> 00:27:33.200
Uh huh.
00:27:33.440 --> 00:27:35.759
Not asking a question at the end of a statement.
00:27:36.480 --> 00:27:36.799
Okay.
00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:46.079
So I can still greet someone by either lifting up because that's like a question, or dropping down, which is a statement of fact.
00:27:46.319 --> 00:27:48.480
So I can still say, Welcome in.
00:27:49.440 --> 00:27:52.799
If I say welcome in with a smile, it's better, right?
00:27:52.880 --> 00:27:54.319
Or I say welcome in.
00:27:54.960 --> 00:27:57.119
Like, okay, let me go right back out.
00:27:57.279 --> 00:28:03.359
If I drop my voice at the end, then it it communicates disinterest.
00:28:03.440 --> 00:28:05.359
So there we go, mini lesson.
00:28:05.680 --> 00:28:22.079
But I and I also think, you know, I think there is a time to raise your voice a little bit, but you know, there's when I think women do this more than men, and I think it comes from a form of insecurity of wanting to people is my guess, please, wanting people to like them or be welcomed by them.
00:28:22.319 --> 00:28:24.640
They go higher thinking we sound softer.
00:28:24.880 --> 00:28:43.440
But I actually think there's there's a time and place for that, but I think you own and display the authority, whether it be this counter space and somebody's coming in or the conversation and what what whatever it is, you own your own space when you say it.
00:28:44.559 --> 00:28:51.440
Yeah, not going up, but either staying where you are or yeah, even just dropping just a little bit, just like this is my space.
00:28:51.599 --> 00:28:51.839
Yeah.
00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:53.599
And and you're approaching it, right?
00:28:54.000 --> 00:28:54.319
Yes.
00:28:54.480 --> 00:29:00.400
Yeah, it's and that's particularly that is specifically when we are face to face with customers.
00:29:00.480 --> 00:29:03.759
And you know, on your phone, people can tell when you're smiling or not.
00:29:04.079 --> 00:29:10.240
Um the you and I have different uh our voices are at different levels.
00:29:10.480 --> 00:29:19.440
Typically, men's voices are deeper, yours is deeper than mine, and thus it nonverbally communicates more authority.
00:29:19.680 --> 00:29:30.079
So you have in your normal voice, if you and I were both scripting something that's the exact same, your voice would just naturally contain more authority.
00:29:30.319 --> 00:29:40.319
If I'm asking questions all the time or I'm ending my my sentences with an uptick, it's it invites questioning, even when I'm saying it as a statement.
00:29:40.480 --> 00:29:45.599
So when I, my first career was teaching middle school, and I loved it.
00:29:45.680 --> 00:29:46.799
They were very fun.
00:29:47.519 --> 00:29:51.839
My This is where I want to go today, really, because this is so fascinating to me.
00:29:52.000 --> 00:29:53.279
So go ahead, keep going.
00:29:53.759 --> 00:29:57.519
So, middle school kids, they're super fun, they're really weird.
00:29:57.680 --> 00:30:08.319
If you have middle schoolers or you're going to have a middle school age child, my advice to parents every year was this hover, don't smother.
00:30:08.880 --> 00:30:10.559
Hover, don't smother.
00:30:10.799 --> 00:30:17.200
Yeah, they many times they see their body, their kids' bodies changing and they look like young adults.
00:30:17.440 --> 00:30:25.359
And so, because we nonverbally look at someone who's looks like an adult, we think that they should be responsible like an adult.
00:30:25.440 --> 00:30:27.920
They have like, and that's not.
00:30:28.079 --> 00:30:33.279
I'm like, I'm gonna one of the questions that I get to Heaven, I'm going to ask a couple things.
00:30:33.440 --> 00:30:37.920
I'm like, what's what's this all about during middle school age?
00:30:38.079 --> 00:30:46.240
We've got their kids are naturally trying to push the boundaries and find out who they are outside of their family unit.
00:30:46.400 --> 00:30:47.359
That's number one.
00:30:47.599 --> 00:30:49.839
Number two, they're going through puberty.
00:30:50.079 --> 00:30:51.440
All those weird changes.
00:30:51.599 --> 00:30:52.240
That's number two.
00:30:52.400 --> 00:31:00.079
Number three, there is a scientific like disconnect of the synapses in the brain, just about all the same time.
00:31:00.240 --> 00:31:02.079
So that's one of my questions when I get to heaven.
00:31:02.160 --> 00:31:03.119
I'm like, what the heck?
00:31:03.279 --> 00:31:03.839
Second question.
00:31:04.079 --> 00:31:04.799
Yeah, these poor kids.
00:31:04.960 --> 00:31:05.599
I know, right?
00:31:05.680 --> 00:31:06.319
And all of us.
00:31:06.480 --> 00:31:07.920
Second question, menopause.
00:31:08.000 --> 00:31:09.839
Third question, ticks and mosquitoes.
00:31:09.920 --> 00:31:10.400
What's that?
00:31:10.480 --> 00:31:15.200
So back my husband would agree with you there on the ticks and mosquitoes.
00:31:15.279 --> 00:31:16.160
He's just like, why?
00:31:16.319 --> 00:31:17.440
Why they're disgusting.
00:31:17.599 --> 00:31:18.160
I agree.
00:31:18.319 --> 00:31:26.400
So when I was a middle school teacher, you can imagine these kids there, they have some impulse control problems, their brains are disconnecting.
00:31:26.480 --> 00:31:28.160
They're just so fun and weird.
00:31:28.319 --> 00:31:31.680
Um, and sometimes they get real ramped up.
00:31:31.920 --> 00:31:33.440
So they get real ramped up.
00:31:33.519 --> 00:31:37.920
And there are a lot of different ways as a teacher I could try to get, I would work to get their attention.
00:31:38.160 --> 00:31:42.799
Now, during one of my observations, my my vice principal's name is Matt.
00:31:42.960 --> 00:31:46.079
He came in and he was observing, and it happened to be great.
00:31:46.319 --> 00:31:50.240
One of those days, where the kids just kind of ramped up.
00:31:50.480 --> 00:31:56.799
And so my voice trying to get their attention, I got higher and louder and faster trying to talk over them, right?
00:31:56.960 --> 00:31:57.839
Which is natural.
00:31:58.000 --> 00:32:00.559
It's a normal, natural thing.
00:32:01.039 --> 00:32:01.680
Yeah.
00:32:02.000 --> 00:32:06.559
So after the evaluation, he gave me a tip.
00:32:06.720 --> 00:32:11.440
He said, This is extraordinarily counterintuitive.
00:32:11.759 --> 00:32:20.319
But the next time that you'd like those kids' attention, and they're all whoa, ramped up in all craziness, he said, try these two things.
00:32:20.559 --> 00:32:22.160
Do the opposite.
00:32:22.559 --> 00:32:36.480
Lower the tone of your voice, like the octave level of my voice, like I'm doing now, and slow the rate of your speech and start to speak more quietly and see what happens.
00:32:36.720 --> 00:32:38.640
And I thought, that's never gonna work.
00:32:38.720 --> 00:32:40.240
They're not gonna hear me.
00:32:40.640 --> 00:32:42.960
It works like magic.
00:32:43.759 --> 00:32:44.640
Magic.
00:32:44.960 --> 00:32:50.160
So lower my voice, lower the tone, slow it down.
00:32:50.319 --> 00:32:51.519
It's an energy thing.
00:32:51.680 --> 00:32:52.559
So yeah.
00:32:52.720 --> 00:32:54.400
Um now maybe we should.
00:32:54.559 --> 00:32:56.559
Have you tried this with your husband?
00:32:57.680 --> 00:32:58.400
Have I?
00:32:59.279 --> 00:32:59.920
Yeah.
00:33:00.640 --> 00:33:09.920
Um I think that we have practiced this back and forth with each other because he does the same thing.
00:33:10.079 --> 00:33:14.400
When he's ramped up, maybe people um might start to notice it.
00:33:14.559 --> 00:33:21.839
I don't know if you might start to notice it with your husband or not, or kids or or whatnot.
00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:23.599
But my husband does the same thing.
00:33:23.759 --> 00:33:31.200
When he's amped up about something, say that's frustrating with a family member or work or whatnot, his voice raises.
00:33:32.000 --> 00:33:37.359
And so he and I work on you know, interpersonal relationships within work.
00:33:37.759 --> 00:33:41.279
We're constantly talking about that and kind of rehearsing.
00:33:41.519 --> 00:33:48.240
Okay, how can we help this person not drive us crazy or regulate that other person that's talking?
00:33:48.400 --> 00:33:55.519
And so while it's not necessarily something, here's my pool of two, my research study of two.
00:33:56.640 --> 00:33:58.160
It's not just me that does it.
00:33:58.319 --> 00:34:04.480
I mean, my male husband counterpart does the same with the voice going up and up and up and faster and louder.
00:34:04.559 --> 00:34:08.800
And I'm like, okay, let's win in these situations.
00:34:08.960 --> 00:34:11.440
And yeah, it's just kind of fun to play around with.
00:34:11.679 --> 00:34:36.239
One of the things that I've played around with, because I I've I've heard the research, is when somebody's in a stressful situation, whether they're amped up in a conversation, they're retelling a story, or they're just coming out of a situation they're that they're in, is just bringing your calming breathing to them while they're while they're you know, spiraling or escalating.
00:34:36.480 --> 00:34:39.599
And just your breathing alone will help bring their breathing back down.
00:34:39.760 --> 00:34:44.960
And I've played with this some and um some I can't tell, and others I can.
00:34:45.679 --> 00:34:46.159
Really?
00:34:46.639 --> 00:34:48.960
Your own calm presence and breathing.
00:34:49.119 --> 00:34:58.159
Yeah I don't get science because once you start talking like too scientific for me, like when that's why I don't like cooking, it's like you gotta know science.
00:34:58.320 --> 00:35:01.360
Uh other things, you I love nutrition, but it gets too scientific.
00:35:01.440 --> 00:35:02.719
I'm like, all right, I'm out.
00:35:02.880 --> 00:35:03.440
Yeah.
00:35:03.760 --> 00:35:06.000
But there's something to it, I could say that.
00:35:06.400 --> 00:35:06.800
Yeah.
00:35:06.960 --> 00:35:07.599
Yeah.
00:35:08.159 --> 00:35:20.400
So you said um middle school teacher, which I find middle school teachers to be fascinating because they're usually the group of people above any other people group that'll say, Middle school kids are just the greatest.
00:35:20.559 --> 00:35:23.519
They're so cool, they're weird, they're all the things.
00:35:23.760 --> 00:35:27.360
And it could really, you know, drive other people crazy.
00:35:27.519 --> 00:35:28.079
Yeah.
00:35:28.320 --> 00:35:32.639
Um, it's a challenging time for them and and for some people.
00:35:32.800 --> 00:35:39.199
Where I think middle school teachers, it really is such a special gift that you guys have to love that kind of group.
00:35:39.440 --> 00:35:50.320
Um, but you also, and the reason I wanted to talk about today where I started to go earlier was it's MLK Junior Day, and he had a dream.
00:35:50.559 --> 00:35:57.440
And I don't know if this was your dream, but for a lot of women, a lot of my audience is midlife.
00:35:57.760 --> 00:36:02.800
They're like 40 and above, and had a career, or they were stay-at-home mom.
00:36:02.960 --> 00:36:08.239
They did, they they did something, usually a lot of things, but they did one main thing most of their life.
00:36:08.400 --> 00:36:13.119
They get to midlife, and for some, it's a shift not only in body, but like career.
00:36:13.280 --> 00:36:20.800
Some are retiring early or in that time, and I don't know, they don't feel called to just sit around and watch TV and eat bonns.
00:36:20.960 --> 00:36:23.119
They want to be still vibrant and doing things.
00:36:23.599 --> 00:36:29.440
Others sense before even menopause, there's a shift, and I'm supposed to leave a job and I'm supposed to do something else.
00:36:29.599 --> 00:36:29.920
Yeah.
00:36:30.239 --> 00:36:37.840
You did that, and you shared a story about the what you call boutique hotel.
00:36:38.559 --> 00:36:44.400
And I want you to share the story because I think it would inspire other women who are still sitting on this fearful side going, well, what if I fail?
00:36:44.480 --> 00:36:45.760
And is this crazy?
00:36:46.239 --> 00:36:47.360
Can you tell us that story?
00:36:47.599 --> 00:36:48.480
Sure, sure.
00:36:48.719 --> 00:37:04.159
And for all the women who I have friends like this that they spent the majority of their uh young marriage um rearing the children, it's it's an extremely intensive job.
00:37:04.480 --> 00:37:06.800
It you don't get to clock out.
00:37:07.360 --> 00:37:07.920
Yeah.
00:37:08.239 --> 00:37:21.199
So when I had, so when I transitioned from teaching to owning this boutique hotel after a number of years, I realized the sweet spot for hiring was a mom, a mom with children who are gone.
00:37:21.519 --> 00:37:24.719
Because they are rock stars.
00:37:24.960 --> 00:37:45.760
When you are managing a home and children and their schedules and their doctor's appointments, and their food and their clothes, and their if they have any special needs, and uh the household itself, it I want any woman who is maybe thinking or feeling like, yeah, I just don't have the skills in the workplace, blah, blah, blah.
00:37:45.920 --> 00:37:48.079
Okay, yeah, there's a there's truth to that.
00:37:48.239 --> 00:37:55.679
There's networking opportunities that are lost, there's um learning opportunities that are lost, there's it's it just is what it is.
00:37:56.559 --> 00:38:10.159
But it's not to throw the baby out, the proverbial baby out with a bathwater, because women who have raised children are gems.
00:38:11.199 --> 00:38:14.239
They are absolute gems to hire.
00:38:15.360 --> 00:38:17.599
I just I hope that that sinks in.
00:38:17.760 --> 00:38:23.679
They are my preferred person to hire when I had you know customer service with the hotel.
00:38:24.000 --> 00:38:36.320
There's so many skills that a mom has that leaders, owners of businesses would kill to have in their staff.
00:38:36.559 --> 00:38:39.360
Like there's just there, let me let that land.
00:38:39.519 --> 00:38:41.119
So back to your question.
00:38:41.360 --> 00:38:45.199
Well, back to your question of what I did.
00:38:45.280 --> 00:38:48.079
So I taught middle school for 13 years and I loved it.
00:38:48.320 --> 00:38:55.599
And middle school teachers, thank you for the compliment about the gifting that you have when you're a middle school teacher.
00:38:55.840 --> 00:39:08.559
And middle school teachers, I taught first grade one year, and that what you said complimenting middle school teachers is exactly what I feel about elementary school teachers, is particularly like first grade.
00:39:08.800 --> 00:39:13.280
Those people are special, and that's how we feel about high school teachers.
00:39:13.440 --> 00:39:24.719
So, what I like about your statement to circle back is everyone has their a gift, and the it's a God-given gift, and we all have a space to help others.
00:39:24.880 --> 00:39:30.800
So, some people it's elementary school, some people it's middle, some people it's high school, some people it's all all the different things.
00:39:31.039 --> 00:39:40.559
So I taught middle school, um, loved it for about 13 years, and I got frustrated with the system itself.
00:39:41.519 --> 00:39:51.840
So a couple years before I transitioned into something else, I was praying, pressing in, figuring out what are my skills and gifts.
00:39:52.000 --> 00:39:57.519
I, you know, was in a home group and we did these uh the administrative gift, gift of administration.
00:39:57.679 --> 00:39:59.039
I'm like, I don't know what you mean.
00:39:59.199 --> 00:39:59.440
What?
00:39:59.679 --> 00:40:00.000
Okay.
00:40:00.559 --> 00:40:02.559
I'm a I have I can do a vision.
00:40:02.639 --> 00:40:09.840
So if you have a big um goal, I think in dominoes and I can see how we stack them up to knock them down.
00:40:10.480 --> 00:40:16.480
So I for a couple of years was pressing in trying to find what is the next thing that I'm called to do?
00:40:16.639 --> 00:40:17.360
What is it?
00:40:17.599 --> 00:40:22.320
A lot of emotional roller coaster because I get excited about something and then nothing would happen.
00:40:22.400 --> 00:40:24.639
And I get excited about something and then nothing would happen.
00:40:24.800 --> 00:40:27.039
Getting that's so common though, isn't it?
00:40:27.119 --> 00:40:31.199
So that happens to so many people and it it could stall you for years.
00:40:31.440 --> 00:40:33.679
It did, it did stall me for years, exactly.
00:40:33.760 --> 00:40:36.239
Yeah, and it made me question a lot and press in.
00:40:36.320 --> 00:40:38.480
I'm like, I need a brick wall, Lord.
00:40:38.800 --> 00:40:47.199
So um this it was, I think February of 2006, I think.
00:40:47.760 --> 00:40:52.960
My my brother had sent me, this is before the Internet Webs are so prevalent, right?
00:40:53.119 --> 00:40:58.320
He sent me a cutout from a nickel ad, which is a newspaper for those young listeners of yours.
00:40:58.480 --> 00:41:07.360
If you have an old-fashioned newspaper, and it was for this hotel in Dofer, Oregon, which is population 650.
00:41:07.760 --> 00:41:08.000
Right.
00:41:08.159 --> 00:41:11.360
And there's it's not like there's a giant ball of yarn or Niagara Falls.
00:41:11.440 --> 00:41:18.320
It's a farming community, very small town, two hours, well, hour 40 east of Portland, like on the way to bed.
00:41:18.559 --> 00:41:18.880
Okay.
00:41:19.280 --> 00:41:34.559
So my husband and I got in the car, we drove out there, and for every mile that you drive east of Hood River, so it's Portland on the Columbia River, Portland, and farther east is Hood River, farther east is the Dalles, and you go a tiny bit south and it's Doofer.
00:41:34.800 --> 00:41:40.239
From Hood River, for every mile you drive east, you lose an inch of annual rainfall.
00:41:41.039 --> 00:41:46.239
By the time you get to Dufer, there's over, which is 40 minutes away from me, not far.
00:41:46.639 --> 00:41:52.960
There's over 300 days of sunshine a year and only nine inches of annual rainfall.
00:41:53.519 --> 00:41:54.000
Wow.
00:41:54.239 --> 00:41:56.719
It is it is a little gem of a spot.
00:41:56.960 --> 00:42:03.360
So we drove there, we went through the two corners in town, and we pulled up.
00:42:03.440 --> 00:42:19.920
There's all these scraggly trees, and we pulled past, you know, we're driving uh up the road, kind of starting to go out of town, all these scraggly trees, and then there's a hotel that comes into the view, and we we go around the south, pull into the very back parking lot and park, get out and meet Howard Green.
00:42:20.079 --> 00:42:22.320
Very tall man, very tall.
00:42:22.639 --> 00:42:29.840
Remind me of my dad, just self-made, very kind, but you know, no nonsense business guy.
00:42:30.320 --> 00:42:34.400
The hotel is uh three stories brick building.
00:42:34.559 --> 00:42:38.800
It's on the National Historic Register, had 21 rooms.
00:42:39.039 --> 00:42:41.519
It sits on an acre of grounds.
00:42:42.079 --> 00:42:46.800
And um we Howard just started telling us all the things about the hotel.
00:42:46.880 --> 00:42:48.320
He's just a congenial man.
00:42:48.480 --> 00:42:55.440
We walked into the back door, and I remember I you know, my heart again, I'm like, whoa, exciting.
00:42:55.920 --> 00:43:06.480
And I remember where I was standing when I stopped hearing what Howard was saying, and I got like a download, just like that.
00:43:06.639 --> 00:43:12.320
I got the I think it's God breathed, gave me the vision of what this hotel could look like.
00:43:12.639 --> 00:43:18.079
I stopped for myself in a moment and I threw up in my head, you know, he's chatting away.
00:43:18.239 --> 00:43:23.599
I threw up a Hail Mary prayer, and I said, if this is it, open up all the doors.
00:43:23.840 --> 00:43:25.360
And that was it, and off we went.
00:43:25.440 --> 00:43:27.440
And that was in my head, and there we went.
00:43:27.599 --> 00:43:29.519
So 21 rooms.
00:43:29.760 --> 00:43:32.480
They had Howard and Pat, the owners.
00:43:32.719 --> 00:43:41.519
They had an auction in uh, I don't know, November or something, where they sold off all the furniture and they were supposed to sell the hotel.
00:43:41.679 --> 00:43:44.639
Well, the furniture sold and the hotel did not.
00:43:45.199 --> 00:43:45.599
Oh wow.
00:43:46.079 --> 00:43:50.400
They had an empty building and they had done a lot of structural renovation.
00:43:50.639 --> 00:43:52.960
So, long and short, that was February.
00:43:53.199 --> 00:43:55.119
I had never written a business plan.
00:43:55.280 --> 00:43:56.639
I had managed a classroom.
00:43:56.719 --> 00:43:59.440
I always loved business, but I didn't know what entrepreneur meant at that.
00:44:00.159 --> 00:44:01.440
Back in the day.
00:44:02.000 --> 00:44:14.960
And um by the end of June, mid-June, excuse me, at the after teaching the year party, I told my principal, I said, I think we're buying this hotel.
00:44:16.159 --> 00:44:16.559
Yeah.
00:44:16.880 --> 00:44:19.199
And he's he was very excited.
00:44:19.920 --> 00:44:21.920
So I found someone to rent our house.
00:44:22.000 --> 00:44:24.320
We couldn't do two mortgages at the same time.
00:44:24.639 --> 00:44:33.039
Mid second week in August, Jeff and I moved out of our home that we had like a week before finished the deck.
00:44:33.119 --> 00:44:43.199
It was a long-term project where we had lived in the trailer in the parking or in the driveway in the winter when we first bought this project house.
00:44:43.280 --> 00:44:44.719
And so it took a lot of years.
00:44:44.880 --> 00:44:53.440
So anyway, we moved from our mostly finished home back into the trailer with dog and two cats in the parking lot of the hotel.
00:44:53.599 --> 00:45:04.159
My husband started a commute to work to Hood River, and I started renovation on the hotel, a restoration, like uh plaster repair, tons of stripping woodwork, window reglazing.
00:45:04.320 --> 00:45:06.159
We had to have the landscaping done.
00:45:06.400 --> 00:45:14.559
So when I took over the hotel in 2006, so there were 21 rooms in Dofer, population 650.
00:45:14.880 --> 00:45:19.440
It hadn't been open consistently as a hotel since the 1940s.
00:45:20.239 --> 00:45:22.719
It did not have an existing clientele.
00:45:22.800 --> 00:45:26.800
I didn't just get a guest list with all of these res, nope, nothing.
00:45:27.039 --> 00:45:35.920
It didn't have a training manual, any SOP like standard operating procedure, no, no real like IP knowledge.
00:45:36.079 --> 00:45:38.960
It was all in Howard's head about the history of the hotel.
00:45:39.280 --> 00:45:40.239
No staff.
00:45:41.440 --> 00:45:44.000
So yeah, I jumped right in.
00:45:44.400 --> 00:45:45.360
Jumped right in.
00:45:45.760 --> 00:45:46.800
Um yeah.
00:45:50.320 --> 00:45:51.039
Well, I do.
00:45:51.599 --> 00:45:54.800
What I I mean that it's it's a totally different.
00:45:55.519 --> 00:45:57.440
I always I think you're always being prepared.
00:45:57.599 --> 00:46:00.320
My husband says this, and I really have come to believe this.
00:46:00.559 --> 00:46:02.559
You're always being prepared for something.
00:46:03.599 --> 00:46:04.000
Right?
00:46:04.239 --> 00:46:12.559
So you took some of the things that you've learned prior seasons, and now you find yourself in this situation where you have this hotel.
00:46:12.800 --> 00:46:18.480
You have this, you you clearly can see, you have a vision of what it could look like, its potential.
00:46:20.480 --> 00:46:23.599
And and then you had that business for how many years?
00:46:23.920 --> 00:46:24.719
About a decade.
00:46:24.880 --> 00:46:25.119
Yeah.
00:46:25.280 --> 00:46:34.880
The plan was longer, but we both had Jeff, my husband and I both had parent needs that came so much faster than we even ever anticipated.
00:46:35.039 --> 00:46:49.199
So we basically you're like, if you think about the circus when they're standing on two horses, you know, the person has got their foot on one and then that foot on the other, and then they the horses start to go away from each other, and pretty soon the person is doing the splits.
00:46:49.280 --> 00:46:50.480
That's kind of what it felt like.
00:46:50.639 --> 00:46:59.440
Like, ah, we so we made the hard decision to sell the hotel so we could be more present for for our both of our sets of parents or both of our parents.
00:46:59.599 --> 00:47:06.559
My mother, my dad passed, had passed away in 2001, but his parents were both alive, and my mom as well.
00:47:06.800 --> 00:47:08.480
So yeah, yeah.
00:47:08.719 --> 00:47:10.320
But my curious, what did you learn?
00:47:10.400 --> 00:47:19.599
Because there are women uh women that are uh and I I bring that up because you know, running a hotel is quite different than leaving a bunch of middle school kids, right?
00:47:20.000 --> 00:47:22.400
Teacher and well, that's what I'm saying.
00:47:22.559 --> 00:47:23.199
Is it though?
00:47:23.280 --> 00:47:29.119
Because there are things you took, skills you had here that applied there, but so many people go, I'm just a teacher.
00:47:29.280 --> 00:47:30.320
I can't own a hotel.
00:47:30.400 --> 00:47:33.920
I don't even know what to do because we just think so myopically all the time.
00:47:34.079 --> 00:47:34.239
Yeah.
00:47:34.480 --> 00:47:39.440
So what do you say to the woman that maybe has this dream that looks nothing like maybe how she spent?
00:47:39.599 --> 00:47:42.559
Because what you say about moms too, I would agree with you.
00:47:42.719 --> 00:47:51.119
I think you have nobody who could if if anybody could try to multitask and be productive, it would be a mom and actually get stuff done.
00:47:51.199 --> 00:47:57.840
I understand you're not really as productive as you think you are, but when moms do multiple things all through the day.
00:47:58.000 --> 00:48:04.639
We actually are pretty good listeners because you have to be aware of your children's needs and be very in tune with that child.
00:48:04.880 --> 00:48:13.199
So I would agree with all that, but there are women who are gonna listen and be like, oh, I do this and this, these things that I'd like to do make logical sense.
00:48:13.440 --> 00:48:15.280
A hotel or like this other thing.
00:48:15.440 --> 00:48:16.880
I long to, curious.
00:48:17.039 --> 00:48:18.320
It was presented to me.
00:48:18.559 --> 00:48:19.679
Probably can't do that.
00:48:19.840 --> 00:48:20.079
Yeah.
00:48:20.320 --> 00:48:22.000
What do you say to that woman?
00:48:22.320 --> 00:48:30.239
Um, when you're we took an alpha course through our Kirk Church, we hosted it actually, um, gosh, years ago.
00:48:30.400 --> 00:48:38.159
One of the things I remember from this course is when someone is creating a new habit or you want to step into a new thing.
00:48:38.400 --> 00:48:44.719
Let's say you and I are not really runners, but we decide we want to run a half marathon.
00:48:45.280 --> 00:48:54.800
We're going from we're changing a behavior, or say that you grew up in a family that just really likes to watch movies all the time and you now want to be more athletic and whatnot.
00:48:54.960 --> 00:49:05.360
And that's not the culture of your family or your friend unit, or you want to quit drinking or smoking or grow your business, like being a mastermind, right?
00:49:05.920 --> 00:49:07.679
I remember from that alpha course.
00:49:07.840 --> 00:49:10.559
Now I don't, I haven't, this is not gospel.
00:49:10.719 --> 00:49:14.239
I haven't, you know, checked it to make sure this is the correct statistic.
00:49:14.320 --> 00:49:15.840
So this is based on my memory.
00:49:16.079 --> 00:49:28.880
Is that when we're transitioning and we want to do something different, we want to become someone different or stretch into a different area, we need six people in that new area if it's going to stick.
00:49:29.119 --> 00:49:33.280
Now, with the Alpha course, it was like a non-believer becoming a believer.
00:49:33.440 --> 00:49:41.199
And you need six new people to help you get that footing in the new space and to keep the momentum going.
00:49:41.599 --> 00:49:49.119
So um when when I first had the vision, right, there were people.
00:49:49.920 --> 00:49:52.800
I remember someone in my church, a woman said, Are you crazy?
00:49:52.880 --> 00:49:53.760
What are you doing?
00:49:53.920 --> 00:49:56.639
And I thought, oop, not my person.
00:49:56.880 --> 00:49:58.960
I need to not be around that person.
00:49:59.599 --> 00:50:07.840
Because when you are going to try something new, you know, we talked about earlier the nonverbal communication, subconscious things that happen.
00:50:08.079 --> 00:50:12.159
It's, I don't believe in my heart of hearts, it's really intentional.
00:50:12.480 --> 00:50:24.320
But change is hard for the people around us because especially if you're a mom and you're changing the way you're behaving or you're changing your job, or you're from a mom to now, okay, you guys are mostly independent.
00:50:24.480 --> 00:50:28.719
You need to be more independent so you can be successful when you launch out of the house.
00:50:28.960 --> 00:50:31.360
I'm going to go and work on my things.
00:50:31.760 --> 00:50:33.360
People don't like change.
00:50:33.599 --> 00:50:42.159
Families tend to try to bring you back, like, no, no, no, come back and say things like, I don't know that that's, you know, do you have the skills to do that?
00:50:42.400 --> 00:50:47.119
Not in a mean way, but just in a way that is reflecting their own fear of change.
00:50:47.280 --> 00:50:57.360
So, first thing I would say is put yourself around people who are going to support and encourage you, not just give you a blank check and say, Oh, yeah, you should become a neurosurgeon.
00:50:57.440 --> 00:50:58.159
You have no background.
00:50:58.400 --> 00:51:03.679
No, you know, but people who are actually going to support your dream.
00:51:03.840 --> 00:51:07.360
And because it will get hard and you'll challenge you'll get challenged.
00:51:07.440 --> 00:51:08.639
So for sure.
00:51:08.880 --> 00:51:11.039
Um, now I've forgotten menopause.
00:51:11.119 --> 00:51:12.960
I'm blaming on a menopause, it's probably not that.
00:51:13.199 --> 00:51:13.440
Love it.
00:51:14.000 --> 00:51:15.199
All our viewers will get it.
00:51:15.360 --> 00:51:17.199
What was your original question?
00:51:17.519 --> 00:51:27.280
No, what do you say to the woman who's like, I've always done this, but I you kind of have like this whether you call it inspiration or something presents itself and you immediately I here's what we all do.
00:51:27.519 --> 00:51:28.719
I should say most people do.
00:51:28.880 --> 00:51:30.480
Nope, that because that's not me.
00:51:30.639 --> 00:51:30.800
Right.
00:51:31.039 --> 00:51:37.039
We we just we put ourselves in these boxes and you're like, but you have no idea what's in you until you actually lay that box down.
00:51:37.280 --> 00:51:38.079
And you know what?
00:51:38.239 --> 00:51:46.480
If you if you I when I do this to my clients that are, and I do it with myself because it isn't like I just magically have all this courage to do things.
00:51:46.559 --> 00:51:46.960
I don't.
00:51:47.039 --> 00:51:54.559
I still have tons of imposter syndrome that show up in different parts of lots of parts of my my life.
00:51:54.880 --> 00:51:57.440
Um, there is a lot of transfer.
00:51:57.599 --> 00:52:04.800
People will say to me, You were a teacher and then you had a hotel, and now you do speaking and coaching and consulting.
00:52:05.039 --> 00:52:08.239
They see those things as very disrelated.
00:52:08.639 --> 00:52:11.039
I see those things as a complete through line.
00:52:11.119 --> 00:52:16.639
The complete through line of all these chapter one, two, and three in my life is people.
00:52:16.960 --> 00:52:19.679
It's people retention, it's people support.
00:52:20.000 --> 00:52:31.760
This, for the listeners, um what I'm doing is I'm raising I have my hands, my palms up in front of my body, and I'm raising them up towards like my ears.
00:52:32.079 --> 00:52:36.719
So that is in Samantha's world, correct leadership.
00:52:37.119 --> 00:52:49.119
You're lifting people up, you're seeing the value in them, you're giving them the skills, they have to be trained with the skills to give consistently excellent customer experiences.
00:52:49.360 --> 00:52:50.559
That's leadership.
00:52:50.800 --> 00:53:10.800
Now, for the listeners, if you take one palm and you have it up, and then you take your, let's see, your left palm is out and it's like holding a plate, and then you take your right hand with your thumb up, like you're hitchhiking, and then put that thumb into the middle of your palm and kind of squish it around, that's not leadership.
00:53:11.039 --> 00:53:13.119
That is how some people lead.
00:53:13.599 --> 00:53:14.079
Yep.
00:53:14.639 --> 00:53:23.920
But that is not leadership that will result in people being loyal to you, honest with you, showing up and contributing to your business.
00:53:24.159 --> 00:53:28.480
If the thumb type of leadership, that's based out of fear and control.
00:53:28.880 --> 00:53:34.639
And we see that all over in politics, in business, in households, right?
00:53:35.199 --> 00:53:38.400
I heard this when I was growing up, like it's my way or the highway.
00:53:38.960 --> 00:53:40.320
Do it because I said so.
00:53:40.480 --> 00:53:42.000
Yeah, sometimes there's a place for that.
00:53:42.079 --> 00:53:43.360
Like, don't run out in the street.
00:53:43.599 --> 00:53:58.480
But getting stuck on that, squishing the thumb into the palm, that's not the kind of leadership that's that I've found to be the best way to get people to stay, want to stay, want to think about my business.
00:53:59.119 --> 00:54:01.840
It's it's the palms up uplifting people.
00:54:02.079 --> 00:54:06.960
Now, uplifting people does not mean that we are just giving them a blank check.
00:54:07.119 --> 00:54:22.239
Like, for example, my the kids in my classroom, and a lot of the same examples from uh leading kids, weird middle school kids, does transfer to leading adults.
00:54:22.480 --> 00:54:24.159
There are differences, right?
00:54:24.239 --> 00:54:27.679
There are differences, but there's a through line that I can build on.
00:54:27.840 --> 00:54:30.480
I did learn a lot, so much.
00:54:31.199 --> 00:54:39.840
The um, if I want my classroom to be respectful, then we set it up so that they're uplifted and they're challenged.
00:54:39.920 --> 00:54:44.159
And it's a safe space to take risks, and risks are celebrated.
00:54:44.320 --> 00:54:50.159
That means we don't put down people, we don't have a bad attitude, like, oh, we now it's time to do reading.
00:54:50.320 --> 00:54:51.360
Oh meh, meh.
00:54:51.679 --> 00:55:03.519
Nope, that is not even anywhere okay in my classroom or honestly, in my team as an adult, you know, when I'm leading adults.
00:55:03.920 --> 00:55:12.800
That complaining, that murmur, it's challenging to constantly as a leader redial, but it's setting the stage.
00:55:12.960 --> 00:55:14.480
Like, this is what we do.
00:55:14.639 --> 00:55:16.559
I uplift you and I challenge you.
00:55:16.639 --> 00:55:17.920
And there's boundaries.
00:55:18.159 --> 00:55:19.920
Like, what's the vision?
00:55:20.239 --> 00:55:22.960
I'm challenging you to step into it.
00:55:23.519 --> 00:55:23.840
Right.
00:55:24.000 --> 00:55:24.239
Yeah.
00:55:24.559 --> 00:55:31.199
It's it's casting the vision, it's like you're doing with your people who are doing with their kids.
00:55:31.280 --> 00:55:34.639
You you don't when they fall down, you don't pick them up.
00:55:35.199 --> 00:55:37.679
You look at them and you say, What'd you learn?
00:55:38.159 --> 00:55:41.199
You can get up because that is a life skill.
00:55:41.360 --> 00:55:55.199
If I'm constantly picking up my child as a teenager and not helping them work through their fall downs, then that child is going to live in your basement until you die.
00:55:56.159 --> 00:56:00.079
They have to have those skills to be able to gain.
00:56:00.239 --> 00:56:11.519
You cannot whether it's children or whether it's adults, employees, you I cannot give someone self-confidence.
00:56:12.400 --> 00:56:12.719
Yep.
00:56:13.039 --> 00:56:13.440
I agree.
00:56:13.920 --> 00:56:16.719
It's so hard, but I cannot give it to them.
00:56:16.960 --> 00:56:21.039
It happens when I stand there and I say, I got you.
00:56:21.199 --> 00:56:21.840
What do you need?
00:56:22.480 --> 00:56:23.199
You're capable.
00:56:23.360 --> 00:56:24.320
Let's try again.
00:56:24.960 --> 00:56:29.199
I watched um, I don't know if this is a culturally true thing or not.
00:56:29.360 --> 00:56:35.679
I just saw it um one time and it was about parenting, and I think it was in Japan.
00:56:35.760 --> 00:56:53.360
There was this, there were these parents walking through a park, and there was uh with a child, like I don't know if it was four or five, a little one, a little one, and there was this little, there were two ropes across that for an adult were easy to step over.
00:56:54.000 --> 00:57:04.480
And the dad was walking, and then the kid was walking, the dad just stepped over it, the kid got stuck because you know, he the kid can't just step over it, and it was kind of twisty and getting frustrated.
00:57:04.559 --> 00:57:06.159
And the the parents didn't say anything.
00:57:06.239 --> 00:57:19.119
The mom was where the kid was, a little away, and the dad was across the barrier or the obstacle, and the kid started to get really frustrated, the kid got tangled up.
00:57:19.760 --> 00:57:25.039
Um, the parent was watching, both of our parents were watching to make sure the kid didn't get hurt.
00:57:25.280 --> 00:57:31.840
When the kid got tangled and was actually really stuck and wasn't going to be able to figure it out, it was obvious to the parent.
00:57:32.079 --> 00:57:33.920
The dad picked him up.
00:57:34.480 --> 00:57:38.719
I was thinking, oh, the dad's going to put him on the side of the fence with the dad.
00:57:38.960 --> 00:57:39.920
The dad didn't.
00:57:40.079 --> 00:57:45.679
The dad put him back on the first side, communicating nonverbally, like you could figure it out.
00:57:46.320 --> 00:57:47.360
Would it have been a lot faster?
00:57:47.519 --> 00:57:49.599
The kid finally figured it out and off they went.
00:57:49.679 --> 00:58:08.800
And I thought, that is such a beautiful example of how we support one another, whether it's children or adults, in gaining their own self-confidence, in modeling how you try and try and try again.
00:58:09.039 --> 00:58:13.760
So for women who are thinking about transitioning, just try, take the next step.
00:58:13.920 --> 00:58:15.920
What's the easiest next thing that you could do?
00:58:16.159 --> 00:58:18.159
So easy that you could trip over it.
00:58:18.800 --> 00:58:19.920
Just take the next step.
00:58:20.079 --> 00:58:28.400
Surround yourself with people who are going to support your goals, support you when you fall down, and encourage you to try again.
00:58:28.800 --> 00:58:29.760
And you know what?
00:58:29.920 --> 00:58:40.880
It's going to be five years from now, whether you decide to go get that degree or not, five years ago, five years from now, you will either have the degree or you won't have the degree, or whatever the job is.
00:58:41.039 --> 00:58:44.079
And you're not, yeah, nobody's got a ball and chain on you.
00:58:44.159 --> 00:58:45.760
You can just change.
00:58:46.159 --> 00:58:47.519
Yeah, here's the beautiful thing.
00:58:47.599 --> 00:58:50.239
I think I mean this could happen at any age.
00:58:50.480 --> 00:58:52.079
Um, I hear it a lot more.
00:58:52.159 --> 00:58:58.239
I don't know if it's because I am in this age category right now, and so I'm surrounded by other women who are kind of going through the same thing.
00:58:58.559 --> 00:59:05.360
Or is it um, you know, a period of time where people are tend to have some shifts going?
00:59:05.599 --> 00:59:24.559
But what I found, there was something about turning 50, and I'm into my 50s now, but there's something about turning 50 that happened for me, where I had there's this like, and I say this because we tend to box ourselves in, right?
00:59:24.639 --> 00:59:32.800
Over the years, you do certain things, and we start picking up this narrative that we hear in the head, this voice that just is like, Well, you don't do that.
00:59:32.960 --> 00:59:33.840
You're not like that.
00:59:34.000 --> 00:59:34.719
You can't do that.
00:59:34.880 --> 00:59:35.840
Nope, that's not you.
00:59:35.920 --> 00:59:36.639
It's one of those.
00:59:36.800 --> 00:59:38.719
And literally, I was just in my own quiet time.
00:59:38.880 --> 00:59:44.960
It was like, I felt, you know, in your life, I don't know if you had this, Samantha word, you could feel a barrier.
00:59:45.920 --> 00:59:49.280
You know there's something holding you back, but you don't know what it is.
00:59:49.519 --> 00:59:52.880
I was, I was like in that period of life and I was so over it.
00:59:53.119 --> 01:00:06.159
Didn't know what it was, and out of my mouth, I just said, Laura, I want to step out of the boxes I tend to put myself in beyond and stand behind beyond the lines I tend to stand behind and bust through the barriers I know that are holding me back.
01:00:06.239 --> 01:00:08.880
And I don't know what it is, but I want to do that.
01:00:09.119 --> 01:00:09.519
That's good.
01:00:09.679 --> 01:00:12.159
And I just kind of went like you, I kind of went on my way.
01:00:12.320 --> 01:00:13.920
You were like, open every door.
01:00:14.000 --> 01:00:19.039
I was just like, I I want to bust out of these, I sense it, but I don't know what it is.
01:00:19.280 --> 01:00:23.039
And I feel like ever since then it's been this like one, okay.
01:00:23.119 --> 01:00:24.079
You want to know what one is?
01:00:24.159 --> 01:00:25.519
Here it is, here it is, here it is.
01:00:25.679 --> 01:00:31.119
And one of the things was what I start doing is paying attention to patterns.
01:00:31.760 --> 01:00:35.360
And it was one of those listen to the patterns that are coming out of your mouth.
01:00:35.440 --> 01:00:37.519
And we say things, and I hear it in women all the time.
01:00:37.679 --> 01:00:42.239
You go shopping with like, or you see a be somebody wearing a really cute outfit.
01:00:42.400 --> 01:00:53.440
And I could say it right now, like you and Tammy, who's also in our um group, you have these, you always have these, and and really Victoria, you always have these cute, colorful glasses, and it's one of those, well, I would never wear that.
01:00:53.519 --> 01:00:54.159
That's not me.
01:00:54.320 --> 01:00:56.000
You look cute in it, but I don't, right?
01:00:56.079 --> 01:01:00.079
So I would do, I wouldn't wear that dress, you look cute in it, but I wouldn't, but I love it.
01:01:00.559 --> 01:01:01.840
Oh, I couldn't do that.
01:01:02.000 --> 01:01:02.719
I wouldn't wear that.
01:01:02.800 --> 01:01:06.320
And every time I get this like little nudge with that's a box.
01:01:07.039 --> 01:01:11.039
Put your box yourself in a box there, standing behind the line on that one.
01:01:11.199 --> 01:01:16.960
You know, it's just and it was like, oh, and then I had this like aha moment.
01:01:17.360 --> 01:01:20.559
It was like, oh my gosh.
01:01:20.880 --> 01:01:29.599
Maybe it's some of the things that we tell ourselves, maybe that lie that we're continually yapping in our own ear, it's not that it's not in there.
01:01:29.840 --> 01:01:32.800
It's not that I can't network in a room.
01:01:32.960 --> 01:01:36.239
I just have told the the the narrative, Dana, you can't work.
01:01:36.559 --> 01:01:37.039
It's that.
01:01:37.119 --> 01:01:38.159
So I put myself in a box.
01:01:38.239 --> 01:01:39.199
Nope, you don't do those things.
01:01:39.280 --> 01:01:42.960
And I put myself in all these boxes, so I'm restricted and hindered.
01:01:43.360 --> 01:01:48.719
Maybe it's not that it's not in me, maybe it's just a part of me I have not developed yet.
01:01:49.360 --> 01:01:50.400
Could that be it?
01:01:50.559 --> 01:01:53.440
And I felt like my entire world just started blowing up.
01:01:53.599 --> 01:01:53.920
Yeah.
01:01:54.400 --> 01:01:56.320
And it was like, I can wear dresses.
01:01:56.400 --> 01:01:58.719
I had this urge to just like, I didn't want to wear pants ever.
01:01:58.800 --> 01:02:00.159
It was because I just want to wear dresses.
01:02:00.239 --> 01:02:01.119
I just wanted to do this.
01:02:01.280 --> 01:02:06.719
I just wanted, you know, I just had these urges, and it was like, well, it wasn't me for years, but it's me now.
01:02:06.880 --> 01:02:07.920
Yeah, you know.
01:02:08.159 --> 01:02:09.119
I like that.
01:02:09.679 --> 01:02:10.079
Yeah.
01:02:10.239 --> 01:02:13.440
So I I think a lot of women can be held back by those things as well.
01:02:13.599 --> 01:02:21.920
Um and there's a lot of there's a lot of nonverbal patterning that happens, particularly with women.
01:02:22.159 --> 01:02:25.440
I was listening to a podcast, I think it was.
01:02:25.599 --> 01:02:26.880
Oh gosh, I don't remember.
01:02:26.960 --> 01:02:27.679
Who cares?
01:02:28.000 --> 01:02:32.559
But it talked about women in leadership and men in leadership.
01:02:32.719 --> 01:02:44.559
There's a I have a great article that I read, which sadly is so dated and it's still true to this day, but it talks about how, you know, women and leadership roles, lots of things.
01:02:44.719 --> 01:02:48.800
I've started to become more aware of how I compliment young girls.
01:02:49.280 --> 01:02:53.199
I try not to say, oh, you look so cute, or that looks beautiful on you.
01:02:53.280 --> 01:02:56.320
And I'll say, oh, that looks like a you look like a boss.
01:02:56.559 --> 01:02:58.559
Because do I say that to little boys?
01:02:58.800 --> 01:02:59.599
You look so cute.
01:02:59.760 --> 01:03:05.360
Well, maybe when they're tiny, but otherwise, like, oh, look at a fireman, or oh, that's so fun, or look at you on the bike.
01:03:05.519 --> 01:03:06.159
Good job.
01:03:06.400 --> 01:03:10.079
There's some language that happens very young.
01:03:10.400 --> 01:03:16.639
I remember being at uh a campout, and this one of the there were two littles.
01:03:17.119 --> 01:03:20.880
One of them was um, she she just ran everywhere.
01:03:20.960 --> 01:03:21.760
I'm not joking.
01:03:21.920 --> 01:03:22.719
She did not walk.
01:03:22.880 --> 01:03:24.400
She was uh maybe four.
01:03:24.559 --> 01:03:26.960
She just ran everywhere, everywhere, everywhere.
01:03:27.119 --> 01:03:33.440
Just and being a kid, not knowing how tired she was, it was at the end of the day.
01:03:33.599 --> 01:03:36.559
She almost tripped a couple times like by the fire.
01:03:36.800 --> 01:03:45.039
And I remember the first night of mail, probably not even aware of what he was saying or the impact it might have.
01:03:45.199 --> 01:03:49.440
He said, Oh, be careful, which I don't like anyway, right?
01:03:49.599 --> 01:03:50.960
Oh, be careful on that bike.
01:03:51.039 --> 01:03:52.159
Be careful, like, go for it.
01:03:52.239 --> 01:03:53.760
Why do you want to be careful and cautious?
01:03:53.840 --> 01:03:54.320
I don't want to.
01:03:54.400 --> 01:03:59.679
I'm going to fall, so let me fall and just say, have fun, or it looks like you have good balance.
01:04:00.000 --> 01:04:02.400
So she she was trying, you know, not to trip.
01:04:02.480 --> 01:04:03.599
And of course, you know, we're watching.
01:04:03.679 --> 01:04:05.280
We don't want to trip in the fire.
01:04:05.760 --> 01:04:08.480
As adults, you kind of hover, but don't smother.
01:04:08.800 --> 01:04:13.760
And he said, Oh, be careful, don't fall, you'll you'll mess up your pretty face.
01:04:14.239 --> 01:04:15.360
Because she's super cute.
01:04:15.519 --> 01:04:18.159
I mean, granted, she's just really she was a cute little kid.
01:04:18.320 --> 01:04:19.280
Let's just say that.
01:04:19.519 --> 01:04:25.360
But I said, Oh, but you know, it's okay if you do, you'll be fine.
01:04:25.519 --> 01:04:28.079
And then the next day he said the same type of thing.
01:04:28.159 --> 01:04:38.320
And it wasn't a a I recognized the the his comment at the beginning that it was not okay because it's placing value on her looks.
01:04:38.639 --> 01:04:43.840
By the second time he said it the second day, then I had a really good response, a much better response.
01:04:43.920 --> 01:04:45.760
And I said, Oh, but you know what?
01:04:45.840 --> 01:04:50.320
If you do fall and hurt your face, it doesn't matter because we don't value you with basically how you look.
01:04:50.480 --> 01:04:53.440
And he just sort of looked at me like I was a crazy person.
01:04:53.679 --> 01:04:56.960
Hopefully, it's planting the seeds that he'll get it one day.
01:04:57.199 --> 01:05:13.840
But this um, there's a lot of that that just happens within women naturally, even in the sometimes it's it's obvious like that or verbal, other times it's sub sub not subliminal, but more less overt.
01:05:14.239 --> 01:05:21.840
For example, if you think about women leadership movies um and men leadership movies, if you think Batman, right?
01:05:21.920 --> 01:05:28.000
There's I'm a rich man and I'm here to save the world, or there were two examples.
01:05:28.079 --> 01:05:38.639
I can't remember the other one he gave, some other movie that was a man in leadership that was rich and he was doing good and loved and saving the world.
01:05:38.880 --> 01:05:44.159
And then he's this, I think it was a man that was a teacher that I got this from.
01:05:44.480 --> 01:05:49.519
Then he gave two examples of women movies, and it was Cruella and The Devil Wears Product.
01:05:51.199 --> 01:05:59.599
Successful women they're not saving the world, they are portrayed as evil or bad, you know, not.
01:06:00.239 --> 01:06:02.880
Nice and cutthroat and all these problems.
01:06:03.039 --> 01:06:14.960
And for me, it was one of these, another, yet another, one of these with my brain realizing there's so many subconscious things that women are supposed to conform to.
01:06:15.519 --> 01:06:20.159
So I really love that you are you're touching on that with your listeners.
01:06:20.320 --> 01:06:28.880
You're you just were talking about why can't I wear that dress or those glasses or be this way or step into that thing?
01:06:29.440 --> 01:06:48.719
It's becoming a, I think it's for me, my journey is also becoming aware of just all this stuff that I've gotten communicated to me through church, through social media, through movies that tell me how it is that people want me to be.
01:06:49.440 --> 01:06:53.039
And I I'm I'm not that mold.
01:06:53.119 --> 01:06:54.239
I just am not that mold.
01:06:54.320 --> 01:06:55.599
We don't have children.
01:06:55.920 --> 01:06:58.400
I I love business.
01:06:58.639 --> 01:07:05.760
I am not the traditional church person, but I have in the past tried to do all of the things.
01:07:06.000 --> 01:07:06.559
Yep.
01:07:06.800 --> 01:07:07.199
Ugh.
01:07:07.360 --> 01:07:11.039
And it doesn't fit because it's not your coat or shoes to wear.
01:07:11.280 --> 01:07:12.800
And it's exhausting.
01:07:13.039 --> 01:07:14.079
And I'm exhausting.
01:07:14.159 --> 01:07:22.000
I'm grateful that my husband has grown with me in this awareness of roles and responsibilities and all the things.
01:07:22.159 --> 01:07:24.800
Um, we still are, you know, therapy's great.
01:07:25.039 --> 01:07:28.239
We're still growing together after 25 years.
01:07:28.480 --> 01:07:30.079
And I'm really grateful for him.
01:07:30.239 --> 01:07:36.639
I cannot imagine if I'd married um some of those boyfriends I had when I was in my young 20s.
01:07:36.880 --> 01:07:37.280
Same.
01:07:37.840 --> 01:07:41.840
Oh I look at older ones and I think that would have never worked, and I would have been miserable.
01:07:41.920 --> 01:07:43.360
And they were so cute back then.
01:07:43.440 --> 01:07:46.639
But oh, thank you that I didn't do that.
01:07:46.880 --> 01:07:52.159
Because I do have a man who's very comfortable with, you know, we learned early on to create a marriage that works for us.
01:07:52.400 --> 01:07:54.480
He loves to, he doesn't cook as often.
01:07:54.559 --> 01:07:57.760
I would as I would prefer him to be in the kitchen, and I say that all the time.
01:07:58.000 --> 01:07:59.519
But I like mowing the lawn.
01:07:59.679 --> 01:08:02.320
He likes cooking, and it's like, that's okay.
01:08:02.480 --> 01:08:04.239
Yeah, just don't put me in the kitchen.
01:08:04.400 --> 01:08:06.719
And I've tried to be the woman who likes likes to cook.
01:08:06.800 --> 01:08:07.199
I hate it.
01:08:07.280 --> 01:08:08.079
I hate everything about it.
01:08:08.239 --> 01:08:10.960
I want my family to cook, I mean, to eat really well.
01:08:11.119 --> 01:08:12.960
I just don't want to have to be the one to do it.
01:08:13.440 --> 01:08:13.760
All right.
01:08:13.840 --> 01:08:18.239
So I don't want to leave before we actually talk about your business because you have a cool name.
01:08:18.479 --> 01:08:18.880
Thank you.
01:08:19.119 --> 01:08:22.720
So tell the viewers the name of your business and what that actually means.
01:08:22.960 --> 01:08:28.640
Yeah, when I was um somewhere in my late teens, my parents were 20 years apart in age.
01:08:28.800 --> 01:08:30.800
So that was big, that's a big gap.
01:08:30.960 --> 01:08:43.279
And during birthdays, holidays, well, actually, whether you're 30 or 40, I think maybe it was 40, 50, you'd get these birthday cards, black balloons, over the hill, like, oh, it's all downhill from now.
01:08:43.520 --> 01:08:45.840
That was the messaging that I was receiving.
01:08:46.079 --> 01:08:51.920
And I thought, I remember thinking, wait a minute.
01:08:52.800 --> 01:08:57.760
Even as before I was 20, I thought, life's not over when you're 30 or 40.
01:08:57.920 --> 01:09:01.680
I see these women in their 60s and they're pretty dang amazing.
01:09:01.840 --> 01:09:06.640
I made a conscious decision at that point that every decade I would get better in some way.
01:09:06.880 --> 01:09:09.439
There's a natural age progression with my body.
01:09:09.600 --> 01:09:16.640
I'm not talking about I'm, you know, all stronger, but there's different ways to progress and become better each year, each decade.
01:09:16.800 --> 01:09:27.439
I didn't want to just sit, you know, go to work, come home and sit in front of the, we call it the boob tube at the time, sit in front of the TV and watch stuff and let my life just go away.
01:09:27.600 --> 01:09:35.279
Because those tiny little actions that we take, tiny little habits, they add up over a long period of time.
01:09:35.520 --> 01:09:38.960
So I decided that I would I loved continual improvement.
01:09:39.119 --> 01:09:43.920
Like I didn't have a TV after I got out of school or after the home.
01:09:44.079 --> 01:09:46.159
We didn't get to watch lots of TV.
01:09:46.239 --> 01:09:51.920
We had to watch, or we got to pick, I think, one show a day, which was a half hour.
01:09:52.079 --> 01:09:58.399
So with three kids, we got to watch an hour and a half of TV a day, which is still a lot when you add it up.
01:09:58.640 --> 01:10:00.640
Um and then we had to go outside.
01:10:00.960 --> 01:10:05.039
And um I decided that I would just wanted to continually improve.
01:10:05.199 --> 01:10:11.039
And I know I have weaknesses, I will binge watch something and dumb stuff for a long time.
01:10:11.119 --> 01:10:12.720
So I had to put my own parameters.
01:10:12.960 --> 01:10:13.920
I didn't have a TV.
01:10:14.079 --> 01:10:15.119
Jeff and I got married.
01:10:15.199 --> 01:10:16.319
We didn't have a TV.
01:10:16.479 --> 01:10:28.239
When he started training for a full Iron Man, we got a TV so that when he's training on the bike stationary for five hours in the winter inside, he could watch football or a movie or something.
01:10:28.479 --> 01:10:36.399
So we have Netflix, and I still have a hard time pushing myself away from that one thing, right?
01:10:36.560 --> 01:10:42.560
It's it's it's a hard habit because it's so social media, it's made to be made to be addictive.
01:10:42.800 --> 01:10:46.319
So I decided that I wanted just to continually improve.
01:10:47.039 --> 01:10:49.439
And sometimes that means learning how to rest.
01:10:49.600 --> 01:10:51.439
It doesn't always mean activity.
01:10:52.000 --> 01:10:52.399
Yep.
01:10:52.640 --> 01:10:57.600
So when I I don't remember how old I was, it was after I had the hotel.
01:10:57.840 --> 01:11:03.439
I found that there was a word, I discovered there was a word in Japanese that actually meant continual improvement.
01:11:03.600 --> 01:11:08.159
And I got so excited that I decided, oh, I want that as my business name.
01:11:08.399 --> 01:11:09.520
And it's Kaizen.
01:11:10.319 --> 01:11:13.920
Kaizen means is Japanese for continual improvement.
01:11:14.239 --> 01:11:18.960
So my business currently is Kaizen Coaching and Consulting or Kaizen.zone.
01:11:19.520 --> 01:11:27.119
And spoiler a word, I'm looking at maybe some domain names that actually have my name because it's sometimes hard for people that like, who are you?
01:11:27.199 --> 01:11:29.840
They don't always remember Kaizen or know how to spell it.
01:11:30.000 --> 01:11:39.039
Um, and it's also a big uh it's it's a whole it's a whole system, a whole business, a whole, you know, in manufacturing.
01:11:39.119 --> 01:11:39.920
It's really big.
01:11:40.159 --> 01:11:43.359
So for me, it just means continual improvement.
01:11:43.520 --> 01:11:44.479
Take the next step.
01:11:45.199 --> 01:11:59.520
Before before um COVID, we Jeff and I got our garbage reduced to two cans to the curb for the year total.
01:12:01.840 --> 01:12:05.920
Okay, you can't just drop that one and I can't move on.
01:12:06.000 --> 01:12:07.199
So you gotta tell me more.
01:12:07.439 --> 01:12:10.560
How in the world did you do that?
01:12:10.880 --> 01:12:15.199
Just the same way that I just said that I jumped from teaching to having the hotel.
01:12:15.439 --> 01:12:16.720
Take the next step.
01:12:16.880 --> 01:12:17.840
I have a girlfriend.
01:12:17.920 --> 01:12:19.680
I actually told you this at our mastermind.
01:12:19.760 --> 01:12:22.159
You remind me so much of my friend Nancy.
01:12:22.399 --> 01:12:24.640
Nancy, I think they had, let's see, how many kids do they have?
01:12:24.800 --> 01:12:25.279
Five.
01:12:25.520 --> 01:12:27.760
And when I told her that, she just went like this.
01:12:27.840 --> 01:12:30.720
She threw her hands up and thought, I can't, there's no way I can do that.
01:12:30.800 --> 01:12:31.840
There's just no way.
01:12:32.079 --> 01:12:38.079
And I said to her, you don't have to go from here, point A to point B, like overnight, just take the next step.
01:12:38.319 --> 01:12:44.000
And for her, she came back and said, that phrase, just take the next step, made it a lot easier.
01:12:44.239 --> 01:12:46.159
Our journey didn't happen overnight.
01:12:46.399 --> 01:12:48.560
Are we at two cans of the curb now?
01:12:48.800 --> 01:12:52.880
No, because after when COVID happened, we developed a potato chip problem.
01:12:54.800 --> 01:12:59.600
But we're a little more, but it's just taking the next step.
01:12:59.760 --> 01:13:05.039
I saw a video where a woman had produced the amount of garbage for the year she could fit in her hand.
01:13:05.600 --> 01:13:07.119
And I thought, what the heck?
01:13:07.600 --> 01:13:10.159
And what I just started, it raised my awareness.
01:13:10.319 --> 01:13:14.560
And I thought, okay, I'm not going to be making my own soaps and lotions and all these things.
01:13:14.640 --> 01:13:16.720
I that's not my cup of tea.
01:13:17.199 --> 01:13:18.159
And that's okay.
01:13:18.399 --> 01:13:21.760
But what can I do to reduce my plastic use?
01:13:22.000 --> 01:13:24.880
Because plastic I it just does not go away.
01:13:25.039 --> 01:13:26.560
We don't have the technology.
01:13:26.800 --> 01:13:32.560
It just it's it's created and it's here for grandchildren and grandchildren's grandchildren.
01:13:32.720 --> 01:13:33.920
It just yeah, yeah.
01:13:34.079 --> 01:13:38.560
So my fight against that is to reduce my single-use plastic.
01:13:38.800 --> 01:13:41.520
Although, again, we've developed chip pop potato chip.
01:13:41.760 --> 01:13:45.119
Okay, but that's only like one plastics, one thing.
01:13:45.439 --> 01:13:49.359
I I'm pretty sure I would have more in my garbage if I just took all the plastics out.
01:13:49.520 --> 01:13:51.760
So, how how how did you do that?
01:13:52.239 --> 01:13:57.119
Composting and recycling, the most important thing was choosing what we're buying.
01:13:57.199 --> 01:13:58.479
I'm buying at the store.
01:13:58.720 --> 01:14:01.600
So I complete gospel.
01:14:01.760 --> 01:14:02.960
This is the gospel.
01:14:03.199 --> 01:14:11.199
It took me well over a year to remember to bring the stupid bag from my car into the grocery store so that I wasn't getting a bag.
01:14:11.359 --> 01:14:14.239
It took me so I had it in my car.
01:14:14.560 --> 01:14:19.199
And so I finally made myself, I would be in the grocery store doing my thing.
01:14:19.359 --> 01:14:20.479
It's a habit, right?
01:14:20.640 --> 01:14:24.640
And then I would get to the checkout and realize, oh, I want my bag, so I'd just get one.
01:14:24.960 --> 01:14:31.920
After I got annoyed enough with myself, I thought, okay, leave your basket here, go back out to the car and get it.
01:14:32.079 --> 01:14:35.680
Like it's a natural consequence, just like we set up with our children.
01:14:35.920 --> 01:14:37.840
Oh, you forgot your homework.
01:14:38.239 --> 01:14:41.279
That's a national, you know, and I'm out of town or whatever.
01:14:41.600 --> 01:14:43.600
There's a natural consequence behind it.
01:14:43.760 --> 01:14:45.520
So that's incredible.
01:14:45.920 --> 01:14:50.640
It was just that first step, just remembering to bring the stupid bag.
01:14:50.960 --> 01:14:52.720
And then we don't have children.
01:14:52.800 --> 01:15:00.399
So I got, even though we had a Costco membership, I got rid of the Costco membership because it has so much plastic and I don't really need that much stuff.
01:15:00.640 --> 01:15:10.000
And then the third thing was using the bins at the um the like bulk bins rather than buying them, buying the thing.
01:15:10.159 --> 01:15:13.039
So I'll go and I'll get the bulk bins of nuts.
01:15:13.199 --> 01:15:15.279
Do you can or no, you you hate cooking.
01:15:15.359 --> 01:15:16.640
You probably haven't canned.
01:15:18.239 --> 01:15:20.319
I want to want to be like that.
01:15:20.720 --> 01:15:22.399
I so don't want to be like that though.
01:15:22.640 --> 01:15:23.279
Don't do it.
01:15:23.520 --> 01:15:37.680
If you if for the people who do can, or and you can probably imagine there's a lot of work in canning, like say, say peaches, and then you have your quart jars and you get them all lined up, they're pressure cooked or whatever, and then you put them out on the counter and they pop, pop, pop, pop.
01:15:37.760 --> 01:15:38.159
It's very fun.
01:15:38.560 --> 01:15:39.279
You do that?
01:15:39.600 --> 01:15:40.239
I have.
01:15:41.039 --> 01:15:56.800
But the there's a satisfaction if you can put in your mind's eye, imagining all the work is lined up and it's they're beautiful in their jars, they're really pretty, and there's a lot of satisfaction of just leaving them there for a while so you can admire your beautiful work.
01:15:57.039 --> 01:15:57.840
All your work.
01:15:58.000 --> 01:15:58.640
Yeah.
01:15:59.039 --> 01:16:16.960
So when I transitioned from buying just being aware of how much plastic I was buying, like with chips or nuts in the bags, and then I would use um there's some places will let you bring your own jars in, some places won't.
01:16:17.039 --> 01:16:28.479
I use paper, like I'll go to the mushroom place and get the paper bags to fill up if I can't bring my own jars in, and then filling up, say, pecans in that quart jar.
01:16:28.640 --> 01:16:31.119
And I put that quart jar in my cupboard.
01:16:31.279 --> 01:16:41.279
The same, oddly, the same beautiful and admiring satisfaction it is of looking at your peaches all canned or whatever.
01:16:41.439 --> 01:16:47.279
It's the same kind of effect for me to look at how pretty the nuts are in the I'm sure.
01:16:47.439 --> 01:16:48.960
And it looks so organized.
01:16:49.199 --> 01:16:50.640
Yeah, I would I would love that.
01:16:50.800 --> 01:16:51.199
Yeah.
01:16:51.520 --> 01:16:52.880
Anyway, just take the next step.
01:16:52.960 --> 01:16:55.520
You don't have to Rome wasn't built in a day, baby.
01:16:55.680 --> 01:17:03.920
Just whatever the well, if you need any tips, uh Samantha's contacts will be in the Ohio.
01:17:04.319 --> 01:17:10.880
But I do tell me about uh because and I would encourage you, if you if you want to check Samantha out, go to her website.
01:17:11.039 --> 01:17:18.399
Your website is really one, it's very um attractive, it's very aesthetically, as my girls would say, aesthetically pleasing to the eye.
01:17:18.640 --> 01:17:19.119
Thank you.
01:17:19.279 --> 01:17:23.680
Um, but when you just look at clips of you, you are a teacher through and through.
01:17:23.760 --> 01:17:25.600
I mean, all through here you're teaching me.
01:17:25.840 --> 01:17:30.159
When you look at you online, the little clips that I watch of you, you're teaching.
01:17:30.319 --> 01:17:31.439
I just wanted to sit and watch you.
01:17:31.520 --> 01:17:44.960
And I sent you a message saying, I really do enjoy your videos because you are you literally are a teacher through and through, and you speak in a way you have this energy, you're very inviting to engage with, even though you're not asking me anything.
01:17:45.279 --> 01:17:48.079
Um you're a keynote speaker.
01:17:48.159 --> 01:17:53.119
And so if people wanted to have you come in, where's your ideal?
01:17:53.199 --> 01:17:56.399
I guess your ideal audience or crowd that you'd like to speak to.
01:17:56.720 --> 01:18:05.520
I love to speak to leaders um that value people with the uplifted hand things, not the squosh thumb thing.
01:18:05.760 --> 01:18:15.600
I love speaking to hospitality groups, um, anything people retention, not HR, but people retention and customer experience curation.
01:18:16.399 --> 01:18:25.199
Uh customer curating the customer experience is where it's at if we are growing a profitable business.
01:18:25.680 --> 01:18:30.880
Because uh customer retention is uh founded in two areas.
01:18:31.039 --> 01:18:37.520
There's customer experience there's two big pillars.
01:18:37.680 --> 01:18:41.600
There's retaining the customer and retaining staff.
01:18:43.119 --> 01:18:51.600
When we uh curate the experience and we are supporting staff and educating them as to how to make this happen, staff are more engaged.
01:18:51.680 --> 01:18:54.560
It's so much fun for them to start thinking about.
01:18:54.800 --> 01:19:02.159
And like a woman who is going back into the workspace when she has had kids, you're always thinking about other people.
01:19:02.479 --> 01:19:17.600
It is a very natural progression or next step because hospitality, whether you're a barista, whether you're working at a bakery or a hotel, um customer service is exactly that.
01:19:17.760 --> 01:19:20.720
It's noticing other people and serving their needs.
01:19:20.800 --> 01:19:21.840
It's selfless.
01:19:22.079 --> 01:19:28.079
Service is selfless, and that is a descriptor of so many women that I know.
01:19:28.239 --> 01:19:29.119
Oh my gosh.
01:19:29.359 --> 01:19:32.479
So um I went off track there and I found your question.
01:19:34.079 --> 01:19:35.600
Um website.
01:19:35.760 --> 01:19:37.119
Oh, thank you for the website.
01:19:37.279 --> 01:19:38.079
I didn't do it.
01:19:38.239 --> 01:19:41.039
Um, and thank you for the the note on the videos.
01:19:41.119 --> 01:19:42.399
I have somebody who helps me do it.
01:19:42.479 --> 01:19:45.199
I do the raw things, and then she puts it together.
01:19:45.439 --> 01:19:48.880
Where people can what I was asking was your niche.
01:19:49.039 --> 01:19:51.920
Like, who do you really who if somebody wanted to hire you?
01:19:52.079 --> 01:19:54.159
Where's your what's your jam?
01:19:54.479 --> 01:19:55.840
Curating the customer experience.
01:19:56.000 --> 01:19:58.720
So I love speaking about the customer experience.
01:19:58.880 --> 01:20:08.079
I have a special customer journey map that I created, and it's different than the online ones that look in uh that look like a a path, a horizontal path.
01:20:08.239 --> 01:20:25.359
Mine is on purpose in a circle because one fancy statistic, it takes it costs six to seven times more money to acquire a customer than to keep one.
01:20:26.560 --> 01:20:35.600
Anytime I'm teaching or doing a workshop, that knowing your ideal client and who you want to attract and retain is key.
01:20:36.319 --> 01:20:39.920
That can be the client or that can be the staff.
01:20:40.239 --> 01:20:42.640
And then curating the journey is super important.
01:20:42.800 --> 01:20:52.239
So, my ideal client for speaking is if you want to improve your staff retention and your customer retention, hit me up, baby.
01:20:52.720 --> 01:20:56.479
Yeah, you say this, you say this um on your website.
01:20:56.720 --> 01:21:00.479
Would you like a team that's full of great ideas to improve upon what you already built?
01:21:00.640 --> 01:21:08.319
How about a team so fulfilled that turnover is rare and you have a wait list of high-quality people waiting for you to open a position?
01:21:08.560 --> 01:21:10.000
Sound like a dream, right?
01:21:10.239 --> 01:21:12.800
Making dreams into reality, click away.
01:21:13.520 --> 01:21:23.359
And it's just I I feel like you are whether you're making cookies or you're literally speaking to crowds, you really are about pouring into people.
01:21:23.600 --> 01:21:23.920
Really?
01:21:24.000 --> 01:21:26.720
It's that it's it's in everything you do.
01:21:26.800 --> 01:21:30.159
It's in and I and I love what you say here.
01:21:30.239 --> 01:21:31.359
You how did you do it?
01:21:31.600 --> 01:21:37.359
Talking about um, you know, going into your story about getting the hotel and doing all that.
01:21:37.520 --> 01:21:38.319
How did you do it?
01:21:38.399 --> 01:21:42.640
Your website tells us you say by transforming people into partners.
01:21:43.439 --> 01:21:45.359
Yeah, how do they become a partner?
01:21:45.520 --> 01:21:48.560
Because some people are like, Yep, I pay her, she works, she's a part-time worker here.
01:21:48.800 --> 01:21:50.239
They even refer to people that way.
01:21:50.399 --> 01:21:56.159
Yeah, how do you you have to see them as a partner and treat them as a partner before they buy into that?
01:21:56.319 --> 01:21:58.479
So yeah, that's it.
01:21:58.640 --> 01:21:59.279
You just said it.
01:21:59.359 --> 01:22:00.399
You just said the answer.
01:22:00.640 --> 01:22:11.359
It's yeah, you have yep, as a leader, if people, if we want people to act like partners, then we don't have a staff meeting where we're just delivering information.
01:22:11.600 --> 01:22:22.319
If I'm a staff person, I want to come, I will be motivated to come to a meeting where I am getting information and knowledge, and I'm also giving input.
01:22:22.560 --> 01:22:28.399
It's not a one-way ship and it takes time and it's frustrating.
01:22:28.640 --> 01:22:42.399
But to set up our meetings or our trainings so that people are understanding their power and their influence, like in the Power of People Academy, that's the first, the first module, I talk about that very thing.
01:22:42.640 --> 01:22:55.199
Because if I am, say, a barista or I'm a front desk person, if I don't understand, first of all, how valuable I am, when Dana comes in and gets her coffee, like I'm talking to my coworker.
01:22:55.279 --> 01:22:56.000
I'm on my phone.
01:22:56.079 --> 01:22:59.119
I'm like, you know, what do you want?
01:22:59.680 --> 01:23:19.760
But when I understand, first of all, how valuable I am to the customer experience, and then my leader followed it up with some training and some support, I start to show up and understand that even if this job is a temporary job, it's a stepping stone, I still have incredible power to make a difference in my community.
01:23:20.159 --> 01:23:21.439
It matters.
01:23:21.840 --> 01:23:34.560
That person is reflecting a leader's or an owner's business, whether they feel like whether the staff feels like they're temporary or like it's their dream job.
01:23:34.800 --> 01:23:38.079
They have to know how influential they are.
01:23:38.399 --> 01:23:46.239
Those customer service, anybody in front facing customer service at a hotel, even the housekeepers, I trained my housekeeper on this.
01:23:46.479 --> 01:23:50.720
You have to look at the person that is coming by you in the hallway.
01:23:50.880 --> 01:23:52.880
You look at them, you smile, and you greet them.
01:23:53.039 --> 01:24:01.359
I'm not inviting them for a conversation if I'm a housekeeper because I got stuff to do, but I am acknowledging that customer and their presence.
01:24:01.600 --> 01:24:10.479
How many times have you been in a hotel and it's like you're a leper walking through the hallway and the housekeepers are hiding their stuff and they are avoiding eye contact?
01:24:10.720 --> 01:24:22.800
They have they have an incredible amount of power to curate the customer experience and make me or help me feel valued as a guest and make me want to return more.
01:24:23.039 --> 01:24:30.000
So you answered your own question, and it has to do with an attitude of valuing your people.
01:24:31.119 --> 01:24:31.520
Period.
01:24:31.680 --> 01:24:32.399
Baseline.
01:24:33.039 --> 01:24:33.600
How do you think?
01:24:33.920 --> 01:24:34.399
Oh, go ahead.
01:24:34.479 --> 01:24:34.640
Sorry.
01:24:34.880 --> 01:24:47.279
But it what I've I've not worked with leaders that don't have that value where they're like the thumb on the finger and it's my way or the highway, or yeah, I just have high turnover.
01:24:47.359 --> 01:24:49.119
It's just the way it is all the time.
01:24:49.359 --> 01:24:56.079
Like there are industries that have higher turnover, but why do we want to be on the sucky part of those statistics?
01:24:56.239 --> 01:25:04.079
Like, do as much as we can to move the needle so that it's we're on the people look at your business and go, what are you doing?
01:25:04.159 --> 01:25:07.119
Because my turnover is like this and yours is like this.
01:25:07.279 --> 01:25:13.840
So one of the things that uh it sounds like that you this will be my last question.
01:25:13.920 --> 01:25:18.640
I'm gonna have to have you back on again because I have like five pages that I really wanted to talk to you about.
01:25:18.960 --> 01:25:20.560
And I didn't even get to three of them.
01:25:20.800 --> 01:25:21.039
Wow.
01:25:21.199 --> 01:25:30.640
But I do wanna I do want to talk about just briefly as we close, is your culture cards because I so my husband is a cult, he's been known as the culture guy.
01:25:30.800 --> 01:25:36.399
His company, when he first uh started his company in 2014, it was called Culture by Design.
01:25:36.479 --> 01:25:37.680
It means all about culture.
01:25:37.840 --> 01:25:41.039
He worked in HR, then he branched out and did his own thing.
01:25:41.359 --> 01:25:45.359
Um and so we talk about culture a lot.
01:25:45.520 --> 01:25:48.800
We even talk about culture as what what's the culture of our family?
01:25:48.960 --> 01:25:54.000
Like why what's different about ours than other people, not right or wrong, just what works for us.
01:25:54.079 --> 01:26:03.680
And so we have those conversations, and um, but you in one of our mastermind meetings, you brought and when you presented, you had a present that day and you shared with us culture cards.
01:26:03.760 --> 01:26:06.960
And I was like, oh my gosh, my husband would probably like these.
01:26:07.279 --> 01:26:10.479
And um, genius, tell me about what you created.
01:26:10.640 --> 01:26:11.840
Why did you create them in the first place?
01:26:11.920 --> 01:26:14.239
Oh what sparked that creativity?
01:26:14.640 --> 01:26:15.119
Thank you.
01:26:15.279 --> 01:26:18.319
Let's put two things in the in the the the notes.
01:26:18.479 --> 01:26:20.880
I'll put the recipe for those cookies that you love.
01:26:21.199 --> 01:26:22.079
Okay, great.
01:26:22.319 --> 01:26:24.960
Because there's no wheat, it's just they're crumbly.
01:26:25.039 --> 01:26:33.920
So FYI, if people make those peanut butter cookies, they're crumbly, so don't eat them over the floor, though you'll have to clean up unless you have a dog, then they'll love you.
01:26:34.079 --> 01:26:35.199
They're not that bad, I have to say.
01:26:35.439 --> 01:26:35.520
Okay.
01:26:35.840 --> 01:26:36.880
Well, I've always made them crumb.
01:26:39.920 --> 01:26:40.239
Yeah.
01:26:40.399 --> 01:26:44.720
I mean, maybe problem eating and not having things come.
01:26:45.199 --> 01:26:45.520
Uh-huh.
01:26:46.399 --> 01:26:46.720
Okay.
01:26:47.039 --> 01:26:48.960
Well, my table manners.
01:26:49.119 --> 01:26:51.520
So um this is thank you for asking.
01:26:51.600 --> 01:26:54.720
So we'll put the the recipe for the peanut butter cookies in there.
01:26:55.119 --> 01:26:57.279
And then also I'll put a link for this culture deck.
01:26:57.359 --> 01:26:58.000
So thanks for asking.
01:26:58.079 --> 01:26:58.560
Yes, please.
01:26:58.720 --> 01:26:59.680
I we will do that.
01:27:00.000 --> 01:27:09.279
This is born from one of the things I wished, I wish I had this tool when I led people in the hotel.
01:27:10.319 --> 01:27:21.439
When I'm working with leaders now, one of the pain points that it's all it's constant is what content do I have during meetings because I want to give people information.
01:27:21.680 --> 01:27:26.079
But as a staff, I don't just want to receive it because I check out.
01:27:26.319 --> 01:27:28.159
So it's got to be a give and a get.
01:27:28.319 --> 01:27:33.199
So I give information and then I need to receive information as a leader and as a staff.
01:27:33.359 --> 01:27:36.800
Otherwise, I don't even want to come to the meeting as a staff member.
01:27:37.039 --> 01:27:47.039
So, what the deck is is grounded in is um uplifting, educating, and supporting people to understand their power and their influence.
01:27:47.199 --> 01:27:52.000
So it's weekly because leaders have a job already.
01:27:52.159 --> 01:27:54.640
And this is like a tool in the tool belt.
01:27:54.720 --> 01:27:57.199
The Power of People Academy is online training.
01:27:57.359 --> 01:27:58.479
It's more in depth.
01:27:58.640 --> 01:27:59.760
This is the first easiest.
01:28:00.079 --> 01:28:01.119
Low-hanging fruit.
01:28:01.199 --> 01:28:04.800
So I created this deck and there are 52 cards.
01:28:04.960 --> 01:28:07.279
So it's called creating a culture deck.
01:28:08.159 --> 01:28:32.960
52 cards that educate, support, uplift, and um challenge people, whether it's in front-facing customer service position or skills, or some of the cards are developed uh for interpersonal communication and uplifting because a strong team, I just like a classroom, they can get no, I feel like I'm in a class right now.
01:28:33.039 --> 01:28:34.720
I'm like a teacher.
01:28:34.960 --> 01:28:38.960
So, like this one, this one is one of my favorite ones.
01:28:39.119 --> 01:28:42.319
So if I was a leader, I have a quick team meeting, a weekly stand-up.
01:28:42.479 --> 01:28:53.039
You can use it how often you want, but drip irrigation, oftentimes leaders they create great manuals and training things, and they're all about how you do stuff, but not how you do the people stuff.
01:28:53.359 --> 01:29:00.319
The people stuff is more important than the and knowing how to fix mistakes is more important than the things.
01:29:00.960 --> 01:29:21.279
Example, um if you and I go to a coffee shop to get my non-coffee and your coffee or tea, and we it's a first time that someone's working and we feel like we're an interruption to their work, not the reason for their work, we don't feel as customers valued.
01:29:21.760 --> 01:29:29.840
If I if we go and you and I go and we have this person we want to invite and treat and really impress them, and we're checking them out.
01:29:30.000 --> 01:29:37.279
We go in, we have a great mocha or tea or whatever, but the service feels like we're an interruption.
01:29:37.439 --> 01:29:44.479
They're not friendly, they don't answer questions, they don't see us looking around, wondering if there's something to eat, they are talking to other people.
01:29:44.640 --> 01:29:46.800
It's just they're not eye contact.
01:29:47.119 --> 01:29:50.800
We're not going to get a gift certificate for someone we want to impress.
01:29:51.039 --> 01:30:05.199
On the other hand, so most people teach how you make the good thing because I didn't get in business as a, you know, um, say a coffee shop owner or a bakery owner because I'm excited about training people.
01:30:05.520 --> 01:30:07.279
I'm excited about my product.
01:30:07.600 --> 01:30:09.439
But the people sell your product.
01:30:09.680 --> 01:30:10.479
So correct.
01:30:10.960 --> 01:30:20.159
Um, if you and I go into the coffee shop, we have a mediocre mocha, but a great experience with the new barista, the old barista, time and time and time again.
01:30:20.319 --> 01:30:23.520
We're going back because we feel seen and valued as people.
01:30:23.680 --> 01:30:30.000
We will forgive mistakes and a mess up on my order when the people help us.
01:30:30.239 --> 01:30:32.640
So this is it's drip irrigation.
01:30:32.800 --> 01:30:39.840
So I find that the people skills and the culture development is something that leaders often, I would have loved this, need help with.
01:30:40.000 --> 01:30:41.520
So this is one card.
01:30:43.039 --> 01:30:43.840
Do you want to read that?
01:30:44.000 --> 01:30:44.479
Can you read it?
01:30:44.560 --> 01:30:45.039
It's a close.
01:30:45.359 --> 01:30:46.159
No, I can't read it from here.
01:30:46.319 --> 01:30:46.960
You're gonna have to read it.
01:30:47.199 --> 01:30:47.359
Okay.
01:30:47.520 --> 01:30:53.279
It says 70% of buying experiences are based on how a customer feels they're being treated.
01:30:53.680 --> 01:30:57.520
So if you and I are in a staff meeting, this is the card for the week.
01:30:57.760 --> 01:31:01.680
And then because I was a teacher, there's a question on the back.
01:31:01.760 --> 01:31:03.199
You don't even have to think about it.
01:31:03.439 --> 01:31:11.520
The question is, what's one experience outside our business you had this week where you felt you were being treated well?
01:31:12.239 --> 01:31:35.920
What these are designed to do is to uplift, educate, support, challenge, create connection and honestly ruin people so that your people are all the time looking when they go other places and they're starting to think critically about their customer experience because then they transfer it so good to your business.
01:31:36.159 --> 01:31:36.880
So thank you.
01:31:37.039 --> 01:31:37.359
Thanks.
01:31:37.600 --> 01:31:48.640
And it has to, it has to spark great conversations between leadership, you know, staff, leadership, growth opportunities, connection, mentoring, like all the things.
01:31:48.880 --> 01:31:49.039
Yeah.
01:31:49.279 --> 01:31:50.399
That's that's the goal.
01:31:50.640 --> 01:31:52.640
It doesn't work if it's on the shelf.
01:31:53.359 --> 01:31:53.920
It doesn't.
01:31:54.000 --> 01:31:54.640
You gotta use it.
01:31:54.960 --> 01:32:02.720
I love that my husband and I use a lot of the, we buy a lot of those conversation cards, and we'll take them, we'll, we'll, we'll do them wherever we go.
01:32:02.880 --> 01:32:04.960
So I really enjoy them because you get tighter.
01:32:05.039 --> 01:32:15.439
And I would think as a staff, when you can ask those questions or get aware, because some of this is like ignorance like, oh, I never thought of that before, but it's you're right, you know, when I feel I do go to this store because I feel that way.
01:32:15.520 --> 01:32:23.359
Or so I think it could really that connection again, building community becomes a place where you not only belong here but could grow here.
01:32:23.600 --> 01:32:29.199
You can mess up here, be challenged here, where others are just like, do your job, you're all right, clock out.
01:32:29.439 --> 01:32:29.600
Yeah.
01:32:29.760 --> 01:32:37.840
And as a customer, if you had, let's say there are two pizza chains, like Papa Murphy's and Abby's, I don't know what another one is.
01:32:38.079 --> 01:32:38.319
Yeah.
01:32:38.479 --> 01:32:54.880
But if you and I went, let's say the whole franchise is doing these cards, they're starting to understand a new person comes in, they get folded into the culture right away, and they're starting to understand how to deliver excellent, consistently excellent customer services.
01:32:55.039 --> 01:32:55.760
So experiences.
01:32:56.000 --> 01:32:56.399
What's that?
01:32:56.720 --> 01:33:06.560
Can you imagine how much more loyal we would be to a franchise brand that used cards like these and valued their people in developing the culture?
01:33:06.800 --> 01:33:08.479
This one is I love that.
01:33:08.720 --> 01:33:11.760
Wake up, be kind, be brave, be you, be amazing.
01:33:12.000 --> 01:33:15.039
And then on the back, it's one thing you admire about your coworker.
01:33:15.119 --> 01:33:20.239
Pick just one person, maybe even your boss, and tell them one thing you admire.
01:33:20.399 --> 01:33:25.600
So that's an example of interpersonal communication and and creating a strong team.
01:33:25.680 --> 01:33:27.039
So yeah, I'm glad you brought that up.
01:33:27.359 --> 01:33:30.640
Okay, can you use those cards for family discussion as well?
01:33:30.800 --> 01:33:32.079
Do they transfer over some?
01:33:32.319 --> 01:33:33.119
Let me see.
01:33:33.359 --> 01:33:38.319
I think because a family has culture, friends have you could use it with friends as well, right?
01:33:38.880 --> 01:33:41.439
There's a Maya Angelo quote, this would work.
01:33:41.600 --> 01:33:49.760
Um I think there are better decks like this for families that would be more specific.
01:33:50.000 --> 01:33:52.159
This one's specifically more towards business.
01:33:52.399 --> 01:33:52.640
Business.
01:33:52.960 --> 01:33:54.479
You could use it for heck yeah.
01:33:54.560 --> 01:33:59.279
But I think there's there's better ones for specifically a family.
01:33:59.760 --> 01:34:00.960
Because these are, yeah.
01:34:01.119 --> 01:34:01.359
Yeah.
01:34:02.079 --> 01:34:02.800
But thanks for asking.
01:34:03.039 --> 01:34:03.600
I love that.
01:34:03.920 --> 01:34:05.760
I learned so much today.
01:34:06.079 --> 01:34:06.800
So did I.
01:34:07.039 --> 01:34:07.520
I did.
01:34:07.680 --> 01:34:15.199
Well, and I have to, so I'm gonna have to please promise me you'll come back because there are so much so many other things that I didn't ask you about.
01:34:15.600 --> 01:34:16.720
You're a really good teacher.
01:34:17.039 --> 01:34:18.479
You're really prepared.
01:34:19.439 --> 01:34:23.920
Well, you have you have a lot of things that a lot of people that help a lot of people.
01:34:24.000 --> 01:34:30.319
You could tell you love people by your your site, you could tell you love teaching, and you are very, very approachable.
01:34:30.560 --> 01:34:31.039
Oh, thank you.
01:34:31.359 --> 01:34:33.119
Um, it's your energy.
01:34:33.359 --> 01:34:35.119
So I I so appreciate you.
01:34:35.279 --> 01:34:36.720
I um vice versa.
01:34:37.039 --> 01:34:38.720
I miss you when you're not at Mastermind.
01:34:38.880 --> 01:34:43.439
So I'll get all because you teach the other ones.
01:34:43.760 --> 01:34:44.399
Yeah, yeah.
01:34:44.640 --> 01:34:47.119
I've had my third fly with missed one.
01:34:47.600 --> 01:34:48.159
I know.
01:34:48.239 --> 01:34:50.000
Yeah, but I'm so glad you're here.
01:34:50.239 --> 01:34:50.560
Thanks.
01:34:50.800 --> 01:34:52.159
Thanks for joining us, guys.
01:34:52.239 --> 01:34:54.319
If you want to follow Samantha, please do.
01:34:54.399 --> 01:35:07.439
If you need a keynote speaker, if you have a business that you want to improve, you know, your people, your staff, your culture, um, you want to better serve your customers and clients, then I would encourage you to reach out to her.
01:35:07.520 --> 01:35:10.319
We'll put all her information in the show notes.
01:35:10.399 --> 01:35:12.479
And if you have any questions, you can reach out to her.
01:35:12.640 --> 01:35:14.479
And uh, Samantha again, thank you.
01:35:14.720 --> 01:35:15.840
Thank you for having me.
01:35:16.000 --> 01:35:16.960
I enjoy talking to you.
01:35:17.199 --> 01:35:18.960
I just enjoy you very much.
01:35:19.520 --> 01:35:20.079
Thank you.
01:35:20.239 --> 01:35:21.520
Well, until our next show.
01:35:21.680 --> 01:35:22.880
Thank you, everybody, for listening.
01:35:23.039 --> 01:35:27.920
Please follow and share if you don't mind, and also give us a quick uh just