430: How Restriction Fuels Binge Eating (and How to Overcome It) with Kelly Lyons

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this is the Real Life Runners Podcast, episode number 430.
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Today I get to sit down with Kelly Lyons and we talk about a topic that a lot of people.
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Struggle with, but not a lot of people talk about, and that is binge eating.
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Especially as runners, we are often very conscious and try to be healthy.
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And for a lot of people that leads to restriction, which unfortunately can lead a lot of runners into the cycle of restricting and binge eating.
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So today I talk to Kelly, who is a.
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An expert in this area, and she breaks down the three hidden patterns that can be the root causes of binge eating and how to overcome them.
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So if this is ever something that you have struggled with, stay tuned.
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Welcome to the podcast today.
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I am so excited to have Kelly Lyons here with me.
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Hello, Kelly.
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How are you?
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Hello.
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I'm so excited to be here.
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Thank you so much for having me.
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thank you for joining me.
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I'm very excited to dig into this topic today because I think it's one that a lot of runners deal with, whether they like to admit it or not, because this is a topic today.
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We're talking about binge eating, and like emotional eating and all of those things.
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It is.
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More of a sensitive topic, I think.
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And so can you just before we dive into, the topic of the hour, give us a little bit of an idea about who you are, what you do, who do you help, and how you got into this line of work.
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Yeah, sure.
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thank you again, Angie, for so much for having me.
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again, everyone, I'm so excited to be here.
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My name is Kelly Lyons and I am a nutrition and eating psychology coach.
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And what I do is I help women stop binge eating, stop overeating so they can feel in control around food.
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And the way I do that is actually a little bit unconventional because a lot of times people who stop binge eating based.
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Start another diet or they cut carbs or they, work out 15 times a week.
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Yeah.
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Thinking they need more willpower.
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And in reality that's the thing that's making their binging, their overeating and food obsession worse.
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So what we actually do with the people in my world who struggle with this is we work on finding your root cause and then rewiring your brain.
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So food no longer has this emotional like obsessive.
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Hold over you.
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And just to get into how I came across this and starting helping others was not only my knowledge and my education, but also my experience.
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I struggled with binge eating for well over 12 years of my life.
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And it's so funny that you say you're like, it's not talked about a lot.
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It's, it is 100% a sensitive topic, but it's also so isolating.
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That people who struggle, they struggle in silence because.
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Binge eating is a, it, it's a habit or a routine that's based around shame, guilt, judgment, self-loathing.
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So it's something that is so insanely secretive and I think just us having this conversation is.
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So important because a lot of people who are extremely active or athletes or runners, no matter your level of experience, so many people struggle with this.
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So I'm really excited to have this conversation.
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Yeah, I am too.
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So you said you've struggled with this for 12 years.
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Could you give us a little bit of an insight into that journey of like how it started with you and then when you realized it was a problem?
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Yeah.
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What is your experience here?
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Yeah, absolutely.
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So mine was actually, it started, my senior year in high school.
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And just to kinda let's, we don't need to go too deep, but what happened was basically like I just felt very lost in my senior year of high school.
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I was an athlete and.
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Sports ended.
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I wasn't sure if I was playing in college and I had so many friends that had like their life figured out, right?
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They had their major, they knew what college they were going to.
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They knew their next chapter, and I didn't.
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And usually when I was playing sports, I was getting home at 6 30, 7 o'clock at night.
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Now I was getting home at 2 40, 2 45 in the afternoon.
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No one was home because my parents were working, and I was lost alone.
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I didn't know what to do with myself.
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I didn't turn, I had no one to really turn to, and I will never forget the first day I went into the cabinet.
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I had the chewy, chipsa, hoy, like the red thin ones.
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And I had a couple and I realized.
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How good they tasted.
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It was almost like something lit up like, wow, I felt better eating that.
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And I ate the entire fricking thing.
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And because I was now 17 and I had my license, I was able, I was like, as soon as I did it, I was like, oh my God, what am I gonna do?
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My parents are gonna be like, where the hell did the cookies go?
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So I drove out and I got another thing to replenish.
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Realize that I could like.
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Do this all the time.
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And immediately this was something that was happening like every day as a form of comfort.
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And I gained, naturally some weight and I started Weight Watchers as what most people did back in the day, right?
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And I started Weight Watchers and my first week, of course, type A perfectionist, overachiever, I followed it perfectly.
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I didn't go over one point and I lost six pounds in that first week.
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And I immediately was like, oh my gosh, I found the answer.
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I'm gonna get my life back.
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I'm gonna.
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Stop this, blah, blah, blah, and I weighed in.
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I went to my meeting, and then boom, I took my car and I went right to McDonald's to celebrate.
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And it was almost like this switch of, okay, I did everything perfect.
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I get to reward myself, eat all day.
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Then that Sunday I had to be perfect again and in my mind, me having to be perfect again led to having to eat everything right then and there.
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And then I started going into some really dark rabbit holes of different diets, going, like working out multiple times a day.
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Like I would take a class at five in the morning, I would go during lunch, and then I would go at night just to try to.
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Get my willpower and get my, get myself back thinking that would help.
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This serious issue that I was going through and nobody knew about.
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And again, this was years and years of every diet, every rule book, every exercise, every high intensity, multiple times a day to try to get myself outta this cycle.
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But like I didn't recognize, of course, looking back now, everything I did just made everything worse and worse.
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It was like that snowball effect going down a hill, right?
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The snowball just got bigger and bigger as it was picking up, speed.
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it was such a traumatic time that so many people didn't know about.
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And now looking back, recognizing, okay, let's actually try to heal from the inside out because all I'm doing is, I'm on Pinterest, I'm on Google, I'm buying the books, getting the recipes.
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Getting all this stuff, hiring the people to help me.
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And nothing was working.
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And I was like, okay, this started as an inside job, let's fix it from an inside job.
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And that's how I was starting to slowly heal.
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That's beautiful.
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And like you touch on so many things there in, your own journey that I would love to highlight and dig a little bit deeper into.
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And one of those things is this idea that diet culture wants to.
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Tell us, which is, you have to run to burn calories, you have to exercise to burn calories, or you have to exercise to earn your food.
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Did you ever like go through that whole thing of using exercise or running as like a means to an end here?
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Oh, totally.
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Yeah.
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And This was my experience from a while ago, but I will tell you there, I wanna say a couple months ago, somebody sent me a Noom ad.
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It was like one ice cream cone equals 1.5 miles of running.
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And it's, I hate those things, but that was literally like a couple months ago.
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So it's oh my God, while my experience, it's still there.
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It's still there.
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Yeah.
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And it's still in our faces, so 100%.
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And you know what the sad thing is?
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Looking back and it's funny, I'm like, I wonder why I'm not friends with these people anymore.
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My friendships.
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My friendships were created from hating our bodies.
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And we.
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Like we, we consoled each other in the sense of we would have pizza at night.
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We would talk about how disgusting our legs were and how many miles we had to run the next day.
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And what time we were gonna meet up for the gym to burn off what we were eating tonight.
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Yes.
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I was not able to compartmentalize my exercise routine.
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And what I was eating, it immediately became, if I have this, then I have to run.
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If I have this, then I have to go to the gym.
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Not once, but twice.
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If I was really bad, guess what?
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My ass was getting there three times a day.
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Yeah.
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And not only was I injured all the time, but yeah.
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Absolutely miserable.
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And it was it was really actually heartbreaking because growing up playing sports my entire life, I loved it.
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I loved it so much.
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And all of a sudden it became a source of punishment.
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A source of me being a failure, a source of me having to right all of my wrongs.
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Like I felt like I was like going into confession every time I would.
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Yeah.
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And it immediately became this, I am a bad person.
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From what I'm eating and I have to make up for it.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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It's awful.
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it is awful and I think that like it is something that I think a lot of runners do.
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Share whether they want to admit it or not, and whether that was the original reason that they got into running.
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A lot of people do end up finding themselves in that place at some point in time.
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I know that it, I have a similar story as well.
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I got into running just because I wanted to burn calories and lose weight and quote unquote look like a runner, right?
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Because runners have skinny bodies.
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That sounds like a great idea.
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Let me just go do what they're doing.
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but let's go back to binge eating, and just this topic of binge eating because.
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I really want to help our listeners understand the brain-based reasons why we binge, right?
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Because this is something that you just fell into one day by the sounds of it.
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You came home from school, you had nothing else to do.
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You're like, oh, I found these cookies in the cabinet.
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But then it turned into this huge snowball like you experienced here.
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Why does that happen?
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what is going on in our brain that.
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Leads to binging and guilt and binging and guilt in this cycle that women find themselves in.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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And there's a couple things, but I, the first thing when you talked about, wanting to start running for that reason, I will never forget my now husband, we were just dating at the time.
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We moved in together and, we had a girl, we were in like this little condo complex.
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We had a.
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Grocery store right below us.
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And I'll never forget, he was asleep.
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I went downstairs, I brought, I got food.
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And like he woke up the next morning and he's what are you talking about?
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And I was like, what do you mean?
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He's you texted me at two o'clock in the morning saying you just signed up for your first half marathon.
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And I was like, because, and like of course it was because I binged, I hated myself and I needed that solution.
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Yep.
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And like that.
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So when, and you needed
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your solution right then and there.
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Oh.
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Because like your brain was like
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grasping for it.
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Oh, I'm gonna fix it.
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Let's find, do half marathons near me.
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Let's just go run 13 miles.
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And of course, great idea.
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Yeah.
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But yeah.
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So before I get into the reasons why we actually.
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Do binge because there are three really large umbrellas.
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I think really just talking about the cycle of binging and having to work off this food would be really beneficial for your listeners too.
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Absolutely.
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So I think of it as like a circle.
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So the first thing we wanna do, so there's five steps, right?
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The first thing we wanna do is we want to lose weight.
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So what do we do?
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Step one is we start a diet, and step two is when we start this diet, we restrict in some way, shape, or form.
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It's.
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Calories, certain macros or like we can't have bread any, or can't have, the foods that we like, whatever it is a form of restriction.
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And stage three is my favorite because like we think we can outsmart our bodies and that is the farthest thing from the, our bodies are so much smarter than we are, so we start to have cravings and they get louder and louder, and then something tips them off, right?
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For me, it was my feeling of anxiety, feeling lonely, or we just can't handle our cravings anymore.
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And then it's, we give in and that's when we don't just have one cookie, we have the whole box of cookies, we eat everything.
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And immediately from that binge, we have the guilt, the shame, the self-loathing.
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Now not only do I have to lose all the weight that I initially wanted, I have to lose the weight that I just binged that I just got from binging.
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And what happens is we have extreme guilt and the only way to get rid of that guilt.
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Is to work it off, make up for it, start another diet and that Running more food rules and then we start back at stage one.
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So you are literally going in a circle around and around.
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And that's why so many people like they, they feel like they can't get out of it because they aren't able to cut that cord.
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You know what I mean?
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Yeah.
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Because they're trying to solve that problem with restriction and your body can only be restricted for so long, and then the, your own bo body's natural instincts will kick in.
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Which will then lead to more eating and more of the same thing.
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We're solving, we're trying to solve the problem with the exact thing that caused it.
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So there are a couple, like I mentioned, umbrellas that I like to call them as to why people binge.
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So the first one is restriction driven, and that is when.
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You are not giving your body the proper fuel.
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And the proper nutrients and the proper macros and balanced plates, whatever it is to fuel your body to the best of its ability.
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Yep.
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That is what happens when, like a perfect example is we wake up, we have to be good, right?
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We have our egg white omelet.
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we, for lunch, we have our grilled chicken salad.
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Maybe we have an apple if we're lucky.
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And then it's like we get home from work and we are.
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Hangry.
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We are losing our minds.
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We are irritable and all of a sudden something happens and we're like, why am I even bothering?
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Let's eat.
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Yeah.
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And it's
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a biological response.
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To the lack of food we are giving ourselves.
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And I know you're a big proponent of this, but like we need to have carbs.
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Yeah.
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Yes.
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Especially as runners when Oh my gosh.
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And even just like.
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Thinking about it in that sense, when you are running and the amount of extra fuel you need before and after, and as you're the professional on this during, depending if it's like a long endurance run, right?
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If you are not giving your body that your body is going to get that food in one way or another.
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And it's usually in the form of cookies, chips, ice cream, pretzels.
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You're standing in front of the fridge like shoveling shredded cheese.
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And.
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Immediately having that guilt and shame after.
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Yeah.
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And I shredded cheese, like falling all
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over the floor.
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Literally.
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Yeah.
00:15:02.042 --> 00:15:10.851
like I'll never forget when I was living at home, my dad walked downstairs and I was just like eating cold pasta from the Tupperware and People, your listeners, right?
00:15:10.851 --> 00:15:12.831
You may be like, okay, Kel, that's crazy.
00:15:12.831 --> 00:15:13.971
that isn't my level.
00:15:14.182 --> 00:15:18.741
You don't have to be like face first in the fridge, like Garfield, right?
00:15:18.741 --> 00:15:21.081
Like the orange couch shoveling the food.
00:15:21.981 --> 00:15:26.192
If you can still have a really terrible relationship with food and exercise.
00:15:26.192 --> 00:15:26.371
Yeah.
00:15:26.371 --> 00:15:26.491
If you
00:15:27.047 --> 00:15:27.167
are.
00:15:28.017 --> 00:15:33.167
Eating, to have the perfect body and then running to work off what you just ate.
00:15:33.287 --> 00:15:40.157
So there's, it's a really, a lot of people see it as black and white, but it's actually a very large spectrum of what it can look like for people.
00:15:40.157 --> 00:15:40.397
Yeah,
00:15:40.397 --> 00:15:40.937
I agree.
00:15:40.937 --> 00:15:48.407
And I think that there's a lot of people that fall into this trap when they start signing up for long, longer races as well, like half marathons and marathons.
00:15:48.917 --> 00:15:50.506
A lot of people like you.
00:15:50.726 --> 00:15:53.846
Sign up for the, like that first race to lose weight, right?
00:15:53.846 --> 00:15:57.116
They're like, I need to lose weight, so I need something to keep me motivated.
00:15:57.116 --> 00:16:01.782
If I sign up for this race, then I will have something on the calendar that will make me go out and do the thing.
00:16:01.861 --> 00:16:08.412
And so what they do is they are trying to train for a longer race, make their body do something harder than they've ever done before.
00:16:08.767 --> 00:16:13.956
And restricting their food because they think they're still in that calorie mentality, right?
00:16:13.956 --> 00:16:14.976
Of this is gonna be great.
00:16:15.157 --> 00:16:17.777
I'm just gonna keep eating the same amount or even less.
00:16:17.777 --> 00:16:18.917
And then running more.
00:16:18.917 --> 00:16:21.981
I'm gonna be burning like a thousand extra calories a day.
00:16:21.981 --> 00:16:25.942
I'm gonna be putting myself in a huge deficit, and that's gonna lead me to the body that I want.
00:16:25.942 --> 00:16:31.782
And in reality, it needs to complete, burnout and failure because you're not giving your body what it needs.
00:16:31.782 --> 00:16:32.236
And like you said.
00:16:32.831 --> 00:16:37.182
Your body's always going to stimulate you to get what you need.
00:16:37.182 --> 00:16:43.991
And a lot of people do end up binging and eating a lot and they're like, I just don't understand why I have all of these sugar cravings.
00:16:43.991 --> 00:16:45.131
This is so weird.
00:16:45.131 --> 00:16:49.621
It's be, and I'm, I tell them it's because you're not giving your body what it actually needs.
00:16:49.621 --> 00:16:59.341
And so it, it's going to give you those cravings for that fast sugar in order to get into your bloodstream to try to satisfy some of the deficits that you are creating.
00:16:59.341 --> 00:17:00.091
A hundred percent.
00:17:00.091 --> 00:17:00.152
Yeah.
00:17:00.152 --> 00:17:01.101
And we talked about.
00:17:01.532 --> 00:17:05.582
This when you were on my podcast and oh my gosh, that was such an incredible conversation.
00:17:05.582 --> 00:17:15.182
But even I'll, this was probably like at this point like a month or two ago, but I was at the gym and it was just like one of those days I had a crazy morning.
00:17:15.182 --> 00:17:16.142
I didn't get to eat.
00:17:16.392 --> 00:17:18.142
I was doing back squats and I was like.
00:17:18.656 --> 00:17:23.436
My head was foggy, I was exhausted, my numbers were like really low.
00:17:23.826 --> 00:17:26.977
And then a week later I had breakfast.
00:17:26.977 --> 00:17:29.287
I went to the gym to do the same back squats.
00:17:29.646 --> 00:17:32.646
I was able to add 25 more pounds.
00:17:32.707 --> 00:17:32.767
Yeah.
00:17:32.767 --> 00:17:34.176
Do multiple more reps.
00:17:34.176 --> 00:17:37.866
And I just felt so much more fueled and energized.
00:17:37.916 --> 00:17:38.961
And just so much better.
00:17:38.961 --> 00:17:40.096
And it's oh, what's the difference?
00:17:40.621 --> 00:17:45.691
very, like I, I ate, I had carbs, I had fat, I had protein before.
00:17:45.871 --> 00:17:47.881
I did that strenuous exercise.
00:17:47.881 --> 00:17:50.221
And I'm sure it's very similar with running.
00:17:50.280 --> 00:17:51.030
Absolutely.
00:17:51.240 --> 00:18:00.480
And I think that when we under fuel, when we don't give our body what we need because we're restricting it, whether or not you're restricting, because I think that some people do it unconsciously.
00:18:00.480 --> 00:18:03.691
some people restrict on purpose because they want to lose weight.
00:18:03.691 --> 00:18:04.230
They wanna lose fat.
00:18:05.060 --> 00:18:21.530
And then I think that there's other people that just don't realize how much extra they need to eat, especially if they're training for a longer race, like a half or a full, there's a, it's a significant amount, like you have to eat a lot more food to keep your body fueled, especially like you were saying before and after.
00:18:21.530 --> 00:18:23.931
Like your body needs that fuel right away.
00:18:24.090 --> 00:18:28.320
it needs the fuel to go out to run and then also needs to refuel right afterwards.
00:18:28.530 --> 00:18:32.790
And when we're restricting or we're not refueling that tank, it's going to just.
00:18:33.655 --> 00:18:36.415
It messes with our hormones, basically like the science behind it, right?
00:18:36.415 --> 00:18:41.155
Is that it messes with our hormones and your body's going to be hungrier throughout the day.
00:18:41.605 --> 00:18:42.685
Yeah, absolutely.
00:18:42.986 --> 00:18:43.256
Yeah.
00:18:43.256 --> 00:18:45.895
You're literally like trying to get gas from an empty tank.
00:18:45.895 --> 00:18:46.391
100%.
00:18:47.381 --> 00:18:49.240
so that's like the restriction side of it.
00:18:49.240 --> 00:18:49.300
Yeah.
00:18:49.300 --> 00:18:55.070
And then the two other umbrellas that we really dive into is, it's emotionally driven.
00:18:55.121 --> 00:19:02.471
It is, you are, whether it's, you are trying to like cope, get comfort, you're trying to numb, avoid.
00:19:02.471 --> 00:19:03.851
not look at something.
00:19:04.060 --> 00:19:10.810
Because what happens is when we have really uncomfortable feelings, thoughts, or emotions, they almost like bubble up in our body, right?
00:19:10.810 --> 00:19:12.336
And so many of us were taught.
00:19:12.986 --> 00:19:15.086
Walk it off, don't talk about it.
00:19:15.086 --> 00:19:16.195
Shut up and smile.
00:19:16.195 --> 00:19:24.476
and a lot of us don't know how to name process, but most importantly deal with our emotions without letting them like completely take over, right?
00:19:24.526 --> 00:19:28.756
So what happens is we don't want to feel these feelings.
00:19:28.756 --> 00:19:29.566
So what do we do?
00:19:29.566 --> 00:19:31.695
We shovel it down with food.
00:19:32.056 --> 00:19:35.685
It is easier for our brain to notice something tangible.
00:19:35.685 --> 00:19:39.486
So what I mean by that is like rather than, okay, why?
00:19:39.576 --> 00:19:40.865
What were you feeling?
00:19:40.865 --> 00:19:42.695
What's going on in your body?
00:19:42.695 --> 00:19:43.806
what's the emotion?
00:19:43.885 --> 00:19:45.326
Rather than dealing with that.
00:19:45.355 --> 00:19:48.685
'cause nobody wants to talk about that stuff, wants to look at that.
00:19:49.105 --> 00:19:51.415
Your brain would much rather say, wow.
00:19:52.010 --> 00:19:53.840
you know you're a failure yet again.
00:19:53.840 --> 00:20:05.361
You just ate 14 cookies when you weren't supposed to because that is something you can actually see, feel, and like derive guilt from, rather than looking at what's going on underneath.
00:20:05.361 --> 00:20:15.320
So if you are someone who struggles with emotionally eating, or you notice you eat when you're lonely or sad or anxious, or you like eat at night when the house is asleep or whatever it is.
00:20:15.371 --> 00:20:16.586
The one thing I'm gonna say is.
00:20:17.395 --> 00:20:26.516
A great starting point is to just take a step back and if you aren't hungry, ask yourself, okay, what is it that I want food to give me right now?
00:20:27.026 --> 00:20:32.665
Because usually it's comfort, happiness, joy, peace.
00:20:32.665 --> 00:20:35.336
Getting rid of feelings of loneliness, like I said before.
00:20:35.336 --> 00:20:38.934
But we have to realize that food is not going to give us any of that.
00:20:38.934 --> 00:20:44.634
Yes, it will as we're eating, like for those first couple minutes, but then as soon as we're done.
00:20:45.029 --> 00:20:48.539
We still have the same stress on top of the guilt of everything that just happened.
00:20:48.690 --> 00:20:58.529
So it's more coming at yourself with curiosity rather than anger, shame, and judgment, because those are the biggest emotions that drive binging.
00:20:58.579 --> 00:21:02.450
So you eat, you hate yourself, you're pissed at yourself, you're ashamed.
00:21:02.500 --> 00:21:02.509
Guess.
00:21:02.714 --> 00:21:06.755
You're just going to keep eating because the next question is why am I even bothering?
00:21:06.755 --> 00:21:08.555
Screw it, I'll just start over tomorrow.
00:21:08.634 --> 00:21:09.714
I already screwed up.
00:21:09.765 --> 00:21:16.365
Because so many of us who struggle with a not great relationship with food, we live in that all or nothing mentality.
00:21:16.424 --> 00:21:19.154
If I'm gonna be bad, then I'm gonna be really bad.
00:21:20.775 --> 00:21:21.105
Yeah.
00:21:21.595 --> 00:21:21.910
and it's also.
00:21:22.500 --> 00:21:22.559
Yeah.
00:21:22.710 --> 00:21:27.779
I think it's also like your brain wanting to find evidence for why you feel this way too.
00:21:27.829 --> 00:21:41.480
Like what, going back to what you were saying about you have some sort of like guilt or anger or shame or something, and instead of digging in and trying to actually find the root cause of that, you're like, let me just eat and now I can be upset at myself for eating.
00:21:41.609 --> 00:21:45.819
it's like this feedback loop that you're giving your brain evidence for why this.
00:21:46.365 --> 00:21:53.654
Why you deserve to feel this way or why you feel this way, so you don't have to dig into some of the more uncomfortable stuff correct and the uncomfortable stuff.
00:21:53.654 --> 00:21:53.984
Guess what?
00:21:53.984 --> 00:21:54.674
It stays there.
00:21:54.674 --> 00:21:56.025
So nothing ever.
00:21:56.865 --> 00:21:57.734
gets changed.
00:21:57.734 --> 00:21:57.795
Yeah.
00:21:57.825 --> 00:22:02.904
And yes, we've tried, as I mentioned, the diets, the keto, the noom, the Weight Watchers, whatever it is.
00:22:02.904 --> 00:22:02.964
Yeah.
00:22:03.174 --> 00:22:05.095
But again, that's nothing more than a bandaid.
00:22:05.154 --> 00:22:05.275
Yep.
00:22:05.275 --> 00:22:11.815
Because yes, we may start off losing weight, but then especially if you are an athlete and you're a runner, you are.
00:22:12.140 --> 00:22:15.799
Getting injured, you're burning out, you're not fueling yourself, you're bing.
00:22:15.960 --> 00:22:20.549
So it's extremely, it's in this like cycle that we just go round and around in.
00:22:20.670 --> 00:22:21.059
Yeah.
00:22:21.299 --> 00:22:31.009
And the other thing I want to point out too is yes there are these uncomfortable emotions like guilt and shame and all these other things, but a lot of people that I've talked to also just eat out of boredom.
00:22:31.059 --> 00:22:35.470
Because they don't, nothing else to do and like they don't realize that is emotional eating.
00:22:35.779 --> 00:22:41.119
Bored, like boredom is a feeling that you're trying to just fill, and so you fill that with food.
00:22:41.509 --> 00:22:41.930
Yes.
00:22:41.930 --> 00:22:42.345
And I
00:22:42.345 --> 00:22:46.615
love that you said that because a lot of people say I eat when I'm bored because I am.
00:22:46.664 --> 00:22:47.805
I'm on the east coast.
00:22:47.805 --> 00:22:49.154
I am near New York.
00:22:49.154 --> 00:22:49.545
go.
00:22:49.545 --> 00:22:50.565
Hustle, hustle.
00:22:50.615 --> 00:22:54.815
People struggle to be bored, people struggle to rest.
00:22:54.904 --> 00:22:55.204
Yes.
00:22:55.474 --> 00:22:57.335
We always think that we have to go.
00:22:57.515 --> 00:22:58.535
Must be productive.
00:22:58.535 --> 00:23:04.265
And even if we're deciding to rest, The only thing that's going on our mind is just like the scroll of the to-do list.
00:23:04.265 --> 00:23:05.464
I shouldn't be doing this.
00:23:05.464 --> 00:23:07.055
I have to do X, y, z, blah, blah, blah.
00:23:07.055 --> 00:23:07.325
And
00:23:07.384 --> 00:23:07.535
Yep.
00:23:08.045 --> 00:23:12.154
Again, we get those feelings of being bored and not being comfortable.
00:23:12.154 --> 00:23:13.805
It is Okay.
00:23:14.009 --> 00:23:18.690
To be bored, to have nothing to do to rest and be okay with it.
00:23:18.690 --> 00:23:22.140
And the more you fight it, then we look for food.
00:23:22.890 --> 00:23:23.099
Yep.
00:23:23.130 --> 00:23:23.369
Yeah.
00:23:23.430 --> 00:23:25.079
Bored is such a big one.
00:23:25.140 --> 00:23:25.410
Yeah.
00:23:25.410 --> 00:23:26.369
And it's so hard.
00:23:26.369 --> 00:23:32.190
And I think that's what's leading to more I'm even noticing it in myself, like with the phones, like with the scrolling and things like that.
00:23:32.190 --> 00:23:34.275
'cause like I'm not binging on food, but I'm my.
00:23:34.589 --> 00:23:38.609
Thumb is binging with these damn little TikTok, not tiktoks, but the reels.
00:23:38.609 --> 00:23:43.795
I don't really go on TikTok as much'cause I'm old, but you save yourself.
00:23:43.960 --> 00:23:45.009
It's totally, it's fine.
00:23:45.369 --> 00:23:53.589
But it's that, it's those like small hits of dopamine that are totally, keeping us in these habits that like, I'm literally sitting there I should not be doing this.
00:23:53.589 --> 00:23:55.329
Why am I doing this right now?
00:23:55.329 --> 00:23:58.509
And I feel like that's the same feedback loop that's happening when it comes to eating.
00:23:58.779 --> 00:23:59.380
Oh, a hundred percent.
00:23:59.380 --> 00:23:59.710
And Angela,
00:23:59.710 --> 00:23:59.920
I
00:23:59.920 --> 00:24:01.839
have I have an app actually that.
00:24:02.255 --> 00:24:06.335
It's like you figure out what times you don't wanna go on social.
00:24:06.335 --> 00:24:09.454
'cause like you use the screen time on Apple and it's dismiss for today.
00:24:09.454 --> 00:24:09.515
Yeah.
00:24:09.545 --> 00:24:12.785
I have never not pressed the dismiss button.
00:24:12.785 --> 00:24:12.845
Yeah.
00:24:12.875 --> 00:24:16.269
So this, I have on the highest level I can't even get in.
00:24:16.319 --> 00:24:17.160
there is no.
00:24:17.359 --> 00:24:22.190
Why So I actually like it'cause it forced me to not
00:24:22.190 --> 00:24:22.609
do that.
00:24:22.609 --> 00:24:22.849
So Yeah.
00:24:22.849 --> 00:24:22.910
It
00:24:22.910 --> 00:24:23.720
locks you out.
00:24:23.789 --> 00:24:24.480
very similar.
00:24:24.480 --> 00:24:24.990
Yeah.
00:24:24.990 --> 00:24:25.799
Yeah, exactly.
00:24:26.130 --> 00:24:26.400
All right.
00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:27.960
What's the third reason that we binge?
00:24:27.960 --> 00:24:28.500
Oh yeah,
00:24:28.654 --> 00:24:28.894
absolutely.
00:24:29.009 --> 00:24:33.480
So we talked about restriction driven, emotionally driven, and then the next one is habit driven.
00:24:33.599 --> 00:24:40.500
So I feel like looking back, once I started like picking it up, the, it did also become a habit.
00:24:40.555 --> 00:24:43.345
And if you are sitting there listening, you're like, okay, I do all three.
00:24:43.529 --> 00:24:46.470
Believe me, they are all intertwined with each other.
00:24:46.470 --> 00:24:49.109
Again, it's not black and white where it's I do it because restriction.
00:24:49.109 --> 00:24:50.309
I do it because it's a habit.
00:24:50.490 --> 00:24:51.420
But what happens?
00:24:51.420 --> 00:24:55.769
So for example, when I think of like a habit driven, I think like people who eat at night, right?
00:24:56.160 --> 00:25:03.549
person who has young kids or whatever, they clean the kitchen, they put the kids to bed, they sit on the couch and immediately it.
00:25:04.085 --> 00:25:10.384
Reality TV and ice cream or chips or whatever, and yes, that can start from restriction.
00:25:10.484 --> 00:25:14.535
Because if you're not eating enough, you are going to be hungry and hangry and all those wonderful things at night.
00:25:15.974 --> 00:25:21.065
That habit also comes from continuously having that cue of kids are asleep.
00:25:21.394 --> 00:25:24.964
I'm seeing this as like finally I can just sit down and relax.
00:25:24.964 --> 00:25:26.644
And as a mom, I know that feeling, right?
00:25:26.884 --> 00:25:27.454
Yeah, absolutely.
00:25:28.055 --> 00:25:28.744
As you do too.
00:25:29.075 --> 00:25:33.964
And then it's like the habit of couch relaxation tv, those are your cues.
00:25:33.964 --> 00:25:36.529
And immediately You want that reward of eating.
00:25:36.869 --> 00:25:37.089
Yep.
00:25:37.140 --> 00:25:40.470
If you're noticing, it has become a habit over time.
00:25:40.470 --> 00:25:49.619
I think one of the things, if you're, if you use food as a form of self-care, we have to recognize, we have to have different forms of self-care during the day.
00:25:49.910 --> 00:26:00.670
Because if you are not like feeling happy or enjoying what you're doing or having a little me time, of course when you start eating, if that's the only thing that's truly making you happy, you're not gonna be, wanna be able to stop.
00:26:00.769 --> 00:26:04.349
Who would, so really finding like little pockets of time.
00:26:04.349 --> 00:26:10.250
And it doesn't need to be this huge, spend a ton of money, go get like$150 massage, Go sit outside on your porch for 10 minutes.
00:26:10.299 --> 00:26:11.170
Call somebody you love.
00:26:11.170 --> 00:26:12.400
Just these little tiny things.
00:26:12.400 --> 00:26:19.779
for me, my, I love taking like hot showers to the point my skin borderline melts off.
00:26:23.029 --> 00:26:24.170
that's my thing at night.
00:26:24.170 --> 00:26:25.490
It calms me down.
00:26:25.490 --> 00:26:32.630
I get in my pajamas, but then like in the morning, I make sure that I have a really nice like iced coffee where I'm either.
00:26:32.740 --> 00:26:35.170
Sitting outside or catching up on sports radio.
00:26:35.170 --> 00:26:38.769
'cause I love sports and it's like the kids are in daycare, it's my time.
00:26:38.950 --> 00:26:43.119
But if I didn't have those two things, if the only thing that was making me happy was cookies, guess what?
00:26:43.150 --> 00:26:44.529
I would constantly be eating cookies.
00:26:44.579 --> 00:26:44.640
Yeah.
00:26:44.940 --> 00:26:46.259
So that's one.
00:26:46.259 --> 00:26:48.630
And then another thing is to change your cue.
00:26:48.630 --> 00:26:51.779
So if you're someone sitting on the couch, you immediately want to eat.
00:26:52.464 --> 00:26:55.644
Then maybe it can be as simple as one go to bed.
00:26:55.944 --> 00:27:03.025
Two watch TV in a just as simple as going into a different room, right?
00:27:03.055 --> 00:27:08.244
and while obviously it's a little bit more nuanced than that, those can be really good starting points.
00:27:08.575 --> 00:27:09.670
If we're noticing it's becoming a habit.
00:27:10.109 --> 00:27:12.240
Yeah, because we are creatures of habit.
00:27:12.240 --> 00:27:12.569
Absolutely.
00:27:12.569 --> 00:27:17.349
And the location alone is one of, that can be a trigger for people.
00:27:17.440 --> 00:27:18.220
100%.
00:27:18.220 --> 00:27:20.769
And our brain likes to be efficient, right?
00:27:20.769 --> 00:27:20.859
Yes.
00:27:20.914 --> 00:27:23.595
it wants to move as quickly as possible.
00:27:23.595 --> 00:27:24.765
It likes its routine.
00:27:24.765 --> 00:27:25.150
So guess what?
00:27:25.990 --> 00:27:26.859
Goodnight kids.
00:27:26.859 --> 00:27:28.930
Close the door, go downstairs.
00:27:28.930 --> 00:27:29.769
Routine.
00:27:29.799 --> 00:27:31.000
Bravo for me.
00:27:31.765 --> 00:27:33.940
Put bravo on the couch and then eating.
00:27:33.940 --> 00:27:37.619
So it's just immediately like switching things up a little bit.
00:27:38.339 --> 00:27:38.400
Yeah.
00:27:38.400 --> 00:27:43.200
To not have that cue go off and the alarm bells go off where it's oh, time to eat.
00:27:43.589 --> 00:27:44.759
Yeah, absolutely.
00:27:45.119 --> 00:27:51.180
So we can change some of those habitual things that might trigger that.
00:27:51.809 --> 00:27:53.930
The, the habit of binge eating essentially.
00:27:54.230 --> 00:28:02.599
What are some other simple things that we can do to start to rewire some of these thought patterns around food and body image and restriction?
00:28:02.720 --> 00:28:07.789
I know that's a huge topic and a huge question, but like, where do we start with all of this?
00:28:07.890 --> 00:28:14.000
if you know that you're suffering with binge eating, like where, like what would you tell me to do if I am coming to you with this problem?
00:28:14.539 --> 00:28:15.470
Yeah, absolutely.
00:28:15.470 --> 00:28:23.470
I think there's a ton of things, but I, the one thing I really People to start with is practice noticing when you fall into the all or nothing mentality.
00:28:23.470 --> 00:28:31.160
Because what happens really with a lot of people when it comes to eating is like you start to eat whether it's okay, and I always use cookies.
00:28:31.160 --> 00:28:33.500
I really need to have more variety in my food cookie.
00:28:33.829 --> 00:28:33.859
I
00:28:33.859 --> 00:28:35.089
mean, who wouldn't use cookies?
00:28:35.095 --> 00:28:35.839
I feel like I know right?
00:28:35.845 --> 00:28:37.279
Cookies is the right way to do this, right?
00:28:37.279 --> 00:28:37.430
You
00:28:37.430 --> 00:28:40.759
have one or two cookies you are like, oh, I shouldn't have done that.
00:28:40.759 --> 00:28:42.079
I'm being bad.
00:28:42.134 --> 00:28:44.654
And immediately you're like, okay, I'm gonna start over tomorrow.
00:28:44.934 --> 00:28:48.055
your brain says if I'm gonna start over tomorrow, yeah.
00:28:48.144 --> 00:28:51.355
You better guess I'm getting my freaking money's worth right now.
00:28:51.410 --> 00:28:58.670
And immediately you're going to eat all of them because you almost gave yourself like a time limit on when you can have these cookies.
00:28:59.000 --> 00:28:59.150
Yeah.
00:28:59.150 --> 00:28:59.420
Your
00:28:59.420 --> 00:29:03.700
brain doesn't know that You can actually drive to the store and go get more cookies tomorrow.
00:29:04.095 --> 00:29:07.785
Because you're telling yourself you can't, so your brain thinks, oh, all the cookies in the world are gone.
00:29:07.994 --> 00:29:19.964
So something so simple as changing your thoughts around food in the simple sense of, I can have this food any time I want, so let's change it up.
00:29:19.964 --> 00:29:21.134
Let's think of pizza, right?
00:29:21.134 --> 00:29:23.325
If I am, pizza was always like a big thing for me.
00:29:23.414 --> 00:29:24.464
Something I always struggled with.
00:29:24.464 --> 00:29:25.484
If I'm having pizza.
00:29:25.660 --> 00:29:27.700
With my family on a Saturday night, right?
00:29:27.700 --> 00:29:30.069
And immediately like I'm feeling full.
00:29:30.069 --> 00:29:31.329
I don't know if I should keep going.
00:29:31.329 --> 00:29:32.950
The guilt starts creep creeping in.
00:29:32.950 --> 00:29:38.440
I can feel my all or nothing mentality, just recognizing, oh wait, I can actually have pizza tomorrow.
00:29:38.440 --> 00:29:43.180
I can also, if I really wanted to wake up Monday, drive first thing when I get up and go get some.
00:29:43.214 --> 00:29:43.375
And.
00:29:43.934 --> 00:29:52.515
When you recognize the abundance of food around you, it loses that, oh my gosh, I must eat everything now mentality.
00:29:52.724 --> 00:29:54.555
So that's one of the things I would start with.
00:29:54.555 --> 00:30:00.944
I think the second one is just really become aware of the way you're speaking.
00:30:00.944 --> 00:30:04.605
And I'm obviously, we put ourselves like we are our own worst critics.
00:30:04.605 --> 00:30:06.555
It's, it is terrible how we speak to each other.
00:30:06.704 --> 00:30:08.684
So recognizing that.
00:30:08.775 --> 00:30:12.255
And coming at it with more of a neutral stance, right?
00:30:12.765 --> 00:30:13.214
I what?
00:30:13.214 --> 00:30:18.944
Nothing drives me more crazy when people say oh, you just love your body and body positivity.
00:30:18.944 --> 00:30:22.515
I think 24 7 body positivity is honestly like complete garbage.
00:30:22.875 --> 00:30:24.255
I'm with you on that for sure.
00:30:24.384 --> 00:30:24.894
come on.
00:30:24.894 --> 00:30:25.394
And for the
00:30:25.394 --> 00:30:29.369
roots of it are good, but the way that it's implemented is not the idea's.
00:30:29.369 --> 00:30:29.549
Good.
00:30:29.549 --> 00:30:29.609
Yeah.
00:30:29.609 --> 00:30:29.670
Is
00:30:29.910 --> 00:30:32.279
anyone walking around loving themselves 24 7?
00:30:32.339 --> 00:30:32.730
No.
00:30:33.299 --> 00:30:37.279
Something so simple as I may not love how I look today.
00:30:37.329 --> 00:30:39.880
But I deserve self-respect.
00:30:39.930 --> 00:30:45.359
I deserve to treat myself with kindness and how I just start like looking around.
00:30:45.359 --> 00:30:48.200
And how many times do you say I'm being so bad today.
00:30:48.230 --> 00:30:49.849
Oh, I have to be good today.
00:30:49.910 --> 00:30:51.390
Oh, I messed up.
00:30:51.730 --> 00:30:55.390
I want you to recognize the pressure language that you're putting on yourself.
00:30:55.390 --> 00:30:57.579
So what I mean by that is like.
00:30:57.954 --> 00:31:00.085
The pressure if oh, I'm being good today.
00:31:00.184 --> 00:31:10.424
You are putting pressure on yourself to continue being good, and you're gonna get to a point where it's either restriction or somebody pisses you off or someone cuts you off in traffic and you can't take it anymore.
00:31:10.575 --> 00:31:10.755
Yeah.
00:31:10.855 --> 00:31:11.839
So you fall off the deep end.
00:31:12.519 --> 00:31:14.920
Or we say oh, I'm being bad today.
00:31:14.920 --> 00:31:15.460
Let's eat.
00:31:15.490 --> 00:31:16.450
Let's get margaritas.
00:31:16.450 --> 00:31:16.509
Yeah.
00:31:16.569 --> 00:31:17.410
I'm being bad.
00:31:17.410 --> 00:31:17.529
Yeah.
00:31:17.559 --> 00:31:18.640
Or the cheat meal.
00:31:18.789 --> 00:31:18.940
Yeah.
00:31:18.940 --> 00:31:18.950
yeah.
00:31:19.140 --> 00:31:20.519
If I'm gonna be bad, guess what?
00:31:20.640 --> 00:31:23.190
If I have to be good tomorrow, I'm gonna be really bad today.
00:31:23.339 --> 00:31:29.400
Just noticing when we're talking in very extremes and practice neutrality.
00:31:29.400 --> 00:31:36.720
again, we could go, there's so much more, but the mo, like in the beginning you have to start being aware Yeah.
00:31:36.720 --> 00:31:39.059
Of the way you're thinking and the way you're acting.
00:31:39.059 --> 00:31:43.980
And we don't realize how much we waffle between both end of the extremes.
00:31:44.015 --> 00:31:46.470
And the way we think and the way we speak.
00:31:46.859 --> 00:31:48.990
It's not about the food that, that is driving us.
00:31:50.505 --> 00:31:52.634
To have these eating patterns that we do.
00:31:52.815 --> 00:31:53.204
Yeah.
00:31:53.684 --> 00:31:56.894
You mentioned the all or nothing mentality in there quite a few times.
00:31:56.894 --> 00:31:56.984
Oh yeah.
00:31:57.029 --> 00:32:00.704
Do you think that is really like one of the biggest core drivers of all of this?
00:32:01.769 --> 00:32:09.269
I think a lot of people who struggle with binging and emotional eating, they are overachievers, right?
00:32:09.319 --> 00:32:19.970
Type a hardworking, and that is if you look at your life Usually you'll see the all or nothing mentality In, in, in different facets of your life.
00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:20.269
Yeah.
00:32:20.519 --> 00:32:21.059
I bet that makes
00:32:21.059 --> 00:32:22.380
it so much harder too, right?
00:32:22.380 --> 00:32:28.109
Because you've been so successful in other areas and you're like, why can't I figure this area out?
00:32:29.099 --> 00:32:29.759
Hundred percent.
00:32:29.759 --> 00:32:29.819
Yeah.
00:32:29.819 --> 00:32:32.944
Like it's the career, it's the family.
00:32:32.974 --> 00:32:34.579
It's the friend, it's the home.
00:32:34.579 --> 00:32:37.519
It's the beautiful like lawn in your front yard.
00:32:37.609 --> 00:32:40.190
It's like, why don't I know how to eat?
00:32:40.190 --> 00:32:44.990
And it's because you are overachieving, perfectionist.
00:32:44.990 --> 00:32:46.519
I have to do everything right.
00:32:46.519 --> 00:32:47.750
I have to be perfect.
00:32:47.750 --> 00:32:49.309
And the zero moderation.
00:32:49.579 --> 00:32:49.700
When
00:32:49.700 --> 00:32:51.740
you aren't capable of having moderation.
00:32:52.265 --> 00:33:05.605
You're gonna go off the deep end when it comes to having that one cookie or going to that barbecue or going to vacation, or with runners too, it's okay, I just had this, so I need to go run 5, 6, 7 miles, whatever it is.
00:33:05.605 --> 00:33:07.734
That is the all or nothing mentality and action.
00:33:07.734 --> 00:33:08.934
And we don't even realize it.
00:33:09.460 --> 00:33:10.180
Absolutely.
00:33:10.779 --> 00:33:14.259
A lot of people in our audience are in midlife, and I know you're not there yet.
00:33:14.309 --> 00:33:19.109
you're still in that wonderful young baby having life part of your life, which is great.
00:33:19.440 --> 00:33:31.109
But one of the big things that women start to see in perimenopause and menopause are these hormonal shifts and changes in their way, in the way that their body holds on to weight.
00:33:31.170 --> 00:33:32.670
And a lot of times.
00:33:33.089 --> 00:33:46.890
Women that maybe had an okay relationship with their body and exercise and food, now all of a sudden they're doing these things and that used to work, and all of a sudden their body's not responding the same and their body's holding onto weight.
00:33:46.890 --> 00:33:56.460
And so many women fall back into those old patterns of restriction and let me just do more, let me just push harder that we've been conditioned with.
00:33:56.700 --> 00:34:00.390
So what would you say to kind of those women that had.
00:34:00.835 --> 00:34:08.639
a healthier relationship with their body and with food, maybe this midlife period that we're going through, how can that.
00:34:09.639 --> 00:34:14.590
Maybe be an opportunity to create a healthier relationship with food moving forward.
00:34:14.920 --> 00:34:15.699
Yeah, I love that.
00:34:15.699 --> 00:34:21.719
And while I am not there yet, many, in my community, we have like thousands of members, right?
00:34:21.719 --> 00:34:24.510
I have people in their forties, fifties, sixties, seventies Yeah.
00:34:24.510 --> 00:34:26.280
Who no longer binge.
00:34:26.280 --> 00:34:27.175
And I think one of.
00:34:27.534 --> 00:34:31.824
Biggest things is that we focus on is our hunger and fullness, right?
00:34:31.824 --> 00:34:42.625
Sometimes it comes down to, so simply learning how your body feels when it's hungry, and learning how it feels when it's full, and practicing eating and not eating.
00:34:42.625 --> 00:34:45.324
Be like in between those two and obviously.
00:34:45.429 --> 00:34:49.900
If you've struggled for a while, you're like, I don't even know how to tell when we feel full.
00:34:49.949 --> 00:34:51.420
It does take time.
00:34:51.420 --> 00:34:52.590
It does take patience.
00:34:52.590 --> 00:34:56.820
But also too, making sure that your meals are balanced.
00:34:56.869 --> 00:34:59.179
Making sure we're having protein.
00:34:59.269 --> 00:34:59.449
Yeah.
00:34:59.449 --> 00:35:07.039
Realizing that carbs are not the enemy and so many people, like I, I'll never forget, we have one woman in our community.
00:35:07.039 --> 00:35:09.710
She's going through menopause and she ended up losing like.
00:35:09.969 --> 00:35:12.340
55 pounds and no longer binging.
00:35:12.340 --> 00:35:18.099
And she was like, it's because like I learned how to fuel my body without punishing it.
00:35:18.309 --> 00:35:18.699
Yes.
00:35:18.780 --> 00:35:23.650
And she would make sure that she had carbs with every meal, fat and protein.
00:35:23.699 --> 00:35:28.824
But when you're focusing on your hunger fullness, you can actually balance your blood sugar a lot easier rather than.
00:35:29.074 --> 00:35:35.965
Freezing and snacking and And the, not eating for six or seven hours, which puts your blood sugar completely out of whack.
00:35:35.965 --> 00:35:36.594
exactly.
00:35:36.864 --> 00:35:38.215
And it's so interesting though too.
00:35:38.215 --> 00:35:48.679
and this kind of goes back to our emotional relationship with food, because when people come into, my world, which I'm sure is like very similar to the ones people in yours, and you're actually talking to them about.
00:35:48.724 --> 00:35:53.195
Nourishing their body and fueling their body and giving their body what they need.
00:35:53.465 --> 00:35:58.324
A lot of women get scared, like there's genuine fear that comes up.
00:35:58.324 --> 00:36:00.875
Like I literally am telling you, eat more.
00:36:00.875 --> 00:36:02.914
And they're like, but what if I gain weight?
00:36:02.914 --> 00:36:05.434
Like they're afraid to eat more.
00:36:05.434 --> 00:36:06.844
And it is a real fear.
00:36:07.204 --> 00:36:08.885
It is such a real fear.
00:36:08.885 --> 00:36:08.945
Yeah.
00:36:08.945 --> 00:36:09.155
And
00:36:09.155 --> 00:36:09.755
sometimes
00:36:10.594 --> 00:36:13.005
the sounds, so sometimes I need to like just.
00:36:13.514 --> 00:36:17.894
Put up a mirror for them and I will ask them like Is what you've been doing?
00:36:17.954 --> 00:36:18.914
Has that worked?
00:36:18.914 --> 00:36:18.974
Yeah.
00:36:18.974 --> 00:36:23.855
A lot of people, it's like, if I give up tracking Calorie counting macros Yep.
00:36:23.855 --> 00:36:25.985
Then I will never stop eating.
00:36:26.045 --> 00:36:26.315
Yep.
00:36:26.585 --> 00:36:35.394
It's no, your, I don't wanna wait to say the word, like your psychotic and your obsession with those numbers Are the things that have led you to do that.
00:36:35.445 --> 00:36:42.525
and it's so funny you say that this fear and what we actually like to do is literally like habitation, like exposure therapy, right?
00:36:42.525 --> 00:36:42.585
Yeah.
00:36:43.005 --> 00:36:49.815
And letting people when they're hungry, actually allow themselves to eat what they want, right?
00:36:49.869 --> 00:36:50.934
Let's say you want.
00:36:51.264 --> 00:36:52.434
Pizza for lunch.
00:36:52.434 --> 00:36:54.175
And or chicken cutlet sandwich.
00:36:54.204 --> 00:36:56.125
But of course you're getting the grilled chicken salad.
00:36:56.244 --> 00:37:03.684
What if you know you're hungry, you sit down for lunch, you get the two slices of pizza, you allow yourself to have it without guilt.
00:37:03.954 --> 00:37:09.204
And you are able to have the process of learning to listen to your body when you're full.
00:37:09.474 --> 00:37:10.974
Incredible things are gonna happen.
00:37:10.974 --> 00:37:16.224
One, you are going to most likely eat less because you're able to recognize when you're full.
00:37:16.590 --> 00:37:22.230
You are not feeling guilty, so you're not eating more because you're fully allowing yourself to have it.
00:37:22.260 --> 00:37:34.849
And then between that meal and whenever your next one is, you are actually not thinking about food because you gave your brain the mental satisfaction rather than Forcing a grilled chicken salad and then looking around all day for more food.
00:37:34.849 --> 00:37:36.349
Because your brain's okay, that sucked.
00:37:36.349 --> 00:37:37.400
That's not what I want.
00:37:37.400 --> 00:37:38.269
I wanna keep eating.
00:37:38.690 --> 00:37:38.750
Yeah.
00:37:38.750 --> 00:37:48.920
So when you put yourself in those experiences, it's almost like you may have that fear until you actually see the process like unfolding right in front of you.
00:37:49.159 --> 00:37:49.610
Yeah.
00:37:49.949 --> 00:37:50.974
when women in my world.
00:37:52.030 --> 00:37:52.989
express that to me.
00:37:52.994 --> 00:37:54.454
I do something similar.
00:37:54.514 --> 00:37:58.454
I basically say, okay, exactly what you said, has it been working right?
00:37:58.664 --> 00:38:00.824
Like with what you've been doing, has it been working?
00:38:00.914 --> 00:38:03.315
And then I get them to commit to a time period.
00:38:03.315 --> 00:38:05.625
I say, okay, what if we just try this for two weeks?
00:38:05.775 --> 00:38:08.925
What if we just try this for a month and just see how you feel?
00:38:08.925 --> 00:38:12.255
You can always go back to the way that you were doing things if you want to.
00:38:12.284 --> 00:38:12.735
But let's just.
00:38:12.965 --> 00:38:21.795
Commit to a time period where you're going to try to, connect to your body, actually fuel yourself, allow yourself to have different things and see how you feel afterwards.
00:38:21.795 --> 00:38:28.065
Because once women start to allow themselves and give themselves that permission, they're never going back.
00:38:28.155 --> 00:38:28.635
Yeah.
00:38:28.684 --> 00:38:32.869
it's such, it's a, it's such a, like a completely different ballgame and you're like, yeah.
00:38:33.364 --> 00:38:34.505
I cannot believe.
00:38:34.505 --> 00:38:44.295
And now, like I'm sure you members YouTube, they love just like pointing out diet culture or like secretly laughing when their friends are just like commiserating how much they hate themselves.
00:38:44.295 --> 00:38:45.304
And it's everywhere.
00:38:45.304 --> 00:38:49.295
And you start to notice, you're like, wow, I've actually been brainwashed for a very long time.
00:38:49.534 --> 00:38:49.954
Yeah.
00:38:50.170 --> 00:38:50.460
Yeah.
00:38:50.675 --> 00:38:58.775
It's really wild when you look around and see how prevalent it is in so many aspects of our culture that we don't even realize.
00:38:59.190 --> 00:39:02.699
Yeah, and it's funny, like I am obviously, as I'm pregnant right now.
00:39:02.699 --> 00:39:05.190
I'm around like 19, 20 ish weeks.
00:39:05.190 --> 00:39:09.239
And I've gotten a lot of dms of okay, how are you gonna lose the baby weight?
00:39:09.239 --> 00:39:10.110
How are you eating?
00:39:10.110 --> 00:39:10.469
How are you?
00:39:10.800 --> 00:39:13.000
And I'm like, this is my third kid.
00:39:13.000 --> 00:39:21.159
I'm just going to continue to instill the tools that I teach every day and learn how to fuel my body and listen to my hunger fullness.
00:39:21.159 --> 00:39:21.250
And.
00:39:22.335 --> 00:39:29.744
I will go back to feeling my best because I'm not going to be killing myself in the gym, tracking every single macro or whatever it may be.
00:39:29.835 --> 00:39:31.514
And people are like, wait, what?
00:39:33.195 --> 00:39:34.244
Wait a second, huh?
00:39:34.250 --> 00:39:34.449
Yeah.
00:39:34.784 --> 00:39:35.114
Yeah.
00:39:35.114 --> 00:39:35.445
I know.
00:39:35.445 --> 00:39:38.025
Imagine you actually like your body and take care of it.
00:39:38.144 --> 00:39:38.864
I know, right?
00:39:38.954 --> 00:39:40.094
A totally different world.
00:39:40.434 --> 00:39:43.074
Kelly, this, conversation has been so enlightening.
00:39:43.164 --> 00:39:46.914
Before we wrap up, is there anything else that you would like to leave our listeners with?
00:39:47.755 --> 00:39:48.235
Yeah.
00:39:48.235 --> 00:40:02.105
I think no matter like what you are struggling with or how old you are or how long you've had skin in the game of like binging or a terrible relationship with food, you can 100% change.
00:40:02.405 --> 00:40:05.905
And a lot of people think you need, the.
00:40:06.429 --> 00:40:08.769
Therapists and the new meal plans and the whatever.
00:40:08.769 --> 00:40:15.880
And while those are all well and good, change starts from within and it is 100% possible to change.
00:40:15.880 --> 00:40:35.400
A lot of people feel like we've been doomed, or this is just how it is, or we're always gonna be like this, but There is a ripple effect to when you change and when you heal your relationship with food, when you heal, your relationship with exercise, the ripple effect of the other aspects of your life that improve as well as the people you love.
00:40:35.670 --> 00:40:35.820
Yeah.
00:40:35.820 --> 00:40:36.059
So
00:40:36.059 --> 00:40:40.500
I just want you to recognize that no matter where you are, you can change.
00:40:41.144 --> 00:40:44.235
Even if you feel like there is no way out right now.
00:40:44.335 --> 00:40:44.965
Absolutely.
00:40:44.965 --> 00:40:49.614
And I think that really all starts with trust by the sounds of it, right?
00:40:49.614 --> 00:40:51.594
learning how to trust your body.
00:40:51.594 --> 00:40:59.605
Again, learning how to trust yourself around food because I think that so many of us have been conditioned not to trust ourselves.
00:40:59.605 --> 00:41:01.375
We've been given these food rules.
00:41:01.755 --> 00:41:03.804
And you've been taught no.
00:41:03.835 --> 00:41:05.815
Even if you're hungry, don't eat.
00:41:05.844 --> 00:41:09.445
Because then you're gonna go over your set amount of calories for the day.
00:41:09.445 --> 00:41:11.965
And so we've been taught to not trust ourselves, do that.
00:41:12.144 --> 00:41:12.625
Oh my gosh.
00:41:12.625 --> 00:41:13.405
I love how you're like, what's
00:41:13.405 --> 00:41:13.974
the last thing?
00:41:13.974 --> 00:41:15.355
I'm like, okay, I know it's okay.
00:41:15.355 --> 00:41:15.715
It's okay.
00:41:15.715 --> 00:41:16.405
This is what happens.
00:41:16.405 --> 00:41:17.784
Sometimes we're all like, yes.
00:41:18.114 --> 00:41:19.824
And then I just opened up a huge topic.
00:41:20.635 --> 00:41:20.905
Yeah.
00:41:20.905 --> 00:41:22.525
So we're gonna talk for another hour and a half.
00:41:22.585 --> 00:41:22.704
Yeah.
00:41:22.755 --> 00:41:26.744
no, but I, when it comes to the trust, like I like to remind people like.
00:41:27.164 --> 00:41:34.545
Look around and whether you are a parent or a caregiver or children or you're a teacher, you like saw kids at the mall the other day.
00:41:34.664 --> 00:41:40.094
I like, have you ever seen kids have one bite of pizza and then put the pizza down?
00:41:40.364 --> 00:41:44.085
Or get ice cream and have the first scoop and be like, okay, mommy, I'm done.
00:41:44.085 --> 00:41:45.164
Or Yeah, no thanks.
00:41:45.164 --> 00:41:45.824
I'm not hungry.
00:41:46.360 --> 00:41:47.650
I'll never forget when I was binging.
00:41:47.650 --> 00:41:51.940
I was like, how is my 6-year-old niece just like stopping eating with this pizza?
00:41:52.039 --> 00:41:54.650
I want you to recognize that you had that as well.
00:41:54.860 --> 00:41:58.760
You had those cues and they have never gone away.
00:41:58.760 --> 00:41:59.764
They have not gone anywhere.
00:42:00.815 --> 00:42:14.414
What happens is that volume in your body of that self-trust, that discernment, that being able to listen to your cues, it got smaller and that volume got turned down due to diet culture.
00:42:14.565 --> 00:42:15.405
People commenting on.
00:42:15.989 --> 00:42:23.809
you getting seconds, your weight, aren't you supposed to run that off or, just any experience that you had growing up around food in your body.
00:42:23.809 --> 00:42:32.139
I want you to walk away with knowing that those cues and that discernment and that trust in yourself is still inside of you.
00:42:32.170 --> 00:42:32.349
yeah.
00:42:32.349 --> 00:42:34.510
I love what you said about trusting your body.
00:42:34.570 --> 00:42:35.050
Yeah.
00:42:35.824 --> 00:42:37.985
It's the only thing, like it drives me crazy.
00:42:37.985 --> 00:42:43.054
People are the first to shame their bodies, pinch their fat, put it down.
00:42:43.125 --> 00:42:43.875
And berate it.
00:42:43.875 --> 00:42:46.204
And it's this is the only thing keeping you here.
00:42:46.204 --> 00:42:46.264
Yeah.
00:42:46.324 --> 00:42:48.635
This is literally the only thing keeping you
00:42:49.534 --> 00:42:49.625
here.
00:42:49.630 --> 00:42:49.804
Yeah.
00:42:50.224 --> 00:42:54.389
But people do with running too, I think that's why these things are so intertwined because.
00:42:55.309 --> 00:42:59.239
You've been taught to ignore what your body's trying to tell you in running too.
00:42:59.239 --> 00:43:01.369
And this is the other thing where I try to tell help people.
00:43:01.369 --> 00:43:01.789
I'm like, no.
00:43:01.840 --> 00:43:03.550
that means you need to slow down.
00:43:03.550 --> 00:43:06.280
when you feel that way, you need to slow down.
00:43:06.280 --> 00:43:08.344
But they've been taught, no, I just have to keep pushing harder.
00:43:08.375 --> 00:43:09.485
That means I'm doing it right.
00:43:09.485 --> 00:43:12.335
because they have this, no pain, no gain mentality.
00:43:12.335 --> 00:43:17.315
there's all of these different, mentalities and things that we've been taught throughout the years that maybe apply.
00:43:17.619 --> 00:43:20.110
to one situation, but don't apply well to others.
00:43:20.110 --> 00:43:22.329
And then we take'em and we apply'em to everything.
00:43:22.519 --> 00:43:23.269
all or nothing.
00:43:23.269 --> 00:43:24.170
No pain, no gain.
00:43:24.349 --> 00:43:24.409
Yeah.
00:43:24.409 --> 00:43:26.420
Can be helpful sometimes, right?
00:43:26.420 --> 00:43:29.150
Like these, it's not like those things are always bad.
00:43:29.150 --> 00:43:31.355
They can be helpful at sometimes we just, yeah.
00:43:31.920 --> 00:43:33.929
Have to be careful how we apply them.
00:43:34.380 --> 00:43:34.710
A hundred
00:43:34.710 --> 00:43:35.099
percent.
00:43:35.369 --> 00:43:35.610
I love it.
00:43:36.210 --> 00:43:36.659
Awesome.
00:43:36.659 --> 00:43:38.369
Kelly, thank you so much for this.
00:43:38.369 --> 00:43:41.849
Let our listeners know where can they find you if they wanna learn more and connect with you.
00:43:42.119 --> 00:43:42.900
Yeah, of course.
00:43:42.900 --> 00:43:47.670
So you can find me on Instagram, Kelly l Wellness and my podcast, which.
00:43:48.164 --> 00:43:48.614
Dr.
00:43:48.614 --> 00:43:52.614
Angie was on as well, and it was a thing, the Food Freedom Society podcast.
00:43:52.614 --> 00:43:57.025
But yeah, send me a dm, let us know what you liked and what your takeaway was with this episode.
00:43:57.025 --> 00:43:58.735
And Angie, thank you so much for having me.
00:43:58.735 --> 00:44:00.385
It's always so much fun hanging with you.
00:44:00.445 --> 00:44:01.224
Absolutely.
00:44:01.255 --> 00:44:03.835
And of course, we'll put all of those links in the show notes.
00:44:03.835 --> 00:44:07.869
So if you guys wanna connect with Kelly, check out the show notes and send her a DM today.