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Speaker 1: Coming up on Reliving Single.
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Speaker 2: Now, we've been friends now for 32 years.
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Speaker 1: 32 years, Erica. We made a pact to each other. No matter what, we're always going to come back to love.
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Speaker 2: We broke the pact a few times.
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Speaker 1: A couple of times.
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Speaker 2: Is the pact still?
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Speaker 1: No, the pact is still intact.
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Speaker 2: Okay.
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Speaker 1: Money, money, money. Money. The moocher has been mooched.
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Speaker 2: We're in Hollywood and you're working out next to Kunta Kinte.
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Speaker 1: Kunta Kinte.
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Speaker 2: We've had our moments. Listen, life with you... Ain't been no crystal stairs. What?
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Speaker 1: Never too much, never too much. You lying meek.
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Speaker 2: Welcome back to Re-Living Single, the official, unofficial living single rewatch podcast.
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Speaker 3: Yes.
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Speaker 2: Come on.
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Speaker 1: Money, money, money, money.
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Speaker 2: Money. All right.
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Speaker 1: Do you think that the love of money is the root of all evil? Ah, okay.
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Speaker 2: I don't know. But they say it's not money that's the root of all evil. It's the love of money that's the root of all evil. It's mostly certainly one of the things that can complicate a relationship. It's one of the reasons that A lot of relationships die to death. Have you ever fallen out with a friend over money?
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Speaker 1: Yes, I have. There was a friend that I had many years ago and she called me and asked me to loan her some money. And I did. And, you know, this is a time when things weren't, you know, I wasn't in the flow of a whole lot of money myself. So I gave her something. And when I... saw her next time she was wearing the latest fashions. I mean, like an outfit for the gods. I was like, how are you wearing the latest stuff? And I'm shopping the clearance rack, but I done sent you some money.
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Speaker 2: Oh, that's messed up.
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Speaker 1: She told me she needed it for rent. So we not friends no more.
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Speaker 2: Well, I mean, that's what I'm talking about. I mean, that's exactly it. Money already complicates everything in life. But, you know, I think life gets even messier when, you know, a friend doesn't show up or they're inconsistent.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's messed up because they're unreliable. It just makes everything weird and wears you down.
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Speaker 1: But we're talking about it now, and we're talking about it in this episode. That's what this show is about.
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Speaker 2: You ready to get into it?
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Speaker 1: Students! It's time for The Rewind, where we watch and relive living single with you. So today we are reliving, reliving single season one, episode 21, Friends Like These. And ooh, this is a really hot one.
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Speaker 2: Come on. Okay.
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Speaker 1: So Khadijah's shady friend is back. Here she come. Her name is Jackie. She's Khadijah's old college friend and she's shown up for a visit and right away, Max's guard goes up. Her spidey sense is like, uh, uh. You know it. So she's on high alert because she's trying to protect Khadijah because she knows that Jackie still owes Khadijah money. And deep down, Max is pretty sure that Jackie- Didn't come to say hi. She come to ask for some more money.
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Speaker 2: Uh-oh.
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Speaker 1: And there's a B story. There's a B story.
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Speaker 2: Kyle and Overton are feeling the urge to nurture. Yep, even the guys want to nurture. Overton gets a tank of fish, but Kyle's new fish, a bigger one, eats them. Damn. To make up for it, Kyle gives Overton a puppy.
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Speaker 1: It was written by Ellen Spocko and Colleen Tabor. Directed by our beloved Ellen Falcon, also known as Gittleson, and years later. And we guest stars. We have some guest stars. We have Sharnell Brown.
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Speaker 2: Come on, Sharnell Brown. From a different world. Wonderful. And Arsenio Hall.
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Speaker 1: Arsenio Hall himself. As himself, too. Hey, Max!
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Speaker 2: What's up, baby?
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Speaker 1: Max!
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Speaker 3: Oh!
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Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes. Big hug.
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Speaker 1: What you doing in New York?
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Speaker 2: I thought I'd take a crack at acting.
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Speaker 1: You know, the legitimate stage. And, Khadijah, I promise, as soon as things start working for me, I will pay back that money. You owe me money?
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Speaker 2: $ 226, borrowed in June of 1986. Give me a minute. I'll figure out the interest. Let's talk a second.
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Speaker 1: Let's have a moment.
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Speaker 2: About the great Sharnell Brown, A Different World.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: She played Kimberly Reese on A Different World.
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Speaker 1: She sure did.
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Speaker 2: Kimberly was going to be a doctor. For people who are paying attention, she is the third member, cast member of Different World. That has now come on the show.
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Speaker 1: And that probably speaks to the relationship that Yvette Lee Bowser, who had been a writer on A Different World, had with these actors. Like, come on and do my other show. And so that's wonderful that we have the greats and we get to play with all the greats.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: And she's a doll baby, too.
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Speaker 2: She is a doll baby, too. She really is. So what we're also finding out here is that Khadija has given her money because Max tells her right up front. She remembers it. But we also, I'm a little surprised because Khadija ain't as cheap as we thought she was. She gave her some money.
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Speaker 1: Maybe she's cheap now because she'd been lending money then, but she doesn't even remember that she loaned her money.
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Speaker 2: Isn't that interesting?
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: So to her, for some reason, she's got a little, you know, soft spot.
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Speaker 1: A little soft spot for her.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's kind of messed up.
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Speaker 1: You said something to me while we were watching the clip about Chanel's walk. Yes. She does have an iconic walk.
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Speaker 3: She does.
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Speaker 2: Chanel Brown has a great walk.
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Speaker 1: She does.
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Speaker 2: It's powerful. You know, it's mogulesque.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: For her size. She sort of comes in and, you know, the waist that she holds herself. And she's like small but mighty. Yeah.
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Speaker 1: She takes up space in a way that's not stealing the space, but she takes it up and owns it always. And plus that coat helped her out too. Like it flowed with her. It was great. It's great to see her in that space.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: We all know big trouble comes in small packages. So this ain't going to be good. Let's see what's going on.
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Speaker 1: And that beautiful smile.
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Speaker 2: That's right. Hey, Max and Jackie. You're still here. In my chair. Yes. Where are the raisin bagels?
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Speaker 3: My mouth was all set for raisin bagels.
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Speaker 2: I need my raisin bagel.
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Speaker 1: Oops.
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Speaker 2: There's still some left.
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Speaker 3: How kind.
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Speaker 1: If you've got a problem with Jackie, take it up with Khadijah. I mean, she's her friend.
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Speaker 3: Now, do you think I would waste my time venting to you two if I could talk to Khadijah?
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Speaker 2: As far as she's concerned, Jackie can do no wrong.
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Speaker 1: Oh, I know what you're talking about.
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Speaker 2: I feel the same way about LeVar Burton.
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Speaker 1: So we see now that Jackie has taken up residence and Max is not having it, so it's the next morning. Now, is it about the fact that she's mooching off Khadijah or is it the fact that she's coming and taking up space, your space?
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Speaker 2: I'd say both.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: You know, you're going to be a moocher and you mooching in my mooch space.
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Speaker 1: That's right.
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Speaker 2: You know, Max is the moocher.
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Speaker 3: You.
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Speaker 2: So she coming in looking for what? Her coffee?
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Speaker 3: Right.
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Speaker 2: Gone. Ain't nothing in there.
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Speaker 1: When you go into the cup, you just feel nothing.
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Speaker 2: Nothing.
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Speaker 1: It's great.
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Speaker 2: By the way, she's in her seat.
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Speaker 1: Yes.
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Speaker 2: That's Max's seat at the table.
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Speaker 1: That's right.
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Speaker 2: And in the last straw, then you took my raisin bagel.
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Speaker 1: Come on. And then she gives you half of it and you take it and throw it away. You don't even take it and eat it.
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Speaker 2: Hell no.
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Speaker 1: Why would you eat after somebody else?
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Speaker 2: Exactly. I can't, you know, reward a moocher. No, no. So, I mean, I just love it because it flips the script on Max.
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Speaker 3: Right.
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Speaker 2: Now she knows what it's like.
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Speaker 1: The moocher has been mooched. The moocher has been moved out the way.
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Speaker 2: Max has been dethroned. Right. So, yeah. Yeah. I think that it's nice because we needed some, you know, energy. And it's nice that it's female energy and that it's a friend of Khadija and Max and they all went to college together. So we all know if you go to school together that there's a different dynamic. And it's cool sometime when you're with your friend you like, but when the other friend that they like and you didn't like comes in, it can mess up the whole.
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Speaker 1: It changes the whole dynamic. And let's just have a moment also for Sinclair loving on LeVar Burton. Which is wonderful.
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Speaker 2: Hey, that's what's up.
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Speaker 1: Why wouldn't you choose the best? By the way, a little fun fact. LeVar Burton's wife did the makeup for our pilot, the great Stephanie Cozart Burton, who's still an amazing makeup artist. And I worked with her on In Living Color. And when I worked with her then, she was engaged to LeVar and now married for a thousand years. And so I just want to do a shout out.
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Speaker 2: He helped me with my living single contract negotiations. So I was working... at Gold's Gym, working out at Gold's Gym. And when I'd go there, there'd be Dr. Dre there. And there was also LeVar Burton would work out there. Now imagine, we're in Hollywood and you're working out next to Kunta Kinte.
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Speaker 1: Kunta Kinte.
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Speaker 2: And the chronic. Right. You know what I'm saying? So I said, only in LA. Right. So I thought he just looked like somebody who had been around and an elder. And I said, Mr. Burton, he's like, LeVar, please. I said, I'm a fan. And I told them what was going on. They said, Erica, let me tell you something. Whatever they offer you, can you walk away? If you imagine what it is to walk away and you're okay with that, then you can do anything. But if you imagine that if you did lose a job, you wouldn't like what was on the other side, then you know you have to stay in negotiation. And you might have to maybe take something you didn't like. And I was like, thank you, because He gave me permission to say no, but he also said there's consequences. So, you know, I obviously stayed.
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Speaker 1: But he gave you that beautiful understanding of knowing how far to push it for yourself. So have you ever Got into that place in the negotiation and you were like, I will walk if they don't give me this. And you're fine with like, you know what? It's going to be great. I'll be all right on the other side. And then they met your demands. You're like, oh man, I kind of wish they hadn't given it to me because I kind of wanted to go meet her. Yep.
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Speaker 2: That's happened too, girl. More than I thought.
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Speaker 1: I was like, oh man.
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Speaker 2: Tell them the number is this. Right.
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Speaker 1: And they come back with this and you're like, oh.
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Speaker 3: Damn. Damn.
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Speaker 1: That's a good place to be.
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Speaker 3: It is.
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Speaker 1: That's a good problem to have. It is.
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Speaker 2: Because at least now you know that the amount, the remuneration is equal to the labor. That's right. Because you may not like the material, but maybe you say, you know what though?
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Speaker 1: At least I'm getting paid.
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Speaker 3: Right.
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Speaker 2: And you know, and as long as it doesn't demean or take away your integrity, it's all good.
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Speaker 3: Right.
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Speaker 1: All right, good problems to have.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, so thank you to the great LeVar Burton. LeVar Burton of Star Trek.
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Speaker 1: I'm looking like he's over there.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, he's not just Kunta Kinte. He's reading Rainbow and all that, but he's also an elder, and he's one of the smartest people, and we also campaign together, so I love LeVar.
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Speaker 3: I love it. Jackie is going to hook me up with Arsenio for the cup of flavor. Get out.
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Speaker 1: The Arsenio. The Arsenio. Well, I'm going to go tell Overton and the fish.
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Speaker 3: I find her consistently stupefying.
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Speaker 2: Well, I think she's the kind of person that makes things happen. She convinced me.
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Speaker 1: To start Flavor when everybody else said it couldn't be done, including you.
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Speaker 2: Hey, I never said you couldn't.
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Speaker 3: I just pointed out the odds on a young, single, black woman with no collateral getting loaned from the middle-aged, white male-dominated banking industry, okay?
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Speaker 2: Arsenio Paul.
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Speaker 1: Come on, that would be huge.
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Speaker 2: Are you kidding? And everyone's hyped except Max.
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Speaker 4: Right.
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Speaker 2: Of course. Who's not buying it? She's like, how is this still your friend? Then we get it. Jackie was the first one to believe in Khadijah's dream.
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Speaker 1: Do you really believe that Max didn't believe in Khadijah's dream? Or does Khadijah really believe it just because Jackie was like, I got you. This is going to be hot. This is going to be amazing. Because the advice that you give her is realistic. It makes sense. I don't think it doesn't sound to me at all that you didn't believe in her dream.
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Speaker 2: No.
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Speaker 1: You're just giving her other things to think about.
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Speaker 2: No, no, not at all. And so maybe it's how we're saying it here. But the truth is she was saying before anybody. There was Jackie. I mean, the thing to hear about Max's explanation is that she was like, I believed in it, but I also was telling you that you weren't going to get any capital. You weren't going to get anybody in this white, you know, sort of male-dominated, you know, I don't know, economic system to give you the money you needed because you were young and single and all that. Jackie was more supportive. Just do it. Just do it. And Max was like, yeah, but you're not going to get this. Right.
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Speaker 1: Just be aware of the pitfalls and be aware of what's out there to come. There is such a difference. And I think we do that. We have people in our lives that are super, super cheerleaders. Yeah, girl, you're going to do that.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: And then she's gone. She has no... means or other help other than like you gonna do this girl and you're like giving her real solid advice just so you know there's some things that you need to look out for and so I it's just and that's probably the.
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Speaker 2: Difference between them there's a Flava Flav hype man of Jackie and then there's Max who's gonna stay with you and figure out how to do it but that's the one who's gonna Look.
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Speaker 1: And stick with her.
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Speaker 2: Thank you.
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Speaker 1: As you did. And loan her money.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, loan her money. Come on. Where's Jackie been?
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Speaker 1: Where's Jackie been?
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Speaker 2: Coming to hype everybody up and then disappear.
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Speaker 1: I'm on Max's side.
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Speaker 2: Me too. Me too. Oh, my goodness. Meanwhile, Arsenio Hall.
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Speaker 1: Arsenio Hall. Let's just have a moment of silence or joy or something for Arsenio.
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Speaker 2: Arsenio Hall. This was the Arsenio Hall era. He debuted in 1989. And so he was already on when we came on.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, he was.
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Speaker 2: Right? Yeah.
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Speaker 1: And he was... At a time when black and brown acts couldn't get booked on other shows, so they came and Arsenio... laid out the red carpet for them to come and shine. It was a great experience. We did the show. We, as the cast of Living Single, went and we did. We had so much fun.
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Speaker 2: It was so sweet. We were so excited.
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Speaker 1: I mean, he's the best.
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Speaker 2: It was the best.
00:14:04
Speaker 1: I had done the first season of In Living Color, and then I went back on the road to open for Luther Vandross. And then I came off the road.
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Speaker 2: Did she just drop that?
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Speaker 1: Oh, then there's that.
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Speaker 2: I went back on the road to open for Luther.
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Speaker 1: Luther Vandross, one of the best times of my life.
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Speaker 2: Never too much, never too much.
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Speaker 1: Never too much to watch him.
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Speaker 2: You lying to me. Okay, we don't have to get to that.
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Speaker 3: Keep going.
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Speaker 1: We'll have a separate conversation.
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Speaker 2: My God.
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Speaker 1: So I went and did the Arsenio Hall show and he was so kind and so generous. And he did that thing that the best talk show hosts do, letting your guests have their moment. So your job is to shine, but mostly allow your guests to shine. And that makes you shine.
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Speaker 2: I remember how hard Arsenio Hall worked in those moments. He leaned forward.
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Speaker 3: Yes.
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Speaker 2: But I hear, I mean, he'd sit forward and he leaned like this.
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Speaker 1: And this is culture. This is our culture. That whole dog pound thing, that's him. That's him.
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Speaker 3: My God.
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Speaker 1: Deserved every accolade that he got and probably deserves way more flowers than he received.
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Speaker 2: He did. And he had us on two days before our pilot aired.
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Speaker 1: That's right.
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Speaker 2: So he was already giving us a space before anyone had seen us. Again, who fills that space anymore? No one.
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Speaker 3: No one.
00:15:17
Speaker 2: No, not anyone.
00:15:18
Speaker 1: A place where you feel welcomed and welcome to shine. What is the fascination with the fish? I mean, you can't teach them tricks. You can't pet them. And if you take them out for a walk, they die. But their world is so much like yours, Kyle. I mean, they're self-sufficient.
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Speaker 2: Only the strongest survive. And the pretty boys get all the female.
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Speaker 1: Is that so? Hey, check it out, Kyle. Little Coco's looking at you.
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Speaker 4: Right.
00:15:47
Speaker 1: Yeah, she is. She's saying, Kyle, don't hate me because I'm scaly. I love the way Sharnell's character, Jackie, charms him and explains to him why, oh, why wouldn't She loves you. Why aren't these fish just like you? And she charms him.
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Speaker 3: Yes.
00:16:04
Speaker 2: We see her gift of, and I want to call it the powers of her manipulation. She's a gifted person. She speaks straight to his ego. And then suddenly something that he was annoyed about, he's open to because he said, they're like you, Kyle. I mean, you know, the pretty boy gets all the girls. He's like, oh, is that so? So that's great.
00:16:23
Speaker 1: We're also getting a sense to see how Jackie is obviously manipulating all of us now. Right? Yeah, we see it. And Maxine knows it.
00:16:31
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
00:16:32
Speaker 1: What's about to happen now.
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Speaker 2: Come on.
00:16:34
Speaker 3: But we both know it's just a matter of time before she starts working her way back into your wallet.
00:16:37
Speaker 2: Max, give it a rest.
00:16:40
Speaker 1: Ooh, sorry I'm late, but I had an audition. Where's my desk, boss? Not a word.
00:16:49
Speaker 2: The job search seems to have gone well.
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Speaker 1: Jackie's our newest file clerk and assistant.
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Speaker 2: I'm taking her under my wing.
00:16:57
Speaker 1: Khadijah. It's your tax guy on line two, not a happy camper.
00:17:03
Speaker 2: What the hell?
00:17:04
Speaker 1: What the entire hell?
00:17:05
Speaker 2: Khadija has now hired her?
00:17:07
Speaker 1: I love this confrontation that you do with Jackie, and it's so physical. Does anyone think that... You're jealous of her. Are you jealous of her?
00:17:19
Speaker 2: Absolutely. I just thought about that looking at that clip that this is a lot to do with jealousy. I mean, not just space and possession, you know, and like you're taking up space, but also displacement.
00:17:30
Speaker 3: Yes.
00:17:31
Speaker 2: I was her best friend and now you are. And look at what she's doing to make sure that she accommodates you. What?
00:17:39
Speaker 1: Come on in. Eat my food. Stay with me. Here's a job.
00:17:42
Speaker 2: Here's a job. And you got my raisin bagel still.
00:17:47
Speaker 1: She's still smoking over that one.
00:17:48
Speaker 2: So that's a lot. You can't have, you know, Khadijah and my bagel. You know?
00:17:54
Speaker 1: Here's something that's interesting. Khadijah sees Max as powerful, smart, capable, doesn't need any help, independent. And maybe she sees Jackie as, Jackie needs a little help. She's here. She's still trying to figure herself out. Do you think that it's like sort of just, you know, alms for the poor.
00:18:15
Speaker 4: Oh, hell.
00:18:16
Speaker 2: You know, you think it's for sympathy or pity?
00:18:19
Speaker 1: Could it be sympathy? Or could it be like, oh, she ain't got herself together. Go ahead, girl. You can have this.
00:18:25
Speaker 2: I don't know. It doesn't seem like that. I think you just have different relationships with different friends and you operate differently. And maybe Max really never liked Jackie because again, she's unreliable. So I think somebody who could Ask from somebody for that much money. By the way, that's a lot of money when you're young. 200 and something dollars. In your college, yes. And then just disappear and then come back in your life and promise things and leave. She's obviously triggered probably from her own past. Who knows what made Max very independent and self-reliant. Often when you see those people, they're the people who have been disappointed the most.
00:19:00
Speaker 3: Of course. Of course.
00:19:01
Speaker 2: So this is obviously a space that.
00:19:03
Speaker 1: So this is triggering something for her.
00:19:05
Speaker 2: Exactly.
00:19:05
Speaker 1: Very likely.
00:19:06
Speaker 2: I think so.
00:19:07
Speaker 1: I want to know. I want to ask the friends watching the show, who's right here? Would you choose Max or would you choose Jackie in this case?
00:19:16
Speaker 2: Max.
00:19:17
Speaker 1: Or Jackie? Max or Jackie?
00:19:22
Speaker 3: Max.
00:19:23
Speaker 1: Enough said.
00:19:23
Speaker 3: Okay.
00:19:24
Speaker 2: Thank you. She isn't a stupid woman, just a pear-shaped one.
00:19:29
Speaker 1: So finally I had to sit her down one day and I said, April, April! You're a pear!
00:19:39
Speaker 2: Max, Jackie is like family to me. Now, I accept her for who she is.
00:19:44
Speaker 1: If you can't, that's your problem.
00:19:45
Speaker 2: Come on, Khadija, One of those alarms gonna go off. Come on. She's using you.
00:19:51
Speaker 1: See, that's just like you. You look for the negative. At least she can be supportive. Now that's what I did with April.
00:19:58
Speaker 2: Okay, that's epic. Epic scene.
00:20:00
Speaker 1: It's an epic scene.
00:20:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, between Khadija, Max, and Regine.
00:20:05
Speaker 1: Who inserts herself. Listen, the writing on that, the movement on that was just great.
00:20:10
Speaker 2: It was. It truly was. And Kim Fields played it pitch perfect.
00:20:14
Speaker 1: She did.
00:20:14
Speaker 2: She did. You know, and so did we. And Dana.
00:20:18
Speaker 1: Come on, Gord, and the alarm's going to go off. Come on, come on, come on.
00:20:21
Speaker 2: It's great. Dana is great because- Dana's in your face like this.
00:20:24
Speaker 1: It's great.
00:20:25
Speaker 2: But also, when Kim Field's character, Regine, interrupts, we wait respectfully. And then you move. We move right back into it because we're used to her.
00:20:36
Speaker 3: Right.
00:20:36
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying? What I like is that sort of comedic dance that they're doing. But what they're talking about is real because now Max is confronting Khadija saying, hey, look now. Don't you see? Wake up. She's playing you. And it ends, you know, not necessarily well because she doesn't convince Khadija that Jackie... Is a moocher.
00:20:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, no.
00:20:59
Speaker 2: Is a freeloader. Yeah.
00:20:59
Speaker 3: I'd like to introduce you to the newest member of our fish family.
00:21:04
Speaker 2: Yes, a fish so rare, so handsome, so manly that he can only be called by one name, Kyle Barker.
00:21:14
Speaker 1: Hey, Kyle, wake up, man.
00:21:17
Speaker 2: Wake up. What, what?
00:21:23
Speaker 1: They gone, Kyle. They gone.
00:21:27
Speaker 3: Overton, man.
00:21:28
Speaker 1: All right, look, Kyle Barker's still here, so there's got to be some explanation, right? Yeah, that's an explanation. He ate them all. Look at him, just licking his chop.
00:21:41
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, up in the guy's apartment, Kyle has now got the fish bug, and he's bought his own fish, Kyle Barker.
00:21:50
Speaker 1: Kyle Barker. Who names a fish their old name?
00:21:55
Speaker 2: That's nuts.
00:21:55
Speaker 1: He does.
00:21:56
Speaker 3: He does.
00:21:57
Speaker 1: And we then go and visit their apartment in the early morning where we get to see both of our beautiful, handsome men.
00:22:05
Speaker 3: Shirtless.
00:22:06
Speaker 2: Shirtless. Thank you.
00:22:07
Speaker 3: Come on.
00:22:07
Speaker 2: All greased up, looking good.
00:22:08
Speaker 1: Looking shiny and good.
00:22:10
Speaker 2: Oh, did they work out?
00:22:11
Speaker 1: I think, you know what I think? I don't know if they... They obviously did work out because there is some muscle definition. But I think they were both backstage doing some push-ups real quick just to give a nice pump. You do a push-up just before you do the scene, it pumps the blood right to the bicep.
00:22:24
Speaker 2: Oh, TC used to do at least 100 or 200. He be back there going at it.
00:22:29
Speaker 1: So we can maybe say they went to the gym or maybe they ate clean or maybe they did a little pump just before the show.
00:22:34
Speaker 2: Maybe we had better food and we didn't eat as many processed foods back in the day.
00:22:38
Speaker 1: Maybe we lotioned them up.
00:22:39
Speaker 2: But they were looking good.
00:22:40
Speaker 1: The makeup department.
00:22:41
Speaker 2: Looking good. So he's brought his fish, Kyle Barker, and has put it in the fish tank.
00:22:46
Speaker 1: The tank with all the other fish.
00:22:48
Speaker 3: All the fish.
00:22:49
Speaker 2: But then guess what? They wake up in the morning shirtless and Overton gets in there and sees that his fish are gone.
00:22:56
Speaker 1: They have been devoured by Kyle Barker. Excuse me, Khadijah, can I borrow $ 50?
00:23:01
Speaker 2: Are the words cash machine written across my forehead? What do you need $ 50 for?
00:23:08
Speaker 1: Well, I lent Jackie $ 200 yesterday, and according to my calculations, I only have $ 150 in my account. You borrow money from Sinclair?
00:23:17
Speaker 2: What, for needles and ink?
00:23:19
Speaker 1: I don't care what it was for.
00:23:23
Speaker 2: Look, I still have the money.
00:23:25
Speaker 1: I can give it back.
00:23:26
Speaker 2: Well, you will, but that's not even the point. How are you ever supposed to get where you're going if you change directions.
00:23:33
Speaker 1: Every two weeks?
00:23:34
Speaker 2: I know what you are saying, Khadijah. But when something feels right for me, I go for it.
00:23:40
Speaker 1: And I really believe that this is the thing. Jackie, I know you believe what you're saying. I'm just not so sure I do anymore.
00:23:52
Speaker 2: And I need to stop leaning on my friends.
00:23:54
Speaker 3: Yes.
00:23:56
Speaker 2: Besides... Tom, I paid a visit.
00:23:59
Speaker 1: To my parents. So now I think Jackie's a freeloader. Not only is she a freeloader, but she's aimless. She's confused. She's just flighty.
00:24:11
Speaker 2: She's flighty.
00:24:12
Speaker 1: And this is what Maxine knows about her all along.
00:24:15
Speaker 2: It's true. But Kim, you just coming to that conclusion?
00:24:17
Speaker 1: No, I thought it all along. I've been on your side. I've been on your side the whole time I've been. But now we see that she.
00:24:22
Speaker 2: Really is flighty.
00:24:23
Speaker 1: The truth. The truth comes out.
00:24:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, because guess what? Guess who she asked for that money from? So the money she asked for is $ 500 she didn't get, but she had already asked for money from Sinclair. And that brings out the protective nature of Khadija's character.
00:24:39
Speaker 1: That's the final straw.
00:24:40
Speaker 2: That's the final straw. She's like, nah. No. You're going to give her her money back.
00:24:43
Speaker 1: Because, you know, Khadija, Sinclair's vulnerable and gullible.
00:24:48
Speaker 2: For sure.
00:24:51
Speaker 1: And now I can't even cover my own bills, but I've bought into Jackie. Sinclair has bought into Jackie's dreams.
00:24:57
Speaker 2: That's hilarious. You gave her more than you had.
00:24:59
Speaker 1: I gave her more than I had.
00:25:00
Speaker 2: And that is also the beautiful thing about Sinclair. She said, okay, I'll get it from somewhere.
00:25:07
Speaker 1: And then realized like, oh, I don't have it and now I got to get it from Khadija. And there's a little uncomfortable moment when Jackie and Sinclair pass each other and I'm like, I don't even want to say to her, like, that really hurt me. That really messed me up. I gave you that money, and now that really hurt me. But Khadijah does the job. Like, what you're doing is really not right.
00:25:29
Speaker 2: Well, it's too little too late.
00:25:32
Speaker 3: Right.
00:25:32
Speaker 2: You know, that's tough love conversation. Do you think that Khadijah should have had it earlier?
00:25:36
Speaker 1: I think Khadijah didn't realize it. She was blinded by this friend who is, you know, charming and, you know, has believed in her dreams. And maybe we see that... having a friend believe in your dream from the beginning means so much to Khadijah that she's willing to be blinded to how many times she's been used by this friend.
00:25:57
Speaker 3: Right.
00:25:57
Speaker 1: And how she may be pushing Max off to favor this friend at this particular time. And so she finally sees the light.
00:26:07
Speaker 2: So was it done in a loving way? Did Khadijah have the conversation? And even though she was upset, Do you think she laid it on her nicely?
00:26:15
Speaker 1: I think she laid it on her. I think it was firm and true to people like this. They always find a way. So, yep, you're right.
00:26:24
Speaker 2: You're right.
00:26:25
Speaker 1: Time for me to... Go see my parents. And so we all know people like that who they will always find a way. They'll just go mooch someplace else. And this is probably how she's going to be the rest of her life. Oh, most definitely.
00:26:40
Speaker 2: I think that these uncomfortable friend conversations need a how-to guide. So what's the best approach?
00:26:48
Speaker 1: What would you suggest? Definitely face-to-face. Okay, definitely. Definitely without other people there, right? Alone, we got to be in a space that's one-to-one. Yeah. You know, we made a pact to each other when we started this process because we had like a little A little kerfluffle.
00:27:07
Speaker 2: For sure.
00:27:08
Speaker 1: And we decided no matter what, we're always going to come back to love. Right. Because the love is there and there's no reason for it to get like. So we made a pact.
00:27:16
Speaker 2: And we almost done it. We broke the pact a few times. A couple times. Is the pact still?
00:27:21
Speaker 1: No, the pact is still intact.
00:27:22
Speaker 2: Okay.
00:27:23
Speaker 1: The pact is still intact because we made a promise to each other.
00:27:26
Speaker 2: We did.
00:27:27
Speaker 1: And so I think to make a promise, you have to decide if the friendship really is worth it. So would it be worth it for her to keep this moocher on for forever and forever? I think it's worth it to keep the love with someone like you. I'm dedicated. No matter how much you drive me cuckoo or no matter how much I drive you cuckoo, I know that you're going to come back to love because hopefully I'm worth it. Because I'm worth it. Hopefully I'm worth it when someone is worth it.
00:27:51
Speaker 2: Hopefully you are worth it.
00:27:53
Speaker 1: I'm dying here.
00:27:54
Speaker 2: Yeah, dude.
00:28:01
Speaker 1: What about your allergies, though, man? Oh, it's cool, because you will be buying antihistamines.
00:28:05
Speaker 2: Okay.
00:28:18
Speaker 3: Once.
00:28:19
Speaker 1: Uh, I'm looking for a Khadijah James.
00:28:24
Speaker 2: I'm Khadijah James.
00:28:30
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no. I'm Khadijah James. Yeah, me too. Come on, have a seat.
00:28:35
Speaker 2: Have a seat.
00:28:36
Speaker 4: Come on.
00:28:49
Speaker 2: Okay. You know, fish, fish, fish. They make up. They get a puppy. Who cares? Arsenio Hall.
00:28:53
Speaker 1: Arsenio Hall. Arsenio Hall. Wait. We never see that puppy again.
00:28:57
Speaker 2: No, we never see that puppy again. It was a great Rottweiler or something.
00:29:00
Speaker 1: Right, right.
00:29:00
Speaker 2: Fabulous.
00:29:01
Speaker 1: And then there's Arsenio Hall.
00:29:02
Speaker 2: And then there's Arsenio Hall.
00:29:03
Speaker 1: Oh, and he was such a love to come on the show, and it was lovely to have him.
00:29:07
Speaker 2: That's what's up. And just looking just dapper and beautiful and amazing. He was a force of nature, and it was an Arsenio Hall era. There were a few eras. There were Spike Lee eras in Signing Hall. They bump up against each other. They do. The Wayans era, the Cosby era, the Will Smith era. There were all these. Again, amazing.
00:29:28
Speaker 1: Amazing.
00:29:29
Speaker 2: I mean, it's great to say we lived through it.
00:29:31
Speaker 1: We did. We were there. We watched it.
00:29:33
Speaker 2: Perhaps this is just my carcass talking, but I really am so happy that I got to see it up front and to say... that we saw these giants that really changed or tried to disrupt the industry.
00:29:47
Speaker 1: And did.
00:29:48
Speaker 2: And did. And they did.
00:29:49
Speaker 1: And did.
00:29:49
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:29:50
Speaker 1: So what happens in that scene, which is so sweet, and listen, you and I have had the benefit of being... I'm a person of note, and I'm sure you've been swept into a room that way with somebody changing their wig and primping. Somebody saying, take a picture. It's true. Someone just grabbing you in. Yeah, because Regine, when she saw- She's run upstairs and gets her good wig.
00:30:12
Speaker 2: She said, I'm DJ James. But then after that, her second thought is, let me go get a better wig on. Ran upstairs, comes down with a brand new wig and sit up there settling in.
00:30:21
Speaker 1: Right, and fluffing the wig the whole time for the photo.
00:30:24
Speaker 2: Kim Fields running upstairs like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Right. stomping up them damn stairs and then coming back down. The audience was cracking up.
00:30:32
Speaker 1: They loved it because there was so much eye candy to witness what was going on.
00:30:35
Speaker 3: Yes.
00:30:36
Speaker 2: I love those grace notes inside of things that are happening. Wonderful.
00:30:39
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:30:39
Speaker 1: That was good. And we both admit that we have a version of that picture. So he really did take pictures with us on the set and Yvette Lee Bowser and I think maybe the writers of this episode.
00:30:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, everybody's shoving their butts in there to get in that picture and he's in the middle all crowded up and everybody's like this.
00:30:56
Speaker 1: Everybody's loving on him.
00:30:57
Speaker 2: Yes, and then we had our own set photographer take the picture. It's a great thing. You know, he was gracious.
00:31:03
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:31:04
Speaker 2: He's amazing. The smile, right?
00:31:06
Speaker 4: Oh, please.
00:31:06
Speaker 2: He deploys it like boom.
00:31:08
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:31:09
Speaker 2: It's a weapon.
00:31:10
Speaker 1: Ooh.
00:31:11
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:31:12
Speaker 1: It's a beautiful weapon.
00:31:12
Speaker 2: Fear not get hit by it. Because I love Arsenio. He's a good guy.
00:31:18
Speaker 1: We need more like him. Okay, Erica.
00:31:22
Speaker 2: Talk to me.
00:31:23
Speaker 1: Black excellence.
00:31:24
Speaker 3: Go.
00:31:25
Speaker 1: I'll start. Living single.
00:31:27
Speaker 2: Okay. Our beautiful melanin in all shades. Family cookouts, hip hop, R & B, basically every genre of music.
00:31:34
Speaker 3: Okay.
00:31:35
Speaker 1: You know how we invented all them line dances and people know the songs and they know how to do all the line dances. How do we do that? Black excellence.
00:31:41
Speaker 3: I don't know.
00:31:41
Speaker 2: And our hair. Our hair, the way it grows from our scalp, we can do so much. Natural, locks, cornrows.
00:31:47
Speaker 1: And it fades. Exactly. See, black excellence has layers. You see what I did there?
00:31:53
Speaker 2: I saw it.
00:31:54
Speaker 1: And Lexus, well, they understand and deliver the luxury that we deserve.
00:31:58
Speaker 2: Because when you embody excellence, you need a ride that moves like you do. Smooth, smart, and impossible to ignore.
00:32:06
Speaker 1: From the moment that you touch that wheel, Alexa says, I didn't just show up, I showed out.
00:32:11
Speaker 2: No, it's more than a car. It represents how you walk through the world. Intentional, grounded, fly, without even trying.
00:32:18
Speaker 1: Because that's what Alexis does. It makes you feel amazing.
00:32:21
Speaker 2: And look good, too.
00:32:23
Speaker 1: Well, then there's that. This show is brought to you by BetterHelp. You know, October 10th is World Mental Health Day. And this year, BetterHelp is shining a well-deserved light on the people who hold us down, the therapists. Now, look, I've had therapy. And let me tell you, there was one session where my therapist said something so simple... but it cracked me wide open. She said, you don't have to earn rest. Well, I got to tell you that that stayed with me. So if you're struggling or if something's just keeping you up at night, talking to someone can help. And BetterHelp makes it just so easy. With over 30,000 therapists and more than 5 million people served, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform for a reason. If you're ready to find the right therapist for you, well, BetterHelp can help you start that journey. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash reliving. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash reliving. All right, y'all, welcome to The Reverb, brought to you by Lexus. Y'all know this is where we reflect and connect and talk about how the episode's themes still echo in the culture. Because just like our stories, Lexus keeps raising the bar. That's the standard of amazing.
00:33:47
Speaker 2: So what are the ingredients for a healthy friendship?
00:33:51
Speaker 1: Truth, honesty, and the American way. No, honesty.
00:33:56
Speaker 2: What propaganda book you looking at? That's ridiculous.
00:34:00
Speaker 1: I think shared values is nice.
00:34:02
Speaker 2: Yes.
00:34:03
Speaker 1: Right?
00:34:04
Speaker 2: Yes.
00:34:05
Speaker 1: Accountability.
00:34:06
Speaker 2: Growth. Because if you, yeah, we have to grow together.
00:34:10
Speaker 1: You do.
00:34:11
Speaker 2: In some way. Right.
00:34:12
Speaker 1: In some way.
00:34:13
Speaker 2: Maybe not on the same road. In some way. Yeah, it's hard to be friends with people who don't grow. Then you go, you know, I've outgrown you. Those people kind of fall off.
00:34:19
Speaker 1: They do.
00:34:20
Speaker 2: They do. Yeah, yeah. Quality time.
00:34:22
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, yeah. Wow.
00:34:23
Speaker 2: Yeah. That's hard.
00:34:24
Speaker 1: I have friends that I don't get to see very often, but when we do, it's rich. It's, you know... intense and beautiful.
00:34:32
Speaker 2: Those two hours really rock.
00:34:33
Speaker 1: Well, my cup gets filled. I have friends that my cup gets filled.
00:34:37
Speaker 2: Just with a little bit of time. And a little trust. Trust.
00:34:40
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
00:34:41
Speaker 2: Trust. If you want to be friends with somebody, they got to trust you.
00:34:43
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:34:44
Speaker 2: Yeah. I love that. Emotional, mental, financial support sometimes.
00:34:48
Speaker 1: Sometimes.
00:34:49
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think you need support.
00:34:52
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:34:52
Speaker 2: And people are willing to do it.
00:34:54
Speaker 1: Oh, and this one's big. Listening. Listening. Listening, not just telling or fixing.
00:34:58
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:34:58
Speaker 3: I know.
00:34:59
Speaker 1: I've been known to, well, what can we do? How can we fix that?
00:35:02
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:35:02
Speaker 1: That's if someone, you know, is open to it. And that's another one, too, is asking, would you like me just to listen? Like, this is a really great trust exercise to go, do you want me just to listen or do you want me to help you find a solution?
00:35:14
Speaker 2: For sure.
00:35:15
Speaker 1: And you get to, you must do what that friend has deemed necessary at this moment.
00:35:20
Speaker 2: Absolutely. Now, we've been friends now for 32 years. 32 years, Erica.
00:35:24
Speaker 1: Wow.
00:35:26
Speaker 2: I know. Oh, Kim.
00:35:29
Speaker 1: 32 years.
00:35:29
Speaker 2: Wow. Let's discuss it.
00:35:31
Speaker 1: Let's talk about it.
00:35:32
Speaker 2: It's 32 years. We have common ground.
00:35:34
Speaker 1: We do.
00:35:34
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:35:35
Speaker 2: We do. Both of our mothers are educators. Yeah. And both our fathers were ministers. Yeah.
00:35:41
Speaker 1: And my father didn't become a minister until I was much older. So he was much older. But I love that we have that in common. Yeah.
00:35:47
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:35:47
Speaker 1: That's amazing. Yeah. That's beautiful.
00:35:49
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:35:50
Speaker 1: And your mother and my mother are similar in their... Their kindness and their.
00:35:56
Speaker 2: Formality.
00:35:56
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:35:57
Speaker 2: They have a certain way about them.
00:36:00
Speaker 1: Lady-likeness.
00:36:00
Speaker 2: That makes you sit a little straighter.
00:36:02
Speaker 1: Absolutely.
00:36:02
Speaker 4: Absolutely.
00:36:03
Speaker 1: Although my mother will tell a dirty joke. I don't think I would imagine your mother.
00:36:06
Speaker 2: Ever telling a dirty joke.
00:36:07
Speaker 1: No, Miss Sammy would not be telling a dirty joke.
00:36:08
Speaker 2: My mother told me a dirty joke last night.
00:36:09
Speaker 1: She'll laugh at a dirty joke. That's all you need.
00:36:11
Speaker 2: That's all you need. If Bernice tells it. If Miss Sammy will do it if Bernice tells it. She just adores your mother.
00:36:15
Speaker 1: Yeah, and my mother adores your mother too.
00:36:17
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:36:17
Speaker 1: And your mother's protected her one time. I don't know if you know this story. My mother's sisters, you met them. They loved you. Were very overbearing at times because she's the baby sister and they would talk over her and One time your mother, they were all visiting and your mother said, well, let's let Bernice tell her story now. And my mother said, I was so happy that Sammy, she came and she took my side, Kim. It was wonderful. She saw what was going on and she came and she took, she let Bernice talk. And that was so kind for.
00:36:47
Speaker 2: Her to do so. Oh, I love it. I love it. Well, you know, they do love each other, but we love each other.
00:36:52
Speaker 1: We do.
00:36:52
Speaker 2: And we've had a long time to be together outside of living single, which is nice. We don't always get our quality time.
00:37:01
Speaker 1: We don't. We don't. And since the pandemic, I haven't had quality time with you at all.
00:37:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, you kind of ghosted me.
00:37:08
Speaker 1: I did.
00:37:08
Speaker 2: Did you ghost me?
00:37:09
Speaker 1: I was laid up under Dr. E.J.
00:37:10
Speaker 2: Johnson.
00:37:11
Speaker 1: Like we became, we did pandemic. Well, not laid up. I didn't mean like that. I pandemicked with E.J. And so we were.
00:37:19
Speaker 2: Okay, well, I know why now. You laid up underneath somebody, especially a doctor. Who am I? Okay.
00:37:26
Speaker 1: But you know what?
00:37:26
Speaker 2: But we keep in touch, and the love is there, and we were very close on set. Right. And that wasn't always the case. No.
00:37:33
Speaker 1: Well, I always, can I just tell the story? I love telling the story of how I was maid of honor at your wedding and you were maid of honor at my wedding and neither one of us are married to those men anymore. Oh, God. God, we're the witches of Eastwick. You're bad luck. Maybe so, maybe so. So, yeah, but it wasn't always that way. We've had our moments.
00:37:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, we've had our moments. Listen, life with you ain't been no crystal stairs. Ooh. And the lighting seems to think it's true.
00:38:07
Speaker 1: The lighting has gone down.
00:38:08
Speaker 2: Yes, it's dramatic. The lighting. Well, Kim, where do you think we could have done better, and how have we had our disagreements?
00:38:17
Speaker 1: I think one of the things that we have in common that also may cause tension between us is I think we're both a little stubborn. I think that when you have an idea in your head, then that's the way it should be. And when I have an idea in my head, that's the way it should be. So there is a little bit of that, although there is room to flow. And we sometimes, usually it's me giving up because you've.
00:38:40
Speaker 2: Put your- That's hilarious.
00:38:43
Speaker 1: Oh, it's usually me going, okay, Erica, whatever you say.
00:38:46
Speaker 2: No, okay, so now you're the victim?
00:38:48
Speaker 1: I didn't say I was the victim. I just said that often you're so, you put your stake in the ground. I just go, okay, Erica, whatever you say.
00:38:55
Speaker 2: Kim, you know you lie. You know you lie. You know you lie.
00:38:59
Speaker 1: I think more often than not, I'm the one who goes.
00:39:01
Speaker 2: You're a historian. That's the truth.
00:39:03
Speaker 1: Okay, go ahead.
00:39:04
Speaker 2: I give in so much to you. Really? Oh, because you a hard rock. She looks like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. But I tell you, she put them manson lamps on you. Next thing you know, you got to give her what she wants because she just digs in. She's very stubborn like a child. You know what I'm saying? I want this. I want that. And the next thing you know, you got to give it to her. She relents a bit and then you see an opening and then perhaps there's like, you know, a calming down. And then she's ready to negotiate.
00:39:35
Speaker 1: Okay, Erica, whatever you say. See, I did it just there. I think we both have done. Well, I don't think we could be friends as long as we have been if there wasn't a give and a take. In that way.
00:39:47
Speaker 2: There's definitely a give and a take. And I think we are both stubborn. I like to think that we also know, and as Amber has pointed this out, that we know how to repair.
00:39:56
Speaker 1: Yes, we do. Well, we made this pact. Okay, so let me start by saying this. I remember the day that I instantly fell in love. I was like, I love this girl. She's so funny. She's so cool. It was on the set of Living Single. And I was like, I love her. She's great because you're you. And so I immediately was like, I like her. I'm going to be friends with her. And I always tease you about this first conversation. We made a pact early on, and you set the tone of the relationship by cursing me out. What? Yeah, you did. You did. You didn't really curse me out, but you put a boundary up that was helpful. So I had been gossiping about someone. You remember the story? I remember walking across the lot, and I just was carrying on and you stopped me. And it's important to note that I am what, like seven years older than you, eight years older. So here's someone who's 24 and I'm 31. Here's a young girl telling me, Kim, here's the thing. I like you. I really do. And I think that we're going to be working together a long time. And this is not going to be able to, we're not going to be able to sustain this. I understand that you want to vent and you want to say what you have to say, but we're not going to be able to sustain working together with you constantly coming at me with these stories, please. You're going to have to find another outlet. And I was like, oh my goodness, Erica, I'm so sorry. Have I offended you? I'm so, I'm a grown woman. I'm so sorry, Erica, you're right. And I really should, you know, do the work on myself and you, but you'd lay down a boundary. And I didn't have any friends that had any boundaries, but you did. And I appreciate it.
00:41:40
Speaker 2: Do you remember that?
00:41:41
Speaker 1: I do remember that. What's your version of the story? I do remember that.
00:41:43
Speaker 2: But I also remember getting thrown out your trailer.
00:41:45
Speaker 1: Erica, leave.
00:41:47
Speaker 2: In that very dramatic.
00:41:48
Speaker 3: Way, leave.
00:41:50
Speaker 1: Please leave now.
00:41:51
Speaker 2: Please leave now.
00:41:52
Speaker 1: Yeah, we had a fight.
00:41:52
Speaker 2: And I was like, you're throwing me out? And you said, leave.
00:41:57
Speaker 1: Oh, Erica, I did.
00:41:58
Speaker 2: And I left your trailer.
00:42:00
Speaker 1: You did.
00:42:01
Speaker 2: And I didn't know what to do because, of course, I should leave your trailer. You say go. And I walked. Out of that trailer, those three steps down with my head up. Out of that janky trailer.
00:42:13
Speaker 1: Janky trailer.
00:42:15
Speaker 2: Walked to mine and then called my then husband and cried and said, Kim, just threw me out of her trailer. Oh, what do you mean, Erica? It's all right. She didn't know.
00:42:28
Speaker 1: I was embarrassed.
00:42:29
Speaker 2: Plus, I thought since you threw me out of your set home that I would never be able to return. And I don't even think I ever did. I think I was so traumatized I never went in there again. Did you notice?
00:42:43
Speaker 1: I didn't notice. But we were fine after that.
00:42:47
Speaker 2: I never was invited back. It was.
00:42:49
Speaker 1: Oh, come on, that's not true.
00:42:51
Speaker 2: This was well into it. Yeah, that's why I said, it ain't been no crystal stairs with you.
00:42:56
Speaker 1: Do you know that I called my mother that day, that same moment? I'm grown. Erica and I just... Had a fight. Oh, Kim, you and precious Erica, because that's what she calls you, precious Erica. You and precious Erica, you'll make up. Every friendship has a little moment like this, but you all will be okay. I don't know. She makes me so mad. She makes me so mad. Didn't even ask what was said or done. You came back to my trailer. You came to my home at least.
00:43:24
Speaker 2: I'm sure you've- I did come to your home, but never to that trailer. Really? Oh, it was, you know, that's the dark side. I don't want to go there. It's like going to Mordor.
00:43:34
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
00:43:34
Speaker 2: Frodo can never go to Mordor.
00:43:36
Speaker 3: I know.
00:43:37
Speaker 2: That's where Gollum lives. Okay. They get it.
00:43:42
Speaker 1: They get it.
00:43:42
Speaker 2: You know, here's the beautiful part. I do think repair is important.
00:43:45
Speaker 3: Oh.
00:43:46
Speaker 2: And I do think we have our disagreements. And sometimes I think you ascribe things to me that I don't think are really there. I think they're of your own making. And I'm sure I do it to you. I'm just saying. Okay. I think you do. You see me in a way that can be, I don't think that's what's happening.
00:44:02
Speaker 1: That's possible. I'll see. I can share. Here's what I think it is. I think we have a different way. So you can be, you know, sometimes you'll say things and you don't sugarcoat them. You're just like, it is what it is. Yeah.
00:44:19
Speaker 2: Okay.
00:44:19
Speaker 1: All the time. I was trying to be kind. All the time. You're very, all the time. You're like, and that's like, oh, ouch. And I have to realize that it's not coming out of meanness or the shrew that I think you are in that moment. It's not really that. It's really that that's just your way. You really feel strongly. In fact, I would tell you, it's funny. Last night, it happened on a call that we did last night and I had to go, oh, that shouldn't mean nothing by that. So I said, I'm going to have to get off around 8.15. And you said, okay, okay. Oh, you can leave whenever you want. And I was like, how dare you tell me I can leave? I know I can leave whenever I want. I was like, Oh, there's no need. You just would say, you can leave whenever you want.
00:45:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, 8-15, 8, meaning you don't have to be here if you need it somewhere else.
00:45:05
Speaker 1: Right, but there's a tone that you sometimes have.
00:45:07
Speaker 2: So I'm right that I think sometimes you see things in what I say differently than how I mean them.
00:45:13
Speaker 4: Oh, yes.
00:45:14
Speaker 1: But here's something else we have in common. We both like to be right.
00:45:17
Speaker 2: That's true.
00:45:18
Speaker 1: That's a common thing.
00:45:18
Speaker 2: The difference is I'm usually right.
00:45:22
Speaker 1: That remains to be seen. What about the pact?
00:45:25
Speaker 2: You're right. The pact. The pact. What is the pact?
00:45:29
Speaker 1: The pact is to always return to love. No matter what. Remember the love.
00:45:34
Speaker 2: Remember the love. Remember the love. It's hard, man.
00:45:38
Speaker 1: It's a moment. It's a moment.
00:45:39
Speaker 2: It is. I don't always like you, but I always love you.
00:45:43
Speaker 1: Same here. This has been an interesting journey because we're reconnecting and I'm relearning you. I'm learning new things. And like, you know, you've been off living your life over here and it's like, oh, Erica's back again. Oh, that's different. But is it different or is it just more of growth, more of the same, more to love, more to love?
00:46:06
Speaker 2: I think so, just in a different context. And, you know, and same with you because you've been off, you know, who knows what type of spells you've been casting. Hexes, you've been throwing my way.
00:46:19
Speaker 1: A love spell your way. It's always to do no harm.
00:46:25
Speaker 2: Thank you, witchy poo. Listen, we need the light again.
00:46:30
Speaker 1: We need the light.
00:46:31
Speaker 2: We can come into the light.
00:46:32
Speaker 1: The light is always here with us.
00:46:34
Speaker 2: You know that, don't you?
00:46:35
Speaker 1: The light is always available to you at any given time. Maybe now.
00:46:57
Speaker 2: True Blue.
00:46:58
Speaker 1: True Blue is the segment where we hear from our beautiful friends. Erica and I will answer anything that you have. And Amber has the question. Amber, who do we have?
00:47:09
Speaker 4: Hey, so we have Neona M., and she's from Orlando, Florida. And she says, Hi, Erica and Kim. First off, thank you both for creating a space to revisit Living Single with such heart, humor, and honesty. The show meant so much to me growing up, and now hearing your stories and reflections feels like a beautiful reunion with old friends. She asks, if Living Single had continued for a few more seasons, what storyline would you have wanted for your character? something the writers never explored but you secretly hoped for. Also, as a bonus, who would you have cast as a love interest or major guest star if you had full creative control?
00:47:52
Speaker 1: I'm going to cheat by saying that it was actually already written that a dream of Sinclair would be to have twins, Sincloverton and Overclare. And so I would want to see that fully realized and actually a spinoff with Sinclair Overton and the twins, a boy and a girl, a boy and a girl. That would be very nice. I don't know who those young actors would be, but that would have been wonderful.
00:48:22
Speaker 2: Wow. I love that. And who do you want cast that you wish you?
00:48:26
Speaker 1: I think Idris Elba would come on the show and try to steal me away from Overton.
00:48:30
Speaker 2: He wasn't even born.
00:48:30
Speaker 1: I know, but it's today. It's today.
00:48:33
Speaker 2: You're right.
00:48:33
Speaker 3: All right.
00:48:33
Speaker 1: I can't think of anybody else.
00:48:35
Speaker 2: Well, you're going to laugh, but let me explain this real quick. I would want the storyline where Max goes to visit her parents and they're dead. They're in the graveyard. Because that's what I pitched.
00:48:45
Speaker 1: That's what you always wanted.
00:48:47
Speaker 2: Why I pitched Yvette that, man. Oh, I didn't pitch it. She said, we're going to bring your... mother on. And I said, you can't, she's dead.
00:48:55
Speaker 1: In your mind, she was dead. She was. But in the mind of Yvette Lee Bowser, who was your mother?
00:49:00
Speaker 2: The great CCH Pounder. That's who they cast. She cites that. She always laughs at that. But I actually thought that was going to be funny. Plus, I have... So when you're an actor, they encourage you to build backstories. And I'm an actor that'll build a backstory when there is none. And for many years, I didn't have one. You guys all had your parents. And I actually thought, I don't want the drama of parents. They're dead probably. And I just love that. And so maybe she has a routine where she's never gone and suddenly she goes to visit them because she has unfinished business or something. So I thought it would be funny. But it wasn't like I was... doing it because I really didn't want to deal with the storyline. That's the truth. But I also thought it would be cool.
00:49:46
Speaker 1: It would be interesting to see why she is the way she is. Maybe she lives full out because her parents are no longer here.
00:49:54
Speaker 2: Right. And you can't wait until people invent things for you. You got to live. You got to live. Yeah. So I think that would be great if Max's parents, no shade to the great CCH Pounder. I'm glad that happened that way. But I thought they'd be dead. And the other thing is, I don't know who I'd want, but I don't think they'd necessarily be an actor. I would have liked a performer, and I would have loved, loved for Michael Jackson to come out. I don't even care how. I'm sorry. Shamone. Can Michael come on?
00:50:24
Speaker 1: Can Michael come on?
00:50:25
Speaker 2: Shamone.
00:50:26
Speaker 1: And he might, because didn't he do Men in Black 2? Like, he loved that movie so much that he asked if he could be a character on that movie. Are you driving me? Mm-hmm.
00:50:36
Speaker 2: Wow.
00:50:36
Speaker 1: So he would come on the show. Of course, he would have come on the show.
00:50:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would have been asking for people that I admired. You know, Mandela. Can you imagine Mandela came on Living Singles? Could we make him a professor or something?
00:50:48
Speaker 1: But we have to understand.
00:50:50
Speaker 2: Right. He could play my father.
00:50:52
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
00:50:52
Speaker 2: He could play Max's father.
00:50:54
Speaker 1: Okay. But you just said your father's dead.
00:50:56
Speaker 2: If he's Mandela, he's alive. Okay.
00:50:57
Speaker 1: Okay. Got you. Oh, my God. Resurrected.
00:50:59
Speaker 2: I would love that.
00:51:00
Speaker 1: I should not have done the voice. Was that wrong?
00:51:02
Speaker 3: No.
00:51:03
Speaker 2: That's how he talked.
00:51:03
Speaker 1: That's how he talked.
00:51:05
Speaker 2: Yeah. He had a tenor voice that was kind of choked up.
00:51:08
Speaker 1: And he was in his throat, right?
00:51:09
Speaker 3: Yes.
00:51:09
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:51:09
Speaker 2: We must take these things that we've learned. And we must go forward. I know what I'm doing. I want to be connected to Mandela. Okay. And we are.
00:51:22
Speaker 1: And we are.
00:51:23
Speaker 2: Because we all come from the motherland.
00:51:25
Speaker 1: Indeed. Okay.
00:51:27
Speaker 2: Did we answer your question? Probably not. But listen, thanks for sending it in. And if you have a question.
00:51:32
Speaker 1: We may get as silly on your answer as we did with this one too.
00:51:36
Speaker 2: Send your questions and comments to reliving single podcast. at heartbeat.com.
00:51:42
Speaker 1: Listen, you stayed here this whole time. Tell your friends to watch the show and watch the whole episode because you never know what's going to happen.
00:51:48
Speaker 2: Yes, you never know what's going to happen. Watch all the way through. Put it on in the background and enjoy yourself. Yeah, because it matters, actually. And tell a friend, subscribe, like, all of those good things. All those things.
00:51:59
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:51:59
Speaker 1: I'm glad I'm friends with you, Erica.
00:52:01
Speaker 2: I'm glad I'm friends with you, too. What's the moral of this story?
00:52:03
Speaker 1: The moral of this story is friendship can endure if you choose it powerfully. and make the pact to do so.
00:52:14
Speaker 2: Yeah. Friends matter.
00:52:15
Speaker 1: Friends matter.
00:52:18
Speaker 2: I gotta... I'm trying to hug you.
00:52:22
Speaker 1: Notice how we both hugged out so we could get our camera.
00:52:29
Speaker 2: Reliving Single is hosted by me, Erica Alexander.
00:52:32
Speaker 1: And me, Kim Coles.
00:52:34
Speaker 2: Reliving Single is a production of Heartbeat in association with Color Farm Media.
00:52:38
Speaker 1: Executive produced by Kevin Hart, Jeff Clannigan, Eric Eddings, Leslie Guam, Erica Alexander, and Ben Arnon.
00:52:46
Speaker 2: The show is produced by Kim Coles.
00:52:48
Speaker 1: Amber Watson is our senior producer.
00:52:51
Speaker 2: Our associate producer is Kenny Jackson.
00:52:53
Speaker 1: Our other associate producer is Elektra Tellesford.
00:52:56
Speaker 2: Our sound engineers are Eric Hicks and Cedric Wilson.
00:53:00
Speaker 1: Production supervision by Razak Boykin and Brett Calkins.
00:53:05
Speaker 2: Additional production support from Alex Atkins, and Z Taylor.
00:53:09
Speaker 1: Special thanks to BK Augustine and Dr. EJ Johnson.
Speaker 1: Coming up on Reliving Single.
00:00:01
Speaker 2: Now, we've been friends now for 32 years.
00:00:04
Speaker 1: 32 years, Erica. We made a pact to each other. No matter what, we're always going to come back to love.
00:00:10
Speaker 2: We broke the pact a few times.
00:00:11
Speaker 1: A couple of times.
00:00:12
Speaker 2: Is the pact still?
00:00:13
Speaker 1: No, the pact is still intact.
00:00:14
Speaker 2: Okay.
00:00:15
Speaker 1: Money, money, money. Money. The moocher has been mooched.
00:00:22
Speaker 2: We're in Hollywood and you're working out next to Kunta Kinte.
00:00:24
Speaker 1: Kunta Kinte.
00:00:26
Speaker 2: We've had our moments. Listen, life with you... Ain't been no crystal stairs. What?
00:00:32
Speaker 1: Never too much, never too much. You lying meek.
00:01:02
Speaker 2: Welcome back to Re-Living Single, the official, unofficial living single rewatch podcast.
00:01:08
Speaker 3: Yes.
00:01:09
Speaker 2: Come on.
00:01:09
Speaker 1: Money, money, money, money.
00:01:12
Speaker 2: Money. All right.
00:01:14
Speaker 1: Do you think that the love of money is the root of all evil? Ah, okay.
00:01:18
Speaker 2: I don't know. But they say it's not money that's the root of all evil. It's the love of money that's the root of all evil. It's mostly certainly one of the things that can complicate a relationship. It's one of the reasons that A lot of relationships die to death. Have you ever fallen out with a friend over money?
00:01:36
Speaker 1: Yes, I have. There was a friend that I had many years ago and she called me and asked me to loan her some money. And I did. And, you know, this is a time when things weren't, you know, I wasn't in the flow of a whole lot of money myself. So I gave her something. And when I... saw her next time she was wearing the latest fashions. I mean, like an outfit for the gods. I was like, how are you wearing the latest stuff? And I'm shopping the clearance rack, but I done sent you some money.
00:02:02
Speaker 2: Oh, that's messed up.
00:02:02
Speaker 1: She told me she needed it for rent. So we not friends no more.
00:02:06
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, that's what I'm talking about. I mean, that's exactly it. Money already complicates everything in life. But, you know, I think life gets even messier when, you know, a friend doesn't show up or they're inconsistent.
00:02:18
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:02:18
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's messed up because they're unreliable. It just makes everything weird and wears you down.
00:02:24
Speaker 1: But we're talking about it now, and we're talking about it in this episode. That's what this show is about.
00:02:29
Speaker 2: You ready to get into it?
00:02:30
Speaker 1: Students! It's time for The Rewind, where we watch and relive living single with you. So today we are reliving, reliving single season one, episode 21, Friends Like These. And ooh, this is a really hot one.
00:02:50
Speaker 2: Come on. Okay.
00:02:51
Speaker 1: So Khadijah's shady friend is back. Here she come. Her name is Jackie. She's Khadijah's old college friend and she's shown up for a visit and right away, Max's guard goes up. Her spidey sense is like, uh, uh. You know it. So she's on high alert because she's trying to protect Khadijah because she knows that Jackie still owes Khadijah money. And deep down, Max is pretty sure that Jackie- Didn't come to say hi. She come to ask for some more money.
00:03:15
Speaker 2: Uh-oh.
00:03:16
Speaker 1: And there's a B story. There's a B story.
00:03:18
Speaker 2: Kyle and Overton are feeling the urge to nurture. Yep, even the guys want to nurture. Overton gets a tank of fish, but Kyle's new fish, a bigger one, eats them. Damn. To make up for it, Kyle gives Overton a puppy.
00:03:30
Speaker 1: It was written by Ellen Spocko and Colleen Tabor. Directed by our beloved Ellen Falcon, also known as Gittleson, and years later. And we guest stars. We have some guest stars. We have Sharnell Brown.
00:03:42
Speaker 2: Come on, Sharnell Brown. From a different world. Wonderful. And Arsenio Hall.
00:03:47
Speaker 1: Arsenio Hall himself. As himself, too. Hey, Max!
00:03:56
Speaker 2: What's up, baby?
00:03:59
Speaker 1: Max!
00:04:00
Speaker 3: Oh!
00:04:01
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes. Big hug.
00:04:02
Speaker 1: What you doing in New York?
00:04:03
Speaker 2: I thought I'd take a crack at acting.
00:04:05
Speaker 1: You know, the legitimate stage. And, Khadijah, I promise, as soon as things start working for me, I will pay back that money. You owe me money?
00:04:13
Speaker 2: $ 226, borrowed in June of 1986. Give me a minute. I'll figure out the interest. Let's talk a second.
00:04:20
Speaker 1: Let's have a moment.
00:04:20
Speaker 2: About the great Sharnell Brown, A Different World.
00:04:23
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:04:23
Speaker 2: She played Kimberly Reese on A Different World.
00:04:26
Speaker 1: She sure did.
00:04:26
Speaker 2: Kimberly was going to be a doctor. For people who are paying attention, she is the third member, cast member of Different World. That has now come on the show.
00:04:35
Speaker 1: And that probably speaks to the relationship that Yvette Lee Bowser, who had been a writer on A Different World, had with these actors. Like, come on and do my other show. And so that's wonderful that we have the greats and we get to play with all the greats.
00:04:47
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:04:48
Speaker 1: And she's a doll baby, too.
00:04:48
Speaker 2: She is a doll baby, too. She really is. So what we're also finding out here is that Khadija has given her money because Max tells her right up front. She remembers it. But we also, I'm a little surprised because Khadija ain't as cheap as we thought she was. She gave her some money.
00:05:05
Speaker 1: Maybe she's cheap now because she'd been lending money then, but she doesn't even remember that she loaned her money.
00:05:10
Speaker 2: Isn't that interesting?
00:05:11
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:05:11
Speaker 2: So to her, for some reason, she's got a little, you know, soft spot.
00:05:14
Speaker 1: A little soft spot for her.
00:05:16
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's kind of messed up.
00:05:18
Speaker 1: You said something to me while we were watching the clip about Chanel's walk. Yes. She does have an iconic walk.
00:05:24
Speaker 3: She does.
00:05:24
Speaker 2: Chanel Brown has a great walk.
00:05:26
Speaker 1: She does.
00:05:26
Speaker 2: It's powerful. You know, it's mogulesque.
00:05:28
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:05:28
Speaker 2: For her size. She sort of comes in and, you know, the waist that she holds herself. And she's like small but mighty. Yeah.
00:05:35
Speaker 1: She takes up space in a way that's not stealing the space, but she takes it up and owns it always. And plus that coat helped her out too. Like it flowed with her. It was great. It's great to see her in that space.
00:05:45
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:05:46
Speaker 2: We all know big trouble comes in small packages. So this ain't going to be good. Let's see what's going on.
00:05:50
Speaker 1: And that beautiful smile.
00:05:52
Speaker 2: That's right. Hey, Max and Jackie. You're still here. In my chair. Yes. Where are the raisin bagels?
00:06:08
Speaker 3: My mouth was all set for raisin bagels.
00:06:13
Speaker 2: I need my raisin bagel.
00:06:16
Speaker 1: Oops.
00:06:20
Speaker 2: There's still some left.
00:06:22
Speaker 3: How kind.
00:06:27
Speaker 1: If you've got a problem with Jackie, take it up with Khadijah. I mean, she's her friend.
00:06:31
Speaker 3: Now, do you think I would waste my time venting to you two if I could talk to Khadijah?
00:06:35
Speaker 2: As far as she's concerned, Jackie can do no wrong.
00:06:39
Speaker 1: Oh, I know what you're talking about.
00:06:40
Speaker 2: I feel the same way about LeVar Burton.
00:06:44
Speaker 1: So we see now that Jackie has taken up residence and Max is not having it, so it's the next morning. Now, is it about the fact that she's mooching off Khadijah or is it the fact that she's coming and taking up space, your space?
00:06:56
Speaker 2: I'd say both.
00:06:57
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:06:57
Speaker 2: You know, you're going to be a moocher and you mooching in my mooch space.
00:07:02
Speaker 1: That's right.
00:07:03
Speaker 2: You know, Max is the moocher.
00:07:05
Speaker 3: You.
00:07:05
Speaker 2: So she coming in looking for what? Her coffee?
00:07:08
Speaker 3: Right.
00:07:09
Speaker 2: Gone. Ain't nothing in there.
00:07:11
Speaker 1: When you go into the cup, you just feel nothing.
00:07:13
Speaker 2: Nothing.
00:07:14
Speaker 1: It's great.
00:07:14
Speaker 2: By the way, she's in her seat.
00:07:16
Speaker 1: Yes.
00:07:17
Speaker 2: That's Max's seat at the table.
00:07:18
Speaker 1: That's right.
00:07:19
Speaker 2: And in the last straw, then you took my raisin bagel.
00:07:21
Speaker 1: Come on. And then she gives you half of it and you take it and throw it away. You don't even take it and eat it.
00:07:25
Speaker 2: Hell no.
00:07:26
Speaker 1: Why would you eat after somebody else?
00:07:28
Speaker 2: Exactly. I can't, you know, reward a moocher. No, no. So, I mean, I just love it because it flips the script on Max.
00:07:38
Speaker 3: Right.
00:07:38
Speaker 2: Now she knows what it's like.
00:07:40
Speaker 1: The moocher has been mooched. The moocher has been moved out the way.
00:07:45
Speaker 2: Max has been dethroned. Right. So, yeah. Yeah. I think that it's nice because we needed some, you know, energy. And it's nice that it's female energy and that it's a friend of Khadija and Max and they all went to college together. So we all know if you go to school together that there's a different dynamic. And it's cool sometime when you're with your friend you like, but when the other friend that they like and you didn't like comes in, it can mess up the whole.
00:08:12
Speaker 1: It changes the whole dynamic. And let's just have a moment also for Sinclair loving on LeVar Burton. Which is wonderful.
00:08:21
Speaker 2: Hey, that's what's up.
00:08:23
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't you choose the best? By the way, a little fun fact. LeVar Burton's wife did the makeup for our pilot, the great Stephanie Cozart Burton, who's still an amazing makeup artist. And I worked with her on In Living Color. And when I worked with her then, she was engaged to LeVar and now married for a thousand years. And so I just want to do a shout out.
00:08:43
Speaker 2: He helped me with my living single contract negotiations. So I was working... at Gold's Gym, working out at Gold's Gym. And when I'd go there, there'd be Dr. Dre there. And there was also LeVar Burton would work out there. Now imagine, we're in Hollywood and you're working out next to Kunta Kinte.
00:08:58
Speaker 1: Kunta Kinte.
00:09:02
Speaker 2: And the chronic. Right. You know what I'm saying? So I said, only in LA. Right. So I thought he just looked like somebody who had been around and an elder. And I said, Mr. Burton, he's like, LeVar, please. I said, I'm a fan. And I told them what was going on. They said, Erica, let me tell you something. Whatever they offer you, can you walk away? If you imagine what it is to walk away and you're okay with that, then you can do anything. But if you imagine that if you did lose a job, you wouldn't like what was on the other side, then you know you have to stay in negotiation. And you might have to maybe take something you didn't like. And I was like, thank you, because He gave me permission to say no, but he also said there's consequences. So, you know, I obviously stayed.
00:09:50
Speaker 1: But he gave you that beautiful understanding of knowing how far to push it for yourself. So have you ever Got into that place in the negotiation and you were like, I will walk if they don't give me this. And you're fine with like, you know what? It's going to be great. I'll be all right on the other side. And then they met your demands. You're like, oh man, I kind of wish they hadn't given it to me because I kind of wanted to go meet her. Yep.
00:10:14
Speaker 2: That's happened too, girl. More than I thought.
00:10:16
Speaker 1: I was like, oh man.
00:10:16
Speaker 2: Tell them the number is this. Right.
00:10:19
Speaker 1: And they come back with this and you're like, oh.
00:10:22
Speaker 3: Damn. Damn.
00:10:24
Speaker 1: That's a good place to be.
00:10:25
Speaker 3: It is.
00:10:25
Speaker 1: That's a good problem to have. It is.
00:10:27
Speaker 2: Because at least now you know that the amount, the remuneration is equal to the labor. That's right. Because you may not like the material, but maybe you say, you know what though?
00:10:36
Speaker 1: At least I'm getting paid.
00:10:37
Speaker 3: Right.
00:10:38
Speaker 2: And you know, and as long as it doesn't demean or take away your integrity, it's all good.
00:10:42
Speaker 3: Right.
00:10:42
Speaker 1: All right, good problems to have.
00:10:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, so thank you to the great LeVar Burton. LeVar Burton of Star Trek.
00:10:47
Speaker 1: I'm looking like he's over there.
00:10:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, he's not just Kunta Kinte. He's reading Rainbow and all that, but he's also an elder, and he's one of the smartest people, and we also campaign together, so I love LeVar.
00:10:55
Speaker 3: I love it. Jackie is going to hook me up with Arsenio for the cup of flavor. Get out.
00:11:00
Speaker 1: The Arsenio. The Arsenio. Well, I'm going to go tell Overton and the fish.
00:11:09
Speaker 3: I find her consistently stupefying.
00:11:13
Speaker 2: Well, I think she's the kind of person that makes things happen. She convinced me.
00:11:16
Speaker 1: To start Flavor when everybody else said it couldn't be done, including you.
00:11:20
Speaker 2: Hey, I never said you couldn't.
00:11:22
Speaker 3: I just pointed out the odds on a young, single, black woman with no collateral getting loaned from the middle-aged, white male-dominated banking industry, okay?
00:11:29
Speaker 2: Arsenio Paul.
00:11:32
Speaker 1: Come on, that would be huge.
00:11:34
Speaker 2: Are you kidding? And everyone's hyped except Max.
00:11:36
Speaker 4: Right.
00:11:37
Speaker 2: Of course. Who's not buying it? She's like, how is this still your friend? Then we get it. Jackie was the first one to believe in Khadijah's dream.
00:11:46
Speaker 1: Do you really believe that Max didn't believe in Khadijah's dream? Or does Khadijah really believe it just because Jackie was like, I got you. This is going to be hot. This is going to be amazing. Because the advice that you give her is realistic. It makes sense. I don't think it doesn't sound to me at all that you didn't believe in her dream.
00:12:04
Speaker 2: No.
00:12:04
Speaker 1: You're just giving her other things to think about.
00:12:06
Speaker 2: No, no, not at all. And so maybe it's how we're saying it here. But the truth is she was saying before anybody. There was Jackie. I mean, the thing to hear about Max's explanation is that she was like, I believed in it, but I also was telling you that you weren't going to get any capital. You weren't going to get anybody in this white, you know, sort of male-dominated, you know, I don't know, economic system to give you the money you needed because you were young and single and all that. Jackie was more supportive. Just do it. Just do it. And Max was like, yeah, but you're not going to get this. Right.
00:12:37
Speaker 1: Just be aware of the pitfalls and be aware of what's out there to come. There is such a difference. And I think we do that. We have people in our lives that are super, super cheerleaders. Yeah, girl, you're going to do that.
00:12:47
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:12:49
Speaker 1: And then she's gone. She has no... means or other help other than like you gonna do this girl and you're like giving her real solid advice just so you know there's some things that you need to look out for and so I it's just and that's probably the.
00:13:00
Speaker 2: Difference between them there's a Flava Flav hype man of Jackie and then there's Max who's gonna stay with you and figure out how to do it but that's the one who's gonna Look.
00:13:09
Speaker 1: And stick with her.
00:13:10
Speaker 2: Thank you.
00:13:10
Speaker 1: As you did. And loan her money.
00:13:12
Speaker 2: Yeah, loan her money. Come on. Where's Jackie been?
00:13:14
Speaker 1: Where's Jackie been?
00:13:15
Speaker 2: Coming to hype everybody up and then disappear.
00:13:17
Speaker 1: I'm on Max's side.
00:13:18
Speaker 2: Me too. Me too. Oh, my goodness. Meanwhile, Arsenio Hall.
00:13:22
Speaker 1: Arsenio Hall. Let's just have a moment of silence or joy or something for Arsenio.
00:13:28
Speaker 2: Arsenio Hall. This was the Arsenio Hall era. He debuted in 1989. And so he was already on when we came on.
00:13:36
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was.
00:13:37
Speaker 2: Right? Yeah.
00:13:37
Speaker 1: And he was... At a time when black and brown acts couldn't get booked on other shows, so they came and Arsenio... laid out the red carpet for them to come and shine. It was a great experience. We did the show. We, as the cast of Living Single, went and we did. We had so much fun.
00:13:58
Speaker 2: It was so sweet. We were so excited.
00:14:01
Speaker 1: I mean, he's the best.
00:14:03
Speaker 2: It was the best.
00:14:04
Speaker 1: I had done the first season of In Living Color, and then I went back on the road to open for Luther Vandross. And then I came off the road.
00:14:11
Speaker 2: Did she just drop that?
00:14:12
Speaker 1: Oh, then there's that.
00:14:13
Speaker 2: I went back on the road to open for Luther.
00:14:16
Speaker 1: Luther Vandross, one of the best times of my life.
00:14:18
Speaker 2: Never too much, never too much.
00:14:20
Speaker 1: Never too much to watch him.
00:14:21
Speaker 2: You lying to me. Okay, we don't have to get to that.
00:14:22
Speaker 3: Keep going.
00:14:22
Speaker 1: We'll have a separate conversation.
00:14:23
Speaker 2: My God.
00:14:24
Speaker 1: So I went and did the Arsenio Hall show and he was so kind and so generous. And he did that thing that the best talk show hosts do, letting your guests have their moment. So your job is to shine, but mostly allow your guests to shine. And that makes you shine.
00:14:44
Speaker 2: I remember how hard Arsenio Hall worked in those moments. He leaned forward.
00:14:49
Speaker 3: Yes.
00:14:50
Speaker 2: But I hear, I mean, he'd sit forward and he leaned like this.
00:14:54
Speaker 1: And this is culture. This is our culture. That whole dog pound thing, that's him. That's him.
00:15:00
Speaker 3: My God.
00:15:02
Speaker 1: Deserved every accolade that he got and probably deserves way more flowers than he received.
00:15:06
Speaker 2: He did. And he had us on two days before our pilot aired.
00:15:10
Speaker 1: That's right.
00:15:10
Speaker 2: So he was already giving us a space before anyone had seen us. Again, who fills that space anymore? No one.
00:15:17
Speaker 3: No one.
00:15:17
Speaker 2: No, not anyone.
00:15:18
Speaker 1: A place where you feel welcomed and welcome to shine. What is the fascination with the fish? I mean, you can't teach them tricks. You can't pet them. And if you take them out for a walk, they die. But their world is so much like yours, Kyle. I mean, they're self-sufficient.
00:15:34
Speaker 2: Only the strongest survive. And the pretty boys get all the female.
00:15:40
Speaker 1: Is that so? Hey, check it out, Kyle. Little Coco's looking at you.
00:15:46
Speaker 4: Right.
00:15:47
Speaker 1: Yeah, she is. She's saying, Kyle, don't hate me because I'm scaly. I love the way Sharnell's character, Jackie, charms him and explains to him why, oh, why wouldn't She loves you. Why aren't these fish just like you? And she charms him.
00:16:04
Speaker 3: Yes.
00:16:04
Speaker 2: We see her gift of, and I want to call it the powers of her manipulation. She's a gifted person. She speaks straight to his ego. And then suddenly something that he was annoyed about, he's open to because he said, they're like you, Kyle. I mean, you know, the pretty boy gets all the girls. He's like, oh, is that so? So that's great.
00:16:23
Speaker 1: We're also getting a sense to see how Jackie is obviously manipulating all of us now. Right? Yeah, we see it. And Maxine knows it.
00:16:31
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
00:16:32
Speaker 1: What's about to happen now.
00:16:33
Speaker 2: Come on.
00:16:34
Speaker 3: But we both know it's just a matter of time before she starts working her way back into your wallet.
00:16:37
Speaker 2: Max, give it a rest.
00:16:40
Speaker 1: Ooh, sorry I'm late, but I had an audition. Where's my desk, boss? Not a word.
00:16:49
Speaker 2: The job search seems to have gone well.
00:16:52
Speaker 1: Jackie's our newest file clerk and assistant.
00:16:55
Speaker 2: I'm taking her under my wing.
00:16:57
Speaker 1: Khadijah. It's your tax guy on line two, not a happy camper.
00:17:03
Speaker 2: What the hell?
00:17:04
Speaker 1: What the entire hell?
00:17:05
Speaker 2: Khadija has now hired her?
00:17:07
Speaker 1: I love this confrontation that you do with Jackie, and it's so physical. Does anyone think that... You're jealous of her. Are you jealous of her?
00:17:19
Speaker 2: Absolutely. I just thought about that looking at that clip that this is a lot to do with jealousy. I mean, not just space and possession, you know, and like you're taking up space, but also displacement.
00:17:30
Speaker 3: Yes.
00:17:31
Speaker 2: I was her best friend and now you are. And look at what she's doing to make sure that she accommodates you. What?
00:17:39
Speaker 1: Come on in. Eat my food. Stay with me. Here's a job.
00:17:42
Speaker 2: Here's a job. And you got my raisin bagel still.
00:17:47
Speaker 1: She's still smoking over that one.
00:17:48
Speaker 2: So that's a lot. You can't have, you know, Khadijah and my bagel. You know?
00:17:54
Speaker 1: Here's something that's interesting. Khadijah sees Max as powerful, smart, capable, doesn't need any help, independent. And maybe she sees Jackie as, Jackie needs a little help. She's here. She's still trying to figure herself out. Do you think that it's like sort of just, you know, alms for the poor.
00:18:15
Speaker 4: Oh, hell.
00:18:16
Speaker 2: You know, you think it's for sympathy or pity?
00:18:19
Speaker 1: Could it be sympathy? Or could it be like, oh, she ain't got herself together. Go ahead, girl. You can have this.
00:18:25
Speaker 2: I don't know. It doesn't seem like that. I think you just have different relationships with different friends and you operate differently. And maybe Max really never liked Jackie because again, she's unreliable. So I think somebody who could Ask from somebody for that much money. By the way, that's a lot of money when you're young. 200 and something dollars. In your college, yes. And then just disappear and then come back in your life and promise things and leave. She's obviously triggered probably from her own past. Who knows what made Max very independent and self-reliant. Often when you see those people, they're the people who have been disappointed the most.
00:19:00
Speaker 3: Of course. Of course.
00:19:01
Speaker 2: So this is obviously a space that.
00:19:03
Speaker 1: So this is triggering something for her.
00:19:05
Speaker 2: Exactly.
00:19:05
Speaker 1: Very likely.
00:19:06
Speaker 2: I think so.
00:19:07
Speaker 1: I want to know. I want to ask the friends watching the show, who's right here? Would you choose Max or would you choose Jackie in this case?
00:19:16
Speaker 2: Max.
00:19:17
Speaker 1: Or Jackie? Max or Jackie?
00:19:22
Speaker 3: Max.
00:19:23
Speaker 1: Enough said.
00:19:23
Speaker 3: Okay.
00:19:24
Speaker 2: Thank you. She isn't a stupid woman, just a pear-shaped one.
00:19:29
Speaker 1: So finally I had to sit her down one day and I said, April, April! You're a pear!
00:19:39
Speaker 2: Max, Jackie is like family to me. Now, I accept her for who she is.
00:19:44
Speaker 1: If you can't, that's your problem.
00:19:45
Speaker 2: Come on, Khadija, One of those alarms gonna go off. Come on. She's using you.
00:19:51
Speaker 1: See, that's just like you. You look for the negative. At least she can be supportive. Now that's what I did with April.
00:19:58
Speaker 2: Okay, that's epic. Epic scene.
00:20:00
Speaker 1: It's an epic scene.
00:20:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, between Khadija, Max, and Regine.
00:20:05
Speaker 1: Who inserts herself. Listen, the writing on that, the movement on that was just great.
00:20:10
Speaker 2: It was. It truly was. And Kim Fields played it pitch perfect.
00:20:14
Speaker 1: She did.
00:20:14
Speaker 2: She did. You know, and so did we. And Dana.
00:20:18
Speaker 1: Come on, Gord, and the alarm's going to go off. Come on, come on, come on.
00:20:21
Speaker 2: It's great. Dana is great because- Dana's in your face like this.
00:20:24
Speaker 1: It's great.
00:20:25
Speaker 2: But also, when Kim Field's character, Regine, interrupts, we wait respectfully. And then you move. We move right back into it because we're used to her.
00:20:36
Speaker 3: Right.
00:20:36
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying? What I like is that sort of comedic dance that they're doing. But what they're talking about is real because now Max is confronting Khadija saying, hey, look now. Don't you see? Wake up. She's playing you. And it ends, you know, not necessarily well because she doesn't convince Khadija that Jackie... Is a moocher.
00:20:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, no.
00:20:59
Speaker 2: Is a freeloader. Yeah.
00:20:59
Speaker 3: I'd like to introduce you to the newest member of our fish family.
00:21:04
Speaker 2: Yes, a fish so rare, so handsome, so manly that he can only be called by one name, Kyle Barker.
00:21:14
Speaker 1: Hey, Kyle, wake up, man.
00:21:17
Speaker 2: Wake up. What, what?
00:21:23
Speaker 1: They gone, Kyle. They gone.
00:21:27
Speaker 3: Overton, man.
00:21:28
Speaker 1: All right, look, Kyle Barker's still here, so there's got to be some explanation, right? Yeah, that's an explanation. He ate them all. Look at him, just licking his chop.
00:21:41
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, up in the guy's apartment, Kyle has now got the fish bug, and he's bought his own fish, Kyle Barker.
00:21:50
Speaker 1: Kyle Barker. Who names a fish their old name?
00:21:55
Speaker 2: That's nuts.
00:21:55
Speaker 1: He does.
00:21:56
Speaker 3: He does.
00:21:57
Speaker 1: And we then go and visit their apartment in the early morning where we get to see both of our beautiful, handsome men.
00:22:05
Speaker 3: Shirtless.
00:22:06
Speaker 2: Shirtless. Thank you.
00:22:07
Speaker 3: Come on.
00:22:07
Speaker 2: All greased up, looking good.
00:22:08
Speaker 1: Looking shiny and good.
00:22:10
Speaker 2: Oh, did they work out?
00:22:11
Speaker 1: I think, you know what I think? I don't know if they... They obviously did work out because there is some muscle definition. But I think they were both backstage doing some push-ups real quick just to give a nice pump. You do a push-up just before you do the scene, it pumps the blood right to the bicep.
00:22:24
Speaker 2: Oh, TC used to do at least 100 or 200. He be back there going at it.
00:22:29
Speaker 1: So we can maybe say they went to the gym or maybe they ate clean or maybe they did a little pump just before the show.
00:22:34
Speaker 2: Maybe we had better food and we didn't eat as many processed foods back in the day.
00:22:38
Speaker 1: Maybe we lotioned them up.
00:22:39
Speaker 2: But they were looking good.
00:22:40
Speaker 1: The makeup department.
00:22:41
Speaker 2: Looking good. So he's brought his fish, Kyle Barker, and has put it in the fish tank.
00:22:46
Speaker 1: The tank with all the other fish.
00:22:48
Speaker 3: All the fish.
00:22:49
Speaker 2: But then guess what? They wake up in the morning shirtless and Overton gets in there and sees that his fish are gone.
00:22:56
Speaker 1: They have been devoured by Kyle Barker. Excuse me, Khadijah, can I borrow $ 50?
00:23:01
Speaker 2: Are the words cash machine written across my forehead? What do you need $ 50 for?
00:23:08
Speaker 1: Well, I lent Jackie $ 200 yesterday, and according to my calculations, I only have $ 150 in my account. You borrow money from Sinclair?
00:23:17
Speaker 2: What, for needles and ink?
00:23:19
Speaker 1: I don't care what it was for.
00:23:23
Speaker 2: Look, I still have the money.
00:23:25
Speaker 1: I can give it back.
00:23:26
Speaker 2: Well, you will, but that's not even the point. How are you ever supposed to get where you're going if you change directions.
00:23:33
Speaker 1: Every two weeks?
00:23:34
Speaker 2: I know what you are saying, Khadijah. But when something feels right for me, I go for it.
00:23:40
Speaker 1: And I really believe that this is the thing. Jackie, I know you believe what you're saying. I'm just not so sure I do anymore.
00:23:52
Speaker 2: And I need to stop leaning on my friends.
00:23:54
Speaker 3: Yes.
00:23:56
Speaker 2: Besides... Tom, I paid a visit.
00:23:59
Speaker 1: To my parents. So now I think Jackie's a freeloader. Not only is she a freeloader, but she's aimless. She's confused. She's just flighty.
00:24:11
Speaker 2: She's flighty.
00:24:12
Speaker 1: And this is what Maxine knows about her all along.
00:24:15
Speaker 2: It's true. But Kim, you just coming to that conclusion?
00:24:17
Speaker 1: No, I thought it all along. I've been on your side. I've been on your side the whole time I've been. But now we see that she.
00:24:22
Speaker 2: Really is flighty.
00:24:23
Speaker 1: The truth. The truth comes out.
00:24:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, because guess what? Guess who she asked for that money from? So the money she asked for is $ 500 she didn't get, but she had already asked for money from Sinclair. And that brings out the protective nature of Khadija's character.
00:24:39
Speaker 1: That's the final straw.
00:24:40
Speaker 2: That's the final straw. She's like, nah. No. You're going to give her her money back.
00:24:43
Speaker 1: Because, you know, Khadija, Sinclair's vulnerable and gullible.
00:24:48
Speaker 2: For sure.
00:24:51
Speaker 1: And now I can't even cover my own bills, but I've bought into Jackie. Sinclair has bought into Jackie's dreams.
00:24:57
Speaker 2: That's hilarious. You gave her more than you had.
00:24:59
Speaker 1: I gave her more than I had.
00:25:00
Speaker 2: And that is also the beautiful thing about Sinclair. She said, okay, I'll get it from somewhere.
00:25:07
Speaker 1: And then realized like, oh, I don't have it and now I got to get it from Khadija. And there's a little uncomfortable moment when Jackie and Sinclair pass each other and I'm like, I don't even want to say to her, like, that really hurt me. That really messed me up. I gave you that money, and now that really hurt me. But Khadijah does the job. Like, what you're doing is really not right.
00:25:29
Speaker 2: Well, it's too little too late.
00:25:32
Speaker 3: Right.
00:25:32
Speaker 2: You know, that's tough love conversation. Do you think that Khadijah should have had it earlier?
00:25:36
Speaker 1: I think Khadijah didn't realize it. She was blinded by this friend who is, you know, charming and, you know, has believed in her dreams. And maybe we see that... having a friend believe in your dream from the beginning means so much to Khadijah that she's willing to be blinded to how many times she's been used by this friend.
00:25:57
Speaker 3: Right.
00:25:57
Speaker 1: And how she may be pushing Max off to favor this friend at this particular time. And so she finally sees the light.
00:26:07
Speaker 2: So was it done in a loving way? Did Khadijah have the conversation? And even though she was upset, Do you think she laid it on her nicely?
00:26:15
Speaker 1: I think she laid it on her. I think it was firm and true to people like this. They always find a way. So, yep, you're right.
00:26:24
Speaker 2: You're right.
00:26:25
Speaker 1: Time for me to... Go see my parents. And so we all know people like that who they will always find a way. They'll just go mooch someplace else. And this is probably how she's going to be the rest of her life. Oh, most definitely.
00:26:40
Speaker 2: I think that these uncomfortable friend conversations need a how-to guide. So what's the best approach?
00:26:48
Speaker 1: What would you suggest? Definitely face-to-face. Okay, definitely. Definitely without other people there, right? Alone, we got to be in a space that's one-to-one. Yeah. You know, we made a pact to each other when we started this process because we had like a little A little kerfluffle.
00:27:07
Speaker 2: For sure.
00:27:08
Speaker 1: And we decided no matter what, we're always going to come back to love. Right. Because the love is there and there's no reason for it to get like. So we made a pact.
00:27:16
Speaker 2: And we almost done it. We broke the pact a few times. A couple times. Is the pact still?
00:27:21
Speaker 1: No, the pact is still intact.
00:27:22
Speaker 2: Okay.
00:27:23
Speaker 1: The pact is still intact because we made a promise to each other.
00:27:26
Speaker 2: We did.
00:27:27
Speaker 1: And so I think to make a promise, you have to decide if the friendship really is worth it. So would it be worth it for her to keep this moocher on for forever and forever? I think it's worth it to keep the love with someone like you. I'm dedicated. No matter how much you drive me cuckoo or no matter how much I drive you cuckoo, I know that you're going to come back to love because hopefully I'm worth it. Because I'm worth it. Hopefully I'm worth it when someone is worth it.
00:27:51
Speaker 2: Hopefully you are worth it.
00:27:53
Speaker 1: I'm dying here.
00:27:54
Speaker 2: Yeah, dude.
00:28:01
Speaker 1: What about your allergies, though, man? Oh, it's cool, because you will be buying antihistamines.
00:28:05
Speaker 2: Okay.
00:28:18
Speaker 3: Once.
00:28:19
Speaker 1: Uh, I'm looking for a Khadijah James.
00:28:24
Speaker 2: I'm Khadijah James.
00:28:30
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no. I'm Khadijah James. Yeah, me too. Come on, have a seat.
00:28:35
Speaker 2: Have a seat.
00:28:36
Speaker 4: Come on.
00:28:49
Speaker 2: Okay. You know, fish, fish, fish. They make up. They get a puppy. Who cares? Arsenio Hall.
00:28:53
Speaker 1: Arsenio Hall. Arsenio Hall. Wait. We never see that puppy again.
00:28:57
Speaker 2: No, we never see that puppy again. It was a great Rottweiler or something.
00:29:00
Speaker 1: Right, right.
00:29:00
Speaker 2: Fabulous.
00:29:01
Speaker 1: And then there's Arsenio Hall.
00:29:02
Speaker 2: And then there's Arsenio Hall.
00:29:03
Speaker 1: Oh, and he was such a love to come on the show, and it was lovely to have him.
00:29:07
Speaker 2: That's what's up. And just looking just dapper and beautiful and amazing. He was a force of nature, and it was an Arsenio Hall era. There were a few eras. There were Spike Lee eras in Signing Hall. They bump up against each other. They do. The Wayans era, the Cosby era, the Will Smith era. There were all these. Again, amazing.
00:29:28
Speaker 1: Amazing.
00:29:29
Speaker 2: I mean, it's great to say we lived through it.
00:29:31
Speaker 1: We did. We were there. We watched it.
00:29:33
Speaker 2: Perhaps this is just my carcass talking, but I really am so happy that I got to see it up front and to say... that we saw these giants that really changed or tried to disrupt the industry.
00:29:47
Speaker 1: And did.
00:29:48
Speaker 2: And did. And they did.
00:29:49
Speaker 1: And did.
00:29:49
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:29:50
Speaker 1: So what happens in that scene, which is so sweet, and listen, you and I have had the benefit of being... I'm a person of note, and I'm sure you've been swept into a room that way with somebody changing their wig and primping. Somebody saying, take a picture. It's true. Someone just grabbing you in. Yeah, because Regine, when she saw- She's run upstairs and gets her good wig.
00:30:12
Speaker 2: She said, I'm DJ James. But then after that, her second thought is, let me go get a better wig on. Ran upstairs, comes down with a brand new wig and sit up there settling in.
00:30:21
Speaker 1: Right, and fluffing the wig the whole time for the photo.
00:30:24
Speaker 2: Kim Fields running upstairs like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Right. stomping up them damn stairs and then coming back down. The audience was cracking up.
00:30:32
Speaker 1: They loved it because there was so much eye candy to witness what was going on.
00:30:35
Speaker 3: Yes.
00:30:36
Speaker 2: I love those grace notes inside of things that are happening. Wonderful.
00:30:39
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:30:39
Speaker 1: That was good. And we both admit that we have a version of that picture. So he really did take pictures with us on the set and Yvette Lee Bowser and I think maybe the writers of this episode.
00:30:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, everybody's shoving their butts in there to get in that picture and he's in the middle all crowded up and everybody's like this.
00:30:56
Speaker 1: Everybody's loving on him.
00:30:57
Speaker 2: Yes, and then we had our own set photographer take the picture. It's a great thing. You know, he was gracious.
00:31:03
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:31:04
Speaker 2: He's amazing. The smile, right?
00:31:06
Speaker 4: Oh, please.
00:31:06
Speaker 2: He deploys it like boom.
00:31:08
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:31:09
Speaker 2: It's a weapon.
00:31:10
Speaker 1: Ooh.
00:31:11
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:31:12
Speaker 1: It's a beautiful weapon.
00:31:12
Speaker 2: Fear not get hit by it. Because I love Arsenio. He's a good guy.
00:31:18
Speaker 1: We need more like him. Okay, Erica.
00:31:22
Speaker 2: Talk to me.
00:31:23
Speaker 1: Black excellence.
00:31:24
Speaker 3: Go.
00:31:25
Speaker 1: I'll start. Living single.
00:31:27
Speaker 2: Okay. Our beautiful melanin in all shades. Family cookouts, hip hop, R & B, basically every genre of music.
00:31:34
Speaker 3: Okay.
00:31:35
Speaker 1: You know how we invented all them line dances and people know the songs and they know how to do all the line dances. How do we do that? Black excellence.
00:31:41
Speaker 3: I don't know.
00:31:41
Speaker 2: And our hair. Our hair, the way it grows from our scalp, we can do so much. Natural, locks, cornrows.
00:31:47
Speaker 1: And it fades. Exactly. See, black excellence has layers. You see what I did there?
00:31:53
Speaker 2: I saw it.
00:31:54
Speaker 1: And Lexus, well, they understand and deliver the luxury that we deserve.
00:31:58
Speaker 2: Because when you embody excellence, you need a ride that moves like you do. Smooth, smart, and impossible to ignore.
00:32:06
Speaker 1: From the moment that you touch that wheel, Alexa says, I didn't just show up, I showed out.
00:32:11
Speaker 2: No, it's more than a car. It represents how you walk through the world. Intentional, grounded, fly, without even trying.
00:32:18
Speaker 1: Because that's what Alexis does. It makes you feel amazing.
00:32:21
Speaker 2: And look good, too.
00:32:23
Speaker 1: Well, then there's that. This show is brought to you by BetterHelp. You know, October 10th is World Mental Health Day. And this year, BetterHelp is shining a well-deserved light on the people who hold us down, the therapists. Now, look, I've had therapy. And let me tell you, there was one session where my therapist said something so simple... but it cracked me wide open. She said, you don't have to earn rest. Well, I got to tell you that that stayed with me. So if you're struggling or if something's just keeping you up at night, talking to someone can help. And BetterHelp makes it just so easy. With over 30,000 therapists and more than 5 million people served, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform for a reason. If you're ready to find the right therapist for you, well, BetterHelp can help you start that journey. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash reliving. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash reliving. All right, y'all, welcome to The Reverb, brought to you by Lexus. Y'all know this is where we reflect and connect and talk about how the episode's themes still echo in the culture. Because just like our stories, Lexus keeps raising the bar. That's the standard of amazing.
00:33:47
Speaker 2: So what are the ingredients for a healthy friendship?
00:33:51
Speaker 1: Truth, honesty, and the American way. No, honesty.
00:33:56
Speaker 2: What propaganda book you looking at? That's ridiculous.
00:34:00
Speaker 1: I think shared values is nice.
00:34:02
Speaker 2: Yes.
00:34:03
Speaker 1: Right?
00:34:04
Speaker 2: Yes.
00:34:05
Speaker 1: Accountability.
00:34:06
Speaker 2: Growth. Because if you, yeah, we have to grow together.
00:34:10
Speaker 1: You do.
00:34:11
Speaker 2: In some way. Right.
00:34:12
Speaker 1: In some way.
00:34:13
Speaker 2: Maybe not on the same road. In some way. Yeah, it's hard to be friends with people who don't grow. Then you go, you know, I've outgrown you. Those people kind of fall off.
00:34:19
Speaker 1: They do.
00:34:20
Speaker 2: They do. Yeah, yeah. Quality time.
00:34:22
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, yeah. Wow.
00:34:23
Speaker 2: Yeah. That's hard.
00:34:24
Speaker 1: I have friends that I don't get to see very often, but when we do, it's rich. It's, you know... intense and beautiful.
00:34:32
Speaker 2: Those two hours really rock.
00:34:33
Speaker 1: Well, my cup gets filled. I have friends that my cup gets filled.
00:34:37
Speaker 2: Just with a little bit of time. And a little trust. Trust.
00:34:40
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
00:34:41
Speaker 2: Trust. If you want to be friends with somebody, they got to trust you.
00:34:43
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:34:44
Speaker 2: Yeah. I love that. Emotional, mental, financial support sometimes.
00:34:48
Speaker 1: Sometimes.
00:34:49
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think you need support.
00:34:52
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:34:52
Speaker 2: And people are willing to do it.
00:34:54
Speaker 1: Oh, and this one's big. Listening. Listening. Listening, not just telling or fixing.
00:34:58
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:34:58
Speaker 3: I know.
00:34:59
Speaker 1: I've been known to, well, what can we do? How can we fix that?
00:35:02
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:35:02
Speaker 1: That's if someone, you know, is open to it. And that's another one, too, is asking, would you like me just to listen? Like, this is a really great trust exercise to go, do you want me just to listen or do you want me to help you find a solution?
00:35:14
Speaker 2: For sure.
00:35:15
Speaker 1: And you get to, you must do what that friend has deemed necessary at this moment.
00:35:20
Speaker 2: Absolutely. Now, we've been friends now for 32 years. 32 years, Erica.
00:35:24
Speaker 1: Wow.
00:35:26
Speaker 2: I know. Oh, Kim.
00:35:29
Speaker 1: 32 years.
00:35:29
Speaker 2: Wow. Let's discuss it.
00:35:31
Speaker 1: Let's talk about it.
00:35:32
Speaker 2: It's 32 years. We have common ground.
00:35:34
Speaker 1: We do.
00:35:34
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:35:35
Speaker 2: We do. Both of our mothers are educators. Yeah. And both our fathers were ministers. Yeah.
00:35:41
Speaker 1: And my father didn't become a minister until I was much older. So he was much older. But I love that we have that in common. Yeah.
00:35:47
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:35:47
Speaker 1: That's amazing. Yeah. That's beautiful.
00:35:49
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:35:50
Speaker 1: And your mother and my mother are similar in their... Their kindness and their.
00:35:56
Speaker 2: Formality.
00:35:56
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:35:57
Speaker 2: They have a certain way about them.
00:36:00
Speaker 1: Lady-likeness.
00:36:00
Speaker 2: That makes you sit a little straighter.
00:36:02
Speaker 1: Absolutely.
00:36:02
Speaker 4: Absolutely.
00:36:03
Speaker 1: Although my mother will tell a dirty joke. I don't think I would imagine your mother.
00:36:06
Speaker 2: Ever telling a dirty joke.
00:36:07
Speaker 1: No, Miss Sammy would not be telling a dirty joke.
00:36:08
Speaker 2: My mother told me a dirty joke last night.
00:36:09
Speaker 1: She'll laugh at a dirty joke. That's all you need.
00:36:11
Speaker 2: That's all you need. If Bernice tells it. If Miss Sammy will do it if Bernice tells it. She just adores your mother.
00:36:15
Speaker 1: Yeah, and my mother adores your mother too.
00:36:17
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:36:17
Speaker 1: And your mother's protected her one time. I don't know if you know this story. My mother's sisters, you met them. They loved you. Were very overbearing at times because she's the baby sister and they would talk over her and One time your mother, they were all visiting and your mother said, well, let's let Bernice tell her story now. And my mother said, I was so happy that Sammy, she came and she took my side, Kim. It was wonderful. She saw what was going on and she came and she took, she let Bernice talk. And that was so kind for.
00:36:47
Speaker 2: Her to do so. Oh, I love it. I love it. Well, you know, they do love each other, but we love each other.
00:36:52
Speaker 1: We do.
00:36:52
Speaker 2: And we've had a long time to be together outside of living single, which is nice. We don't always get our quality time.
00:37:01
Speaker 1: We don't. We don't. And since the pandemic, I haven't had quality time with you at all.
00:37:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, you kind of ghosted me.
00:37:08
Speaker 1: I did.
00:37:08
Speaker 2: Did you ghost me?
00:37:09
Speaker 1: I was laid up under Dr. E.J.
00:37:10
Speaker 2: Johnson.
00:37:11
Speaker 1: Like we became, we did pandemic. Well, not laid up. I didn't mean like that. I pandemicked with E.J. And so we were.
00:37:19
Speaker 2: Okay, well, I know why now. You laid up underneath somebody, especially a doctor. Who am I? Okay.
00:37:26
Speaker 1: But you know what?
00:37:26
Speaker 2: But we keep in touch, and the love is there, and we were very close on set. Right. And that wasn't always the case. No.
00:37:33
Speaker 1: Well, I always, can I just tell the story? I love telling the story of how I was maid of honor at your wedding and you were maid of honor at my wedding and neither one of us are married to those men anymore. Oh, God. God, we're the witches of Eastwick. You're bad luck. Maybe so, maybe so. So, yeah, but it wasn't always that way. We've had our moments.
00:37:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, we've had our moments. Listen, life with you ain't been no crystal stairs. Ooh. And the lighting seems to think it's true.
00:38:07
Speaker 1: The lighting has gone down.
00:38:08
Speaker 2: Yes, it's dramatic. The lighting. Well, Kim, where do you think we could have done better, and how have we had our disagreements?
00:38:17
Speaker 1: I think one of the things that we have in common that also may cause tension between us is I think we're both a little stubborn. I think that when you have an idea in your head, then that's the way it should be. And when I have an idea in my head, that's the way it should be. So there is a little bit of that, although there is room to flow. And we sometimes, usually it's me giving up because you've.
00:38:40
Speaker 2: Put your- That's hilarious.
00:38:43
Speaker 1: Oh, it's usually me going, okay, Erica, whatever you say.
00:38:46
Speaker 2: No, okay, so now you're the victim?
00:38:48
Speaker 1: I didn't say I was the victim. I just said that often you're so, you put your stake in the ground. I just go, okay, Erica, whatever you say.
00:38:55
Speaker 2: Kim, you know you lie. You know you lie. You know you lie.
00:38:59
Speaker 1: I think more often than not, I'm the one who goes.
00:39:01
Speaker 2: You're a historian. That's the truth.
00:39:03
Speaker 1: Okay, go ahead.
00:39:04
Speaker 2: I give in so much to you. Really? Oh, because you a hard rock. She looks like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. But I tell you, she put them manson lamps on you. Next thing you know, you got to give her what she wants because she just digs in. She's very stubborn like a child. You know what I'm saying? I want this. I want that. And the next thing you know, you got to give it to her. She relents a bit and then you see an opening and then perhaps there's like, you know, a calming down. And then she's ready to negotiate.
00:39:35
Speaker 1: Okay, Erica, whatever you say. See, I did it just there. I think we both have done. Well, I don't think we could be friends as long as we have been if there wasn't a give and a take. In that way.
00:39:47
Speaker 2: There's definitely a give and a take. And I think we are both stubborn. I like to think that we also know, and as Amber has pointed this out, that we know how to repair.
00:39:56
Speaker 1: Yes, we do. Well, we made this pact. Okay, so let me start by saying this. I remember the day that I instantly fell in love. I was like, I love this girl. She's so funny. She's so cool. It was on the set of Living Single. And I was like, I love her. She's great because you're you. And so I immediately was like, I like her. I'm going to be friends with her. And I always tease you about this first conversation. We made a pact early on, and you set the tone of the relationship by cursing me out. What? Yeah, you did. You did. You didn't really curse me out, but you put a boundary up that was helpful. So I had been gossiping about someone. You remember the story? I remember walking across the lot, and I just was carrying on and you stopped me. And it's important to note that I am what, like seven years older than you, eight years older. So here's someone who's 24 and I'm 31. Here's a young girl telling me, Kim, here's the thing. I like you. I really do. And I think that we're going to be working together a long time. And this is not going to be able to, we're not going to be able to sustain this. I understand that you want to vent and you want to say what you have to say, but we're not going to be able to sustain working together with you constantly coming at me with these stories, please. You're going to have to find another outlet. And I was like, oh my goodness, Erica, I'm so sorry. Have I offended you? I'm so, I'm a grown woman. I'm so sorry, Erica, you're right. And I really should, you know, do the work on myself and you, but you'd lay down a boundary. And I didn't have any friends that had any boundaries, but you did. And I appreciate it.
00:41:40
Speaker 2: Do you remember that?
00:41:41
Speaker 1: I do remember that. What's your version of the story? I do remember that.
00:41:43
Speaker 2: But I also remember getting thrown out your trailer.
00:41:45
Speaker 1: Erica, leave.
00:41:47
Speaker 2: In that very dramatic.
00:41:48
Speaker 3: Way, leave.
00:41:50
Speaker 1: Please leave now.
00:41:51
Speaker 2: Please leave now.
00:41:52
Speaker 1: Yeah, we had a fight.
00:41:52
Speaker 2: And I was like, you're throwing me out? And you said, leave.
00:41:57
Speaker 1: Oh, Erica, I did.
00:41:58
Speaker 2: And I left your trailer.
00:42:00
Speaker 1: You did.
00:42:01
Speaker 2: And I didn't know what to do because, of course, I should leave your trailer. You say go. And I walked. Out of that trailer, those three steps down with my head up. Out of that janky trailer.
00:42:13
Speaker 1: Janky trailer.
00:42:15
Speaker 2: Walked to mine and then called my then husband and cried and said, Kim, just threw me out of her trailer. Oh, what do you mean, Erica? It's all right. She didn't know.
00:42:28
Speaker 1: I was embarrassed.
00:42:29
Speaker 2: Plus, I thought since you threw me out of your set home that I would never be able to return. And I don't even think I ever did. I think I was so traumatized I never went in there again. Did you notice?
00:42:43
Speaker 1: I didn't notice. But we were fine after that.
00:42:47
Speaker 2: I never was invited back. It was.
00:42:49
Speaker 1: Oh, come on, that's not true.
00:42:51
Speaker 2: This was well into it. Yeah, that's why I said, it ain't been no crystal stairs with you.
00:42:56
Speaker 1: Do you know that I called my mother that day, that same moment? I'm grown. Erica and I just... Had a fight. Oh, Kim, you and precious Erica, because that's what she calls you, precious Erica. You and precious Erica, you'll make up. Every friendship has a little moment like this, but you all will be okay. I don't know. She makes me so mad. She makes me so mad. Didn't even ask what was said or done. You came back to my trailer. You came to my home at least.
00:43:24
Speaker 2: I'm sure you've- I did come to your home, but never to that trailer. Really? Oh, it was, you know, that's the dark side. I don't want to go there. It's like going to Mordor.
00:43:34
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
00:43:34
Speaker 2: Frodo can never go to Mordor.
00:43:36
Speaker 3: I know.
00:43:37
Speaker 2: That's where Gollum lives. Okay. They get it.
00:43:42
Speaker 1: They get it.
00:43:42
Speaker 2: You know, here's the beautiful part. I do think repair is important.
00:43:45
Speaker 3: Oh.
00:43:46
Speaker 2: And I do think we have our disagreements. And sometimes I think you ascribe things to me that I don't think are really there. I think they're of your own making. And I'm sure I do it to you. I'm just saying. Okay. I think you do. You see me in a way that can be, I don't think that's what's happening.
00:44:02
Speaker 1: That's possible. I'll see. I can share. Here's what I think it is. I think we have a different way. So you can be, you know, sometimes you'll say things and you don't sugarcoat them. You're just like, it is what it is. Yeah.
00:44:19
Speaker 2: Okay.
00:44:19
Speaker 1: All the time. I was trying to be kind. All the time. You're very, all the time. You're like, and that's like, oh, ouch. And I have to realize that it's not coming out of meanness or the shrew that I think you are in that moment. It's not really that. It's really that that's just your way. You really feel strongly. In fact, I would tell you, it's funny. Last night, it happened on a call that we did last night and I had to go, oh, that shouldn't mean nothing by that. So I said, I'm going to have to get off around 8.15. And you said, okay, okay. Oh, you can leave whenever you want. And I was like, how dare you tell me I can leave? I know I can leave whenever I want. I was like, Oh, there's no need. You just would say, you can leave whenever you want.
00:45:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, 8-15, 8, meaning you don't have to be here if you need it somewhere else.
00:45:05
Speaker 1: Right, but there's a tone that you sometimes have.
00:45:07
Speaker 2: So I'm right that I think sometimes you see things in what I say differently than how I mean them.
00:45:13
Speaker 4: Oh, yes.
00:45:14
Speaker 1: But here's something else we have in common. We both like to be right.
00:45:17
Speaker 2: That's true.
00:45:18
Speaker 1: That's a common thing.
00:45:18
Speaker 2: The difference is I'm usually right.
00:45:22
Speaker 1: That remains to be seen. What about the pact?
00:45:25
Speaker 2: You're right. The pact. The pact. What is the pact?
00:45:29
Speaker 1: The pact is to always return to love. No matter what. Remember the love.
00:45:34
Speaker 2: Remember the love. Remember the love. It's hard, man.
00:45:38
Speaker 1: It's a moment. It's a moment.
00:45:39
Speaker 2: It is. I don't always like you, but I always love you.
00:45:43
Speaker 1: Same here. This has been an interesting journey because we're reconnecting and I'm relearning you. I'm learning new things. And like, you know, you've been off living your life over here and it's like, oh, Erica's back again. Oh, that's different. But is it different or is it just more of growth, more of the same, more to love, more to love?
00:46:06
Speaker 2: I think so, just in a different context. And, you know, and same with you because you've been off, you know, who knows what type of spells you've been casting. Hexes, you've been throwing my way.
00:46:19
Speaker 1: A love spell your way. It's always to do no harm.
00:46:25
Speaker 2: Thank you, witchy poo. Listen, we need the light again.
00:46:30
Speaker 1: We need the light.
00:46:31
Speaker 2: We can come into the light.
00:46:32
Speaker 1: The light is always here with us.
00:46:34
Speaker 2: You know that, don't you?
00:46:35
Speaker 1: The light is always available to you at any given time. Maybe now.
00:46:57
Speaker 2: True Blue.
00:46:58
Speaker 1: True Blue is the segment where we hear from our beautiful friends. Erica and I will answer anything that you have. And Amber has the question. Amber, who do we have?
00:47:09
Speaker 4: Hey, so we have Neona M., and she's from Orlando, Florida. And she says, Hi, Erica and Kim. First off, thank you both for creating a space to revisit Living Single with such heart, humor, and honesty. The show meant so much to me growing up, and now hearing your stories and reflections feels like a beautiful reunion with old friends. She asks, if Living Single had continued for a few more seasons, what storyline would you have wanted for your character? something the writers never explored but you secretly hoped for. Also, as a bonus, who would you have cast as a love interest or major guest star if you had full creative control?
00:47:52
Speaker 1: I'm going to cheat by saying that it was actually already written that a dream of Sinclair would be to have twins, Sincloverton and Overclare. And so I would want to see that fully realized and actually a spinoff with Sinclair Overton and the twins, a boy and a girl, a boy and a girl. That would be very nice. I don't know who those young actors would be, but that would have been wonderful.
00:48:22
Speaker 2: Wow. I love that. And who do you want cast that you wish you?
00:48:26
Speaker 1: I think Idris Elba would come on the show and try to steal me away from Overton.
00:48:30
Speaker 2: He wasn't even born.
00:48:30
Speaker 1: I know, but it's today. It's today.
00:48:33
Speaker 2: You're right.
00:48:33
Speaker 3: All right.
00:48:33
Speaker 1: I can't think of anybody else.
00:48:35
Speaker 2: Well, you're going to laugh, but let me explain this real quick. I would want the storyline where Max goes to visit her parents and they're dead. They're in the graveyard. Because that's what I pitched.
00:48:45
Speaker 1: That's what you always wanted.
00:48:47
Speaker 2: Why I pitched Yvette that, man. Oh, I didn't pitch it. She said, we're going to bring your... mother on. And I said, you can't, she's dead.
00:48:55
Speaker 1: In your mind, she was dead. She was. But in the mind of Yvette Lee Bowser, who was your mother?
00:49:00
Speaker 2: The great CCH Pounder. That's who they cast. She cites that. She always laughs at that. But I actually thought that was going to be funny. Plus, I have... So when you're an actor, they encourage you to build backstories. And I'm an actor that'll build a backstory when there is none. And for many years, I didn't have one. You guys all had your parents. And I actually thought, I don't want the drama of parents. They're dead probably. And I just love that. And so maybe she has a routine where she's never gone and suddenly she goes to visit them because she has unfinished business or something. So I thought it would be funny. But it wasn't like I was... doing it because I really didn't want to deal with the storyline. That's the truth. But I also thought it would be cool.
00:49:46
Speaker 1: It would be interesting to see why she is the way she is. Maybe she lives full out because her parents are no longer here.
00:49:54
Speaker 2: Right. And you can't wait until people invent things for you. You got to live. You got to live. Yeah. So I think that would be great if Max's parents, no shade to the great CCH Pounder. I'm glad that happened that way. But I thought they'd be dead. And the other thing is, I don't know who I'd want, but I don't think they'd necessarily be an actor. I would have liked a performer, and I would have loved, loved for Michael Jackson to come out. I don't even care how. I'm sorry. Shamone. Can Michael come on?
00:50:24
Speaker 1: Can Michael come on?
00:50:25
Speaker 2: Shamone.
00:50:26
Speaker 1: And he might, because didn't he do Men in Black 2? Like, he loved that movie so much that he asked if he could be a character on that movie. Are you driving me? Mm-hmm.
00:50:36
Speaker 2: Wow.
00:50:36
Speaker 1: So he would come on the show. Of course, he would have come on the show.
00:50:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would have been asking for people that I admired. You know, Mandela. Can you imagine Mandela came on Living Singles? Could we make him a professor or something?
00:50:48
Speaker 1: But we have to understand.
00:50:50
Speaker 2: Right. He could play my father.
00:50:52
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
00:50:52
Speaker 2: He could play Max's father.
00:50:54
Speaker 1: Okay. But you just said your father's dead.
00:50:56
Speaker 2: If he's Mandela, he's alive. Okay.
00:50:57
Speaker 1: Okay. Got you. Oh, my God. Resurrected.
00:50:59
Speaker 2: I would love that.
00:51:00
Speaker 1: I should not have done the voice. Was that wrong?
00:51:02
Speaker 3: No.
00:51:03
Speaker 2: That's how he talked.
00:51:03
Speaker 1: That's how he talked.
00:51:05
Speaker 2: Yeah. He had a tenor voice that was kind of choked up.
00:51:08
Speaker 1: And he was in his throat, right?
00:51:09
Speaker 3: Yes.
00:51:09
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:51:09
Speaker 2: We must take these things that we've learned. And we must go forward. I know what I'm doing. I want to be connected to Mandela. Okay. And we are.
00:51:22
Speaker 1: And we are.
00:51:23
Speaker 2: Because we all come from the motherland.
00:51:25
Speaker 1: Indeed. Okay.
00:51:27
Speaker 2: Did we answer your question? Probably not. But listen, thanks for sending it in. And if you have a question.
00:51:32
Speaker 1: We may get as silly on your answer as we did with this one too.
00:51:36
Speaker 2: Send your questions and comments to reliving single podcast. at heartbeat.com.
00:51:42
Speaker 1: Listen, you stayed here this whole time. Tell your friends to watch the show and watch the whole episode because you never know what's going to happen.
00:51:48
Speaker 2: Yes, you never know what's going to happen. Watch all the way through. Put it on in the background and enjoy yourself. Yeah, because it matters, actually. And tell a friend, subscribe, like, all of those good things. All those things.
00:51:59
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:51:59
Speaker 1: I'm glad I'm friends with you, Erica.
00:52:01
Speaker 2: I'm glad I'm friends with you, too. What's the moral of this story?
00:52:03
Speaker 1: The moral of this story is friendship can endure if you choose it powerfully. and make the pact to do so.
00:52:14
Speaker 2: Yeah. Friends matter.
00:52:15
Speaker 1: Friends matter.
00:52:18
Speaker 2: I gotta... I'm trying to hug you.
00:52:22
Speaker 1: Notice how we both hugged out so we could get our camera.
00:52:29
Speaker 2: Reliving Single is hosted by me, Erica Alexander.
00:52:32
Speaker 1: And me, Kim Coles.
00:52:34
Speaker 2: Reliving Single is a production of Heartbeat in association with Color Farm Media.
00:52:38
Speaker 1: Executive produced by Kevin Hart, Jeff Clannigan, Eric Eddings, Leslie Guam, Erica Alexander, and Ben Arnon.
00:52:46
Speaker 2: The show is produced by Kim Coles.
00:52:48
Speaker 1: Amber Watson is our senior producer.
00:52:51
Speaker 2: Our associate producer is Kenny Jackson.
00:52:53
Speaker 1: Our other associate producer is Elektra Tellesford.
00:52:56
Speaker 2: Our sound engineers are Eric Hicks and Cedric Wilson.
00:53:00
Speaker 1: Production supervision by Razak Boykin and Brett Calkins.
00:53:05
Speaker 2: Additional production support from Alex Atkins, and Z Taylor.
00:53:09
Speaker 1: Special thanks to BK Augustine and Dr. EJ Johnson.
