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In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Darlene Lekowski, an Amazon bestselling author, motivational speaker, and business leader who transformed decades of silence into a powerful platform for truth, healing, and advocacy. Darlene shares how she endured sibling sexual trauma and abuse from two brothers between the ages of 7 and 12, carrying the experience in silence for 50 years due to shame and threats.
After finding her voice and revealing the truth in 2021, Darlene faced a civil lawsuit brought against her by one of her brothers and ultimately prevailed in the case in 2024. She shares how therapy, writing, and speaking helped her navigate her healing journey and reclaim her voice. Her memoir, Shattering Silence: A Story of Survival, Justice and the Power of Telling the Truth, became an Amazon Best Seller and #1 New Release in multiple categories and is available in print, ebook, and audiobook narrated in her own voice.
Today, Darlene speaks to corporate, leadership, and survivor audiences, encouraging others to let go of the silence, reclaim their voice, and Live Forward with courage, resilience, and agency.
Key Topics & Timestamps
Podcast Introduction (00:00:39) Host Laura introduces the podcast's mission to break the silence around women's stories and promote healing through sharing.
Content Warning (00:01:28) A brief warning is given to listeners about potentially triggering subjects discussed in the episode.
Introducing Darlene Markowski (00:01:37) The host introduces guest Darlene Markowski, an author and speaker who survived sibling sexual trauma and abuse.
Why Darlene Broke Her Silence (00:03:27) Darlene explains why she kept her abuse a secret for 50 years, citing shame and threats from her brothers.
The Impact of Trauma (00:06:06) Darlene discusses living with undiagnosed C-PTSD and how trauma manifested throughout her life, leading to control and perfectionism.
Survival Strategies as a Child (00:09:06) Darlene shares the strategies she developed as a child to survive, such as becoming a tomboy and being athletic.
The Catalyst for Speaking Out (00:15:25) After her mother's death, a text argument with her brother Don led to Darlene finally revealing the abuse.
First Disclosures of Abuse (00:18:45) Darlene recounts the first times she told anyone about the abuse, including her boyfriend at 17 and friends.
The Prevalence of Sibling Sexual Abuse (00:24:51) Darlene highlights how common sibling sexual abuse is, emphasizing the need for parents to talk to their children.
Telling Her Children (00:27:43) Darlene shares her fear of telling her children about the abuse and their surprisingly understanding and supportive reaction.
Confronting Her Brothers (00:30:47) Darlene describes confronting both of her abusive brothers, one of whom initially confessed before recanting his statement.
The Defamation Lawsuit (00:33:24) Her brother Don sues Darlene for defamation after she reveals the abuse, leading to a two-and-a-half-year legal battle.
The Trial and Verdict (00:36:58) Darlene recounts the six-day trial where a jury unanimously found her truthful, winning both her case and countersuit.
The Healing Journey (00:38:10) Darlene realizes the legal victory didn't heal her, prompting her to write her book and focus on releasing her anger.
Finding the Right Support (00:41:40) The importance of finding trauma-informed therapy, joining survivor groups, and exploring various healing modalities is discussed.
Darlene's Advocacy Work (00:47:36) Darlene talks about her public speaking, where she shares her story with survivors, corporate leaders, and university students.
Where to Find Darlene (00:50:25) Darlene shares her website, DarleneSpeaksUp.com, and social media handles for listeners who want to connect with her.
Powerful Quotes from the Episode
Darlene, "I had two brothers who sexually abused me from the ages of 7 to 12. I hid it, kept it in a box for 50 years."
Darlene, "I had kept it in a box. I thought I was good, but the box always leaks. Trauma always finds you."
Darlene, "I was so ashamed because I froze. I didn't understand that freezing is a solid, research-founded trauma response. I blamed myself."
Darlene, "In less than an hour, a unanimous jury of 12 decided I was telling the truth, he was lying, and I won both cases."
Darlene, "Don't give up on yourself. Focus on you. So many of us focus on what happened to us or the person that did this to us."
RESOURCES:
FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/
COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura
MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/book-store
JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517
FOLLOW DARLENE:WEBSITE: https://www.darlenespeaksup.com/
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/darlenelekowski/
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/people/Darlene-Lekowski/61575781889793/
LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darlene-lekowski-0ba1962/
BOOK: "Shattering Silence" Amazon Link: https://a.co/d/0eNNvFjC
"Your truth can become the voice that helps others heal."
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