[317] Break The Thought Loop

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Hello, hello, and welcome to this week's episode of the Selfish Confidence Podcast.
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It's Jess here, and I'm just so excited to be hanging out with you today.
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I truly mean it when I say sitting down for this time together and hanging out with you and just uh being in this moment together.
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It means the world, and it is my favorite part of the week.
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And I really hope you feel that too.
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That it's just like me and you, just a couple of gals hanging out and chit-chatting about what's going on in our lives and really feeling safe to share absolutely anything we have on our heart.
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So if you're new here, welcome.
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I'm so glad you're here.
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This podcast is all about helping women stand in the power that they are and who they are.
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And maybe they're second guessing the season they're in and second guessing themselves, but this is the place where you can discover who you are and really shine that in the world.
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This is the to me, this feels like a bubble.
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This feels like that safe place where you can show up as your full, authentic self and practice playing with that a little bit more because it's kind of scary putting that out with the people who we don't always feel the safest with.
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You're not gonna find that here.
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And you're not gonna find that in any event I put on or any community that I have.
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My community, the selfish sisterhood, is all about supporting you in whatever season you're in and whatever you're facing, whatever you're going through, it's a place for you to come exactly as you are and to shine, keep freaking shining because we need those spaces in our life.
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I have been realizing more and more that that isn't the reality.
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The world isn't my bubble, unfortunately.
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And the more that I go out in the world and the more I experience it, I start to I start to realize that.
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And I say, okay, it is not how I pictured things.
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And maybe you're like me and you have a Dululu brain and you just picture things to be like rainbows, butterflies, and and yellow brick road, like so much sunshine and light.
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It's I I know it's crazy because it's not the world we live in, but I do put my glitter goggles on and I like to see it that way.
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But there have been some events lately that are reminding me that not everyone thinks the same way I do.
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And the world sometimes we gotta take those glitter goggles off and come into reality.
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And yeah, I'm recording this at a time that I just I with everything that I pictured parenthood would be, everything has kind of been wrong.
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It's been I've been wrong on absolutely everything I thought.
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Like everything, including most recently our whole childcare situation.
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I thought as soon as I got childcare, that everything would fall into place.
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I'd be able to work my business more, I'd be able to have a bit more time for creativity, for a book that I'm writing, for all of these things that I have in my head that I want to bring to life.
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I was like, oh great.
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I have child care.
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It is it's all gonna work out.
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It's all gonna work out because the answer was more help.
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And I, you know, I love having great help around me.
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I think we all need to ask for more help, especially as parents, especially as women who are caretakers for a lot of people.
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I think we need to be asking for more help.
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And then I did, and it did not turn out the way that it had planned.
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And I'm not really gonna go into too many details because that's really what today's episode is about.
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It's about breaking the cycle from some of these negative thoughts that we might have that are holding us back from stepping into our ultimate power that we have, our ultimate selves, our higher selves.
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And I can tell you, I'm recording this with my son napping upstairs.
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And I don't love doing that at all.
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I actually, it is not my favorite way to record because I don't always find that I can fully immerse myself just in case, like what if he wakes up?
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And if he wakes up, it breaks my creative cycle and all of the things, right?
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But he's home full-time with me again until we can find a better place for him where he feels welcomed and wanted in the full capacity and feels safe.
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And I just wasn't sure if it if it was a safe situation anymore.
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Oh, I'm gonna get emotional.
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I just wasn't sure anymore.
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And it almost felt like I had to put my own dreams aside in order to keep his dreams and keep his spirit alive.
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And I think that's what we do as caretakers, as women in this world who bring light and magic.
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That sometimes we put ourselves on the back burner in order to bring a better vision to life for the other people around us, the people who we love so much.
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And as you know, I am a person who likes to see the life lesson in every single thing, and a lot of pieces have come into my brain that have helped me to just release some of these beliefs that I've had about parenthood for a really long time.
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This whole journey since becoming pregnant has really helped me to face these beliefs that I've had around womanhood and parenthood in so many ways.
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And right now, one of those is really I can still do what I want to do, and I can still bring magic to the world, and I can still create what I want to create, even when life doesn't look like how I thought it was going to.
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Life does not look at all how I thought it was going to.
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And we're figuring that out day by day.
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We're moving forward in it day by day.
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And for a long time, I told myself I couldn't do things because of these limits that I've put in myself.
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Well, because I don't have more help, or because I don't have childcare, or because of this or that or this or that.
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And I am done with that cycle of telling myself I can't do things because of the circumstances that I'm in.
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And maybe you can relate to that.
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I bet you can.
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I bet there's a good chance that you can because whenever I have these downloads and these lessons and these pieces, this episode goes out to the people who need to hear it, and maybe that's you today.
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And if it is, I am sending you a big ol' hug.
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Because this shit is hard.
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It is hard to navigate and push through some of the beliefs that we have built and lived with our entire freaking lives.
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How crazy is that?
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These have become pillars in our lives that are probably passed on from generation to generation to generation, and we've heard all about the cycle breakers, and we are probably them.
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And if we are, this shit is hard.
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Breaking the cycle and pushing through the beliefs you've had your whole life does not come easy.
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It comes with effort over and over and over again.
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And one of the things that I have been thinking about lately is that cycle of negative thought patterns.
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Have you ever had a conversation with someone that you've played in your head over and over again and you're just like, I should have said this, I should have done that, or why didn't it turn out this way?
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Because we have these visions in our head of how something is gonna go, and then it just doesn't, or our mouths don't move the way that we think they should.
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You're like, why didn't I say that?
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Why didn't I stand up for myself?
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Why didn't I speak my truth?
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Why did I hold back so much?
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Why am I such a coward?
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And then we play it over and over and over again in our head.
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Yeah, I do that a lot too.
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I think it's partly because I have anxiety.
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I think it's also partly because we question everything.
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And as good little girls, we've been told to stay quiet and to sit in the corner.
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So it is uncomfortable to use our voice and to stand up and tell people how we're actually thinking and feeling.
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That negative cycle, I don't even want to say negative, it's just a cycle in general.
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The cycle that we play over and over again in our heads of scenarios or, you know, I've had this even with friend breakups or with like different business endeavors not going the way that I thought they would.
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And I sit in it for way too long.
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And it holds you down.
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That negative energy around it holds you down.
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I believe energy is everything.
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I know energy is everything.
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I can feel it before you even say two words.
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I can feel your energy.
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It's a gift that I have, and maybe you have it too, and it's really powerful.
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I think that's actually why I could see some of these red flags in our childcare situation before anything even happened because I could just feel it.
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And that's a gift.
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It sucks sometimes because you're just like, I really wanted this to work out.
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But sometimes we just need that and we need to trust it.
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And so for me, that intuitive hit is really important, but it can also play with how we cycle through our thoughts over and over again.
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Well, what if I did it differently?
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What if this happened?
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What if that happened?
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And it just plays over and over again.
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It's almost like we're stuck in that cycle.
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I'm actually picturing a cassette player as a kid, and I had one when I was a kid, it was like retro colors, like yellow, red, green, like navy blues.
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Actually, it was really kind of cool now.
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I think about it.
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And you'd put your tape in there, you could play your song, and then you'd rewind and play it again.
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You'd rewind and play it again.
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And if you know kids, we love familiarity.
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I say we, like I'm a kid.
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We love familiarity.
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We love playing the same thing over and over again because we know what that outcome's gonna be.
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Kids love watching the same movie over and over again because it helps them to feel safe.
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It helps it to feel familiar.
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They're like, I know the ending, I know it's good, I know I'm gonna like it, so let's just play it again.
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And when it's something good and the outcome is good, and that feeling is like positive and happy and good, great.
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Play it over and over again.
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That's helping to keep our vibration high, that's helping to keep our energy in a really beautiful place.
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But when that outcome is something that brings a lot of uncomfortable emotions, brings a lot of pain, brings resentment, bitterness, any of those feelings, it can keep you in that cycle, it can keep you in that loop.
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And every time you play it over and over again in your head, it brings up those same feelings.
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And those feelings are lower vibrational feelings that are going to keep you low.
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Truth.
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Truth.
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Like it's gonna keep you lower the more you live in that cycle.
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And that's why today's episode, I really want to talk to you about breaking that energy cycle when it is something that we don't want to keep looping in because we don't want to keep living in that vibrational state and in that lower place.
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I remember when I was pregnant in, I'm gonna say like probably November 2024.
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And it was like November, December 2024, and I had this situation that happened that I just could not believe what's happening.
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Especially as far pregnant as I was.
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I just couldn't believe that someone would say something to me the way that they did and about what they did, and it's just like it just didn't make sense.
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And I let that eat at me for a very long time.
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I think there's reasons for that.
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Again, a lesson for everything.
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And I can look back at that season and see it clearly and understand why it happened.
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But when I was in it, I just kept living in that cycle of that conversation over and over again.
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And it brought so much sadness to my life because I just couldn't understand how someone could say what they said.
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And I truly do believe that playing that in our heads steals the joy of whatever is in front of us.
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You could even have like the best party with all your besties in the room with all your favorite foods and your favorite games and all of the fun that you could envision, like the best party you could ever have.
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But if you're still playing that loop and that cycle of that one conversation, it's gonna bring that energy down.
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And unfortunately, all of those beautiful people in front of you who want nothing more than to show you their love become insignificant in your life.
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And that is just like not where you want to go.
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So I want you to look at the path right now in front of you.
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The thing that you have been telling yourself or playing over in your head over and over and over again that's holding you back, or a room filled with your besties, with your favorite cake and all of the gummy bears in the entire world, because mm-ho wouldn't want that?
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Or if you're a chocolate girly, then all of your favorite chocolates, all of your favorite snacks, your chips, your whatever you want, okay?
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Your bowl of fruit, whatever your jam is, the room is filled with it.
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A jello party, okay?
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You have two options, and you're standing at that road that can keep cycling through this one or multiple negative stories, hard stories, difficult stories, or your utopia.
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All your besties in a room filled with jello.
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Which one are you gonna pick?
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It's easy for us to stand here.
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I have like my arms out holding like each scenario in my hands, basically.
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It's easy for us to pick and say, Oh, I'd want the room with my besties.
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But for some reason, our brain is a lot more comfortable with going through that cycle over and over again of that difficult conversation that we had that didn't go the way that we wanted it to.
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And it's actually really ironic because when I was sitting down to record this episode the first time, not only was I going through something like this and still continue to, I'm choosing to go in a different direction.
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Again, that's what we're talking about today, but I was also talking with one of my besties about something that she had gone through just recently that is keeping that cycle in your head.
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It's like going over and over.
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It's so interesting that I was sitting down trying to record this episode, and she was texting me a bunch of things that she was facing and thinking, like in the moment where I'm like, this is exactly what I need to talk about this week because I know so many of us fight this cycle.
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And I truly do mean, especially as women and people pleasers who want to make everyone happy around them, want the world to be filled with glitter and rainbows and the yellow brick road, but that's just not the reality.
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We've got to take our glitter goggles off here for a minute here.
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Just for a minute.
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And remember that life looks different.
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Not everyone thinks the same way we do, but we're gonna break the cycle for our own thoughts today.
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And we've talked about this many times in the sense of like long-term benefits not only for our health, but for our mental health.
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Of course, eating well and moving our bodies and doing all these things can help bring better energy into our everyday life.
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We're talking treat your body good, you're gonna feel good, right?
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That's kind of the long-term effects of having great energy in our bodies.
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But if we are talking about these clip moments, one particular thing, like for me, the decision to keep my son home instead of sending him to childcare, I can play that in my head and tell myself it means something and tell myself, I can't record a podcast, I don't have childcare anymore, I can't, you know, meet with clients anymore, I don't have childcare, I can't do this, I can't do that, I can't do this.
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We're living in that cycle.
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And I just am not choosing to believe that anymore.
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I think this is happening to show me and to teach me that I can do it my way.
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Haven't we been talking about this on the podcast for like four years?
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Right.
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I'm still learning the lesson.
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We're all still learning the lesson.
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So some of the things that I like to do in the short term, when this is something that I'm playing in my head, a belief that I'm challenging, or an energy loop of a conversation or something in particular that just doesn't sit well in your tummy, you know the one.
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Like, I feel you, I see you, sis.
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What you can do, first and foremost, the number one thing that I think is the most important thing is to seek joy.
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These negative loops cannot survive in a joyful energy.
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They just can't.
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They two things can exist, sure, but these two cannot.
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So I want you to seek joy.
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And what do I mean by when I say seek joy is to find that thing that lights you up, that brings you back to life.
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For me, it can be a run.
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I'm even picturing like roller skating.
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Like, I haven't roller skated in a very long time, but that would bring me a whole lot of joy.
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It will, it really would.
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Uh, maybe it's calling up your bestie and just like having a fun, playful conversation.
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Maybe instead of watching TV, it's playing a game that you think is fun, that excites you, whether that's a board game, a video game, it maybe it's taking your dog for a walk or running around in the park.
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Like, what is that thing for you that would bring you the ultimate satisfaction of joy?
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You're just like, that is it.
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And if you cannot think of something because you're so stuck in that cycle, I want you to go back to your eight-year-old self and think about what brought them joy.
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Oh my gosh, a roller coaster?
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Ha! Like, like going to the amusement park or playing a carnival game, like something so fun that you just cannot help but be so happy when you do it.
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I want you to go there.
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And if you're like, I live in the middle of nowhere, Jess, I can't find a roller coaster, then I want you to find something as close to that energy that you can and experience it.
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Go for a bike ride, find something in your area and go after it.
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Because the cycle you're playing in your head, or all the things that you're telling yourself you can't because of, X, Y, and Z, cannot exist in this fun energy.
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For me, it's like extreme zip lines.
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Like, let's do something so fun that I can't help but be present in.
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Or going to the beach.
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I absolutely love going to the beach.
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Like just getting my feet in the water and being present there is just the best feeling in the world.
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I want you to find that and seek it out like now, today.
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Today.
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And if you're like, I can't go and do that thing today, Jess.
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I gotta work.
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Okay, that's fine.
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But I want you to think about it.
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I want you to write it down and make a plan for it this weekend.
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And if you're like, oh, I can't do that, no, just get out, okay?
00:17:26.799 --> 00:17:27.359
You can.
00:17:27.519 --> 00:17:28.640
You can find something.
00:17:28.880 --> 00:17:33.200
Maybe it's not the big thing like a giant double loop roller coaster, okay?
00:17:33.279 --> 00:17:35.359
Because I can't do that here where I live either.
00:17:35.680 --> 00:17:37.519
But you can find something close to it, okay?
00:17:37.759 --> 00:17:41.039
And I want you to put it as a top priority on your list.
00:17:41.839 --> 00:17:47.599
Because it's one of the only things that is guaranteed to get you out of that cycle, even if it's just for a few minutes.
00:17:48.319 --> 00:17:57.839
The second thing I want you to do, and it is something you could probably do today, unless you live in a bunker underground, which cool, that's cool.
00:17:58.000 --> 00:17:58.720
I doubt it.
00:17:58.880 --> 00:18:03.200
I doubt that's who I'm talking to, but cool, is to get out in nature.
00:18:04.000 --> 00:18:06.960
You could just put your feet in the grass for like one minute.
00:18:07.279 --> 00:18:15.359
You will be shocked at how putting your palms on a tree can really shift this negative energy.
00:18:15.920 --> 00:18:21.759
Sometimes, oh man, sometimes when I say these things, I'm like, people are gonna think I'm the absolute craziest person, but like you keep coming back.
00:18:22.000 --> 00:18:23.519
So I know you're into this.
00:18:23.759 --> 00:18:33.519
Sometimes what I do is when I'm feeling this energy, I put my palms on a tree and I try to push that energy into the tree.
00:18:33.839 --> 00:18:34.480
You know what?
00:18:34.640 --> 00:18:37.519
They can take it, they're happy to take it, okay?
00:18:37.839 --> 00:18:38.960
It makes a difference.
00:18:39.119 --> 00:18:43.279
If you've been around this podcast for a while, I used to talk about how I'd go meditate out on my rock.
00:18:43.359 --> 00:18:45.440
I have this giant rock in my backyard, I love it.
00:18:45.599 --> 00:18:52.319
I don't get out there as much now because my little guy will want to come with me, and it's just not that relaxing with an 18-month-old, okay?
00:18:52.559 --> 00:18:53.920
But I do love my rock.
00:18:54.000 --> 00:18:55.440
And honestly, he loves it too.
00:18:55.599 --> 00:18:57.920
Not for meditating, for climbing, but we'll take it.
00:18:58.079 --> 00:19:04.960
Just getting out and touching some grass, touching a rock, touching a tree, it sounds crazy, but it works.
00:19:05.200 --> 00:19:14.000
There is scientific evidence about the sound of birds and how it can help regulate your system and also reduce your stress.
00:19:14.160 --> 00:19:14.960
That is true.
00:19:15.200 --> 00:19:23.599
Just even 15 minutes outside can dramatically help to regulate your nervous system and help you to feel better.
00:19:24.000 --> 00:19:35.599
So maybe it might not totally take away this negative cycle that you're in, but it can help give you the support that your body needs in order to be able to fight back on this cycle that we're having over and over again.
00:19:35.759 --> 00:19:41.200
So the more that you can get out in nature, I know a lot of people enjoy it like first thing in the morning, or it's summertime.
00:19:41.279 --> 00:19:43.599
If you're listening to this real time, it's summertime.
00:19:43.759 --> 00:19:46.160
You can just sit in the sun on your deck.
00:19:46.400 --> 00:19:48.720
Just get some of that light into your body.
00:19:48.880 --> 00:19:50.640
It really will make a huge difference.
00:19:50.799 --> 00:19:55.359
And you can't even fight me on this because I know it's so simple, but it works.
00:19:55.599 --> 00:19:58.079
There is no question about it, it works.
00:19:58.559 --> 00:20:09.279
One of the ways I really like to use nature when I'm struggling with some of this stuff, and I've done this many times, is write it on a piece of paper and write the thing that I'm cycling through in my head.
00:20:09.359 --> 00:20:16.079
So let's say that I can't show up the way I want to, or I can't follow my dreams because I am a mom.
00:20:16.880 --> 00:20:22.240
Like I know that that's crazy, but it is definitely something I play over in my head.
00:20:22.559 --> 00:20:30.880
Or that conversation I had with Judy about this, uh, is just making me feel like crap and I'm ready to release it.
00:20:30.960 --> 00:20:35.440
You can write that on a piece of paper and bury it in the earth, or you can burn it.
00:20:35.519 --> 00:20:38.000
I like to burn it and then bury the ashes.
00:20:38.319 --> 00:20:47.440
The other day I told my husband that I was trying to burn some old stuff of mine that was just like, oh man, was not making me feel very good.
00:20:47.519 --> 00:20:52.720
And I was like, I need to release this, but it was raining out, so I was like, I'll just burn it in one of these kitchen pots.
00:20:52.799 --> 00:20:56.240
It did not go well, uh, so I ended up just ripping it in tiny pieces.
00:20:56.400 --> 00:21:01.039
That works too, but I like to burn something and then bury the ashes.
00:21:01.359 --> 00:21:09.359
You don't need anything fancy, just burn it in a little bucket you have or a kitchen pot, whatever works for you, and bury it in the ground.
00:21:09.680 --> 00:21:13.599
I promise you, this act of releasing really makes a big difference.
00:21:13.759 --> 00:21:23.759
And maybe not necessarily just on the first try, but you can do it over and over again until you finally release it and get that relief that you need in order to move forward.
00:21:24.160 --> 00:21:27.519
Did you know that you're the reason you're holding yourself back?
00:21:27.680 --> 00:21:31.279
Like the it's not all these other circumstances that we're living through.
00:21:31.440 --> 00:21:35.519
It's not the fact that I don't have child care anymore, that I don't feel like I'm moving forward.
00:21:35.680 --> 00:21:36.319
It's me.
00:21:36.480 --> 00:21:38.079
I'm the one holding you back.
00:21:38.720 --> 00:21:43.359
You are the problem and you're the solution.
00:21:44.079 --> 00:21:52.319
So doing a couple of these things, I think daily, I know daily, is going to help you to break through some of those cycles.
00:21:54.079 --> 00:21:55.680
So find your joy.
00:21:55.920 --> 00:21:59.759
Find that thing that puts that big ass smile on your face, and you're just like, oh my gosh.
00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:01.440
I am alive again.
00:22:01.680 --> 00:22:02.880
Find your joy.
00:22:03.119 --> 00:22:04.480
Touch some grass.
00:22:05.200 --> 00:22:07.839
And then the third thing I want you to do is flip the script.
00:22:08.319 --> 00:22:15.119
Every time that voice in your head comes up and says that thing, that you're just like, we're doing this again.
00:22:15.359 --> 00:22:17.599
We're replaying that conversation again.
00:22:17.839 --> 00:22:20.079
Like, I really just don't want to anymore.
00:22:20.160 --> 00:22:21.680
I am exhausted.
00:22:21.920 --> 00:22:24.000
I want you to flip the script.
00:22:24.319 --> 00:22:25.839
You have control here.
00:22:26.079 --> 00:22:27.680
You might not think it.
00:22:27.920 --> 00:22:33.359
You think that everything else is, and I laugh as I say it because I do too, right?
00:22:33.519 --> 00:22:36.000
Everything else has more control than you do.
00:22:36.400 --> 00:22:37.680
And it's just not true.
00:22:37.839 --> 00:22:41.440
Like you were literally get the opportunity to manifest everything you want in this world.
00:22:41.599 --> 00:22:42.799
It can happen.
00:22:43.039 --> 00:22:44.960
You're the one holding yourself back.
00:22:45.119 --> 00:22:47.519
These beliefs, and they're not easy to break.
00:22:47.599 --> 00:22:49.119
Like I'm not sitting here telling you it's easy.
00:22:49.200 --> 00:22:53.920
This is not easy work, but I am telling you that you're the one putting yourself there.
00:22:54.319 --> 00:22:56.160
And you can also change it.
00:22:56.240 --> 00:22:57.200
You can flip it.
00:22:57.359 --> 00:23:03.279
And every time that that thought comes into your head, so again, let's say an example of I can't run a marathon.
00:23:03.359 --> 00:23:04.960
I don't have time, right?
00:23:05.200 --> 00:23:10.880
Or I can't start a business because I'm working a full-time job.
00:23:11.039 --> 00:23:16.079
I can't, you know, get into shape because of I have kids, right?
00:23:16.240 --> 00:23:22.640
Find your thing that you've been telling yourself over and again, or that specific conversation that you've had that you're replaying in your head.
00:23:22.799 --> 00:23:23.599
Find that thing.
00:23:23.680 --> 00:23:28.319
And the next time it comes up, I want you to just be like, really?
00:23:29.119 --> 00:23:29.759
Again?
00:23:30.319 --> 00:23:32.240
You want to play this again?
00:23:32.559 --> 00:23:33.200
Nah.
00:23:33.440 --> 00:23:34.240
I'm done.
00:23:34.400 --> 00:23:35.039
I'm out.
00:23:35.200 --> 00:23:36.880
Let's flip this pattern.
00:23:37.200 --> 00:23:42.880
I can do this because I have that energy to show up to my full-time job.
00:23:43.039 --> 00:23:46.000
I know I have the energy to bring it to a business.
00:23:46.559 --> 00:23:57.039
I I can run a half marathon, full marathon, whatever you want to do, because I've proven to myself before that I can show up, so I'm gonna do it again.
00:23:57.359 --> 00:23:59.599
Flip what you're saying to yourself.
00:23:59.839 --> 00:24:04.480
Flip it as if it's already happened, or flip it because you know you can.
00:24:04.720 --> 00:24:07.759
These things that you want for your life, I know you got big dreams.
00:24:07.839 --> 00:24:09.519
I see you, sis, me too.
00:24:09.680 --> 00:24:14.960
I don't think you'd be here listening to this podcast if you didn't have a dream on your heart of something you wanted in this world.
00:24:15.200 --> 00:24:22.799
And maybe it's to be an exceptional parent, maybe it's to be an awesome worker of the work that you do.
00:24:23.039 --> 00:24:25.039
Like it could be anything.
00:24:25.200 --> 00:24:30.960
Maybe it is to run a race, maybe it is to save the planet, maybe it is to become Captain Marvel.
00:24:31.039 --> 00:24:32.640
I see you, sis, okay?
00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:34.079
You can do it.
00:24:34.559 --> 00:24:38.640
We just need to keep showing up and flipping this idea in our head.
00:24:38.720 --> 00:24:44.400
And instead of telling us ourselves all the reasons we can't, I want you to flip it for all the reasons you can.
00:24:44.880 --> 00:24:51.359
And then I want you to text me, DM me on Instagram, and tell me what you're flipping the script with.
00:24:51.599 --> 00:24:56.000
Because it's one thing to flip it, it's another thing to play it over and over again.
00:24:56.160 --> 00:24:59.519
I want you to write that down every single day.
00:24:59.839 --> 00:25:01.680
I want that to be your new norm.
00:25:01.839 --> 00:25:06.079
I want that to be when you put your glitter goggles on, that is all you can see.
00:25:06.319 --> 00:25:08.000
You can see it happening.
00:25:08.240 --> 00:25:10.000
You can see the good people around you.
00:25:10.079 --> 00:25:18.480
You can see that party with all your besties and all your favorite food and all of the things you've ever dreamed of and more right there in front of you.
00:25:18.640 --> 00:25:20.880
You can see it because it's happening.
00:25:21.200 --> 00:25:23.599
It's happening because you flipped the script.
00:25:23.839 --> 00:25:26.079
It's happening because you chose joy.
00:25:26.240 --> 00:25:44.720
It's happening because you didn't stay in that cycle and keep telling yourself the things over and over and over again on why you can't, or why you should stay in that bad relationship, or why you should stay at that awful job, or why you should, you know, why you can't have what you want.
00:25:44.960 --> 00:25:47.039
We're not living there anymore.
00:25:47.279 --> 00:25:49.440
We're not living there anymore.
00:25:49.680 --> 00:25:53.839
We are doing something different and we are shaking that negative cycle.
00:25:54.000 --> 00:25:55.599
I want you to visualize this with me.
00:25:55.920 --> 00:25:57.119
This is what's popping into my head.
00:25:57.200 --> 00:26:00.559
I don't even know why sometimes why these are the things, but they just are.
00:26:00.799 --> 00:26:03.359
I'm still visualizing that childhood cassette tape.
00:26:03.440 --> 00:26:10.559
I really hope that you're old enough listening to this that you're like, yes, I had a cassette tape too, and it was pretty freaking cool, okay?
00:26:10.720 --> 00:26:12.319
And you'd put your cassette in it.
00:26:12.480 --> 00:26:14.000
I want you right now to close your eyes.
00:26:14.079 --> 00:26:17.200
If you're driving, don't close your eyes, but just be with me for a minute, okay?
00:26:17.440 --> 00:26:21.039
I want you to see that cassette tape, hold that cassette tape.
00:26:21.200 --> 00:26:23.599
You got the headphones on, they're really freaking cute.
00:26:23.680 --> 00:26:25.839
Like you're looking good with your cassette tape.
00:26:25.920 --> 00:26:30.880
It has a clip, so it could like go on your side of your pants, so you could just like walk down the street with your cassette tape.
00:26:31.200 --> 00:26:36.079
So I want you to see that cassette player in your hands.
00:26:36.319 --> 00:26:40.240
I want you to hit the open button and pull that tape out.
00:26:40.480 --> 00:26:49.680
That tape that you have been cycling through in your brain over and over again that has been playing on a loop because it's the song you've chosen to play.
00:26:49.920 --> 00:26:53.440
It's what you've been choosing to put into your ears and to put into your body.
00:26:53.680 --> 00:26:55.119
I want you to see it.
00:26:55.359 --> 00:26:57.519
I want you to see it in your hand.
00:26:57.920 --> 00:27:07.519
And then I want you to take it and throw it as far as you can, all the way to the other side of the house, the other side of your car, throw it in the trunk, throw it out the window.
00:27:07.680 --> 00:27:10.079
I want you to get rid of that tape.
00:27:10.720 --> 00:27:12.160
It's no longer serving us.
00:27:12.319 --> 00:27:14.000
We don't need that loop anymore.
00:27:14.240 --> 00:27:26.319
And I want you to find the other one that's in your pocket right now, with that positive, beautiful messaging that you have been wanting to live in, praying for clarity on, praying for an answer on.
00:27:26.480 --> 00:27:34.240
I want you to grab that tape, admire it for a second, and say, I'm choosing to listen to this instead.
00:27:34.480 --> 00:27:37.119
I'm choosing to believe this instead.
00:27:37.440 --> 00:27:41.200
I am ready to embody this in my life.
00:27:41.440 --> 00:27:47.920
I want you to take that tape, put it in your cassette player, clip it shut, and hit play.
00:27:49.279 --> 00:27:51.440
It's time for a new cycle.
00:27:51.599 --> 00:28:03.200
It's time for us to say something new to ourselves so that we can start to live into that true, beautiful potential that we have, that full-body, authentic potential that we have in our hearts.
00:28:03.839 --> 00:28:07.759
And we're no longer living in the cycle that's telling ourselves that we can't.
00:28:07.920 --> 00:28:15.759
We're living in this beautiful energy of I can, I will, and I deserve this because you do.
00:28:16.480 --> 00:28:17.440
You do.
00:28:18.079 --> 00:28:20.319
And I want you to listen to that tape over and over again.
00:28:20.400 --> 00:28:36.400
And if you're someone who's like, no, actually, I really do want to listen to that tape, then record an audio message of you telling yourself all of the good things that are happening, all of the things you want to believe, and then start playing that every single morning when you wake up.
00:28:36.720 --> 00:28:48.079
Talk to yourself as if it's already happened, as if you're living in your dream life, you're living in the world that your vision board fully exists in, and play it for yourself every single day.
00:28:48.240 --> 00:28:58.000
And if you're like, that's weird, Jess, then maybe you write it on a sticky note and you put it on your bedside table so it's the first thing you see in the morning and the last thing you see at night.
00:28:58.559 --> 00:29:00.160
I want you to see that.
00:29:00.400 --> 00:29:02.960
Or maybe put it as the background of your phone.
00:29:03.200 --> 00:29:07.759
That has never really worked for me because I just don't want to look at my phone as much.
00:29:07.920 --> 00:29:14.960
But the sticky notes in on my fridge, the sticky notes on mirrors, sticky notes on my bedside can make a really big difference.
00:29:15.200 --> 00:29:18.079
So find the thing that works for you and go with it.
00:29:18.319 --> 00:29:31.920
Find the thing that's gonna flip that cycle of negative energy that you have been playing in for so long and flip it into something that's worth believing in, something you want to believe.
00:29:32.160 --> 00:29:48.240
I bet you can think of someone who you know has had excuses and has had chapters in their lives that you're just like, I could never, would never, don't want to ever experience that, or like you want to shake them because they're still living in that.
00:29:48.480 --> 00:29:54.400
Chances are there's someone who wants to shake you because you're still living in that cycle and in that loop.
00:29:54.640 --> 00:30:02.319
So maybe, maybe you just shake yourself and get up, put a song on, shift that energy immediately, like right now.
00:30:02.720 --> 00:30:18.559
Shake it all off, put that nuke set in and start believing the thing that you need to hear and believe in order to get to that more beautiful and authentic version of you, the truest version of you, the higher self that you have been dreaming of for so long.
00:30:18.799 --> 00:30:21.279
She is so much closer than you realize.
00:30:21.519 --> 00:30:30.480
It just takes cutting the negative loop and playing the beautiful one, playing the magical one, playing your shining song because you deserve it.
00:30:30.720 --> 00:30:31.519
You are it.
00:30:31.759 --> 00:30:33.839
You are it, and I'm right there with you.
00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:37.759
I'm telling you, when I make these episodes, I'm mostly talking to myself.
00:30:38.000 --> 00:30:44.559
I literally am talking to myself if I'm being honest, because it's just me here and my dog, Polly.
00:30:45.119 --> 00:30:46.319
It's just me here.
00:30:46.480 --> 00:30:48.079
So I am talking to myself.
00:30:48.319 --> 00:30:49.920
So you're not alone in this.
00:30:50.160 --> 00:31:00.559
We are going through this together, and I think the more women who can choose to play the positive cassette and believe something better right now, the better we're gonna live.
00:31:00.720 --> 00:31:04.400
The better and brighter we're gonna shine, and then we're gonna take over the world.
00:31:04.720 --> 00:31:05.519
Period.
00:31:05.759 --> 00:31:06.799
That's it.
00:31:07.039 --> 00:31:10.880
And I can close the episode now because women are taking over the world.
00:31:11.039 --> 00:31:12.000
I love it.
00:31:12.400 --> 00:31:13.759
Oh, I see you, my sis.
00:31:14.000 --> 00:31:16.000
I know this stuff is not easy.
00:31:16.319 --> 00:31:17.359
It is not easy.
00:31:17.519 --> 00:31:26.240
So I'm so proud of you for taking the step that you need to take in order to believe in yourself again, in order for you to shine brighter, and in order for you to just like live.
00:31:26.720 --> 00:31:32.000
Because I don't know, I believe God didn't create us to be living in this negative loop.
00:31:32.160 --> 00:31:34.480
God didn't create us to keep having these thoughts over and over again.
00:31:34.640 --> 00:31:36.480
It's time that we learn the lesson and we move on.
00:31:36.559 --> 00:31:38.000
And that's what we're gonna do today.
00:31:38.240 --> 00:31:39.279
I love you so much.
00:31:39.440 --> 00:31:40.240
I'm so grateful.
00:31:40.400 --> 00:31:41.200
You have no idea.
00:31:41.279 --> 00:31:42.640
I'm so grateful that you're here.
00:31:42.880 --> 00:31:50.000
If you love today's episode and you've been jiving with selfish confidence for a while, I would truly appreciate you sharing this episode with a friend.
00:31:50.160 --> 00:31:52.559
Maybe someone who needs to hear this today, you're like, you know what?
00:31:52.720 --> 00:31:55.440
I think you're the person I want to shake, my sister.
00:31:55.519 --> 00:31:56.559
You're the person I want to shake.
00:31:56.640 --> 00:31:58.319
So can you listen to this episode?
00:31:58.559 --> 00:32:00.720
This is my kind way of shaking you.
00:32:01.359 --> 00:32:04.240
And if you have a moment, please review the podcast.
00:32:04.400 --> 00:32:05.279
Give us a rating.
00:32:05.359 --> 00:32:14.079
It makes a really big difference for me to get the word out even more if you just take one minute and give selfish confidence a rating.
00:32:14.319 --> 00:32:15.599
It really means the world.
00:32:15.680 --> 00:32:18.319
So thank you so much for being here and for being a part of this community.
00:32:18.480 --> 00:32:23.519
And if you're looking for your sisters who will politely shake you, selfish sisterhoods for you.
00:32:23.680 --> 00:32:30.480
The information is in the show notes for you to check out and send me a DM on Instagram so that we can connect and chat a little bit more about if it's a good fit for you.
00:32:30.559 --> 00:32:31.920
We would love to have you in there.
00:32:32.000 --> 00:32:34.240
We are missing your energy in this space.
00:32:34.400 --> 00:32:42.400
So please check it out so that you can be a part of something so beautiful and something a space that really is making a difference in women believing in themselves again.
00:32:42.559 --> 00:32:44.000
So I love you so much, sis.
00:32:44.319 --> 00:32:47.279
I hope you're having the best week, and I will talk to you next time.