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Do you feel overwhelmed by clutter when you walk through the door?
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Are you tired all the time and stuck just getting by?
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With each day being a carbon copy of the next and no time or space for yourself?
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Hi, I'm Sarah, and I was you, so I understand.
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You're a busy mom, whether at home or working full-time, feeling like you're in survival mode.
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There isn't time for more because you're just putting out fires, overwhelmed by all this stuff, and aching for something more.
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That's what the Simple Intentional Podcast is here for: to support you.
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Whether it's to clear clutter, ditch the overwhelm, and create ease and simplicity, figure out how to be more intentional in your life, or inspire you into action.
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Each week I'll share things like practical and actionable tips you can start using immediately to start living more intentionally and create your life, as well as interviews with people that will inspire and educate you.
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I'm a full-time working mom, wife, and lover of all things simple.
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After a stage four cancer diagnosis in 2014, I started on a path to change how I was living.
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And I'm sharing with you everything that has helped me move from a stressed-out, people-pleasing perfectionist to calm, in control, and feeling like the best version of myself.
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So grab your earbuds, a cup of tea, and join me to start making powerful shifts in your life today.
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This is about so much more than stuff.
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Hello and welcome back to the Simple and Intentional Podcast.
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You have probably heard me say this a million times, but our environment has a huge impact on us and is often unknowingly shaping your life.
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You want to exercise, but it's a struggle to roll out your mat because of all the clutter, so you don't.
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You would love to cook more nourishing meals, but your counters are always covered, so you default to quick and easy convenience meals.
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You would love to get better sleep, but your room feels overwhelming and the opposite of peaceful.
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Each one of these goals hits friction from your space and increases the friction of starting something new.
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However, the exciting thing is that you can change it.
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My guest this week, Kim Costa, is here to talk about how we can become more intentional with our spaces and make decisions that support the you you are becoming and help create the version you dream of.
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Kim is a top 5% Atlanta realtor, author of Live in Your Wheelhouse, and creator of the Wheelhouse Assessment.
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With 30 years of experience across construction, interior design, and real estate, Kim helps women understand how their homes affect their peace, identity, and next chapter.
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Her approach goes beyond buying, selling, or renovating.
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She helps women make intentional home decisions that support who they are becoming and the life they truly want to live.
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Hello, Kim.
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Welcome and thank you for being here.
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Thank you, Sarah.
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I am so excited about our conversation.
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Thank you for having me.
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Yeah, no, I think this will be a really great topic for listeners.
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I know that I think it will be one that a lot can resonate with.
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So I think I wonder if we could just start with you sharing a little bit more about yourself, who you are, and and how did you come to create the wheelhouse assessment and write your book?
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Yes, thank you.
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Um so I um I've been a realtor for uh it'll be my 10th year next year.
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And before that, I was in residential construction and residential interior design.
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But I um I have a background uh educationally in marketing, um, but more importantly, like human resource development and master's work in that.
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And so, and my parents were both human resource um directors.
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And so I always heard that's this job is in their wheelhouse, or this job wasn't in their wheelhouse.
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We had to let them go.
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And so that wheelhouse aspect of something that fits you or doesn't stuck with me from when I was young.
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And because I had such an interest in um interior design and human resources, I started matching people's potential with their home environment potential and how it blocks them or helps them achieve who they want to be in their next chapter.
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Oh, that's so interesting.
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It's so neat how you know our like childhood and our lived experiences, these little nuggets that we take with us, just assimilate shape.
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Yeah.
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Like in how we our perspective and how we think about things.
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And it's so interesting like to have those two things kind of, you know, come on.
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We wouldn't think they went together, but the more um I thought about it with all my background, I was like, there's a pattern, there are definite patterns here.
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And um, I was switching from accounting, which is a crazy story.
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Um, it's in my book if you if you care to know.
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It's like how I reinvented myself.
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And as I did that, I used the wheel of life.
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Okay.
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That's eight different areas that I was adjusting to make my life fit me better.
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Yeah.
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And so I was moving and becoming a realtor, and I started noticing people's changing or wanting to change in these eight different areas.
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And then that's how the assessment came out.
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I used it to help myself, and then I started using it in real estate.
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Oh, cool.
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Yeah, I want to ask you more about that a little bit later, but I think that's a really neat um, you know, just the idea of like when we have a framework to kind of work from and and yeah, it's clarity.
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Yeah.
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And it's not so overwhelming.
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You know, if you have one thing to work on, because I that's what I recommend.
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Don't overwhelm yourself.
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Work on the one work on one thing.
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Yeah, I recommend that too, but I feel like that is actually really the hard part for it is hard.
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Like, but I have five things.
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Okay, well, do do one a month.
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Yeah, I know.
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Like it really is hard to slow yourself down to do that because you like you start to get some ground, and I see it all the time, you know, and people are like, Okay, I'm doing this, and they go like a whole hog into doing a whole bunch of other stuff, and then you know, it kind of then it crumbles and it dilutes the the main thing, yeah, yeah, exactly.
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Um, well, yeah, so you have spent 30 years um in construction, interior design, real estate.
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Um I'm just curious, like what did you see over that time that made you realize that people's homes was, you know, about more than the physical space?
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Yeah.
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Well, I I saw people making decisions based on aesthetics.
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And then it turns out, you know, I'd get a phone call a year or two or three later, and they said, this phone, this home does not fit us.
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And, you know, we we loved it because it had, in this case nowadays, quartz countertops.
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Um, now gray's out, and so like warmer colors are in.
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And we loved the warm feel of it, it's whatever is in at the time without addressing those lower level needs, um, like physicalities of it, like is it close enough to work?
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Uh or something changed.
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I need to get to the airport more often now, and I'm an hour and a half away.
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Yeah.
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Um, you know, my mom is sick and I need to move her in and all those kind of things.
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Yeah.
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And so usually something's changing, but I see people making decisions based on higher level needs without considering, oh gosh, I thought I wanted to live in the city, but the sirens keep me up at night and now it's a physiological problem.
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Right.
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Yeah, that's so interesting because it it's true.
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Like, I think we're, I mean, especially now with Instagram and everything, like we're so drawn to how things look.
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Yes.
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And equating, like, you know, how something looks to us from a distance to how that makes us feel.
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And then making decisions based on that when you're right, like there is definitely something to how you feel, like, of course.
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But are you frustrated or yeah, yeah.
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But then also mixing it with, okay, like I talk a lot about friction and you know those kind of friction points that stop you from doing the things you want to do.
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Yes.
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So I think it's like, yeah, do you really know what you want to do with your space?
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Do you know how you want to live in it?
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And that's like a bigger question.
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It is.
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And it starts with the homeowner or the the the person living in the home.
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And it's, you know, who are you?
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And what are you doing that you don't want to be doing?
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And what are you not doing that you want to be doing?
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Like what is the essential core of you and are you living that life?
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And how can you change your home environment to help you be that person you want to be?
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Yeah.
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And I wonder if there's um like any ways that you've noticed with with people how like their home is either supporting them or working against them.
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Right.
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And like how I don't know, like our home kind of shapes that like our energy, our peace, our identity.
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And we often don't notice it.
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So, like, are there things that come up um about how our home supports us or doesn't that that we may not kind of notice?
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Absolutely.
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It can be unconscious sometimes.
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Um, I've had a client who was just like, I just don't like entertaining in this house.
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It was a very vertical.
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She wanted to see all her guests and walk out to a pool area.
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And so this is a very high-level need of love and belonging, really.
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Yeah, it's really in the middle of Maslow's hierarchy, which is what I've based my needs on.
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Um, and so that's actually a fairly low-level need is love and belonging, and then esteem right above it.
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She wanted to be able to see all her guests and and talk to them and see that everyone was having fun.
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But she had four different levels and some were outside and somewhere in the kitchen.
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And and that was the main thing for her is she wanted to have a walkout pool area, a large gathering space, and a yard where she could have, she could entertain entertainment, which is one of the spokes, was one of the most important areas for her, you know, empty nesters.
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So, like, you know, you've gotten to a place in life where it's like, what do I want to do?
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Well, I want to entertain people.
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I want to, you know, see my friends, I want to bring family back in, kids and grandkids and have space.
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And so her home is um was developed around love, belonging, esteem, and entertaining, not just aesthetics because where she lived was beautiful.
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Yeah.
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Um, so yeah, you have to pinpoint what the pain point is at that stage of life and then try to fix it.
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Yeah.
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Well, and I like, I mean, how you took something that I mean to to some people could look like a superficial need, right?
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Like when you look at that, you could be like, oh, you know, okay, that's not a need.
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But you know, but actually when you go down to the core of it, yes, you're recognizing that, yeah, love and belonging, connection, community, like whatever, you know, at the root of it, it is.
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So then and and she's a giver, so she'll hold the the baby shower, she'll hold the wedding, she she wants to celebrate people.
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And so when you put it that way, it becomes less superficial and more of whatever her gift is.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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And then you can look at your space a little bit differently.
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Like let's say it's not necessarily that you could move or renovate, but that you could then start to look at how you can use your space to um align with those needs and yeah, you know, with the deeper.
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Not only your needs, but what is your gift to so the foundation of this whole assessment is myself, who am I mastery?
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What have I mastered?
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Um that that is a gift of mine.
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Um in her case, it's entertaining, truly, and and an eye for a beautiful environment that people enjoy.
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And so then her mission now is to have people in her home that she celebrates their milestones in their life: a a retirement, a baby shower, a wedding shower, a birthday, Christmas, all the things.
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Um and then the fourth one is mates, the four M's.
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Who do you surround yourself with that see you and support your mission in life and who you are?
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See the real you.
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Yeah.
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So you so maybe we could actually talk a little bit more about that than that, like so.
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You start with the assessment, yeah, looking at what your gifts are.
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Yeah, like who are you?
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For example, I'm a personality theory with part of my human resource development was uh Myers Briggs assessments, and I'm into Enneagram now and the disc and the I mean, I've taken every single one and I'm fascinated.
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But like, are you?
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I wasn't being myself for a very long time.
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I was doing accounting, but I'm a creative extrovert.
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And so that didn't, a lot of things weren't lining up, including my home at the time.
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And so I recognize the person first.
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And even if they don't want to take a personality test, I'm pretty attuned to getting them.
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Are they detail-oriented?
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Are they left-brained?
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Are they, you know, what how do they thrive?
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So it's myself and then mastery.
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So, like, what are they, what are they doing?
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What are they doing with their lives?
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And or what's do they have a hobby even?
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Because sometimes our work is not what our passion is, right?
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Sometimes.
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But are do they have that in their life?
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And then uh on to are are they surrounding themselves for with people who really see them for who they are, whether it be their boss, their spouse, partner, um, friends, are they really being their true selves?
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And sometimes people are going through a reinvention uh midway through life, and they're like, Well, I always loved to paint and now I'm gonna start painting again, or I'm gonna start a podcast.
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Yeah, or I've made enough money, I'm now gonna develop a nonprofit because I care about this.
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Yeah.
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Well, I think I mean, I can just sort of align this with people listening, and I think a lot of them are women and they're, you know, very busy women.
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And I think the truth is a lot of us haven't spent a lot of time thinking about who we are, what our needs are, you know.
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Um, especially, you know, listeners to this podcast have a lot of clutter often, they're dealing with like a heavy mental load.
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You know, the the needs of others are sort of taking precedent um over themselves.
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And it is that sort of that time where you get to where you're interested in living more intentionally.
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Yes.
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Um children are raised, yeah, career is, you know, nearing nearing the end.
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Maybe you're shifting gears a little bit.
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Yeah.
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Or you kind of hit a wall and you're like, you know, I'm is this it?
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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I'm not feeling happy.
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I'm just feeling tired and overwhelmed all the time.
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How do I figure out what I'm interested in?
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Yes, and what lights me up?
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And make a corner, a little, even a little corner somewhere.
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Yeah, you know, where you do your thing, whether it's reading literature, because you loved that when you were younger and it fills you up and it calms you down.
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Maybe you have a stressful job and you're more of an introvert.
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So let's make a little a quiet corner for you.
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Yeah.
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Um, it's about being you in your house.
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And if something is frustrating you, if you're resentful, if you're lonely, tired, scared, whatever it is, let's address that underlying pain point and fix something in your house.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And so I'm curious, like, you know, because you do work with um women who are sort of largely in seasons of change, whether it's like divorce or empty nest or or whatever shift.
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That often like a lot of our homes are set up for sort of past versions of ourselves or not who we're trying to work towards becoming.
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So what are some small shifts or things that people can start to do with their spaces that can help support them a little bit more and that like more intentional path?
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Well, I mean, so first of all, pus push the pause button because many of us are overwhelmed and tired and we've kind of lost track of what it is that we wanted to do and be, even part-time.
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And so push the pause button and recognize that.
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And then somewhere in your home, there's a room or a space or even a drawer that drives you a little nutty.
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Right.
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And so it's cluttered, it's full of old things that you haven't had time to clean out.
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Um, maybe you're not going to tackle the whole room in one day.
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Pick a drawer, pick a shelf, pick a dresser, and just start cleaning stuff out, give it away, hold on to it, put it, you know, make a spart making a space for yourself or somebody else in the family, you know, could be a child who doesn't have room to um practice their instrument.
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And so it's it's in the main part of the house and you need them away in a quieter space away from you doing your thing, whatever that is, just really pause for a moment, walk through your home.
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And if you're passing a room and it uh let's use an example of an empty nester mom.
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The kids are gone, they live elsewhere.
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They the kids now have a room for them to come visit, but they're not coming back very often.
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Yeah.
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So they put you pass the room, it's still their room, and it makes you sad, right?
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Yeah.
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And you're like, well, I need to do something to fill this void.
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And so maybe you're starting a podcast, maybe you're knitting uh beanies for newborn babies, maybe you're, you know, whatever it is that's your passion, uh starting a nonprofit, going back to work, whatever it is, you need to repurpose that room or a portion of that room to fit the new part of you, the new stage of your life.
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Um, and this doesn't mean that you're not still going to be the best mom and also now the best grandma, but maybe you're also going to be the podcaster who talks about gardening or, you know, uh taking up a hobby to help, you know, to help little babies or whatever your passion is.
00:18:14.319 --> 00:18:17.759
Like I miss my babies, I'll go volunteer and hold the little babies.
00:18:17.920 --> 00:18:18.160
Yeah.
00:18:18.400 --> 00:18:20.799
Whatever it is, yeah, make space for it.
00:18:21.039 --> 00:18:21.440
Yeah.
00:18:21.599 --> 00:18:21.920
Yeah.
00:18:22.079 --> 00:18:26.960
Cause I think um a lot of women feel guilty about doing that kind of thing too, right?
00:18:27.200 --> 00:18:29.119
Just poking up space for themselves.
00:18:29.200 --> 00:18:31.599
And I don't really want that phase to be over.
00:18:31.759 --> 00:18:33.279
I can speak, you know, for myself.
00:18:33.440 --> 00:18:36.799
It's been 10 years since my my kids are in their 30s now.
00:18:36.960 --> 00:18:37.119
Yeah.
00:18:37.279 --> 00:18:45.359
And so since they've flown the coupe and I and I still see them, thankfully, but like I still have a lot of their stuff down the hall that I'm getting ready to clean out.
00:18:45.440 --> 00:18:52.480
And it's gonna make space for my staging and maybe a separate podcast studio with a different background.
00:18:52.640 --> 00:18:57.680
Um, so it's kind of like there, you know, it's kind of like my new stage of life.
00:18:57.920 --> 00:18:58.319
Yeah.
00:18:58.480 --> 00:18:58.799
Yeah.
00:18:59.279 --> 00:19:01.839
But it is, it's a hard transition, I'm sure, for a lot of people.
00:19:02.160 --> 00:19:03.839
Yeah, it's taken me 10 years.
00:19:04.079 --> 00:19:04.640
Yeah.
00:19:04.880 --> 00:19:09.759
But I have I have whittled it down to uh just a you know, 20 boxes now.
00:19:09.839 --> 00:19:10.480
Yeah.
00:19:12.079 --> 00:19:13.039
I'm getting there.
00:19:13.119 --> 00:19:13.279
Yeah.
00:19:13.440 --> 00:19:15.200
I understand your pain, folks.
00:19:15.680 --> 00:19:21.279
Well, it's a good, it's I mean, it's good for people to hear too because it is, you know, a process as you go through this, right?
00:19:21.519 --> 00:19:22.400
It's a process, yes.
00:19:22.799 --> 00:19:26.400
Overnight become, you know, somebody totally different.
00:19:26.559 --> 00:19:28.960
And that's like and let's be intentional.
00:19:29.039 --> 00:19:29.200
Yeah.
00:19:29.440 --> 00:19:44.480
Because oftentimes I, you know, I see some people, depends on their personality, panic a little bit and not make a quick decision, you know, to like I'm I'm bored, I'm lonely, I'm gonna change my life, I'm gonna move to whatever, or I'm going to start doing this.
00:19:44.720 --> 00:19:52.720
But have they really it's really a panic, uh, a panic decision because they don't want to sit with that loneliness or the fear.
00:19:52.799 --> 00:20:01.119
And I I hate to say I've watched people move a couple of times um trying to fix something that they didn't actually think through.
00:20:01.200 --> 00:20:03.680
So I think the pause button is very valuable.
00:20:04.319 --> 00:20:16.720
Yeah, I agree with that too, because I think um through the whole process of change, you also may initially have been drawn to something that then you discover is not the right thing.
00:20:16.880 --> 00:20:18.480
And like, you know, and that's okay.
00:20:18.799 --> 00:20:19.039
Yeah.
00:20:19.200 --> 00:20:35.680
And I think that that speaks to when you have spent a long time, you know, caring for others or thinking of others, you know, before yourself, that you have to reacquaint yourself with yourself to understand, you know, oh, this is actually what I like.
00:20:35.839 --> 00:20:37.119
And I thought it was this.
00:20:37.279 --> 00:20:50.640
But if you haven't really thought of your own needs very much or spent a lot of time doing things that you enjoy or you think you enjoy for a long time, then it's gonna take a little bit of um trial and error to figure out what it is.
00:20:51.599 --> 00:20:59.039
And that, and along the way, it's like you pick up little things that you enjoy, and then you know, it's it's not a bad idea to change your mind.
00:20:59.119 --> 00:21:05.920
Like, oh, I thought I was going to like, okay, I tried a Peloton one time and I and I was like, everyone's doing it.
00:21:06.000 --> 00:21:07.039
I'm gonna love it, right?
00:21:07.200 --> 00:21:17.599
And um, and I come to find out I'm an extrovert and I like to go to a class and I have a bad back, so I really shouldn't be sitting uh for exercise.
00:21:17.759 --> 00:21:22.480
I already sit for my job a lot of in the in the car or at the computer.
00:21:22.720 --> 00:21:26.880
And so I walk and I do yoga and I golf and I lift weights at a gym.
00:21:27.039 --> 00:21:33.759
Yeah, but I tried that Peloton and there it sat in a room, and when I'd pass it, I'd feel guilty because I wasn't using it.
00:21:33.839 --> 00:21:42.319
And that was like, oh, I have that's I need to get rid of that because it is it's um it's like uh a reminder.
00:21:42.559 --> 00:21:49.039
A reminder of what I'm not doing and not enjoying and what I wasted money on, and some, you know, all the things.
00:21:49.119 --> 00:21:53.200
And so, like, get that out of my house, yeah, and let somebody else enjoy it.
00:21:53.359 --> 00:21:55.599
Someone was very happy to pay me cash for it.
00:21:55.839 --> 00:21:58.640
And so I no longer have guilt as I pass the room.
00:21:58.960 --> 00:21:59.759
It's funny you say that.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:14.000
Because I recently interviewed somebody who's created this amazing marketplace largely for uh exercise equipment, but like, you know, uh like more expensive items because it's you know their whole uh the service that's encapsulated with it.
00:22:14.160 --> 00:22:22.160
But it's really interesting because that's one of the things that I really think um a lot of people have hanging around in their homes is exercise equipment.
00:22:22.319 --> 00:22:22.799
Sure they can.
00:22:23.119 --> 00:22:29.200
And, you know, because it's such a big purchase and you, you know, you could link this to anything in your home, I think, really.
00:22:29.279 --> 00:22:36.000
Like if you make a big purchase because you think this is who you're gonna be and this is the identity you're gonna, you know, embody.
00:22:36.240 --> 00:22:54.960
And then it doesn't really work out that, you know, I really think that we should give ourselves a little more grace with this stuff because there is a really, I think there's a lot of greatness in being willing to try things, you know, and to like test them out and see if there's something that you're into.
00:22:55.039 --> 00:23:19.119
And then if you're not, or you are for a time and that changes, that like you're embracing the sort of transitional nature of our identity sometimes, you know, that there's pieces of it are that are gonna grow and change, and other pieces may, you know, really stay firmly rooted in who we are, but but like naturally we we have to change over this lifetime.
00:23:19.440 --> 00:23:20.079
We do.
00:23:20.400 --> 00:23:24.000
And I love that the transitional nature of our identity.
00:23:24.240 --> 00:23:25.920
I love that the way that you put that.
00:23:26.079 --> 00:23:27.279
That's uh that's great.
00:23:27.599 --> 00:23:28.240
Yeah, yeah.
00:23:28.400 --> 00:23:39.279
You know, I I think like I recently um got divorced and I've moved and you know, I'm I'm sort of shifting into doing this work full-time, and I've done a lot of transition in the last couple of years.
00:23:39.440 --> 00:24:01.839
And I I really have reflected a lot on this because I think when I relate it to intentional living and I think about my clients and all the transitions they've experienced, like there really is something to, I think we were kind of sold that like at least a piece of us is like we're this person and this is who we are, and like, you know, certain things don't change.
00:24:02.000 --> 00:24:26.240
And and I think that when we can let go of that a little bit more and look at the fact that, you know, there's gonna be these multiple versions of you in a lifetime and and even coexisting at the same time, you know, like you can be a mother and you know, a realtor or like a friend and a daughter, and you know, like all the pieces of you at the same time.
00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:30.160
Yeah, but I don't know that we really have looked at ourselves that way.
00:24:30.400 --> 00:24:38.000
We've really looked at ourselves as like one person, and yes, I think we're more multifaceted than that.
00:24:38.240 --> 00:24:39.279
I think we are too.
00:24:39.440 --> 00:24:44.319
And on different days, sometimes you're different things because you have to switch your focus.
00:24:44.799 --> 00:25:06.240
And so some days I'm more of a realtor, and some days I'm a writer, and some days I'm a gardener, and some days I'm just a creative, like thinking of, you know, just letting my my mind, if I have space, letting my mind do its thing and on a walk, coming up with creative ideas, which I can't do when I'm reviewing contracts.
00:25:06.480 --> 00:25:07.680
And right.
00:25:07.759 --> 00:25:11.440
So you have to like rec recognize those different facets of yourself.
00:25:11.759 --> 00:25:18.799
But in in my work, I also say set your lifestyle up and in your environment up to encourage those different facets.
00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:20.960
Different rooms have different purposes.
00:25:21.200 --> 00:25:28.640
Um I just took a walk in some neighborhoods with a bunch of trees, and I'm a podcast junkie, so I listen to a podcast.
00:25:28.720 --> 00:25:35.279
And so I know I don't, you know, I know I need to live in a certain neighborhood that I can take a walk like that.
00:25:35.440 --> 00:25:35.680
Yeah.
00:25:35.839 --> 00:25:36.640
Um, right.
00:25:36.799 --> 00:25:45.599
And so if you know that about yourself, then you can set up your home environment to really, like you said, support all the facets of who you are.
00:25:45.839 --> 00:25:46.400
Yeah.
00:25:46.640 --> 00:25:50.880
Yeah, it's like, you know, collecting little bits of data too, right?
00:25:50.960 --> 00:25:57.359
Like, you know, uh similar to you actually, because I just moved and I was thinking about all these things as I was trying to decide where to move.
00:25:57.519 --> 00:26:06.559
And one of them was that like my last neighborhood I didn't find was very walkable in some aspects, you know, like there were certain things that were great about it and certain things that weren't.
00:26:06.720 --> 00:26:10.400
And that I've just been embracing how much more I like my new neighborhood for walking.
00:26:10.559 --> 00:26:23.200
And but I think that those are little bits of data that you can kind of collect about yourself where you start to see, you know, I think back to what you said initially was like sort of noticing um things that you don't like too, right?
00:26:23.279 --> 00:26:24.400
And and yeah.
00:26:24.480 --> 00:26:24.640
Yeah.
00:26:24.720 --> 00:26:26.559
And then how do you know until you try it?
00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:27.920
Yeah, yeah.
00:26:28.160 --> 00:26:49.039
So I mean, I don't know how do you like if you were to sort of speak to someone who was trying to figure out how they could be more intentional with their space and they wanted it to support this version of them that they're working towards, what are maybe some questions or some thoughts that they could um start with to help them?
00:26:49.759 --> 00:27:05.839
Well, I think the biggest thing is, you know, if you could go around the eight areas of the wheel of life, and there are many versions, but the one that I use is finance, health, environment, career, romance, fun and leisure, or entertainment, and what do you like to do for fun and how do you like to relax?
00:27:06.400 --> 00:27:09.440
And the last two are spirituality and family and friends.
00:27:09.920 --> 00:27:15.839
When you go through those eight areas, does one stick out to you as being having a deficit?
00:27:16.000 --> 00:27:18.480
Like from one to ten, is it a two or a three?
00:27:18.720 --> 00:27:27.519
Like um, let's use an extreme example of um I'm about to have my fourth child and we live in a uh three-bedroom house.
00:27:27.759 --> 00:27:28.079
Yeah.
00:27:28.319 --> 00:27:28.640
Okay.
00:27:28.799 --> 00:27:33.200
And we have two dogs, whatever the case may be, or you know, or a two-bedroom condo.
00:27:33.279 --> 00:27:34.400
It's time to go.
00:27:35.200 --> 00:27:36.799
And so that's very obvious.
00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:40.240
And so the the deficit there was uh family and friends.
00:27:40.480 --> 00:27:44.000
We need hard for the dogs, we need, you know, four bedrooms.
00:27:44.160 --> 00:27:46.720
Okay, well, but then also let's now think about career.
00:27:46.880 --> 00:27:49.119
Well, one of us works from home, right?
00:27:49.359 --> 00:27:52.720
We need an office, and we need what to what do we need?
00:27:52.880 --> 00:27:57.759
And um health-wise, um, you know, what could it be?
00:27:57.920 --> 00:28:07.519
Oh, uh, so and so Jamie has allergies, and so we need to, you know, uh severe food allergies, we need to live close to a hospital just in case.
00:28:07.680 --> 00:28:25.839
Yes, and so you go around the wheel, you figure out the primary one that's low, and then you can either fix you can stay and repurpose a room or change something, you can go, which means move, or you can renovate, you can stay, go, or reno.
00:28:26.319 --> 00:28:29.200
And so what do you what are your choices there?
00:28:29.279 --> 00:28:39.839
So you go through a list of questions in each of those areas once you pinpoint, you know, the problem areas to ascertain what's wrong in my current house.
00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:40.160
Yeah.
00:28:40.319 --> 00:28:43.839
Can I stay and fix it, or can I move?
00:28:44.079 --> 00:28:45.039
Yeah, yeah.
00:28:45.279 --> 00:28:54.720
Yeah, I like that, you know, using those different areas because it, I mean, it's I'm sure that there's also areas of our life that we completely neglect thinking about as well.
00:28:54.960 --> 00:28:55.839
We don't even think about them.
00:28:55.920 --> 00:28:58.640
Yeah, like spirituality, people just they're too busy.
00:28:58.799 --> 00:28:59.119
Yeah.
00:28:59.359 --> 00:29:09.599
But it's very much proven if you and spirituality can be yoga, it can be walking in nature, it can be religion, whatever, whatever it is to the person.
00:29:09.839 --> 00:29:12.240
Um, but uh people neglect that when they get busy.
00:29:12.319 --> 00:29:24.799
And then um once they once they do put some more meditative areas, whatever the case may be, some green space, more light, yeah, um, and walk or walk in nature, plant a garden, um, they become happier.
00:29:25.039 --> 00:29:25.440
Yeah.
00:29:26.160 --> 00:29:27.359
They notice that part.
00:29:27.599 --> 00:29:34.400
Yeah, because it, I mean, it's one of those things I'm sure that in the day-to-day life sort of falls to the wayside, right?
00:29:34.480 --> 00:29:38.880
Because we get in this like triage way of living sometimes, right?
00:29:38.960 --> 00:29:44.640
Where it's so busy and it's like, oh, well, this has to happen and this has to happen, but this doesn't really have to happen.
00:29:44.720 --> 00:29:46.319
So forget that till later.
00:29:46.480 --> 00:29:47.920
And it just doesn't.
00:29:48.079 --> 00:29:50.319
So I like you're like, you're kind of flat.
00:29:50.559 --> 00:29:50.960
Yeah.
00:29:51.839 --> 00:29:59.759
But that framework to give you sort of a checklist, like a beginning place to look at things to say and ideas, you know, examples.
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:00.240
Yeah.
00:30:00.480 --> 00:30:02.640
Of how how to what does that mean?
00:30:02.720 --> 00:30:05.759
You know, what is what kind of joy does that mean to you?
00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:08.400
I mean, are you spiritual with a group of people?
00:30:08.559 --> 00:30:19.519
You like that better, having you know, a circle of uh like-minded folks, or would you rather, you know, meditate or pray or read or what whatever that is to you?
00:30:19.680 --> 00:30:24.240
And it's it does again take some time to figure that out.
00:30:24.559 --> 00:30:41.920
Yeah, but it it really um I think is a good sort of jumping off place for people because I really do find, and this is just like over the years that I've done this, I really do find that when I say to somebody that I'm working with, what is it that you want?
00:30:42.079 --> 00:30:44.480
Like what do you envision your life like?
00:30:44.559 --> 00:30:47.680
Or, you know, how how do you want to be living?
00:30:47.920 --> 00:30:55.039
I really don't ask that question so much, you know, that way anymore because um it's such a big question.
00:30:55.279 --> 00:30:56.079
It's so broad.
00:30:56.240 --> 00:30:56.480
Yeah.
00:30:56.720 --> 00:30:57.039
Right.
00:30:57.440 --> 00:31:08.319
And I think that some people may very well like have clear answers to that, but more so I think um it's about like how do you want to feel?
00:31:08.400 --> 00:31:12.880
Like, you know, what are the things that you want to feel on a regular basis?
00:31:13.039 --> 00:31:22.640
And then you can start to look at what can create those feelings versus like, you know, who who do you want to be or how do you want to be spending your time?
00:31:22.960 --> 00:31:26.240
Because yeah, I don't know if some people know some they want to spend their time.
00:31:26.559 --> 00:31:32.480
I've met can skip right over those four M's because like I've had couples that's like I'm like, they're great.
00:31:32.720 --> 00:31:34.720
Like we don't have any foundational issues.
00:31:34.799 --> 00:31:35.279
I can tell.
00:31:35.359 --> 00:31:38.319
They know who they are, they're great supportive of each other.
00:31:38.559 --> 00:31:40.960
Let's just go find a new house and what are we trying to fix?
00:31:41.119 --> 00:31:43.359
So we just go right into that eight areas.
00:31:43.519 --> 00:31:49.759
We don't have to address, we don't have to go back and address anything in their foundation, and that's that's lovely.
00:31:50.880 --> 00:31:54.960
Yeah, but not everybody has I think that that kind of clarity.
00:31:55.200 --> 00:31:58.799
They don't a lot of people don't, especially if uh something's just changed.
00:31:58.960 --> 00:31:59.200
Yeah.
00:31:59.839 --> 00:32:01.279
It's like, okay, who am I now?
00:32:01.440 --> 00:32:01.759
Yeah.
00:32:01.920 --> 00:32:05.920
Or if there's a big change, it's it oftentimes involves a move.
00:32:06.160 --> 00:32:06.559
Yeah.
00:32:06.720 --> 00:32:07.279
Yeah.
00:32:07.599 --> 00:32:16.480
And it's, I mean, you know, I think it can be a great opportunity, but I think it also, you know, is paired with lots of feelings.
00:32:16.720 --> 00:32:24.480
And it can be hard when you're dealing with heavy feelings to think with a lot of clarity around absolutely what you want.
00:32:24.559 --> 00:32:25.279
Or yeah.
00:32:25.440 --> 00:32:40.000
And I think what the exercise does, the wheelhouse assessment, is it it makes you think about those eight areas and brain, there's a series of questions in each area rising up from physiological needs to aesthetic, which is you know, building.
00:32:40.240 --> 00:32:40.480
Yeah.
00:32:40.640 --> 00:32:44.160
Um, it makes you it's like, oh gosh, I had never thought of that.
00:32:44.400 --> 00:32:44.799
Yeah.
00:32:45.039 --> 00:32:48.640
You know, a question that you have maybe had never thought of.
00:32:48.880 --> 00:32:50.319
Um, yeah.
00:32:50.559 --> 00:32:54.079
And, you know, you think of like health needs.
00:32:54.400 --> 00:33:00.000
Um, well, I live in I live in the cold and I hadn't really thought about how much it's affecting my health.
00:33:00.079 --> 00:33:00.240
Yeah.
00:33:00.480 --> 00:33:03.839
You know, because I've just my family lives here, I've always lived here and things like that.
00:33:04.000 --> 00:33:11.039
So it just really is an in an inventory of your needs in each area and which ones are being met and which aren't.
00:33:11.279 --> 00:33:15.599
And sometimes it's like, oh yeah, I never really thought about it, but that does make me uncomfortable.
00:33:15.839 --> 00:33:16.160
Yeah.
00:33:16.400 --> 00:33:16.880
You know?
00:33:17.279 --> 00:33:18.799
Yeah, absolutely.
00:33:18.960 --> 00:33:34.000
Um, I think that it's I think very relatable for anybody listening that there are things that we've just accepted as they've always been there, or this is the way we've always done things, or they've always done this in that room.
00:33:34.240 --> 00:33:38.799
Or you know, yeah, or that's grandma's furniture.
00:33:39.200 --> 00:33:39.599
Yeah.
00:33:40.720 --> 00:33:48.160
But you know, um maybe it's not working in the room, and maybe you can gift it to another family member.
00:33:48.960 --> 00:33:49.519
I don't know.
00:33:49.680 --> 00:33:53.599
That's a tough one because you know, again, a guilt is involved in a lot of this stuff.
00:33:53.680 --> 00:33:56.960
Like I've always done this, and this is what people are expecting me to do.
00:33:57.279 --> 00:33:59.680
And I've I I don't want to try this new thing.
00:33:59.759 --> 00:34:01.119
What are people going to say?
00:34:01.519 --> 00:34:01.920
Yeah.
00:34:02.319 --> 00:34:03.440
You know, uh-huh.
00:34:03.680 --> 00:34:04.640
I definitely do.
00:34:04.720 --> 00:34:13.360
And I think that um, you know, again, like I talk a lot about clutter on this podcast because it's a a huge factor for people listening.
00:34:13.440 --> 00:34:32.079
You know, they want to declutter, they want to deal with creating space for themselves, but things like that are what come into it, you know, sentimental items, or you know, there's an expectation attached to it, or you know, they feel like if they get rid of this, then so and so is gonna judge them.
00:34:32.239 --> 00:34:39.119
And I always tell this story because I think that hardly anybody has probably actually experienced this.
00:34:39.360 --> 00:34:47.599
But um, when I did get married, uh, my sister-in-law gave us these sort of some china pieces, I guess.
00:34:47.760 --> 00:34:50.000
You know, there was like a pitcher and a few things.
00:34:50.239 --> 00:34:51.599
And neither of us really liked it.
00:34:51.760 --> 00:34:54.880
Like it was very like brightly colored and just not not our thing.
00:34:54.960 --> 00:34:56.400
And so, you know, I kept it for a while.
00:34:56.480 --> 00:34:58.960
It was in a cupboard for like a couple of years.
00:34:59.119 --> 00:35:02.559
And then when I moved, um, I got rid of it.
00:35:03.119 --> 00:35:07.039
And so when I moved, um, she kept asking me where it was.
00:35:08.639 --> 00:35:12.320
No, and the first time I said, Oh, it must be packed in the basement still.
00:35:12.400 --> 00:35:13.840
I haven't unpacked it yet.
00:35:14.000 --> 00:35:17.519
You know, just thinking that she would let it lie and that I wouldn't hear about it again.
00:35:17.679 --> 00:35:18.320
But it came back.
00:35:18.400 --> 00:35:21.519
And then she said, Well, if you really don't like it, I'd like it back.
00:35:22.880 --> 00:35:23.519
Oh no.
00:35:23.760 --> 00:35:27.199
I said to her, I'm like, you know what, it what it didn't suit us that we we got rid of it.
00:35:27.280 --> 00:35:31.440
And I just told her, but you know, I think that it's hard.
00:35:31.599 --> 00:35:37.679
It's so rare that anybody would actually have that uncomfortable an experience or like that.
00:35:37.920 --> 00:35:41.280
So um, I tell people that to make them feel better.
00:35:42.960 --> 00:35:44.079
That's so funny.
00:35:44.239 --> 00:35:54.639
Well, I think all of us have sentimental items in our house, you know, and they they're good, but but you know what I think clutter is sometimes is unresolved emotions.
00:35:55.599 --> 00:36:06.000
Sometimes, not all the time, sometimes we're just busy, you know, and we like I know that stack of papers needs to be filed or whatever, thrown, whatever, but I'm I'm running out the door again.
00:36:06.079 --> 00:36:06.719
I'll get to it.
00:36:06.800 --> 00:36:06.960
Yeah.
00:36:07.119 --> 00:36:10.480
And so, like, you know, weeks later, it's you know, something you have to deal with.
00:36:10.800 --> 00:36:16.800
But however, I mean, sometimes I think people get stuck.
00:36:17.599 --> 00:36:28.320
And sometimes the clutter is just if I they'll have to face feelings where they're holding their mother's wedding gown.
00:36:28.639 --> 00:36:31.599
Or and it's like, okay, both my parents are gone.
00:36:31.679 --> 00:36:36.960
If I throw this away, it's like it's really final, like it's really accepting that they're gone.
00:36:37.119 --> 00:36:39.599
Yeah, and it's it's hard, and I understand that.
00:36:39.679 --> 00:36:43.360
I'm very empathetic with, I'm a very intuitive, empathetic person.
00:36:43.440 --> 00:36:44.800
Yeah, so I understand that.
00:36:44.880 --> 00:36:51.199
And so I, you know, but I I have seen people get a little bit stuck with things.
00:36:51.440 --> 00:36:52.880
Yeah, for sure.
00:36:53.199 --> 00:37:23.599
And I think that that's, I mean, again, I really do believe there's a bit of a process to it, but when you have that, you know, idea or that vision of what you want and how you want to be living or how you want to feel in your home, that, you know, the more you can kind of connect to that on an ongoing basis and then you make decisions around your stuff based on that, um, it does really shift things in that like you're like, okay, I know I want to get rid of, you know, grandma's China.
00:37:23.760 --> 00:37:25.440
I know that I don't want to keep it.
00:37:25.599 --> 00:37:31.280
I'm just not right at the point where I'm ready to let go of it, or you know, that those sentimental things can take time.
00:37:31.519 --> 00:37:31.840
Yeah.
00:37:32.159 --> 00:37:47.679
But also, I mean, the other piece that I really think is a big factor in the busyness is, you know, that women carry this really big mental load and that the busyness could often for for people be distributed more, right?
00:37:47.760 --> 00:38:13.199
And then you you're not so busy um with as much, you know, like not everything is necessarily your responsibility or yours to hold on to, and that it could be distributed a little differently in your household, and then it might not feel like you're holding all the cards for all the things that need to get done, but then also being like the decision maker around the stuff and the clutter.
00:38:13.360 --> 00:38:26.159
And so, like you're always too busy to do it because you know, you're you're holding so much, and then like you said, you add in that layer of emotion when it comes to something that's sentimental or you're worried about being judged and that kind of thing.
00:38:26.239 --> 00:38:33.519
And it just, you know, it's like the perfect storm of things where it just stays and it stays for a long time.
00:38:33.920 --> 00:38:38.639
It does, and it it adds on to you know, all of the things that we have to think about.
00:38:39.199 --> 00:38:45.760
You know, the clutter that you see prevents you from thinking about something more progressive.
00:38:45.920 --> 00:38:46.239
Yeah.
00:38:46.400 --> 00:38:58.159
Because it it holds you back, it puts guilt on you, it redirects your attention to something from the past as opposed to a project you could be working on, um, or just walking out the door with a clear mind.
00:38:58.400 --> 00:38:58.719
Yeah.
00:38:58.880 --> 00:39:00.239
I think you're absolutely right.
00:39:00.400 --> 00:39:06.719
That's really well put because it is then, you know, this stuff does keep us tied to past versions.
00:39:06.960 --> 00:39:10.079
And it really is hard to let go.
00:39:10.159 --> 00:39:16.079
Like I, you know, my my listeners know my mom passed away about two years ago, and you know, I cleared out her house.
00:39:16.159 --> 00:39:36.880
And, you know, I've sort of, I mean, really just having moved, I think I've tackled the last box of things that you know came from her and and you know, I had to make decisions about, but that it it is um, yeah, it is heavy to go through that, but it is a decision about what do you really want to bring forward?
00:39:37.039 --> 00:39:44.559
You know, like and I knew that I wanted to come into this space and have it feel really light and bright and easy.
00:39:44.800 --> 00:39:45.840
It is very light and bright.
00:39:45.920 --> 00:39:46.559
I love your background.
00:39:46.719 --> 00:39:58.880
Yeah, I think but I was like, you know, every time I think about that, like I just put a few things at the curb the other day because I was like, okay, these were things I chose for my mom's, but they're not really contributing to that feeling.
00:39:59.039 --> 00:40:00.480
I have other things, you know.
00:40:00.639 --> 00:40:12.320
But yeah, like it's it's it's really holding on to, like you said, who you want to be and like separating from the past version of yourself and then making decisions on that.
00:40:12.480 --> 00:40:14.000
And you know, it takes time.
00:40:14.239 --> 00:40:16.239
It's it's kind of like Marie Kondo.
00:40:16.400 --> 00:40:17.119
Do you know who she is?
00:40:17.440 --> 00:40:19.360
Yes meets Tony Robbins.
00:40:19.519 --> 00:40:20.159
Yeah.
00:40:20.400 --> 00:40:21.199
That's true.
00:40:23.119 --> 00:40:24.880
Yeah, I like her technology.
00:40:25.119 --> 00:40:30.000
I mean, she's so teeny and he's he's just bigger than life, but it's a great, you know, it's a great visual.
00:40:30.159 --> 00:40:30.400
Yeah.
00:40:30.480 --> 00:40:32.159
Um, just combine the two of them.
00:40:32.400 --> 00:40:32.719
Yeah.
00:40:32.960 --> 00:40:44.079
Well, it's funny because whenever, like, you know, people in my you know, my real life ask me what I do, and I try to explain it, and I'm like, well, it's like decluttering, but it's also like, you know, life stuff.
00:40:44.719 --> 00:40:45.280
That's right.
00:40:45.519 --> 00:40:48.800
Because you're you're Tony Robbins and Marie Kondo.
00:40:50.079 --> 00:40:51.119
The best possible way.
00:40:51.519 --> 00:40:51.760
Yeah.
00:40:58.800 --> 00:41:06.400
It prevents you from using your space the way you want to use your space for the things that you know take you towards where you're and guess what?
00:41:06.480 --> 00:41:16.480
It for anyone holding on to grandma's China, although I kind of wish I had my great-grandmother's China back right now because it's becoming very popular with the young people.
00:41:16.719 --> 00:41:16.960
Yeah.
00:41:17.119 --> 00:41:19.280
And um, they call it grandma core.
00:41:19.760 --> 00:41:22.880
And they are buying it up in droves, like estate sales.
00:41:22.960 --> 00:41:29.119
The young people are coming in to buy up all the chatka from the 70s and 80s and even earlier.
00:41:29.440 --> 00:41:30.239
That's so funny.
00:41:30.400 --> 00:41:36.400
Can I tell you though, what I did is that um, and this actually was something that came from a client of mine.
00:41:36.719 --> 00:41:40.719
I got a lead test lead testing um swabs.
00:41:40.880 --> 00:41:41.199
Yes.
00:41:41.360 --> 00:41:46.559
And I tested stuff because um there is so much lead in stuff.
00:41:47.039 --> 00:41:48.000
And it was amazing.
00:41:48.079 --> 00:41:54.960
But I I actually, I mean, not everything of my mom's, but there were certain things that I was like, okay, well, that's the decision maker for that.
00:41:55.119 --> 00:41:55.360
Right.
00:41:55.519 --> 00:41:59.280
But I had always been somebody who like, you know, I enjoyed like a little thrift or whatever.
00:41:59.440 --> 00:42:02.960
And now um it's something that I hadn't even entered my mind.
00:42:03.119 --> 00:42:06.960
But that's lead in so much stuff.
00:42:07.199 --> 00:42:11.280
And it's like pre-1970s, it's like almost certain, which is crazy.
00:42:11.440 --> 00:42:15.519
Um, it's like gotta be decor only kind of thing.
00:42:15.599 --> 00:42:16.559
Like, you don't want to use them.
00:42:17.280 --> 00:42:17.599
Yeah.
00:42:17.840 --> 00:42:18.159
Huh.
00:42:18.320 --> 00:42:18.559
Okay.
00:42:18.719 --> 00:42:21.920
Now I might have to get one of those tests because I love old stuff.
00:42:22.239 --> 00:42:22.559
Yeah.
00:42:22.719 --> 00:42:25.519
Well, I mean, like I had dishes that I was like, oh my God.
00:42:25.840 --> 00:42:27.840
My daughter's like, Do we have lead?
00:42:29.920 --> 00:42:37.039
Well, that's an important thing to to um consider when you're you know, picking up some some fun stuff.
00:42:37.280 --> 00:42:43.119
So I I think what I was trying to say to people is just like somebody else probably wants your stuff, believe it or not.
00:42:43.360 --> 00:42:44.239
Yeah, 100%.
00:42:44.719 --> 00:43:03.199
And I think that that's it is that you can find ways for things to have another life and like a a life where they're loved and there's lots of ways to get rid of things for free and you know, just to like take it off your plate, you know, and not worry about the cost, but the value, you know, over the cost of getting rid of it.
00:43:03.440 --> 00:43:03.920
Yeah.
00:43:04.480 --> 00:43:04.639
Yeah.
00:43:05.599 --> 00:43:26.719
So I wonder if um I could just uh ask you sort of if you wanted to leave listeners with one final thought about, you know, if somebody wants to be more intentional with their space, you know, this week, what's something they could ask themselves or some small thing they could do that would help them, you know, just shift to creating a little bit more intention in their space?
00:43:27.440 --> 00:43:27.679
Yeah.
00:43:27.840 --> 00:43:32.239
So I mean, really, again, it's what are you doing that you don't want to be doing?
00:43:33.119 --> 00:43:46.800
Um, like maintaining an area that you don't really even use, um, or a junk drawer that's full of old things and you can't, you know, you can't you want to repurpose it.
00:43:46.960 --> 00:43:50.079
So what are you doing that you don't want to be doing over and over again?
00:43:50.239 --> 00:43:50.400
Yeah.
00:43:50.559 --> 00:43:54.719
And what do you want to do that you're not doing?
00:43:54.880 --> 00:43:59.599
And then pick a little area that you feel is is not supporting you.
00:44:00.159 --> 00:44:06.000
And turn it into an area that supports you, even if it's cleaning out a junk drawer, yeah.
00:44:06.079 --> 00:44:14.639
Um, to fit something, you know, little trays for the keys that you lose somewhere that you you you save, you know, 10 hours a week not looking for.
00:44:14.880 --> 00:44:15.039
Yeah.
00:44:15.199 --> 00:44:21.440
Just to facilitate um your life, making your life easier so you can be the person you want to be.
00:44:21.679 --> 00:44:22.639
Yeah, I love that.
00:44:22.800 --> 00:44:24.880
That's like, you know, so straightforward.
00:44:25.039 --> 00:44:27.199
You can do it in a few minutes at a time.
00:44:27.440 --> 00:44:31.840
And it's just um something to ask yourself over and over again.
00:44:31.920 --> 00:44:41.440
I love those things that um I always call portable, like you can take with you and like ask those questions with you as you go, easy to remember and just you know, just mull it over.
00:44:42.079 --> 00:44:42.880
Space serving me.
00:44:44.000 --> 00:44:48.320
It's a drawer, it's a room, it's a closet, it's a dresser, it's a garage, anything.
00:44:48.480 --> 00:44:49.039
Yeah, yeah.
00:44:49.280 --> 00:44:49.440
Yeah.
00:44:50.000 --> 00:44:50.320
Yeah.
00:44:50.400 --> 00:45:00.000
And we're good at figuring out the things that we don't like, you know, like those actually, like our brains are wired in a way that like that is an easy place to start.
00:45:00.320 --> 00:45:02.960
Because we'll definitely have something to work with.
00:45:04.880 --> 00:45:08.000
Um, so I have three final questions that are just for fun.
00:45:08.159 --> 00:45:12.400
Um the first one is what is something you can't live without?
00:45:13.039 --> 00:45:16.480
My morning coffee in my husband's lazy boy.
00:45:18.000 --> 00:45:19.840
That sounds wonderful, actually.
00:45:20.880 --> 00:45:23.760
He's a he's a he's a beautiful tall man.
00:45:23.840 --> 00:45:32.000
And so um I every morning I just kind of it's a huge chair, and I it's not the prettiest thing, but it I love him so much.
00:45:32.079 --> 00:45:34.320
I'm like, you can have you can have the lazy boy.
00:45:34.400 --> 00:45:37.599
Yeah, but and and now I love it so much I go sit in it every morning.
00:45:37.679 --> 00:45:42.000
So yeah, I can't do without my my morning coffee in my husband's chair.
00:45:42.159 --> 00:45:43.199
That's awesome.
00:45:44.079 --> 00:45:46.559
What about a favorite quote or saying?
00:45:47.440 --> 00:45:48.639
Oh my gosh.
00:45:49.039 --> 00:45:51.199
I guess wherever you go, there you are.
00:45:52.719 --> 00:45:57.440
And um you can bring things with you.
00:45:57.519 --> 00:46:04.559
It just changing your on the other flip side of what I'm doing, your environment can't change who you are.
00:46:05.119 --> 00:46:11.679
You know, you have to recognize your strengths and and um play on those and focus on those.
00:46:12.159 --> 00:46:16.800
Um and changing your entire environment will not change who you are.
00:46:17.199 --> 00:46:17.519
Yeah.
00:46:18.559 --> 00:46:19.519
I I love that.
00:46:19.599 --> 00:46:32.159
And I think it speaks back to what you're saying about things are a process and that you can't like flip the switch overnight, but that you have to kind of keep going and keep coming at it, that you really do shift.
00:46:32.320 --> 00:46:32.960
Yeah.
00:46:33.679 --> 00:46:37.360
Um, and the final one is an easy go-to dinner.
00:46:37.679 --> 00:46:38.639
Oh my goodness.
00:46:38.800 --> 00:46:41.440
Um, like a local one, like what's my favorite?
00:46:41.760 --> 00:46:42.079
Whatever.
00:46:42.159 --> 00:46:46.960
Well, I don't know, like if something you like to make or oh, and a go-to dinner at home.
00:46:47.280 --> 00:46:50.800
Well, it's it's always um like a chicken breast with a salad.
00:46:51.199 --> 00:46:52.079
A meat and salad.
00:46:52.159 --> 00:46:53.840
I do I love a meat and a salad.
00:46:54.000 --> 00:46:56.159
So we're having that tonight, actually.
00:46:56.320 --> 00:47:07.599
So um I love a nice lean protein and a salad, trying to pare down you know, dinner to not, you know, as as I'm 60 years old, it's just I don't need to eat a big meal at night.
00:47:07.760 --> 00:47:13.920
So my go-to is uh like a lean salmon, and then I get I love uh um a homemade dressing.
00:47:14.159 --> 00:47:14.559
Yeah.
00:47:15.360 --> 00:47:16.079
I know it's true.
00:47:16.159 --> 00:47:21.920
Once you get a good dressing that you really like that you make, you can taste the preservatives in the store-bought ones now.
00:47:22.159 --> 00:47:22.800
Now I can.
00:47:22.960 --> 00:47:23.199
Yeah.
00:47:23.440 --> 00:47:24.960
And I I love the fresh.
00:47:25.119 --> 00:47:26.559
Yeah, definitely.
00:47:26.719 --> 00:47:33.039
I know I can't do, I haven't been able to do store-bought salad dressing or canned soup for like a really, really long time.
00:47:34.079 --> 00:47:37.039
I'd rather make it, yeah, and freeze it and have it later.
00:47:37.280 --> 00:47:38.800
Yeah, totally.
00:47:39.199 --> 00:47:40.639
Uh well, thank you so much.
00:47:40.719 --> 00:47:42.239
This has been such a great conversation.
00:47:42.400 --> 00:47:49.920
I wonder if you could just share with listeners where they could find out more about you or if they're interested in reading your book and learning more about the assessment.
00:47:50.079 --> 00:47:51.599
Um, where can they go?
00:47:52.000 --> 00:47:52.400
Sure.
00:47:52.559 --> 00:47:54.960
Um, so I'm on the socials as Kim E.
00:47:55.039 --> 00:47:56.400
Costa, all of them.
00:47:56.639 --> 00:48:05.119
And then um my website where you can get the book or sign up for a workshop or read some blogs is lifestylefoundations.com.
00:48:05.360 --> 00:48:05.760
Awesome.
00:48:05.920 --> 00:48:10.000
Well, I will definitely put those in the show notes, but um it's great for listeners to hear that.
00:48:10.079 --> 00:48:11.119
So thank you again, Kim.
00:48:11.199 --> 00:48:12.559
It's been such a great conversation.
00:48:12.800 --> 00:48:15.039
It has been my pleasure, Sarah.
00:48:21.039 --> 00:48:22.400
That's all for today.
00:48:22.480 --> 00:48:24.079
I'll see you again next week.
00:48:24.239 --> 00:48:29.679
And if you liked today's episode and found it helpful, I'd be so grateful if you would write a review.
00:48:29.920 --> 00:48:33.039
If you do, your day will be entered for this month's giveaway.
00:48:33.199 --> 00:48:36.400
You can also share with another mom who would be helped by listening.
00:48:36.559 --> 00:48:40.000
And be sure to follow me on Instagram at Simple Intentional.
00:48:40.159 --> 00:48:41.679
Thanks for listening.
00:00:05.839 --> 00:00:09.039
Do you feel overwhelmed by clutter when you walk through the door?
00:00:09.199 --> 00:00:12.640
Are you tired all the time and stuck just getting by?
00:00:12.880 --> 00:00:17.600
With each day being a carbon copy of the next and no time or space for yourself?
00:00:17.920 --> 00:00:21.760
Hi, I'm Sarah, and I was you, so I understand.
00:00:22.000 --> 00:00:27.280
You're a busy mom, whether at home or working full-time, feeling like you're in survival mode.
00:00:27.440 --> 00:00:33.679
There isn't time for more because you're just putting out fires, overwhelmed by all this stuff, and aching for something more.
00:00:33.920 --> 00:00:38.560
That's what the Simple Intentional Podcast is here for: to support you.
00:00:38.799 --> 00:00:48.960
Whether it's to clear clutter, ditch the overwhelm, and create ease and simplicity, figure out how to be more intentional in your life, or inspire you into action.
00:00:49.200 --> 00:01:02.320
Each week I'll share things like practical and actionable tips you can start using immediately to start living more intentionally and create your life, as well as interviews with people that will inspire and educate you.
00:01:02.560 --> 00:01:06.560
I'm a full-time working mom, wife, and lover of all things simple.
00:01:06.799 --> 00:01:13.439
After a stage four cancer diagnosis in 2014, I started on a path to change how I was living.
00:01:13.599 --> 00:01:23.760
And I'm sharing with you everything that has helped me move from a stressed-out, people-pleasing perfectionist to calm, in control, and feeling like the best version of myself.
00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:30.239
So grab your earbuds, a cup of tea, and join me to start making powerful shifts in your life today.
00:01:30.400 --> 00:01:33.280
This is about so much more than stuff.
00:01:35.040 --> 00:01:38.400
Hello and welcome back to the Simple and Intentional Podcast.
00:01:38.560 --> 00:01:47.040
You have probably heard me say this a million times, but our environment has a huge impact on us and is often unknowingly shaping your life.
00:01:47.280 --> 00:01:52.560
You want to exercise, but it's a struggle to roll out your mat because of all the clutter, so you don't.
00:01:52.799 --> 00:02:00.079
You would love to cook more nourishing meals, but your counters are always covered, so you default to quick and easy convenience meals.
00:02:00.319 --> 00:02:05.120
You would love to get better sleep, but your room feels overwhelming and the opposite of peaceful.
00:02:05.359 --> 00:02:11.039
Each one of these goals hits friction from your space and increases the friction of starting something new.
00:02:11.199 --> 00:02:14.080
However, the exciting thing is that you can change it.
00:02:14.240 --> 00:02:26.159
My guest this week, Kim Costa, is here to talk about how we can become more intentional with our spaces and make decisions that support the you you are becoming and help create the version you dream of.
00:02:26.400 --> 00:02:34.159
Kim is a top 5% Atlanta realtor, author of Live in Your Wheelhouse, and creator of the Wheelhouse Assessment.
00:02:34.319 --> 00:02:44.080
With 30 years of experience across construction, interior design, and real estate, Kim helps women understand how their homes affect their peace, identity, and next chapter.
00:02:44.319 --> 00:02:47.680
Her approach goes beyond buying, selling, or renovating.
00:02:47.919 --> 00:02:54.080
She helps women make intentional home decisions that support who they are becoming and the life they truly want to live.
00:02:54.319 --> 00:02:55.199
Hello, Kim.
00:02:55.280 --> 00:02:57.280
Welcome and thank you for being here.
00:02:57.680 --> 00:02:58.639
Thank you, Sarah.
00:02:58.719 --> 00:03:00.560
I am so excited about our conversation.
00:03:00.639 --> 00:03:01.680
Thank you for having me.
00:03:01.919 --> 00:03:06.000
Yeah, no, I think this will be a really great topic for listeners.
00:03:06.159 --> 00:03:10.240
I know that I think it will be one that a lot can resonate with.
00:03:11.199 --> 00:03:20.479
So I think I wonder if we could just start with you sharing a little bit more about yourself, who you are, and and how did you come to create the wheelhouse assessment and write your book?
00:03:20.960 --> 00:03:22.080
Yes, thank you.
00:03:22.240 --> 00:03:27.360
Um so I um I've been a realtor for uh it'll be my 10th year next year.
00:03:27.520 --> 00:03:33.840
And before that, I was in residential construction and residential interior design.
00:03:33.919 --> 00:03:43.439
But I um I have a background uh educationally in marketing, um, but more importantly, like human resource development and master's work in that.
00:03:43.759 --> 00:03:48.159
And so, and my parents were both human resource um directors.
00:03:48.319 --> 00:03:53.280
And so I always heard that's this job is in their wheelhouse, or this job wasn't in their wheelhouse.
00:03:53.360 --> 00:03:54.400
We had to let them go.
00:03:54.639 --> 00:04:01.120
And so that wheelhouse aspect of something that fits you or doesn't stuck with me from when I was young.
00:04:01.360 --> 00:04:18.319
And because I had such an interest in um interior design and human resources, I started matching people's potential with their home environment potential and how it blocks them or helps them achieve who they want to be in their next chapter.
00:04:18.639 --> 00:04:20.079
Oh, that's so interesting.
00:04:20.240 --> 00:04:29.839
It's so neat how you know our like childhood and our lived experiences, these little nuggets that we take with us, just assimilate shape.
00:04:30.079 --> 00:04:30.399
Yeah.
00:04:30.639 --> 00:04:33.839
Like in how we our perspective and how we think about things.
00:04:33.920 --> 00:04:38.240
And it's so interesting like to have those two things kind of, you know, come on.
00:04:38.480 --> 00:04:47.120
We wouldn't think they went together, but the more um I thought about it with all my background, I was like, there's a pattern, there are definite patterns here.
00:04:47.600 --> 00:04:52.160
And um, I was switching from accounting, which is a crazy story.
00:04:52.399 --> 00:04:54.720
Um, it's in my book if you if you care to know.
00:04:54.800 --> 00:04:56.480
It's like how I reinvented myself.
00:04:56.560 --> 00:04:59.199
And as I did that, I used the wheel of life.
00:04:59.360 --> 00:04:59.439
Okay.
00:04:59.920 --> 00:05:04.720
That's eight different areas that I was adjusting to make my life fit me better.
00:05:04.879 --> 00:05:05.040
Yeah.
00:05:05.199 --> 00:05:12.720
And so I was moving and becoming a realtor, and I started noticing people's changing or wanting to change in these eight different areas.
00:05:13.120 --> 00:05:15.120
And then that's how the assessment came out.
00:05:15.199 --> 00:05:19.439
I used it to help myself, and then I started using it in real estate.
00:05:19.680 --> 00:05:20.240
Oh, cool.
00:05:20.399 --> 00:05:32.160
Yeah, I want to ask you more about that a little bit later, but I think that's a really neat um, you know, just the idea of like when we have a framework to kind of work from and and yeah, it's clarity.
00:05:32.319 --> 00:05:32.639
Yeah.
00:05:32.959 --> 00:05:34.560
And it's not so overwhelming.
00:05:34.800 --> 00:05:38.000
You know, if you have one thing to work on, because I that's what I recommend.
00:05:38.079 --> 00:05:39.360
Don't overwhelm yourself.
00:05:39.600 --> 00:05:41.680
Work on the one work on one thing.
00:05:41.920 --> 00:05:48.160
Yeah, I recommend that too, but I feel like that is actually really the hard part for it is hard.
00:05:50.240 --> 00:05:51.519
Like, but I have five things.
00:05:51.680 --> 00:05:53.600
Okay, well, do do one a month.
00:05:53.839 --> 00:05:54.959
Yeah, I know.
00:05:55.120 --> 00:06:14.160
Like it really is hard to slow yourself down to do that because you like you start to get some ground, and I see it all the time, you know, and people are like, Okay, I'm doing this, and they go like a whole hog into doing a whole bunch of other stuff, and then you know, it kind of then it crumbles and it dilutes the the main thing, yeah, yeah, exactly.
00:06:14.720 --> 00:06:21.600
Um, well, yeah, so you have spent 30 years um in construction, interior design, real estate.
00:06:21.920 --> 00:06:32.800
Um I'm just curious, like what did you see over that time that made you realize that people's homes was, you know, about more than the physical space?
00:06:33.040 --> 00:06:33.600
Yeah.
00:06:33.839 --> 00:06:38.160
Well, I I saw people making decisions based on aesthetics.
00:06:38.480 --> 00:06:45.920
And then it turns out, you know, I'd get a phone call a year or two or three later, and they said, this phone, this home does not fit us.
00:06:46.160 --> 00:06:51.040
And, you know, we we loved it because it had, in this case nowadays, quartz countertops.
00:06:51.199 --> 00:06:54.959
Um, now gray's out, and so like warmer colors are in.
00:06:55.040 --> 00:07:06.079
And we loved the warm feel of it, it's whatever is in at the time without addressing those lower level needs, um, like physicalities of it, like is it close enough to work?
00:07:06.160 --> 00:07:07.360
Uh or something changed.
00:07:07.519 --> 00:07:10.879
I need to get to the airport more often now, and I'm an hour and a half away.
00:07:11.040 --> 00:07:11.360
Yeah.
00:07:11.519 --> 00:07:16.720
Um, you know, my mom is sick and I need to move her in and all those kind of things.
00:07:16.959 --> 00:07:17.120
Yeah.
00:07:17.279 --> 00:07:31.199
And so usually something's changing, but I see people making decisions based on higher level needs without considering, oh gosh, I thought I wanted to live in the city, but the sirens keep me up at night and now it's a physiological problem.
00:07:31.519 --> 00:07:32.000
Right.
00:07:32.399 --> 00:07:34.480
Yeah, that's so interesting because it it's true.
00:07:34.560 --> 00:07:40.879
Like, I think we're, I mean, especially now with Instagram and everything, like we're so drawn to how things look.
00:07:41.120 --> 00:07:41.519
Yes.
00:07:41.759 --> 00:07:48.879
And equating, like, you know, how something looks to us from a distance to how that makes us feel.
00:07:49.360 --> 00:07:56.560
And then making decisions based on that when you're right, like there is definitely something to how you feel, like, of course.
00:07:56.720 --> 00:07:59.199
But are you frustrated or yeah, yeah.
00:07:59.680 --> 00:08:11.040
But then also mixing it with, okay, like I talk a lot about friction and you know those kind of friction points that stop you from doing the things you want to do.
00:08:11.279 --> 00:08:11.519
Yes.
00:08:11.680 --> 00:08:16.480
So I think it's like, yeah, do you really know what you want to do with your space?
00:08:16.639 --> 00:08:18.240
Do you know how you want to live in it?
00:08:18.399 --> 00:08:20.959
And that's like a bigger question.
00:08:21.519 --> 00:08:22.000
It is.
00:08:22.160 --> 00:08:26.399
And it starts with the homeowner or the the the person living in the home.
00:08:26.879 --> 00:08:28.959
And it's, you know, who are you?
00:08:29.199 --> 00:08:31.839
And what are you doing that you don't want to be doing?
00:08:31.920 --> 00:08:35.440
And what are you not doing that you want to be doing?
00:08:35.600 --> 00:08:39.200
Like what is the essential core of you and are you living that life?
00:08:39.360 --> 00:08:44.000
And how can you change your home environment to help you be that person you want to be?
00:08:44.320 --> 00:08:44.639
Yeah.
00:08:45.279 --> 00:08:55.600
And I wonder if there's um like any ways that you've noticed with with people how like their home is either supporting them or working against them.
00:08:55.759 --> 00:08:56.080
Right.
00:08:56.240 --> 00:09:04.159
And like how I don't know, like our home kind of shapes that like our energy, our peace, our identity.
00:09:04.320 --> 00:09:06.000
And we often don't notice it.
00:09:06.159 --> 00:09:15.440
So, like, are there things that come up um about how our home supports us or doesn't that that we may not kind of notice?
00:09:16.000 --> 00:09:16.559
Absolutely.
00:09:16.799 --> 00:09:18.799
It can be unconscious sometimes.
00:09:19.039 --> 00:09:22.879
Um, I've had a client who was just like, I just don't like entertaining in this house.
00:09:22.960 --> 00:09:24.240
It was a very vertical.
00:09:24.480 --> 00:09:27.919
She wanted to see all her guests and walk out to a pool area.
00:09:28.000 --> 00:09:32.000
And so this is a very high-level need of love and belonging, really.
00:09:32.159 --> 00:09:37.200
Yeah, it's really in the middle of Maslow's hierarchy, which is what I've based my needs on.
00:09:37.440 --> 00:09:43.039
Um, and so that's actually a fairly low-level need is love and belonging, and then esteem right above it.
00:09:43.200 --> 00:09:48.960
She wanted to be able to see all her guests and and talk to them and see that everyone was having fun.
00:09:49.120 --> 00:09:53.039
But she had four different levels and some were outside and somewhere in the kitchen.
00:09:53.120 --> 00:10:10.159
And and that was the main thing for her is she wanted to have a walkout pool area, a large gathering space, and a yard where she could have, she could entertain entertainment, which is one of the spokes, was one of the most important areas for her, you know, empty nesters.
00:10:10.240 --> 00:10:14.080
So, like, you know, you've gotten to a place in life where it's like, what do I want to do?
00:10:14.240 --> 00:10:15.519
Well, I want to entertain people.
00:10:15.759 --> 00:10:20.639
I want to, you know, see my friends, I want to bring family back in, kids and grandkids and have space.
00:10:20.960 --> 00:10:29.519
And so her home is um was developed around love, belonging, esteem, and entertaining, not just aesthetics because where she lived was beautiful.
00:10:29.679 --> 00:10:30.000
Yeah.
00:10:30.240 --> 00:10:37.440
Um, so yeah, you have to pinpoint what the pain point is at that stage of life and then try to fix it.
00:10:37.919 --> 00:10:38.399
Yeah.
00:10:38.639 --> 00:10:48.159
Well, and I like, I mean, how you took something that I mean to to some people could look like a superficial need, right?
00:10:48.399 --> 00:10:53.360
Like when you look at that, you could be like, oh, you know, okay, that's not a need.
00:10:53.679 --> 00:11:05.360
But you know, but actually when you go down to the core of it, yes, you're recognizing that, yeah, love and belonging, connection, community, like whatever, you know, at the root of it, it is.
00:11:05.600 --> 00:11:13.519
So then and and she's a giver, so she'll hold the the baby shower, she'll hold the wedding, she she wants to celebrate people.
00:11:14.000 --> 00:11:19.120
And so when you put it that way, it becomes less superficial and more of whatever her gift is.
00:11:19.360 --> 00:11:20.799
Yeah, absolutely.
00:11:21.039 --> 00:11:23.759
And then you can look at your space a little bit differently.
00:11:23.840 --> 00:11:37.919
Like let's say it's not necessarily that you could move or renovate, but that you could then start to look at how you can use your space to um align with those needs and yeah, you know, with the deeper.
00:11:38.320 --> 00:11:48.240
Not only your needs, but what is your gift to so the foundation of this whole assessment is myself, who am I mastery?
00:11:48.320 --> 00:11:49.519
What have I mastered?
00:11:49.759 --> 00:11:52.879
Um that that is a gift of mine.
00:11:53.279 --> 00:12:00.000
Um in her case, it's entertaining, truly, and and an eye for a beautiful environment that people enjoy.
00:12:00.240 --> 00:12:12.720
And so then her mission now is to have people in her home that she celebrates their milestones in their life: a a retirement, a baby shower, a wedding shower, a birthday, Christmas, all the things.
00:12:13.279 --> 00:12:17.039
Um and then the fourth one is mates, the four M's.
00:12:17.279 --> 00:12:23.279
Who do you surround yourself with that see you and support your mission in life and who you are?
00:12:23.600 --> 00:12:24.639
See the real you.
00:12:24.879 --> 00:12:25.360
Yeah.
00:12:25.600 --> 00:12:30.720
So you so maybe we could actually talk a little bit more about that than that, like so.
00:12:30.799 --> 00:12:36.320
You start with the assessment, yeah, looking at what your gifts are.
00:12:36.559 --> 00:12:37.840
Yeah, like who are you?
00:12:38.000 --> 00:12:49.440
For example, I'm a personality theory with part of my human resource development was uh Myers Briggs assessments, and I'm into Enneagram now and the disc and the I mean, I've taken every single one and I'm fascinated.
00:12:49.759 --> 00:12:50.720
But like, are you?
00:12:50.879 --> 00:12:52.960
I wasn't being myself for a very long time.
00:12:53.120 --> 00:12:56.159
I was doing accounting, but I'm a creative extrovert.
00:12:56.639 --> 00:13:00.960
And so that didn't, a lot of things weren't lining up, including my home at the time.
00:13:01.200 --> 00:13:03.759
And so I recognize the person first.
00:13:04.159 --> 00:13:09.120
And even if they don't want to take a personality test, I'm pretty attuned to getting them.
00:13:09.279 --> 00:13:10.399
Are they detail-oriented?
00:13:10.639 --> 00:13:11.519
Are they left-brained?
00:13:11.600 --> 00:13:13.840
Are they, you know, what how do they thrive?
00:13:14.080 --> 00:13:16.159
So it's myself and then mastery.
00:13:16.320 --> 00:13:18.879
So, like, what are they, what are they doing?
00:13:19.039 --> 00:13:20.480
What are they doing with their lives?
00:13:20.559 --> 00:13:22.720
And or what's do they have a hobby even?
00:13:22.960 --> 00:13:26.240
Because sometimes our work is not what our passion is, right?
00:13:26.399 --> 00:13:27.039
Sometimes.
00:13:27.279 --> 00:13:29.200
But are do they have that in their life?
00:13:29.360 --> 00:13:44.159
And then uh on to are are they surrounding themselves for with people who really see them for who they are, whether it be their boss, their spouse, partner, um, friends, are they really being their true selves?
00:13:44.320 --> 00:13:55.600
And sometimes people are going through a reinvention uh midway through life, and they're like, Well, I always loved to paint and now I'm gonna start painting again, or I'm gonna start a podcast.
00:13:55.759 --> 00:14:01.679
Yeah, or I've made enough money, I'm now gonna develop a nonprofit because I care about this.
00:14:02.080 --> 00:14:02.480
Yeah.
00:14:03.200 --> 00:14:12.480
Well, I think I mean, I can just sort of align this with people listening, and I think a lot of them are women and they're, you know, very busy women.
00:14:12.639 --> 00:14:21.120
And I think the truth is a lot of us haven't spent a lot of time thinking about who we are, what our needs are, you know.
00:14:21.279 --> 00:14:27.840
Um, especially, you know, listeners to this podcast have a lot of clutter often, they're dealing with like a heavy mental load.
00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:33.679
You know, the the needs of others are sort of taking precedent um over themselves.
00:14:33.919 --> 00:14:39.759
And it is that sort of that time where you get to where you're interested in living more intentionally.
00:14:39.919 --> 00:14:40.240
Yes.
00:14:40.399 --> 00:14:45.039
Um children are raised, yeah, career is, you know, nearing nearing the end.
00:14:45.120 --> 00:14:46.879
Maybe you're shifting gears a little bit.
00:14:47.120 --> 00:14:47.360
Yeah.
00:14:47.519 --> 00:14:50.720
Or you kind of hit a wall and you're like, you know, I'm is this it?
00:14:50.960 --> 00:14:51.200
Yeah.
00:14:51.600 --> 00:14:51.919
Yeah.
00:14:52.080 --> 00:14:53.279
I'm not feeling happy.
00:14:53.360 --> 00:14:55.840
I'm just feeling tired and overwhelmed all the time.
00:14:56.080 --> 00:14:59.279
How do I figure out what I'm interested in?
00:14:59.519 --> 00:15:01.279
Yes, and what lights me up?
00:15:01.440 --> 00:15:04.720
And make a corner, a little, even a little corner somewhere.
00:15:04.960 --> 00:15:13.679
Yeah, you know, where you do your thing, whether it's reading literature, because you loved that when you were younger and it fills you up and it calms you down.
00:15:13.759 --> 00:15:16.639
Maybe you have a stressful job and you're more of an introvert.
00:15:16.720 --> 00:15:18.960
So let's make a little a quiet corner for you.
00:15:19.200 --> 00:15:19.440
Yeah.
00:15:19.519 --> 00:15:21.840
Um, it's about being you in your house.
00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:33.759
And if something is frustrating you, if you're resentful, if you're lonely, tired, scared, whatever it is, let's address that underlying pain point and fix something in your house.
00:15:34.000 --> 00:15:34.480
Yeah.
00:15:34.720 --> 00:15:35.039
Yeah.
00:15:35.200 --> 00:15:45.759
And so I'm curious, like, you know, because you do work with um women who are sort of largely in seasons of change, whether it's like divorce or empty nest or or whatever shift.
00:15:47.519 --> 00:15:56.879
That often like a lot of our homes are set up for sort of past versions of ourselves or not who we're trying to work towards becoming.
00:15:57.360 --> 00:16:06.559
So what are some small shifts or things that people can start to do with their spaces that can help support them a little bit more and that like more intentional path?
00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:19.039
Well, I mean, so first of all, pus push the pause button because many of us are overwhelmed and tired and we've kind of lost track of what it is that we wanted to do and be, even part-time.
00:16:19.279 --> 00:16:21.840
And so push the pause button and recognize that.
00:16:22.000 --> 00:16:29.519
And then somewhere in your home, there's a room or a space or even a drawer that drives you a little nutty.
00:16:29.840 --> 00:16:30.159
Right.
00:16:30.399 --> 00:16:36.159
And so it's cluttered, it's full of old things that you haven't had time to clean out.
00:16:36.399 --> 00:16:39.919
Um, maybe you're not going to tackle the whole room in one day.
00:16:40.080 --> 00:16:59.279
Pick a drawer, pick a shelf, pick a dresser, and just start cleaning stuff out, give it away, hold on to it, put it, you know, make a spart making a space for yourself or somebody else in the family, you know, could be a child who doesn't have room to um practice their instrument.
00:16:59.440 --> 00:17:12.240
And so it's it's in the main part of the house and you need them away in a quieter space away from you doing your thing, whatever that is, just really pause for a moment, walk through your home.
00:17:12.559 --> 00:17:17.920
And if you're passing a room and it uh let's use an example of an empty nester mom.
00:17:18.319 --> 00:17:20.319
The kids are gone, they live elsewhere.
00:17:20.400 --> 00:17:24.880
They the kids now have a room for them to come visit, but they're not coming back very often.
00:17:25.039 --> 00:17:25.359
Yeah.
00:17:25.759 --> 00:17:30.400
So they put you pass the room, it's still their room, and it makes you sad, right?
00:17:30.559 --> 00:17:30.720
Yeah.
00:17:30.880 --> 00:17:34.079
And you're like, well, I need to do something to fill this void.
00:17:34.240 --> 00:17:56.720
And so maybe you're starting a podcast, maybe you're knitting uh beanies for newborn babies, maybe you're, you know, whatever it is that's your passion, uh starting a nonprofit, going back to work, whatever it is, you need to repurpose that room or a portion of that room to fit the new part of you, the new stage of your life.
00:17:56.880 --> 00:18:14.160
Um, and this doesn't mean that you're not still going to be the best mom and also now the best grandma, but maybe you're also going to be the podcaster who talks about gardening or, you know, uh taking up a hobby to help, you know, to help little babies or whatever your passion is.
00:18:14.319 --> 00:18:17.759
Like I miss my babies, I'll go volunteer and hold the little babies.
00:18:17.920 --> 00:18:18.160
Yeah.
00:18:18.400 --> 00:18:20.799
Whatever it is, yeah, make space for it.
00:18:21.039 --> 00:18:21.440
Yeah.
00:18:21.599 --> 00:18:21.920
Yeah.
00:18:22.079 --> 00:18:26.960
Cause I think um a lot of women feel guilty about doing that kind of thing too, right?
00:18:27.200 --> 00:18:29.119
Just poking up space for themselves.
00:18:29.200 --> 00:18:31.599
And I don't really want that phase to be over.
00:18:31.759 --> 00:18:33.279
I can speak, you know, for myself.
00:18:33.440 --> 00:18:36.799
It's been 10 years since my my kids are in their 30s now.
00:18:36.960 --> 00:18:37.119
Yeah.
00:18:37.279 --> 00:18:45.359
And so since they've flown the coupe and I and I still see them, thankfully, but like I still have a lot of their stuff down the hall that I'm getting ready to clean out.
00:18:45.440 --> 00:18:52.480
And it's gonna make space for my staging and maybe a separate podcast studio with a different background.
00:18:52.640 --> 00:18:57.680
Um, so it's kind of like there, you know, it's kind of like my new stage of life.
00:18:57.920 --> 00:18:58.319
Yeah.
00:18:58.480 --> 00:18:58.799
Yeah.
00:18:59.279 --> 00:19:01.839
But it is, it's a hard transition, I'm sure, for a lot of people.
00:19:02.160 --> 00:19:03.839
Yeah, it's taken me 10 years.
00:19:04.079 --> 00:19:04.640
Yeah.
00:19:04.880 --> 00:19:09.759
But I have I have whittled it down to uh just a you know, 20 boxes now.
00:19:09.839 --> 00:19:10.480
Yeah.
00:19:12.079 --> 00:19:13.039
I'm getting there.
00:19:13.119 --> 00:19:13.279
Yeah.
00:19:13.440 --> 00:19:15.200
I understand your pain, folks.
00:19:15.680 --> 00:19:21.279
Well, it's a good, it's I mean, it's good for people to hear too because it is, you know, a process as you go through this, right?
00:19:21.519 --> 00:19:22.400
It's a process, yes.
00:19:22.799 --> 00:19:26.400
Overnight become, you know, somebody totally different.
00:19:26.559 --> 00:19:28.960
And that's like and let's be intentional.
00:19:29.039 --> 00:19:29.200
Yeah.
00:19:29.440 --> 00:19:44.480
Because oftentimes I, you know, I see some people, depends on their personality, panic a little bit and not make a quick decision, you know, to like I'm I'm bored, I'm lonely, I'm gonna change my life, I'm gonna move to whatever, or I'm going to start doing this.
00:19:44.720 --> 00:19:52.720
But have they really it's really a panic, uh, a panic decision because they don't want to sit with that loneliness or the fear.
00:19:52.799 --> 00:20:01.119
And I I hate to say I've watched people move a couple of times um trying to fix something that they didn't actually think through.
00:20:01.200 --> 00:20:03.680
So I think the pause button is very valuable.
00:20:04.319 --> 00:20:16.720
Yeah, I agree with that too, because I think um through the whole process of change, you also may initially have been drawn to something that then you discover is not the right thing.
00:20:16.880 --> 00:20:18.480
And like, you know, and that's okay.
00:20:18.799 --> 00:20:19.039
Yeah.
00:20:19.200 --> 00:20:35.680
And I think that that speaks to when you have spent a long time, you know, caring for others or thinking of others, you know, before yourself, that you have to reacquaint yourself with yourself to understand, you know, oh, this is actually what I like.
00:20:35.839 --> 00:20:37.119
And I thought it was this.
00:20:37.279 --> 00:20:50.640
But if you haven't really thought of your own needs very much or spent a lot of time doing things that you enjoy or you think you enjoy for a long time, then it's gonna take a little bit of um trial and error to figure out what it is.
00:20:51.599 --> 00:20:59.039
And that, and along the way, it's like you pick up little things that you enjoy, and then you know, it's it's not a bad idea to change your mind.
00:20:59.119 --> 00:21:05.920
Like, oh, I thought I was going to like, okay, I tried a Peloton one time and I and I was like, everyone's doing it.
00:21:06.000 --> 00:21:07.039
I'm gonna love it, right?
00:21:07.200 --> 00:21:17.599
And um, and I come to find out I'm an extrovert and I like to go to a class and I have a bad back, so I really shouldn't be sitting uh for exercise.
00:21:17.759 --> 00:21:22.480
I already sit for my job a lot of in the in the car or at the computer.
00:21:22.720 --> 00:21:26.880
And so I walk and I do yoga and I golf and I lift weights at a gym.
00:21:27.039 --> 00:21:33.759
Yeah, but I tried that Peloton and there it sat in a room, and when I'd pass it, I'd feel guilty because I wasn't using it.
00:21:33.839 --> 00:21:42.319
And that was like, oh, I have that's I need to get rid of that because it is it's um it's like uh a reminder.
00:21:42.559 --> 00:21:49.039
A reminder of what I'm not doing and not enjoying and what I wasted money on, and some, you know, all the things.
00:21:49.119 --> 00:21:53.200
And so, like, get that out of my house, yeah, and let somebody else enjoy it.
00:21:53.359 --> 00:21:55.599
Someone was very happy to pay me cash for it.
00:21:55.839 --> 00:21:58.640
And so I no longer have guilt as I pass the room.
00:21:58.960 --> 00:21:59.759
It's funny you say that.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:14.000
Because I recently interviewed somebody who's created this amazing marketplace largely for uh exercise equipment, but like, you know, uh like more expensive items because it's you know their whole uh the service that's encapsulated with it.
00:22:14.160 --> 00:22:22.160
But it's really interesting because that's one of the things that I really think um a lot of people have hanging around in their homes is exercise equipment.
00:22:22.319 --> 00:22:22.799
Sure they can.
00:22:23.119 --> 00:22:29.200
And, you know, because it's such a big purchase and you, you know, you could link this to anything in your home, I think, really.
00:22:29.279 --> 00:22:36.000
Like if you make a big purchase because you think this is who you're gonna be and this is the identity you're gonna, you know, embody.
00:22:36.240 --> 00:22:54.960
And then it doesn't really work out that, you know, I really think that we should give ourselves a little more grace with this stuff because there is a really, I think there's a lot of greatness in being willing to try things, you know, and to like test them out and see if there's something that you're into.
00:22:55.039 --> 00:23:19.119
And then if you're not, or you are for a time and that changes, that like you're embracing the sort of transitional nature of our identity sometimes, you know, that there's pieces of it are that are gonna grow and change, and other pieces may, you know, really stay firmly rooted in who we are, but but like naturally we we have to change over this lifetime.
00:23:19.440 --> 00:23:20.079
We do.
00:23:20.400 --> 00:23:24.000
And I love that the transitional nature of our identity.
00:23:24.240 --> 00:23:25.920
I love that the way that you put that.
00:23:26.079 --> 00:23:27.279
That's uh that's great.
00:23:27.599 --> 00:23:28.240
Yeah, yeah.
00:23:28.400 --> 00:23:39.279
You know, I I think like I recently um got divorced and I've moved and you know, I'm I'm sort of shifting into doing this work full-time, and I've done a lot of transition in the last couple of years.
00:23:39.440 --> 00:24:01.839
And I I really have reflected a lot on this because I think when I relate it to intentional living and I think about my clients and all the transitions they've experienced, like there really is something to, I think we were kind of sold that like at least a piece of us is like we're this person and this is who we are, and like, you know, certain things don't change.
00:24:02.000 --> 00:24:26.240
And and I think that when we can let go of that a little bit more and look at the fact that, you know, there's gonna be these multiple versions of you in a lifetime and and even coexisting at the same time, you know, like you can be a mother and you know, a realtor or like a friend and a daughter, and you know, like all the pieces of you at the same time.
00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:30.160
Yeah, but I don't know that we really have looked at ourselves that way.
00:24:30.400 --> 00:24:38.000
We've really looked at ourselves as like one person, and yes, I think we're more multifaceted than that.
00:24:38.240 --> 00:24:39.279
I think we are too.
00:24:39.440 --> 00:24:44.319
And on different days, sometimes you're different things because you have to switch your focus.
00:24:44.799 --> 00:25:06.240
And so some days I'm more of a realtor, and some days I'm a writer, and some days I'm a gardener, and some days I'm just a creative, like thinking of, you know, just letting my my mind, if I have space, letting my mind do its thing and on a walk, coming up with creative ideas, which I can't do when I'm reviewing contracts.
00:25:06.480 --> 00:25:07.680
And right.
00:25:07.759 --> 00:25:11.440
So you have to like rec recognize those different facets of yourself.
00:25:11.759 --> 00:25:18.799
But in in my work, I also say set your lifestyle up and in your environment up to encourage those different facets.
00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:20.960
Different rooms have different purposes.
00:25:21.200 --> 00:25:28.640
Um I just took a walk in some neighborhoods with a bunch of trees, and I'm a podcast junkie, so I listen to a podcast.
00:25:28.720 --> 00:25:35.279
And so I know I don't, you know, I know I need to live in a certain neighborhood that I can take a walk like that.
00:25:35.440 --> 00:25:35.680
Yeah.
00:25:35.839 --> 00:25:36.640
Um, right.
00:25:36.799 --> 00:25:45.599
And so if you know that about yourself, then you can set up your home environment to really, like you said, support all the facets of who you are.
00:25:45.839 --> 00:25:46.400
Yeah.
00:25:46.640 --> 00:25:50.880
Yeah, it's like, you know, collecting little bits of data too, right?
00:25:50.960 --> 00:25:57.359
Like, you know, uh similar to you actually, because I just moved and I was thinking about all these things as I was trying to decide where to move.
00:25:57.519 --> 00:26:06.559
And one of them was that like my last neighborhood I didn't find was very walkable in some aspects, you know, like there were certain things that were great about it and certain things that weren't.
00:26:06.720 --> 00:26:10.400
And that I've just been embracing how much more I like my new neighborhood for walking.
00:26:10.559 --> 00:26:23.200
And but I think that those are little bits of data that you can kind of collect about yourself where you start to see, you know, I think back to what you said initially was like sort of noticing um things that you don't like too, right?
00:26:23.279 --> 00:26:24.400
And and yeah.
00:26:24.480 --> 00:26:24.640
Yeah.
00:26:24.720 --> 00:26:26.559
And then how do you know until you try it?
00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:27.920
Yeah, yeah.
00:26:28.160 --> 00:26:49.039
So I mean, I don't know how do you like if you were to sort of speak to someone who was trying to figure out how they could be more intentional with their space and they wanted it to support this version of them that they're working towards, what are maybe some questions or some thoughts that they could um start with to help them?
00:26:49.759 --> 00:27:05.839
Well, I think the biggest thing is, you know, if you could go around the eight areas of the wheel of life, and there are many versions, but the one that I use is finance, health, environment, career, romance, fun and leisure, or entertainment, and what do you like to do for fun and how do you like to relax?
00:27:06.400 --> 00:27:09.440
And the last two are spirituality and family and friends.
00:27:09.920 --> 00:27:15.839
When you go through those eight areas, does one stick out to you as being having a deficit?
00:27:16.000 --> 00:27:18.480
Like from one to ten, is it a two or a three?
00:27:18.720 --> 00:27:27.519
Like um, let's use an extreme example of um I'm about to have my fourth child and we live in a uh three-bedroom house.
00:27:27.759 --> 00:27:28.079
Yeah.
00:27:28.319 --> 00:27:28.640
Okay.
00:27:28.799 --> 00:27:33.200
And we have two dogs, whatever the case may be, or you know, or a two-bedroom condo.
00:27:33.279 --> 00:27:34.400
It's time to go.
00:27:35.200 --> 00:27:36.799
And so that's very obvious.
00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:40.240
And so the the deficit there was uh family and friends.
00:27:40.480 --> 00:27:44.000
We need hard for the dogs, we need, you know, four bedrooms.
00:27:44.160 --> 00:27:46.720
Okay, well, but then also let's now think about career.
00:27:46.880 --> 00:27:49.119
Well, one of us works from home, right?
00:27:49.359 --> 00:27:52.720
We need an office, and we need what to what do we need?
00:27:52.880 --> 00:27:57.759
And um health-wise, um, you know, what could it be?
00:27:57.920 --> 00:28:07.519
Oh, uh, so and so Jamie has allergies, and so we need to, you know, uh severe food allergies, we need to live close to a hospital just in case.
00:28:07.680 --> 00:28:25.839
Yes, and so you go around the wheel, you figure out the primary one that's low, and then you can either fix you can stay and repurpose a room or change something, you can go, which means move, or you can renovate, you can stay, go, or reno.
00:28:26.319 --> 00:28:29.200
And so what do you what are your choices there?
00:28:29.279 --> 00:28:39.839
So you go through a list of questions in each of those areas once you pinpoint, you know, the problem areas to ascertain what's wrong in my current house.
00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:40.160
Yeah.
00:28:40.319 --> 00:28:43.839
Can I stay and fix it, or can I move?
00:28:44.079 --> 00:28:45.039
Yeah, yeah.
00:28:45.279 --> 00:28:54.720
Yeah, I like that, you know, using those different areas because it, I mean, it's I'm sure that there's also areas of our life that we completely neglect thinking about as well.
00:28:54.960 --> 00:28:55.839
We don't even think about them.
00:28:55.920 --> 00:28:58.640
Yeah, like spirituality, people just they're too busy.
00:28:58.799 --> 00:28:59.119
Yeah.
00:28:59.359 --> 00:29:09.599
But it's very much proven if you and spirituality can be yoga, it can be walking in nature, it can be religion, whatever, whatever it is to the person.
00:29:09.839 --> 00:29:12.240
Um, but uh people neglect that when they get busy.
00:29:12.319 --> 00:29:24.799
And then um once they once they do put some more meditative areas, whatever the case may be, some green space, more light, yeah, um, and walk or walk in nature, plant a garden, um, they become happier.
00:29:25.039 --> 00:29:25.440
Yeah.
00:29:26.160 --> 00:29:27.359
They notice that part.
00:29:27.599 --> 00:29:34.400
Yeah, because it, I mean, it's one of those things I'm sure that in the day-to-day life sort of falls to the wayside, right?
00:29:34.480 --> 00:29:38.880
Because we get in this like triage way of living sometimes, right?
00:29:38.960 --> 00:29:44.640
Where it's so busy and it's like, oh, well, this has to happen and this has to happen, but this doesn't really have to happen.
00:29:44.720 --> 00:29:46.319
So forget that till later.
00:29:46.480 --> 00:29:47.920
And it just doesn't.
00:29:48.079 --> 00:29:50.319
So I like you're like, you're kind of flat.
00:29:50.559 --> 00:29:50.960
Yeah.
00:29:51.839 --> 00:29:59.759
But that framework to give you sort of a checklist, like a beginning place to look at things to say and ideas, you know, examples.
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:00.240
Yeah.
00:30:00.480 --> 00:30:02.640
Of how how to what does that mean?
00:30:02.720 --> 00:30:05.759
You know, what is what kind of joy does that mean to you?
00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:08.400
I mean, are you spiritual with a group of people?
00:30:08.559 --> 00:30:19.519
You like that better, having you know, a circle of uh like-minded folks, or would you rather, you know, meditate or pray or read or what whatever that is to you?
00:30:19.680 --> 00:30:24.240
And it's it does again take some time to figure that out.
00:30:24.559 --> 00:30:41.920
Yeah, but it it really um I think is a good sort of jumping off place for people because I really do find, and this is just like over the years that I've done this, I really do find that when I say to somebody that I'm working with, what is it that you want?
00:30:42.079 --> 00:30:44.480
Like what do you envision your life like?
00:30:44.559 --> 00:30:47.680
Or, you know, how how do you want to be living?
00:30:47.920 --> 00:30:55.039
I really don't ask that question so much, you know, that way anymore because um it's such a big question.
00:30:55.279 --> 00:30:56.079
It's so broad.
00:30:56.240 --> 00:30:56.480
Yeah.
00:30:56.720 --> 00:30:57.039
Right.
00:30:57.440 --> 00:31:08.319
And I think that some people may very well like have clear answers to that, but more so I think um it's about like how do you want to feel?
00:31:08.400 --> 00:31:12.880
Like, you know, what are the things that you want to feel on a regular basis?
00:31:13.039 --> 00:31:22.640
And then you can start to look at what can create those feelings versus like, you know, who who do you want to be or how do you want to be spending your time?
00:31:22.960 --> 00:31:26.240
Because yeah, I don't know if some people know some they want to spend their time.
00:31:26.559 --> 00:31:32.480
I've met can skip right over those four M's because like I've had couples that's like I'm like, they're great.
00:31:32.720 --> 00:31:34.720
Like we don't have any foundational issues.
00:31:34.799 --> 00:31:35.279
I can tell.
00:31:35.359 --> 00:31:38.319
They know who they are, they're great supportive of each other.
00:31:38.559 --> 00:31:40.960
Let's just go find a new house and what are we trying to fix?
00:31:41.119 --> 00:31:43.359
So we just go right into that eight areas.
00:31:43.519 --> 00:31:49.759
We don't have to address, we don't have to go back and address anything in their foundation, and that's that's lovely.
00:31:50.880 --> 00:31:54.960
Yeah, but not everybody has I think that that kind of clarity.
00:31:55.200 --> 00:31:58.799
They don't a lot of people don't, especially if uh something's just changed.
00:31:58.960 --> 00:31:59.200
Yeah.
00:31:59.839 --> 00:32:01.279
It's like, okay, who am I now?
00:32:01.440 --> 00:32:01.759
Yeah.
00:32:01.920 --> 00:32:05.920
Or if there's a big change, it's it oftentimes involves a move.
00:32:06.160 --> 00:32:06.559
Yeah.
00:32:06.720 --> 00:32:07.279
Yeah.
00:32:07.599 --> 00:32:16.480
And it's, I mean, you know, I think it can be a great opportunity, but I think it also, you know, is paired with lots of feelings.
00:32:16.720 --> 00:32:24.480
And it can be hard when you're dealing with heavy feelings to think with a lot of clarity around absolutely what you want.
00:32:24.559 --> 00:32:25.279
Or yeah.
00:32:25.440 --> 00:32:40.000
And I think what the exercise does, the wheelhouse assessment, is it it makes you think about those eight areas and brain, there's a series of questions in each area rising up from physiological needs to aesthetic, which is you know, building.
00:32:40.240 --> 00:32:40.480
Yeah.
00:32:40.640 --> 00:32:44.160
Um, it makes you it's like, oh gosh, I had never thought of that.
00:32:44.400 --> 00:32:44.799
Yeah.
00:32:45.039 --> 00:32:48.640
You know, a question that you have maybe had never thought of.
00:32:48.880 --> 00:32:50.319
Um, yeah.
00:32:50.559 --> 00:32:54.079
And, you know, you think of like health needs.
00:32:54.400 --> 00:33:00.000
Um, well, I live in I live in the cold and I hadn't really thought about how much it's affecting my health.
00:33:00.079 --> 00:33:00.240
Yeah.
00:33:00.480 --> 00:33:03.839
You know, because I've just my family lives here, I've always lived here and things like that.
00:33:04.000 --> 00:33:11.039
So it just really is an in an inventory of your needs in each area and which ones are being met and which aren't.
00:33:11.279 --> 00:33:15.599
And sometimes it's like, oh yeah, I never really thought about it, but that does make me uncomfortable.
00:33:15.839 --> 00:33:16.160
Yeah.
00:33:16.400 --> 00:33:16.880
You know?
00:33:17.279 --> 00:33:18.799
Yeah, absolutely.
00:33:18.960 --> 00:33:34.000
Um, I think that it's I think very relatable for anybody listening that there are things that we've just accepted as they've always been there, or this is the way we've always done things, or they've always done this in that room.
00:33:34.240 --> 00:33:38.799
Or you know, yeah, or that's grandma's furniture.
00:33:39.200 --> 00:33:39.599
Yeah.
00:33:40.720 --> 00:33:48.160
But you know, um maybe it's not working in the room, and maybe you can gift it to another family member.
00:33:48.960 --> 00:33:49.519
I don't know.
00:33:49.680 --> 00:33:53.599
That's a tough one because you know, again, a guilt is involved in a lot of this stuff.
00:33:53.680 --> 00:33:56.960
Like I've always done this, and this is what people are expecting me to do.
00:33:57.279 --> 00:33:59.680
And I've I I don't want to try this new thing.
00:33:59.759 --> 00:34:01.119
What are people going to say?
00:34:01.519 --> 00:34:01.920
Yeah.
00:34:02.319 --> 00:34:03.440
You know, uh-huh.
00:34:03.680 --> 00:34:04.640
I definitely do.
00:34:04.720 --> 00:34:13.360
And I think that um, you know, again, like I talk a lot about clutter on this podcast because it's a a huge factor for people listening.
00:34:13.440 --> 00:34:32.079
You know, they want to declutter, they want to deal with creating space for themselves, but things like that are what come into it, you know, sentimental items, or you know, there's an expectation attached to it, or you know, they feel like if they get rid of this, then so and so is gonna judge them.
00:34:32.239 --> 00:34:39.119
And I always tell this story because I think that hardly anybody has probably actually experienced this.
00:34:39.360 --> 00:34:47.599
But um, when I did get married, uh, my sister-in-law gave us these sort of some china pieces, I guess.
00:34:47.760 --> 00:34:50.000
You know, there was like a pitcher and a few things.
00:34:50.239 --> 00:34:51.599
And neither of us really liked it.
00:34:51.760 --> 00:34:54.880
Like it was very like brightly colored and just not not our thing.
00:34:54.960 --> 00:34:56.400
And so, you know, I kept it for a while.
00:34:56.480 --> 00:34:58.960
It was in a cupboard for like a couple of years.
00:34:59.119 --> 00:35:02.559
And then when I moved, um, I got rid of it.
00:35:03.119 --> 00:35:07.039
And so when I moved, um, she kept asking me where it was.
00:35:08.639 --> 00:35:12.320
No, and the first time I said, Oh, it must be packed in the basement still.
00:35:12.400 --> 00:35:13.840
I haven't unpacked it yet.
00:35:14.000 --> 00:35:17.519
You know, just thinking that she would let it lie and that I wouldn't hear about it again.
00:35:17.679 --> 00:35:18.320
But it came back.
00:35:18.400 --> 00:35:21.519
And then she said, Well, if you really don't like it, I'd like it back.
00:35:22.880 --> 00:35:23.519
Oh no.
00:35:23.760 --> 00:35:27.199
I said to her, I'm like, you know what, it what it didn't suit us that we we got rid of it.
00:35:27.280 --> 00:35:31.440
And I just told her, but you know, I think that it's hard.
00:35:31.599 --> 00:35:37.679
It's so rare that anybody would actually have that uncomfortable an experience or like that.
00:35:37.920 --> 00:35:41.280
So um, I tell people that to make them feel better.
00:35:42.960 --> 00:35:44.079
That's so funny.
00:35:44.239 --> 00:35:54.639
Well, I think all of us have sentimental items in our house, you know, and they they're good, but but you know what I think clutter is sometimes is unresolved emotions.
00:35:55.599 --> 00:36:06.000
Sometimes, not all the time, sometimes we're just busy, you know, and we like I know that stack of papers needs to be filed or whatever, thrown, whatever, but I'm I'm running out the door again.
00:36:06.079 --> 00:36:06.719
I'll get to it.
00:36:06.800 --> 00:36:06.960
Yeah.
00:36:07.119 --> 00:36:10.480
And so, like, you know, weeks later, it's you know, something you have to deal with.
00:36:10.800 --> 00:36:16.800
But however, I mean, sometimes I think people get stuck.
00:36:17.599 --> 00:36:28.320
And sometimes the clutter is just if I they'll have to face feelings where they're holding their mother's wedding gown.
00:36:28.639 --> 00:36:31.599
Or and it's like, okay, both my parents are gone.
00:36:31.679 --> 00:36:36.960
If I throw this away, it's like it's really final, like it's really accepting that they're gone.
00:36:37.119 --> 00:36:39.599
Yeah, and it's it's hard, and I understand that.
00:36:39.679 --> 00:36:43.360
I'm very empathetic with, I'm a very intuitive, empathetic person.
00:36:43.440 --> 00:36:44.800
Yeah, so I understand that.
00:36:44.880 --> 00:36:51.199
And so I, you know, but I I have seen people get a little bit stuck with things.
00:36:51.440 --> 00:36:52.880
Yeah, for sure.
00:36:53.199 --> 00:37:23.599
And I think that that's, I mean, again, I really do believe there's a bit of a process to it, but when you have that, you know, idea or that vision of what you want and how you want to be living or how you want to feel in your home, that, you know, the more you can kind of connect to that on an ongoing basis and then you make decisions around your stuff based on that, um, it does really shift things in that like you're like, okay, I know I want to get rid of, you know, grandma's China.
00:37:23.760 --> 00:37:25.440
I know that I don't want to keep it.
00:37:25.599 --> 00:37:31.280
I'm just not right at the point where I'm ready to let go of it, or you know, that those sentimental things can take time.
00:37:31.519 --> 00:37:31.840
Yeah.
00:37:32.159 --> 00:37:47.679
But also, I mean, the other piece that I really think is a big factor in the busyness is, you know, that women carry this really big mental load and that the busyness could often for for people be distributed more, right?
00:37:47.760 --> 00:38:13.199
And then you you're not so busy um with as much, you know, like not everything is necessarily your responsibility or yours to hold on to, and that it could be distributed a little differently in your household, and then it might not feel like you're holding all the cards for all the things that need to get done, but then also being like the decision maker around the stuff and the clutter.
00:38:13.360 --> 00:38:26.159
And so, like you're always too busy to do it because you know, you're you're holding so much, and then like you said, you add in that layer of emotion when it comes to something that's sentimental or you're worried about being judged and that kind of thing.
00:38:26.239 --> 00:38:33.519
And it just, you know, it's like the perfect storm of things where it just stays and it stays for a long time.
00:38:33.920 --> 00:38:38.639
It does, and it it adds on to you know, all of the things that we have to think about.
00:38:39.199 --> 00:38:45.760
You know, the clutter that you see prevents you from thinking about something more progressive.
00:38:45.920 --> 00:38:46.239
Yeah.
00:38:46.400 --> 00:38:58.159
Because it it holds you back, it puts guilt on you, it redirects your attention to something from the past as opposed to a project you could be working on, um, or just walking out the door with a clear mind.
00:38:58.400 --> 00:38:58.719
Yeah.
00:38:58.880 --> 00:39:00.239
I think you're absolutely right.
00:39:00.400 --> 00:39:06.719
That's really well put because it is then, you know, this stuff does keep us tied to past versions.
00:39:06.960 --> 00:39:10.079
And it really is hard to let go.
00:39:10.159 --> 00:39:16.079
Like I, you know, my my listeners know my mom passed away about two years ago, and you know, I cleared out her house.
00:39:16.159 --> 00:39:36.880
And, you know, I've sort of, I mean, really just having moved, I think I've tackled the last box of things that you know came from her and and you know, I had to make decisions about, but that it it is um, yeah, it is heavy to go through that, but it is a decision about what do you really want to bring forward?
00:39:37.039 --> 00:39:44.559
You know, like and I knew that I wanted to come into this space and have it feel really light and bright and easy.
00:39:44.800 --> 00:39:45.840
It is very light and bright.
00:39:45.920 --> 00:39:46.559
I love your background.
00:39:46.719 --> 00:39:58.880
Yeah, I think but I was like, you know, every time I think about that, like I just put a few things at the curb the other day because I was like, okay, these were things I chose for my mom's, but they're not really contributing to that feeling.
00:39:59.039 --> 00:40:00.480
I have other things, you know.
00:40:00.639 --> 00:40:12.320
But yeah, like it's it's it's really holding on to, like you said, who you want to be and like separating from the past version of yourself and then making decisions on that.
00:40:12.480 --> 00:40:14.000
And you know, it takes time.
00:40:14.239 --> 00:40:16.239
It's it's kind of like Marie Kondo.
00:40:16.400 --> 00:40:17.119
Do you know who she is?
00:40:17.440 --> 00:40:19.360
Yes meets Tony Robbins.
00:40:19.519 --> 00:40:20.159
Yeah.
00:40:20.400 --> 00:40:21.199
That's true.
00:40:23.119 --> 00:40:24.880
Yeah, I like her technology.
00:40:25.119 --> 00:40:30.000
I mean, she's so teeny and he's he's just bigger than life, but it's a great, you know, it's a great visual.
00:40:30.159 --> 00:40:30.400
Yeah.
00:40:30.480 --> 00:40:32.159
Um, just combine the two of them.
00:40:32.400 --> 00:40:32.719
Yeah.
00:40:32.960 --> 00:40:44.079
Well, it's funny because whenever, like, you know, people in my you know, my real life ask me what I do, and I try to explain it, and I'm like, well, it's like decluttering, but it's also like, you know, life stuff.
00:40:44.719 --> 00:40:45.280
That's right.
00:40:45.519 --> 00:40:48.800
Because you're you're Tony Robbins and Marie Kondo.
00:40:50.079 --> 00:40:51.119
The best possible way.
00:40:51.519 --> 00:40:51.760
Yeah.
00:40:58.800 --> 00:41:06.400
It prevents you from using your space the way you want to use your space for the things that you know take you towards where you're and guess what?
00:41:06.480 --> 00:41:16.480
It for anyone holding on to grandma's China, although I kind of wish I had my great-grandmother's China back right now because it's becoming very popular with the young people.
00:41:16.719 --> 00:41:16.960
Yeah.
00:41:17.119 --> 00:41:19.280
And um, they call it grandma core.
00:41:19.760 --> 00:41:22.880
And they are buying it up in droves, like estate sales.
00:41:22.960 --> 00:41:29.119
The young people are coming in to buy up all the chatka from the 70s and 80s and even earlier.
00:41:29.440 --> 00:41:30.239
That's so funny.
00:41:30.400 --> 00:41:36.400
Can I tell you though, what I did is that um, and this actually was something that came from a client of mine.
00:41:36.719 --> 00:41:40.719
I got a lead test lead testing um swabs.
00:41:40.880 --> 00:41:41.199
Yes.
00:41:41.360 --> 00:41:46.559
And I tested stuff because um there is so much lead in stuff.
00:41:47.039 --> 00:41:48.000
And it was amazing.
00:41:48.079 --> 00:41:54.960
But I I actually, I mean, not everything of my mom's, but there were certain things that I was like, okay, well, that's the decision maker for that.
00:41:55.119 --> 00:41:55.360
Right.
00:41:55.519 --> 00:41:59.280
But I had always been somebody who like, you know, I enjoyed like a little thrift or whatever.
00:41:59.440 --> 00:42:02.960
And now um it's something that I hadn't even entered my mind.
00:42:03.119 --> 00:42:06.960
But that's lead in so much stuff.
00:42:07.199 --> 00:42:11.280
And it's like pre-1970s, it's like almost certain, which is crazy.
00:42:11.440 --> 00:42:15.519
Um, it's like gotta be decor only kind of thing.
00:42:15.599 --> 00:42:16.559
Like, you don't want to use them.
00:42:17.280 --> 00:42:17.599
Yeah.
00:42:17.840 --> 00:42:18.159
Huh.
00:42:18.320 --> 00:42:18.559
Okay.
00:42:18.719 --> 00:42:21.920
Now I might have to get one of those tests because I love old stuff.
00:42:22.239 --> 00:42:22.559
Yeah.
00:42:22.719 --> 00:42:25.519
Well, I mean, like I had dishes that I was like, oh my God.
00:42:25.840 --> 00:42:27.840
My daughter's like, Do we have lead?
00:42:29.920 --> 00:42:37.039
Well, that's an important thing to to um consider when you're you know, picking up some some fun stuff.
00:42:37.280 --> 00:42:43.119
So I I think what I was trying to say to people is just like somebody else probably wants your stuff, believe it or not.
00:42:43.360 --> 00:42:44.239
Yeah, 100%.
00:42:44.719 --> 00:43:03.199
And I think that that's it is that you can find ways for things to have another life and like a a life where they're loved and there's lots of ways to get rid of things for free and you know, just to like take it off your plate, you know, and not worry about the cost, but the value, you know, over the cost of getting rid of it.
00:43:03.440 --> 00:43:03.920
Yeah.
00:43:04.480 --> 00:43:04.639
Yeah.
00:43:05.599 --> 00:43:26.719
So I wonder if um I could just uh ask you sort of if you wanted to leave listeners with one final thought about, you know, if somebody wants to be more intentional with their space, you know, this week, what's something they could ask themselves or some small thing they could do that would help them, you know, just shift to creating a little bit more intention in their space?
00:43:27.440 --> 00:43:27.679
Yeah.
00:43:27.840 --> 00:43:32.239
So I mean, really, again, it's what are you doing that you don't want to be doing?
00:43:33.119 --> 00:43:46.800
Um, like maintaining an area that you don't really even use, um, or a junk drawer that's full of old things and you can't, you know, you can't you want to repurpose it.
00:43:46.960 --> 00:43:50.079
So what are you doing that you don't want to be doing over and over again?
00:43:50.239 --> 00:43:50.400
Yeah.
00:43:50.559 --> 00:43:54.719
And what do you want to do that you're not doing?
00:43:54.880 --> 00:43:59.599
And then pick a little area that you feel is is not supporting you.
00:44:00.159 --> 00:44:06.000
And turn it into an area that supports you, even if it's cleaning out a junk drawer, yeah.
00:44:06.079 --> 00:44:14.639
Um, to fit something, you know, little trays for the keys that you lose somewhere that you you you save, you know, 10 hours a week not looking for.
00:44:14.880 --> 00:44:15.039
Yeah.
00:44:15.199 --> 00:44:21.440
Just to facilitate um your life, making your life easier so you can be the person you want to be.
00:44:21.679 --> 00:44:22.639
Yeah, I love that.
00:44:22.800 --> 00:44:24.880
That's like, you know, so straightforward.
00:44:25.039 --> 00:44:27.199
You can do it in a few minutes at a time.
00:44:27.440 --> 00:44:31.840
And it's just um something to ask yourself over and over again.
00:44:31.920 --> 00:44:41.440
I love those things that um I always call portable, like you can take with you and like ask those questions with you as you go, easy to remember and just you know, just mull it over.
00:44:42.079 --> 00:44:42.880
Space serving me.
00:44:44.000 --> 00:44:48.320
It's a drawer, it's a room, it's a closet, it's a dresser, it's a garage, anything.
00:44:48.480 --> 00:44:49.039
Yeah, yeah.
00:44:49.280 --> 00:44:49.440
Yeah.
00:44:50.000 --> 00:44:50.320
Yeah.
00:44:50.400 --> 00:45:00.000
And we're good at figuring out the things that we don't like, you know, like those actually, like our brains are wired in a way that like that is an easy place to start.
00:45:00.320 --> 00:45:02.960
Because we'll definitely have something to work with.
00:45:04.880 --> 00:45:08.000
Um, so I have three final questions that are just for fun.
00:45:08.159 --> 00:45:12.400
Um the first one is what is something you can't live without?
00:45:13.039 --> 00:45:16.480
My morning coffee in my husband's lazy boy.
00:45:18.000 --> 00:45:19.840
That sounds wonderful, actually.
00:45:20.880 --> 00:45:23.760
He's a he's a he's a beautiful tall man.
00:45:23.840 --> 00:45:32.000
And so um I every morning I just kind of it's a huge chair, and I it's not the prettiest thing, but it I love him so much.
00:45:32.079 --> 00:45:34.320
I'm like, you can have you can have the lazy boy.
00:45:34.400 --> 00:45:37.599
Yeah, but and and now I love it so much I go sit in it every morning.
00:45:37.679 --> 00:45:42.000
So yeah, I can't do without my my morning coffee in my husband's chair.
00:45:42.159 --> 00:45:43.199
That's awesome.
00:45:44.079 --> 00:45:46.559
What about a favorite quote or saying?
00:45:47.440 --> 00:45:48.639
Oh my gosh.
00:45:49.039 --> 00:45:51.199
I guess wherever you go, there you are.
00:45:52.719 --> 00:45:57.440
And um you can bring things with you.
00:45:57.519 --> 00:46:04.559
It just changing your on the other flip side of what I'm doing, your environment can't change who you are.
00:46:05.119 --> 00:46:11.679
You know, you have to recognize your strengths and and um play on those and focus on those.
00:46:12.159 --> 00:46:16.800
Um and changing your entire environment will not change who you are.
00:46:17.199 --> 00:46:17.519
Yeah.
00:46:18.559 --> 00:46:19.519
I I love that.
00:46:19.599 --> 00:46:32.159
And I think it speaks back to what you're saying about things are a process and that you can't like flip the switch overnight, but that you have to kind of keep going and keep coming at it, that you really do shift.
00:46:32.320 --> 00:46:32.960
Yeah.
00:46:33.679 --> 00:46:37.360
Um, and the final one is an easy go-to dinner.
00:46:37.679 --> 00:46:38.639
Oh my goodness.
00:46:38.800 --> 00:46:41.440
Um, like a local one, like what's my favorite?
00:46:41.760 --> 00:46:42.079
Whatever.
00:46:42.159 --> 00:46:46.960
Well, I don't know, like if something you like to make or oh, and a go-to dinner at home.
00:46:47.280 --> 00:46:50.800
Well, it's it's always um like a chicken breast with a salad.
00:46:51.199 --> 00:46:52.079
A meat and salad.
00:46:52.159 --> 00:46:53.840
I do I love a meat and a salad.
00:46:54.000 --> 00:46:56.159
So we're having that tonight, actually.
00:46:56.320 --> 00:47:07.599
So um I love a nice lean protein and a salad, trying to pare down you know, dinner to not, you know, as as I'm 60 years old, it's just I don't need to eat a big meal at night.
00:47:07.760 --> 00:47:13.920
So my go-to is uh like a lean salmon, and then I get I love uh um a homemade dressing.
00:47:14.159 --> 00:47:14.559
Yeah.
00:47:15.360 --> 00:47:16.079
I know it's true.
00:47:16.159 --> 00:47:21.920
Once you get a good dressing that you really like that you make, you can taste the preservatives in the store-bought ones now.
00:47:22.159 --> 00:47:22.800
Now I can.
00:47:22.960 --> 00:47:23.199
Yeah.
00:47:23.440 --> 00:47:24.960
And I I love the fresh.
00:47:25.119 --> 00:47:26.559
Yeah, definitely.
00:47:26.719 --> 00:47:33.039
I know I can't do, I haven't been able to do store-bought salad dressing or canned soup for like a really, really long time.
00:47:34.079 --> 00:47:37.039
I'd rather make it, yeah, and freeze it and have it later.
00:47:37.280 --> 00:47:38.800
Yeah, totally.
00:47:39.199 --> 00:47:40.639
Uh well, thank you so much.
00:47:40.719 --> 00:47:42.239
This has been such a great conversation.
00:47:42.400 --> 00:47:49.920
I wonder if you could just share with listeners where they could find out more about you or if they're interested in reading your book and learning more about the assessment.
00:47:50.079 --> 00:47:51.599
Um, where can they go?
00:47:52.000 --> 00:47:52.400
Sure.
00:47:52.559 --> 00:47:54.960
Um, so I'm on the socials as Kim E.
00:47:55.039 --> 00:47:56.400
Costa, all of them.
00:47:56.639 --> 00:48:05.119
And then um my website where you can get the book or sign up for a workshop or read some blogs is lifestylefoundations.com.
00:48:05.360 --> 00:48:05.760
Awesome.
00:48:05.920 --> 00:48:10.000
Well, I will definitely put those in the show notes, but um it's great for listeners to hear that.
00:48:10.079 --> 00:48:11.119
So thank you again, Kim.
00:48:11.199 --> 00:48:12.559
It's been such a great conversation.
00:48:12.800 --> 00:48:15.039
It has been my pleasure, Sarah.
00:48:21.039 --> 00:48:22.400
That's all for today.
00:48:22.480 --> 00:48:24.079
I'll see you again next week.
00:48:24.239 --> 00:48:29.679
And if you liked today's episode and found it helpful, I'd be so grateful if you would write a review.
00:48:29.920 --> 00:48:33.039
If you do, your day will be entered for this month's giveaway.
00:48:33.199 --> 00:48:36.400
You can also share with another mom who would be helped by listening.
00:48:36.559 --> 00:48:40.000
And be sure to follow me on Instagram at Simple Intentional.
00:48:40.159 --> 00:48:41.679
Thanks for listening.
