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Welcome to Sacred Disruption Podcast.
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My name is Alyssa Marie, and I am so happy you are here.
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I hope that you will take some time to have an honest conversation with me, a conversation about faith, about life, about healing, relationships, and all those moments that life disrupts when we think we have it in order.
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This is a place where we can be honest and authentic, where we're free to ask questions and dig a little more.
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If this is your first time here, I'm glad that you found me and that you, have some form of sacred disruption happening in your life.
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If you're a returning listener, welcome back.
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Before we get into today's conversation, there's just a few things that I want to put disclaimers on.
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Number one, I am not a theologian, I am not a pastor, and I'm not here pretending to have all or any of the answers.
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I am a woman who has lived 50-something years of life, and I've...
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the last eight years spent questioning a lot of things.
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I've unlearned some things.
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I've had some things fall completely apart in my life, and I've had moments when I could feel God, Spirit, Universe, whatever language resonates with you, showing me something long before I understood what it was I was looking at.
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So when we talk about scripture here, I'm not interested in just telling you what happened to somebody 1,000 years ago.
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I'm not interested in telling you what the world has said we should see...
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i'm always asking, and so when I'm talking about scripture, I hope you are asking: What does this scripture reveal about me?
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What does this story reveal about me?
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Does it reveal something that is awakening within me?
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Is it causing me to ask more questions?
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What is so strange about this season in my life?
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If you found me, I betcha these are some of the things that are going on in your head A few other disclaimers I wanna make mention of.
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I tend to use creative language.
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That's just part of the podcast.
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I hope it doesn't offend you.
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It's not its intent.
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But if it does, please think about another podcast maybe to listen to.
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Third, I think I'm third.
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I don't know.
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I don't know what number we're on.
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But the last, and really only intentional disclaimer is that because we're in my at-home studio, there is bound to be some background noise.
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We are attempting to be as professional as we can be, but life happens.
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Nothing is perfect, so you're bound to hear the dog licking himself, unfortunately.
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I'll try and edit that out.
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but yeah, you might hear a bird or a cricket or something.
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I don't know.
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We'll just keep it like life happens, okay?
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So if you've joined me before, I've talked about random things.
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I've had people on the podcast.
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We've covered, you know, a myriad of of, topics.
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And I feel led at this point to kind of bring in, since we're in, I, I think, yeah, we're in the last quarter of the year at this point, to bring in a series, and I love a good series.
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I don't know about y'all, but I, love I find something on one of these channels, you know?
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And if it's a series, then I'm like,"Oh, yummy, let me get into it,"'cause that means that's gonna be, many nights of watching this thing.
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I'm gonna get saturated in it.
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So I'm bringing a series to the podcast that, has been on my heart, and it's on my heart, one, because I'm personally a fan of this character in the, Bible.
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it's David, by the way.
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I don't know if I said that or not, but King David.
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he is one of my favorite, most resonated characters to read about.
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and so I wanna talk about his life, but I, I wanna talk about it from the standpoint of his awakening.
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I believe that David went through an awakening that we can parallel closely to our life.
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It starts with the anointing, and we'll talk about that here in just a bit, but I also wanna touch on the other stages because I find that there are five distinct stages, in his awakening that we can parallel life to in our own awakening state.
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like I said, the first is the anointing.
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The second is the training, the disruption, the wilderness, and the becoming.
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I feel like David's story is one in which he starts out as a shepherd.
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He comes onto the scene as a shepherd anyway, and then he goes out as the man after God's own heart.
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That's what we learn, you know?
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That's how God saw him.
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And so I think that there is a parallel to be discussed and gone deeper into as we look at his life and, and not from the sense of the story that we all learned in, you know, Sunday school or, or in church, but the story that we dig deep into that we go into the layers of what was his psyche, what was his mental.
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You know?
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Let, let's look at it from a different perspective.
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What, what was going through his head?
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this man, this, this prophet comes, this priest comes and anoints him amongst all of his family.
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And says,"You're gon- you're gonna be the king of Israel." I, I wanna go back and look.
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Did he say,"You are the king of Israel," or,"You're gonna be the king of Israel"?
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I don't know.
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That's an important part.
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But either way, he was a shepherd.
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He was a young teenage kid, you know, and he, his sole responsibility was keeping sheep But there was this other part of David, right?
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'Cause there's always another part of us, the part that is just quiet.
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It's kept, it's personal The part of David where he spent time writing in his journal, lamenting The times when he sang to the sheep.
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He sang a prayer, he played his instrument The moments where he watched the sun go up and the sun come down when he had to fight a lion or a bear To save his sheep.
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It sounds amazing, right?
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But this was just an everyday life of a shepherd.
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Maybe not the journaling and the singing, that was unique unto him.
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But, you know, I mean, I'm pretty sure if you were a shepherd, you had to fight off some things and do your job.
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So he had this job he had to do.
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We all have to do a job.
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We all have a job to do.
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And then simultaneously, he's being anointed king over Israel.
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Now, this isn't like, I mean, you know, you're...
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I don't know, it, it, he's being anointed king over Israel, and that's a big, huge deal.
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He knows, his family knows, and the sheep know.
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That's about, all who know.
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And he has to live his life knowing, knowing this big thing has been revealed unto him.
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It's probably be actually something that was confirmed for him now in the physical sense.
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He probably had already had this conversation with God that told him,"This is what is to come to your life." Much like we have conversations with God privately, secretly, that no one knows about, where God tells us something is going to happen in your life, in my life And then we look around us and there's nothing but sheep and the job And then we look crazy if we go out and tell,"Hey, yo, I got anointed.
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I'm anointed.
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I'm be- I'm king.
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I'm king." I mean, really, I mean, it's not far-fetched.
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We got a lot of people out there right now screaming at the top of their lungs that they are king.
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And when I say king, I'm not talking about an, a, an identity in terms of sex, like male, female.
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I'm talking about, the energy There is such a thing as a false king Let me segue a little bit into Saul here,'cause, you know, if we're talking about false kings, Saul was not a false king.
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He was a king gone awry.
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That can happen too.
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You can be really intentional in the beginning and then go awry I think that, you know, if we talk about Saul, since we're talking about kings gone awry, we have to know that he did still sit on the throne when David was anointed.
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It wasn't as if he was anointed king for a place, you know, backfilling a position.
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He wasn't backfilling.
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There was a king actually on the throne.
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So how do we compare that to us today?
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How do we look at that and say, okay, how does it feel?
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How do we work through being told that something is yours When someone is already in that space I think there's a huge lesson to be learned there We don't just kick him out of the throne room.
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We don't just say,"Okay, I'm here now.
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The seat's mine.
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Get out." We're gonna break down what does it mean?
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What does it mean to honor the people who came before you but didn't do it right How do you still respect them, love them, pray for them, hold them in your heart, but they didn't do you right And they didn't do it right I remember when my dad finally, like finally came clean about his infidelity.
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I remember he was not with us, but we were sitting in a restaurant, my mother and I.
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I think it was just her and I in Homewood, Alabama.
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And my mom said, you know, she asked me how I was doing, and I, I said,"You know, I'm-" I was just reeling really'cause it was a lot.
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And I remember thinking, I, I don't remember.
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I, I know distinctly, I started crying in the restaurant and my mom's like,"Why are you crying?" And I said,"I, I, I don't want Parkinson's." I just kept saying it over and over again,"I don't want Parkinson's syndrome." My dad has Parkinson's syndrome.
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And if you ask me, Parkinson's syndrome is the worst thing that could happen to someone who is an orator.
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My dad would open his mouth and people would stop and listen And that was taken away.
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But I was young.
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I didn't know.
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I was naive, and I thought God was a punisher And so all the words I could say was,"I don't want Parkinson's.
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I don't want Parkinson's," as I cried to my mother.
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Because to me, at that point, my dad had Parkinson's as a result of his infidelity because he had been called by God to preach to the masses, and he messed it up Just like Saul And I was called.
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I am called, just like David.
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And it has taken me decades to get here But in that calling, I have messed up time and time and time again.
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And it is because of that that I was then able to see God loves me no matter what.
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Just like David, I am a woman after God's own heart.
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David was a man after God's own heart.
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My dad was a man after God's own heart, is a man after God's own heart God loves the flawed He fucks with you He sent the homie to kick it with you To show you, I don't know if I mentioned John 15.
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I have to read it in the Message version.
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I'm not gonna read it for you.
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You go look at it.
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But the Message version invokes a vibe And Jesus was saying to the disciples, he's like,"Yo, I gotta go.
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I'm about to be out.
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But that's okay though, don't worry,'cause the homie's coming.
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And if the homie comes, yo, hey, you got this.
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Don't worry about it." And they were like, you know,"No, no." And he was like,"Yo, no, don't worry about it.
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The homie's coming." And thank you, Jesus,'cause the homie and I kick it hard.
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The homie is the Holy Spirit.
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It doesn't matter where you are.
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You can be in a dark room shooting up, the homie is kicking it with you right there next to you You could have messed up endless times.
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The homie will not leave you That's the beauty of it.
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So we learn through David and through the awakening of ourselves to open up and see him differently, to walk with him through this journey of being anointed by the man of God, and then having days, weeks, and months go by before anything changes in his world A lot of times we're told something.
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God tells us the beginning before we ever even can believe it ourselves halfway.
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And then when we do get a, a manifestation in a physical sense that reflects back to us, yeah, no, God was right.
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He said this is what was gonna happen, and okay, I just...
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A little bit of a nugget came, and now I know, okay, this is for real.
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But even still, I- there's a whole lot of life between slaying this giant and then being chased after by Saul and his people, and then, you know, he, th- finally he became king, and then that came with a whole bunch of stuff.
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I mean, really guys, there's no easy way to segue out of this conversation except to tell you how much I appreciate you I mean, I really do Thank you for kicking it with me, and I hope that you'll come back and listen to some more.
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This is just one of a five-part series this is Sacred Disruption.
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My name is Alyssa Marie, and I'll talk to you next time.
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Peace.
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Welcome to Sacred Disruption Podcast.
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My name is Alyssa Marie, and I am so happy you are here.
00:00:07.312 --> 00:00:28.734
I hope that you will take some time to have an honest conversation with me, a conversation about faith, about life, about healing, relationships, and all those moments that life disrupts when we think we have it in order.
00:00:29.734 --> 00:00:37.295
This is a place where we can be honest and authentic, where we're free to ask questions and dig a little more.
00:00:38.295 --> 00:00:46.179
If this is your first time here, I'm glad that you found me and that you, have some form of sacred disruption happening in your life.
00:00:47.179 --> 00:00:50.063
If you're a returning listener, welcome back.
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Before we get into today's conversation, there's just a few things that I want to put disclaimers on.
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Number one, I am not a theologian, I am not a pastor, and I'm not here pretending to have all or any of the answers.
00:01:08.194 --> 00:01:15.034
I am a woman who has lived 50-something years of life, and I've...
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the last eight years spent questioning a lot of things.
00:01:20.147 --> 00:01:22.125
I've unlearned some things.
00:01:22.606 --> 00:01:44.224
I've had some things fall completely apart in my life, and I've had moments when I could feel God, Spirit, Universe, whatever language resonates with you, showing me something long before I understood what it was I was looking at.
00:01:45.224 --> 00:01:52.680
So when we talk about scripture here, I'm not interested in just telling you what happened to somebody 1,000 years ago.
00:01:54.099 --> 00:01:59.740
I'm not interested in telling you what the world has said we should see...
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i'm always asking, and so when I'm talking about scripture, I hope you are asking: What does this scripture reveal about me?
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What does this story reveal about me?
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Does it reveal something that is awakening within me?
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Is it causing me to ask more questions?
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What is so strange about this season in my life?
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If you found me, I betcha these are some of the things that are going on in your head A few other disclaimers I wanna make mention of.
00:02:36.156 --> 00:02:38.093
I tend to use creative language.
00:02:38.417 --> 00:02:40.078
That's just part of the podcast.
00:02:40.375 --> 00:02:41.692
I hope it doesn't offend you.
00:02:41.758 --> 00:02:43.145
It's not its intent.
00:02:43.650 --> 00:02:47.633
But if it does, please think about another podcast maybe to listen to.
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Third, I think I'm third.
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I don't know.
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I don't know what number we're on.
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But the last, and really only intentional disclaimer is that because we're in my at-home studio, there is bound to be some background noise.
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We are attempting to be as professional as we can be, but life happens.
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Nothing is perfect, so you're bound to hear the dog licking himself, unfortunately.
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I'll try and edit that out.
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but yeah, you might hear a bird or a cricket or something.
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I don't know.
00:03:24.209 --> 00:03:27.205
We'll just keep it like life happens, okay?
00:03:28.205 --> 00:03:31.611
So if you've joined me before, I've talked about random things.
00:03:31.611 --> 00:03:33.400
I've had people on the podcast.
00:03:33.430 --> 00:03:38.573
We've covered, you know, a myriad of of, topics.
00:03:39.274 --> 00:03:53.764
And I feel led at this point to kind of bring in, since we're in, I, I think, yeah, we're in the last quarter of the year at this point, to bring in a series, and I love a good series.
00:03:53.824 --> 00:03:59.655
I don't know about y'all, but I, love I find something on one of these channels, you know?
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And if it's a series, then I'm like,"Oh, yummy, let me get into it,"'cause that means that's gonna be, many nights of watching this thing.
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I'm gonna get saturated in it.
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So I'm bringing a series to the podcast that, has been on my heart, and it's on my heart, one, because I'm personally a fan of this character in the, Bible.
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it's David, by the way.
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I don't know if I said that or not, but King David.
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he is one of my favorite, most resonated characters to read about.
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and so I wanna talk about his life, but I, I wanna talk about it from the standpoint of his awakening.
00:04:41.187 --> 00:04:46.947
I believe that David went through an awakening that we can parallel closely to our life.
00:04:46.964 --> 00:05:04.305
It starts with the anointing, and we'll talk about that here in just a bit, but I also wanna touch on the other stages because I find that there are five distinct stages, in his awakening that we can parallel life to in our own awakening state.
00:05:05.026 --> 00:05:07.117
like I said, the first is the anointing.
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The second is the training, the disruption, the wilderness, and the becoming.
00:05:14.952 --> 00:05:20.619
I feel like David's story is one in which he starts out as a shepherd.
00:05:20.649 --> 00:05:27.706
He comes onto the scene as a shepherd anyway, and then he goes out as the man after God's own heart.
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That's what we learn, you know?
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That's how God saw him.
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And so I think that there is a parallel to be discussed and gone deeper into as we look at his life and, and not from the sense of the story that we all learned in, you know, Sunday school or, or in church, but the story that we dig deep into that we go into the layers of what was his psyche, what was his mental.
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You know?
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Let, let's look at it from a different perspective.
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What, what was going through his head?
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this man, this, this prophet comes, this priest comes and anoints him amongst all of his family.
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And says,"You're gon- you're gonna be the king of Israel." I, I wanna go back and look.
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Did he say,"You are the king of Israel," or,"You're gonna be the king of Israel"?
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I don't know.
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That's an important part.
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But either way, he was a shepherd.
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He was a young teenage kid, you know, and he, his sole responsibility was keeping sheep But there was this other part of David, right?
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'Cause there's always another part of us, the part that is just quiet.
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It's kept, it's personal The part of David where he spent time writing in his journal, lamenting The times when he sang to the sheep.
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He sang a prayer, he played his instrument The moments where he watched the sun go up and the sun come down when he had to fight a lion or a bear To save his sheep.
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It sounds amazing, right?
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But this was just an everyday life of a shepherd.
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Maybe not the journaling and the singing, that was unique unto him.
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But, you know, I mean, I'm pretty sure if you were a shepherd, you had to fight off some things and do your job.
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So he had this job he had to do.
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We all have to do a job.
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We all have a job to do.
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And then simultaneously, he's being anointed king over Israel.
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Now, this isn't like, I mean, you know, you're...
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I don't know, it, it, he's being anointed king over Israel, and that's a big, huge deal.
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He knows, his family knows, and the sheep know.
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That's about, all who know.
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And he has to live his life knowing, knowing this big thing has been revealed unto him.
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It's probably be actually something that was confirmed for him now in the physical sense.
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He probably had already had this conversation with God that told him,"This is what is to come to your life." Much like we have conversations with God privately, secretly, that no one knows about, where God tells us something is going to happen in your life, in my life And then we look around us and there's nothing but sheep and the job And then we look crazy if we go out and tell,"Hey, yo, I got anointed.
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I'm anointed.
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I'm be- I'm king.
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I'm king." I mean, really, I mean, it's not far-fetched.
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We got a lot of people out there right now screaming at the top of their lungs that they are king.
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And when I say king, I'm not talking about an, a, an identity in terms of sex, like male, female.
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I'm talking about, the energy There is such a thing as a false king Let me segue a little bit into Saul here,'cause, you know, if we're talking about false kings, Saul was not a false king.
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He was a king gone awry.
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That can happen too.
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You can be really intentional in the beginning and then go awry I think that, you know, if we talk about Saul, since we're talking about kings gone awry, we have to know that he did still sit on the throne when David was anointed.
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It wasn't as if he was anointed king for a place, you know, backfilling a position.
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He wasn't backfilling.
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There was a king actually on the throne.
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So how do we compare that to us today?
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How do we look at that and say, okay, how does it feel?
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How do we work through being told that something is yours When someone is already in that space I think there's a huge lesson to be learned there We don't just kick him out of the throne room.
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We don't just say,"Okay, I'm here now.
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The seat's mine.
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Get out." We're gonna break down what does it mean?
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What does it mean to honor the people who came before you but didn't do it right How do you still respect them, love them, pray for them, hold them in your heart, but they didn't do you right And they didn't do it right I remember when my dad finally, like finally came clean about his infidelity.
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I remember he was not with us, but we were sitting in a restaurant, my mother and I.
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I think it was just her and I in Homewood, Alabama.
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And my mom said, you know, she asked me how I was doing, and I, I said,"You know, I'm-" I was just reeling really'cause it was a lot.
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And I remember thinking, I, I don't remember.
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I, I know distinctly, I started crying in the restaurant and my mom's like,"Why are you crying?" And I said,"I, I, I don't want Parkinson's." I just kept saying it over and over again,"I don't want Parkinson's syndrome." My dad has Parkinson's syndrome.
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And if you ask me, Parkinson's syndrome is the worst thing that could happen to someone who is an orator.
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My dad would open his mouth and people would stop and listen And that was taken away.
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But I was young.
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I didn't know.
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I was naive, and I thought God was a punisher And so all the words I could say was,"I don't want Parkinson's.
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I don't want Parkinson's," as I cried to my mother.
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Because to me, at that point, my dad had Parkinson's as a result of his infidelity because he had been called by God to preach to the masses, and he messed it up Just like Saul And I was called.
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I am called, just like David.
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And it has taken me decades to get here But in that calling, I have messed up time and time and time again.
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And it is because of that that I was then able to see God loves me no matter what.
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Just like David, I am a woman after God's own heart.
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David was a man after God's own heart.
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My dad was a man after God's own heart, is a man after God's own heart God loves the flawed He fucks with you He sent the homie to kick it with you To show you, I don't know if I mentioned John 15.
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I have to read it in the Message version.
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I'm not gonna read it for you.
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You go look at it.
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But the Message version invokes a vibe And Jesus was saying to the disciples, he's like,"Yo, I gotta go.
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I'm about to be out.
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But that's okay though, don't worry,'cause the homie's coming.
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And if the homie comes, yo, hey, you got this.
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Don't worry about it." And they were like, you know,"No, no." And he was like,"Yo, no, don't worry about it.
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The homie's coming." And thank you, Jesus,'cause the homie and I kick it hard.
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The homie is the Holy Spirit.
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It doesn't matter where you are.
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You can be in a dark room shooting up, the homie is kicking it with you right there next to you You could have messed up endless times.
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The homie will not leave you That's the beauty of it.
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So we learn through David and through the awakening of ourselves to open up and see him differently, to walk with him through this journey of being anointed by the man of God, and then having days, weeks, and months go by before anything changes in his world A lot of times we're told something.
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God tells us the beginning before we ever even can believe it ourselves halfway.
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And then when we do get a, a manifestation in a physical sense that reflects back to us, yeah, no, God was right.
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He said this is what was gonna happen, and okay, I just...
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A little bit of a nugget came, and now I know, okay, this is for real.
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But even still, I- there's a whole lot of life between slaying this giant and then being chased after by Saul and his people, and then, you know, he, th- finally he became king, and then that came with a whole bunch of stuff.
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I mean, really guys, there's no easy way to segue out of this conversation except to tell you how much I appreciate you I mean, I really do Thank you for kicking it with me, and I hope that you'll come back and listen to some more.
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This is just one of a five-part series this is Sacred Disruption.
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My name is Alyssa Marie, and I'll talk to you next time.
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Peace.
