WHEN BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO THOSE YOU LOVE
Stephen Bly
Circa 1990
As if she didn’t have enough bad things happen. Years of wealth and luxury, but now she had only the dress on her back. A reputation and status of being one of the country’s leading ladies, however now she roamed arb age dumps for a meal. Her large, healthy family had been the pride of her life, but now childless.
And her healthy, vibrant, dynamic husband turned into a pitiful, broken down, sore infested old man. More than enough for any gal to handle. On top of that, her husband was a religious fanatic who sat around wondering what God tried to tell him through all this. He popped up with quotes like this.
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I shall return there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21).
What do you do when bad things happen to your mate? Here’s what Mrs. Job said: “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!” (Job 2:9)
What should we do when bad things happen to those we love?
SEVEN REASONS BAD THINGS HAPPEN
1. Sometimes they come by divine appointment.
Job faced the outcome of spiritual warfare. That conflict continues in our day. The casualties of that battle can spill over into our daily lives.
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12)
At times, the divinely appointed circumstances that bring bad times teach us spiritual lessons. Like when God appointed a worm for Jonah (Jonah 4). Or Paul eventually learning that his personal thorn in the flesh had been sent by a messenger of Satan and meant to keep him humble (2 Corinthians 12:7).
There’s a sense in which every bad event is ruled over by God, since He reigns sovereign over all things. But when we seek, we can discover several more immediate causes.
NATURAL CATASTROPHES
2. Sometimes bad things happen through natural catastrophes.
The earth quakes, volcanoes erupt, waves pound, fires jump creeks, bridges collapse, plagues surge across a nation. We do not live in a perfectly safe world. However, it used to be perfect.
“And God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good” (Genesis 1:31).
Rebellion against God caused the world’s present upheaval. But our planet will not stay in this condition forever. The creation will one day be set free from catastrophe. (Romans 8:19-22). When that day comes, nature will vastly change.
“The mountains and the hills will break forth into shouts of joy before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Instead of the thorn bush the cypress will come up; instead of the nettle the myrtle will come up; and it will be a memorial to the Lord, for an everlasting sign which will not be cut off” (Isaiah 55:12, 13).
But that hasn’t come yet! So, we look for explanations. The religious folks in Jesus’ day held a simple set of solutions. If bad things happened, the victim had sinned. Even natural disasters proved certain individuals needed punishment. Jesus wouldn’t let them hang on to this view of God.
“Or do you suppose that those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them were worse culprits than all the men who live in Jerusalem? I tell you, no, but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish” (Luke 13:4,5).
Jesus said clearly that all have sinned. If God used natural disasters to eradicate sin, who would be left? He did that once and only eight survived the flood on Noah’s ark. The tower in Siloam fell as one of the many tragedies possible in a sin-tainted world.
THE WORLD’S SYSTEM
3. Sometimes bad things happen because of worldly tribulation.
The tenor of society, the flow of civilization, the dominating ideas of the world’s system oppose God’s plan for His people. The collision of the wills of truth and lies produce tragic consequences.
Jesus said, “These things I have spoken to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation but take courage; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).
For instance, John the Baptist did God’s will and landed in jail, then lost his head.
Make a stand for good. March to support a biblical position. Protest for what you believe is right. You’ll always find fervent, sometimes vicious opponents. This world produces much tribulation.
FOOLISHNESS, GREED, AND BLOWING IT
4. Sometimes bad things happen because of foolish actions.
An example: King Hezekiah caused the suffering devastation of Babylonian plunder for a future generation by his lack of discretion and wisdom (2 Kings 20).
5. Sometimes bad things come because people give Satan an entry.
Judas had a problem with greed, which led to betraying Jesus. Greed so controlled Judas that he actually gave Satan direct control of his life.
“And Satan entered into Judas who was called Iscariot, belonging to the number of the twelve” (Luke 22).
The lust for more begins with small temptations, such as a few dollars or coins missing. A wink, a casual touch, or a pornographic film can start the fall rolling. But it won’t stop there. Private desire unchecked can lead to addiction or surrender of the will to Satan.
6. Sometimes bad things result from personal sin.
The man near the pool of Bethesda in Jerusalem had a crippling disease for thirty-eight years. Jesus healed him, then presented a challenge: “Behold, you have become well; do not sin anymore, so that nothing worse may befall you” (John 5:14). Sin has consequences.
Paul warned: “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap” (Galatians 6:7).
An alcoholic ruins his liver. A prostitute suffers from a venereal disease. Habitual gamblers face bankruptcy. Some bad times endured come from the admission, “I have sinned.”
BEING A WITNESS
7. Bad things sometimes happen when talking about Jesus.
Peter and John received a stern warning. Then they flogged them when they disobeyed.
“We gave you strict orders not to continue teaching in this name, and behold, you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and intend to bring this man’s blood upon us” (Acts 5:28,40).
Making a public stand for Jesus did not make life easier for His early disciples. It still doesn’t. But they determined to keep preaching when the bad times rolled.
Bad times happen. That’s the kind of world we live in.
Remember, you can’t always tell which of the seven you’re experiencing. And seldom, if ever, can you tell which of the seven others experience. However, how you respond might be more important than why did it happen.
WHAT TO DO WHEN THOSE YOU LOVE FACE BAD TIMES
First, stand by them.
“There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).
Bad times can make introverts out of outgoing personalities. It’s easy to feel resentful. More than ever, they need someone on their side. Even if the difficulty resulted from their own foolish actions, if possible, stay with them. For a spouse, this is part of the “worse” pledged at the altar.
Second, practice being a kind listener.
“But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger,” James advises (1:19).
A horrible example of what not to do: Job’s friends. There’s a time to talk, and a time to listen. At the point when the weight of their bad times seems about to crush them, just listen … with your ears, your heart, and your mind. Grasp all their words, what they imply, and discern what lies hidden within. Plan long lunches, late nights, early mornings. Turn off the TV. Put down the book. Cancel the golf game and give them your full attention.
Third, continue to show love.
“A friend loves at all times” (Proverbs 17:17).
Love them when they’ve failed. Demonstrate love no matter how enormous the difficulty ahead might be. Even when others think they know all about who’s at fault, greet them in public with an open hug. Do those loving actions you know will mean the most to them.
Fourth, seek God’s counsel together.
“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good” (Genesis 50:20).
The Lord majors in thwarting evil by accomplishing His ultimate purposes, in spite of it, and through it. No matter the cause or how serious the failure, He’s able to turn it around. But the happy ending to the story comes for those who seek His help and guidance.
If your loved one is too overwhelmed by this bad time, sit or stand or kneel alongside them. You do the praying. Remind them they can’t survive these tough challenges without God’s help.
MORE SUGGESTED ACTIONS FOR BAD TIMES
Fifth, help them face responsibility.
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6).
Show them, beyond doubt, you’re on their side. Then allow them, when they’re ready, to admit personal failure. Sometimes friends must provoke corrections. That can hurt. But it’s like the pain of the antiseptic in an injury. After the pain comes healing. Even so, effective correction requires special sensitivity.
“Restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, lest you too be tempted” (Galatians 6:1).
Some circumstances are so unbearable that it may require weeks, months, years to confess the whole story. Don’t take them off the hook, but allow them to work at their own pace.
Sixth, review with them God’s past faithfulness, provisions, and blessings.
Not everything has been bad. There were good days and maybe years. Some things have gone right. Enjoy the loving memories and wonderful surprises, and re-live special events.
The writer of Psalm 73 suffered this same temporary short-sightedness. He plodded through some difficulties, while the ungodly around him seemed to take life easy. “Unfair!” he cried.
“When I pondered to understand this, it was troublesome in my sight, until I came into the sanctuary of God. Then I perceived their end” (Psalm 73:16,17).
When he grasped the long-range view of life, his heart and mind quieted in understanding. For your loved ones, help them remember the same God who provided blessings in the past can be counted on now too.
Seventh, chart together new goals and dreams.
Unexpected situations may crush certain plans made. A severely injured leg means she’ll never play tennis again. Getting fired from the job prevents becoming executive vice-president. A devastating loss of income eliminates owning the house on the hill. But there are other goals and dreams to follow. Even spiritually motivated projects can be taken from us. Look for new opportunities.
GIVE GOD TIME
Eighth, allow God time to work His best result.
One thing common to us all concerning bad times: we want them over in a hurry. If there’s a lesson to be learned, “Let me figure it out fast,” we say. But some things take time to assess.
God told Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
But that insight surfaced only after much pleading, praying, and questioning on Paul’s part. A tough lesson for someone in constant pain. Many of life’s worst times have no easy quick-fix solutions or explanations.
ROD’S BAD TIMES STORY
Our friend, Rod, owned a nice western wear store a few miles down the road from the city. Kind of a “mom and pop” operation, he employed a couple longtime employees. Then Rod got a chance to move up to the big time. A huge shopping center opened downtown in the high rent district. A businessman Rod knew for years wanted him to partner a new store in the mall.
Rod jumped at the chance. After all, the kids were in high school and soon they’d owe college bills, weddings, and all that. After several delays and countless trips to the bankers, attorneys, and accountants, they signed a wagon load of documents.
After a rush in sales in the first two weeks, the business began to flounder. Rod soon ran out of clientele interested in boots and cowboy hats. But the daily stress of overhead and inventory remained as his partner continued to wheel and deal. He secured another sizable loan from the bank, and assured Rod the Christmas season would get them in the black.
When that didn’t happen, Rod’s partner decided to live in the south Pacific supported by most of the bank loan. A few months later the new store folded. And Rod’s original store and spacious five-bedroom ranch house were taken over by the lending institution.
Devastated, Rod blamed himself. “I was too greedy for gain to investigate this guy more,” he admitted. Now, Rod, Nancy, and the kids live in an apartment as he works as a clerk for a hardware store. Nancy keeps books for an insurance company. If their oldest finds a part-time job, he’ll attend the local community junior college.
For those who watched them from a distance, a glowing inspiration remains out of it all. Nancy lets everyone know she still thinks Rod is the greatest guy on earth. She initiates social activities with their friends and tags along with him as they bounce from attorneys to courtrooms to criminal investigations. She’s by his side at basketball games, church meetings, and at the supermarket. Rod may have lost most everything else in the world, but he still has his best friend.
CONCLUSION
Bad times will come. But no one should face them alone. The message of the incarnation is Emmanuel, God is with us! Remember Jesus’ words, “In the world you have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world!”
Hallelujah! Amen & Amen.
Stephen Bly
Circa 1990
As if she didn’t have enough bad things happen. Years of wealth and luxury, but now she had only the dress on her back. A reputation and status of being one of the country’s leading ladies, however now she roamed arb age dumps for a meal. Her large, healthy family had been the pride of her life, but now childless.
And her healthy, vibrant, dynamic husband turned into a pitiful, broken down, sore infested old man. More than enough for any gal to handle. On top of that, her husband was a religious fanatic who sat around wondering what God tried to tell him through all this. He popped up with quotes like this.
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I shall return there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21).
What do you do when bad things happen to your mate? Here’s what Mrs. Job said: “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!” (Job 2:9)
What should we do when bad things happen to those we love?
SEVEN REASONS BAD THINGS HAPPEN
1. Sometimes they come by divine appointment.
Job faced the outcome of spiritual warfare. That conflict continues in our day. The casualties of that battle can spill over into our daily lives.
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12)
At times, the divinely appointed circumstances that bring bad times teach us spiritual lessons. Like when God appointed a worm for Jonah (Jonah 4). Or Paul eventually learning that his personal thorn in the flesh had been sent by a messenger of Satan and meant to keep him humble (2 Corinthians 12:7).
There’s a sense in which every bad event is ruled over by God, since He reigns sovereign over all things. But when we seek, we can discover several more immediate causes.
NATURAL CATASTROPHES
2. Sometimes bad things happen through natural catastrophes.
The earth quakes, volcanoes erupt, waves pound, fires jump creeks, bridges collapse, plagues surge across a nation. We do not live in a perfectly safe world. However, it used to be perfect.
“And God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good” (Genesis 1:31).
Rebellion against God caused the world’s present upheaval. But our planet will not stay in this condition forever. The creation will one day be set free from catastrophe. (Romans 8:19-22). When that day comes, nature will vastly change.
“The mountains and the hills will break forth into shouts of joy before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Instead of the thorn bush the cypress will come up; instead of the nettle the myrtle will come up; and it will be a memorial to the Lord, for an everlasting sign which will not be cut off” (Isaiah 55:12, 13).
But that hasn’t come yet! So, we look for explanations. The religious folks in Jesus’ day held a simple set of solutions. If bad things happened, the victim had sinned. Even natural disasters proved certain individuals needed punishment. Jesus wouldn’t let them hang on to this view of God.
“Or do you suppose that those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them were worse culprits than all the men who live in Jerusalem? I tell you, no, but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish” (Luke 13:4,5).
Jesus said clearly that all have sinned. If God used natural disasters to eradicate sin, who would be left? He did that once and only eight survived the flood on Noah’s ark. The tower in Siloam fell as one of the many tragedies possible in a sin-tainted world.
THE WORLD’S SYSTEM
3. Sometimes bad things happen because of worldly tribulation.
The tenor of society, the flow of civilization, the dominating ideas of the world’s system oppose God’s plan for His people. The collision of the wills of truth and lies produce tragic consequences.
Jesus said, “These things I have spoken to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation but take courage; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).
For instance, John the Baptist did God’s will and landed in jail, then lost his head.
Make a stand for good. March to support a biblical position. Protest for what you believe is right. You’ll always find fervent, sometimes vicious opponents. This world produces much tribulation.
FOOLISHNESS, GREED, AND BLOWING IT
4. Sometimes bad things happen because of foolish actions.
An example: King Hezekiah caused the suffering devastation of Babylonian plunder for a future generation by his lack of discretion and wisdom (2 Kings 20).
5. Sometimes bad things come because people give Satan an entry.
Judas had a problem with greed, which led to betraying Jesus. Greed so controlled Judas that he actually gave Satan direct control of his life.
“And Satan entered into Judas who was called Iscariot, belonging to the number of the twelve” (Luke 22).
The lust for more begins with small temptations, such as a few dollars or coins missing. A wink, a casual touch, or a pornographic film can start the fall rolling. But it won’t stop there. Private desire unchecked can lead to addiction or surrender of the will to Satan.
6. Sometimes bad things result from personal sin.
The man near the pool of Bethesda in Jerusalem had a crippling disease for thirty-eight years. Jesus healed him, then presented a challenge: “Behold, you have become well; do not sin anymore, so that nothing worse may befall you” (John 5:14). Sin has consequences.
Paul warned: “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap” (Galatians 6:7).
An alcoholic ruins his liver. A prostitute suffers from a venereal disease. Habitual gamblers face bankruptcy. Some bad times endured come from the admission, “I have sinned.”
BEING A WITNESS
7. Bad things sometimes happen when talking about Jesus.
Peter and John received a stern warning. Then they flogged them when they disobeyed.
“We gave you strict orders not to continue teaching in this name, and behold, you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and intend to bring this man’s blood upon us” (Acts 5:28,40).
Making a public stand for Jesus did not make life easier for His early disciples. It still doesn’t. But they determined to keep preaching when the bad times rolled.
Bad times happen. That’s the kind of world we live in.
Remember, you can’t always tell which of the seven you’re experiencing. And seldom, if ever, can you tell which of the seven others experience. However, how you respond might be more important than why did it happen.
WHAT TO DO WHEN THOSE YOU LOVE FACE BAD TIMES
First, stand by them.
“There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).
Bad times can make introverts out of outgoing personalities. It’s easy to feel resentful. More than ever, they need someone on their side. Even if the difficulty resulted from their own foolish actions, if possible, stay with them. For a spouse, this is part of the “worse” pledged at the altar.
Second, practice being a kind listener.
“But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger,” James advises (1:19).
A horrible example of what not to do: Job’s friends. There’s a time to talk, and a time to listen. At the point when the weight of their bad times seems about to crush them, just listen … with your ears, your heart, and your mind. Grasp all their words, what they imply, and discern what lies hidden within. Plan long lunches, late nights, early mornings. Turn off the TV. Put down the book. Cancel the golf game and give them your full attention.
Third, continue to show love.
“A friend loves at all times” (Proverbs 17:17).
Love them when they’ve failed. Demonstrate love no matter how enormous the difficulty ahead might be. Even when others think they know all about who’s at fault, greet them in public with an open hug. Do those loving actions you know will mean the most to them.
Fourth, seek God’s counsel together.
“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good” (Genesis 50:20).
The Lord majors in thwarting evil by accomplishing His ultimate purposes, in spite of it, and through it. No matter the cause or how serious the failure, He’s able to turn it around. But the happy ending to the story comes for those who seek His help and guidance.
If your loved one is too overwhelmed by this bad time, sit or stand or kneel alongside them. You do the praying. Remind them they can’t survive these tough challenges without God’s help.
MORE SUGGESTED ACTIONS FOR BAD TIMES
Fifth, help them face responsibility.
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6).
Show them, beyond doubt, you’re on their side. Then allow them, when they’re ready, to admit personal failure. Sometimes friends must provoke corrections. That can hurt. But it’s like the pain of the antiseptic in an injury. After the pain comes healing. Even so, effective correction requires special sensitivity.
“Restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, lest you too be tempted” (Galatians 6:1).
Some circumstances are so unbearable that it may require weeks, months, years to confess the whole story. Don’t take them off the hook, but allow them to work at their own pace.
Sixth, review with them God’s past faithfulness, provisions, and blessings.
Not everything has been bad. There were good days and maybe years. Some things have gone right. Enjoy the loving memories and wonderful surprises, and re-live special events.
The writer of Psalm 73 suffered this same temporary short-sightedness. He plodded through some difficulties, while the ungodly around him seemed to take life easy. “Unfair!” he cried.
“When I pondered to understand this, it was troublesome in my sight, until I came into the sanctuary of God. Then I perceived their end” (Psalm 73:16,17).
When he grasped the long-range view of life, his heart and mind quieted in understanding. For your loved ones, help them remember the same God who provided blessings in the past can be counted on now too.
Seventh, chart together new goals and dreams.
Unexpected situations may crush certain plans made. A severely injured leg means she’ll never play tennis again. Getting fired from the job prevents becoming executive vice-president. A devastating loss of income eliminates owning the house on the hill. But there are other goals and dreams to follow. Even spiritually motivated projects can be taken from us. Look for new opportunities.
GIVE GOD TIME
Eighth, allow God time to work His best result.
One thing common to us all concerning bad times: we want them over in a hurry. If there’s a lesson to be learned, “Let me figure it out fast,” we say. But some things take time to assess.
God told Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
But that insight surfaced only after much pleading, praying, and questioning on Paul’s part. A tough lesson for someone in constant pain. Many of life’s worst times have no easy quick-fix solutions or explanations.
ROD’S BAD TIMES STORY
Our friend, Rod, owned a nice western wear store a few miles down the road from the city. Kind of a “mom and pop” operation, he employed a couple longtime employees. Then Rod got a chance to move up to the big time. A huge shopping center opened downtown in the high rent district. A businessman Rod knew for years wanted him to partner a new store in the mall.
Rod jumped at the chance. After all, the kids were in high school and soon they’d owe college bills, weddings, and all that. After several delays and countless trips to the bankers, attorneys, and accountants, they signed a wagon load of documents.
After a rush in sales in the first two weeks, the business began to flounder. Rod soon ran out of clientele interested in boots and cowboy hats. But the daily stress of overhead and inventory remained as his partner continued to wheel and deal. He secured another sizable loan from the bank, and assured Rod the Christmas season would get them in the black.
When that didn’t happen, Rod’s partner decided to live in the south Pacific supported by most of the bank loan. A few months later the new store folded. And Rod’s original store and spacious five-bedroom ranch house were taken over by the lending institution.
Devastated, Rod blamed himself. “I was too greedy for gain to investigate this guy more,” he admitted. Now, Rod, Nancy, and the kids live in an apartment as he works as a clerk for a hardware store. Nancy keeps books for an insurance company. If their oldest finds a part-time job, he’ll attend the local community junior college.
For those who watched them from a distance, a glowing inspiration remains out of it all. Nancy lets everyone know she still thinks Rod is the greatest guy on earth. She initiates social activities with their friends and tags along with him as they bounce from attorneys to courtrooms to criminal investigations. She’s by his side at basketball games, church meetings, and at the supermarket. Rod may have lost most everything else in the world, but he still has his best friend.
CONCLUSION
Bad times will come. But no one should face them alone. The message of the incarnation is Emmanuel, God is with us! Remember Jesus’ words, “In the world you have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world!”
Hallelujah! Amen & Amen.
