WEBVTT
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Welcome friends to Generations, Kevin Swanson, your host with you.
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Another segment of Discipleship for Dads with Todd Strasser, Danny Craig, and yours truly.
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And today, I the question is a big question.
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What does your family schedule look like?
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What are you doing?
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What are you doing right now?
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What are you doing?
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And why are you doing this?
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And your family schedule is a theological statement.
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So again, what whatever you're doing in terms of priorities and schedules, it pretty much indicates your commitments, your things that matter, your values.
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Your values drive your schedule.
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The things you consider important are the things that you do.
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My dad used to say this.
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He says, son, you're going to do the things that you believe to be the most important.
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Everybody does the things they believe to be the most important.
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And they spend their money on the things they believe to be the most important.
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And I thought there was a lot of wisdom to that.
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What does your schedule say about your goals, your objectives, your reason for living?
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Are you laying up treasures on earth?
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Or are you laying up treasures in heaven where moth and rust does not corrupt and where thieves do not break through and steal?
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Are you really seeking the kingdom of God in his righteousness, or are your commitments elsewhere?
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And I think these are important questions for every dad and for every family.
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And here's the other thing.
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What are we teaching our kids?
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Our kids will pick up something from our lifestyle.
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If we have you know displaced family worship just because we're on vacation, right?
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What does that communicate to our kids?
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You know, yeah.
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We've gone these big family vacations to Europe.
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We did that one time.
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We went to Disney World once, which is a total waste of time, by the way.
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Please, I plead with you, do not go.
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It was one of those discouraging and disheartening and boring experiences of our lives.
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Um but but you know, I think we did do family worship every morning, so there was a plus there.
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But um, you know, we went off to Alaska one time.
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Uh for two weeks, they dropped us off on an airplane in the middle of Alaska wilderness and did not come back for two weeks.
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So we had enough stuff.
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It was in December, so you know, four hours of light, 20 hours of darkness, and we would have two, three hours of family worship uh together.
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Uh, and it was a good time.
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It was, you know, we spent a ton of time together for those two weeks.
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It was one of the most restoring, wonderful experiences of our family life.
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In fact, I think most of our children would say our best vacation was that Alaska excursion for two weeks.
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Wow.
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But, you know, what what what turns out to be the most important part of your life?
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If, you know, some kind of sporting event shows up on a Sunday morning, you're like, ah, let's go do the sporting event, let's watch the Super Bowl, don't need to do church today.
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That communicates something to your kids.
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Absolutely.
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And uh they will most likely leave the faith because they know the your faith.
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They got your faith, and they will leave the Christian faith and the Christian church in their generation.
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No question in my mind about that kind of thing.
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But uh, but I think we all need to back up and say, what is the schedule?
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What are the things that matter most for us and how does this direct our schedule?
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Uh I don't know.
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Do we think about this very much, Todd?
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Or do we just kind of like, I don't know, just kind of like that, you know, pachinko ball or that, you know, that you know, with the ball that just pops from one thing to the next because of uh these external forces upon it.
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Is that what's happening to us as we live out our lives?
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Well, what's amazing, I think we have to back up and go, God has given us this tremendous gift of time.
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And uh I think it is our one of our most valuable sort of resources, resources, assets or something because and he's given us a lot of liberty in it.
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Like a lot of liberty, and and that might be what you're focusing on is there's a wow, it's like I have you know 60 hours this week.
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What what can I do with it?
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I can do all these different things with it.
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Sometimes important things are displaced by other things, but but how we manage that is a is a theological statement.
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It's it's speaking to what is important to us.
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What are we doing with these lives?
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What are we focused on?
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And we just did the math.
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We have 110 waking hours in any given week if you sleep eight hours a night, which is about average.
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Uh so 110 waking hours, carve out 50 for work.
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Okay.
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You know, a dad goes to work, 40 hour maybe commute time.
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We'll average 50.
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Okay.
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Well, that leave 60.
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Did I do my math right?
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Yeah.
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110 minus 50 is 60.
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That being the case, that's the majority of my waking hours.
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My wake majority of my waking hours are not spent at work.
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You ever think about that?
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That's that's a little bit like, whoa, I never thought about that.
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In fact, 60 hours.
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It's a lot.
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What are we doing?
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Seems like a lot.
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And in fact, of that 60, you're commanded to take 16.
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That's a good point.
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So sixteen are happening on a Lord's Day.
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Yes.
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On the Lord's Day, right.
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And a lot of that is church.
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Yeah.
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And it should be, and I I think it should be probably close to two services, maybe even three services, right?
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It's okay.
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The whole day spent, you know, in the public and private worship of God, not so much in recreation.
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Uh that's the uh shorter catechism.
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But um yeah, so that's 16.
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So let me do the math real quick.
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So you're left with 34.
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So if you set aside the Lord's 20, 44, you've got 34 left.
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44.
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44.
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44.
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Oh, you're a lot more than 44.
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So you're still above a 40-hour week.
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Yeah, still a lot of time.
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Still beyond a 40-hour week.
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That's interesting.
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A lot of time.
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So 40 hours working, 10 hours commuting, 16 hours on a Sunday.
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Yeah.
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And that leaves you 44 hours.
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Good point.
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One of my favorite verses, Kevin, is Matthew 6, 33.
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I'd say this goes into the the bucket of life verses for me.
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Uh, but seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.
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So the question that comes up for me here is what is Danny seeking?
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Yes.
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And uh it's not just, are there good things on my calendar?
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But the next level of conviction for me is inside of the good things on my calendar, which hopefully I'm not, you know, robbing banks and you know, uh doing nefarious acts in most of my life, but in the good things in my calendar, inside of those, what am I actually seeking?
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Uh is it is it God's kingdom?
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Is it my kingdom?
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So those are the two levels.
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Is there good are good things on my calendar?
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And then in those good things, what is my heart motive?
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And is and that will determine the balance.
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And is everything in those 44 hours subservient to the seeking of the kingdom of God and living to the glory of God and to the enjoyment of God today and forever?
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So is everything subservient to those major objectives?
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That's what you're asking.
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And for that, and for me, that m means two things.
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One is is there's the being and the doing aspect of seeking God's kingdom and his righteousness.
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Um, I I want to be like Jesus.
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Am I seeking to be like Jesus?
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Am I seeking to be with Jesus?
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And then am I pursuing, secondly, the cause of Christ's kingdom.
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Following.
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Yes.
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Following is a big part of being the disciple of Jesus.
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We talked about that Sunday.
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And there is an intentionality to that.
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I I think of the word tells us to redeem the time because the days are evil.
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So there's a redemptive work that we God would want us to engage in.
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And what's interesting about time is it does just slip away, it drifts away.
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I think of a boat out on a even a still lake.
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If it's not, if it if it's not motorized, if it's not, it's just gonna drift.
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And it's gonna drift and that can just, and we'll go, what happened to the time?
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Where did it go?
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It's it's just gone.
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I mean, I don't even know what I spent it on.
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But so we have to redeem it.
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That's the call to redeem it, to be thoughtful about it, to be intentional, and ask those questions.
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Yeah, what am I doing?
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What am I building?
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What am I what does God have me to do here?
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And that's why we keep coming back to this word be intentional, be intentional, be deliberate, be uh prayerful, be thoughtful.
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I mean, you know, come on, guys, you got 44 hours, we're down to 44 hours.
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Uh there's a lot that happens in 44 hours.
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The other thing I like to include is the idea of balance, that we're balancing out certain things.
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Uh there is work, there's family work that still happens within the context of the home.
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There's that.
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There's still that.
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There's preparing meals, there's doing chores, there's fixing stuff around the house.
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So there's work, there's entertainment, and then there's worship.
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And and then within entertainment, I'm not I'm talking about just the things that we're doing together.
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Now, within the field of entertainment, there's the isolation versus community, things we do by ourselves, back to the cell phone thing, uh, versus the the stuff we do in community.
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And it turns out, in terms of entertainment, God really wants the family integrated together, rejoicing together before the Lord your God in your times of entertainment and celebration.
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So uh so so how much am I going to engage the entertainment aspect in isolation versus community?
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And then also, how much do we spend reading uh stuff?
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And it could be reading together out loud.
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So that's you know, we've done that before.
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In fact, we went through, I think it was Sir Gibby, you know, the George McDonald book.
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We did that as a family over about three months, uh, one winter.
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It kind of gave us something to do after family worship, um, to fill in some of those, you know, winter evenings.
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Uh was uh a memorable time.
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So so we read out loud, do we watch TV and shows together, or do engage in s in recreational sports.
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We're asking those sorts of questions.
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The other the other thing about the 44 hours is how much am I thinking in terms of me time versus other people time, investing in other people, uh, versus God time.
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Now, here's the here's one thing that occurs to me is I'm not sure that the idea of isolating myself into my own world and and blocking God out of it and just thinking my own thoughts and just being there in my own world without God and without everybody else is the kind of life I want to live.
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You you think about Jesus, you know, Jesus went and isolated himself up in the mountains, and the answer to that is no, he didn't.
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Are you with me?
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He was with the Lord.
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He was with his father, right?
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So the idea of I'm gonna isolate myself in the mountains, I'm not sure believers should be doing that kind of thing.
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I think we we never isolate ourselves, we're always either in relationship with the father, because he's always there by the way, it's just how much we're connecting, uh, versus being with others.
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So so again, and here's the other thing in terms of practical stuff, how much of our time is spent working on my projects versus the projects my wife wants me to do, you know, the honeydew list, right?
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Um my wife has a certain number of things she wants to see fixed in the house, even right now.
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Uh for some reason, the second law of thermodynamics has really kicked in in our home right now.
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And I know there is a list of things that are developing in her mind that are priorities for her.
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So things that are important for her and conversations that are important for her.
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And then things that are important for my children, conversations that are important with my children.
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These are the sorts of things I think we need to be thinking about as we divvy out the 44 hours.
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Is that a good way to put it?
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Yeah, divvying out the 44 hours, right?
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We're giving my son a little bit, we're giving my wife a little bit, we're giving God some things.
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You know, by the way, we tithe time to God and we tithe money to God.
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So, you know, that's important.
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Can I just be honest with you guys?
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I need some advice.
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Um help me on the divvying out of my time to work.
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And you could put the bucket of, you know, in that bucket you could put professional work, you could put church work, um or ministry efforts, uh, and then around the house projects, some of that can be necessary maintenance stuff, or some of it could be, hey, we want to, you know, plant a bunch of trees around the property, which is what I'm working on right now.
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Um and I find that if I if if if I thought I was in a ditch, it would be the work ditch.
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And so help me out on this.
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What you know, how to think maybe there's other dads in the work ditch.
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You know, how do I think about this?
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Where where would I, you know, where maybe am I my priorities off?
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What could I be missing?
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Just do some counseling here with me, brothers.
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Well, Todd, you jump on that for just a minute.
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Um You know, I think we have to go, let's go back to husband, right?
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And and that father.
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There is a husbandry actually is a vocation.
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It's a there's a there's a uh a gardening.
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You're you're you're cultivating something in your garden.
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And these these things you're talking about are probably good things.
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Okay, plant some trees around these are good things.
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Work, you know, that's that's profitable.
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But but the cultivation of this garden, there's a lot going on in this garden.
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It's not just you know the property, the home maintenance, the whatever.
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There's there's all these other things.
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And I think what we're seeing is we have to cultivate all of these, but within our minds, there has to be this priority that's God's given us from his word, which is again the providential proximity he's given.
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He's given you family, he's given you a season right now.
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That's what helps me.
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It's like this is a season when, you know, this is what God wants me to do right now.
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You're like, you have young children.
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Okay, that that's a that's a significant season.
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You know, when you're 75 years old, it's gonna be a different season, and those priorities might shift a little bit.
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And so we have to sort of stay in step with that.
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I I think there's if you're convicted by it, amen.
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Then walk in step with the spirit, right?
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Be in step with and say, Lord, what what is it you have me to do?
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If you're telling me this is off, how can I invest in something else?
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And I think it's gonna be practically limiting that or putting that down and and stepping back and examining the state of my hurts and my flocks.
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Exactly.
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Yeah, the other thing that occurred to me, Danny, is that we embed or insert various aspects of our lives into the the broader purposes and functions of our lives.
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Uh, that is, everything that we're doing needs to be seeking the kingdom of God and his righteousness, glorifying God and enjoying him forever.
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That that, you know, our work and everything else embeds itself in those broader objectives.
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Uh for example, and here's another example.
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Uh, okay, you're planting trees, but you're gonna take Jed out to the back 20 or 40, and and and you're gonna plant trees with Jed.
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And so is it more about the planting trees or more about working with Jed and you know, turning this family economy element into a discipleship opportunity?
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So that's what we've said about teaching algebra in the past.
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Is this about algebra or is this about teaching faith and prayer and character and these other things, right?
00:18:19.500 --> 00:18:20.539
Same thing for that.
00:18:20.940 --> 00:18:42.539
So I think if we can think in terms of one thing is is nesting into the other, um, and and we we're uh we're we're uh intentionally, consciously, uh purposefully uh embedding the planting tree project into the overarching discipleship effort for the family.
00:18:42.779 --> 00:18:53.659
I think I think we're going to see that these things aren't separated out into their own hermetically sealed projects, but they uh the one serves the other.
00:18:53.900 --> 00:18:54.380
Does that make sense?
00:18:54.460 --> 00:18:56.139
Yeah, I think the one serves the other.
00:18:56.460 --> 00:18:59.659
Yeah, I think I tend to live life in a very segmented way.
00:18:59.980 --> 00:19:00.220
Yeah.
00:19:00.940 --> 00:19:02.460
This is the this is this is work.
00:19:02.619 --> 00:19:03.819
Now I'm here to produce.
00:19:03.900 --> 00:19:04.059
Yeah.
00:19:04.220 --> 00:19:04.460
Right.
00:19:04.700 --> 00:19:07.259
Less to love people, less to disciple.
00:19:07.900 --> 00:19:17.180
It's a little bit my like my my uh illustration I give that you know, you take your two-year-old out to change the tire, and his job is to pull off the hubcap.
00:19:17.660 --> 00:19:25.259
And uh, you know, he can stress out about pulling off the hubcap and he's nightmares about it because he can't quite accomplish it yet.
00:19:25.500 --> 00:19:39.660
But it's not so much about him accomplishing the task as it is for him to be with dad and dad to put his little hand on the you know, on the screwdriver or whatever to help leverage off that thing.
00:19:39.819 --> 00:19:43.740
You know, the two-year-old is working it, but dad's hand is right there too.
00:19:44.140 --> 00:19:46.539
And I think that's the way God is with us.
00:19:46.700 --> 00:19:50.539
I think we're working his projects, but we need to work his projects with him.
00:19:50.859 --> 00:19:51.259
Amen.
00:19:51.500 --> 00:19:54.140
And uh so that's the illustration I like to bring in.
00:19:54.220 --> 00:20:01.339
That brings it together identity, purpose, overall objective to the day-to-day stuff that we're doing.
00:20:01.660 --> 00:20:04.700
Yeah, because a lot of dads will say, What about my hobbies?
00:20:04.859 --> 00:20:05.819
How do I do those?
00:20:05.900 --> 00:20:07.579
Like, am I just supposed to abandon those?
00:20:07.660 --> 00:20:18.940
Well, some of them you can do with, I mean, that's that's kind of what I did is I I did sort of give up some things when I had children that I could do with more individual, you know, just but and then do what I can with my children.
00:20:19.099 --> 00:20:32.859
I uh, you know, at our home now, I mean, we this house has constant, constant projects, but uh, but yeah, I don't know that I can't try to think the last time any anybody, one of my sons, me, did a house project by themselves.
00:20:33.019 --> 00:20:36.619
We're always doing them together, and that and that's really helpful.
00:20:36.779 --> 00:20:46.220
And I just also want to say to your question, there are strategic times in life where we do have to back up and go, I have to make a change.
00:20:46.299 --> 00:20:49.019
I worked for many years, I worked basically three jobs.
00:20:49.420 --> 00:20:53.420
And it came to a point where I was like, I I just I can't do it anymore.
00:20:53.579 --> 00:20:58.539
Like I'm I'm sorry, like I can I can make it all sophisticated and sort of work together.
00:20:58.619 --> 00:21:14.619
But but at some point we we we might be convicted to go, we just, you know what, I'm gonna have to make a change and I'm gonna because of what you're saying, because of I feel unbalanced or or pushed in in one area of something, and I know there needs to be a cultivation, and what's a priority?
00:21:15.099 --> 00:21:21.500
Uh you know, one of the questions people come out with is uh what's the priority in life, church or family?
00:21:21.740 --> 00:21:24.940
Now, this is where again the nesting thing happens.
00:21:25.099 --> 00:21:32.859
Uh there is a fair amount of discipleship that happens when we begin to relate to the body of Christ.
00:21:33.259 --> 00:21:52.299
If our children see our love for Jesus and our love for the body of Christ, uh they more is caught than taught, and they begin to see that that uh that that Jesus is important, that we love Jesus, we love his body, and uh hopefully they will you know walk in that way as well.
00:21:52.779 --> 00:22:04.779
Uh so I'm not sure that that I'm as bothered by you know uh families uh involved in church for four or five, eight hours a week.
00:22:04.940 --> 00:22:06.140
That doesn't really bother me.
00:22:06.379 --> 00:22:14.460
I think the thing that bothers me more than anything else is where it's a family disintegrated kind of church where everybody goes a different direction.
00:22:15.099 --> 00:22:27.660
If if if the family is together in the prayer meeting of the church, if the family is together in the worship services of the church, uh then then you know we're we're effectively killing two birds with one stone kind of thing.
00:22:28.059 --> 00:22:31.019
Or you know, nurturing two birds at the same time.
00:22:31.500 --> 00:22:52.539
So uh so so the question of whether there are competing priorities going on in terms of church versus family, I would say I guess there's points at which you could get so many church activities going that there's not enough time for one-on-one instruction or for that daily family worship that needs to happen.
00:22:52.700 --> 00:22:53.819
So I get that.
00:22:54.140 --> 00:23:08.059
Uh but I guess the my bigger question is should we be analyzing our time and perhaps shifting more of that entertainment time into family projects, family economy, church time, family worship?
00:23:08.220 --> 00:23:20.940
It's probably the balance is probably in the area of entertainment because again, that 44 hours is taken up so much in entertainment uh worshi uh versus worship versus work as a family.
00:23:21.099 --> 00:23:22.700
So where's the balance?
00:23:23.019 --> 00:23:25.420
Are we achieving balance?
00:23:25.579 --> 00:23:31.500
Uh maybe, maybe brothers, you want to interact with that, or how have you achieved balance in your family talk?
00:23:31.900 --> 00:23:37.180
There's a lot of the for decades, the the mantra was work-life balance, right?
00:23:37.500 --> 00:23:38.220
Or you've heard of that.
00:23:38.299 --> 00:23:51.500
Like work, oh, I gotta actually some business would say we respect work-life balance, and you're gonna feel and and lately in in sort of the worldosphere, it's oh, it's not about work-life balance, it's about it's about flow.
00:23:51.740 --> 00:23:58.859
And there's gonna be times in your life when you really gotta focus, you gotta say, honey, I gotta work for three months really hard, I'm not gonna see you later.
00:23:59.019 --> 00:24:01.259
And then there's other times, oh, you'll come out of that.
00:24:01.500 --> 00:24:11.019
Okay, I don't I don't really know if that's true for the godly man necessarily, because there because in God's order, He has things for us to do.
00:24:11.579 --> 00:24:17.339
The Sabbath is not a flow thing that you turn off for three months and you get back to it.
00:24:17.980 --> 00:24:26.220
He has daily, he says, you know, and we read about in Acts, you know, daily they met and and they they they spent time together in the Word.
00:24:26.379 --> 00:24:31.579
And so there is a there is a rhythm to it that does require balance.
00:24:31.819 --> 00:24:41.660
I don't know if balance balance to me, I always was bothered by that a little bit because it's like, well, you know, if I work two hours here, then I spend two hours with my wife and it's all balanced out.
00:24:41.740 --> 00:24:58.619
I no, I actually think that we're gonna be convicted there's times where we need to spend a lot more time relationally and actually pull back on the business and know that that's gonna, yeah, there might be some sacrifices, but that, but we have to be walking in tune with what the Lord's doing and what he's put foremost.
00:24:58.700 --> 00:25:00.700
There's gonna be times the church needs something.
00:25:01.099 --> 00:25:06.460
It's always the question of tension between the highly scheduled family versus the flexible family.
00:25:06.700 --> 00:25:07.180
Right, right.
00:25:07.339 --> 00:25:09.980
You know, and there is something, some benefit to schedule.
00:25:10.140 --> 00:25:16.619
There's some benefit that, you know, we do family worship between seven o'clock and seven forty-five every day.
00:25:16.700 --> 00:25:17.900
There's some benefit to that.
00:25:17.980 --> 00:25:21.740
But what you're saying is there are times at which we may have to adjust.
00:25:21.819 --> 00:25:21.980
Right.
00:25:22.299 --> 00:25:24.299
We may have to do a little more of this or that.
00:25:24.460 --> 00:25:31.740
In fact, I was thinking Proverbs 10:5, he who gathers crops in summer is a prudent son, but he who sleeps during harvest is a disgrace graceful son.
00:25:31.819 --> 00:25:31.980
Right.
00:25:32.220 --> 00:25:34.059
So so there are times of harvest.
00:25:34.140 --> 00:25:49.579
There's times at which we may have to adjust, which means, and this is what's interesting, is despite the fact we want an intentional schedule, maybe you know, husband, wife get together, decide what the schedule is going to look like uh for the next 25 years of our existence.
00:25:49.740 --> 00:25:54.859
But then on a daily, weekly/slash monthly basis, sometimes we have to reassess.
00:25:55.019 --> 00:26:01.259
We have to say, now wait a minute, wait a minute, uh, how do we readjust priorities at least during this season?
00:26:01.339 --> 00:26:01.579
Go ahead.
00:26:01.900 --> 00:26:04.140
If Bill was here and I'm sitting in Bill's seat today.
00:26:04.460 --> 00:26:05.420
So you might as well speak for him.
00:26:05.819 --> 00:26:06.859
Might as well speak for him.
00:26:07.099 --> 00:26:16.299
And one of the things he's encouraged me with, and I think this applies to a lot of families in our busy modern age, is the whole idea of being interruptible.
00:26:16.700 --> 00:26:34.859
And do we have the margin for the a divine providence is the divine interruptions that will come our way, either in terms of discipleship moments with our children, or ministry opportunities for our neighbors, or service opportunities in our church.
00:26:35.099 --> 00:27:06.059
One of the things that I've been convicted of in parenting is so much of my success or failure in parenting it has to do with my margin and my willingness to be interrupted and take advantage of those discipleship opportunities because the quick fix, just be quiet, I'm gonna control you with my voice, is somewhat it's my heart, but it's also because I haven't arranged my life in such a way as to make time for those kinds of priorities.
00:27:06.379 --> 00:27:06.619
That's right.
00:27:07.019 --> 00:27:08.059
How do we avoid the ditches?
00:27:08.140 --> 00:27:10.220
And let me just summarize the ditches as best as I can.
00:27:10.379 --> 00:27:14.059
Workaholicism, whatever that is, but you know what it is.
00:27:14.220 --> 00:27:15.900
Uh I think we all have a sense for what it is.
00:27:16.059 --> 00:27:28.460
Workaholicism, uh, entertainment saturation, your home, focus on me time, always thinking me time as a priority versus God time uh ministering to others.
00:27:28.619 --> 00:27:31.420
Um how do we uh how do we avoid these ditches?
00:27:31.740 --> 00:27:39.980
Well, I think you know, for for dads out there that are really feeling this heavy, it might be a time to back up and consider that.
00:27:40.299 --> 00:27:41.420
What is it, 44 hours?
00:27:41.500 --> 00:27:41.900
How much is it?
00:27:42.140 --> 00:27:42.460
44 hours.
00:27:43.339 --> 00:27:47.259
We landed on and back up and and and and think about these categories.
00:27:47.660 --> 00:27:49.420
God's given me him.
00:27:49.740 --> 00:27:51.339
I I need to worship my God.
00:27:51.579 --> 00:27:58.700
He's given me a wife, he's given me children, so a family, he's given me a church body, and you know, and I need to work, you know.
00:27:58.779 --> 00:28:04.779
I probably need to work unless I'm independently wealthy or something like that, which you probably need to work still, anyway, in some regard.
00:28:04.940 --> 00:28:06.700
But and he's given me ministry.
00:28:06.779 --> 00:28:09.740
He's and and we need to sometimes do a reset.
00:28:09.819 --> 00:28:11.500
And I think that's probably good for all of us.
00:28:11.660 --> 00:28:16.779
Occasionally just go, yeah, let me do some self-examination of how am I stewarding my time.
00:28:17.660 --> 00:28:19.660
And also seeking maximum fruitfulness.
00:28:19.819 --> 00:28:30.859
I just spoke on this in another program, but maximal fruitfulness doesn't just mean bottom line, you know, we made a million and a half dollars and I'm dying with the most toys.
00:28:31.500 --> 00:28:32.140
Yay.
00:28:32.539 --> 00:28:33.259
We all know that.
00:28:33.339 --> 00:28:49.180
Yeah, we all know maximum fruitfulness for your family over the next 48 years of your existence will be children who love God, children who serve others, children who who just love to show charity, a family that just pours out charity and serves people in the church.
00:28:49.259 --> 00:28:57.339
And you know, you can I think you can picture something of what a maximum fruitful family life would look like over 45 to 50 years.
00:28:57.660 --> 00:29:03.180
Danny, you got a vision for that or just some aspects of this that is starting to formulate in your mind?
00:29:03.660 --> 00:29:06.460
I was thinking of 1 Corinthians 16, 15.
00:29:06.619 --> 00:29:08.059
Uh, actually start at first 14.
00:29:08.299 --> 00:29:09.980
Let all that you do be done with love.
00:29:10.059 --> 00:29:25.099
I urge you, brethren, you know the household of Stephanus, that it is a first fruit of a Caiah, that they have devoted themselves, or some translations render it literally addicted themselves to the ministry of the saints.
00:29:25.259 --> 00:29:25.660
Yeah, that's right.
00:29:25.900 --> 00:29:37.180
And as I think about my parents' heritage and uh the the the way that I was raised, pretty much from the time I was five, my parents were involved in ministry.
00:29:37.500 --> 00:29:42.059
So my my my and before before that, to be honest, dad was in church ministry.
00:29:42.539 --> 00:29:58.700
And so um there's different ways, obviously, that we serve the Lord, but to answer your question, uh this is what I want to be true of us is that uh our family would be addicted to the ministry of the saints, to the cause of Christ's kingdom.
00:29:59.019 --> 00:30:04.539
Now I have to check myself uh very often why am I doing what am I doing, what uh what I'm doing.
00:30:04.619 --> 00:30:08.140
Uh is it truly out of love for the Lord and love for others?
00:30:08.539 --> 00:30:17.819
But uh may God make it so in our family that our children and that we ourselves would be addicted to his kingdom and to serving others in his kingdom.
00:30:18.140 --> 00:30:18.460
That's right.
00:30:18.539 --> 00:30:18.940
That's right.
00:30:19.019 --> 00:30:19.660
Yeah, that's right.
00:30:19.900 --> 00:30:22.859
And and just a reminder, we need to do all things in faith.
00:30:23.259 --> 00:30:29.420
So if you find yourself in something, you know, I mean, that's a good question that I just try to ask myself.
00:30:29.579 --> 00:30:30.460
Am I doing this in faith?
00:30:30.539 --> 00:30:33.259
And then I find out I probably shouldn't even be doing this right now.
00:30:33.500 --> 00:30:43.099
I'm doing it for, you know, some other outside external influences telling me I need to do it, or it's a self-driven, selfish desire I'm doing it.
00:30:43.180 --> 00:30:47.259
No, am I doing all things in faith to the Lord for His for His kingdom come?
00:30:47.500 --> 00:30:48.460
Yeah, very good.
00:30:48.700 --> 00:31:10.140
Pushing for maximum fruitfulness for families today and praying for it, uh, envisioning it, uh planning it out, prioritizing for it, and hopefully implementing wise and thoughtful priorities to achieve that maximum fruitfulness over the next 48 years of our family life through the generations as well.
00:31:10.299 --> 00:31:14.220
That's the vision today on the Generations broadcast with Disciples for Dads.
00:31:14.299 --> 00:31:22.220
Thank you, Todd Strasser, Danny Craig, and yours truly, Kevin Swanson, inviting you back again next time as we continue to lay down a vision for the next generation.
00:31:31.900 --> 00:31:34.859
This has been a production of the Generations Media Network.
00:31:35.019 --> 00:31:38.059
For more information, go to generations.org/slash media.
00:00:06.480 --> 00:00:09.839
Welcome friends to Generations, Kevin Swanson, your host with you.
00:00:09.919 --> 00:00:15.279
Another segment of Discipleship for Dads with Todd Strasser, Danny Craig, and yours truly.
00:00:15.439 --> 00:00:18.239
And today, I the question is a big question.
00:00:18.399 --> 00:00:20.640
What does your family schedule look like?
00:00:20.800 --> 00:00:22.000
What are you doing?
00:00:22.320 --> 00:00:23.920
What are you doing right now?
00:00:24.160 --> 00:00:25.199
What are you doing?
00:00:25.519 --> 00:00:26.960
And why are you doing this?
00:00:27.199 --> 00:00:30.239
And your family schedule is a theological statement.
00:00:30.320 --> 00:00:38.799
So again, what whatever you're doing in terms of priorities and schedules, it pretty much indicates your commitments, your things that matter, your values.
00:00:38.960 --> 00:00:41.439
Your values drive your schedule.
00:00:41.679 --> 00:00:44.640
The things you consider important are the things that you do.
00:00:44.799 --> 00:00:46.079
My dad used to say this.
00:00:46.320 --> 00:00:50.320
He says, son, you're going to do the things that you believe to be the most important.
00:00:50.799 --> 00:00:54.320
Everybody does the things they believe to be the most important.
00:00:54.560 --> 00:00:58.320
And they spend their money on the things they believe to be the most important.
00:00:58.479 --> 00:01:00.719
And I thought there was a lot of wisdom to that.
00:01:01.840 --> 00:01:07.200
What does your schedule say about your goals, your objectives, your reason for living?
00:01:07.439 --> 00:01:10.079
Are you laying up treasures on earth?
00:01:10.400 --> 00:01:16.400
Or are you laying up treasures in heaven where moth and rust does not corrupt and where thieves do not break through and steal?
00:01:17.840 --> 00:01:22.400
Are you really seeking the kingdom of God in his righteousness, or are your commitments elsewhere?
00:01:22.480 --> 00:01:28.159
And I think these are important questions for every dad and for every family.
00:01:28.560 --> 00:01:29.599
And here's the other thing.
00:01:29.760 --> 00:01:31.040
What are we teaching our kids?
00:01:31.200 --> 00:01:34.480
Our kids will pick up something from our lifestyle.
00:01:35.519 --> 00:01:42.319
If we have you know displaced family worship just because we're on vacation, right?
00:01:42.640 --> 00:01:44.640
What does that communicate to our kids?
00:01:44.799 --> 00:01:45.359
You know, yeah.
00:01:45.920 --> 00:01:48.560
We've gone these big family vacations to Europe.
00:01:48.719 --> 00:01:49.760
We did that one time.
00:01:49.840 --> 00:01:53.760
We went to Disney World once, which is a total waste of time, by the way.
00:01:54.000 --> 00:01:56.560
Please, I plead with you, do not go.
00:01:56.799 --> 00:02:02.640
It was one of those discouraging and disheartening and boring experiences of our lives.
00:02:02.959 --> 00:02:09.039
Um but but you know, I think we did do family worship every morning, so there was a plus there.
00:02:09.520 --> 00:02:13.199
But um, you know, we went off to Alaska one time.
00:02:13.360 --> 00:02:20.400
Uh for two weeks, they dropped us off on an airplane in the middle of Alaska wilderness and did not come back for two weeks.
00:02:20.479 --> 00:02:22.400
So we had enough stuff.
00:02:22.639 --> 00:02:32.960
It was in December, so you know, four hours of light, 20 hours of darkness, and we would have two, three hours of family worship uh together.
00:02:33.199 --> 00:02:34.639
Uh, and it was a good time.
00:02:34.800 --> 00:02:38.080
It was, you know, we spent a ton of time together for those two weeks.
00:02:38.159 --> 00:02:42.240
It was one of the most restoring, wonderful experiences of our family life.
00:02:42.319 --> 00:02:46.800
In fact, I think most of our children would say our best vacation was that Alaska excursion for two weeks.
00:02:46.960 --> 00:02:47.280
Wow.
00:02:47.520 --> 00:02:51.919
But, you know, what what what turns out to be the most important part of your life?
00:02:52.080 --> 00:03:00.479
If, you know, some kind of sporting event shows up on a Sunday morning, you're like, ah, let's go do the sporting event, let's watch the Super Bowl, don't need to do church today.
00:03:00.719 --> 00:03:03.360
That communicates something to your kids.
00:03:03.520 --> 00:03:03.919
Absolutely.
00:03:04.159 --> 00:03:08.560
And uh they will most likely leave the faith because they know the your faith.
00:03:08.719 --> 00:03:14.400
They got your faith, and they will leave the Christian faith and the Christian church in their generation.
00:03:14.639 --> 00:03:16.639
No question in my mind about that kind of thing.
00:03:16.879 --> 00:03:22.560
But uh, but I think we all need to back up and say, what is the schedule?
00:03:22.719 --> 00:03:27.840
What are the things that matter most for us and how does this direct our schedule?
00:03:28.000 --> 00:03:28.800
Uh I don't know.
00:03:28.960 --> 00:03:30.400
Do we think about this very much, Todd?
00:03:30.479 --> 00:03:44.560
Or do we just kind of like, I don't know, just kind of like that, you know, pachinko ball or that, you know, that you know, with the ball that just pops from one thing to the next because of uh these external forces upon it.
00:03:44.639 --> 00:03:48.800
Is that what's happening to us as we live out our lives?
00:03:49.199 --> 00:03:55.199
Well, what's amazing, I think we have to back up and go, God has given us this tremendous gift of time.
00:03:56.000 --> 00:04:06.719
And uh I think it is our one of our most valuable sort of resources, resources, assets or something because and he's given us a lot of liberty in it.
00:04:06.960 --> 00:04:14.479
Like a lot of liberty, and and that might be what you're focusing on is there's a wow, it's like I have you know 60 hours this week.
00:04:14.560 --> 00:04:15.840
What what can I do with it?
00:04:15.919 --> 00:04:17.759
I can do all these different things with it.
00:04:17.920 --> 00:04:26.160
Sometimes important things are displaced by other things, but but how we manage that is a is a theological statement.
00:04:26.240 --> 00:04:29.439
It's it's speaking to what is important to us.
00:04:29.600 --> 00:04:31.360
What are we doing with these lives?
00:04:31.439 --> 00:04:32.240
What are we focused on?
00:04:32.480 --> 00:04:33.360
And we just did the math.
00:04:33.439 --> 00:04:38.879
We have 110 waking hours in any given week if you sleep eight hours a night, which is about average.
00:04:39.040 --> 00:04:43.279
Uh so 110 waking hours, carve out 50 for work.
00:04:43.439 --> 00:04:43.600
Okay.
00:04:43.920 --> 00:04:48.160
You know, a dad goes to work, 40 hour maybe commute time.
00:04:48.319 --> 00:04:49.360
We'll average 50.
00:04:49.439 --> 00:04:49.600
Okay.
00:04:49.759 --> 00:04:51.199
Well, that leave 60.
00:04:51.360 --> 00:04:52.399
Did I do my math right?
00:04:52.560 --> 00:04:52.720
Yeah.
00:04:52.879 --> 00:04:55.360
110 minus 50 is 60.
00:04:55.600 --> 00:04:59.839
That being the case, that's the majority of my waking hours.
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:04.160
My wake majority of my waking hours are not spent at work.
00:05:04.639 --> 00:05:05.600
You ever think about that?
00:05:06.480 --> 00:05:08.959
That's that's a little bit like, whoa, I never thought about that.
00:05:09.360 --> 00:05:10.959
In fact, 60 hours.
00:05:11.199 --> 00:05:11.519
It's a lot.
00:05:11.680 --> 00:05:12.000
What are we doing?
00:05:12.319 --> 00:05:12.720
Seems like a lot.
00:05:13.040 --> 00:05:17.120
And in fact, of that 60, you're commanded to take 16.
00:05:18.079 --> 00:05:18.639
That's a good point.
00:05:18.879 --> 00:05:22.240
So sixteen are happening on a Lord's Day.
00:05:22.399 --> 00:05:22.720
Yes.
00:05:23.040 --> 00:05:24.240
On the Lord's Day, right.
00:05:24.319 --> 00:05:25.600
And a lot of that is church.
00:05:25.759 --> 00:05:26.000
Yeah.
00:05:26.240 --> 00:05:34.000
And it should be, and I I think it should be probably close to two services, maybe even three services, right?
00:05:34.079 --> 00:05:34.480
It's okay.
00:05:35.199 --> 00:05:41.279
The whole day spent, you know, in the public and private worship of God, not so much in recreation.
00:05:41.360 --> 00:05:43.120
Uh that's the uh shorter catechism.
00:05:43.199 --> 00:05:45.439
But um yeah, so that's 16.
00:05:45.519 --> 00:05:46.959
So let me do the math real quick.
00:05:47.040 --> 00:05:48.480
So you're left with 34.
00:05:49.120 --> 00:05:53.439
So if you set aside the Lord's 20, 44, you've got 34 left.
00:05:53.680 --> 00:05:54.000
44.
00:05:54.160 --> 00:05:54.560
44.
00:05:54.720 --> 00:05:55.199
44.
00:05:55.600 --> 00:05:57.199
Oh, you're a lot more than 44.
00:05:57.600 --> 00:05:59.360
So you're still above a 40-hour week.
00:05:59.519 --> 00:06:00.399
Yeah, still a lot of time.
00:06:00.639 --> 00:06:01.759
Still beyond a 40-hour week.
00:06:02.000 --> 00:06:02.480
That's interesting.
00:06:02.959 --> 00:06:03.439
A lot of time.
00:06:03.680 --> 00:06:09.920
So 40 hours working, 10 hours commuting, 16 hours on a Sunday.
00:06:10.240 --> 00:06:10.560
Yeah.
00:06:10.800 --> 00:06:12.319
And that leaves you 44 hours.
00:06:12.480 --> 00:06:12.879
Good point.
00:06:13.120 --> 00:06:16.639
One of my favorite verses, Kevin, is Matthew 6, 33.
00:06:16.800 --> 00:06:21.120
I'd say this goes into the the bucket of life verses for me.
00:06:21.279 --> 00:06:28.399
Uh, but seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.
00:06:28.560 --> 00:06:32.800
So the question that comes up for me here is what is Danny seeking?
00:06:32.959 --> 00:06:33.279
Yes.
00:06:33.519 --> 00:06:38.319
And uh it's not just, are there good things on my calendar?
00:06:38.560 --> 00:06:54.000
But the next level of conviction for me is inside of the good things on my calendar, which hopefully I'm not, you know, robbing banks and you know, uh doing nefarious acts in most of my life, but in the good things in my calendar, inside of those, what am I actually seeking?
00:06:54.079 --> 00:06:56.160
Uh is it is it God's kingdom?
00:06:56.399 --> 00:06:57.759
Is it my kingdom?
00:06:57.920 --> 00:06:59.199
So those are the two levels.
00:06:59.680 --> 00:07:01.759
Is there good are good things on my calendar?
00:07:01.839 --> 00:07:04.639
And then in those good things, what is my heart motive?
00:07:04.720 --> 00:07:06.000
And is and that will determine the balance.
00:07:06.319 --> 00:07:15.759
And is everything in those 44 hours subservient to the seeking of the kingdom of God and living to the glory of God and to the enjoyment of God today and forever?
00:07:16.000 --> 00:07:19.600
So is everything subservient to those major objectives?
00:07:19.759 --> 00:07:20.319
That's what you're asking.
00:07:20.639 --> 00:07:22.720
And for that, and for me, that m means two things.
00:07:22.879 --> 00:07:29.519
One is is there's the being and the doing aspect of seeking God's kingdom and his righteousness.
00:07:29.759 --> 00:07:31.920
Um, I I want to be like Jesus.
00:07:32.079 --> 00:07:33.439
Am I seeking to be like Jesus?
00:07:33.600 --> 00:07:35.600
Am I seeking to be with Jesus?
00:07:35.839 --> 00:07:40.240
And then am I pursuing, secondly, the cause of Christ's kingdom.
00:07:40.480 --> 00:07:40.959
Following.
00:07:41.120 --> 00:07:41.360
Yes.
00:07:41.600 --> 00:07:44.560
Following is a big part of being the disciple of Jesus.
00:07:44.800 --> 00:07:45.680
We talked about that Sunday.
00:07:46.000 --> 00:07:47.519
And there is an intentionality to that.
00:07:47.600 --> 00:07:51.680
I I think of the word tells us to redeem the time because the days are evil.
00:07:51.839 --> 00:07:56.480
So there's a redemptive work that we God would want us to engage in.
00:07:56.639 --> 00:08:00.160
And what's interesting about time is it does just slip away, it drifts away.
00:08:00.240 --> 00:08:03.839
I think of a boat out on a even a still lake.
00:08:04.079 --> 00:08:08.160
If it's not, if it if it's not motorized, if it's not, it's just gonna drift.
00:08:08.240 --> 00:08:11.279
And it's gonna drift and that can just, and we'll go, what happened to the time?
00:08:11.360 --> 00:08:11.920
Where did it go?
00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:12.879
It's it's just gone.
00:08:13.040 --> 00:08:14.959
I mean, I don't even know what I spent it on.
00:08:15.040 --> 00:08:17.120
But so we have to redeem it.
00:08:17.279 --> 00:08:21.439
That's the call to redeem it, to be thoughtful about it, to be intentional, and ask those questions.
00:08:21.600 --> 00:08:22.480
Yeah, what am I doing?
00:08:22.560 --> 00:08:23.360
What am I building?
00:08:23.519 --> 00:08:25.759
What am I what does God have me to do here?
00:08:26.079 --> 00:08:34.240
And that's why we keep coming back to this word be intentional, be intentional, be deliberate, be uh prayerful, be thoughtful.
00:08:34.399 --> 00:08:38.639
I mean, you know, come on, guys, you got 44 hours, we're down to 44 hours.
00:08:38.879 --> 00:08:43.039
Uh there's a lot that happens in 44 hours.
00:08:43.279 --> 00:08:48.960
The other thing I like to include is the idea of balance, that we're balancing out certain things.
00:08:49.120 --> 00:08:53.840
Uh there is work, there's family work that still happens within the context of the home.
00:08:54.080 --> 00:08:54.559
There's that.
00:08:54.720 --> 00:08:55.360
There's still that.
00:08:55.440 --> 00:08:58.879
There's preparing meals, there's doing chores, there's fixing stuff around the house.
00:08:58.960 --> 00:09:04.000
So there's work, there's entertainment, and then there's worship.
00:09:04.240 --> 00:09:10.080
And and then within entertainment, I'm not I'm talking about just the things that we're doing together.
00:09:10.240 --> 00:09:24.639
Now, within the field of entertainment, there's the isolation versus community, things we do by ourselves, back to the cell phone thing, uh, versus the the stuff we do in community.
00:09:24.799 --> 00:09:36.159
And it turns out, in terms of entertainment, God really wants the family integrated together, rejoicing together before the Lord your God in your times of entertainment and celebration.
00:09:36.320 --> 00:09:43.600
So uh so so how much am I going to engage the entertainment aspect in isolation versus community?
00:09:43.759 --> 00:09:48.480
And then also, how much do we spend reading uh stuff?
00:09:48.639 --> 00:09:51.039
And it could be reading together out loud.
00:09:51.200 --> 00:09:52.639
So that's you know, we've done that before.
00:09:52.799 --> 00:09:57.120
In fact, we went through, I think it was Sir Gibby, you know, the George McDonald book.
00:09:57.200 --> 00:10:00.639
We did that as a family over about three months, uh, one winter.
00:10:00.720 --> 00:10:07.759
It kind of gave us something to do after family worship, um, to fill in some of those, you know, winter evenings.
00:10:07.919 --> 00:10:09.840
Uh was uh a memorable time.
00:10:10.000 --> 00:10:16.879
So so we read out loud, do we watch TV and shows together, or do engage in s in recreational sports.
00:10:17.039 --> 00:10:18.720
We're asking those sorts of questions.
00:10:18.879 --> 00:10:32.399
The other the other thing about the 44 hours is how much am I thinking in terms of me time versus other people time, investing in other people, uh, versus God time.
00:10:32.639 --> 00:10:57.360
Now, here's the here's one thing that occurs to me is I'm not sure that the idea of isolating myself into my own world and and blocking God out of it and just thinking my own thoughts and just being there in my own world without God and without everybody else is the kind of life I want to live.
00:10:57.519 --> 00:11:05.919
You you think about Jesus, you know, Jesus went and isolated himself up in the mountains, and the answer to that is no, he didn't.
00:11:06.879 --> 00:11:07.519
Are you with me?
00:11:07.840 --> 00:11:08.480
He was with the Lord.
00:11:08.799 --> 00:11:10.960
He was with his father, right?
00:11:11.519 --> 00:11:17.519
So the idea of I'm gonna isolate myself in the mountains, I'm not sure believers should be doing that kind of thing.
00:11:17.919 --> 00:11:32.720
I think we we never isolate ourselves, we're always either in relationship with the father, because he's always there by the way, it's just how much we're connecting, uh, versus being with others.
00:11:33.360 --> 00:11:47.360
So so again, and here's the other thing in terms of practical stuff, how much of our time is spent working on my projects versus the projects my wife wants me to do, you know, the honeydew list, right?
00:11:47.519 --> 00:11:52.159
Um my wife has a certain number of things she wants to see fixed in the house, even right now.
00:11:52.320 --> 00:11:57.679
Uh for some reason, the second law of thermodynamics has really kicked in in our home right now.
00:11:58.080 --> 00:12:03.919
And I know there is a list of things that are developing in her mind that are priorities for her.
00:12:04.159 --> 00:12:09.440
So things that are important for her and conversations that are important for her.
00:12:09.600 --> 00:12:14.559
And then things that are important for my children, conversations that are important with my children.
00:12:14.720 --> 00:12:20.320
These are the sorts of things I think we need to be thinking about as we divvy out the 44 hours.
00:12:20.399 --> 00:12:21.200
Is that a good way to put it?
00:12:21.279 --> 00:12:23.519
Yeah, divvying out the 44 hours, right?
00:12:23.600 --> 00:12:28.159
We're giving my son a little bit, we're giving my wife a little bit, we're giving God some things.
00:12:28.320 --> 00:12:32.320
You know, by the way, we tithe time to God and we tithe money to God.
00:12:32.639 --> 00:12:34.720
So, you know, that's important.
00:14:46.700 --> 00:14:48.139
Can I just be honest with you guys?
00:14:48.220 --> 00:14:49.259
I need some advice.
00:14:49.500 --> 00:14:55.179
Um help me on the divvying out of my time to work.
00:14:55.819 --> 00:15:21.019
And you could put the bucket of, you know, in that bucket you could put professional work, you could put church work, um or ministry efforts, uh, and then around the house projects, some of that can be necessary maintenance stuff, or some of it could be, hey, we want to, you know, plant a bunch of trees around the property, which is what I'm working on right now.
00:15:21.419 --> 00:15:27.899
Um and I find that if I if if if I thought I was in a ditch, it would be the work ditch.
00:15:28.939 --> 00:15:31.259
And so help me out on this.
00:15:31.419 --> 00:15:35.500
What you know, how to think maybe there's other dads in the work ditch.
00:15:35.819 --> 00:15:38.379
You know, how do I think about this?
00:15:38.779 --> 00:15:43.659
Where where would I, you know, where maybe am I my priorities off?
00:15:43.980 --> 00:15:45.259
What could I be missing?
00:15:45.419 --> 00:15:46.939
Just do some counseling here with me, brothers.
00:15:47.179 --> 00:15:48.779
Well, Todd, you jump on that for just a minute.
00:15:49.100 --> 00:15:54.220
Um You know, I think we have to go, let's go back to husband, right?
00:15:54.379 --> 00:15:55.500
And and that father.
00:15:55.659 --> 00:15:59.019
There is a husbandry actually is a vocation.
00:15:59.259 --> 00:16:01.899
It's a there's a there's a uh a gardening.
00:16:01.980 --> 00:16:04.939
You're you're you're cultivating something in your garden.
00:16:05.259 --> 00:16:07.500
And these these things you're talking about are probably good things.
00:16:07.580 --> 00:16:09.340
Okay, plant some trees around these are good things.
00:16:09.419 --> 00:16:11.500
Work, you know, that's that's profitable.
00:16:11.819 --> 00:16:15.899
But but the cultivation of this garden, there's a lot going on in this garden.
00:16:15.980 --> 00:16:19.740
It's not just you know the property, the home maintenance, the whatever.
00:16:19.819 --> 00:16:20.939
There's there's all these other things.
00:16:21.100 --> 00:16:35.259
And I think what we're seeing is we have to cultivate all of these, but within our minds, there has to be this priority that's God's given us from his word, which is again the providential proximity he's given.
00:16:35.340 --> 00:16:38.299
He's given you family, he's given you a season right now.
00:16:38.779 --> 00:16:39.980
That's what helps me.
00:16:40.059 --> 00:16:44.379
It's like this is a season when, you know, this is what God wants me to do right now.
00:16:44.539 --> 00:16:45.659
You're like, you have young children.
00:16:45.819 --> 00:16:48.620
Okay, that that's a that's a significant season.
00:16:48.779 --> 00:16:54.539
You know, when you're 75 years old, it's gonna be a different season, and those priorities might shift a little bit.
00:16:54.700 --> 00:16:56.700
And so we have to sort of stay in step with that.
00:16:56.779 --> 00:16:59.259
I I think there's if you're convicted by it, amen.
00:16:59.500 --> 00:17:01.659
Then walk in step with the spirit, right?
00:17:01.819 --> 00:17:04.380
Be in step with and say, Lord, what what is it you have me to do?
00:17:04.460 --> 00:17:07.179
If you're telling me this is off, how can I invest in something else?
00:17:07.420 --> 00:17:17.179
And I think it's gonna be practically limiting that or putting that down and and stepping back and examining the state of my hurts and my flocks.
00:17:17.659 --> 00:17:18.139
Exactly.
00:17:18.220 --> 00:17:31.340
Yeah, the other thing that occurred to me, Danny, is that we embed or insert various aspects of our lives into the the broader purposes and functions of our lives.
00:17:31.500 --> 00:17:38.299
Uh, that is, everything that we're doing needs to be seeking the kingdom of God and his righteousness, glorifying God and enjoying him forever.
00:17:38.460 --> 00:17:44.059
That that, you know, our work and everything else embeds itself in those broader objectives.
00:17:44.380 --> 00:17:47.340
Uh for example, and here's another example.
00:17:47.500 --> 00:17:55.659
Uh, okay, you're planting trees, but you're gonna take Jed out to the back 20 or 40, and and and you're gonna plant trees with Jed.
00:17:56.619 --> 00:18:09.259
And so is it more about the planting trees or more about working with Jed and you know, turning this family economy element into a discipleship opportunity?
00:18:09.579 --> 00:18:13.099
So that's what we've said about teaching algebra in the past.
00:18:13.259 --> 00:18:19.179
Is this about algebra or is this about teaching faith and prayer and character and these other things, right?
00:18:19.500 --> 00:18:20.539
Same thing for that.
00:18:20.940 --> 00:18:42.539
So I think if we can think in terms of one thing is is nesting into the other, um, and and we we're uh we're we're uh intentionally, consciously, uh purposefully uh embedding the planting tree project into the overarching discipleship effort for the family.
00:18:42.779 --> 00:18:53.659
I think I think we're going to see that these things aren't separated out into their own hermetically sealed projects, but they uh the one serves the other.
00:18:53.900 --> 00:18:54.380
Does that make sense?
00:18:54.460 --> 00:18:56.139
Yeah, I think the one serves the other.
00:18:56.460 --> 00:18:59.659
Yeah, I think I tend to live life in a very segmented way.
00:18:59.980 --> 00:19:00.220
Yeah.
00:19:00.940 --> 00:19:02.460
This is the this is this is work.
00:19:02.619 --> 00:19:03.819
Now I'm here to produce.
00:19:03.900 --> 00:19:04.059
Yeah.
00:19:04.220 --> 00:19:04.460
Right.
00:19:04.700 --> 00:19:07.259
Less to love people, less to disciple.
00:19:07.900 --> 00:19:17.180
It's a little bit my like my my uh illustration I give that you know, you take your two-year-old out to change the tire, and his job is to pull off the hubcap.
00:19:17.660 --> 00:19:25.259
And uh, you know, he can stress out about pulling off the hubcap and he's nightmares about it because he can't quite accomplish it yet.
00:19:25.500 --> 00:19:39.660
But it's not so much about him accomplishing the task as it is for him to be with dad and dad to put his little hand on the you know, on the screwdriver or whatever to help leverage off that thing.
00:19:39.819 --> 00:19:43.740
You know, the two-year-old is working it, but dad's hand is right there too.
00:19:44.140 --> 00:19:46.539
And I think that's the way God is with us.
00:19:46.700 --> 00:19:50.539
I think we're working his projects, but we need to work his projects with him.
00:19:50.859 --> 00:19:51.259
Amen.
00:19:51.500 --> 00:19:54.140
And uh so that's the illustration I like to bring in.
00:19:54.220 --> 00:20:01.339
That brings it together identity, purpose, overall objective to the day-to-day stuff that we're doing.
00:20:01.660 --> 00:20:04.700
Yeah, because a lot of dads will say, What about my hobbies?
00:20:04.859 --> 00:20:05.819
How do I do those?
00:20:05.900 --> 00:20:07.579
Like, am I just supposed to abandon those?
00:20:07.660 --> 00:20:18.940
Well, some of them you can do with, I mean, that's that's kind of what I did is I I did sort of give up some things when I had children that I could do with more individual, you know, just but and then do what I can with my children.
00:20:19.099 --> 00:20:32.859
I uh, you know, at our home now, I mean, we this house has constant, constant projects, but uh, but yeah, I don't know that I can't try to think the last time any anybody, one of my sons, me, did a house project by themselves.
00:20:33.019 --> 00:20:36.619
We're always doing them together, and that and that's really helpful.
00:20:36.779 --> 00:20:46.220
And I just also want to say to your question, there are strategic times in life where we do have to back up and go, I have to make a change.
00:20:46.299 --> 00:20:49.019
I worked for many years, I worked basically three jobs.
00:20:49.420 --> 00:20:53.420
And it came to a point where I was like, I I just I can't do it anymore.
00:20:53.579 --> 00:20:58.539
Like I'm I'm sorry, like I can I can make it all sophisticated and sort of work together.
00:20:58.619 --> 00:21:14.619
But but at some point we we we might be convicted to go, we just, you know what, I'm gonna have to make a change and I'm gonna because of what you're saying, because of I feel unbalanced or or pushed in in one area of something, and I know there needs to be a cultivation, and what's a priority?
00:21:15.099 --> 00:21:21.500
Uh you know, one of the questions people come out with is uh what's the priority in life, church or family?
00:21:21.740 --> 00:21:24.940
Now, this is where again the nesting thing happens.
00:21:25.099 --> 00:21:32.859
Uh there is a fair amount of discipleship that happens when we begin to relate to the body of Christ.
00:21:33.259 --> 00:21:52.299
If our children see our love for Jesus and our love for the body of Christ, uh they more is caught than taught, and they begin to see that that uh that that Jesus is important, that we love Jesus, we love his body, and uh hopefully they will you know walk in that way as well.
00:21:52.779 --> 00:22:04.779
Uh so I'm not sure that that I'm as bothered by you know uh families uh involved in church for four or five, eight hours a week.
00:22:04.940 --> 00:22:06.140
That doesn't really bother me.
00:22:06.379 --> 00:22:14.460
I think the thing that bothers me more than anything else is where it's a family disintegrated kind of church where everybody goes a different direction.
00:22:15.099 --> 00:22:27.660
If if if the family is together in the prayer meeting of the church, if the family is together in the worship services of the church, uh then then you know we're we're effectively killing two birds with one stone kind of thing.
00:22:28.059 --> 00:22:31.019
Or you know, nurturing two birds at the same time.
00:22:31.500 --> 00:22:52.539
So uh so so the question of whether there are competing priorities going on in terms of church versus family, I would say I guess there's points at which you could get so many church activities going that there's not enough time for one-on-one instruction or for that daily family worship that needs to happen.
00:22:52.700 --> 00:22:53.819
So I get that.
00:22:54.140 --> 00:23:08.059
Uh but I guess the my bigger question is should we be analyzing our time and perhaps shifting more of that entertainment time into family projects, family economy, church time, family worship?
00:23:08.220 --> 00:23:20.940
It's probably the balance is probably in the area of entertainment because again, that 44 hours is taken up so much in entertainment uh worshi uh versus worship versus work as a family.
00:23:21.099 --> 00:23:22.700
So where's the balance?
00:23:23.019 --> 00:23:25.420
Are we achieving balance?
00:23:25.579 --> 00:23:31.500
Uh maybe, maybe brothers, you want to interact with that, or how have you achieved balance in your family talk?
00:23:31.900 --> 00:23:37.180
There's a lot of the for decades, the the mantra was work-life balance, right?
00:23:37.500 --> 00:23:38.220
Or you've heard of that.
00:23:38.299 --> 00:23:51.500
Like work, oh, I gotta actually some business would say we respect work-life balance, and you're gonna feel and and lately in in sort of the worldosphere, it's oh, it's not about work-life balance, it's about it's about flow.
00:23:51.740 --> 00:23:58.859
And there's gonna be times in your life when you really gotta focus, you gotta say, honey, I gotta work for three months really hard, I'm not gonna see you later.
00:23:59.019 --> 00:24:01.259
And then there's other times, oh, you'll come out of that.
00:24:01.500 --> 00:24:11.019
Okay, I don't I don't really know if that's true for the godly man necessarily, because there because in God's order, He has things for us to do.
00:24:11.579 --> 00:24:17.339
The Sabbath is not a flow thing that you turn off for three months and you get back to it.
00:24:17.980 --> 00:24:26.220
He has daily, he says, you know, and we read about in Acts, you know, daily they met and and they they they spent time together in the Word.
00:24:26.379 --> 00:24:31.579
And so there is a there is a rhythm to it that does require balance.
00:24:31.819 --> 00:24:41.660
I don't know if balance balance to me, I always was bothered by that a little bit because it's like, well, you know, if I work two hours here, then I spend two hours with my wife and it's all balanced out.
00:24:41.740 --> 00:24:58.619
I no, I actually think that we're gonna be convicted there's times where we need to spend a lot more time relationally and actually pull back on the business and know that that's gonna, yeah, there might be some sacrifices, but that, but we have to be walking in tune with what the Lord's doing and what he's put foremost.
00:24:58.700 --> 00:25:00.700
There's gonna be times the church needs something.
00:25:01.099 --> 00:25:06.460
It's always the question of tension between the highly scheduled family versus the flexible family.
00:25:06.700 --> 00:25:07.180
Right, right.
00:25:07.339 --> 00:25:09.980
You know, and there is something, some benefit to schedule.
00:25:10.140 --> 00:25:16.619
There's some benefit that, you know, we do family worship between seven o'clock and seven forty-five every day.
00:25:16.700 --> 00:25:17.900
There's some benefit to that.
00:25:17.980 --> 00:25:21.740
But what you're saying is there are times at which we may have to adjust.
00:25:21.819 --> 00:25:21.980
Right.
00:25:22.299 --> 00:25:24.299
We may have to do a little more of this or that.
00:25:24.460 --> 00:25:31.740
In fact, I was thinking Proverbs 10:5, he who gathers crops in summer is a prudent son, but he who sleeps during harvest is a disgrace graceful son.
00:25:31.819 --> 00:25:31.980
Right.
00:25:32.220 --> 00:25:34.059
So so there are times of harvest.
00:25:34.140 --> 00:25:49.579
There's times at which we may have to adjust, which means, and this is what's interesting, is despite the fact we want an intentional schedule, maybe you know, husband, wife get together, decide what the schedule is going to look like uh for the next 25 years of our existence.
00:25:49.740 --> 00:25:54.859
But then on a daily, weekly/slash monthly basis, sometimes we have to reassess.
00:25:55.019 --> 00:26:01.259
We have to say, now wait a minute, wait a minute, uh, how do we readjust priorities at least during this season?
00:26:01.339 --> 00:26:01.579
Go ahead.
00:26:01.900 --> 00:26:04.140
If Bill was here and I'm sitting in Bill's seat today.
00:26:04.460 --> 00:26:05.420
So you might as well speak for him.
00:26:05.819 --> 00:26:06.859
Might as well speak for him.
00:26:07.099 --> 00:26:16.299
And one of the things he's encouraged me with, and I think this applies to a lot of families in our busy modern age, is the whole idea of being interruptible.
00:26:16.700 --> 00:26:34.859
And do we have the margin for the a divine providence is the divine interruptions that will come our way, either in terms of discipleship moments with our children, or ministry opportunities for our neighbors, or service opportunities in our church.
00:26:35.099 --> 00:27:06.059
One of the things that I've been convicted of in parenting is so much of my success or failure in parenting it has to do with my margin and my willingness to be interrupted and take advantage of those discipleship opportunities because the quick fix, just be quiet, I'm gonna control you with my voice, is somewhat it's my heart, but it's also because I haven't arranged my life in such a way as to make time for those kinds of priorities.
00:27:06.379 --> 00:27:06.619
That's right.
00:27:07.019 --> 00:27:08.059
How do we avoid the ditches?
00:27:08.140 --> 00:27:10.220
And let me just summarize the ditches as best as I can.
00:27:10.379 --> 00:27:14.059
Workaholicism, whatever that is, but you know what it is.
00:27:14.220 --> 00:27:15.900
Uh I think we all have a sense for what it is.
00:27:16.059 --> 00:27:28.460
Workaholicism, uh, entertainment saturation, your home, focus on me time, always thinking me time as a priority versus God time uh ministering to others.
00:27:28.619 --> 00:27:31.420
Um how do we uh how do we avoid these ditches?
00:27:31.740 --> 00:27:39.980
Well, I think you know, for for dads out there that are really feeling this heavy, it might be a time to back up and consider that.
00:27:40.299 --> 00:27:41.420
What is it, 44 hours?
00:27:41.500 --> 00:27:41.900
How much is it?
00:27:42.140 --> 00:27:42.460
44 hours.
00:27:43.339 --> 00:27:47.259
We landed on and back up and and and and think about these categories.
00:27:47.660 --> 00:27:49.420
God's given me him.
00:27:49.740 --> 00:27:51.339
I I need to worship my God.
00:27:51.579 --> 00:27:58.700
He's given me a wife, he's given me children, so a family, he's given me a church body, and you know, and I need to work, you know.
00:27:58.779 --> 00:28:04.779
I probably need to work unless I'm independently wealthy or something like that, which you probably need to work still, anyway, in some regard.
00:28:04.940 --> 00:28:06.700
But and he's given me ministry.
00:28:06.779 --> 00:28:09.740
He's and and we need to sometimes do a reset.
00:28:09.819 --> 00:28:11.500
And I think that's probably good for all of us.
00:28:11.660 --> 00:28:16.779
Occasionally just go, yeah, let me do some self-examination of how am I stewarding my time.
00:28:17.660 --> 00:28:19.660
And also seeking maximum fruitfulness.
00:28:19.819 --> 00:28:30.859
I just spoke on this in another program, but maximal fruitfulness doesn't just mean bottom line, you know, we made a million and a half dollars and I'm dying with the most toys.
00:28:31.500 --> 00:28:32.140
Yay.
00:28:32.539 --> 00:28:33.259
We all know that.
00:28:33.339 --> 00:28:49.180
Yeah, we all know maximum fruitfulness for your family over the next 48 years of your existence will be children who love God, children who serve others, children who who just love to show charity, a family that just pours out charity and serves people in the church.
00:28:49.259 --> 00:28:57.339
And you know, you can I think you can picture something of what a maximum fruitful family life would look like over 45 to 50 years.
00:28:57.660 --> 00:29:03.180
Danny, you got a vision for that or just some aspects of this that is starting to formulate in your mind?
00:29:03.660 --> 00:29:06.460
I was thinking of 1 Corinthians 16, 15.
00:29:06.619 --> 00:29:08.059
Uh, actually start at first 14.
00:29:08.299 --> 00:29:09.980
Let all that you do be done with love.
00:29:10.059 --> 00:29:25.099
I urge you, brethren, you know the household of Stephanus, that it is a first fruit of a Caiah, that they have devoted themselves, or some translations render it literally addicted themselves to the ministry of the saints.
00:29:25.259 --> 00:29:25.660
Yeah, that's right.
00:29:25.900 --> 00:29:37.180
And as I think about my parents' heritage and uh the the the way that I was raised, pretty much from the time I was five, my parents were involved in ministry.
00:29:37.500 --> 00:29:42.059
So my my my and before before that, to be honest, dad was in church ministry.
00:29:42.539 --> 00:29:58.700
And so um there's different ways, obviously, that we serve the Lord, but to answer your question, uh this is what I want to be true of us is that uh our family would be addicted to the ministry of the saints, to the cause of Christ's kingdom.
00:29:59.019 --> 00:30:04.539
Now I have to check myself uh very often why am I doing what am I doing, what uh what I'm doing.
00:30:04.619 --> 00:30:08.140
Uh is it truly out of love for the Lord and love for others?
00:30:08.539 --> 00:30:17.819
But uh may God make it so in our family that our children and that we ourselves would be addicted to his kingdom and to serving others in his kingdom.
00:30:18.140 --> 00:30:18.460
That's right.
00:30:18.539 --> 00:30:18.940
That's right.
00:30:19.019 --> 00:30:19.660
Yeah, that's right.
00:30:19.900 --> 00:30:22.859
And and just a reminder, we need to do all things in faith.
00:30:23.259 --> 00:30:29.420
So if you find yourself in something, you know, I mean, that's a good question that I just try to ask myself.
00:30:29.579 --> 00:30:30.460
Am I doing this in faith?
00:30:30.539 --> 00:30:33.259
And then I find out I probably shouldn't even be doing this right now.
00:30:33.500 --> 00:30:43.099
I'm doing it for, you know, some other outside external influences telling me I need to do it, or it's a self-driven, selfish desire I'm doing it.
00:30:43.180 --> 00:30:47.259
No, am I doing all things in faith to the Lord for His for His kingdom come?
00:30:47.500 --> 00:30:48.460
Yeah, very good.
00:30:48.700 --> 00:31:10.140
Pushing for maximum fruitfulness for families today and praying for it, uh, envisioning it, uh planning it out, prioritizing for it, and hopefully implementing wise and thoughtful priorities to achieve that maximum fruitfulness over the next 48 years of our family life through the generations as well.
00:31:10.299 --> 00:31:14.220
That's the vision today on the Generations broadcast with Disciples for Dads.
00:31:14.299 --> 00:31:22.220
Thank you, Todd Strasser, Danny Craig, and yours truly, Kevin Swanson, inviting you back again next time as we continue to lay down a vision for the next generation.
00:31:31.900 --> 00:31:34.859
This has been a production of the Generations Media Network.
00:31:35.019 --> 00:31:38.059
For more information, go to generations.org/slash media.
