00:00:00The Copycat Trap In Coaching
00:02:30The Anvil Of Chasing Revenue
00:05:30Vulnerability Starts With Yourself
00:08:30Borrowed Identity Ruins Sales
00:11:00The Grandfather Clock Metaphor
درباره این اپیزود
Tired of performing online while your business feels heavier by the month? We go straight at the quiet problem behind forced sales and content that rings hollow: borrowed identity. The coaching space rewards imitation in the short term, but the long-term cost is real—resentment, shaky revenue, and a life you’re not present for. Instead of louder tactics, we offer a path to congruence that your audience can actually feel.
We unpack why copied personas collapse under pressure and why “change the story” advice falls flat without facing the moment the story began. From the anvil on your chest at 10k, 20k, 50k months to the guilt that sneaks into family time, we trace the thread back to stored emotions and old meanings driving modern decisions. Then comes the pivot: becoming the most stable signal in your market. Using the grandfather clock metaphor, we show how brands naturally sync to the most grounded rhythm—and how you get there by peeling back layers, not stacking more hacks.
Expect practical guidance without fluff: how to notice the narratives that hijack sales calls, how to feel emotions fully so they stop running the show, and how clarity makes strategy simple again. When you stop borrowing your mentor’s vibe, you stop chasing validation and start defining success on your terms. Clients feel the shift and respond with trust, not hesitation. That’s natural, magnetic authenticity—the kind you can’t fake and don’t have to force.
If this resonates, share the episode with a coach who’s ready to drop the mask. Subscribe for more honest conversations, leave a review to help others find the show, and tell us the one story you’re ready to retire so your voice can finally be your own.
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WEBVTT
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Does anybody even know who they are in this industry anymore?
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Like every time, every time that I see somebody new come into the industry and start making waves, I see other people start fucking copying them.
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Right.
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And these people will do it, right?
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They'll have this certain vibe, this certain aesthetic, and then they see somebody come in, and usually this somebody takes some of their clients and they go, Oh, maybe not consciously, at least subconsciously.
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They go, oh, well, I had better start showing up that way, because obviously that way of marketing works better.
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Uh all of a sudden they think that because this person shows up this way, if they show up that way, it'll work too.
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Meanwhile, the same person that just copied someone's persona and style, copy and paste, is gonna go and tell their clients, you need to be your most magnetic, authentic self, parodying some line that they read in a self-development book without actually ever integrating anything.
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And the same person will actually sit in their comments and tell people, well, you can just change the story or tell yourself.
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You don't need to inspect it, just change the story.
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Yeah, no shit, you're copying and pasting somebody else's style, bro.
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You haven't even looked at yourself.
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And this is what keeps online coaches stuck is you think that being vulnerable means showing up on your content.
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You think being vulnerable means uh creating that piece of thing where you say the thing, but all the while you have this fucking anvil set on your chest.
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So you think, well, I still have that anvil on my chest at$10,000 a month.
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Maybe it'll go away at 20.
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I still have that anvil on my chest at 20, maybe it'll go away at 30.
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I still have that anvil on my chest at 30.
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Let's go to 50.
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And the the weight just gets heavier.
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And then some bro hard mentor who's on their phone from 4:30 a.m.
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to 11 p.m.
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will tell you, no, that's just the weight of responsibility.
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Is it is it Chad or like not that there was actually a guy named Chad.
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That's a that's just a pseudonym, okay?
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Um, is it?
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Or is it just that you're too fucking scared to look at yourself?
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So you can use your business to keep running from the things that you're running from.
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Like, let's be real.
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Like, yes, hey guys, build big, successful businesses.
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I am here for that, right?
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And at the same time, if you are only good when you're having big months, you're not fucking good.
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Like, hey, go make money.
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Life, life, food tastes better with some money in the bank.
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I'm here for that.
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But if you're only good when you're having big cash months, that's not good.
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That's broken.
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And it's the same paradigm that will keep you trying to borrow people's voices, borrow their vibes.
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All the while it's forced.
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Because you're like, well, I'm just gonna do it like this person talks because it works for them.
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And then these people that copy somebody else's persona, they wonder why their shit falls off even more.
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Well, I don't know.
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Maybe that person who is who is taken off like a rocket ship in the industry, maybe they're right where they're supposed to be, operating as their most authentic self.
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And whether it rubs other people right or wrong, it is them.
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They are being absolutely magnetic as themselves.
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And that'll piss some people off.
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Some people talk shit about them, some people will block them.
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That's fine.
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But you know what?
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They're being them.
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And that's it.
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And you can't copy that.
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You get to do it for yourself.
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Now, there's layers, there's levels to this game, y'all.
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You get to go out and show up as you are in this moment.
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I think that's what a lot of coaches try and do.
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But then they they still hide pieces of themselves.
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And if we're being more accurate about it, they're still hiding from pieces of themselves.
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So, like, why would they, who are they to show up uh authentically here?
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They haven't even shown up to themselves authentically, they haven't even opened up to themselves authentically.
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You can only be vulnerable with somebody else when you are truly vulnerable with yourself.
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Let's let's run that back real quick.
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You can only be vulnerable with somebody else in your client, in your content, wherever, if you're truly vulnerable with yourself first.
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If you truly look in the mirror and say, Oh, these are the stories running the show.
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This is the thing that happened that created that meaning in the back of my brain that stored the emotion in my body that anytime an emotion comes up, even slightly similar to that, my brain grabs that meaning and says, We're not safe.
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So I stop.
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I don't take action.
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I don't post a thing.
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I don't show up on sales calls the way I can.
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And I'm definitely not fucking listening.
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What do I mean by listening?
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Well, we go multiple different ways with Chase's brain on this one.
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Listening.
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This is why sales calls feel forced.
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This is why you feel like you have a pain in the ass clients.
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Because of borrowed identity.
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And meanwhile, your identity is trying to get out, and it's trying to get out by creating noise in your head, saying, please address these things, these layers of stories that we have picked up along the way so that we can put them down.
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We're fucking tired of carrying them.
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Will you please, please, please air this out so we can put them down?
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Most coaches will sit there and go, and every, every one of my clients sit there and go, but Chase, it's what made me successful.
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Hey, cool.
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Maybe it is the thing that got you started, right?
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But like that's not success.
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And every one of my clients on the other side go, Oh, this is what truly natural magnetic authenticity feels like.
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This is me actually vibing in my content and my clients going, This is the kicker, y'all.
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This is the one.
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When clients, this is when my clients know it's working.
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When their clients start saying on sales calls, yeah, like of course I want the thing you offer.
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And even more so, you seem like the type of person that I truly want to be.
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Because you can't fake that, you can't framework that.
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People see through it.
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It is a felt experience, y'all.
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It is a resonant experience that people have.
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Why do you think there's a grandfather clock on my wall behind me?
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Oh, a pendulum clock.
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I know grandfather clocks go on the floor.
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But it's it's symbolic.
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Because grandfather clocks, when you put them in a room with each other, all fall in sync.
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They communicate through tiny vibrations in their wooden housing across the room.
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And they all fall in sync with the biggest grandfather clock.
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What does that mean for you and your brand?
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The only way to become the biggest grandfather clock is to, well, you can do it one of two ways.
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You can force it, but you'll fall apart.
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Your brand will come off.
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Because, like, if you force this thing, if you force authenticity, if you force it, well, what get what happens here?
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Time and time again, I see this.
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You have a couple good months, but the business stress starts piling up, and you gotta, you have to stay after it.
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You gotta keep going.
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So then when your kids want attention, when your significant other wants attention, when you want to take downtime for yourself, you feel guilty taking that downtime.
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You're not fully present, you're reading a book to your kids, and you're just about somewhere else in your head, they're asking you to play, but you don't hear them because you're wondering if that lead is gonna close.
00:07:18.879 --> 00:07:21.680
And then you start feeling guilty about your business.
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And then you go in your business and you start to resent it.
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And you start to resent your business more, and that noise gets louder around your family.
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Here's the kicker it's not the business stress that's creating that, y'all.
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Stick with me on this.
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It's not the business stress that's creating that noise, it's what it's showing up as.
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But what happened years ago, decades ago, likely, is something got patterned into your reticular activating system.
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A search and edit filter for your reality.
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And your brain said, hmm, well, we have that meaning now and we have this emotion.
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You know what happened to that emotion too?
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It never got fully felt all the way through.
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It got stored because it wasn't safe to feel that all the way through in that season.
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You didn't deserve to feel that all the way through.
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So that sticks inside of you.
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And if you're being honest, you know, like a lot of good coaches know.
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Oh, yeah, it was my parents' divorce.
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It was my my dad's substance abuse, it was my mom being a workaholic.
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It was it was when it was when I got beat as a kid.
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Right?
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You you know, but you don't fucking look at it because that would be scary.
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That's uncomfortable.
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And every one of y'all, you sit there on the other side of the screen for me.
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You go, no, like I know about this.
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Then like clockwork, three to four sessions in.
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Oh, I get it now, Chase.
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Thank you.
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Because the real way to become the biggest grandfather clock, by the way, this is unscripted.
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You guys like how I kept that on thread?
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The real way to become the biggest grandfather clock is to peel those stories back one by one, the things that are gumming up the gears.
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And then what happens?
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Well, you become the most stable, grounded rhythm.
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And your audience, your clients can feel that.
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And then we start playing into three degrees of separation.
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Your habits, actions, behaviors, addictions, beliefs, etc.
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are contagious to your friends, friends, friends, or your clients' friends, friends, or your audience members' friends, friends.
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And when you start having those kind of ripples from that kind of strong, stable, grounded foundation, that's when shit starts feeling automatic.
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And that was that's when business starts feeling like it could have from the beginning.
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And that is also when you stop trying to borrow your mentor's persona or borrow that big creator's persona because you think that's what success looks like.
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No, because you know what success is, you've defined it for yourself, and no longer are you trying to find self-worth and self-validation in using other people's frameworks to show your mentor that you can follow, follow a play.
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No.
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Because you're here to run your own play, and you're here to build your own business in a way that builds the life that you actually want.
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That's it, y'all.
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Like that that's that's the rant for today.
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And I get fired up about this stuff because like I see a lot of business mentors and people that are good, right?
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Business mentors that are that are honestly good.
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They know ads, they know offers, they know content.
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There's something missing though.
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And this is why these people have me in their communities.
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There's numerous business mentors that have me go into their communities and do workshops to help you guys uncover this stuff.
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And the smart one, like the truly, the ones that feel called.
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I won't say smart.
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I want to insult the people that don't move forward.
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The ones that feel called, the ones that actually want business to feel the way that they think it could feel, they end up enrolling.
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They we end up working together for at least four months.
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And on the other side of that, things like, wow, I didn't know life could feel this synchronistic.
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Dude, these are basically the same ads and content that I used to run, but like these leads feel so much better, and everything feels like it's moving better.
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Yeah, I don't know.
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Weird.
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I guess that's what happens, and uh sometimes it doesn't even make sense to me, y'all, if I'm being honest.
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Like, I think like, well, you need the more of the tactical, practical business stuff.
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No, if you have enough of that, you have enough of that.
00:11:58.320 --> 00:12:04.799
And what you actually need is to peel back the layers of shit that you're carrying so you can see clearly.
00:12:05.039 --> 00:12:05.840
Because what does this do?
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It gives you clarity, it gives you space, it gives you an ability to critical think too.
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Besides this fully like natural magnetic authenticity, it gives you the ability to truly critically think because you don't have these emotions that are running your business.
00:12:19.440 --> 00:12:21.759
People talk about this is a whole nother episode.
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I'm gonna keep this short, but people talk about emotional mastery.
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You don't master your emotions, you feel them all the way through.
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Any feeling felt fully is bliss.
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And so when we take that concept, we go back and we feel the things we never felt, we reframe them, we apply a different meaning to them.
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And then when a little wiggle happens in our business, no longer is it pulling on this thing that has this 23, four-decade-old root in our subconscious, it's just a little wiggle and we can keep moving.
00:12:56.480 --> 00:13:13.600
And after 2,000 hours of working one-to-one with people working stories, I've found that if you have enough business acumen, enough know-how of how to package an offer, how to write content, how to how to make some basic ads, this is the thing.
00:13:14.399 --> 00:13:16.240
So that's that.
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I appreciate you guys being here.
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If you're still here, over 13 minutes in, you're either a client or it's time to hit the link and for us to have a chat.
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Truly.
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Let's see what's up.
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Appreciate y'all being here.
00:00:00.479 --> 00:00:03.600
Does anybody even know who they are in this industry anymore?
00:00:03.759 --> 00:00:11.359
Like every time, every time that I see somebody new come into the industry and start making waves, I see other people start fucking copying them.
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Right.
00:00:12.160 --> 00:00:14.000
And these people will do it, right?
00:00:14.160 --> 00:00:23.839
They'll have this certain vibe, this certain aesthetic, and then they see somebody come in, and usually this somebody takes some of their clients and they go, Oh, maybe not consciously, at least subconsciously.
00:00:23.920 --> 00:00:31.359
They go, oh, well, I had better start showing up that way, because obviously that way of marketing works better.
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Uh all of a sudden they think that because this person shows up this way, if they show up that way, it'll work too.
00:00:39.280 --> 00:00:55.439
Meanwhile, the same person that just copied someone's persona and style, copy and paste, is gonna go and tell their clients, you need to be your most magnetic, authentic self, parodying some line that they read in a self-development book without actually ever integrating anything.
00:00:55.600 --> 00:01:02.960
And the same person will actually sit in their comments and tell people, well, you can just change the story or tell yourself.
00:01:03.039 --> 00:01:05.519
You don't need to inspect it, just change the story.
00:01:05.760 --> 00:01:09.040
Yeah, no shit, you're copying and pasting somebody else's style, bro.
00:01:09.120 --> 00:01:10.239
You haven't even looked at yourself.
00:01:10.400 --> 00:01:16.560
And this is what keeps online coaches stuck is you think that being vulnerable means showing up on your content.
00:01:16.719 --> 00:01:24.079
You think being vulnerable means uh creating that piece of thing where you say the thing, but all the while you have this fucking anvil set on your chest.
00:01:24.239 --> 00:01:28.400
So you think, well, I still have that anvil on my chest at$10,000 a month.
00:01:28.480 --> 00:01:29.519
Maybe it'll go away at 20.
00:01:29.920 --> 00:01:33.120
I still have that anvil on my chest at 20, maybe it'll go away at 30.
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I still have that anvil on my chest at 30.
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Let's go to 50.
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And the the weight just gets heavier.
00:01:38.640 --> 00:01:42.000
And then some bro hard mentor who's on their phone from 4:30 a.m.
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to 11 p.m.
00:01:43.120 --> 00:01:46.079
will tell you, no, that's just the weight of responsibility.
00:01:46.319 --> 00:01:53.359
Is it is it Chad or like not that there was actually a guy named Chad.
00:01:53.439 --> 00:01:55.920
That's a that's just a pseudonym, okay?
00:01:56.159 --> 00:01:58.239
Um, is it?
00:01:58.719 --> 00:02:01.439
Or is it just that you're too fucking scared to look at yourself?
00:02:01.519 --> 00:02:04.640
So you can use your business to keep running from the things that you're running from.
00:02:04.879 --> 00:02:06.079
Like, let's be real.
00:02:06.239 --> 00:02:09.599
Like, yes, hey guys, build big, successful businesses.
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I am here for that, right?
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And at the same time, if you are only good when you're having big months, you're not fucking good.
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Like, hey, go make money.
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Life, life, food tastes better with some money in the bank.
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I'm here for that.
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But if you're only good when you're having big cash months, that's not good.
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That's broken.
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And it's the same paradigm that will keep you trying to borrow people's voices, borrow their vibes.
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All the while it's forced.
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Because you're like, well, I'm just gonna do it like this person talks because it works for them.
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And then these people that copy somebody else's persona, they wonder why their shit falls off even more.
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Well, I don't know.
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Maybe that person who is who is taken off like a rocket ship in the industry, maybe they're right where they're supposed to be, operating as their most authentic self.
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And whether it rubs other people right or wrong, it is them.
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They are being absolutely magnetic as themselves.
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And that'll piss some people off.
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Some people talk shit about them, some people will block them.
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That's fine.
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But you know what?
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They're being them.
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And that's it.
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And you can't copy that.
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You get to do it for yourself.
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Now, there's layers, there's levels to this game, y'all.
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You get to go out and show up as you are in this moment.
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I think that's what a lot of coaches try and do.
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But then they they still hide pieces of themselves.
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And if we're being more accurate about it, they're still hiding from pieces of themselves.
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So, like, why would they, who are they to show up uh authentically here?
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They haven't even shown up to themselves authentically, they haven't even opened up to themselves authentically.
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You can only be vulnerable with somebody else when you are truly vulnerable with yourself.
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Let's let's run that back real quick.
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You can only be vulnerable with somebody else in your client, in your content, wherever, if you're truly vulnerable with yourself first.
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If you truly look in the mirror and say, Oh, these are the stories running the show.
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This is the thing that happened that created that meaning in the back of my brain that stored the emotion in my body that anytime an emotion comes up, even slightly similar to that, my brain grabs that meaning and says, We're not safe.
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So I stop.
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I don't take action.
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I don't post a thing.
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I don't show up on sales calls the way I can.
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And I'm definitely not fucking listening.
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What do I mean by listening?
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Well, we go multiple different ways with Chase's brain on this one.
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Listening.
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This is why sales calls feel forced.
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This is why you feel like you have a pain in the ass clients.
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Because of borrowed identity.
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And meanwhile, your identity is trying to get out, and it's trying to get out by creating noise in your head, saying, please address these things, these layers of stories that we have picked up along the way so that we can put them down.
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We're fucking tired of carrying them.
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Will you please, please, please air this out so we can put them down?
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Most coaches will sit there and go, and every, every one of my clients sit there and go, but Chase, it's what made me successful.
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Hey, cool.
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Maybe it is the thing that got you started, right?
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But like that's not success.
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And every one of my clients on the other side go, Oh, this is what truly natural magnetic authenticity feels like.
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This is me actually vibing in my content and my clients going, This is the kicker, y'all.
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This is the one.
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When clients, this is when my clients know it's working.
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When their clients start saying on sales calls, yeah, like of course I want the thing you offer.
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And even more so, you seem like the type of person that I truly want to be.
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Because you can't fake that, you can't framework that.
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People see through it.
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It is a felt experience, y'all.
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It is a resonant experience that people have.
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Why do you think there's a grandfather clock on my wall behind me?
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Oh, a pendulum clock.
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I know grandfather clocks go on the floor.
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But it's it's symbolic.
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Because grandfather clocks, when you put them in a room with each other, all fall in sync.
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They communicate through tiny vibrations in their wooden housing across the room.
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And they all fall in sync with the biggest grandfather clock.
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What does that mean for you and your brand?
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The only way to become the biggest grandfather clock is to, well, you can do it one of two ways.
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You can force it, but you'll fall apart.
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Your brand will come off.
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Because, like, if you force this thing, if you force authenticity, if you force it, well, what get what happens here?
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Time and time again, I see this.
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You have a couple good months, but the business stress starts piling up, and you gotta, you have to stay after it.
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You gotta keep going.
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So then when your kids want attention, when your significant other wants attention, when you want to take downtime for yourself, you feel guilty taking that downtime.
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You're not fully present, you're reading a book to your kids, and you're just about somewhere else in your head, they're asking you to play, but you don't hear them because you're wondering if that lead is gonna close.
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And then you start feeling guilty about your business.
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And then you go in your business and you start to resent it.
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And you start to resent your business more, and that noise gets louder around your family.
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Here's the kicker it's not the business stress that's creating that, y'all.
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Stick with me on this.
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It's not the business stress that's creating that noise, it's what it's showing up as.
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But what happened years ago, decades ago, likely, is something got patterned into your reticular activating system.
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A search and edit filter for your reality.
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And your brain said, hmm, well, we have that meaning now and we have this emotion.
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You know what happened to that emotion too?
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It never got fully felt all the way through.
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It got stored because it wasn't safe to feel that all the way through in that season.
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You didn't deserve to feel that all the way through.
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So that sticks inside of you.
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And if you're being honest, you know, like a lot of good coaches know.
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Oh, yeah, it was my parents' divorce.
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It was my my dad's substance abuse, it was my mom being a workaholic.
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It was it was when it was when I got beat as a kid.
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Right?
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You you know, but you don't fucking look at it because that would be scary.
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That's uncomfortable.
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And every one of y'all, you sit there on the other side of the screen for me.
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You go, no, like I know about this.
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Then like clockwork, three to four sessions in.
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Oh, I get it now, Chase.
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Thank you.
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Because the real way to become the biggest grandfather clock, by the way, this is unscripted.
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You guys like how I kept that on thread?
00:09:04.240 --> 00:09:12.720
The real way to become the biggest grandfather clock is to peel those stories back one by one, the things that are gumming up the gears.
00:09:13.600 --> 00:09:14.960
And then what happens?
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Well, you become the most stable, grounded rhythm.
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And your audience, your clients can feel that.
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And then we start playing into three degrees of separation.
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Your habits, actions, behaviors, addictions, beliefs, etc.
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are contagious to your friends, friends, friends, or your clients' friends, friends, or your audience members' friends, friends.
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And when you start having those kind of ripples from that kind of strong, stable, grounded foundation, that's when shit starts feeling automatic.
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And that was that's when business starts feeling like it could have from the beginning.
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And that is also when you stop trying to borrow your mentor's persona or borrow that big creator's persona because you think that's what success looks like.
00:10:06.399 --> 00:10:20.960
No, because you know what success is, you've defined it for yourself, and no longer are you trying to find self-worth and self-validation in using other people's frameworks to show your mentor that you can follow, follow a play.
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No.
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Because you're here to run your own play, and you're here to build your own business in a way that builds the life that you actually want.
00:10:33.120 --> 00:10:34.159
That's it, y'all.
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Like that that's that's the rant for today.
00:10:40.240 --> 00:10:46.000
And I get fired up about this stuff because like I see a lot of business mentors and people that are good, right?
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Business mentors that are that are honestly good.
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They know ads, they know offers, they know content.
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There's something missing though.
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And this is why these people have me in their communities.
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There's numerous business mentors that have me go into their communities and do workshops to help you guys uncover this stuff.
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And the smart one, like the truly, the ones that feel called.
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I won't say smart.
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I want to insult the people that don't move forward.
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The ones that feel called, the ones that actually want business to feel the way that they think it could feel, they end up enrolling.
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They we end up working together for at least four months.
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And on the other side of that, things like, wow, I didn't know life could feel this synchronistic.
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Dude, these are basically the same ads and content that I used to run, but like these leads feel so much better, and everything feels like it's moving better.
00:11:43.600 --> 00:11:44.720
Yeah, I don't know.
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Weird.
00:11:46.080 --> 00:11:51.519
I guess that's what happens, and uh sometimes it doesn't even make sense to me, y'all, if I'm being honest.
00:11:51.600 --> 00:11:54.879
Like, I think like, well, you need the more of the tactical, practical business stuff.
00:11:54.960 --> 00:11:57.440
No, if you have enough of that, you have enough of that.
00:11:58.320 --> 00:12:04.799
And what you actually need is to peel back the layers of shit that you're carrying so you can see clearly.
00:12:05.039 --> 00:12:05.840
Because what does this do?
00:12:05.919 --> 00:12:09.360
It gives you clarity, it gives you space, it gives you an ability to critical think too.
00:12:09.519 --> 00:12:19.200
Besides this fully like natural magnetic authenticity, it gives you the ability to truly critically think because you don't have these emotions that are running your business.
00:12:19.440 --> 00:12:21.759
People talk about this is a whole nother episode.
00:12:21.840 --> 00:12:24.879
I'm gonna keep this short, but people talk about emotional mastery.
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You don't master your emotions, you feel them all the way through.
00:12:28.399 --> 00:12:30.480
Any feeling felt fully is bliss.
00:12:30.639 --> 00:12:39.440
And so when we take that concept, we go back and we feel the things we never felt, we reframe them, we apply a different meaning to them.
00:12:39.919 --> 00:12:54.080
And then when a little wiggle happens in our business, no longer is it pulling on this thing that has this 23, four-decade-old root in our subconscious, it's just a little wiggle and we can keep moving.
00:12:56.480 --> 00:13:13.600
And after 2,000 hours of working one-to-one with people working stories, I've found that if you have enough business acumen, enough know-how of how to package an offer, how to write content, how to how to make some basic ads, this is the thing.
00:13:14.399 --> 00:13:16.240
So that's that.
00:13:16.399 --> 00:13:17.759
I appreciate you guys being here.
00:13:17.840 --> 00:13:24.879
If you're still here, over 13 minutes in, you're either a client or it's time to hit the link and for us to have a chat.
00:13:25.279 --> 00:13:25.840
Truly.
00:13:26.000 --> 00:13:27.039
Let's see what's up.
00:13:27.360 --> 00:13:28.879
Appreciate y'all being here.
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