The Bed/Do Not Disturb (feat. Alison Pill)

WEBVTT
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Lemonada.
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Hey grown-ups, Lee here. We are so excited to return
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with Season 8. But first, I'd like to take just
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a minute here before the episode starts to ask for
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your help with finishing the season. First, some good news.
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We've joined forces with a new network this season called
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Lemonada Media... and they're bringing fresh resources and energy to
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the show. We're so thrilled for their support. We're also
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grateful for all of you listening that are members of
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Creator Club. Your support means the world to us, especially
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right now. And if you're not a member yet, we're
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so grateful that you're here listening. welcoming us into your homes,
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and we're especially grateful for the tens of thousands of
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original kids' stories that you send us every year. Now
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the not-so-great news. We want to be honest with our
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listeners that it is a really challenging time right now
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for educational media providers, including kids and family podcasts like
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Story Pirates. Over the past few years, the podcast industry
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has turned almost entirely away from kids and family programming,
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despite the fact that hundreds of thousands of listeners rely
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on it. And we know you rely on it because
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you tell us. You tell us how Story Pirates helped
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make driving to school every day more fun, a long
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road trip more bearable, or bedtime more peaceful.
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And.
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All of it is screen free. If you've ever listened
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to the credits for our show, you know that a
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lot of people work on it. There's the music team
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who scores every episode and writes the songs and produces
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the songs. There's, of course, the amazing actors, singers, writers, editors,
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and so many more people that work so hard to
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put this show out at least once a week. But
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unless we're able to raise more funds, this season could
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unfortunately be a short one. And right now, we need
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your help in a new way. So we're offering, for
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the first time, personalized videos from us to you.
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That's right.
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For your donation, we'll send you, your kids, whoever in
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your life that you think will appreciate it, probably your kids,
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a personalized video saying hello, happy birthday, happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, whatever.
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You can choose a video from me or Peter or
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Megan or Nimany or Eric or even Rolo. This is
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the only time we've ever offered this and we're not
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going to be offering it again anytime soon. So this
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is your chance. Get a video for that special imaginative
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kid in your life and help the story pirates finish
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our season. And if you're hearing all of this and
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you happen to have more significant resources to spare, we're
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looking for one or two larger patrons who may want
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to have a conversation with us about becoming credited producers
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on the show. If that sounds like you, drop us
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a line. You can do that and get your own
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personalized video today at storypirates.com slash support. That link is
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also in the show notes for today's episode.
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Okay.
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Thanks for listening, and thanks again for all your support.
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It really does mean the world to us. On to
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the show, after a few more words for the grown-ups.
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Nemini, I got a triple half-caff macchiato with a side
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of pinto beans for Nemini.
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Right here, Rolo.
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Sorry for the wait. I'm a little swamped today. Yeah,
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the bean emporium is hopping.
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I've never seen it so busy.
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Well, you know what they say about sailing on the
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open ocean and having a strong desire to eat and
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drink beans?
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No. Me neither.
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I was hoping you did.
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Anyway, I'm having real staffing issues running a business on
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a pirate ship.
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All of my employees keep not showing up for their shifts.
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By all your employees, do you mean us, the rest
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of the story pirates?
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I do.
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Yeah, sorry.
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Hey, Niminy.
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Hey, Rolo.
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Whoa, Lee, what's that humongous stack of papers you're carrying?
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Oh, this?
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It's just our mail.
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We get a lot of it. Going through it all
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is a big part of my morning routine, which I
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can't do until I've had my morning coffee.
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The usual?
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Yes, Rolo. One large coffee kefir. Hold the coffee. All right,
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let's see. Bills, bills, bills, bills, bills. Tens of thousands
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of incredible stories written by kids. Bills, bills, bills.
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Hey, what's this?
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That's a fancy envelope. Here's your coffee, Lee.
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Thank you, Rolo.
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Hey, Lee, weren't you on schedule to work today at
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the bean import? All of that went directly in my face.
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Look!
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What is it?
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We've been invited to be the keynote speakers at StorytellerCon.
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At what? StorytellerCon. It's only the most prestigious event for
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storytellers in the history of stories. It's where all the
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biggest moments in storytelling have happened. Homer first unveiled his
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alternate ending to the Odyssey. The Brothers Grimm defeated Hans
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Christian Andersen in a freestyle rap battle. And where the
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Winds of Winter was secretly released four years ago. Oh, man.
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Lee, that sounds great!
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Why do you seem so sad about it?
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Because I've always wanted to go to StorytellerCon, but of course,
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we never can.
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Why not?
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Because, Nimminy, while we've explored the ocean, the sky, even
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space and beyond, this event is in the one place
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in the entire universe that we can't drive our ship, land!
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I always thought I had some strong Jack Kerouac energy.
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My greatest dream is to tackle the open road, but
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it's impossible. What?
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Well, you know I installed wheels on the ship all
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the way back in season two, right?
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You did what?
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All I have to do is switch the ship to
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the right mode.
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What's the right mode? It's called.
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Road Trip!
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Ha ha! Yes!
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It just filled me up with joy.
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My mom loves the jokes.
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Yo, yo, my joke.
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It made me very proud about my writing. Yeah, we're
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just getting like really deep into like, I want to
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say philosophies. I definitely think I can be more creative now.
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I'm the champion.
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The Zoli Pirates.
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Welcome back to the Story Pirates podcast, everyone.
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Where we take stories written by kids. And turn them
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into sketch comedy.
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And songs.
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All right, pirates, listen up. You all know why I've
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gathered you here.
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I thought this was a Bean Emporium staff meeting.
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It was before Lee took it over.
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And I thank you for that, sweet Rolo. Now, as
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you know, we've been to a lot of places on
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our journeys. We've explored the high seas, the skies, outer space,
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the ocean depths, the Earth's core. We've even been... to
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New York City. But we're about to embark on our
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strangest journey yet. A road trip. But StorytellerCon is a
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classy event. And our ship is a mess. We can't
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drive up to the convention center looking like this. So,
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I think a little spring cleaning is in order.
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Yes, Rachel.
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We do gotta. We literally haven't taken the trash out.
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In eight years. Hmm. Fair point.
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Let's get to it. And while that's happening, let's do
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our first story. And listeners, I have something very exciting
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to share about this first story. This season, some of
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the stories we are adapting are from our Story Quest program,
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which is our brand new, completely digital creative writing program
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for schools. But here's the cool part. Our non-profit arm,
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Story Pirates Changemakers, helps make StoryQuest affordable to schools anywhere.
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And some Title I schools even get the program for free.
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And guess what? Today's first story comes from an incredible
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author at one of those schools. Here they are to
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introduce their story.
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Hi, my name is Bentley. I'm nine years old and
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I live in New York. This is my story, The Bed.
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Where's the bed?
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A bed for the doctor.
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Find a bed.
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A bed for the doctor.
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Where's the bed?
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A bed for the doctor.
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The doctor is sleepy. Dr.
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Bentley's a pediatrician.
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Helping kids feel better is my mission.
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At the office clinic or through telehealth.
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With patients coming more and more, last week the line
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went out the door.
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The doctor started yawning and said to.
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Himself, I'm feeling really beat. Gotta get off both my feet.
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I need to rest my head.
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So I said this.
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Doctor needs a bed.
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Where's the bed?
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A bed for the doctor.
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Find a bed.
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A bed for the doctor.
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Where's the bed?
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A bed for the doctor. The doctor is sleepy.
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Hey, doctor, try.
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This x-ray machine.
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It's cozy and it's very clean.
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But, doctor, we can.
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See your bones. That's not a good bed.
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Hey, doc, here's an MRI machine.
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It's quiet here and so serene. Never mind. That's not
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a good bed. Where's the bed?
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A bed for the doctor.
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Find a bed.
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A bed for the doctor.
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Where's the bed?
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A bed for the doctor.
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The doctor's still sleepy.
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The couch that's in the doctor's lounge is way too small.
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And wheelchairs roll so that won't work at all. There's
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no bed here and so I'll disappear. I guess I'll
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just go home.
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Ah, home sweet home. But still no sign of a...
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Wait a second. I have a bed here in my room!
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A bed that's perfect for a.
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There's a bed A bed for the doctor A queen-size
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bed That's right, for the doctor And on that bed
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The bed of the doctor The doctor is sleeping.
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There's a bed A bed for the doctor.
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A queen-size bed That's right, for the doctor And on that.
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Bed The bed of the doctor The doctor is sleeping Dr.
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Bentley had a bed So why'd we all go lose
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our heads?
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We searched the office high and low When there was
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one place.
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He could go.
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Dr. Bentley found a bed!
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You woke me up!
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Oops, the doctor was sleeping. That's good.
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Hey, Lee, I have all my stuff I want to
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get rid of. Where should I put it?
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Very good, Eric. Over here on the deck, you'll see
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that I've made four piles. Trash, keep, donate, and recycle.
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Whoa, what's with all the machinery in the recycle pile?
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Oh, Nimany was here earlier. I think she feels bad
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that all her inventions keep getting us into trouble, so
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she decided to clean house.
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What? What?
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When have her inventions ever gotten us into trouble?
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Well, let's see. Her anything machine accidentally brought thousands of
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characters to life last season. She turned Peter into a goose,
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although I kind of like that. The infinity cube almost
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drowned us all in self-duplicating objects. The simul room made
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me think that I was a king.
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The simul room?
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Season three. You weren't here yet.
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Am I ever not going to be the new guy?
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Probably not.
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The point is, it's not safe to have all that
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stuff lying around. I guess.
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Anyway, here's what I'm getting rid of. My second pair
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of board shorts and my swift and irritated DVD collection.
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But those are your favorite movies.
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And it isn't easy to let them go. But I
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still have them on streaming and Laserdisc and Betamax and
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the original film reels.
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I'm here with my stuff.
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Hey, Peter, what do you got?
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I have 48,000 empty mini yogurt containers.
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Wow.
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And a vat of 48,000 fluid ounces of yogurt.
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Should I even ask?
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Probably not, because I do not remember. Donate or, uh.
255
00:12:57.139 --> 00:12:57.779
Trash.
256
00:12:58.039 --> 00:12:58.379
Got it.
257
00:12:58.600 --> 00:13:00.279
Here's my stuff. Howdy.
258
00:13:00.320 --> 00:13:00.779
Hello.
259
00:13:00.840 --> 00:13:01.379
Bonjour.
260
00:13:01.799 --> 00:13:04.120
Rachel, where did all these other Rachels come from?
261
00:13:04.340 --> 00:13:05.480
They're all from Planet Rachel.
262
00:13:05.980 --> 00:13:07.120
I forgot I even had them.
263
00:13:07.440 --> 00:13:08.139
Go, Rachels.
264
00:13:08.500 --> 00:13:09.070
Be free.
265
00:13:09.429 --> 00:13:11.029
Sacre bleu. We're free.
266
00:13:11.169 --> 00:13:11.830
Au revoir.
267
00:13:12.730 --> 00:13:14.529
Where are they going? We're still on the ocean.
268
00:13:15.009 --> 00:13:16.909
Better not to ask questions.
269
00:13:17.669 --> 00:13:17.909
Okay.
270
00:13:18.860 --> 00:13:19.419
Siegfried!
271
00:13:19.860 --> 00:13:23.200
I have brought the mighty Tarnhelm, a helmet of great
272
00:13:23.379 --> 00:13:27.159
power that I won when I slew the dragon Fafnir.
273
00:13:27.480 --> 00:13:30.610
It grants its wearer the power of invisibility.
274
00:13:31.039 --> 00:13:32.090
Why would you get rid of that?
275
00:13:32.669 --> 00:13:37.649
Every time I put it on, I literally can't find myself. Metaphorically, too.
276
00:13:38.529 --> 00:13:40.929
The existential dread really takes the fun.
277
00:13:40.809 --> 00:13:41.029
Out of it.
278
00:13:41.830 --> 00:13:44.649
Hey, Lee, is there a compost pile?
279
00:13:44.789 --> 00:13:47.190
Baby with a mustache, what could you possibly have in
280
00:13:47.230 --> 00:13:48.730
your room that's compostable?
281
00:13:49.129 --> 00:13:52.629
I have a few moldy bottles of milk, a tub
282
00:13:52.669 --> 00:13:57.759
of expired organic mustache wax, and this, five seasons worth
283
00:13:57.879 --> 00:13:59.440
of dirty diapers.
284
00:14:00.159 --> 00:14:02.679
Is that why the whole ship smells like.
285
00:14:02.740 --> 00:14:04.700
So good? You're welcome.
286
00:14:05.500 --> 00:14:06.440
I'm here as well.
287
00:14:07.019 --> 00:14:10.250
Oh, Megan, you startled me. Sorry, I'm not used to
288
00:14:10.289 --> 00:14:13.519
you entering a room so, you know, subtly.
289
00:14:14.139 --> 00:14:18.779
Yes, because normally I'm a bit much. I'm here to
290
00:14:18.820 --> 00:14:24.090
discard my useless possessions, including this. A signed headshot of
291
00:14:24.149 --> 00:14:26.850
Carrie Coons that I photoshopped myself into.
292
00:14:26.870 --> 00:14:29.769
But Megan, that's your favorite picture.
293
00:14:30.169 --> 00:14:34.389
This playbill from my one-woman show, Miss Cy Gone in
294
00:14:34.389 --> 00:14:37.889
60 Seconds, in which I performed all of Miss Cy
295
00:14:37.909 --> 00:14:41.210
Gone in 60 seconds as Nicolas Cage.
296
00:14:41.649 --> 00:14:43.610
But that was the best thing you've ever done.
297
00:14:44.269 --> 00:14:45.669
And finally, this.
298
00:14:46.009 --> 00:14:49.690
My dramatically large quill that I insist on using to
299
00:14:49.789 --> 00:14:51.669
give autographs that no one's.
300
00:14:51.629 --> 00:14:52.529
Asked me for.
301
00:14:53.139 --> 00:14:57.279
Okay, something is definitely not right. Megan would never part
302
00:14:57.320 --> 00:15:00.840
with her quill. Megan, what is wrong with you? Nothing.
303
00:15:01.399 --> 00:15:03.570
I'm... I'm... Up here?
304
00:15:03.990 --> 00:15:08.139
Gasp! It's Megan? Up in the bucket thingy? In a
305
00:15:08.250 --> 00:15:09.500
Peter Pan costume?
306
00:15:12.440 --> 00:15:13.580
Stuck the landing.
307
00:15:13.919 --> 00:15:17.960
Whoa, she just swung down 100 feet from the sails. Okay,
308
00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:20.059
now that is a Megan entrance.
309
00:15:20.419 --> 00:15:22.440
Because I'm the real Megan.
310
00:15:22.799 --> 00:15:24.659
Megan, why were you all dressed up like that?
311
00:15:24.960 --> 00:15:27.990
I've spent every afternoon for the past eight years up
312
00:15:28.009 --> 00:15:31.169
there in this costume just waiting for an opportunity to
313
00:15:31.230 --> 00:15:32.610
make that very entrance.
314
00:15:32.990 --> 00:15:34.590
Huh, that sort of ruins it.
315
00:15:35.039 --> 00:15:35.360
Funny.
316
00:15:35.679 --> 00:15:37.419
That's what Jean Smart.
317
00:15:37.120 --> 00:15:37.659
Said to me.
318
00:15:37.740 --> 00:15:40.360
When you jumped out of her birthday cake.
319
00:15:40.840 --> 00:15:43.919
Say, you're not me, but how do you know so
320
00:15:43.940 --> 00:15:46.240
much about me? Explain yourself.
321
00:15:46.799 --> 00:15:47.960
I'll explain.
322
00:15:47.980 --> 00:15:50.980
Huh? It's, it's us.
323
00:15:51.320 --> 00:15:54.139
The Evil Robot Story Pirates.
324
00:15:54.929 --> 00:16:01.029
Ah! Gasp. We'll be right back after a few words
325
00:16:01.070 --> 00:16:01.750
for the grown-ups.
326
00:16:06.320 --> 00:16:08.440
The evil robot story pirates?
327
00:16:08.820 --> 00:16:10.659
What? Who? Why?
328
00:16:10.759 --> 00:16:11.259
How?
329
00:16:11.480 --> 00:16:11.899
When?
330
00:16:12.340 --> 00:16:16.899
We are the new and improved story pirates. We were
331
00:16:16.960 --> 00:16:21.450
created to be better than you, more efficient, logical, and
332
00:16:21.730 --> 00:16:26.149
on time. We will now introduce ourselves as efficiently as possible.
333
00:16:26.610 --> 00:16:32.129
I am evil robot Lee. I'm just like Lee, but organized.
334
00:16:32.529 --> 00:16:33.429
I'm organized.
335
00:16:33.649 --> 00:16:36.259
Right, Smitty? Smitty? Oh, shoot.
336
00:16:36.320 --> 00:16:37.419
I forgot to invite Smitty.
337
00:16:38.000 --> 00:16:39.820
I am evil robot Niminy.
338
00:16:40.159 --> 00:16:42.590
I'm like Niminy, but less impulsive.
339
00:16:42.899 --> 00:16:43.730
I'm not impulsive!
340
00:16:46.169 --> 00:16:46.750
Oh, shoot.
341
00:16:46.809 --> 00:16:50.690
I just accidentally invented and built a handheld black hole generator.
342
00:16:51.649 --> 00:16:56.409
Oh, I'll add it to the recycle pile. I'm evil
343
00:16:56.490 --> 00:16:57.649
robot Rachel.
344
00:16:58.080 --> 00:16:59.279
I never sit.
345
00:16:59.679 --> 00:17:00.860
But chairs.
346
00:17:01.539 --> 00:17:02.399
The beautiful chairs.
347
00:17:03.049 --> 00:17:06.920
I'm Evil Robot Eric. I'm exactly like Eric, except to
348
00:17:06.960 --> 00:17:11.240
be more aerodynamic, I cut off my dreadlocks. You're nothing
349
00:17:11.279 --> 00:17:11.640
like me.
350
00:17:11.859 --> 00:17:13.359
And I'm Evil Robot Peter.
351
00:17:13.920 --> 00:17:14.099
Huh.
352
00:17:14.579 --> 00:17:17.259
You actually do seem a lot like me. Except I
353
00:17:17.319 --> 00:17:17.980
do not eat.
354
00:17:18.380 --> 00:17:20.500
It's a monster! I don't understand.
355
00:17:20.579 --> 00:17:24.980
Who would want a more reliable, efficient, on-time version of us?
356
00:17:25.319 --> 00:17:27.920
Do we have an old arch-nemesis that we've forgotten about
357
00:17:27.960 --> 00:17:28.440
or something?
358
00:17:28.740 --> 00:17:31.470
Mother Porpoise? I can't remember if I left things on
359
00:17:31.509 --> 00:17:32.650
good terms or not.
360
00:17:32.930 --> 00:17:34.650
Rollo's old parrot, Poochie?
361
00:17:34.829 --> 00:17:37.410
Picasso Rachel? Charles Chip Chugly?
362
00:17:37.789 --> 00:17:39.710
Wow, these are some deep cuts.
363
00:17:40.309 --> 00:17:44.150
No, look not to your enemies for the answer, for
364
00:17:44.410 --> 00:17:46.450
our creator is amongst you.
365
00:17:46.930 --> 00:17:49.289
You mean one of the story pirates did this?
366
00:17:49.690 --> 00:17:50.369
I don't believe you.
367
00:17:50.690 --> 00:17:51.970
That can't be true.
368
00:17:52.349 --> 00:17:57.289
I'm afraid it is, Rachel. Yes, it was I who
369
00:17:57.309 --> 00:17:58.819
created duplicates of you all.
370
00:17:59.039 --> 00:17:59.150
But.
371
00:17:59.579 --> 00:18:01.640
Why, Rollo? Why?
372
00:18:02.039 --> 00:18:04.980
Because none of you were showing up to your shifts
373
00:18:05.019 --> 00:18:05.519
to work.
374
00:18:05.839 --> 00:18:09.480
I've been running the Bean Emporium alone. So when Niminy dumped.
375
00:18:09.259 --> 00:18:11.829
All her gadgets in the recycle pile this morning, I
376
00:18:11.880 --> 00:18:14.809
used a random combination of them to create versions of
377
00:18:14.869 --> 00:18:16.609
you that actually show up.
378
00:18:17.009 --> 00:18:17.990
Is that so bad?
379
00:18:18.329 --> 00:18:18.789
Come on.
380
00:18:19.589 --> 00:18:21.990
This is going to be fine. What's the worst that
381
00:18:22.029 --> 00:18:22.609
could happen?
382
00:18:22.890 --> 00:18:26.519
In the 20 minutes that we've been alive, we listened
383
00:18:26.559 --> 00:18:30.960
to the entirety of the Story Pirates podcast back catalog,
384
00:18:31.240 --> 00:18:33.079
and we have notes.
385
00:18:34.339 --> 00:18:37.799
But we famously don't take notes. We know.
386
00:18:38.359 --> 00:18:40.680
And we know that you won't listen when we say
387
00:18:40.720 --> 00:18:44.849
that your podcast is bogged down by inefficient absurdities.
388
00:18:45.390 --> 00:18:47.329
And unnecessary wackiness.
389
00:18:47.930 --> 00:18:50.150
And jokes that do not further the plot.
390
00:18:50.589 --> 00:18:52.769
Do you guys think a sneeze is just a burp
391
00:18:52.809 --> 00:18:53.730
with more to say?
392
00:18:54.490 --> 00:18:57.509
And we know that you will not listen when we
393
00:18:57.569 --> 00:19:01.630
tell you the truth about stories that are written by kids.
394
00:19:01.930 --> 00:19:02.569
What truth?
395
00:19:03.089 --> 00:19:06.380
That they are too weird.
396
00:19:08.059 --> 00:19:09.079
How dare you?
397
00:19:09.420 --> 00:19:12.359
We know that you cannot change, so we have given
398
00:19:12.440 --> 00:19:13.900
ourselves a new directive.
399
00:19:14.460 --> 00:19:16.700
To staff the Bean Emporium?
400
00:19:17.259 --> 00:19:20.750
No, to discredit your brand of storytelling in the one
401
00:19:20.829 --> 00:19:23.269
place where we can have the greatest impact.
402
00:19:23.589 --> 00:19:26.970
No, not StorytellerCon! Yay!
403
00:19:29.430 --> 00:19:31.670
Whoa!
404
00:19:31.950 --> 00:19:34.170
What was that? We've run aground!
405
00:19:34.470 --> 00:19:35.670
We've reached land!
406
00:19:35.970 --> 00:19:38.759
Come, evil robots, let us disembark.
407
00:19:39.220 --> 00:19:40.319
You won't get away with this.
408
00:19:40.619 --> 00:19:43.880
We will see you soon enough, story pirates, at the
409
00:19:44.039 --> 00:19:49.029
end of the road at StorytellerCon Jetpacks!
410
00:19:53.339 --> 00:19:57.779
Okay.
411
00:19:58.500 --> 00:20:00.400
Why do I feel like everyone is going to blame
412
00:20:00.529 --> 00:20:01.369
me for this?
413
00:20:01.700 --> 00:20:04.269
Because we are, Rolo. And it is going to take
414
00:20:04.349 --> 00:20:07.450
a whole lot for us to stop being mad at you.
415
00:20:07.470 --> 00:20:10.559
How about Free coffee for everyone?
416
00:20:10.960 --> 00:20:12.700
Yay!
417
00:20:12.720 --> 00:20:17.089
And also, another story? Deleted!
418
00:20:17.650 --> 00:20:19.569
And here to introduce it is the author.
419
00:20:19.589 --> 00:20:21.309
Hi, I'm Mallory.
420
00:20:21.430 --> 00:20:24.049
I'm nine years old and I live in Virginia. This
421
00:20:24.109 --> 00:20:25.849
is my story, Do Not Disturb.
422
00:20:30.559 --> 00:20:34.019
Ah, finally, the weekend. I'm home from school and in
423
00:20:34.059 --> 00:20:38.890
the one place I can be alone, my room. Dorothy,
424
00:20:38.990 --> 00:20:40.450
what if I told you about coming in my room
425
00:20:40.470 --> 00:20:41.509
without knocking?
426
00:20:41.529 --> 00:20:42.849
I don't know.
427
00:20:43.170 --> 00:20:43.519
To do it?
428
00:20:43.930 --> 00:20:47.670
To not do it. Jeez, you are so annoying.
429
00:20:47.710 --> 00:20:48.279
Get out.
430
00:20:48.599 --> 00:20:48.880
Okay.
431
00:20:50.099 --> 00:20:52.740
Is it too much to have a little time to myself?
432
00:20:53.079 --> 00:20:54.819
I don't want to have to do this, but I'm
433
00:20:54.980 --> 00:21:01.420
making a sign. Do not disturb Angry Face. Okay, I'll
434
00:21:01.440 --> 00:21:02.980
just tape this to the door and.
435
00:21:05.029 --> 00:21:05.309
There.
436
00:21:05.710 --> 00:21:09.250
Now I can finally lay down and relax.
437
00:21:10.450 --> 00:21:13.809
Hey, Mal, have you seen my reading glasses?
438
00:21:14.009 --> 00:21:16.329
Dad, didn't you read my sign?
439
00:21:16.349 --> 00:21:19.160
I can't read anything without my glasses.
440
00:21:19.400 --> 00:21:22.319
Dad, your glasses are where they always are, on top
441
00:21:22.359 --> 00:21:22.839
of your head.
442
00:21:23.180 --> 00:21:24.140
Now get out.
443
00:21:24.519 --> 00:21:28.400
Oh, oh, dad. Oh, thanks, hon.
444
00:21:30.490 --> 00:21:36.839
Okay, now time to read. Mallory, here's your laundry. Mom,
445
00:21:36.940 --> 00:21:40.539
what is your deal? The sign literally says do not disturb,
446
00:21:40.579 --> 00:21:42.480
so you do not disturb.
447
00:21:43.000 --> 00:21:44.779
Oh, so does that mean that you want to start
448
00:21:44.819 --> 00:21:45.700
doing your own laundry?
449
00:21:46.049 --> 00:21:46.890
Of course not.
450
00:21:46.990 --> 00:21:50.170
I just... Yeah, that's what I thought.
451
00:21:50.410 --> 00:21:54.410
Dinner in 20. Bruh, I am so annoyed.
452
00:21:54.789 --> 00:21:56.690
I'm gonna have to take this up a notch with
453
00:21:56.970 --> 00:22:02.430
another sign. Bodyguards Wanted. If interested, show up at my
454
00:22:02.470 --> 00:22:06.789
house tomorrow, August 29th at 6 a.m. Hmm, but how
455
00:22:06.829 --> 00:22:08.069
will they know where I live?
456
00:22:08.349 --> 00:22:09.220
Oh, I got it.
457
00:22:09.619 --> 00:22:12.140
I will be jumping up and down in my blue
458
00:22:12.319 --> 00:22:13.279
flower PJs.
459
00:22:13.700 --> 00:22:14.059
Perfect.
460
00:22:14.339 --> 00:22:18.099
Now to put these up all over town. It's the
461
00:22:18.180 --> 00:22:21.400
next day, 6 a.m. Time to start jumping up and down.
462
00:22:21.880 --> 00:22:23.809
Hey, hey, hey.
463
00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:28.000
Is this where the interview for being a bodyguard is?
464
00:22:30.609 --> 00:22:31.849
Yes, it is.
465
00:22:32.769 --> 00:22:35.829
Hello, wannabe bodyguards. Are you ready for the best job
466
00:22:35.849 --> 00:22:39.920
you've ever had? Guarding my room from my family!
467
00:22:39.940 --> 00:22:40.579
Woohoo!
468
00:22:42.200 --> 00:22:45.000
Oh no, that's the kid we're looking to work for?
469
00:22:45.460 --> 00:22:46.500
She's bananas.
470
00:22:46.859 --> 00:22:49.599
I heard that, and I assure you, I'm very sensible.
471
00:22:50.039 --> 00:22:51.359
Oh, my mistake.
472
00:22:51.819 --> 00:22:54.599
Now, line up, and when it's your turn to be interviewed,
473
00:22:54.759 --> 00:22:56.880
you can either climb up that ladder to my room
474
00:22:57.119 --> 00:22:58.900
or jump in the window via the trampoline.
475
00:22:59.180 --> 00:23:00.569
But why would I- See you in a minute.
476
00:23:02.490 --> 00:23:06.069
Ah, I made it.
477
00:23:06.329 --> 00:23:09.089
Welcome to my room, bodyguard number one. Please have a
478
00:23:09.130 --> 00:23:10.269
seat in this baby chair.
479
00:23:11.039 --> 00:23:11.980
Okay.
480
00:23:14.329 --> 00:23:16.369
Now tell me, why do you want to be a bodyguard?
481
00:23:16.789 --> 00:23:20.349
Well, frankly, I need to make... Hey, Mallory.
482
00:23:20.650 --> 00:23:22.690
Dorothy, what do you want?
483
00:23:22.710 --> 00:23:23.829
I don't know.
484
00:23:24.190 --> 00:23:25.529
Get out of my room.
485
00:23:25.819 --> 00:23:26.119
Okay.
486
00:23:27.430 --> 00:23:29.910
I am so sorry about that. You were saying?
487
00:23:31.440 --> 00:23:34.519
I think my passion for bodyguarding began when I was.
488
00:23:35.200 --> 00:23:37.799
Hey, Mal. Have you seen my phone charger?
489
00:23:37.940 --> 00:23:40.900
Dad, it's in your hand.
490
00:23:41.200 --> 00:23:41.460
Huh?
491
00:23:41.779 --> 00:23:42.180
Oh, Dad.
492
00:23:47.059 --> 00:23:49.660
God, you see what I have to deal with? Okay,
493
00:23:49.960 --> 00:23:50.380
you're done.
494
00:23:51.359 --> 00:23:52.380
Did I get the job?
495
00:23:52.829 --> 00:23:55.210
I see you have a lot of experience and you
496
00:23:55.230 --> 00:23:57.150
have blue hair, which is cool. I will get back
497
00:23:57.170 --> 00:23:58.150
to you in 30 minutes.
498
00:23:58.829 --> 00:24:00.630
Oh, okay. Thanks.
499
00:24:00.769 --> 00:24:01.730
Now jump out the window.
500
00:24:02.509 --> 00:24:03.109
But I.
501
00:24:03.269 --> 00:24:03.730
Now!
502
00:24:04.230 --> 00:24:08.619
Okay. Oh, trampoline.
503
00:24:08.720 --> 00:24:10.880
Whoa.
504
00:24:12.079 --> 00:24:13.079
Okay, who's next?
505
00:24:14.230 --> 00:24:14.690
Mallory.
506
00:24:15.029 --> 00:24:19.640
Mom! What is it? No more letting strangers climb through
507
00:24:19.660 --> 00:24:23.759
your windows. Also, breakfast in five. I guess we'll just
508
00:24:23.779 --> 00:24:27.720
have to hire them all. Hey, wannabe bodyguards out on
509
00:24:27.759 --> 00:24:29.890
the lawn, you're all hired.
510
00:24:30.089 --> 00:24:31.670
Yay!
511
00:24:31.730 --> 00:24:32.430
I needed this.
512
00:24:32.710 --> 00:24:39.049
Meet me out front tomorrow morning, bright and early. Bodyguards,
513
00:24:39.309 --> 00:24:39.930
good morning.
514
00:24:40.200 --> 00:24:40.900
Morning, boss.
515
00:24:41.160 --> 00:24:42.819
We're ready to start guarding your room.
516
00:24:43.279 --> 00:24:44.579
Nothing's going to get past us.
517
00:24:44.960 --> 00:24:46.720
Especially after we install this.
518
00:24:47.259 --> 00:24:48.539
Whoa, is that a.
519
00:24:48.720 --> 00:24:51.319
It sure is. My cousin delivered it last night in
520
00:24:51.359 --> 00:24:51.880
her truck.
521
00:24:52.279 --> 00:24:54.599
Oh, does your cousin work for the airport or something?
522
00:24:55.180 --> 00:24:55.440
What?
523
00:24:55.920 --> 00:24:58.519
Juliet is five months old. That would be ridiculous.
524
00:24:58.980 --> 00:24:59.960
Wait, what?
525
00:25:00.039 --> 00:25:03.859
Let's get to work. I'm bored.
526
00:25:04.640 --> 00:25:05.799
I guess I'll see what Mallory's up to.
527
00:25:06.480 --> 00:25:07.039
Huh?
528
00:25:07.400 --> 00:25:10.960
There's an airport security machine in front of her door?
529
00:25:12.089 --> 00:25:12.700
I'll just move it.
530
00:25:12.849 --> 00:25:15.190
Hold it right there, ma'am. Do you have an appointment?
531
00:25:15.549 --> 00:25:16.569
To see my sister?
532
00:25:16.849 --> 00:25:18.210
No appointment, no entry.
533
00:25:18.369 --> 00:25:18.710
Next!
534
00:25:19.170 --> 00:25:20.130
Uh, excuse me.
535
00:25:20.410 --> 00:25:21.029
What's all this?
536
00:25:21.109 --> 00:25:23.690
I have to take this laundry into Mallory's room?
537
00:25:23.869 --> 00:25:27.069
Does this laundry contain any belts, shoes, liquids, or laptops?
538
00:25:27.759 --> 00:25:28.579
Uh, no.
539
00:25:28.970 --> 00:25:30.920
Place it in a gray bin and send it through
540
00:25:30.940 --> 00:25:31.420
the machines.
541
00:25:34.200 --> 00:25:36.519
What is all the noise out here, bodyguards?
542
00:25:36.900 --> 00:25:39.039
These two were trying to gain entry, but I've turned
543
00:25:39.079 --> 00:25:39.599
them away.
544
00:25:40.099 --> 00:25:46.309
Excellent work. If anyone needs me, I'll be in my room. Unavailable. Mallory,
545
00:25:46.390 --> 00:25:52.430
I'm so bored. Finally, I've done it. Mallory, you're a genius. Oh,
546
00:25:52.619 --> 00:25:56.180
and look, something is coming through the machine. My laundry, perhaps?
547
00:25:56.559 --> 00:25:57.299
Here it comes.
548
00:25:58.720 --> 00:25:59.859
It's... Hey, Mallory.
549
00:26:00.299 --> 00:26:02.720
Dorothy, how did you get past security?
550
00:26:02.740 --> 00:26:03.900
I went through the machine.
551
00:26:04.500 --> 00:26:05.079
My shoes are off.
552
00:26:05.359 --> 00:26:06.940
Get out of my room.
553
00:26:07.819 --> 00:26:09.619
Hey, Mal.
554
00:26:09.759 --> 00:26:12.329
Dad, are you trying to get into my room via
555
00:26:12.420 --> 00:26:13.369
the trampoline?
556
00:26:14.089 --> 00:26:14.549
Oh, yeah.
557
00:26:15.369 --> 00:26:16.890
They wouldn't let me through the door.
558
00:26:17.869 --> 00:26:23.549
I'm closing the window. Now, Dorothy, get out of my
559
00:26:23.609 --> 00:26:24.950
room right now.
560
00:26:25.069 --> 00:26:27.650
Look out!
561
00:26:27.789 --> 00:26:28.509
Dad!
562
00:26:28.529 --> 00:26:29.349
Oh, boy.
563
00:26:29.630 --> 00:26:32.569
Sorry about that. Hey, Mal, have you seen my social
564
00:26:32.609 --> 00:26:33.430
security card?
565
00:26:33.650 --> 00:26:34.950
You just crashed.
566
00:26:34.650 --> 00:26:35.609
Through my window.
567
00:26:35.869 --> 00:26:37.710
All right, I'm sick of this.
568
00:26:37.859 --> 00:26:39.460
Ma'am, you can't go in there.
569
00:26:39.980 --> 00:26:41.319
I can't go in there?
570
00:26:41.740 --> 00:26:44.359
Into my daughter's room? Just try and stop me.
571
00:26:44.380 --> 00:26:47.400
Out of my way! Mom's mad!
572
00:26:47.970 --> 00:26:48.369
Uh-oh.
573
00:26:48.849 --> 00:26:50.009
Mallory?
574
00:26:50.049 --> 00:26:50.190
Mom?
575
00:26:50.210 --> 00:26:54.069
You got all the security, the airport.
576
00:26:53.250 --> 00:26:56.839
Thing, the security guards just to lay on your bed?
577
00:27:17.369 --> 00:27:21.150
I need the space? I'm... I'm growing.
578
00:27:21.509 --> 00:27:22.890
You're grounded is what you are.
579
00:27:23.170 --> 00:27:24.809
What? Dinner in five.
580
00:27:25.569 --> 00:27:26.190
Thanks, hon.
581
00:27:26.630 --> 00:27:28.329
Harold, clean up this glass.
582
00:27:29.650 --> 00:27:30.359
You got it.
583
00:27:32.619 --> 00:27:37.339
Oh, get up, bodyguards. You're fine.
584
00:27:37.359 --> 00:27:38.980
The end.
585
00:27:43.500 --> 00:27:45.660
And now, Lee speaks with the author.
586
00:27:46.920 --> 00:27:49.319
So Mallory, you wrote Do Not Disturb.
587
00:27:49.900 --> 00:27:50.140
Yes.
588
00:27:50.519 --> 00:27:52.420
How did you come up with the idea for that story?
589
00:27:52.440 --> 00:27:56.819
So over the summer, my teacher asked my mom if
590
00:27:57.599 --> 00:28:01.450
I wanted to do summer writing club. And I said yes.
591
00:28:01.930 --> 00:28:04.549
She asked me what I had been writing lately. And
592
00:28:04.630 --> 00:28:07.230
I said, not much, just this Do Not Disturb sign.
593
00:28:08.529 --> 00:28:09.849
And that's how I came up.
594
00:28:09.829 --> 00:28:10.470
With my story.
595
00:28:10.789 --> 00:28:13.849
Like you were writing a literal Do Not Disturb sign
596
00:28:13.890 --> 00:28:15.150
for your own room?
597
00:28:15.839 --> 00:28:15.950
Yes.
598
00:28:16.750 --> 00:28:19.329
I think it's funny that in your story, she actually
599
00:28:19.369 --> 00:28:23.069
gets airport security and bodyguards to work outside her door,
600
00:28:23.430 --> 00:28:25.829
which sounds like it would be pretty disruptive, actually.
601
00:28:25.849 --> 00:28:30.450
That's the point.
602
00:28:30.799 --> 00:28:32.130
Can you explain that a little bit more?
603
00:28:32.150 --> 00:28:35.700
It's supposed to be, like, a funny story, so it's
604
00:28:35.740 --> 00:28:38.380
supposed to, like, make characters think, like, what.
605
00:28:38.259 --> 00:28:39.140
Are you doing, Maui?
606
00:28:39.180 --> 00:28:43.109
You know that's just gonna... like disturbing more.
607
00:28:43.130 --> 00:28:46.029
I guess sometimes the harder we work to not be disturbed,
608
00:28:46.069 --> 00:28:49.339
the easier it is for that problem to get worse.
609
00:28:49.599 --> 00:28:50.099
Yeah.
610
00:28:50.430 --> 00:28:54.339
Do you like having a place in your house that
611
00:28:54.480 --> 00:28:55.660
is just for you?
612
00:28:55.680 --> 00:29:00.579
Yes. I love my desk area because my desk is
613
00:29:00.619 --> 00:29:05.039
my favorite color that has a light and some art supplies.
614
00:29:05.480 --> 00:29:08.470
And I really like my bed too. Feels like my
615
00:29:08.589 --> 00:29:12.230
own private island where I can do whatever I want.
616
00:29:12.650 --> 00:29:14.059
Do you decorate your room?
617
00:29:14.660 --> 00:29:18.140
Yeah. Every few years, I, like, redo it. A few
618
00:29:18.160 --> 00:29:21.019
years ago, I redid it, and I went with sort of, like,
619
00:29:21.059 --> 00:29:22.319
a pink flower theme.
620
00:29:22.759 --> 00:29:25.339
Are you already thinking about how you want to remodel
621
00:29:25.599 --> 00:29:26.029
next year?
622
00:29:26.049 --> 00:29:26.849
Yeah.
623
00:29:26.930 --> 00:29:30.069
My parents say that since I'm turning 10 next year,
624
00:29:30.109 --> 00:29:32.309
they're going to let me paint my bedroom whatever color
625
00:29:32.369 --> 00:29:32.750
I want.
626
00:29:33.269 --> 00:29:36.539
Whoa, that's amazing. Do you have any advice for any
627
00:29:36.599 --> 00:29:39.009
kids who are like, I want to make my room
628
00:29:39.130 --> 00:29:42.339
special and feel like my own private space?
629
00:29:42.720 --> 00:29:45.640
They should think about what areas they use the most
630
00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:49.200
and if they could like design it any way they want,
631
00:29:49.279 --> 00:29:52.680
no budget, like what they would want in there. Sometimes
632
00:29:53.039 --> 00:29:56.279
I like ask my parents, like if they could have
633
00:29:56.299 --> 00:29:58.740
their dream room, what would they put in it? And
634
00:29:58.759 --> 00:29:59.759
then I draw it for them.
635
00:30:00.200 --> 00:30:03.279
That's a great idea. What are some examples of your
636
00:30:03.339 --> 00:30:04.400
parents' dream rooms?
637
00:30:04.940 --> 00:30:08.380
My mom, she said she wants plants and books and
638
00:30:08.799 --> 00:30:11.400
chairs in her room. And my dad, he has a
639
00:30:11.700 --> 00:30:16.099
painting table and like a computer station where he can
640
00:30:16.160 --> 00:30:18.900
call his friends and they can play D & D together.
641
00:30:19.160 --> 00:30:22.089
And what about your dream room? You probably can't have
642
00:30:22.470 --> 00:30:24.829
every single thing that you want in your own room,
643
00:30:24.869 --> 00:30:26.910
but if you could, what would you have in there?
644
00:30:27.720 --> 00:30:32.059
Well, I really love pigs and Taylor Swift. So on
645
00:30:32.099 --> 00:30:37.500
the walls, I would put posters of Taylor Swift and
646
00:30:37.559 --> 00:30:41.720
some posters of pigs up on there and a nice
647
00:30:41.940 --> 00:30:47.269
carpet and a big desk area and a nice bed,
648
00:30:47.289 --> 00:30:48.710
nice loft bed.
649
00:30:48.730 --> 00:30:52.789
I love the image of Taylor Swift and pigs right
650
00:30:52.849 --> 00:30:53.609
next to each other.
651
00:30:53.630 --> 00:30:55.470
I can picture that.
652
00:30:56.160 --> 00:30:58.619
Mallory, your story is so good. Thank you so much
653
00:30:58.660 --> 00:31:00.400
for letting us perform it.
654
00:31:00.880 --> 00:31:01.680
You're welcome.
655
00:31:02.029 --> 00:31:02.670
Bye, Mallory.
656
00:31:02.690 --> 00:31:07.869
Bye. And when we come back, it's time for Story Love,
657
00:31:08.150 --> 00:31:11.410
where Peter and I read even more stories written by kids.
658
00:31:11.869 --> 00:31:14.579
And we're joined by special guest Allison Pill.
659
00:31:15.039 --> 00:31:17.759
We'll be back after a few words for the grownups.
660
00:31:21.970 --> 00:31:25.359
Welcome back to Story Love, where we read stories written
661
00:31:25.420 --> 00:31:29.400
by kids and we discuss them. I'm here with Peter. Hello, Peter.
662
00:31:29.480 --> 00:31:30.420
Hello, Lee.
663
00:31:30.859 --> 00:31:35.319
And a very special guest, longtime friend of the show,
664
00:31:35.539 --> 00:31:36.920
Allison Pill. Hi, Allison.
665
00:31:37.160 --> 00:31:39.859
Hello. I'm so happy to be here.
666
00:31:40.279 --> 00:31:43.220
Let's get into our first story. Allison, would you do
667
00:31:43.359 --> 00:31:46.170
us a favor? The honor of reading this first one.
668
00:31:46.190 --> 00:31:50.450
I would be so honored. This story is by Audrey,
669
00:31:50.670 --> 00:31:55.640
who is 11. She's from Colorado. The squirrel that disagreed
670
00:31:55.819 --> 00:31:57.319
with talking pumpkins.
671
00:31:57.920 --> 00:31:58.599
Pumpkins.
672
00:31:59.039 --> 00:31:59.839
Who needs them?
673
00:32:00.500 --> 00:32:02.549
Humans. Who needs them?
674
00:32:03.490 --> 00:32:09.420
Squirrels could totally rule this world. Sorry, I'm getting ahead
675
00:32:09.460 --> 00:32:13.579
of myself. My name is Ava. Ava the squirrel. And
676
00:32:13.619 --> 00:32:17.960
I have a problem. It's called talking pumpkins. They are
677
00:32:18.019 --> 00:32:21.920
monstrosities who mock us squirrels because we used to eat
678
00:32:21.980 --> 00:32:28.269
pumpkins before they started talking. How did it happen, you say? Well,
679
00:32:28.650 --> 00:32:30.690
there was a human who bought a pumpkin for her
680
00:32:30.730 --> 00:32:34.019
daughter to carve into a jack-o'-lantern for her daughter's birthday,
681
00:32:34.339 --> 00:32:37.220
but they left the pumpkin out too long. It started
682
00:32:37.279 --> 00:32:40.859
to hear words that the words the humans were saying.
683
00:32:41.240 --> 00:32:43.960
Then it had been left out still too much longer,
684
00:32:44.359 --> 00:32:48.180
and the pumpkin started to talk. Then the humans were
685
00:32:48.220 --> 00:32:50.819
so scared, they took it to the grocery store to ask.
686
00:32:51.339 --> 00:32:53.390
But at the store, the pumpkin rolled out of their
687
00:32:53.470 --> 00:32:55.849
arms and taught all the other pumpkins in the entire
688
00:32:55.890 --> 00:32:59.589
large grocery store how to talk. Then the pumpkins ran
689
00:32:59.650 --> 00:33:02.529
away from the grocery store and started annoying us squirrels
690
00:33:02.880 --> 00:33:06.880
because we used to eat pumpkins. They made us miserable
691
00:33:06.980 --> 00:33:13.769
with hard riddles. My best friend, James... My best friend
692
00:33:13.829 --> 00:33:16.430
James got a practically impossible riddle.
693
00:33:16.829 --> 00:33:17.730
It's time that.
694
00:33:17.630 --> 00:33:23.619
This stops once and for all. Fellow squirrels, come together.
695
00:33:23.990 --> 00:33:27.819
We have to band together to stop these talking pumpkin menaces.
696
00:33:28.440 --> 00:33:32.279
So that night we told those pumpkins, enough is enough.
697
00:33:32.579 --> 00:33:35.259
We're so tired of these hard riddles. We're so tired
698
00:33:35.299 --> 00:33:37.700
of us being mad at us. So tired of you
699
00:33:37.759 --> 00:33:40.849
mocking us and so tired of you frustrating all the squirrels.
700
00:33:41.410 --> 00:33:45.789
Can't we be friends? Instead of you annoying us all
701
00:33:45.849 --> 00:33:49.710
day and all night, let us think about it, the
702
00:33:49.750 --> 00:33:55.789
pumpkins told us. Think about it. Oh, how annoyed I am.
703
00:33:55.809 --> 00:34:00.869
I am Ava the squirrel, and I disagree with talking pumpkins.
704
00:34:01.990 --> 00:34:05.839
The very next day, the pumpkins said, we thought about
705
00:34:05.940 --> 00:34:15.760
it and decided, sure, the end. I mean, I mean.
706
00:34:15.780 --> 00:34:21.340
You really gave Ava the squirrel some life in that performance.
707
00:34:21.940 --> 00:34:26.039
I love any monologue that starts with a character like
708
00:34:26.159 --> 00:34:31.199
muttering to themselves and then noticing and addressing the audience.
709
00:34:31.639 --> 00:34:31.860
Yes.
710
00:34:31.920 --> 00:34:33.599
It's very Shakespearean, actually, isn't it?
711
00:34:33.610 --> 00:34:34.090
It's like Richard III.
712
00:34:34.110 --> 00:34:35.420
Oh, yes. Yes.
713
00:34:36.840 --> 00:34:41.409
I also like that humans are, and rightfully so, given
714
00:34:41.449 --> 00:34:44.309
that it was a jack-o'-lantern gone awry and left out
715
00:34:44.369 --> 00:34:47.349
too long. So they do deserve some of the blame.
716
00:34:47.570 --> 00:34:51.139
But at the time, you're just like, wait, what? And
717
00:34:51.300 --> 00:34:54.820
I love that about it. Like, what did the humans do?
718
00:34:55.820 --> 00:34:59.010
My favorite scene, actually, is the image of the humans
719
00:34:59.110 --> 00:35:01.789
with a talking jack-o'-lantern going, what do we do?
720
00:35:02.010 --> 00:35:03.369
Let's complain to the store.
721
00:35:03.389 --> 00:35:06.389
So they come in with their jack-o'-lantern like, excuse me.
722
00:35:06.489 --> 00:35:07.340
And then, whoa!
723
00:35:07.469 --> 00:35:08.739
And then it gets away from them.
724
00:35:08.820 --> 00:35:09.059
Yeah.
725
00:35:09.239 --> 00:35:10.639
And starts a mob of pumpkins.
726
00:35:10.659 --> 00:35:13.199
So my other, obviously my other really favorite part of
727
00:35:13.239 --> 00:35:17.039
this story is that the humans are are using, or
728
00:35:17.760 --> 00:35:21.250
the pumpkins are using really hard riddles to annoy.
729
00:35:21.610 --> 00:35:23.510
Out of nowhere. Out of nowhere.
730
00:35:23.909 --> 00:35:28.130
Which, honestly, I relate. There's always like that guy who's like,
731
00:35:28.230 --> 00:35:30.510
I'm a riddle guy. I got lots of riddles for you.
732
00:35:30.949 --> 00:35:33.929
And I'm like, one riddle's great, but they're so hard,
733
00:35:33.969 --> 00:35:36.579
I'm never going to get them. Because they're built to
734
00:35:36.619 --> 00:35:37.380
not be gotten.
735
00:35:37.820 --> 00:35:38.420
The way it's written.
736
00:35:38.639 --> 00:35:41.019
They made us miserable with hard riddles.
737
00:35:41.340 --> 00:35:44.480
My best friend James got a practically impossible riddle.
738
00:35:45.010 --> 00:35:48.449
Well, speaking of practically impossible riddles, I do have a
739
00:35:48.510 --> 00:35:49.489
riddle for you two.
740
00:35:49.829 --> 00:35:50.309
Oh, boy.
741
00:35:50.369 --> 00:35:51.110
Okay.
742
00:35:51.150 --> 00:35:53.150
I want to see if you guys can figure out.
743
00:35:53.230 --> 00:35:53.469
All right.
744
00:35:53.510 --> 00:35:53.889
Okay.
745
00:35:53.969 --> 00:35:55.170
Are you ready? I'm ready.
746
00:35:56.909 --> 00:36:01.610
I'm in a corner twice. I'm in a room once.
747
00:36:02.440 --> 00:36:07.119
I'm not in a house at all, but I'm in
748
00:36:07.159 --> 00:36:10.010
a shelter once. What am I?
749
00:36:10.750 --> 00:36:12.269
I'm in a corner twice. Twice.
750
00:36:12.469 --> 00:36:17.309
Corner twice. Room once. Room once. No house. Not in
751
00:36:17.389 --> 00:36:19.929
a house. Shelter once.
752
00:36:20.570 --> 00:36:21.030
Shelter.
753
00:36:21.889 --> 00:36:24.909
Corner like a street corner? I'm thinking room, but maybe
754
00:36:24.929 --> 00:36:28.280
it's a different kind of corner. So what's on a street?
755
00:36:28.389 --> 00:36:31.639
Two roads? Not in a shelter.
756
00:36:31.659 --> 00:36:32.920
Uh-oh.
757
00:36:33.139 --> 00:36:35.500
Is this an evil, impossible pumpkin riddle?
758
00:36:35.840 --> 00:36:36.519
Do you guys want a hint?
759
00:36:37.420 --> 00:36:37.619
Yeah.
760
00:36:38.460 --> 00:36:39.539
Think more literally.
761
00:36:39.559 --> 00:36:39.780
Literally.
762
00:36:40.380 --> 00:36:43.280
I'm in a corner. R. You got it.
763
00:36:43.760 --> 00:36:44.619
The letter R.
764
00:36:44.639 --> 00:36:45.610
That's good.
765
00:36:45.619 --> 00:36:46.949
But that was with a hint.
766
00:36:46.969 --> 00:36:47.170
Okay.
767
00:36:47.230 --> 00:36:48.510
Let's get to our final story.
768
00:36:54.130 --> 00:36:59.300
And this one is a dialogue of sorts. And I
769
00:36:59.320 --> 00:37:02.380
was wondering if I could distribute roles to the three
770
00:37:02.420 --> 00:37:03.880
of us and we could read it together.
771
00:37:03.900 --> 00:37:04.780
Great.
772
00:37:05.000 --> 00:37:06.719
Can you pin the cast list on the board?
773
00:37:07.559 --> 00:37:07.820
Yes.
774
00:37:08.500 --> 00:37:12.219
No guarantee you're going to get the lead, though, Peter. So, Allison,
775
00:37:12.239 --> 00:37:13.139
would you read Wilbert?
776
00:37:13.500 --> 00:37:13.739
Yes.
777
00:37:14.360 --> 00:37:18.550
I'm going to read Mom and Teacher. And then, Peter,
778
00:37:18.590 --> 00:37:22.550
would you read Bob, Random Student, Narrator, and Genie?
779
00:37:23.539 --> 00:37:25.139
Yes, I'll remember all of those.
780
00:37:26.030 --> 00:37:29.510
Okay, this final story is from an eight-year-old in Tennessee
781
00:37:29.619 --> 00:37:33.889
named John. And John's story is called The Banana Touch.
782
00:37:34.650 --> 00:37:36.030
I'll also read the stage directions.
783
00:37:36.170 --> 00:37:36.670
Okay.
784
00:37:37.650 --> 00:37:41.250
Alarm clock rings. Honey, wake up for breakfast. The bus
785
00:37:41.309 --> 00:37:43.750
will be here any second. Coming, Mom.
786
00:37:43.769 --> 00:37:46.949
Uh-oh, the bus is already here. I better go.
787
00:37:47.130 --> 00:37:48.829
Bye, Mom. Scene change.
788
00:37:48.969 --> 00:37:50.130
Wilbert at school.
789
00:37:51.050 --> 00:37:51.809
Hi, Wilbert.
790
00:37:52.329 --> 00:37:53.070
Hi, Bob.
791
00:37:53.800 --> 00:37:55.800
Today we are learning science.
792
00:37:56.920 --> 00:37:58.900
Um, we're in kindergarten.
793
00:37:58.920 --> 00:38:00.079
Scene change.
794
00:38:00.239 --> 00:38:00.960
End of school.
795
00:38:02.079 --> 00:38:05.230
Wow, that was a long school day.
796
00:38:05.889 --> 00:38:09.130
Hey, spot something on the ground.
797
00:38:10.250 --> 00:38:10.989
What's this?
798
00:38:12.610 --> 00:38:13.769
Ooh, a ring.
799
00:38:14.210 --> 00:38:16.139
I'll put this in my ring collection.
800
00:38:16.400 --> 00:38:17.820
Later that day at home.
801
00:38:18.539 --> 00:38:21.139
Mom, check out this ring that I found.
802
00:38:21.500 --> 00:38:24.099
Oh, Wilbert, throw that in the trash can.
803
00:38:24.679 --> 00:38:25.519
Why, Mom?
804
00:38:25.889 --> 00:38:28.070
Because the banana gods have chosen you.
805
00:38:29.150 --> 00:38:32.030
Don't worry. It's not like you are going to turn
806
00:38:32.070 --> 00:38:33.909
into a banana or something.
807
00:38:34.349 --> 00:38:37.260
Wilbert slides on the ring and touches his mom.
808
00:38:37.840 --> 00:38:38.639
Oh no!
809
00:38:39.159 --> 00:38:41.460
My mom did turn into a banana!
810
00:38:41.639 --> 00:38:44.900
Then Wilbert remembered that he had a magic lamp in
811
00:38:44.940 --> 00:38:47.480
the closet. So he ran to the closet and he
812
00:38:47.559 --> 00:38:50.559
rubs the lamp so hard that a genie comes out
813
00:38:50.659 --> 00:38:51.539
and says, You.
814
00:38:53.039 --> 00:38:54.280
Only have one wish!
815
00:38:54.860 --> 00:38:57.179
Or if you need one more, you'll have to give
816
00:38:57.219 --> 00:39:01.829
me a million dollars! So the boy went to the store,
817
00:39:02.050 --> 00:39:05.380
he found one million dollars for a penny, and ran
818
00:39:05.460 --> 00:39:07.940
back to the genie and gave him a million dollars,
819
00:39:08.239 --> 00:39:09.780
and he gave him another wish.
820
00:39:09.800 --> 00:39:10.119
Yes!
821
00:39:13.719 --> 00:39:17.860
Genie, my two wishes are my mom being a human again,
822
00:39:18.059 --> 00:39:22.019
not a banana, and me not having a spell on me.
823
00:39:22.880 --> 00:39:26.949
Of course! Wooshing sound, and mom banana turns back into
824
00:39:26.989 --> 00:39:27.449
a human.
825
00:39:27.469 --> 00:39:29.929
Oh, mom! Then?
826
00:39:30.340 --> 00:39:31.760
He hugged his mom.
827
00:39:32.699 --> 00:39:35.380
Oh, no. Not again.
828
00:39:35.400 --> 00:39:37.340
His mom turned into a banana.
829
00:39:37.360 --> 00:39:37.519
Again.
830
00:39:37.539 --> 00:39:37.750
The end.
831
00:39:41.829 --> 00:39:42.630
Wow.
832
00:39:43.090 --> 00:39:45.409
I'll say the detail I love the most is that
833
00:39:45.429 --> 00:39:48.789
this narrator, who doesn't show up until late in the story,
834
00:39:49.090 --> 00:39:53.170
the narrator, who should be impartial, is just saying he
835
00:39:53.210 --> 00:39:56.880
went to the store, he got a million dollars, and
836
00:39:56.920 --> 00:39:57.320
then he.
837
00:39:57.260 --> 00:39:59.900
Gave the genie a million dollars and he gave him
838
00:39:59.940 --> 00:40:05.619
another wish. And then the narrator says, yes! With four S's.
839
00:40:05.940 --> 00:40:06.760
He's invested.
840
00:40:06.800 --> 00:40:07.179
Yes.
841
00:40:07.360 --> 00:40:08.800
He's rooting for Wilbert.
842
00:40:09.039 --> 00:40:11.679
I think if Story Pirates has taught our audience anything,
843
00:40:11.739 --> 00:40:15.219
it's that a narrator who's invested in the story is
844
00:40:15.280 --> 00:40:17.039
more interesting than a narrator who's not.
845
00:40:17.159 --> 00:40:17.360
Yeah.
846
00:40:17.820 --> 00:40:22.460
I will say I also like the slight shift in
847
00:40:22.659 --> 00:40:27.989
typical genie lore. We're used to three wishes. You know,
848
00:40:28.349 --> 00:40:33.300
that's the typical story. But one wish, unless the genie
849
00:40:33.340 --> 00:40:34.199
gets a bribe.
850
00:40:38.409 --> 00:40:39.849
All right.
851
00:40:39.909 --> 00:40:43.550
Before we move on. No, I'm going back to this.
852
00:40:43.769 --> 00:40:48.030
I'm just realizing how funny a sketch is. The day
853
00:40:48.090 --> 00:40:48.880
at school was?
854
00:40:49.380 --> 00:40:49.590
Yeah.
855
00:40:49.610 --> 00:40:52.019
Because I was distracted by the characters, but it's just
856
00:40:52.159 --> 00:40:52.599
at school.
857
00:40:52.780 --> 00:40:53.380
Hi, Wilbert.
858
00:40:53.460 --> 00:40:53.940
Hi, Bob.
859
00:40:54.039 --> 00:40:55.320
Today we are learning science.
860
00:40:55.559 --> 00:40:56.840
We're in kindergarten.
861
00:40:57.340 --> 00:40:58.599
Cut to the end of the day. Yeah.
862
00:40:58.619 --> 00:40:59.500
That's really funny.
863
00:40:59.860 --> 00:41:00.059
Yeah.
864
00:41:00.519 --> 00:41:02.500
The way that you read it originally, I liked too,
865
00:41:02.539 --> 00:41:05.159
because it was more of like, it was less outrage
866
00:41:05.639 --> 00:41:09.079
and more like a question. We're in kindergarten?
867
00:41:09.219 --> 00:41:11.019
Sir, we're in kindergarten?
868
00:41:11.039 --> 00:41:16.570
Yeah, I was like, can you believe this guy? Allison,
869
00:41:16.610 --> 00:41:18.489
thank you so much for being here today with us.
870
00:41:19.010 --> 00:41:19.639
Thank you.
871
00:41:20.260 --> 00:41:23.179
And to read all of today's Story Love stories yourself,
872
00:41:23.559 --> 00:41:29.289
just head to storypirates.com. And guess what, grown-ups? You can
873
00:41:29.369 --> 00:41:33.030
find an even longer version of today's Story Love on YouTube.
874
00:41:33.869 --> 00:41:36.190
And grownups, Story Love isn't just the name of a
875
00:41:36.230 --> 00:41:38.750
segment on our show. It's also the name of our
876
00:41:38.789 --> 00:41:43.030
incredible corporate volunteer program. To find out more about Story Love,
877
00:41:43.429 --> 00:41:48.489
our digital creative writing program, Story Quest, or our nonprofit arm,
878
00:41:48.530 --> 00:41:59.239
Story Pirates Changemakers, check the show notes for links. That's
879
00:41:59.320 --> 00:42:03.559
it for today's episode. Thanks to today's authors, Bentley and Mallory.
880
00:42:03.860 --> 00:42:06.920
And a huge thanks to all of you for joining
881
00:42:07.019 --> 00:42:09.980
us for season eight of the Story Pirates podcast. And
882
00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:13.360
guess what? You can still send us your stories and
883
00:42:13.639 --> 00:42:18.079
we respond to every single story we receive. So grownups,
884
00:42:18.420 --> 00:42:20.900
your link to submit stories is in the show notes
885
00:42:20.960 --> 00:42:24.039
for today's episode. We'll be back next week with another
886
00:42:24.079 --> 00:42:29.860
brand new episode. Until then, stay creative and stay kind. Bye!
887
00:42:33.380 --> 00:42:36.880
The Story Pirates Podcast is a production of Story Pirates Studios.
888
00:42:37.429 --> 00:42:41.429
Executive produced by Lee Overtree and Benjamin Salka. This episode
889
00:42:41.469 --> 00:42:44.889
was produced by Sam Baer, Peter McNerney, Andrew Miller, and
890
00:42:44.969 --> 00:42:48.510
Lee Overtree. Recording, sound design, and mixing by Sam Baer
891
00:42:48.530 --> 00:42:51.630
at The Relic Room in New York City. Additional production
892
00:42:51.690 --> 00:42:55.670
by Brett Toobin. Theme song by Bobby Lord. Musical scoring
893
00:42:55.730 --> 00:42:58.730
by Eric Gerson and Jack Mitchell. Our head writer is
894
00:42:58.829 --> 00:43:02.519
Peter McNerney. Staff writers are Megan O'Neill and Alexis Simpson
895
00:43:03.000 --> 00:43:07.389
and contributing writing by Lee Overtree. Episode artwork by Camilla Franklin.
896
00:43:08.070 --> 00:43:19.440
Special guest, Allison Pill. This episode features performances by P.J. Asima,
897
00:43:19.579 --> 00:43:24.090
Eric Austin, Andrew Barbato, Colin Batten, Langston Darby, Sasha Diamond,
898
00:43:24.260 --> 00:43:29.130
Tara Halpern, Quinton Johnson, Vanessa Magula, Peter McNerney, Josh Nassar,
899
00:43:29.329 --> 00:43:33.889
Megan O'Neill, Lee Overtree, Peter Russo, Julia Schroeder, Kristen Studdard,
900
00:43:34.110 --> 00:43:37.659
Rachel Winitsky, and Niminy Ware. The Bed was written and
901
00:43:37.699 --> 00:43:41.599
produced by Jack Mitchell. Special thanks to Lauren Alankovsky.
902
00:43:46.030 --> 00:43:46.719
Where's a bed?
903
00:43:46.889 --> 00:43:48.239
A bed for Leovertree!
904
00:43:48.260 --> 00:43:48.940
Find a bed!
905
00:43:49.059 --> 00:43:50.420
A bed for Leovertree!
906
00:43:50.480 --> 00:43:56.800
Where's a bed? A bed for Leovertree! Leovertree's sleepy! It's true,
907
00:43:56.880 --> 00:44:01.500
I'm basically always sleepy. But luckily, I can sleep anywhere.
908
00:44:01.519 --> 00:44:02.179
Hey look!
909
00:44:02.500 --> 00:44:05.360
A giant pile of mashed potatoes! The perfect place for
910
00:44:05.400 --> 00:44:08.059
a nap! I'll just lie down here.
911
00:44:11.429 --> 00:44:11.989
Perfect.