Introducing Dr Nadia & Zinzi's Podcast - Forbidden

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Before we get started with today's episode,
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I would like to quickly read you our podcast
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disclaimer.
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This podcast is for educational
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purposes only, and it is
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not a substitute for professional care
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by a doctor or other qualified
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medical professional.
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You should always speak with your physician
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or other healthcare professionals before
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doing any fasting, changing
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your diet in any way, taking or
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adjusting any medications or supplements,
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or adopting any treatment plan
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for a health problem.
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The use of any other products or
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services purchased by you as a result
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of this podcast does not create
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a healthcare provider-patient
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relationship between you and
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any of the experts affiliated
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with this podcast.
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Any information and statements
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regarding dietary supplements have not
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been evaluated by the Food and Drug
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Administration and are not intended
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to diagnose, treat, cure,
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or prevent any disease.
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All right. And now we'll get started with
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today's episode.
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Hi everyone. It's Megan Ramos here with
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another episode of The Fasting Method
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podcast. It's actually been a minute since
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I've recorded, but I'm super excited to hop
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back into it today.
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We have some very special guests.
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I'd like to introduce these two incredible
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ladies who have changed my life, and it's
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such a pleasure to be part of their journey
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as well. And it's also kind of a weird
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introduction because she is usually
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my co-host on these podcasts, but, today,
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she's here as a guest.
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It's been a minute.
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We'd like to welcome Dr. Nadia and her
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incredible daughter, Zinzi, to the show.
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How are you doing today, ladies?
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Hi, everyone.
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I'm good. How about you, Zinzi? .
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I'm good, thank you.
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We just spent the last 20 minutes catching
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up because Megan and I, whenever
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we're together, it's-- yeah, but it's been a
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minute.
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It has been a minute. I mean, we've been so
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privileged to work with friends, who
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are like family, over the years,
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and, as Nadia shared on a previous episode
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of The Fasting Method podcast, she had a real
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big move to Dubai and
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just a lot of motherhood stuff to
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focus on. So she's stepped away
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from doing some Fasting Method stuff,
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although I'm trying to reel her back in for a
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few webinars this summer, or special
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workshops this summer, rather, But, aside
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from that, she started a really cool project
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with her daughter, Zinzi, and they have a
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really incredible story to tell.
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So, Nadia, Zinzi, tell us what you've
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been up to during this break, since we
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last heard from Dr. Nadia.
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I'm going to let Zinzi take over because she,
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I think you'll-- when she starts talking,
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she's great.
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If I do all the talking, then
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we're going to miss out, really.
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So how about, Zinzi, you tell us what's our
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life been like since August?
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I'll start with this.
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I recorded with, I think
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it was Terri, right, in July.
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And I told everybody in our community that,
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after eight years, eight amazing years,
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I needed to take some time for
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my family and for myself, not just because we
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were moving from Europe to Dubai, so
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from Portugal, where we were, to Dubai.
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But I did allude to, in that recording,
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that there was some stuff going on in our
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family. I was feeling very overwhelmed.
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In the meantime, no surprise, no shocker
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(I mean, it's going to be in the show notes)
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that I started a podcast. It was sort of one
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of these spur-of-the-moment things.
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Plus, I had some experience with you, right?
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You and I had been doing the TFM
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podcast for a while.
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And so, out of nowhere, Zinzi
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and I were sitting in a car driving back from
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one of her photoshoots for her dance (you
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know, she does performing arts and whatnot),
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and decided on the spot, "Hey,
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let's start a podcast." And I think it was a
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brilliant idea because it really did open
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up the conversation between Zinzi and I.
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During the very first episode of our podcast,
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I said, "You know, some of you may know
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that I took some time off work, and the
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reason for it is sitting right here in front
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of me, and that's my 14 year old daughter
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(13 at a time), Zinzi, who
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has an eating disorder." And that's how we
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started our podcast.
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And so I'll let Zinzi tell
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us a bit more what we've been up to.
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Okay. Since October,
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we've been recording almost every week
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and we've just been sharing kind of what it's
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been like with disordered eating and
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binge eating.
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We've done six episodes so far, and, in the
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midst of that, discovered that-- well, we
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sort of knew. I had some suspicions
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that Zinzi was neurodivergent.
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I think we both are, Zinzi and I, always
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talking about her superpowers, right, because
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neurodivergent people often have superpowers.
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So we
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went down that rabbit hole and then
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Zinzi got diagnosed with ADHD.
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So our podcast has really been talking about
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the relationship between disordered
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eating and-- recently, in the
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neurodivergents, the ADHD-- and why
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it is that women, particularly women and
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girls, that have ADHD, are
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3.6 times more likely to have an eating
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disorder. And so the more we talk about
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it, the more we get feedback from people
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telling us, "Oh my gosh, that was me," you
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know, "This is me," "That sounds like me."
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And we have full-grown women sending
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us messages saying how
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much they've learned from a 13, 14-year-old
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now. And so this is what really is
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getting us to continue.
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And from the beginning, we continue with this
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motto of 'no blame, no shame' because I think
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that was a big thing that was holding us
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back. It was the guilt that I felt.
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I wouldn't tell people about it, I wouldn't
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share-- Zinzi's had some form of disordered
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eating since she was six months old.
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And so it was-- the guilt of it
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was huge. And then it was really, you
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know, the influence of-- luckily, the
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tide is sort of-- things are changing
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and more and more people are being so
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open about their neurodivergence
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or eating disorders.
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And so it was in that conversation in the car
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that Zinzi and I thought, "This is what we've
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gotta do. We've got to talk about it openly."
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Even within our family, it's made such a huge
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difference. Older generations,
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the way they look at Zinzi and I.
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You know, the same people that maybe only a
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few months ago were
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criticizing us quite a bit, right (with the
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best of intentions, I always say this),
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they're the same people that are now able to
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look at this and say, "Oh my gosh, you guys
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are helping so many people.
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This is so great.
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You're doing the right thing." All of a
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sudden, just us saying to
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ourselves, "No blame, no shame,"
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has had such an impact, even on the people
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around us.
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I think it's so incredibly brave.
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I was really excited when I heard about your
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podcast coming out.
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It's called Forbidden, for anyone who's
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listening today who wants to check it out.
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Then you and I connected, Nadia, and I
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thought, "We've got to bring this to people,"
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because, when I first thought of it-- you
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know, of course, this is her home.
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She's always welcome on this podcast to talk
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about anything she wants, but something
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that Nadia (especially as the mom
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of young, adolescent girls)
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was constantly asked in our community is
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how to help people's children,
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grandchildren, nieces and nephews, especially
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daughters, in this day and age with social
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media and all this kind of stuff.
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And it was like, okay, there are so many
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parents, so many grandparents, aunts, uncles
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who need to hear this, and need to learn
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about it, and educate themselves because
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they're begging for it in our community
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and in our coaching program.
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I've been following along for a lot
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of the journey so far.
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It hasn't been perfect because, as I shared,
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my son doesn't sleep and neither do I,
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but it's just been really interesting for me,
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as an adult.
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And I started to think how this could be so
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interesting for other women in our community,
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of all ages, because I truly believe,
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in order to understand where you are and
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where you need to go, you need to understand
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where you came from.
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So hearing Zinzi talk, Zinzi and you
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sharing your story, and being so open
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and vulnerable with everybody, you
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know, even a 40-year-old woman like me is
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saying, "Okay, I had anorexia
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nervosa at 14." I was actually
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hospitalized at the hospital for sick
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children very briefly for it, and
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then I was in outpatient therapy for like
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a year dealing with it.
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And then, at 20, I was finally diagnosed
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with ADHD because, especially
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back then, girls did not get diagnosed,
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like, it wasn't even thought to be something
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a girl could have.
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And then when I was recently pregnant (well,
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it's not that recent, my kids almost
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a year and a half now), we had a doula,
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and she was going through some stuff with me,
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and she was like, "You're a highly-sensitive
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person." And I was just
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like, "Well, I'm just empathetic."
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And then she was like, "No, you're
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neurodivergent." And I was
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like, "What are you talking about?
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I'm one of these functional-health people.
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I'm a bit of a guru.
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I would know if I'm this or that." And then
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she just kind of rolled her eyes at me and
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was like, "All right, let's just proceed with
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your birthing plan." And then I started
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looking into it and I was like, "Oh my gosh,
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these patterns." I'm kind of like you,
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Zinzi, I suspect, like, from really early
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on I had-- I've always had weird
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eating things, for as long as I can remember.
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And my mom will always tell me too,
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since a baby, these patterns.
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So it's been so eye opening for me to sort
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of understand how I got here.
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Now, obviously, I'm in a pretty good health
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place and have a good relationship with food
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now, but I think it's so important
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to have this understanding and even reflect
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this far into my journey.
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So I want to hear sort of what are the big
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messages that you really want to get
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out there, really want people to just start
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understanding about these
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relationships, how they tie in with eating
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addictions.
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I think one that's very important,
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not just eating disorders or ADHD
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or anything, is that people have things that
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they can't control.
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People need to understand that and know that
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because, like I said in one of the episodes
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that we've recorded, you can't just judge
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someone not knowing what's really going on.
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It's so important.
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This is so true. The neurodivergence thing,
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which, again, superpowers, right?
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The neurodivergent people are the
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entrepreneurs.
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I think we talk about [unintelligible] at
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some point, Zinzi and I, because now we're
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always trying to diagnose people, right?
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[laughter] And so it's so interesting.
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I follow a lot of these experts,
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these doctors, that talk about
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why ADHD (it's a genetic trait)
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has sort of not been wiped out, and
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it's because these were the hunter-gatherers,
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these were the people that protected their
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communities, these were the people that had
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an immense amount of energy to actually do
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the work. You know, maybe our soldiers.
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You know, these are the people that
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stand out.
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And so, as they say, ADHD
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and neurodivergence really works for people
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until it doesn't.
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And then it's these things, you know, like
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binge eating.
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Obviously, this is not working because, up
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until now, it was totally working for her.
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And we hear a lot about women, like you were
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saying, that don't get diagnosed until much
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later, usually until they have kids.
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Because up until then, they can balance all
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the balls, they can juggle all the balls.
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The minute that they have a kid-- and I was
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like that. You know, I wonder about my own--
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I definitely wouldn't say-- and I think you
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know me well enough. I definitely wouldn't
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say that I am typical, neurotypical.
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So, anyway, we're all on the spectrum, no
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doubt about it, but what Zinzi just said is
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that, had we understood this, especially
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with her eating journey, it
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would have been so much better because,
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instead of blaming her and spending so
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much time-- and I talked about this.
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This is one of the messages, like you said,
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you know, what would I-- it's this people
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have no idea how stressful being
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around a dinner table can be for a family
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of people with eating disorders,
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how stressful.
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How much-- not just the criticism that's
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there, but on both sides,
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and then everyone else around because
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everyone has an opinion.
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And I think that, if you come to the table
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already armed with the information that we've
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just recently found out, it makes
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a big difference. It makes a huge difference.
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You know, you deal with things totally
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different. It brings down the stress a ton.
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And you were saying, Megan, that you went
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through all of this as a younger woman, and
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now you have a great relationship with food.
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And so will Zinzi.
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She will have a great relationship with food.
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No doubt about that.
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And you both, ladies, both
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of you are doing such hard work.
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You know, you're digging in, learning
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the information, and then information
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enables us to take action, which is
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a huge superpower.
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So I know people who are listening have
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two big focuses.
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Nadia, you know where I'm going with this.
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One, they want to know how do they get this
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information?
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How do they find out about
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diagnoses?
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Is it something that they have to do
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on their own, kind of like a lot of their
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metabolic health they're figuring out on
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their own, or are there any resources
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(aside from your podcast of course) that you
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have found to be super helpful?
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I know you go through a lot of this stuff in
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your podcast, so everyone should 100% follow,
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subscribe.
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Wherever you are, you're going to learn so
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much to help you and your family.
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And then, two, what great actions have you
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taken? What steps are you taking at home
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to get from this place of, 'okay,
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we're struggling' to 'now we're making
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progress'. And, again, I know a lot of
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this is in your podcast, too, but, if you
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could share some snippets of each
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of these information pathways with our
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listeners, that would be fantastic.
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Well, I wanted to say something that's
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really-- I think this is the place to say it.
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If it wasn't for this community, the TFM
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Community, none of this would be happening.
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I was telling Zinzi this today.
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They were the first people that I talked to
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openly and honestly about this in safety.
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I felt so safe.
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I didn't feel safe in my own world.
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And so, if it wasn't for the TFM Community,
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I would not have gotten to where we are
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today, I wouldn't have taken the steps that I
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00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,119
have taken, and I wouldn't have even realized
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most of this. It was that community,
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00:14:11,460 --> 00:14:13,709
particular individuals in that community,
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00:14:13,710 --> 00:14:15,509
that talked to me for the very first time
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about my mom guilt and how
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I needed to address that, and so many other
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things. There are still people in the
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Community that I still get amazing
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messages from, to this day,
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and I believe I will continue to.
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I still feel like I'm part of that community,
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even though I've taken some time away.
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So first, I wanted to-- because I know a lot
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00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:35,729
of them are listening in-- that many
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00:14:35,730 --> 00:14:38,099
of them I had shared-- it was such a safe
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00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:40,379
place for me to come and to share, so
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I owe them a ton.
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00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:44,379
And just sharing their stories-- I learned--
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I always said this, right, even as a coach,
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00:14:46,950 --> 00:14:49,649
that I've learned a lot more from
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00:14:49,650 --> 00:14:51,959
our community and our clients than
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00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:53,159
I've ever taught them.
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And I believe that to be true to this day.
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So our podcast is on my YouTube
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channel. It's doctornadia.com.
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That's my website and YouTube.
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00:15:02,820 --> 00:15:03,869
So you can go to
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d o c t o r n a d i a, spell out Dr. Nadia,
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00:15:08,070 --> 00:15:09,299
and that's my YouTube.
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For now, it's a video podcast
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00:15:12,270 --> 00:15:14,729
because Zinzi likes to be on video.
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00:15:14,730 --> 00:15:17,039
She's a performer. We talk a ton about this.
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This is one of her many superpowers, her
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00:15:18,900 --> 00:15:21,569
hyperfocus, which makes her extremely
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00:15:21,570 --> 00:15:23,879
dedicated. So you can get a lot in that,
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00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:25,799
but it really is step-by-step, and it has
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00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,329
been step-by-step with us.
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I'm always maybe a step or two ahead of
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00:15:29,550 --> 00:15:32,129
Zinzi, but it's because I'm learning
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00:15:32,130 --> 00:15:34,439
and preparing before I
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00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:35,429
throw her in there.
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In the six episodes that we have
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00:15:37,830 --> 00:15:40,289
recorded, in the show notes, I've shared
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00:15:40,290 --> 00:15:43,079
all the links, all the research.
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00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:44,609
So we've done a bit of everything.
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00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:47,039
Recently, somebody from the Community
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00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,439
recommended a book (it's actually a textbook)
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that I cannot wait to receive, and I'll
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00:15:51,810 --> 00:15:54,342
be reading it and then of course sharing it.
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00:15:54,343 --> 00:15:56,819
At this point, Zinzi has a
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00:15:56,820 --> 00:15:58,259
psychiatrist.
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00:15:58,260 --> 00:16:00,779
She did have some counseling in Portugal,
439
00:16:00,780 --> 00:16:02,759
but it wasn't focused on this and they were
440
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,309
so off the mark, unfortunately, like so
441
00:16:05,310 --> 00:16:07,649
off. And I felt like I was
442
00:16:07,650 --> 00:16:09,959
pretty sure of what was going on.
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00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:12,449
And so at this point, luckily for us,
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00:16:12,450 --> 00:16:14,249
you know, she's got a psychiatrist that deals
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00:16:14,250 --> 00:16:16,739
with her ADHD, she's medicated
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00:16:16,740 --> 00:16:19,199
for the ADHD. It has made a difference.
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00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:20,639
And I think this is what she was talking
448
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:22,649
about. You know, it's really important when
449
00:16:22,650 --> 00:16:24,839
we are able to say to somebody, "Really, it's
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00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,179
not your fault. It's not that you don't know
451
00:16:27,180 --> 00:16:29,459
what to do or how to do it,
452
00:16:29,460 --> 00:16:31,169
but, really, if you ever-- so you were
453
00:16:31,170 --> 00:16:32,894
asking, do people really have to sometimes
454
00:16:34,050 --> 00:16:35,819
diagnose this in themselves?
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00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:37,979
But this is the grassroots movement that
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00:16:37,980 --> 00:16:40,079
we're used to, right, advocating for
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00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,989
yourself. And then finding the right experts.
458
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There are a ton out there.
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00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:46,589
She's going to start seeing a counselor who
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specializes in both ADHD and
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eating disorders. Not a shocker considering
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the immense link out there.
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And so I would highly advise, especially
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women-- again, it's very likely
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that a woman may have ADHD
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and never have been diagnosed because we mask
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it. We are master hiders.
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We spend so much of our energy, as women--
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and I say 'we', not that I
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have ADHD. I'm not sure that I do, but I
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00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,598
definitely think that there's some
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neurodivergence, and that's worked in my
473
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:20,039
favor, right? I hyperfocused
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00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,015
on school. Zinzi is all about performing,
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00:17:22,016 --> 00:17:24,299
but, for me, it's all about how I always
476
00:17:24,300 --> 00:17:25,559
want to show off my brains.
477
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I want to exercise my brain, I want to learn
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as much as I can, and share as much as I can.
479
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And so, if there are women out there who feel
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like-- and these are the women that I've
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00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:37,079
always worked with, you know, the CEOs, the
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00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,389
surgeons, the mothers of five
483
00:17:39,390 --> 00:17:41,759
and eight kids that just can do
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00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,829
it all, but they would say to me, "Why is it
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00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:46,139
that I can do it all and I can't do this?
486
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I cannot deal with food?"
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00:17:48,630 --> 00:17:50,549
And so I think that's key.
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As far as kids and teenagers go,
489
00:17:53,550 --> 00:17:56,039
my real concern is we don't get them properly
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00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:57,269
diagnosed.
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00:17:57,270 --> 00:17:58,547
They're going to be a lot more labelled in
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00:17:58,548 --> 00:18:01,799
life. People are very worried about labels,
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00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:04,079
but, if kids don't get properly diagnosed,
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00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:05,429
they're a lot more labeled, a lot more
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00:18:05,430 --> 00:18:06,419
criticized.
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00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:08,549
Then we don't know what to do either, so we
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00:18:08,550 --> 00:18:09,749
can't help them.
498
00:18:09,750 --> 00:18:11,879
But there's a lot to this.
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00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,309
The food addiction that comes with this
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00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:16,679
could later on move on to other
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00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,629
substances. And so it's really important that
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00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:20,549
we understand this very early on.
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00:18:20,550 --> 00:18:22,679
And I'm very concerned about that from having
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00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,349
other experiences and seeing other people's
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00:18:25,350 --> 00:18:26,969
experiences. So we're learning from each
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00:18:26,970 --> 00:18:28,169
other really.
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00:18:28,170 --> 00:18:30,140
That's fantastic. It is hard work.
508
00:18:30,141 --> 00:18:32,699
It is definitely hard work.
509
00:18:32,700 --> 00:18:35,369
You're doing a lot of great things - seeking
510
00:18:35,370 --> 00:18:37,739
the right experts, identifying when an
511
00:18:37,740 --> 00:18:40,049
expert doesn't necessarily feel right, and
512
00:18:40,050 --> 00:18:42,509
then pivoting to someone who does.
513
00:18:42,510 --> 00:18:44,489
And then, because of your background, you're
514
00:18:44,490 --> 00:18:46,259
able to say, "Okay, I don't think that
515
00:18:46,260 --> 00:18:48,749
person's doing so well in serving
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00:18:48,750 --> 00:18:49,889
my kid.
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00:18:49,890 --> 00:18:51,959
This is kind of what I think's going on.
518
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:54,239
You know, let's explore this path with the
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00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,519
expert that's a little bit more niche in
520
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,799
this particular subject and
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00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,689
see what's going on there." So a lot of
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00:19:00,690 --> 00:19:02,069
expert supports.
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00:19:02,070 --> 00:19:03,869
Are there some strategies that you're
524
00:19:03,870 --> 00:19:06,419
implementing at home as a family
525
00:19:06,420 --> 00:19:09,239
to help Zinzi feel more comfortable
526
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:11,609
being Zinzi and just like thriving
527
00:19:11,610 --> 00:19:12,630
in all of the amazing
528
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:16,169
Zinziness [laughs] that you are?
529
00:19:16,170 --> 00:19:17,879
What are some little things that you're doing
530
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,739
at home (maybe it's just you, Zinzi) that
531
00:19:19,740 --> 00:19:22,049
you're trying to focus on every day
532
00:19:22,050 --> 00:19:24,299
to help you sort of crush this journey?
533
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:26,669
Because, like your mom said, you've got so
534
00:19:26,670 --> 00:19:28,379
many superpowers.
535
00:19:28,380 --> 00:19:29,999
So it's like saying, "Okay, I've got these
536
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,949
superpowers. They're not deficits, they're
537
00:19:31,950 --> 00:19:34,289
superpowers. How am
538
00:19:34,290 --> 00:19:36,809
I going to exploit these superpowers to be
539
00:19:36,810 --> 00:19:39,459
a superhuman and incredible woman?"
540
00:19:39,460 --> 00:19:41,279
Or are there some things that you're doing at
541
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,619
home or at school that you've found to
542
00:19:43,620 --> 00:19:45,179
be really helpful?
543
00:19:45,180 --> 00:19:47,219
At home, I think it's really just like the
544
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:49,799
little things that will make you go
545
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,379
far. For example, just normal
546
00:19:52,380 --> 00:19:54,689
things like remembering to put an hour
547
00:19:54,690 --> 00:19:57,869
of work in every single day of studying.
548
00:19:57,870 --> 00:20:00,839
Also, at school, I've started using an online
549
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:03,539
calendar and reminders because, before, when
550
00:20:03,540 --> 00:20:05,249
I had homework, I just physically couldn't
551
00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:07,589
remember, and, by the day it was due,
552
00:20:07,590 --> 00:20:09,749
I didn't even know we had it because I
553
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,789
probably wasn't even paying attention in the
554
00:20:11,790 --> 00:20:13,169
class.
555
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:15,839
And just things like keeping
556
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,299
schedules for things has been helping.
557
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,219
Like, I'll do this at this time and this at
558
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,629
this time just to be able to stay on track.
559
00:20:22,630 --> 00:20:23,009
That's great.
560
00:20:23,010 --> 00:20:25,109
You know, a lot of times women and girls with
561
00:20:25,110 --> 00:20:27,629
ADHD get misdiagnosed with anxiety,
562
00:20:27,630 --> 00:20:29,104
right? And Zinzi was one of those people.
563
00:20:29,105 --> 00:20:31,199
And, of course, I was diagnosed with anxiety,
564
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,479
too, and it probably was something else, or
565
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:35,459
maybe it's anxiety because of.
566
00:20:35,460 --> 00:20:37,711
And so in Zinzi's case, it definitely-- her
567
00:20:37,712 --> 00:20:40,079
anxiety came from not being able to organize
568
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:42,899
herself. So the fact that she is now
569
00:20:42,900 --> 00:20:45,329
focusing on organizing herself
570
00:20:45,330 --> 00:20:46,769
lowers that anxiety.
571
00:20:46,770 --> 00:20:48,449
And I used to say this over and over again to
572
00:20:48,450 --> 00:20:50,789
my husband. I would say, "They diagnosed
573
00:20:50,790 --> 00:20:53,069
her with anxiety, want to medicate her for
574
00:20:53,070 --> 00:20:54,539
it, and they think that that's it," but the
575
00:20:54,540 --> 00:20:56,206
reason why she-- and because she can't
576
00:20:56,207 --> 00:20:58,409
organise herself. I used to say this over and
577
00:20:58,410 --> 00:21:00,749
over again, but, food-wise, what are
578
00:21:00,750 --> 00:21:02,489
some things? Again, it's always the mini
579
00:21:02,490 --> 00:21:05,189
steps, because the goal is to--
580
00:21:05,190 --> 00:21:07,589
as Zinzi said, as you said, Megan,
581
00:21:07,590 --> 00:21:08,759
the goal is to create a healthy relationship
582
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,069
with food so that she
583
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:12,839
can eventually get there.
584
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:14,489
It's not one day to the next.
585
00:21:14,490 --> 00:21:16,439
We're not focusing on-- and this is our
586
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:18,189
disclaimer in our podcast We're not here to
587
00:21:18,190 --> 00:21:20,439
give medical advice or nutritional advice.
588
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,839
We're not focusing on weight loss,
589
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,209
especially at this age with her and
590
00:21:25,210 --> 00:21:27,819
her large group of girlfriends.
591
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:28,830
Large group. The
592
00:21:30,670 --> 00:21:33,009
concern here-- The other mothers have reached
593
00:21:33,010 --> 00:21:35,139
out to me because the concern here is body
594
00:21:35,140 --> 00:21:37,179
image. So we're going to be talking about
595
00:21:37,180 --> 00:21:38,829
this, I think, at some point in the podcast a
596
00:21:38,830 --> 00:21:40,059
lot more than we have.
597
00:21:40,060 --> 00:21:42,399
We cannot focus on weight loss at this point.
598
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,949
That cannot be our focus because we know,
599
00:21:44,950 --> 00:21:46,659
Megan, right? It's not about weight loss,
600
00:21:46,660 --> 00:21:48,069
it's about lifestyle.
601
00:21:48,070 --> 00:21:50,349
And at this point, the focus
602
00:21:50,350 --> 00:21:52,839
has to be on having a healthy
603
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:55,329
relationship with food and really
604
00:21:55,330 --> 00:21:57,639
just understanding how certain
605
00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:59,919
things-- so Zinzi and I are at that point
606
00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:02,919
where we've started to talk about addictions
607
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,229
and a lot of other things.
608
00:22:05,230 --> 00:22:07,509
And so it's this idea that there are certain
609
00:22:07,510 --> 00:22:08,889
things that people with an addictive
610
00:22:08,890 --> 00:22:10,839
personality like this should just never go
611
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:13,629
near, and understanding this early on
612
00:22:13,630 --> 00:22:14,619
is important.
613
00:22:14,620 --> 00:22:15,669
We know this, right?
614
00:22:15,670 --> 00:22:17,635
In our field, our community, we know that
615
00:22:17,636 --> 00:22:19,959
junk food, processed food, anything
616
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,359
outside of real food is going to have--
617
00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:23,709
and that's the textbook that I've actually
618
00:22:23,710 --> 00:22:24,909
received to read.
619
00:22:24,910 --> 00:22:27,429
It actually makes the connection between
620
00:22:27,430 --> 00:22:29,649
food addiction and addiction to other things,
621
00:22:29,650 --> 00:22:32,349
and why junk food is so addictive.
622
00:22:32,350 --> 00:22:34,689
Exactly what Zinzi was saying - you cannot
623
00:22:34,690 --> 00:22:37,509
be expected to have any control over
624
00:22:37,510 --> 00:22:40,029
these things. And we talk about this a ton
625
00:22:40,030 --> 00:22:42,549
in our community, but, out there, people
626
00:22:42,550 --> 00:22:44,649
maybe don't have that knowledge.
627
00:22:44,650 --> 00:22:46,959
And so Zinzi understands that, if she
628
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:48,729
chooses to have it (and she does choose to
629
00:22:48,730 --> 00:22:51,219
have it sometimes, and many times,
630
00:22:51,220 --> 00:22:53,859
especially at her age and with her friends),
631
00:22:53,860 --> 00:22:56,199
she is not expecting herself to have
632
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,839
control over junk food because she knows
633
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:00,189
what it's going to lead to.
634
00:23:00,190 --> 00:23:02,649
And it's not her fault, it's that
635
00:23:02,650 --> 00:23:05,019
thing's fault, and, eventually, she'll be
636
00:23:05,020 --> 00:23:07,329
at a point where she will make the choice
637
00:23:07,330 --> 00:23:09,219
like I do personally.
638
00:23:09,220 --> 00:23:11,799
She asks me, "How do you not eat it?"
639
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,889
Because, if I eat it, I cannot stop.
640
00:23:14,890 --> 00:23:17,349
And eventually she will have that power.
641
00:23:17,350 --> 00:23:18,609
And that's what we're working toward.
642
00:23:18,610 --> 00:23:20,769
So there's a lot of little things.
643
00:23:20,770 --> 00:23:22,359
Zinzi can probably think of them more than
644
00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:24,219
me, but there's a lot of little things that
645
00:23:24,220 --> 00:23:26,589
we are doing that I think are going
646
00:23:26,590 --> 00:23:28,419
to have a long-term impact.
647
00:23:28,420 --> 00:23:30,879
There's so much education that you're both
648
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,669
doing, and I think that's so powerful.
649
00:23:33,670 --> 00:23:35,889
You know, I've wanted to be a mom for, like,
650
00:23:35,890 --> 00:23:37,539
ever, as Nadia knows.
651
00:23:37,540 --> 00:23:40,239
Nadia has been a big pillar in my own
652
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,039
journey into motherhood.
653
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,169
Really, the more that I've learned, the more
654
00:23:44,170 --> 00:23:46,479
scared I was for this future kid that I was
655
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:48,579
going to have, especially knowing when we
656
00:23:48,580 --> 00:23:51,039
were moving from Canada to the United States,
657
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:52,629
because, while Canada is not that much
658
00:23:52,630 --> 00:23:54,459
better, there are still some food-safety
659
00:23:54,460 --> 00:23:56,049
things that just don't exist [in the US].
660
00:23:56,050 --> 00:23:58,749
And very recently, Red Dye
661
00:23:58,750 --> 00:24:00,429
No. 3, got banned.
662
00:24:00,430 --> 00:24:02,889
35 years too late here in the United
663
00:24:02,890 --> 00:24:05,049
States when it's been banned in Canada since
664
00:24:05,050 --> 00:24:07,509
like the 90s, or 80s, or something
665
00:24:07,510 --> 00:24:10,239
like that. So there is that added layer
666
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,099
of just like, oh my goodness.
667
00:24:12,100 --> 00:24:14,559
And so, you know, I've always (any time Nadia
668
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:16,959
has talked about this) just kind of listened
669
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:18,489
and listened. [laughs] You know, what's she
670
00:24:18,490 --> 00:24:20,589
doing? How is she navigating it?
671
00:24:20,590 --> 00:24:22,359
And then there's someone else in the
672
00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:24,999
functional health space, and he homeschools
673
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,069
his twin boys. And it's always been sort of a
674
00:24:27,070 --> 00:24:28,929
different parenting approach than I've
675
00:24:28,930 --> 00:24:31,839
usually seen. And I was watching this Q&A
676
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:34,299
(I think his kids were like ten at the time),
677
00:24:34,300 --> 00:24:36,699
and they were like, "How do you control food
678
00:24:36,700 --> 00:24:38,679
when they go to these social things?" Because
679
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,119
they're homeschooled, they make such an
680
00:24:40,120 --> 00:24:41,949
effort with socialization.
681
00:24:41,950 --> 00:24:44,139
So they're part of all these clubs, all these
682
00:24:44,140 --> 00:24:46,359
groups. And so there's just even more
683
00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:48,729
exposure to foods because communities get
684
00:24:48,730 --> 00:24:50,259
together over food.
685
00:24:50,260 --> 00:24:52,779
And he's like, "Listen, at home,
686
00:24:52,780 --> 00:24:54,939
we celebrate cooking together, we celebrate
687
00:24:54,940 --> 00:24:56,769
growing food together, we celebrate
688
00:24:56,770 --> 00:24:57,939
education.
689
00:24:57,940 --> 00:25:00,489
My kids know what gluten can do
690
00:25:00,490 --> 00:25:01,989
to them. We talk about it.
691
00:25:01,990 --> 00:25:04,299
You know, I don't fearmonger, but we talk
692
00:25:04,300 --> 00:25:07,389
about the science of it so they understand,"
693
00:25:07,390 --> 00:25:09,129
because he's like, "I have to release them
694
00:25:09,130 --> 00:25:10,119
into the world, right?
695
00:25:10,120 --> 00:25:12,249
They have to go. They have to socialize.
696
00:25:12,250 --> 00:25:14,289
They have to have these playdates.
697
00:25:14,290 --> 00:25:16,299
So they have whatever knowledge a
698
00:25:16,300 --> 00:25:18,549
ten-year-old can accumulate on, say,
699
00:25:18,550 --> 00:25:20,229
something like gluten," which was what the
700
00:25:20,230 --> 00:25:22,539
question was kind of framed around, "And then
701
00:25:22,540 --> 00:25:24,189
it's up to them to make the decision.
702
00:25:24,190 --> 00:25:26,349
And if they don't feel good afterwards, we
703
00:25:26,350 --> 00:25:28,779
talk about that food and how that food can
704
00:25:28,780 --> 00:25:29,769
lead to it.
705
00:25:29,770 --> 00:25:31,419
And then you just kind of hope they build up
706
00:25:31,420 --> 00:25:34,119
this knowledge base over time.".
707
00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:36,279
That stuck with me, everything you've shared
708
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:37,479
just stuck with me.
709
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:39,789
You and I interviewed Ben Bikman a thousand
710
00:25:39,790 --> 00:25:42,129
years ago about Halloween
711
00:25:42,130 --> 00:25:44,619
and his different strategies
712
00:25:44,620 --> 00:25:46,569
for his kids at Halloween.
713
00:25:46,570 --> 00:25:48,549
And so, you know, it's kind of what I'm
714
00:25:48,550 --> 00:25:49,629
trying to do.
715
00:25:49,630 --> 00:25:51,249
I'm in a different situation.
716
00:25:51,250 --> 00:25:53,529
My lifestyle has radically changed by
717
00:25:53,530 --> 00:25:54,819
having a kid.
718
00:25:54,820 --> 00:25:57,159
So, you know, he's 14 months and he has
719
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,799
a chef tower, and he has got his own cutting
720
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:02,139
board, and his own like choppy thing,
721
00:26:02,140 --> 00:26:04,119
and we try to involve him in the food
722
00:26:04,120 --> 00:26:06,069
process, even though it's disastrous,
723
00:26:06,070 --> 00:26:07,269
absolutely.
724
00:26:07,270 --> 00:26:09,069
And you know, just trying because,
725
00:26:09,070 --> 00:26:11,019
eventually-- I mean, we're here.
726
00:26:11,020 --> 00:26:13,509
This is where he's going to grow up and
727
00:26:13,510 --> 00:26:15,339
it's such a complicated landscape.
728
00:26:15,340 --> 00:26:17,669
And like you said, there's just-- everyone
729
00:26:17,670 --> 00:26:19,859
is quick to throw labels and not really
730
00:26:19,860 --> 00:26:22,379
investigate, not really try to use
731
00:26:22,380 --> 00:26:24,389
the knowledge that they're given to create
732
00:26:24,390 --> 00:26:26,939
these incredible super powers that all these
733
00:26:26,940 --> 00:26:28,649
incredible kids have.
734
00:26:28,650 --> 00:26:30,959
Something else that you touched where I was
735
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,969
like, "Yes, we need to talk about this," is
736
00:26:32,970 --> 00:26:34,808
women being falsely labeled with anxiety.
737
00:26:34,809 --> 00:26:37,349
Nowadays, we're seeing so many--
738
00:26:37,350 --> 00:26:40,019
we're seeing more young girls be identified
739
00:26:40,020 --> 00:26:42,419
with ADHD, of course, nowadays, especially
740
00:26:42,420 --> 00:26:44,159
here in the United States or in California
741
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,699
where I am, but also this huge anxiety,
742
00:26:46,700 --> 00:26:48,989
anxiety, anxiety label.
743
00:26:48,990 --> 00:26:50,729
Your comments about the clients that we've
744
00:26:50,730 --> 00:26:53,069
helped who all really powerful,
745
00:26:53,070 --> 00:26:54,719
incredible women.
746
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:57,119
Perfectionism is their biggest
747
00:26:57,120 --> 00:26:59,459
hurdle because they have crushed it
748
00:26:59,460 --> 00:27:01,799
in their professional lives and in
749
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,229
many aspects of their personal lives, and
750
00:27:04,230 --> 00:27:05,969
then they just keep tripping over themselves
751
00:27:05,970 --> 00:27:08,609
with this whole perfectionism with their diet
752
00:27:08,610 --> 00:27:09,749
and nutrition.
753
00:27:09,750 --> 00:27:11,759
And then there is a lot of labeling of
754
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:14,069
anxiety around all of it
755
00:27:14,070 --> 00:27:16,379
when there's a huge ADHD component
756
00:27:16,380 --> 00:27:19,739
of it that just never got diagnosed.
757
00:27:19,740 --> 00:27:22,019
I was 21 years old and I had
758
00:27:22,020 --> 00:27:24,509
just gotten 105% on an ecology
759
00:27:24,510 --> 00:27:27,059
exam. Ecology was a mandatory course for
760
00:27:27,060 --> 00:27:28,169
my degree program.
761
00:27:28,170 --> 00:27:30,329
It was not something I actually-- now I'm
762
00:27:30,330 --> 00:27:32,579
very interested in it, but, at 20 something,
763
00:27:32,580 --> 00:27:34,259
I was not interested in it.
764
00:27:34,260 --> 00:27:36,149
My professor called me in because the class
765
00:27:36,150 --> 00:27:37,619
average was 38.
766
00:27:37,620 --> 00:27:39,929
So I got 100% on the exam plus
767
00:27:39,930 --> 00:27:41,249
the bonus question.
768
00:27:41,250 --> 00:27:43,409
And she was like, "You sit there every class
769
00:27:43,410 --> 00:27:45,569
and you doodle and you don't listen to a damn
770
00:27:45,570 --> 00:27:46,859
word that I say.
771
00:27:46,860 --> 00:27:48,659
And if I were to call on you, you'd know
772
00:27:48,660 --> 00:27:50,549
nothing, but here you are.
773
00:27:50,550 --> 00:27:52,289
And I know you didn't cheat because everybody
774
00:27:52,290 --> 00:27:54,569
else in the class sucked [laughs], so you
775
00:27:54,570 --> 00:27:56,879
had no one to cheat off of." And she was
776
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:57,880
like, "You have ADHD.
777
00:27:58,740 --> 00:28:00,479
I'm going to refer you to the school
778
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:02,789
psychologist," or psychiatrist, I forget
779
00:28:02,790 --> 00:28:05,129
who I saw, "For evaluation," but
780
00:28:05,130 --> 00:28:06,419
she was like, "Don't forget, it's your
781
00:28:06,420 --> 00:28:08,399
superpower." She was like, "You've been
782
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:10,559
figuring out, at least academically, how to
783
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,079
make it your superpower because of natural
784
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,359
resourcefulness, but, if you don't explore
785
00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:17,549
this, it's going to crush you later in life,
786
00:28:17,550 --> 00:28:19,829
in all aspects of your life."
787
00:28:19,830 --> 00:28:22,259
And it was actually some of the therapy that
788
00:28:22,260 --> 00:28:24,449
I then went through that, when I got
789
00:28:24,450 --> 00:28:26,819
diagnosed with metabolic health, I thought,
790
00:28:26,820 --> 00:28:28,229
"Okay, I'm not going to start this
791
00:28:28,230 --> 00:28:29,249
perfectionism.
792
00:28:29,250 --> 00:28:30,569
I am going to relax.
793
00:28:30,570 --> 00:28:32,909
I'm going to chill if I go off track.
794
00:28:32,910 --> 00:28:34,619
I'm not going to beat myself up for it.
795
00:28:34,620 --> 00:28:36,479
I'm going to take this a radically different
796
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:38,759
approach than I would with anything else
797
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,099
in my life." And that's really kind
798
00:28:41,100 --> 00:28:43,469
of what saved me in the end and got me from
799
00:28:43,470 --> 00:28:45,779
a metabolically-bad place to a very good
800
00:28:45,780 --> 00:28:46,709
place.
801
00:28:46,710 --> 00:28:48,390
So the work you two are doing is
802
00:28:49,590 --> 00:28:52,289
absolutely incredible, and I was so,
803
00:28:52,290 --> 00:28:54,689
so excited when I saw that you were going
804
00:28:54,690 --> 00:28:56,879
to do this. We're so excited to keep
805
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,159
promoting it here and making sure everybody--
806
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:01,319
because I think, regardless of your age,
807
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:02,969
there's something that you can get out of
808
00:29:02,970 --> 00:29:05,759
this, because it does-- we see it, right,
809
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:07,409
Nadia, in 70-year-olds, 80-year-olds, who
810
00:29:07,410 --> 00:29:09,719
come to work with us at The Fasting Method
811
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:12,119
- these exact same patterns - but they didn't
812
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:14,009
have a mom with your background, they didn't
813
00:29:14,010 --> 00:29:16,259
live in this day and age where technology--
814
00:29:16,260 --> 00:29:18,059
like, there is better communication.
815
00:29:18,060 --> 00:29:19,919
Social media is a blessing and a curse,
816
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:21,539
right, in so many respects.
817
00:29:21,540 --> 00:29:23,369
So it's just awesome.
818
00:29:23,370 --> 00:29:25,739
What are your top-three pieces
819
00:29:25,740 --> 00:29:28,229
of advice to give to people out
820
00:29:28,230 --> 00:29:30,869
there right now who suspect
821
00:29:30,870 --> 00:29:33,029
that they might be going through a journey
822
00:29:33,030 --> 00:29:35,429
similar to Zinzi's or have a daughter
823
00:29:35,430 --> 00:29:37,979
or granddaughter going through it as well?
824
00:29:37,980 --> 00:29:39,929
Well, first of all, everything that you just
825
00:29:39,930 --> 00:29:41,039
said-- you know, you were talking about your
826
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:43,649
professor. It's all these women that maybe
827
00:29:43,650 --> 00:29:46,049
they didn't have somebody there for
828
00:29:46,050 --> 00:29:47,729
them, but they're now being the shining
829
00:29:47,730 --> 00:29:50,249
light. And for me, it's been all these women
830
00:29:50,250 --> 00:29:51,596
(like I talk about in the Community,
831
00:29:51,597 --> 00:29:53,969
including yourself), you know, we've sort
832
00:29:53,970 --> 00:29:56,369
of helped each other so much because
833
00:29:56,370 --> 00:29:58,619
we've gone through so many things that we
834
00:29:58,620 --> 00:30:00,059
didn't have other people to guide us through,
835
00:30:00,060 --> 00:30:01,319
right? So we helped each other.
836
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:03,059
And then whatever I would learn, I would
837
00:30:03,060 --> 00:30:04,649
share with you and vice versa.
838
00:30:04,650 --> 00:30:06,929
And so it's all of these amazing
839
00:30:06,930 --> 00:30:09,269
women, like you said, these 70, 80-year-old
840
00:30:09,270 --> 00:30:11,579
women that come into our community and
841
00:30:11,580 --> 00:30:13,409
they have so much wisdom.
842
00:30:13,410 --> 00:30:15,509
And if it weren't for that, I definitely
843
00:30:15,510 --> 00:30:17,699
wouldn't be doing this.
844
00:30:17,700 --> 00:30:20,129
And so, again, it's passing that forward,
845
00:30:20,130 --> 00:30:22,919
you know, pass this on, pass the information
846
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:25,949
on to people. People need this information.
847
00:30:25,950 --> 00:30:27,449
But three pieces of advice.
848
00:30:27,450 --> 00:30:30,419
For sure, know that neurodivergence
849
00:30:30,420 --> 00:30:32,759
and ADHD looks very different in
850
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:35,159
women and girls than it does in boys, okay?
851
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:37,109
So people would look at Zinzi-- even to this
852
00:30:37,110 --> 00:30:38,969
day, if I mention it, they'd be like,
853
00:30:38,970 --> 00:30:41,309
"Zinzi? No!" because they'd see
854
00:30:41,310 --> 00:30:43,529
this amazing girl, right?
855
00:30:43,530 --> 00:30:46,109
And so we have this preconceived notion
856
00:30:46,110 --> 00:30:48,689
of what ADHD and what neurodivergence
857
00:30:48,690 --> 00:30:50,759
looks like, and that is not what it looks
858
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:52,629
like. It looks like a Megan, it looks like a
859
00:30:52,630 --> 00:30:55,619
Zinzi. It is these very accomplished,
860
00:30:55,620 --> 00:30:57,929
very put-together, very
861
00:30:57,930 --> 00:31:00,569
smart-- there's just a lot going on in here,
862
00:31:00,570 --> 00:31:03,089
right? And so understand that.
863
00:31:03,090 --> 00:31:05,729
And, again, it is a superpower and it works,
864
00:31:05,730 --> 00:31:07,589
but there might be something that is not
865
00:31:07,590 --> 00:31:10,019
working for you. That might
866
00:31:10,020 --> 00:31:12,329
be extremely-- as your
867
00:31:12,330 --> 00:31:13,409
professor said to you.
868
00:31:13,410 --> 00:31:15,149
And so you need to be aware of that.
869
00:31:15,150 --> 00:31:17,829
And in Zinzi's case, and many
870
00:31:17,830 --> 00:31:19,569
of the people listening to us right now,
871
00:31:19,570 --> 00:31:21,669
because they're in this community, they have
872
00:31:21,670 --> 00:31:24,369
metabolic syndrome, it might be the food.
873
00:31:24,370 --> 00:31:25,749
It might be the food addiction, which,
874
00:31:25,750 --> 00:31:27,819
again-- it's not your fault for a number of
875
00:31:27,820 --> 00:31:30,219
reasons, but it certainly is not
876
00:31:30,220 --> 00:31:32,499
your fault that-- people say to me, you know,
877
00:31:32,500 --> 00:31:33,999
"Why is that me and my sister are so
878
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:35,859
different?" Zinzi has a sister.
879
00:31:35,860 --> 00:31:38,829
Her sister-- they're very similar physically.
880
00:31:38,830 --> 00:31:40,239
It's not the body, it's not the
881
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:42,099
[unintelligible], but it's the way that they
882
00:31:42,100 --> 00:31:44,139
react to food, right?
883
00:31:44,140 --> 00:31:46,449
The way that Zinzi is very different
884
00:31:46,450 --> 00:31:48,159
in the way-- and I'm not talking about
885
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:49,800
whether one does TRE.
886
00:31:49,801 --> 00:31:52,269
It's not that way of eating, it's
887
00:31:52,270 --> 00:31:54,549
really just her reaction to food.
888
00:31:54,550 --> 00:31:56,709
And we understand that that has to do with
889
00:31:56,710 --> 00:31:58,119
ADHD. It does have to do with the
890
00:31:58,120 --> 00:31:59,889
impulsivity, but it also has to do with the
891
00:31:59,890 --> 00:32:02,229
dopamine pathway, this idea
892
00:32:02,230 --> 00:32:04,249
that they need this kick over and over again.
893
00:32:04,250 --> 00:32:06,099
You're constantly looking for that next
894
00:32:06,100 --> 00:32:07,419
phase, that next kick.
895
00:32:07,420 --> 00:32:09,429
And you can see how dangerous that is in life
896
00:32:09,430 --> 00:32:10,419
in general.
897
00:32:10,420 --> 00:32:12,699
So understanding that- I think Zinzi will--
898
00:32:12,700 --> 00:32:14,409
just like a lot of people in our community,
899
00:32:14,410 --> 00:32:16,719
will have to understand-- And Terri talks
900
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:19,369
about this, right? Are we abstainers--
901
00:32:19,370 --> 00:32:21,729
Are you a moderator or an abstain?
902
00:32:21,730 --> 00:32:23,579
Can you be a moderator if you have ADHD?
903
00:32:24,700 --> 00:32:27,759
ADHD people are not moderating anything.
904
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:30,189
So I think that that
905
00:32:30,190 --> 00:32:32,379
would be, for sure, my first-- is just
906
00:32:32,380 --> 00:32:34,779
recognize that ADHD
907
00:32:34,780 --> 00:32:36,549
is different in women.
908
00:32:36,550 --> 00:32:39,039
Women with ADHD do not look like hyperactive
909
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:41,499
little boys. That is not what women-- their
910
00:32:41,500 --> 00:32:43,749
hyperactivity is in their brain, is in their
911
00:32:43,750 --> 00:32:46,089
mind, and, often, they can
912
00:32:46,090 --> 00:32:48,369
juggle all those things, they can do all
913
00:32:48,370 --> 00:32:50,709
these things, they do look like these super
914
00:32:50,710 --> 00:32:53,769
women until one of those balls drops.
915
00:32:53,770 --> 00:32:55,509
So recognize that in yourself.
916
00:32:56,650 --> 00:32:57,669
Anything else?
917
00:32:57,670 --> 00:32:58,689
Three pieces of advice.
918
00:32:58,690 --> 00:33:00,949
I think it's the 'no blame, no shame'.
919
00:33:00,950 --> 00:33:02,829
That's a big one because that has to do
920
00:33:02,830 --> 00:33:05,319
with-- all the most wonderful, most
921
00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:07,389
important people in your life might not be at
922
00:33:07,390 --> 00:33:09,399
a point yet where they can do that and want
923
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:11,859
to help you, or you may be the one trying
924
00:33:11,860 --> 00:33:14,409
to help somebody in your family, but
925
00:33:14,410 --> 00:33:16,209
blame and shame doesn't help.
926
00:33:16,210 --> 00:33:18,339
It makes it much, much, much worse.
927
00:33:18,340 --> 00:33:20,679
With Zinzi, it led to hiding, so that's what
928
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:23,889
we were working on more than anything.
929
00:33:23,890 --> 00:33:25,539
Of course, I understand that she's going to
930
00:33:25,540 --> 00:33:27,429
binge and have compulsive tendencies,
931
00:33:27,430 --> 00:33:29,139
especially in certain foods, because she
932
00:33:29,140 --> 00:33:31,569
definitely does not binge on real food.
933
00:33:31,570 --> 00:33:34,299
In fact, she doesn't even want to go near
934
00:33:34,300 --> 00:33:35,799
real food. She never has liked food.
935
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:36,800
She only likes junk food, right?
936
00:33:37,690 --> 00:33:39,459
It's not that she likes it, she's addicted to
937
00:33:39,460 --> 00:33:41,469
it. And there's a reason - she gets a huge
938
00:33:41,470 --> 00:33:43,749
dopoamine hit from these foods,
939
00:33:43,750 --> 00:33:45,249
right? We talk about dopamine in our
940
00:33:45,250 --> 00:33:47,019
community all the time so people really
941
00:33:47,020 --> 00:33:48,909
understand what this is like.
942
00:33:48,910 --> 00:33:51,249
And so I think that these are
943
00:33:51,250 --> 00:33:52,299
key things.
944
00:33:52,300 --> 00:33:54,039
I don't know if you have anything to add?
945
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:56,199
I do but it's not really related to what you
946
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:57,279
were just talking about.
947
00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:59,559
It's kind of more about image and
948
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:01,489
how people perceive you as, kind of what I
949
00:34:01,490 --> 00:34:03,369
was saying at the start, of like the
950
00:34:03,370 --> 00:34:04,779
judging-people thing.
951
00:34:04,780 --> 00:34:07,449
So people that have eating disorders
952
00:34:07,450 --> 00:34:09,908
or that are neurodivergent, there's obviously
953
00:34:09,909 --> 00:34:11,738
lots of flaws, but like women who are saying
954
00:34:11,739 --> 00:34:14,319
they're superpowers and pros.
955
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:16,718
Like, imagine, to me, a flaw
956
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:19,149
might be that I'm kind of crazy
957
00:34:19,150 --> 00:34:21,488
and, like, don't act calm
958
00:34:21,489 --> 00:34:23,829
around people, but, to other people--
959
00:34:23,830 --> 00:34:26,019
like in my school musical, for example,
960
00:34:26,020 --> 00:34:27,849
there's a phrase going around that's 'channel
961
00:34:27,850 --> 00:34:29,349
your inner Zinzi'.
962
00:34:29,350 --> 00:34:31,869
So instead of caging your inner Zinzi, so
963
00:34:31,870 --> 00:34:33,663
putting it away, to channel your inner Zinzi.
964
00:34:34,750 --> 00:34:37,509
So it's something to think-- like,
965
00:34:37,510 --> 00:34:39,849
sometimes things are a lot bigger in your
966
00:34:39,850 --> 00:34:41,529
head than they are in person.
967
00:34:41,530 --> 00:34:43,689
Because, to me, if I'm being crazy or
968
00:34:43,690 --> 00:34:45,968
something at school, like if
969
00:34:45,969 --> 00:34:48,369
I lose my friends or something--
970
00:34:48,370 --> 00:34:50,769
because sometimes when
971
00:34:50,770 --> 00:34:53,529
the mood is not necessarily a very upbeat,
972
00:34:53,530 --> 00:34:56,049
crazy mood, I just-- you know,
973
00:34:56,050 --> 00:34:58,539
it's not very easy to read the room.
974
00:34:58,540 --> 00:35:00,969
So it's the same thing with food, I guess, if
975
00:35:00,970 --> 00:35:02,919
you understand what I'm saying.
976
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:05,139
So, yeah.
977
00:35:05,140 --> 00:35:07,179
It's the diet. And so many of Terri's
978
00:35:07,180 --> 00:35:09,519
teachings-- you know, learning the dial,
979
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:11,799
right, that's very hard for people with
980
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:13,909
ADHD. My husband was talking to her about
981
00:35:13,910 --> 00:35:15,309
this, like learning how to read the room,
982
00:35:15,310 --> 00:35:17,699
it's really hard for somebody with ADHD
983
00:35:17,700 --> 00:35:18,969
to learn how to read the room.
984
00:35:18,970 --> 00:35:20,799
And so this applies to many things, including
985
00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:22,989
food. You can't regulate-- you can't
986
00:35:22,990 --> 00:35:25,029
self-regulate emotions, right?
987
00:35:25,030 --> 00:35:26,859
So, Zinzi-- you know, we-- Megan and I have
988
00:35:26,860 --> 00:35:28,809
talked about this a ton because we're talking
989
00:35:28,810 --> 00:35:30,639
about sleep and whatever-- Zinzi didn't sleep
990
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:32,169
until she was six.
991
00:35:32,170 --> 00:35:34,119
And not to scare Megan, but the reason why
992
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:36,369
she didn't sleep until she was six is because
993
00:35:36,370 --> 00:35:37,839
she couldn't self-regulate, so she couldn't
994
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:38,979
self-soothe.
995
00:35:38,980 --> 00:35:41,259
Had I known all of this, how much easier--
996
00:35:41,260 --> 00:35:43,089
if I had just understood, you know, she can
997
00:35:43,090 --> 00:35:45,579
not sleep because she can't self-soothe.
998
00:35:45,580 --> 00:35:48,009
That's why she nurses
999
00:35:48,010 --> 00:35:50,019
the way that she does, that's why she-- you
1000
00:35:50,020 --> 00:35:51,069
know, so many things.
1001
00:35:51,070 --> 00:35:52,599
And the same thing with food.
1002
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:54,339
Why was she so picky?
1003
00:35:54,340 --> 00:35:56,529
Why did she-- sorry, it's really late here,
1004
00:35:56,530 --> 00:35:59,919
right? Megan and I have a 12-hour,
1005
00:35:59,920 --> 00:36:01,059
time-zone difference.
1006
00:36:01,060 --> 00:36:02,539
It's 12 hours, right, Megan?
1007
00:36:02,540 --> 00:36:03,039
Yeah.
1008
00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:04,689
So it's really early for Megan, it's really
1009
00:36:04,690 --> 00:36:06,729
late for us. It's not really late, it's just,
1010
00:36:06,730 --> 00:36:08,772
like-- yeah, for us, it's late.
1011
00:36:08,773 --> 00:36:09,969
We start early.
1012
00:36:09,970 --> 00:36:12,369
But anyhow, it's all of these things,
1013
00:36:12,370 --> 00:36:13,869
you know, recognizing these things in
1014
00:36:13,870 --> 00:36:15,329
yourself.
1015
00:36:15,330 --> 00:36:16,869
And so, I don't know, that was a lot more
1016
00:36:16,870 --> 00:36:18,025
than three wasn't it Megan? [laughter]
1017
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:20,320
It's all fantastic.
1018
00:36:20,850 --> 00:36:23,039
I want to thank you both so much for joining
1019
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:24,629
us today and sharing this.
1020
00:36:24,630 --> 00:36:27,029
Zinzi, you are incredible.
1021
00:36:27,030 --> 00:36:28,679
You're an incredible young woman.
1022
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:31,289
You've helped me see things
1023
00:36:31,290 --> 00:36:33,389
about my own life, my own journey.
1024
00:36:33,390 --> 00:36:35,189
Even very recently, even in this
1025
00:36:35,190 --> 00:36:37,469
conversation, these little things have
1026
00:36:37,470 --> 00:36:39,539
been popping up and I start to understand
1027
00:36:39,540 --> 00:36:42,029
myself so much better all because
1028
00:36:42,030 --> 00:36:44,369
of you and your bravery in sharing
1029
00:36:44,370 --> 00:36:47,279
this and taking on the hard work.
1030
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:49,709
You truly have many superpowers.
1031
00:36:49,710 --> 00:36:51,809
It's been a real privilege to watch you grow
1032
00:36:51,810 --> 00:36:54,149
up, albeit a little bit far away, since
1033
00:36:54,150 --> 00:36:56,489
we all kind of moved from Toronto,
1034
00:36:56,490 --> 00:36:58,799
but it's been really cool to see your
1035
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:01,229
journey. And you and your mom,
1036
00:37:01,230 --> 00:37:03,239
your family, you guys are doing such an
1037
00:37:03,240 --> 00:37:05,639
incredible job, and I know that you are just
1038
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:07,619
going to fill the world with all of your
1039
00:37:07,620 --> 00:37:10,199
superpowers in the most beautiful ways.
1040
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:12,419
So thank you both so much for being here
1041
00:37:12,420 --> 00:37:14,039
today. Nadia, you know I love you.
1042
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:15,040
She's my sister [laughs]
1043
00:37:16,890 --> 00:37:19,109
and I'm going to drag her back more often
1044
00:37:19,110 --> 00:37:21,659
now. But, Nadia, the podcast
1045
00:37:21,660 --> 00:37:23,039
- Forbidden. Check it out.
1046
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:25,829
Dr. Nadia's website d o c
1047
00:37:25,830 --> 00:37:28,169
t o r nadia.com.
1048
00:37:28,170 --> 00:37:29,489
You'll find all the links.
1049
00:37:29,490 --> 00:37:32,159
She has an incredible social media, too.
1050
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:34,139
So make sure you're following Nadia on
1051
00:37:34,140 --> 00:37:36,359
Facebook and Instagram as well.
1052
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:38,759
You'll be able to see all of their antics,
1053
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:41,249
what they're up to [laughs], and
1054
00:37:41,250 --> 00:37:42,839
we look forward to having you back on the
1055
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:44,579
podcast. Thanks, ladies.
1056
00:37:44,580 --> 00:37:45,419
Thank you.
1057
00:37:45,420 --> 00:37:46,979
Thank you, Megan. We really, really owe you
1058
00:37:46,980 --> 00:37:49,739
for this. We really wanted a chance to
1059
00:37:49,740 --> 00:37:51,209
let the Community know that this is what
1060
00:37:51,210 --> 00:37:53,219
we've been doing. You know, I sort of left
1061
00:37:53,220 --> 00:37:55,679
things so abruptly in July, and it's
1062
00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:57,689
such a great opportunity to come back and
1063
00:37:57,690 --> 00:37:59,189
just tell everybody how we're doing.
1064
00:37:59,190 --> 00:38:02,399
Thank you. And, yes, I suspect
1065
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:04,949
you're going to be seeing a lot more from me
1066
00:38:04,950 --> 00:38:06,359
[laughter] sooner rather than later.
1067
00:38:07,650 --> 00:38:08,849
We love you both.
1068
00:38:08,850 --> 00:38:09,929
Thank you again.
1069
00:38:09,930 --> 00:38:10,829
Thank you.
1070
00:38:10,830 --> 00:38:11,699
Bye.
1071
00:38:11,700 --> 00:38:12,700
Bye, everybody.