Courageous Authenticity with John Geraghty

WEBVTT
1
00:00:00.720 --> 00:00:02.960
I thank you very much for tuning into that Well
2
00:00:03.000 --> 00:00:08.080
Neverwork podcast. So today, my guests spent years wrestling with
3
00:00:08.119 --> 00:00:11.880
alcoholism and the struggling weight of stories he was telling
4
00:00:11.960 --> 00:00:15.080
himself about who he was and what he deserved. And
5
00:00:15.199 --> 00:00:17.839
on the other side of that battle, he didn't just recover,
6
00:00:18.559 --> 00:00:24.199
he built one of the most respected executive coaching practices
7
00:00:24.239 --> 00:00:28.120
in the country, conducting over thirty thousand strategic coaching sessions
8
00:00:28.120 --> 00:00:31.280
across twenty years with high achieving business leaders who were
9
00:00:31.320 --> 00:00:36.960
winning on the outside but quietly suffocating on the inside.
10
00:00:37.159 --> 00:00:41.000
And so today, through his proven framework, the prism of Perspective,
11
00:00:41.520 --> 00:00:45.359
our guest John helps mature leaders do the most dangerous
12
00:00:45.359 --> 00:00:49.520
and most liberating thing available to any human being. Challenged
13
00:00:49.560 --> 00:00:53.359
the stories that built their cage and choose the ones
14
00:00:53.759 --> 00:00:57.039
that built their freedom. Let's talk about it right after.
15
00:00:56.840 --> 00:01:05.120
This educate, empowered, enable impact. Thank you for tuning in
16
00:01:05.159 --> 00:01:09.040
to That Will Never Work, an award winning podcast where
17
00:01:09.079 --> 00:01:14.519
we share inspiring information and personal experiences related to business
18
00:01:14.879 --> 00:01:18.480
and the entrepreneurial journey from those who are leaders in
19
00:01:18.519 --> 00:01:23.640
their respective field. Now here's your host, author and business
20
00:01:23.680 --> 00:01:26.319
coach Maurice.
21
00:01:26.640 --> 00:01:29.719
So, first of all, John, I want to say thank
22
00:01:29.760 --> 00:01:35.439
you very much for the compliment, you know of because
23
00:01:35.439 --> 00:01:37.840
I did again, I did my homework, so so I
24
00:01:37.879 --> 00:01:40.799
did what I needed to do. And you know, but
25
00:01:40.840 --> 00:01:44.040
I want to make sure that people understand who's coming
26
00:01:44.079 --> 00:01:48.239
to us and talking to the audience and understanding that, hey,
27
00:01:48.280 --> 00:01:51.840
even though no matter what stage of business you're in,
28
00:01:52.959 --> 00:01:55.280
don't allow what people have been saying about you to
29
00:01:55.560 --> 00:01:57.400
hinder us. So John, I think very much for coming
30
00:01:57.400 --> 00:01:59.280
on the show, and again I thank you for that
31
00:01:59.519 --> 00:02:00.400
wonderful compliment.
32
00:02:01.519 --> 00:02:02.319
Oh my pleasure.
33
00:02:02.319 --> 00:02:04.079
I'm really really happy to be here and excited to
34
00:02:04.120 --> 00:02:06.319
have a great conversation. You have wonderful energy and this
35
00:02:06.400 --> 00:02:07.359
is going to be fun, all.
36
00:02:07.319 --> 00:02:08.159
Right, thank you, thank you.
37
00:02:08.199 --> 00:02:11.400
Thinking So, So, just in case you don't know who
38
00:02:11.479 --> 00:02:19.039
John is, he is wise, he's grounded, he's courageous, transformative, authentic, deliberate, empathetic,
39
00:02:19.599 --> 00:02:25.000
perspective shifting, but also life testing. So if you want
40
00:02:25.039 --> 00:02:27.479
to know what keywords look up for this.
41
00:02:27.560 --> 00:02:31.360
Podcast, you know exactly what to look out, you know.
42
00:02:31.560 --> 00:02:33.439
So, But John, I have a question for you. So
43
00:02:34.199 --> 00:02:37.360
you sat across some of the most successful executives and
44
00:02:37.439 --> 00:02:41.199
business owners in the country, people who every external measure
45
00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:45.120
they have made it and yet you keep finding the
46
00:02:45.159 --> 00:02:48.120
same thing that's hold holding him back. What do you
47
00:02:48.159 --> 00:02:48.759
think that is?
48
00:02:50.479 --> 00:02:51.919
Well, thanks, a great question.
49
00:02:52.560 --> 00:02:56.599
What I have found with you know, successful executives, business owners, you.
50
00:02:56.560 --> 00:02:58.960
Know that tends to be the space that I work in.
51
00:03:00.439 --> 00:03:03.599
Is that from the outside, right, because I'm working with
52
00:03:03.639 --> 00:03:07.159
mature business owners, so they're not at the beginning phases.
53
00:03:07.199 --> 00:03:10.759
They're not just founding their organizations. You know, they developed
54
00:03:10.759 --> 00:03:15.080
the business and they have a lot of external success.
55
00:03:15.080 --> 00:03:17.560
And really truthfully, they have a lot of success, most
56
00:03:17.560 --> 00:03:19.879
of them in all the different areas. But what I
57
00:03:19.919 --> 00:03:23.240
find interesting is they always recognize there's a gap between
58
00:03:23.280 --> 00:03:25.199
where they are and where they really like to be,
59
00:03:26.199 --> 00:03:29.159
and so it's kind of that horizon that just keeps moving.
60
00:03:29.919 --> 00:03:32.400
And when I was younger, so I've been coaching for
61
00:03:32.439 --> 00:03:35.479
over twenty years and at the beginning of that a
62
00:03:35.479 --> 00:03:37.199
lot of the coaching, most of the coaching was really
63
00:03:37.199 --> 00:03:42.039
focused on like how am I growing this business? Now
64
00:03:42.560 --> 00:03:44.639
the people that I'm working with are really how am
65
00:03:44.639 --> 00:03:48.080
I going to have the most amazing life? And the
66
00:03:48.120 --> 00:03:51.039
business is a piece of it, right, and so they're
67
00:03:51.039 --> 00:03:53.800
looking at how do they integrate all the different roles
68
00:03:53.840 --> 00:03:59.360
that they play acknowledging that they love the work aspects
69
00:03:59.400 --> 00:04:01.400
of the work they've done, and they want to continue
70
00:04:01.439 --> 00:04:04.680
to be a contribution to the world, but they may
71
00:04:04.719 --> 00:04:09.800
have over emphasized that particular aspect of their lives and
72
00:04:10.159 --> 00:04:13.879
underappreciated or invested in some of the others, like theirs
73
00:04:13.879 --> 00:04:17.839
significant relationships, whether it be a spouse or children, in
74
00:04:17.879 --> 00:04:21.160
their community, or often with their health or just their
75
00:04:21.199 --> 00:04:25.439
own joy right right, it's almost like they were chasing
76
00:04:25.519 --> 00:04:28.040
it is like they had this idea of what was
77
00:04:28.079 --> 00:04:32.040
really going to make everything great, and it delivers part
78
00:04:32.079 --> 00:04:34.399
of that, but it doesn't really.
79
00:04:34.199 --> 00:04:35.279
Deliver all of that.
80
00:04:35.399 --> 00:04:38.519
And so what we do unpack that and think about, Okay,
81
00:04:38.519 --> 00:04:42.920
how do you reimagine your life from this incredible foundation?
82
00:04:43.160 --> 00:04:47.439
Right, you've built this foundation, how do we launch from there.
83
00:04:47.759 --> 00:04:50.839
So that these latter decades are the best that you've
84
00:04:50.879 --> 00:04:55.839
ever had using your gifts, right, your zones of genius,
85
00:04:55.879 --> 00:04:58.279
staying in that zone in your work, so you're really
86
00:04:59.079 --> 00:05:02.279
making a great countryribution that the investment of time and
87
00:05:02.439 --> 00:05:04.720
energy and effort is optimized.
88
00:05:04.160 --> 00:05:05.720
Right when you're your zone a genius.
89
00:05:06.160 --> 00:05:08.160
But that gives you an opportunity to step back and
90
00:05:08.240 --> 00:05:10.519
think about where else do I really want to thrive.
91
00:05:11.439 --> 00:05:13.839
And so I'm sixty three and I'm in the same
92
00:05:13.879 --> 00:05:16.399
situation they are. Right, you look at it and go, Okay,
93
00:05:16.399 --> 00:05:19.000
when I thought i'd you know, want to retire, you
94
00:05:19.000 --> 00:05:19.800
know the whole story.
95
00:05:19.800 --> 00:05:21.680
When you're young, you're like, oh, how soon are you
96
00:05:21.720 --> 00:05:22.560
going to be able to retire?
97
00:05:23.079 --> 00:05:26.600
Well, most of almost everybody I work with has gotten
98
00:05:26.600 --> 00:05:28.839
to the point where they could choose to do that economically,
99
00:05:29.720 --> 00:05:32.720
but they don't want to, right, That's that's not the
100
00:05:32.800 --> 00:05:33.879
really fulfilling life.
101
00:05:33.879 --> 00:05:34.040
Now.
102
00:05:34.040 --> 00:05:36.439
Some people choose to step out of the game and
103
00:05:36.519 --> 00:05:39.639
just go do full leisure. But when you look at
104
00:05:39.680 --> 00:05:44.480
who's really thriving in their later decades, it's people that
105
00:05:44.639 --> 00:05:46.399
stay connected to purpose.
106
00:05:47.759 --> 00:05:49.600
And so that's a lot of what we do.
107
00:05:49.639 --> 00:05:53.800
Say, Okay, what's your what really matters to you from
108
00:05:53.839 --> 00:05:56.800
this moment forward? How do you want to impact the world,
109
00:05:56.879 --> 00:05:58.720
And what's going to be the most fun for you
110
00:05:58.800 --> 00:06:00.879
so you can make the greatest contribution.
111
00:06:01.480 --> 00:06:02.839
And that's a lot of the work we do. So
112
00:06:02.879 --> 00:06:03.279
it's fun.
113
00:06:03.360 --> 00:06:05.839
It's a lot of fun, right, And you would ask
114
00:06:05.879 --> 00:06:07.959
a question about, you know, the story that we tell
115
00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:12.160
ourselves societally. If you think about the story we tell
116
00:06:12.199 --> 00:06:17.240
ourselves about this these later decades. It is either that
117
00:06:18.560 --> 00:06:20.639
it's one that you know, you want to get to
118
00:06:20.680 --> 00:06:24.120
the point where you can cash in your chips, and
119
00:06:24.160 --> 00:06:26.120
then you know, I live in South Florida, so it's
120
00:06:26.120 --> 00:06:29.439
like cashing your chips and go boating and golfing, right.
121
00:06:29.680 --> 00:06:32.399
And then the other one is that somehow or another
122
00:06:32.439 --> 00:06:37.120
we're supposed to be declining. And so a lot of
123
00:06:37.279 --> 00:06:42.079
people's expectations of themselves as far as their physical capabilities,
124
00:06:42.560 --> 00:06:46.360
their cognitive capabilities, their ability to build great new relationships.
125
00:06:47.160 --> 00:06:49.800
Is the story that we tell as a society is
126
00:06:49.879 --> 00:06:53.360
all of those things are diminishing, and they do eventually
127
00:06:53.399 --> 00:06:57.240
diminish it, but they don't diminish for a long time.
128
00:06:57.040 --> 00:06:58.360
If we do this well.
129
00:06:59.560 --> 00:07:03.439
One of the principles that I believe in is compounding
130
00:07:03.519 --> 00:07:04.439
incremental growth.
131
00:07:05.279 --> 00:07:07.199
And I'm a big exercise person.
132
00:07:07.439 --> 00:07:10.079
I created a form of exercise I call fitness Presence,
133
00:07:10.079 --> 00:07:13.439
which is kind of a combination of like yoga, chigong,
134
00:07:13.800 --> 00:07:18.000
contemporary dance, and isokinetic strength training. And what it really
135
00:07:18.079 --> 00:07:21.759
is is it's reverse engineered exercise in that it looks
136
00:07:21.800 --> 00:07:23.519
at like what do you want to get better at?
137
00:07:23.959 --> 00:07:24.360
Strength?
138
00:07:24.399 --> 00:07:29.000
Flexibility, balance, coordination, body awareness, resistance to injury, like all
139
00:07:29.040 --> 00:07:31.399
of those different elements, and then you think about, Okay,
140
00:07:31.399 --> 00:07:34.319
how do I work on the edges of that so
141
00:07:34.360 --> 00:07:38.079
that I continually challenge my body to get better. And
142
00:07:38.120 --> 00:07:40.839
I just think exercise is a great metaphor for life.
143
00:07:41.959 --> 00:07:42.160
Right.
144
00:07:42.199 --> 00:07:44.480
We have the idea of like, okay, I know the gym,
145
00:07:44.600 --> 00:07:45.920
you know I'm doing this. I want to get a
146
00:07:45.959 --> 00:07:47.759
little bit better. I'm going to do a little this,
147
00:07:47.839 --> 00:07:51.439
a little challenge myself in a different way. But it's
148
00:07:51.519 --> 00:07:53.480
most effective when it's really incremental.
149
00:07:53.560 --> 00:07:53.759
Right.
150
00:07:53.800 --> 00:07:56.680
You don't go from you know, I'm doing two twenty five,
151
00:07:56.720 --> 00:07:58.319
Why don't you throw three fifteen on there?
152
00:07:58.399 --> 00:08:00.399
Right right, right right?
153
00:08:00.439 --> 00:08:02.639
You kind of incrementally work your way to the next place.
154
00:08:03.439 --> 00:08:05.000
The same thing is true with life. And if we
155
00:08:05.079 --> 00:08:08.040
do it that way, we get an opportunity to be
156
00:08:08.360 --> 00:08:12.160
in flow, right, We get an opportunity to find that
157
00:08:12.959 --> 00:08:17.600
perfect challenge, skills balance that is joyful.
158
00:08:18.000 --> 00:08:18.160
Right.
159
00:08:18.199 --> 00:08:20.839
It's really a state that feels great, but it's also
160
00:08:20.839 --> 00:08:23.480
what allows us to continue to compound. So if we
161
00:08:23.519 --> 00:08:26.959
take that mindset into our later generations, instead of thinking
162
00:08:26.959 --> 00:08:32.960
about like I'm declining, it's really no, I'm getting better
163
00:08:33.000 --> 00:08:35.519
every day if somebody getting better.
164
00:08:35.840 --> 00:08:38.399
I have a question though, because you know what you're
165
00:08:39.080 --> 00:08:42.679
you're talking about, Like I'm listening to you, and you
166
00:08:42.720 --> 00:08:46.559
would think that people that as you're saying, you're sixty three,
167
00:08:46.600 --> 00:08:49.600
I'm fifty, you know, and so you here, I'm just
168
00:08:49.600 --> 00:08:51.799
gonna go back a little bit. Hey, you know the
169
00:08:52.279 --> 00:08:55.039
idea of do as I saying, not as I do.
170
00:08:55.559 --> 00:08:58.200
You know I know better than you. I've lived life
171
00:08:58.720 --> 00:09:02.200
and so you you know, sometimes people throw that word
172
00:09:02.279 --> 00:09:07.799
mature out there, right, so and so, how especially if
173
00:09:07.799 --> 00:09:13.639
we're in that place of uncertainty right at this certain age,
174
00:09:14.120 --> 00:09:16.799
what is the real definition of maturity? Then what is
175
00:09:16.840 --> 00:09:19.159
the definition of mature? What is your definition of mature?
176
00:09:19.639 --> 00:09:22.759
Because you would think that someone does mature may not
177
00:09:22.879 --> 00:09:25.080
have these deficiencies, right.
178
00:09:26.759 --> 00:09:29.200
Great point if they're mature in every aspect. Right.
179
00:09:29.600 --> 00:09:31.960
So when I use the term mature, I really am
180
00:09:32.039 --> 00:09:37.200
referencing that you've got some significant life experience, right you.
181
00:09:36.600 --> 00:09:37.159
You know you're not.
182
00:09:39.039 --> 00:09:41.159
While I think I can add value to a thirty
183
00:09:41.200 --> 00:09:45.360
year old man, it's not the same value that I
184
00:09:45.399 --> 00:09:49.600
can add to a fifty five year old gentleman who's
185
00:09:49.639 --> 00:09:54.039
starting to or female. Right, it's looking at their lives
186
00:09:54.120 --> 00:10:00.960
and they hadn't really envisioned from fifty five to eighty five, right,
187
00:10:01.039 --> 00:10:05.000
they envisioned twenty five to fifty five or whatever it was, right,
188
00:10:05.039 --> 00:10:06.960
And then so they're like, you know, I raised my kids,
189
00:10:07.000 --> 00:10:10.399
I built my business, but we have If you're healthy
190
00:10:10.440 --> 00:10:13.360
at sixty three, your life expectancy is like in the
191
00:10:13.399 --> 00:10:18.000
mid nineties, So you get thirty years left, three decades,
192
00:10:19.000 --> 00:10:21.000
how are you going to use them? And if you
193
00:10:21.279 --> 00:10:23.799
and if you think about it, like go back in college, right,
194
00:10:23.879 --> 00:10:25.840
and you think about in college and like I was
195
00:10:26.639 --> 00:10:29.679
I worked in the fitness industry when I was in
196
00:10:29.679 --> 00:10:32.600
college or so I was more.
197
00:10:32.440 --> 00:10:33.360
Fit than most people.
198
00:10:33.440 --> 00:10:36.600
But at twenty two, most people are fed, right, Like
199
00:10:37.120 --> 00:10:39.320
run around college campus. Most guys are like, you know,
200
00:10:39.399 --> 00:10:43.080
you're pretty everybody's staying pretty fit. But what happens is
201
00:10:43.080 --> 00:10:45.279
as we start to age, there begins to be a
202
00:10:45.360 --> 00:10:51.679
gap between what's possible and the way you experience life.
203
00:10:52.360 --> 00:10:55.600
The unit the body that you bring with you changes
204
00:10:55.840 --> 00:11:00.679
radically if you do not continue to challenge it. And
205
00:11:00.759 --> 00:11:04.919
so you know, when I say mature, I mean they've
206
00:11:05.000 --> 00:11:08.759
been through. They've probably raised their kids, they built their
207
00:11:08.799 --> 00:11:14.960
businesses and things like that. And they're wise enough to
208
00:11:15.039 --> 00:11:19.759
know that there's a lot they still don't know, right.
209
00:11:19.799 --> 00:11:21.480
I mean, you know, they're all saying, the more you know,
210
00:11:21.519 --> 00:11:25.840
the more you know, don't know, right, And I think
211
00:11:25.879 --> 00:11:28.200
that they are at that many of these people are like, hey,
212
00:11:28.480 --> 00:11:32.039
I have not I've been expert over here, but I
213
00:11:32.120 --> 00:11:36.279
haven't necessarily been expert over here. And so they're open
214
00:11:36.360 --> 00:11:40.360
to the idea that there's new ways of engaging the
215
00:11:40.360 --> 00:11:44.159
world they're going to provide for them more of the
216
00:11:44.440 --> 00:11:50.159
joyful generation decades ahead. And so that's a lot of
217
00:11:50.159 --> 00:11:52.399
the work that we do really helping people. We talked
218
00:11:52.399 --> 00:11:56.600
about story, like what is the story you have when
219
00:11:56.639 --> 00:11:58.080
you write into the future?
220
00:11:58.799 --> 00:11:58.960
You know.
221
00:11:59.000 --> 00:12:00.840
I was talking to a gentleman who sixty the other
222
00:12:00.919 --> 00:12:04.759
day and he did not have when I asked him,
223
00:12:04.799 --> 00:12:09.679
just like, so, describe your world to me when you're seventy,
224
00:12:09.720 --> 00:12:11.320
and he was kind of and I said, just pretend
225
00:12:11.360 --> 00:12:15.240
you're an author and you're I want to be I
226
00:12:15.240 --> 00:12:18.360
want to feel like I'm in the story of you
227
00:12:18.440 --> 00:12:21.679
at seventy, And he hadn't really thought about it at all,
228
00:12:21.840 --> 00:12:25.360
so it was something he can work on, but not
229
00:12:25.440 --> 00:12:30.440
something he has worked on. So in those situations like
230
00:12:30.919 --> 00:12:34.200
how do you really get how do you make decisions
231
00:12:34.919 --> 00:12:37.759
about how to get this ideal space if you don't
232
00:12:37.759 --> 00:12:39.919
even know where it is, if you're not even thinking
233
00:12:39.960 --> 00:12:43.000
about it, right, right, right, And so the behaviors that
234
00:12:43.039 --> 00:12:46.000
you have along the way that are ultimately going to
235
00:12:46.120 --> 00:12:50.720
lead to this desired outcome, which is always moving, right,
236
00:12:50.799 --> 00:12:53.759
We're always you know, there's there is no finished destination.
237
00:12:54.399 --> 00:12:57.679
It's just like purpose is a direction, it's not a spot.
238
00:12:58.759 --> 00:13:01.480
And so what I think from myself and the clients
239
00:13:01.480 --> 00:13:03.159
I work with, I like to help them think about it,
240
00:13:03.240 --> 00:13:05.240
you know, like, what is your purpose as far as
241
00:13:05.240 --> 00:13:08.480
your professional contribution to the world, or you know, or
242
00:13:08.519 --> 00:13:11.360
your community contribution. What's your purpose as it relates to
243
00:13:11.399 --> 00:13:13.720
your family and friends? And you know, what's your purpose
244
00:13:13.759 --> 00:13:16.320
as it relates to your own growth? And like why
245
00:13:16.399 --> 00:13:20.080
does that matter to you? Because purpose gives energy, right
246
00:13:20.080 --> 00:13:22.759
if you're connected to like why you're doing what you're doing,
247
00:13:23.399 --> 00:13:29.320
that's inspiring. But again, often the purpose we get into
248
00:13:29.399 --> 00:13:33.320
our society is so materialistic and commercial and everything's about
249
00:13:33.879 --> 00:13:36.559
building that business, which is important, right, you have to
250
00:13:36.559 --> 00:13:38.240
have the resources to do the things you want to do,
251
00:13:39.039 --> 00:13:42.799
but it's not going to deliver the whole package. And
252
00:13:42.840 --> 00:13:45.799
so what I love to do, which is a great
253
00:13:45.799 --> 00:13:47.679
interest to me, is really looking at all of it.
254
00:13:48.440 --> 00:13:50.600
So that's that's where we spend our spend time.
255
00:13:50.639 --> 00:13:53.240
So you know, and I brought up that we're mature
256
00:13:53.600 --> 00:13:57.440
because at times we don't.
257
00:13:57.559 --> 00:13:58.879
We look at it negatively.
258
00:13:59.559 --> 00:14:02.679
It can be that negatively, right, And there's something that
259
00:14:02.720 --> 00:14:05.480
I that what was the first word I described you
260
00:14:05.559 --> 00:14:08.759
as as wise? Right, you know, because that sometimes even
261
00:14:08.799 --> 00:14:10.840
though we might have age, some of us are not
262
00:14:10.960 --> 00:14:15.360
wise enough. We're not on point enough to understand, hey,
263
00:14:15.399 --> 00:14:17.960
you know what, you know, this is my journey, this
264
00:14:18.080 --> 00:14:21.480
is my destination, this is my desired outcome, not understanding
265
00:14:21.480 --> 00:14:24.039
that there is another level to that right there. You
266
00:14:24.080 --> 00:14:28.159
can always go above or beyond it. We just limit
267
00:14:28.240 --> 00:14:32.120
ourselves because of the box, scarcely mentality, all those type
268
00:14:32.159 --> 00:14:34.080
of things. And so I brought that up, that word
269
00:14:34.159 --> 00:14:38.399
up because sometimes we can misconscrew the meaning of that
270
00:14:38.679 --> 00:14:41.279
because because again some people put, you know, put it
271
00:14:41.279 --> 00:14:43.960
as if well, I am mature enough, I'm the old
272
00:14:44.039 --> 00:14:46.960
head in this situation, right, you know, so I have
273
00:14:47.080 --> 00:14:50.080
all the experience, but not understanding like, hey, we could
274
00:14:50.120 --> 00:14:53.440
all still grow, you know it doesn't matter what age
275
00:14:53.440 --> 00:14:55.320
you are. I could learn from you just like you
276
00:14:55.360 --> 00:14:57.200
could learn from me. And so I just want to
277
00:14:57.200 --> 00:15:01.799
make sure that we understood just for this community. Yeah,
278
00:15:01.879 --> 00:15:03.840
you give what I mean that it doesn't have to
279
00:15:03.840 --> 00:15:06.679
be such a negative mentality towards it.
280
00:15:07.360 --> 00:15:09.399
Not at all. I mean, I'm having more fun today than.
281
00:15:09.360 --> 00:15:13.080
I've ever had my life, and I'm more excited about
282
00:15:13.080 --> 00:15:15.080
the future than I've ever been in my life.
283
00:15:15.559 --> 00:15:18.559
And I think that that's that mature.
284
00:15:18.559 --> 00:15:22.879
I don't mean, I don't mean to imply that you're done, right,
285
00:15:25.120 --> 00:15:29.120
you know, we are. I was listening to I think
286
00:15:29.159 --> 00:15:33.159
it's called be your future self Now. And one of
287
00:15:33.159 --> 00:15:35.159
the things they talk about is when you ask people
288
00:15:35.320 --> 00:15:37.480
like like, go over the past ten years, how have
289
00:15:37.600 --> 00:15:40.399
you evolved and changed over the past ten years. You're like, oh,
290
00:15:40.440 --> 00:15:42.519
I've changed this way and that way, this way, that way,
291
00:15:42.840 --> 00:15:44.360
And you go, how do you think you'll change in
292
00:15:44.399 --> 00:15:45.200
the next ten years?
293
00:15:45.200 --> 00:15:47.960
Oh no, I'll probably be the same, right, Like you're done,
294
00:15:48.519 --> 00:15:49.559
Like I'm fully baked.
295
00:15:50.399 --> 00:15:53.080
Let's say again, that's another story that we tell ourselves. Right,
296
00:15:53.320 --> 00:15:55.080
do we get to a certain point all of a
297
00:15:55.120 --> 00:15:56.480
sudden life stops?
298
00:15:56.720 --> 00:15:57.519
Well, why should it?
299
00:15:58.559 --> 00:16:02.279
Yeah, another thing like people say, you know, they'll they'll
300
00:16:02.559 --> 00:16:06.360
reference character traits that really don't serve them or behaviors
301
00:16:06.360 --> 00:16:09.000
that don't really serve them, and they'll own them as
302
00:16:09.080 --> 00:16:14.360
themselves rather than a behavior. You know, I am this like, well,
303
00:16:14.399 --> 00:16:16.799
I'm just you know, this is how I'm Like. I
304
00:16:16.799 --> 00:16:19.720
always say like, okay, do you want to die that way?
305
00:16:20.240 --> 00:16:20.360
Right?
306
00:16:21.000 --> 00:16:23.840
Do you want to die with that being true about you?
307
00:16:24.679 --> 00:16:26.759
Or are you open to the possibility that you can
308
00:16:26.840 --> 00:16:31.120
let go of that right and kind of shocks them like, oh,
309
00:16:31.279 --> 00:16:33.600
you know, it's not really like I have blue eyes.
310
00:16:33.639 --> 00:16:36.200
I'm always gonna have blue eyes. But you know, the
311
00:16:36.279 --> 00:16:39.120
idea that maybe I am don't have is enough patience
312
00:16:39.240 --> 00:16:41.480
or I'm not disciplined, or I'm not focused or as
313
00:16:41.519 --> 00:16:44.519
compassionate or loving or whatever it is. Right, I'm not
314
00:16:44.559 --> 00:16:47.240
going to claim any of those things that go I
315
00:16:47.279 --> 00:16:51.519
am just X because like you said, it's we just
316
00:16:51.600 --> 00:16:55.519
continue to grow and evolve. If you think about the
317
00:16:55.559 --> 00:16:58.919
way the universe evolves and expands, right, we are part
318
00:16:58.960 --> 00:17:01.399
of the universe, right, right, we are part of we
319
00:17:01.480 --> 00:17:04.599
are we are nature. And if you look at the
320
00:17:04.680 --> 00:17:08.079
universe and see how the universe continues to evolve and
321
00:17:08.200 --> 00:17:12.480
respond to what's there and grow.
322
00:17:12.759 --> 00:17:14.599
Then so are we right?
323
00:17:14.960 --> 00:17:17.599
But we put this story on ourselves, like, oh no,
324
00:17:17.720 --> 00:17:21.240
I am this. I have defined who I am. I've
325
00:17:21.240 --> 00:17:25.240
defined my capabilities and my lax and I'm going to
326
00:17:25.319 --> 00:17:27.880
own them, you know, And I'm going to often put
327
00:17:27.880 --> 00:17:32.920
that limiting belief as a barrier between myself and where
328
00:17:32.960 --> 00:17:34.799
I theoretically would like to go.
329
00:17:35.319 --> 00:17:36.359
I'd like to go over here.
330
00:17:36.400 --> 00:17:38.119
But wait, wait, let me tell you about my limiting
331
00:17:38.160 --> 00:17:42.640
beliefs about why I can't really get there, and and
332
00:17:42.839 --> 00:17:46.279
all of those things are just stories. So that's what.
333
00:17:48.839 --> 00:17:49.400
I was just gonna say.
334
00:17:49.440 --> 00:17:51.640
It's not that I'm not implying that we have equal
335
00:17:51.680 --> 00:17:54.880
strengths across everything, right, we all have our zones of genius.
336
00:17:55.480 --> 00:17:57.599
But we make up stories.
337
00:17:57.559 --> 00:17:59.839
About you know, I can't do this, or this is
338
00:17:59.839 --> 00:18:02.759
a limitation or this is fixed, and you.
339
00:18:02.880 --> 00:18:05.279
Like, really, what's actually.
340
00:18:07.640 --> 00:18:09.200
The other thing that I find interest? When I was
341
00:18:09.200 --> 00:18:11.640
growing up, you talked about my alcoholism. So I drank
342
00:18:11.640 --> 00:18:13.599
till I was twenty nine, and during that period of
343
00:18:13.599 --> 00:18:16.799
time I had a very fixed mindset, like in the
344
00:18:16.920 --> 00:18:19.359
Carol Dweckian kind of way, you know, the idea that
345
00:18:19.720 --> 00:18:22.839
you have what you have and that's your limitation. When
346
00:18:22.839 --> 00:18:27.000
I got sober, I got sober really through personal development.
347
00:18:29.039 --> 00:18:32.000
You know, I had struggled to be able to get
348
00:18:32.000 --> 00:18:32.799
to get that together.
349
00:18:32.839 --> 00:18:37.519
And then some of Anthony robbins work had Personal Power.
350
00:18:37.279 --> 00:18:39.119
Came out right at that time, you know, and so
351
00:18:39.160 --> 00:18:40.119
I was diving into that.
352
00:18:42.400 --> 00:18:44.559
But the story I had up.
353
00:18:44.519 --> 00:18:47.240
Until then was really that I even thought I was
354
00:18:47.279 --> 00:18:50.200
fairly talented, but I thought that it wasn't something that
355
00:18:50.240 --> 00:18:54.039
would continue to expand. And so I so people that
356
00:18:54.119 --> 00:18:57.440
have a fixed mindset tend to not really want to
357
00:18:57.440 --> 00:19:00.680
push the boundaries because if they're pushing their capabilit instead
358
00:19:00.680 --> 00:19:02.640
of thinking they're going to continue to expand, they are
359
00:19:02.759 --> 00:19:06.240
pushing on their boundaries, is going to define their limitations.
360
00:19:06.680 --> 00:19:09.319
And so that's a lot of what limited me.
361
00:19:09.720 --> 00:19:12.440
And as I got into personal development, which I used
362
00:19:12.480 --> 00:19:17.519
as my tool for gaining sobriety, I began to see
363
00:19:17.559 --> 00:19:21.319
that there really wasn't I had told myself so many
364
00:19:21.359 --> 00:19:25.440
stories about this limitation or that limitation as if it
365
00:19:25.519 --> 00:19:29.319
was real and I but then you get into it
366
00:19:29.319 --> 00:19:30.960
and you're like, Okay, I.
367
00:19:30.920 --> 00:19:33.359
Can actually get better at everything.
368
00:19:33.559 --> 00:19:36.759
Nothing is fixed, right, some things are going to get
369
00:19:36.759 --> 00:19:39.240
better at easily. Some things is going to be more slowly,
370
00:19:40.480 --> 00:19:43.240
but we can continue to grow and develop at everything.
371
00:19:43.279 --> 00:19:45.759
And so the fun thing is, why would you stop?
372
00:19:46.480 --> 00:19:49.119
Why would you like, oh yeah, I'm sixty, I'm done,
373
00:19:50.519 --> 00:19:54.160
Because the most exciting thing is growing. Right, If you
374
00:19:54.200 --> 00:19:56.559
look at yourself, whatever it was, you know, you want
375
00:19:56.559 --> 00:19:58.440
a champion. You did this, you did that the other
376
00:19:58.599 --> 00:20:01.160
Like what was it? I grew I took on a
377
00:20:01.160 --> 00:20:03.559
big challenge and I grew into it and I was
378
00:20:03.599 --> 00:20:05.599
able to like look at it and go wow, I
379
00:20:05.640 --> 00:20:05.920
didn't know.
380
00:20:05.920 --> 00:20:07.400
It's capable of that. Right.
381
00:20:08.000 --> 00:20:10.079
But see here's the thing though, I mean, so now
382
00:20:10.119 --> 00:20:12.079
we're going to relate it to the business arena. Right,
383
00:20:12.200 --> 00:20:16.319
So again tambail being mature TM about growing all those
384
00:20:16.319 --> 00:20:18.720
type of things. But so if I have my business
385
00:20:18.720 --> 00:20:22.720
for the last fifteen twenty years and here's all these
386
00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:26.880
new products coming out, I'm fearful of AI. I'm fearful
387
00:20:26.920 --> 00:20:31.519
of any type of automation or how another company has implemented,
388
00:20:31.799 --> 00:20:35.200
how they're bringing in their products or vendor you know,
389
00:20:35.640 --> 00:20:38.599
or client acquisitions all these other type of things. You know.
390
00:20:39.559 --> 00:20:43.119
So I have matured my company right, and I feel
391
00:20:43.119 --> 00:20:46.799
like my processes have been working all this time, why
392
00:20:46.799 --> 00:20:49.720
should I continue to grow if it's been working, whether
393
00:20:49.759 --> 00:20:51.720
it's been personal or business. But I'm relating it more
394
00:20:51.720 --> 00:20:53.039
to business right now though.
395
00:20:54.359 --> 00:20:57.960
Well, you don't want to throw out everything just because
396
00:20:58.039 --> 00:21:01.920
there's new things out there. You also don't, in my belief,
397
00:21:02.720 --> 00:21:06.319
want to get attached to This worked in the past,
398
00:21:06.720 --> 00:21:08.720
therefore it's going to work in the future, right. I
399
00:21:08.720 --> 00:21:10.799
mean if you look at like the story of Kodak,
400
00:21:11.359 --> 00:21:16.799
So Kodak actually developed the digital camera. They Kodak was
401
00:21:16.880 --> 00:21:19.640
the place the digital camera came from, but they didn't
402
00:21:19.640 --> 00:21:21.720
give it enough credit and most of their revenue was
403
00:21:21.799 --> 00:21:24.519
driven off of film, and so.
404
00:21:24.440 --> 00:21:25.599
They looked at it.
405
00:21:25.640 --> 00:21:27.359
I forget what the story was like at the beginning
406
00:21:27.359 --> 00:21:30.759
of the nineties, they did it summary and they said,
407
00:21:30.799 --> 00:21:34.160
based on the pixelation of the camera, et cetera, that
408
00:21:34.960 --> 00:21:39.119
in the next decade, that there's no way that digital
409
00:21:39.240 --> 00:21:44.599
was going to surpass film. They were actually right in
410
00:21:44.640 --> 00:21:48.519
that decade. But the idea is we're not here for decades, right,
411
00:21:50.880 --> 00:21:51.079
and so.
412
00:21:51.680 --> 00:21:52.480
Like what did they win?
413
00:21:52.559 --> 00:21:55.640
They was like, we have enough of a lead to
414
00:21:55.680 --> 00:21:57.440
get us through a period of time.
415
00:21:59.599 --> 00:21:59.839
Again.
416
00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:02.680
But I think is great as someone who has not
417
00:22:03.039 --> 00:22:05.880
like I grew up a little older, right, I'm sixty three,
418
00:22:05.960 --> 00:22:07.759
So I was a little edd of the curve with computers.
419
00:22:07.759 --> 00:22:11.640
In college, our computer class was programming and fortram, which
420
00:22:11.680 --> 00:22:13.440
nobody ever does, right, So it was a class that
421
00:22:13.559 --> 00:22:18.400
had no value whatsoever in my mind. And so and
422
00:22:18.440 --> 00:22:21.400
then also I was drinking a lot until I was thirty,
423
00:22:21.519 --> 00:22:23.359
so a lot of the time where some people were
424
00:22:23.359 --> 00:22:25.480
going to build some of those technical skills, I didn't
425
00:22:25.519 --> 00:22:28.799
really do a great job. And so I've always had
426
00:22:28.839 --> 00:22:31.759
again a little story of mind, like I'm great at technology.
427
00:22:31.839 --> 00:22:35.519
The great thing about AI, if you lean into it,
428
00:22:35.559 --> 00:22:38.880
is you don't really have to be right, right, It's
429
00:22:39.039 --> 00:22:43.359
AI is an equalizer in my mind for a lot
430
00:22:43.400 --> 00:22:49.599
of us. And so yeah, yeah, it's interesting. Who knows exactly.
431
00:22:49.680 --> 00:22:52.720
I think there needs to be some constraint, right, I
432
00:22:52.759 --> 00:22:55.440
think that they're based on what I've read. There can
433
00:22:55.480 --> 00:22:58.920
be some serious dangers around just allowing it to grow
434
00:22:59.039 --> 00:23:04.079
unfettered and undirected. Serious challenges there. But it's also a
435
00:23:04.119 --> 00:23:07.400
tool that can do great things. And if we look
436
00:23:07.440 --> 00:23:10.759
at our businesses and say, what are the elements? Go
437
00:23:10.799 --> 00:23:14.000
back to zones of genius, right, So where's your zone
438
00:23:14.039 --> 00:23:15.440
of genius?
439
00:23:15.480 --> 00:23:16.519
And then how.
440
00:23:16.359 --> 00:23:19.279
Do you use AI just the same way you would
441
00:23:19.359 --> 00:23:22.480
use another great person on your team, like what does
442
00:23:22.640 --> 00:23:25.839
what is the AI team member or members?
443
00:23:26.759 --> 00:23:30.119
What are they great at? And then you stay in your.
444
00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:34.359
Zone of genius and allow you to use the time
445
00:23:34.440 --> 00:23:37.240
that you want to invest into your business in areas that.
446
00:23:37.200 --> 00:23:38.559
Are going to have a lot of impact.
447
00:23:39.119 --> 00:23:41.720
And there's a learning curve to AI, and I think
448
00:23:41.759 --> 00:23:46.680
it's just going to keep growing. You can get reasonably competent,
449
00:23:47.119 --> 00:23:52.119
so it's starting to give you returns pretty quickly. So
450
00:23:52.160 --> 00:23:54.759
you lean into it and you know, take a course
451
00:23:54.839 --> 00:23:58.000
or two and you figure out like, Okay, I understand
452
00:23:58.039 --> 00:24:00.839
here's where here's where really adds value.
453
00:24:00.880 --> 00:24:03.640
Here's where it needs to continue to be human led.
454
00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:07.240
Here's where I can collaborate, Here's where I can actually delegate.
455
00:24:07.839 --> 00:24:10.880
And then you get a feel around around that. And again,
456
00:24:10.920 --> 00:24:13.319
I think that's the same thing is looking at it.
457
00:24:15.480 --> 00:24:17.119
And accepting where we are.
458
00:24:18.200 --> 00:24:22.319
One of the greatest challenges I think for all of
459
00:24:22.400 --> 00:24:27.279
us is our lack of acceptance about what is true right,
460
00:24:27.359 --> 00:24:30.680
whatever it happens to be. Like let's say you know,
461
00:24:31.039 --> 00:24:32.960
exercise has been a big part of your life forever,
462
00:24:33.359 --> 00:24:34.279
and so you look at it and go.
463
00:24:34.279 --> 00:24:35.039
Okay, this is great.
464
00:24:35.079 --> 00:24:37.359
You know, exercise, and then you have a conversation with
465
00:24:37.359 --> 00:24:40.119
somebody and they're you know, they're fifty years old, but
466
00:24:40.119 --> 00:24:41.920
they're three hundred pounds, right, so there are one hundred
467
00:24:41.920 --> 00:24:47.640
pounds overweight. And the challenge isn't that they can't get
468
00:24:47.720 --> 00:24:50.640
to being really fit, right. The challenge is if you
469
00:24:50.640 --> 00:24:53.319
don't accept where you are and you say, okay, so
470
00:24:53.359 --> 00:24:56.279
today I'm three hundred pounds, or my business is behind
471
00:24:56.319 --> 00:24:59.240
the eight ball, or my relationship with my spouse isn't
472
00:24:59.240 --> 00:25:01.200
where it should be, or I really didn't develop the
473
00:25:01.240 --> 00:25:02.680
relationship with my kids, or.
474
00:25:02.640 --> 00:25:06.079
Whatever it happens to me. Right, whatever is true is true.
475
00:25:06.200 --> 00:25:09.279
And when when you get there and then you say, okay,
476
00:25:09.319 --> 00:25:12.440
I can build from here, that I can't build from
477
00:25:12.519 --> 00:25:15.240
somewhere I'm not Like if you think about the Google map,
478
00:25:15.519 --> 00:25:17.559
you know, they ask you two things, where do you
479
00:25:17.559 --> 00:25:17.960
want to go?
480
00:25:18.599 --> 00:25:19.240
And where are you?
481
00:25:19.559 --> 00:25:20.119
Right? Right?
482
00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:22.599
Right? And if you tell them a different where are you?
483
00:25:22.599 --> 00:25:23.640
You can't get there? Right?
484
00:25:23.680 --> 00:25:25.559
You can't go you know, I know I'm in Florida,
485
00:25:25.559 --> 00:25:27.960
about it. I wish I was in North Carolina, And
486
00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:29.279
so how do I get to New York?
487
00:25:29.319 --> 00:25:31.240
From North Carolina. It's not gonna work.
488
00:25:31.880 --> 00:25:35.000
I think there's there's something. I think something that you're
489
00:25:35.039 --> 00:25:39.400
pointing out time time. But but the one of the
490
00:25:39.440 --> 00:25:41.279
things I have to say though with this, John, is
491
00:25:41.319 --> 00:25:44.000
that there has to be a point where you accept
492
00:25:44.440 --> 00:25:48.000
where you are right, you know, because hey, you know
493
00:25:48.039 --> 00:25:49.640
what you're like, You said you want to go from Florida,
494
00:25:49.680 --> 00:25:52.039
North Carolina. Do I accept the address that I'm putting
495
00:25:52.079 --> 00:25:53.880
in or not?
496
00:25:54.119 --> 00:25:56.599
Am I really here? You know?
497
00:25:56.680 --> 00:25:58.720
And I think that's what happens to us. Sometimes we
498
00:25:58.759 --> 00:26:02.799
don't accept the position that we're in. If we are overweight,
499
00:26:02.839 --> 00:26:05.160
if we are we have not grown the business to
500
00:26:05.160 --> 00:26:07.920
where we want to. We're not accepting the criticism that
501
00:26:07.960 --> 00:26:09.720
our wife has given us because we haven't done what
502
00:26:09.759 --> 00:26:12.519
we need to do. We're not accepting the opportunities that
503
00:26:12.839 --> 00:26:15.680
maybe our kids have or don't have. You know, because
504
00:26:15.920 --> 00:26:19.200
I've come across this as well, some parents are a
505
00:26:19.240 --> 00:26:23.079
little bit more jealous envious because the opportunities that their
506
00:26:23.160 --> 00:26:25.400
kids have versus what they had when they were younger.
507
00:26:25.440 --> 00:26:27.440
You know, So a lot of things that we have,
508
00:26:28.039 --> 00:26:30.640
you know, kind of built up inside of us that
509
00:26:30.640 --> 00:26:33.559
that kind of hinders us to move forward. That's just
510
00:26:33.599 --> 00:26:37.039
my own experience and people that I've spoken to, and
511
00:26:37.119 --> 00:26:40.119
again some of that is just regular human you know,
512
00:26:41.000 --> 00:26:45.440
you know moments, and so, you know, changing the perspective
513
00:26:45.599 --> 00:26:47.119
I think is one of the things that we really
514
00:26:47.519 --> 00:26:50.440
have to work on intentionally every day.
515
00:26:51.720 --> 00:26:54.559
Yeah, I was recently doing this program called inter Engineering
516
00:26:54.599 --> 00:26:58.240
by Sad Guru, who a friend of mine introduced me
517
00:26:58.279 --> 00:27:00.839
to him. I think he's also known as Yisha, But
518
00:27:00.920 --> 00:27:02.359
I mean one of the things he talks about is
519
00:27:02.359 --> 00:27:07.319
the inevitability of this moment, like this moment, this is
520
00:27:07.559 --> 00:27:10.799
this is this is what it is. This is acceptance, right,
521
00:27:10.839 --> 00:27:14.400
and the idea that you push against what's real, you know,
522
00:27:14.480 --> 00:27:17.079
you push against you try to deny in some way,
523
00:27:17.119 --> 00:27:20.000
shape or form to feel better in the moment. Well,
524
00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:24.799
you can't move forward if you're not really accepting where
525
00:27:24.839 --> 00:27:26.759
you are. But if you are accepting where you are,
526
00:27:27.440 --> 00:27:31.519
you can. You can get from where you are to anywhere,
527
00:27:32.440 --> 00:27:34.480
but you have to accept where you are. And then
528
00:27:34.599 --> 00:27:37.279
if you find like that place that you really want
529
00:27:37.279 --> 00:27:39.440
to go and it's really.
530
00:27:39.119 --> 00:27:41.839
Meaningful to you, then the journey is meaningful.
531
00:27:41.880 --> 00:27:43.880
And so who cares If you've got a journey ahead,
532
00:27:43.880 --> 00:27:45.680
you're doing this stuff that you want to do to
533
00:27:45.720 --> 00:27:48.680
impact the world the way you want to make an impact, right, So,
534
00:27:48.880 --> 00:27:51.880
get real on where you are and then think about
535
00:27:51.880 --> 00:27:54.839
how to use your gifts, talents and passions to move
536
00:27:54.960 --> 00:27:58.480
toward the impact in the world that matters to you,
537
00:27:59.079 --> 00:28:00.559
and the whole thing becomes a game.
538
00:28:00.400 --> 00:28:01.119
Right right.
539
00:28:01.559 --> 00:28:03.480
So so so John, you know one, I want to
540
00:28:03.480 --> 00:28:05.200
say thank you for coming on to the show. And
541
00:28:05.359 --> 00:28:08.599
for those people that are listening right now and they've
542
00:28:08.640 --> 00:28:10.799
accepted they are not where they really want to be
543
00:28:11.519 --> 00:28:13.720
and they need to talk to you, John, Where can
544
00:28:13.720 --> 00:28:14.599
they get your information?
545
00:28:15.640 --> 00:28:15.880
Yeah?
546
00:28:15.920 --> 00:28:18.000
The best place to get my information is on my
547
00:28:18.039 --> 00:28:24.079
website and it's John at It's just John Hypegarty dot com.
548
00:28:24.160 --> 00:28:25.920
As an email if you want to email, it's John
549
00:28:25.960 --> 00:28:29.319
at that. So but yeah, that's the best place. I'm
550
00:28:29.359 --> 00:28:33.519
also coach John Garrity on Instagram and LinkedIn and things
551
00:28:33.559 --> 00:28:36.359
like that, and uh so you can find anywhere along
552
00:28:36.400 --> 00:28:39.079
those lines. Yeah. And if you're interested in like finding
553
00:28:39.119 --> 00:28:42.079
a life that's more filled with flow and joy and
554
00:28:42.200 --> 00:28:45.920
impact and really accepting where you are and bringing your
555
00:28:45.920 --> 00:28:48.160
gifts to your game, then reach out.
556
00:28:48.200 --> 00:28:49.279
I love to have that conversation.
557
00:28:49.680 --> 00:28:51.920
Nice, nice, Nice, I just want you all to know
558
00:28:51.960 --> 00:28:54.480
we probably could be doing this for the next two
559
00:28:54.480 --> 00:29:01.599
hours though, John, to be honest, yeah you know. But John,
560
00:29:01.640 --> 00:29:03.960
I do got to ask you a question, right, would
561
00:29:04.000 --> 00:29:07.039
you rather question? And some of us may or may
562
00:29:07.079 --> 00:29:11.559
not accept your response, but would you rather choose three
563
00:29:11.640 --> 00:29:13.519
doors or a fork in the road?
564
00:29:15.160 --> 00:29:17.079
I love the question, and because I had a chance
565
00:29:17.160 --> 00:29:20.359
to sit with it for a little while, I think
566
00:29:20.480 --> 00:29:25.359
life is a consistent compounding of forks.
567
00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:25.519
In the road.
568
00:29:26.359 --> 00:29:29.200
And I was listening to one of your podcasts earlier
569
00:29:29.200 --> 00:29:32.319
and someone had referenced the Robert Frost poem.
570
00:29:32.160 --> 00:29:34.680
Yes you know, two roads.
571
00:29:35.039 --> 00:29:37.240
But I think the interesting thing about that is like
572
00:29:37.319 --> 00:29:40.400
when I first heard it as a younger person, I
573
00:29:40.440 --> 00:29:42.279
thought that there was a fork in the road.
574
00:29:43.039 --> 00:29:45.000
But what's true is.
575
00:29:44.960 --> 00:29:50.119
There are constant forks in the road, and so we're
576
00:29:50.200 --> 00:29:55.519
constantly choosing. And what I think helps remove some fear
577
00:29:56.599 --> 00:29:58.839
is recognizing that you're going to make a decision, and
578
00:29:58.880 --> 00:30:00.799
you know what, you're going to make an other decision
579
00:30:01.720 --> 00:30:04.880
based on the information you get back from the one
580
00:30:04.880 --> 00:30:07.440
that you just made, right, and so life is just
581
00:30:07.480 --> 00:30:12.599
a continual choice and iteration off of the feedback that
582
00:30:12.680 --> 00:30:16.759
you're getting based on those forks in the road, so
583
00:30:16.839 --> 00:30:19.839
you make the best decision you can, but you recognize
584
00:30:19.880 --> 00:30:21.359
it's not this life or death.
585
00:30:21.359 --> 00:30:23.240
If I choose this, my life's horrible.
586
00:30:23.279 --> 00:30:25.160
If I choose the truth is, you're going to choose
587
00:30:25.200 --> 00:30:27.720
one of those, You're gonna get feedback and you're.
588
00:30:27.599 --> 00:30:31.799
Gonna go over corrected, under corrected. You know, this really
589
00:30:31.839 --> 00:30:32.519
inspires me?
590
00:30:32.599 --> 00:30:35.640
This doesn't inspire me, right, And so the idea is
591
00:30:35.680 --> 00:30:38.880
to make to look at your thing, understand where you are,
592
00:30:39.079 --> 00:30:41.519
know where you want to go, and make decisions so
593
00:30:41.559 --> 00:30:43.440
you can take actions.
594
00:30:43.240 --> 00:30:46.160
Because you don't know how things are going if you're
595
00:30:46.160 --> 00:30:47.960
not moving right.
596
00:30:48.000 --> 00:30:51.119
And so I would say I would choose a ton
597
00:30:51.359 --> 00:30:55.799
of forks of the road and recognize.
598
00:30:55.240 --> 00:30:56.480
That that's that is life.
599
00:30:56.759 --> 00:31:01.000
Life is constantly choosing what do I want between these
600
00:31:01.000 --> 00:31:02.319
things that are being presented in it.
601
00:31:02.640 --> 00:31:04.480
So you don't think that you will want to peek
602
00:31:04.519 --> 00:31:06.400
down a road, because it's just I'm gonna be honest
603
00:31:06.440 --> 00:31:09.119
the way I'm taking your response, like, hey, you know what,
604
00:31:09.440 --> 00:31:11.759
I'll deal with it as it comes. Some people want
605
00:31:11.799 --> 00:31:14.000
to cheat a little bit, you know. I'm not sure
606
00:31:14.000 --> 00:31:16.160
if you've seen that movie inception where the road bends
607
00:31:16.240 --> 00:31:18.240
up a little bit, you know, kind of see down
608
00:31:18.240 --> 00:31:20.680
the road. So so, but why would you want to
609
00:31:20.799 --> 00:31:22.680
choose it that way or go about it that way?
610
00:31:24.039 --> 00:31:28.200
So when you you are at some level, you are
611
00:31:28.240 --> 00:31:30.720
looking into the future that you believe that you're going
612
00:31:30.759 --> 00:31:33.799
to create. Right, So you are looking into that future, right,
613
00:31:34.119 --> 00:31:36.960
life doesn't happen to you like there is no future
614
00:31:36.960 --> 00:31:40.960
that currently exists that you're trying to find, right, You're
615
00:31:40.960 --> 00:31:44.119
creating it as you move forward. And so what you're
616
00:31:44.119 --> 00:31:48.400
doing the vision of looking into the future is looking
617
00:31:48.559 --> 00:31:52.319
toward what you consider to be your idealized future of
618
00:31:52.519 --> 00:31:55.599
impact and contribution and joy and everything you want to
619
00:31:55.599 --> 00:31:59.400
experience and contribute. And then, based on where you are
620
00:31:59.440 --> 00:32:01.359
today versus is that vision, you're going to look at
621
00:32:01.359 --> 00:32:03.799
it and say, which of these multiple choices?
622
00:32:03.839 --> 00:32:06.440
Right, there's actually not two choices. There's always a bunch
623
00:32:06.480 --> 00:32:07.279
of choices.
624
00:32:07.519 --> 00:32:09.000
And you look at it and say, I think this
625
00:32:09.039 --> 00:32:11.839
one's the one that's going to lead me there, and
626
00:32:11.880 --> 00:32:13.640
then you're going to take a few steps in that direction,
627
00:32:13.759 --> 00:32:16.720
you're going to have another choice. And so as long
628
00:32:16.759 --> 00:32:20.079
as you're continually thinking about where you want to be
629
00:32:20.759 --> 00:32:24.599
and that you're making decisions and taking action, you keep
630
00:32:24.640 --> 00:32:27.599
moving to that direction and even that ultimate thing that
631
00:32:27.680 --> 00:32:31.319
will move too right, right, like your vision of like
632
00:32:31.440 --> 00:32:32.960
my vision of what I want to be true ten
633
00:32:33.039 --> 00:32:34.720
years from now when I'm seventy three, I have a
634
00:32:34.720 --> 00:32:37.039
pretty clear clear vision of what I but I guarantee
635
00:32:37.039 --> 00:32:41.640
you it will be different as I move closer to it, right,
636
00:32:41.680 --> 00:32:46.079
I'll have new imaginations, I'll have new ideas about what's possible.
637
00:32:46.519 --> 00:32:46.880
And so.
638
00:32:48.319 --> 00:32:53.559
Nothing is concretized, right, everything is dynamic, right, and we keep.
639
00:32:54.079 --> 00:32:56.680
And that for me, that has made my life.
640
00:32:58.400 --> 00:33:03.319
Post you know, posts a so so much fun, you know,
641
00:33:03.400 --> 00:33:05.920
And I look at life every day as an opportunity
642
00:33:05.960 --> 00:33:07.839
to play this game and have this impact that I
643
00:33:07.880 --> 00:33:11.480
want to have in the world, and just keep moving
644
00:33:11.480 --> 00:33:13.519
to that direction and enjoy the journey.
645
00:33:13.960 --> 00:33:18.799
So so, John, before I go, I really want to say,
646
00:33:19.160 --> 00:33:22.359
I hope everyone is listening, John, I thank you for
647
00:33:22.400 --> 00:33:25.640
giving us permission, because some of us don't allow ourselves
648
00:33:25.640 --> 00:33:30.359
to have permission to look at life a little more freely. Right,
649
00:33:30.880 --> 00:33:32.799
you know, where we're on this straight and narrow we
650
00:33:32.920 --> 00:33:35.519
you know, we keep looking down this one road but
651
00:33:35.640 --> 00:33:38.559
not understanding that, hey, there is going to be moments
652
00:33:38.559 --> 00:33:42.000
and opportunities for us. Of course, correct, you know, correct,
653
00:33:42.400 --> 00:33:46.440
or whatever the situation might be. Maybe down this road,
654
00:33:46.480 --> 00:33:48.359
maybe I've been traveling on the right side. Maybe I
655
00:33:48.400 --> 00:33:49.799
need to be on the left side right now because
656
00:33:49.799 --> 00:33:50.640
it's too many potholes.
657
00:33:50.839 --> 00:33:52.359
Whatever it is, right, you.
658
00:33:52.319 --> 00:33:54.119
Know, so I thank you for giving us permission for that.
659
00:33:54.680 --> 00:33:57.839
Oh my pleasure. I mean, I think real quick, if
660
00:33:57.839 --> 00:33:59.720
it's all right. One is, the name of my company
661
00:33:59.720 --> 00:34:03.200
is great just authenticity. And so when I think about
662
00:34:03.359 --> 00:34:07.000
living life, you got to live your life, not somebody else's,
663
00:34:07.440 --> 00:34:11.480
and courageously, not just when because sometimes people are like,
664
00:34:11.519 --> 00:34:13.840
I'm gonna be as authentic as long as I'm surrounded
665
00:34:13.840 --> 00:34:16.519
by a tribe of people that feel exactly like I do. Right,
666
00:34:16.559 --> 00:34:18.320
you have to be courageous and like, what do you
667
00:34:18.360 --> 00:34:20.920
really believe in? What do you really care about? And
668
00:34:20.960 --> 00:34:25.159
then the second one is just as far as the
669
00:34:25.360 --> 00:34:30.440
freedom and the fun I find when I'm restricted and
670
00:34:30.480 --> 00:34:33.199
I'm trying to walk too tight of a road for me,
671
00:34:34.519 --> 00:34:37.639
you know, I love the freedom and the flexibility and
672
00:34:37.679 --> 00:34:40.280
the idea that I'm going to fail. Jesus, I've failed
673
00:34:40.320 --> 00:34:42.719
a bunch, right, You've made a lot.
674
00:34:42.519 --> 00:34:44.760
Of like I'm taking this for what wrong?
675
00:34:44.800 --> 00:34:46.519
What I got to go right.
676
00:34:47.719 --> 00:34:50.719
But when you but I'm having a great time, you know.
677
00:34:51.159 --> 00:34:52.559
And so I look at it, I go, wow, you know,
678
00:34:52.599 --> 00:34:54.519
maybe I hadn't turned that way or this way. I'm like,
679
00:34:54.559 --> 00:34:57.119
I don't. I love where I landed. I love where
680
00:34:57.159 --> 00:35:00.199
I keep going, you know. And it's I think being
681
00:35:00.239 --> 00:35:03.239
open to the dynamic process of the unfolding of our
682
00:35:03.280 --> 00:35:06.199
lives is really what makes it joyful.
683
00:35:06.400 --> 00:35:08.239
So wow, it takes the stress out.
684
00:35:08.880 --> 00:35:09.280
Wow.
685
00:35:09.400 --> 00:35:09.639
Nice.
686
00:35:09.719 --> 00:35:11.199
I thank you very much for coming on the show.
687
00:35:11.840 --> 00:35:13.880
My pleasure, Worris, thank you so much for having me.
688
00:35:14.000 --> 00:35:14.639
You're really great.
689
00:35:14.639 --> 00:35:18.519
Welcome, And of course everyone John's information will be in
690
00:35:18.559 --> 00:35:21.719
a show notes. So if you're biking, hiking, canoeing, you know,
691
00:35:21.840 --> 00:35:24.159
looking at the Statue of Liberty, whatever it might be,
692
00:35:24.599 --> 00:35:26.559
you know, his information will be in the show notes.
693
00:35:26.599 --> 00:35:29.320
But of course before I let everyone go, I gotta
694
00:35:29.440 --> 00:35:32.320
leave you with a challenge. So it's going to be
695
00:35:32.360 --> 00:35:35.400
a playoff other would you rather question about the door?
696
00:35:35.559 --> 00:35:39.960
So if you find one door, the story closed, right,
697
00:35:40.679 --> 00:35:46.039
think of one specific opportunity, relationship, conversation, or risk that
698
00:35:46.119 --> 00:35:49.679
you didn't take because of a story you were telling yourself.
699
00:35:50.400 --> 00:35:52.199
I want you to think about what was that story?
700
00:35:52.920 --> 00:35:55.639
And also what was that door that closed? And what
701
00:35:55.719 --> 00:35:58.760
would the version of you who didn't believe that story
702
00:35:59.119 --> 00:36:02.719
have done different? Write it down. I don't need you
703
00:36:02.760 --> 00:36:04.320
to grieve it. I don't need you to be sad
704
00:36:04.360 --> 00:36:07.119
about it. We're gonna move past it. But to prove
705
00:36:07.159 --> 00:36:09.679
to yourself that the story has not been costing you
706
00:36:09.800 --> 00:36:15.559
something real. Prove create the urgency, and urgency creates the change.
707
00:36:15.920 --> 00:36:17.719
I thank you very much for listening today, and I'll
708
00:36:17.760 --> 00:36:19.039
talk to y'all just a little bit later.
709
00:36:20.000 --> 00:36:23.920
Thanks for listening. Follow Maurice Chisholm on social media to
710
00:36:24.000 --> 00:36:28.039
stay connected and check back weekly for new episodes until
711
00:36:28.079 --> 00:36:31.639
next time. That will never work? Or will it?