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⚠️ Trigger warning: this episode discusses drug use, lies & betrayal in relationships. If this is a sensitive topic for you, please take care of yourself first.
A first for The Breakup Debrief & a deeply personal one.
This week Kelly is talking about something that shaped a huge part of her own relationships & marriage, and something that has come up recently with a client- drug use, lying & the very specific kind of betrayal that comes when a partner hides a habit they know you don't want in your relationship.
No judgment here for anyone who uses drugs. This episode is not about that. This is about the lying. The hiding. The gaslighting. And the way being made to feel like the controlling one can make you question your own completely reasonable boundaries.
You'll hear:
✨ Kelly's own experience with drug use & lying in her ten-year relationship &marriage- and how it became less about the weed & more about the betrayal
✨ How an entire friend group was recruited to keep a secret & how the situation was framed to make Kelly look controlling rather than lied to
✨ The moment that changed everything & led to couples counselling before the wedding
✨ Why "I didn't tell you because I didn't want to upset you" is not protection, it's manipulation
✨ How hiding something until feelings are involved & it's harder to leave is also a form of manipulation- even when it's not conscious
✨ Why your boundaries around drug use are completely valid & you don't have to justify them to anyone
✨ The difference between the drugs & the lying and why you're entitled to treat them as two completely separate issues
✨ The murder analogy that will make complete sense when you hear it 😂
✨ Why if your partner doesn't want to be in a relationship with someone who does drugs, that is their decision to make- full stop
Your values don't have to match exactly. But they do need to align. And you never have to change yours just because someone else thinks you should 💚
Links & Resources
📧 Share your story for the "Where Is She Now?" segment: info@kellyskoaching.com
📲 Follow Kelly on Instagram & TikTok: @kellyskoaching
🔗 Explore all links & resources: Linktree
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