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You can win the argument, prove your point, and still walk away completely wrong.
I like being right.
It’s a weakness.
Years ago, I took debate classes in graduate school and loved them. I could argue positions I didn’t even believe and still make the case.
But one of the most important lessons I ever learned about being right happened much earlier.
When I was a kid, my sister’s best friend, Jena, lived just down the street. We argued over something small that belonged to our family.
I don’t even remember what it was.
What I do remember is that I knew it was ours.
So I proudly went to my dad, expecting him to settle it and prove me right.
He did confirm it belonged to us.
Then he said something I never forgot:
“Yeah, it’s ours. But she can play with it. You need to share.”
I had won the argument.
And completely missed the point.
Shortly after her 10th birthday, Jena was killed in a car accident.
I never got the chance to apologize.
And all these years later, the thing we argued over means absolutely nothing.
But the way I treated her still matters to me.
Ephesians 4:15 tells us to speak the truth in love.
Not truth instead of love.
Not love instead of truth.
Both.
Because sometimes being right makes us feel entitled to be wrong.
Right fact. Wrong tone.
Right position. Wrong spirit.
Right argument. Wrong goal.
Before you send the text, fire back, or prove somebody wrong, ask yourself:
Am I trying to help this person understand, or am I just trying to make sure they know I’m right?
Because those are not always the same thing.
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