WEBVTT
1
00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:03.560
Support for the following podcast is provided by the user
2
00:00:03.600 --> 00:00:09.640
experience specialists at Johnson Taylor. More information follows this episode.
3
00:00:10.400 --> 00:00:13.080
What if one of the worst things that can happen
4
00:00:13.080 --> 00:00:15.800
in your life leads to one of your most important
5
00:00:15.800 --> 00:00:16.960
decisions ever.
6
00:00:17.760 --> 00:00:20.679
I'm Joe Taylor Junior. This is Search and Replace.
7
00:00:23.600 --> 00:00:26.160
Often on the show we ask folks about a time
8
00:00:26.199 --> 00:00:30.199
in their lives when they made a big change. Sometimes
9
00:00:30.239 --> 00:00:32.240
our guests seek out that change.
10
00:00:32.399 --> 00:00:33.799
Brenda Viola did not.
11
00:00:34.320 --> 00:00:37.719
In twenty twenty one. My mom had been ill for
12
00:00:37.840 --> 00:00:41.600
quite some time and it was during COVID, so it
13
00:00:41.679 --> 00:00:43.759
was one of those situations where we had to just
14
00:00:43.799 --> 00:00:46.719
sort of wave at her from a window and we
15
00:00:46.759 --> 00:00:50.479
couldn't have that warm, fuzzy time in the final years
16
00:00:50.479 --> 00:00:54.159
of her life. But she did eventually pass away, which
17
00:00:54.200 --> 00:00:57.280
was heart wrenching because it was my last parent. My
18
00:00:57.359 --> 00:00:59.320
father had died when I was young, but then in
19
00:00:59.359 --> 00:01:03.439
a one to two punch three months later, the love
20
00:01:03.479 --> 00:01:08.560
of my life suddenly died and we had a beautiful
21
00:01:08.599 --> 00:01:11.640
life together. We had gotten together after I had been
22
00:01:11.719 --> 00:01:17.200
married unhappily. I didn't know I could be happy with someone,
23
00:01:17.959 --> 00:01:20.519
and he was a dream come true.
24
00:01:20.640 --> 00:01:25.400
And he passed away Brenda's story mirrors others that folks
25
00:01:25.439 --> 00:01:28.640
have told us. Having survived such a big change in
26
00:01:28.680 --> 00:01:33.079
one's life, that making yet another change, something that seemed
27
00:01:33.480 --> 00:01:38.359
too huge or totally impossible before, just seems like the
28
00:01:38.640 --> 00:01:39.879
only path forward.
29
00:01:40.319 --> 00:01:40.519
There.
30
00:01:40.560 --> 00:01:45.159
I was left in a town in Florida where I
31
00:01:45.239 --> 00:01:49.040
felt like I no longer fit, and I decided that
32
00:01:49.280 --> 00:01:51.439
I needed after you know, they say wait a year
33
00:01:51.680 --> 00:01:56.319
before you do anything substantial, And I went and visited
34
00:01:56.359 --> 00:02:00.840
California and visited family out here, like, you know what,
35
00:02:00.840 --> 00:02:03.319
what a great place to have a fresh start. So
36
00:02:03.959 --> 00:02:07.120
I told my employer that I would like to move
37
00:02:07.159 --> 00:02:09.599
to California. Now I was a remote worker, so it
38
00:02:09.639 --> 00:02:12.919
was like to me, no problem. Right then I was
39
00:02:13.000 --> 00:02:16.319
told that you can't take your job and move to California.
40
00:02:16.439 --> 00:02:20.759
So I was left without family, without a partner.
41
00:02:20.439 --> 00:02:21.400
Without a job.
42
00:02:21.599 --> 00:02:24.240
And you know, anybody could say, but Brenda, you didn't
43
00:02:24.439 --> 00:02:26.719
need to move to California. You could have kept your
44
00:02:26.840 --> 00:02:30.680
job and not moved. But do you know, sometimes there
45
00:02:30.759 --> 00:02:35.240
is this irresistible must on the inside saying this is
46
00:02:35.360 --> 00:02:38.879
your next step and you must obey it or else
47
00:02:38.919 --> 00:02:40.879
you're going to be miserable the rest of your life.
48
00:02:40.919 --> 00:02:43.479
And torment yourself with what if.
49
00:02:43.639 --> 00:02:47.199
Brenda didn't just prepare to move, she got ready to
50
00:02:47.319 --> 00:02:49.560
completely restart her life.
51
00:02:49.879 --> 00:02:53.280
When I finally made the decision put my house for
52
00:02:53.360 --> 00:02:57.879
sale and I sold everything in it, including my Christmas decoration,
53
00:02:59.039 --> 00:03:04.039
my chotch get, my silverware, I had nothing, and I
54
00:03:04.199 --> 00:03:08.199
wanted it that way because, just like those Facebook memories
55
00:03:08.240 --> 00:03:12.039
that show up and sucker punch you, sometimes seeing the
56
00:03:12.080 --> 00:03:15.120
memories of the past, even the happy ones, brought me
57
00:03:15.199 --> 00:03:18.439
too much pain. I wanted a clean slate. And yeah,
58
00:03:18.439 --> 00:03:23.439
it was pretty dramatic to completely change coasts. And fortunately
59
00:03:23.439 --> 00:03:26.159
I did have family out here, and they've been amazing
60
00:03:26.280 --> 00:03:30.360
and wonderful. I needed a family connection, a sense of
61
00:03:30.439 --> 00:03:34.919
belonging to someone because I felt so untethered and unmoored
62
00:03:34.960 --> 00:03:38.280
by the losses of my mom and my partner. Finding
63
00:03:38.319 --> 00:03:43.960
a new rhythm, a new group of people, new rituals,
64
00:03:44.159 --> 00:03:47.680
new a new gym, a new hairdresser, a new everything,
65
00:03:48.120 --> 00:03:50.520
it was a little bit overwhelming.
66
00:03:51.159 --> 00:03:54.840
So in the face of all that overwhelmed, Brenda focused
67
00:03:54.879 --> 00:03:58.080
on the one thing she could control in her life.
68
00:03:58.199 --> 00:04:01.800
I went all in on me. I'd always made money
69
00:04:01.840 --> 00:04:06.360
for other people, I'd always won awards and done good things,
70
00:04:06.439 --> 00:04:09.879
and I thought, you know what if I start my
71
00:04:10.039 --> 00:04:13.400
own business and start helping other people do the stuff
72
00:04:13.439 --> 00:04:16.879
I've done my entire career. And that's how my company
73
00:04:16.959 --> 00:04:22.439
Vichy Communications VICI, meaning I Conquered, was started because I
74
00:04:22.519 --> 00:04:24.759
had to conquer a bunch of stuff to get here,
75
00:04:24.800 --> 00:04:27.519
and now my mission is to help other people conquer
76
00:04:27.720 --> 00:04:34.439
their stuff, whether it's communications, culture conferences, or even coaching.
77
00:04:34.720 --> 00:04:37.800
I work with people and help them get unstuck and
78
00:04:37.839 --> 00:04:41.240
it's so rewarding. But oh, the path to get here
79
00:04:41.759 --> 00:04:47.319
was filled with pitfalls and roadblocks and painful times. When
80
00:04:47.839 --> 00:04:52.600
you lose people that you love, you realize you're ever
81
00:04:53.040 --> 00:04:57.279
more aware of your own expiration date. Not with the
82
00:04:57.360 --> 00:05:01.800
sense of desperation, but with a sense of purpose, realizing
83
00:05:02.600 --> 00:05:06.680
I don't want to leave this earth without feeling like
84
00:05:06.759 --> 00:05:09.879
I did what I was born to do. That kept
85
00:05:09.920 --> 00:05:14.000
me going. There were moments for I questioned why am
86
00:05:14.040 --> 00:05:17.879
I still here? Everything I care about is gone. Why
87
00:05:17.920 --> 00:05:21.319
am I still here? But then the answer came, well,
88
00:05:21.399 --> 00:05:24.240
you are still here, and therefore there is something for
89
00:05:24.360 --> 00:05:27.439
you to do. And whether I am teaching a class
90
00:05:27.480 --> 00:05:30.920
on communication or whether I'm talking about how to deal
91
00:05:30.959 --> 00:05:35.240
with difficult people, or I'm coaching and building corporate cultures.
92
00:05:35.839 --> 00:05:38.519
I can't help but be and do what I was
93
00:05:38.560 --> 00:05:40.399
born to do, which is encourage people.
94
00:05:40.680 --> 00:05:43.800
Brenda even coined her own phrase to describe her life
95
00:05:43.879 --> 00:05:46.160
and the lives of the clients that she likes to
96
00:05:46.199 --> 00:05:46.680
work with.
97
00:05:47.079 --> 00:05:52.839
I actually trademarked this phrase, You're flawed, but you're awesome.
98
00:05:54.240 --> 00:05:59.800
You're flawsome, Embrace your flossomness, making peace with your imperfection
99
00:06:00.399 --> 00:06:05.399
and sharing my broken road that led me to where
100
00:06:05.399 --> 00:06:09.160
I am today. And I'm sixty and I feel like
101
00:06:09.279 --> 00:06:13.040
I'm just getting started because I want to. None of
102
00:06:13.120 --> 00:06:16.000
us get a haul pass from pain. It's how we
103
00:06:16.040 --> 00:06:19.240
respond to it that makes us or breaks us. We
104
00:06:19.360 --> 00:06:24.480
can either be victims of circumstances or victors. And that's
105
00:06:24.519 --> 00:06:28.399
not to say that the rising up from the ashes
106
00:06:28.519 --> 00:06:31.879
is immediate. But I have found that I've been given
107
00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:35.279
beauty for ashes and that I am a better person
108
00:06:35.600 --> 00:06:40.000
because of the difficult times. It is the strength that
109
00:06:40.079 --> 00:06:44.399
you gain from pressing on in that dark place that
110
00:06:44.560 --> 00:06:48.199
creates the strength in your wings so you can fly.
111
00:06:49.040 --> 00:06:53.480
That's communications consultant and professional speaker Brenda Viola. We've got
112
00:06:53.480 --> 00:06:55.680
links to Brenda's work and our show notes, and on
113
00:06:55.759 --> 00:07:00.199
our website at Search and Replace that show. Today's episode
114
00:07:00.240 --> 00:07:02.480
was produced by Nicole Hubbard with help from the entire
115
00:07:02.560 --> 00:07:03.720
podcast Taxi team.
116
00:07:04.000 --> 00:07:05.199
I'm Joe Taylor Jr.
117
00:07:05.519 --> 00:07:09.920
This has been a podcast Taxi Radio production support for
118
00:07:10.040 --> 00:07:13.839
Search and Replace is provided by Johnson Taylor User Experience
119
00:07:13.879 --> 00:07:18.439
specialists serving media and technology companies that want their websites
120
00:07:18.519 --> 00:07:22.759
to work. Learn more about how top performing businesses eliminate
121
00:07:22.879 --> 00:07:28.040
barriers between customers and their goals at www dot Make
122
00:07:28.079 --> 00:07:31.800
the website work for me dot com
1
00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:03.560
Support for the following podcast is provided by the user
2
00:00:03.600 --> 00:00:09.640
experience specialists at Johnson Taylor. More information follows this episode.
3
00:00:10.400 --> 00:00:13.080
What if one of the worst things that can happen
4
00:00:13.080 --> 00:00:15.800
in your life leads to one of your most important
5
00:00:15.800 --> 00:00:16.960
decisions ever.
6
00:00:17.760 --> 00:00:20.679
I'm Joe Taylor Junior. This is Search and Replace.
7
00:00:23.600 --> 00:00:26.160
Often on the show we ask folks about a time
8
00:00:26.199 --> 00:00:30.199
in their lives when they made a big change. Sometimes
9
00:00:30.239 --> 00:00:32.240
our guests seek out that change.
10
00:00:32.399 --> 00:00:33.799
Brenda Viola did not.
11
00:00:34.320 --> 00:00:37.719
In twenty twenty one. My mom had been ill for
12
00:00:37.840 --> 00:00:41.600
quite some time and it was during COVID, so it
13
00:00:41.679 --> 00:00:43.759
was one of those situations where we had to just
14
00:00:43.799 --> 00:00:46.719
sort of wave at her from a window and we
15
00:00:46.759 --> 00:00:50.479
couldn't have that warm, fuzzy time in the final years
16
00:00:50.479 --> 00:00:54.159
of her life. But she did eventually pass away, which
17
00:00:54.200 --> 00:00:57.280
was heart wrenching because it was my last parent. My
18
00:00:57.359 --> 00:00:59.320
father had died when I was young, but then in
19
00:00:59.359 --> 00:01:03.439
a one to two punch three months later, the love
20
00:01:03.479 --> 00:01:08.560
of my life suddenly died and we had a beautiful
21
00:01:08.599 --> 00:01:11.640
life together. We had gotten together after I had been
22
00:01:11.719 --> 00:01:17.200
married unhappily. I didn't know I could be happy with someone,
23
00:01:17.959 --> 00:01:20.519
and he was a dream come true.
24
00:01:20.640 --> 00:01:25.400
And he passed away Brenda's story mirrors others that folks
25
00:01:25.439 --> 00:01:28.640
have told us. Having survived such a big change in
26
00:01:28.680 --> 00:01:33.079
one's life, that making yet another change, something that seemed
27
00:01:33.480 --> 00:01:38.359
too huge or totally impossible before, just seems like the
28
00:01:38.640 --> 00:01:39.879
only path forward.
29
00:01:40.319 --> 00:01:40.519
There.
30
00:01:40.560 --> 00:01:45.159
I was left in a town in Florida where I
31
00:01:45.239 --> 00:01:49.040
felt like I no longer fit, and I decided that
32
00:01:49.280 --> 00:01:51.439
I needed after you know, they say wait a year
33
00:01:51.680 --> 00:01:56.319
before you do anything substantial, And I went and visited
34
00:01:56.359 --> 00:02:00.840
California and visited family out here, like, you know what,
35
00:02:00.840 --> 00:02:03.319
what a great place to have a fresh start. So
36
00:02:03.959 --> 00:02:07.120
I told my employer that I would like to move
37
00:02:07.159 --> 00:02:09.599
to California. Now I was a remote worker, so it
38
00:02:09.639 --> 00:02:12.919
was like to me, no problem. Right then I was
39
00:02:13.000 --> 00:02:16.319
told that you can't take your job and move to California.
40
00:02:16.439 --> 00:02:20.759
So I was left without family, without a partner.
41
00:02:20.439 --> 00:02:21.400
Without a job.
42
00:02:21.599 --> 00:02:24.240
And you know, anybody could say, but Brenda, you didn't
43
00:02:24.439 --> 00:02:26.719
need to move to California. You could have kept your
44
00:02:26.840 --> 00:02:30.680
job and not moved. But do you know, sometimes there
45
00:02:30.759 --> 00:02:35.240
is this irresistible must on the inside saying this is
46
00:02:35.360 --> 00:02:38.879
your next step and you must obey it or else
47
00:02:38.919 --> 00:02:40.879
you're going to be miserable the rest of your life.
48
00:02:40.919 --> 00:02:43.479
And torment yourself with what if.
49
00:02:43.639 --> 00:02:47.199
Brenda didn't just prepare to move, she got ready to
50
00:02:47.319 --> 00:02:49.560
completely restart her life.
51
00:02:49.879 --> 00:02:53.280
When I finally made the decision put my house for
52
00:02:53.360 --> 00:02:57.879
sale and I sold everything in it, including my Christmas decoration,
53
00:02:59.039 --> 00:03:04.039
my chotch get, my silverware, I had nothing, and I
54
00:03:04.199 --> 00:03:08.199
wanted it that way because, just like those Facebook memories
55
00:03:08.240 --> 00:03:12.039
that show up and sucker punch you, sometimes seeing the
56
00:03:12.080 --> 00:03:15.120
memories of the past, even the happy ones, brought me
57
00:03:15.199 --> 00:03:18.439
too much pain. I wanted a clean slate. And yeah,
58
00:03:18.439 --> 00:03:23.439
it was pretty dramatic to completely change coasts. And fortunately
59
00:03:23.439 --> 00:03:26.159
I did have family out here, and they've been amazing
60
00:03:26.280 --> 00:03:30.360
and wonderful. I needed a family connection, a sense of
61
00:03:30.439 --> 00:03:34.919
belonging to someone because I felt so untethered and unmoored
62
00:03:34.960 --> 00:03:38.280
by the losses of my mom and my partner. Finding
63
00:03:38.319 --> 00:03:43.960
a new rhythm, a new group of people, new rituals,
64
00:03:44.159 --> 00:03:47.680
new a new gym, a new hairdresser, a new everything,
65
00:03:48.120 --> 00:03:50.520
it was a little bit overwhelming.
66
00:03:51.159 --> 00:03:54.840
So in the face of all that overwhelmed, Brenda focused
67
00:03:54.879 --> 00:03:58.080
on the one thing she could control in her life.
68
00:03:58.199 --> 00:04:01.800
I went all in on me. I'd always made money
69
00:04:01.840 --> 00:04:06.360
for other people, I'd always won awards and done good things,
70
00:04:06.439 --> 00:04:09.879
and I thought, you know what if I start my
71
00:04:10.039 --> 00:04:13.400
own business and start helping other people do the stuff
72
00:04:13.439 --> 00:04:16.879
I've done my entire career. And that's how my company
73
00:04:16.959 --> 00:04:22.439
Vichy Communications VICI, meaning I Conquered, was started because I
74
00:04:22.519 --> 00:04:24.759
had to conquer a bunch of stuff to get here,
75
00:04:24.800 --> 00:04:27.519
and now my mission is to help other people conquer
76
00:04:27.720 --> 00:04:34.439
their stuff, whether it's communications, culture conferences, or even coaching.
77
00:04:34.720 --> 00:04:37.800
I work with people and help them get unstuck and
78
00:04:37.839 --> 00:04:41.240
it's so rewarding. But oh, the path to get here
79
00:04:41.759 --> 00:04:47.319
was filled with pitfalls and roadblocks and painful times. When
80
00:04:47.839 --> 00:04:52.600
you lose people that you love, you realize you're ever
81
00:04:53.040 --> 00:04:57.279
more aware of your own expiration date. Not with the
82
00:04:57.360 --> 00:05:01.800
sense of desperation, but with a sense of purpose, realizing
83
00:05:02.600 --> 00:05:06.680
I don't want to leave this earth without feeling like
84
00:05:06.759 --> 00:05:09.879
I did what I was born to do. That kept
85
00:05:09.920 --> 00:05:14.000
me going. There were moments for I questioned why am
86
00:05:14.040 --> 00:05:17.879
I still here? Everything I care about is gone. Why
87
00:05:17.920 --> 00:05:21.319
am I still here? But then the answer came, well,
88
00:05:21.399 --> 00:05:24.240
you are still here, and therefore there is something for
89
00:05:24.360 --> 00:05:27.439
you to do. And whether I am teaching a class
90
00:05:27.480 --> 00:05:30.920
on communication or whether I'm talking about how to deal
91
00:05:30.959 --> 00:05:35.240
with difficult people, or I'm coaching and building corporate cultures.
92
00:05:35.839 --> 00:05:38.519
I can't help but be and do what I was
93
00:05:38.560 --> 00:05:40.399
born to do, which is encourage people.
94
00:05:40.680 --> 00:05:43.800
Brenda even coined her own phrase to describe her life
95
00:05:43.879 --> 00:05:46.160
and the lives of the clients that she likes to
96
00:05:46.199 --> 00:05:46.680
work with.
97
00:05:47.079 --> 00:05:52.839
I actually trademarked this phrase, You're flawed, but you're awesome.
98
00:05:54.240 --> 00:05:59.800
You're flawsome, Embrace your flossomness, making peace with your imperfection
99
00:06:00.399 --> 00:06:05.399
and sharing my broken road that led me to where
100
00:06:05.399 --> 00:06:09.160
I am today. And I'm sixty and I feel like
101
00:06:09.279 --> 00:06:13.040
I'm just getting started because I want to. None of
102
00:06:13.120 --> 00:06:16.000
us get a haul pass from pain. It's how we
103
00:06:16.040 --> 00:06:19.240
respond to it that makes us or breaks us. We
104
00:06:19.360 --> 00:06:24.480
can either be victims of circumstances or victors. And that's
105
00:06:24.519 --> 00:06:28.399
not to say that the rising up from the ashes
106
00:06:28.519 --> 00:06:31.879
is immediate. But I have found that I've been given
107
00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:35.279
beauty for ashes and that I am a better person
108
00:06:35.600 --> 00:06:40.000
because of the difficult times. It is the strength that
109
00:06:40.079 --> 00:06:44.399
you gain from pressing on in that dark place that
110
00:06:44.560 --> 00:06:48.199
creates the strength in your wings so you can fly.
111
00:06:49.040 --> 00:06:53.480
That's communications consultant and professional speaker Brenda Viola. We've got
112
00:06:53.480 --> 00:06:55.680
links to Brenda's work and our show notes, and on
113
00:06:55.759 --> 00:07:00.199
our website at Search and Replace that show. Today's episode
114
00:07:00.240 --> 00:07:02.480
was produced by Nicole Hubbard with help from the entire
115
00:07:02.560 --> 00:07:03.720
podcast Taxi team.
116
00:07:04.000 --> 00:07:05.199
I'm Joe Taylor Jr.
117
00:07:05.519 --> 00:07:09.920
This has been a podcast Taxi Radio production support for
118
00:07:10.040 --> 00:07:13.839
Search and Replace is provided by Johnson Taylor User Experience
119
00:07:13.879 --> 00:07:18.439
specialists serving media and technology companies that want their websites
120
00:07:18.519 --> 00:07:22.759
to work. Learn more about how top performing businesses eliminate
121
00:07:22.879 --> 00:07:28.040
barriers between customers and their goals at www dot Make
122
00:07:28.079 --> 00:07:31.800
the website work for me dot com
