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Speaker 1: What's up, everybody? Thank you, thank you, thank you.
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Speaker 2: Y'all have just tuned in to Real Lives on Real Radio 104.1.
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Speaker 1: I am your host tonight, Mr.
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Speaker 2: James John, and we got a great, fantastic, wonderful show for all you out there.
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Speaker 1: We are your nightcap of comedy.
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Speaker 2: I am joined in virtual studio by our sponsor, first off, from Kauffman & Lynn.
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Speaker 1: They are your personal injury attorneys.
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Speaker 2: They've been representing and winning for the good people of Orlando for over 30 years. Not only do they have a website, whenyouneedus.com, go there for more information, but they got a special phone number that my man Ken Miller, a.k.a.
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Speaker 1: These, will tell you the number you can call right now.
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Speaker 3: It's 407-500-JEFF, 407-500-JEFF. Car accident, slip or fall, kick in the ass. Call our dog, Jeffrey Kaufman.
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Speaker 1: That's right. That voice you're hearing is Ken Miller, a.k.a. The Z's today.
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Speaker 2: He'll tell you what that means in a second. And we're talking about Jeff Kaufman in the building with us today. Now, Jeff, I did not call you before you're here for somebody else. I did not call you the other day. But I was doing a comedy show. minding my own business inside Stamper's in Palm Harbor. A woman got in a car, wasn't her car, took the keys off of the bar of a man driving a big body BMW.
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Speaker 1: It was a 2023 model.
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Speaker 2: She was parked facing the building, did a half moon in reverse and took out five cars with her. One of those cars was a blue Civic driven by a happy, maybe diabetic man named James Yon, who was on stage.
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Speaker 1: Performing at said club at the moment. Yeah, took it right out. Bumper, gone. It looked like me. No ass. Gone. What did you find out? When the waitress said, James, I said, what?
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Speaker 2: Hey, some lady got in an accident out here. Now, it's right on the highway, so I'm thinking, ooh, on the highway? And that's what I said out loud. She goes, no, in the parking lot. She took out a bunch of cars, and I'm like, I'm parked.
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Speaker 1: In the parking lot.
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Speaker 2: Let me take my black ass out there and see if she hit me. And I'm thinking in my head, couldn't be me. Nah, I mean, I'm like, bro, I'm like outcast. I'm like, nah, nah, couldn't be me. Not me.
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Speaker 1: When outside, it was all me. All eyes on me. Bro! How did she get your car the worst out of all of them? Because I'm James. She hit one car. Were you on stage?
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Speaker 3: I was on stage.
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Speaker 1: Could you imagine you're halfway in a routine? Hey, James. Crazy white woman hit your car.
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Speaker 2: Bro, let me tell you. She took somebody's car and did that. When she half mooned, she ended up perfectly in a parking spot, right? there was a car in that parking spot before she got there. So that car ended up in the building.
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Speaker 4: How did, how did, whose keys, she just stole a pair of keys and guessed what car it was?
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Speaker 1: She knew the guy. She only had two drinks, according to the bartender.
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Speaker 3: Oh, no way. You know, that's what they always say. I had two.
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Speaker 1: I deuced it.
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Speaker 4: You didn't deuce it. What I'm telling you is they went back and checked her bill.
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Speaker 1: The owner did. No, the manager.
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Speaker 2: And she had two drinks. But what we think is either she pre-game won.
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Speaker 1: People bought it.
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Speaker 2: Or this woman had something else in her system besides alcohol.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: And somebody might have bought her some drinks, too. Maybe. Maybe.
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Speaker 4: The dude with the nice car probably, you know, she knew who he was.
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Speaker 1: He had money, too.
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Speaker 2: Everybody knows this dude because his family owns a bunch of restaurants in the area.
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Speaker 1: All I know is that's a good thing because he got good insurance.
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Speaker 2: To quote Smokey from Friday, your car just got effed up.
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Speaker 1: Oh, you want to pick that? But they took her away in an ambulance.
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Speaker 2: And I'm pretty sure when she woke up in the hospital, she was handcuffed to that bed.
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Speaker 1: Yep. She was handcuffed to that bed. They took her blood. I promise you this. That's what I said.
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Speaker 2: I said, Jeff has told me when you get an accident like this and they take you away, they're going to do a blood test.
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Speaker 1: They're going to do a blood test. They're going to tell you everything in your system at that time. They will know everything. Weed, you name it.
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Speaker 3: Man, you 3% Caucasian? How y'all know?
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Speaker 1: We checking your blood, baby. Hey, what you do? 23andMe. You got two kids that you don't know about. Yeah, we checking your blood. They come like, you 3% Caucasian? How you know?
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Speaker 3: I saw how small your penis was, B. Oh, damn. Hey, we know you got two futons and an Ikea. We know everything about you. They know everything about you, bro. I didn't call you Jeff. That's why I was going to ask Jeff. So in that moment.
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Speaker 1: It's a property damage.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: You get that guy's insurance, too, because he let her take him.
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Speaker 2: Bro, that's what the cops said. The cops not only gave me, because the cops gave us a report. It has his info, his insurance, and her. Bro, so you can be sitting there minding your own business, Ken, doing the right thing. Somebody could take you.
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Speaker 1: No, he. Hold on. Hold on, James. How about I call this one out? Okay.
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Speaker 4: She took his keys. Because she knows him in a specific type of way.
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Speaker 1: Maybe.
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Speaker 4: I've never had a woman go just arbitrarily know what my keys look like.
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Speaker 1: She knows him in a biblical sense. You know what I mean?
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: That's how they call it.
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Speaker 4: He probably made a choice one evening, and she's still a little salty about it.
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Speaker 1: Bro, can I tell y'all? And my daddy used to tell me this. What happened to the car, though? Did you have to get the car towed and everything?
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Speaker 2: My car is still in Palm Harbor in a collision place. They just hit me with an email today. They're fixing it. And people thought I was going to be so angry.
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Speaker 4: Who's paying for it? You got to pay the deductible or is he covering it? I got to pay the deductible so far. Because my insurance said, first, you're going to pay the deductible. Then we're going after him to get your deductible back.
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Speaker 1: That's what I did. Shut up. What was he driving? Shut up. What was he driving? Big body BMW 2023. Okay. Do me a favor. If he denies it. He talked to everybody. He admitted to cops. Your deductible is probably like a K, right? No, mine's $ 250.
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Speaker 2: I don't pay cheap insurance. I tell everybody this. I do not pay. I don't got the general. I don't got the colonel.
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Speaker 4: I ain't got the lieutenant.
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Speaker 1: I ain't got the lieutenant Dan. I pay full coverage for insurance.
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Speaker 2: I tell every one of my kids, get extended warranty on your car too.
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Speaker 1: I don't play. You get tired. Some people don't do it. I get tire insurance.
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Speaker 4: I don't screw around because replacing tires is ridiculously expensive.
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Speaker 1: You ain't lying.
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Speaker 2: Oh, because you got a Jeep. Guess what they gave me? Guess what they gave me to drive?
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Speaker 1: Look at you whipping around like you're playing Mario Kart. I got a Rubicon. Oh, hey.
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Speaker 4: Have you ever had to go see people you went to high school with and you go, man, they look old?
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Speaker 3: Oh, hell yeah.
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Speaker 1: I went to a reunion.
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Speaker 3: Hey, time out, man.
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Speaker 1: How the hell you go to that? What do you mean?
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Speaker 3: We're talking about Jay's car accident and you went to.
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Speaker 1: It was getting fixed. It's getting fixed. It's solved. He wasn't in the car. That segway was wild, bro.
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Speaker 4: We're going to go after the rich dude.
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Speaker 3: I got a Rubicon. White people be getting old, don't they? He's happier now. I was this close to saying I was in that car.
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Speaker 1: I jumped in it. He's Ooh, my neck. Hey, kid. I said, me, him, Miguel.
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Speaker 3: Man, we was recording. We was on a stream yard. We was on a stream yard in the car.
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Speaker 1: We came off tour to get that backseat. We doing one of these.
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Speaker 2: Then the lady got out of her car, came in my car, pulled me out, and kicked me in my ass, kid.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, man, for real.
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Speaker 1: I'm trying to get paid out here. That dude, Jeff Segway. Wow, bro.
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Speaker 4: No, because I had a weird one, man. I just had a weird, the weekend was weird. I had to go see people I haven't seen in 35 years. And I walked into the room and people were coming up to me. And I said to the Russian, I said, do I look this old? And she goes, are they your age?
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Speaker 1: Let me tell you.
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Speaker 4: And I said, I said, yeah, they're my age. She goes, no, they can't be your age. I said, yeah, they're three, four years younger than me.
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Speaker 2: I've gone back to my old neighborhood and people walk up to me.
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Speaker 1: Hey, James. Hey, hey, man. Like they look familiar.
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Speaker 2: Some people don't age as well when they leave high school, man.
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Speaker 1: Like some of the.
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Speaker 2: The high school heroes used to know, man. They didn't go on to the greatness that we thought they would. Sometimes life be lifin' and they don't look the best, man.
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Speaker 1: I miss some of them, but I was looking at some going, God.
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Speaker 4: Some of them rough, though. Some people never age. Sometimes they don't age. I can't go to events outside either. I went to the Florida State game.
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Speaker 1: It was Africa.
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Speaker 4: I stepped out there, and we were there for like a quarter. And I said to the Russian, we got to go downstairs and get some water. And we went downstairs.
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Speaker 1: I said, we ain't coming back.
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Speaker 2: Well, you guys are sports guys. Real quick, let me ask. Do y'all go to outside events for sports, though?
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Speaker 1: Like, you watch a game? I normally don't.
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Speaker 4: I normally go to inside things. Like, I go to the Magic Games. I'll go to the Soul. I'll go to hockey inside. Baseball inside stadiums. I try to avoid outside.
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Speaker 1: But most football games. NFL, they're outside. Unless they're in a dome. Yeah, unless they're playing in a dome or something.
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Speaker 2: I just can't imagine it being comfortable. It's so humid everywhere, man, especially in Florida, man. But hey, let me ask you a quick sports question because I just learned this today. Not learned this today, but I realized that football season is starting again. Aren't the Jaguars from Jacksonville playing in Orlando, and they've already started playing here?
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Speaker 3: Next year.
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Speaker 1: Not next year. Oh, next year.
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Speaker 3: Not this year.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. They're getting something built, a stadium. Yeah, but they're playing good this year.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, they're playing good this year. It's the same stadium, and they're upgrading it. They're like a billion dollars in upgrades to that stadium.
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Speaker 1: Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Just to upgrade a stadium is a billion dollars? You know, a new stadium is three billion.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, go look at it. It's going to be amazing.
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Speaker 1: Bro, Not a new one. You said upgrades.
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Speaker 3: Dude, these new football stadiums are amazing, bro. I mean, you're dropping a billion on them. That's two or three seasons for a football team.
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Speaker 1: If that's crazy, bro.
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Speaker 4: I think the number was 250 million from TV rights alone.
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Speaker 1: Yes. That's what they get at the beginning of the season. 250. Even the Browns can't. 250 million. But the new one, you want to see a new stadium? The Browns are 3-1. 3-1! Yes! Somebody told me that!
00:11:20
Speaker 3: Somebody said Deshaun Watson getting massages again.
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Speaker 1: That's funny. Who's the quarterback for the Browns?
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Speaker 3: Deshaun Watson. The one who had all those issues with the massage therapists.
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Speaker 1: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: So they had no choice. They gave him a $ 250 million contract, bro. Somebody got to play.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, they got to play. And most of it was guaranteed. Yeah. Oh, my God.
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Speaker 4: I ain't going to say anything because we got the Dolphins and the Bucs, and they're 0-4.
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Speaker 1: 0-4.
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Speaker 3: And they gave Baker money, too. Yeah. The money you get paid.
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Speaker 1: The money you get paid. Zoof.
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Speaker 3: He was on TV like, everything I done for this team, for this city. Man, as soon as they gave him that money.
00:12:08
Speaker 1: I ain't doing nothing no more hey y'all already.
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Speaker 3: Paid me that conference that conference so trash carolina two and two and that number one i.
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Speaker 1: Saw carolina beat the lions.
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Speaker 3: Man yeah i got home with the last eight minutes i was driving back from melbourne and made it home in time to watch the end of the show because carolina didn't play a lot on tv last year because they were terrible so if you're terrible you're not getting on tv If you're winning, they're going to get you on TV. So they've been on TV twice already this year because they made it to the playoffs last year. So I got home in time to watch the game. I was so upset because I don't get to watch them. You know what I'm saying? I got to watch Jacksonville, Miami or Tampa or the four o'clock game, which is always somehow the Cowboys. out of the four o'clock or.
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Speaker 2: Ain't the cowboys always on tv playing always on tv yeah this is people gonna watch no matter what you.
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Speaker 4: Think tampa's oh and four they play the cowboys on thursday they're.
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Speaker 2: Gonna be oh and five damn bro what happened well i know what happened but hey man salute to tampa salute to miami hey y'all Y'all hang in there, bro.
00:13:19
Speaker 1: Y'all all we got. Jacksonville.
00:13:21
Speaker 3: Me and my boy already talked about it. When Jacksonville come down here, man, I'm getting season tickets.
00:13:28
Speaker 1: Is it going to be that affordable?
00:13:30
Speaker 3: I got that money.
00:13:32
Speaker 1: You know what? Excuse me, player. I don't know who you talking to. My bad, dog. You know what? I forgot myself. You still get it in food stamps at your shows. Yes, I am.
00:13:43
Speaker 2: Bro, I ain't going to lie. Bro, I'm going to tell you something. I just We'll talk about it next segment. I'm going to tell y'all something.
00:13:50
Speaker 1: James has come to the conclusion. And I'm not a diva.
00:13:54
Speaker 2: I'm not hard to work with. But I have made a decision. And, hey, man, just the way it is. Some things are never changed.
00:14:02
Speaker 3: And I'm with you on it because I know what you're about to say.
00:14:04
Speaker 1: You know what I'm about to say. Yep. I'll be right back. We'll be right back. This is Real Last, Real Radio 104.1. What's up, everybody?
00:14:26
Speaker 2: Thank you for still listening and hanging with us. This is Real Labs on Real Radio 104.1.
00:14:31
Speaker 1: I'm still your host, Mr.
00:14:32
Speaker 2: James Johns, joined in virtual studio with Jeff, the Batman Kaufman, our official sponsor from Kaufman & Lin, your personal injury attorneys.
00:14:39
Speaker 1: And we got the godfather of Orlando comedy, Mr.
00:14:41
Speaker 2: Ken Miller, a.k.a. Zs today. Ken, tell me what that means today, brother.
00:14:46
Speaker 3: Bro, I'm exhausted. I was explaining this to my wife because I got home in time to watch the end of the game. The game is over. You know, comedians, we're still kind of on that high.
00:14:58
Speaker 1: Adrenaline high. Yeah.
00:14:59
Speaker 3: So I finally get to calm it down. It's 1.30. I go to sleep. I come to office at 6. Take a shower. I get dressed. I get to work. And I'm like, I have to explain to my coworkers, I don't do comedy for a living. So Monday is not a rest day for me.
00:15:17
Speaker 4: No.
00:15:17
Speaker 1: I got to go to work.
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Speaker 3: Most comedians, they fly home Sunday or fly home Monday. They got to rest Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, back on the road Thursday. No, I get home and I got to go to work. So I don't get no rest. And I'm still trying to, I got 12 days to get this TED talk memorized all the way. Bro, I'm just, I have not had any sleep. I am exhausted.
00:15:44
Speaker 1: Do you know what that stage looks like? Yeah. All right. Have you been practicing like you're on that one?
00:15:51
Speaker 3: No, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, I ain't even got this thing memorized. Hey, Hey, Hey, all I'm doing is practicing, bro. That's all I can do.
00:16:00
Speaker 4: You gotta, you gotta, you gotta pretend like that's that stage.
00:16:03
Speaker 1: You got it. It's like you own that stage. You got.
00:16:08
Speaker 4: To know how you're going to work that room.
00:16:12
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. This is Ken. This is big, man.
00:16:20
Speaker 3: It's not that big.
00:16:21
Speaker 4: It is big because if it gets picked up, if people see it, the right people see it.
00:16:28
Speaker 3: Nobody is coming for me, Jeff. I keep telling y'all I'm washed up.
00:16:31
Speaker 1: Listen, that's when they get you. That's when they get you. When you don't care no more.
00:16:37
Speaker 3: Man, this opportunity going to be, you know how the opportunity is going to be my opportunity and it wasn't.
00:16:43
Speaker 1: I'm going to be right here. I'm going to be right here with y'all.
00:16:47
Speaker 3: Mickey Figgins next year. Working Paul Harbour.
00:16:51
Speaker 1: I would tell you this right now. You know what's going to happen? It's going to be James and I going, where's Ken? Oh, he's on his world.
00:16:57
Speaker 3: Tour right now. Y'all know I'm joking, man. I'm super excited for it, man. I've been practicing.
00:17:01
Speaker 1: That's an amazing opportunity.
00:17:03
Speaker 3: And it's well deserved.
00:17:05
Speaker 2: I want to make sure we say that. Well deserve, sir. You deserve that opportunity, man.
00:17:10
Speaker 3: But yeah, man, I ain't got no rest, man. I've been working on this thing and comedy and I'm blessed because a lot of comedians ain't getting to work and getting to make what I'm making now. So I ain't got no complaints about it. Every night I go to bed, I thank Black Baby Jesus. Thank you, Black Jesus. I appreciate you for taking care of me, y'all. And I'm happy. But y'all are my boys, so y'all know I'm going to talk junk with y'all.
00:17:37
Speaker 1: Talking about Jesus, my girl is in a bar. We're in a bar in Tallahassee.
00:17:44
Speaker 4: This woman bartender comes up and goes vodka soda and hands it to Melissa. Now, Melissa didn't order a drink, but that's her drink. And she goes, oh my God, how did she know? And starts drinking it. I go, did you think Jesus brought you this drink?
00:17:56
Speaker 1: Nah, girl. I thought the woman knew me somehow and brought me. You just drank somebody else's drink. What?
00:18:07
Speaker 4: And the woman whose drink she stole thought it was so funny that Melissa thought somehow this woman was psychic and knew.
00:18:12
Speaker 2: Just knew her order. Like everybody's heard real laughs. I listen to real laughs.
00:18:18
Speaker 1: I know what you like. Melissa looked over and goes, thank you, Jesus. And I was like, what is going on? Won't he do it? Hey, won't he do it?
00:18:27
Speaker 2: It's funny that you bring that up, talking about the fact that you're tired because you're doing all these great shows. And here's what I've learned about doing great shows and keeping consistent and doing great shows. It makes you evaluate all the other shows you are doing. And it's made me come to the realization that. I need to stop doing certain rooms. So what I'm saying is I'm not a diva. I'm not hard to work with. If you guys know me and I think you guys can admit this, I'm pretty easy going, man.
00:18:55
Speaker 1: I don't cause waves. I'm pretty laid back. I am low maintenance, but there are clubs I'm no longer working anymore.
00:19:01
Speaker 2: If I go to the club and I care more about the show than you do about advertising it and there's nobody in the audience, then I'm going to stop coming here.
00:19:12
Speaker 1: The money you don't pay me is not worth me coming. That's a long way to go.
00:19:17
Speaker 3: It's because I keep telling people all the time, man, if it's a good show and a good club, we can.
00:19:25
Speaker 1: Put up with it. We'll take the low. Yeah.
00:19:28
Speaker 3: If we leave that, we'll be like, hey, Ken, let me tell you something. It don't pay well. But man, that audience is good.
00:19:37
Speaker 1: We'll take the low.
00:19:39
Speaker 3: But dog, if you paying us the low and there's 30 people there and the room seat 250 and you ain't got but one waitress and you ain't got no bouncer and it's drunk people every goddamn night and you gotta fight with these people and then if you throw them out you mad because i threw them out because you missing out on your little 17 beer bucket.
00:20:01
Speaker 1: Yeah like bro i'm with you and I'm done. Keystone. The $ 17 keystone.
00:20:07
Speaker 3: I'm done.
00:20:08
Speaker 1: $ 17 keystone. That's funny. Natty Light. Natty Light. Yeah.
00:20:13
Speaker 3: I'm telling you, man.
00:20:14
Speaker 1: It's not worth it.
00:20:16
Speaker 3: Even to the point, man, like this past weekend, we had to throw two people out. And the one person we threw out, he's very popular in the city. He did some stuff. I'm not even giving no airtime. But Hey, man, just come to the show and just laugh and hush, bro.
00:20:35
Speaker 1: It's 500 people in here.
00:20:36
Speaker 3: You got to be the one. You got to be the one screaming and yelling at the audience.
00:20:43
Speaker 1: When we threw this.
00:20:43
Speaker 3: Guy out, I got a standing ovation when I threw him out. I got messages from people saying, thank you for throwing him out, man. And we had cops. That cop Hey, let me tell you something. Man, that boy moved so fast.
00:21:00
Speaker 1: He was ready.
00:21:02
Speaker 4: He was a sandman from Apollo.
00:21:08
Speaker 3: But yeah, man, with you, James, man, like I think, too, because we're just older in the game, too. You're tired, man. You don't want to fight with an audience.
00:21:18
Speaker 1: It's a long drive.
00:21:19
Speaker 3: Man, it's a long drive to these places, man. And you get there.
00:21:23
Speaker 1: And why are you here?
00:21:25
Speaker 3: If you're going to get drunk and interrupt the show, you want to heck, why are you here?
00:21:29
Speaker 1: Go see somebody to do crowd work. Bro. Yes. You can interact with. And I'm not a diva, and I keep saying that. It ain't being a diva, big dog.
00:21:39
Speaker 4: It ain't being a diva at all, man. What they don't get is this. Yes, I look at when somebody screws with me. It's a free pass to screw with him. And the audience loves when you do that. But it screws up my rhythm. I have a set and I have to go back to where I was and try to put myself back to that moment where you go, oh, where was I?
00:22:01
Speaker 1: And how many times do you do that? Oh, where was I? And that's a poorly run rule.
00:22:07
Speaker 2: If they don't come up to that person and tell them, look, we don't do that.
00:22:11
Speaker 1: That's why I will say this.
00:22:13
Speaker 2: If I'm going to highlight some of the bad places, I ain't going to say their names.
00:22:16
Speaker 1: I'm going to definitely big up some of the great ones.
00:22:18
Speaker 2: McCurdy's don't play that. McCurdy's don't play that.
00:22:22
Speaker 3: That bouncer be waiting for you to do something bad.
00:22:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, bro. For real.
00:22:28
Speaker 3: This lady was in the front row, Jeff, on her phone. Let me tell you, I looked over at her.
00:22:34
Speaker 1: I looked at him. I looked back. She was gone. I didn't even see him throw her out.
00:22:39
Speaker 4: Nope.
00:22:39
Speaker 3: Just vanished. I was like, damn. Yeah, some clubs don't play, man.
00:22:46
Speaker 1: They don't play.
00:22:47
Speaker 3: Our home club, Orlando Funny Bone. If I say, hey, man, they got to go.
00:22:53
Speaker 2: Hey, they lucky because shout out my boy that used to work there years ago, Rashawn.
00:22:59
Speaker 3: Bruh!
00:23:00
Speaker 1: Used to yoke!
00:23:01
Speaker 3: Rashawn had glasses, but he didn't have one of the arms on him. I'd be like, Bashan, they got to go.
00:23:13
Speaker 1: Where they at, Ken? For real. He was coming down. Yolk.
00:23:19
Speaker 3: Throw you up out of there and not even be upset. That's the thing. Sometimes it ain't even the liquor. People are so like, just come sit and laugh.
00:23:30
Speaker 1: They don't respect anything. You can't teach it nowadays. They are so caught up in their own self-importance. That they don't care if they're interrupting it for everybody else. They really don't. It's just the way people are now.
00:23:42
Speaker 4: And I.
00:23:44
Speaker 1: Try to have fun with it.
00:23:46
Speaker 4: But it does, when I try to explain to somebody, they go, hey, do you like screwing with people?
00:23:51
Speaker 1: I really don't.
00:23:52
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm good at it. I just don't like it because it throws me out of my show.
00:23:58
Speaker 1: You want to do your show and do it the way you wrote it and do it.
00:24:01
Speaker 2: Here's another thing that where I'm at now when it comes to certain clubs, I can't work anymore. I just I'm not going to do it. There are great clubs. Now, I know I am not a household name, so I know my name does not sell tickets. So there are certain clubs that only work me on certain nights of the week. Certain clubs only work me on a Wednesday. If it was it's a proximity thing with that club. If I was closer to the club, I would not mind taking the date and just driving to the show, doing it on a Wednesday, and coming home.
00:24:28
Speaker 1: But it's so far away from me. Six-hour drive up and down. It's a six-hour drive, y'all. I don't want to do something I like for six hours. Nah. So I'm no longer working that club. Great club.
00:24:40
Speaker 2: They have nothing personal against it. But I'm not doing it, y'all. I can't drive that far. for that money anymore. I needed it back in the day when I was, you know, trying to raise my kids and doing this for the, whatever little change I could get and still working my nine to five, but no more for me.
00:24:57
Speaker 1: Thank y'all. And it ain't safe. It really ain't safe either.
00:25:04
Speaker 3: Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah, man. Hey, young comments. If you listen to, I, Man, let me be quiet.
00:25:13
Speaker 1: I don't know if young comics do this.
00:25:15
Speaker 3: Let me be quiet.
00:25:16
Speaker 1: We did this. When we were coming up, we took it all, man. We did it. We would do it. We took all of it. I said young comics. Yeah.
00:25:23
Speaker 4: You know, people are stuck in their ways. Like you, you gave me a gig and I had to drive. I forgot where it was. It was a room I'd never been to and I was excited to go to a new room.
00:25:31
Speaker 3: Yes.
00:25:32
Speaker 1: And I was like, all right, cool. Now, if that room had like eight people in it. Oh, it'd be horrible.
00:25:39
Speaker 4: I'd be going, I don't really feel like making, like if it was, why not? I was like, no, why not?
00:25:45
Speaker 1: Why?
00:25:48
Speaker 3: Why?
00:25:48
Speaker 1: Just get the nut out. Why?
00:25:50
Speaker 2: I don't even think that room is going anymore, but yeah, there's just certain rooms where there's a lot that goes into it.
00:25:55
Speaker 1: Okay.
00:25:55
Speaker 2: Money's going to be a big part of it. Not gonna lie, but is it going to be a great experience? Cause there's another club that we play that doesn't pay a ton of money, but that's, it's a kill box and we love it. And shout out to them, man. I'm not dissing anybody. I'm not, This ain't a shot, but shout out to Laugh Out Loud, man. I have a great time when I go there.
00:26:13
Speaker 1: I love that room. That's a great room, man. I haven't played that room in about two years. It's so good.
00:26:18
Speaker 4: I played it twice, and I remember going, man, I love the way this room is set up. I love the way the people are around you.
00:26:24
Speaker 1: Run by a comic.
00:26:25
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:26:26
Speaker 1: I hate rooms.
00:26:27
Speaker 4: Where people are like, I don't want to say they're far, but they're like 20 feet away.
00:26:32
Speaker 1: That's another horrible thing about a club.
00:26:34
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:26:35
Speaker 1: Or when the stage is 12 feet high. Yeah. And then they're 20 feet away. You're going, you're like on display. Yeah.
00:26:43
Speaker 2: For me, that's just my new rules, man. I love y'all, but I just, it's not worth it for me to be away from the family to do certain gigs anymore, man.
00:26:50
Speaker 1: I love y'all.
00:26:53
Speaker 3: And just fighting too, man. Just fighting the audiences, bro. It's like, and you know, and you know, it's not you cause you're funny. So, you know, it's not you, but man, like I, or, or some of them clubs will book your feature. And the feature's terrible because they got to use a local feature because they don't want to get a feature hotel room. And the feature's terrible. They're doing 30 minutes of crowd work and they think it's good because the audience is talking back to them. And then you get up there and you don't do crowd work. Now the audience want to talk.
00:27:28
Speaker 1: What do you do? I mean, this is something.
00:27:30
Speaker 4: That's a good question because this has happened to me a couple times where I get the feature booked.
00:27:35
Speaker 1: I talk to them.
00:27:36
Speaker 4: They don't care. They don't, you know, when I feature, I care. I'm like, hey, I'm, you know, I'm a good, I'm a supportive person. The person goes, ah, and they bomb. My last three features have bombed, like, heavy. And they just walk out. They don't, they just kind of like, oh, okay, I'm done. And they walk off stage and drop.
00:27:55
Speaker 2: Ken's told you the answer to this, and I agree with his answer. Ken has said, find yourself a good feature that you are comfortable working with.
00:28:04
Speaker 1: Okay. And that's your go-to.
00:28:06
Speaker 2: I mean, there was a reason that Ken had the Box of Chocolates tour. He found two guys that he liked to work with. There's a reason I used to travel with Tommy O'Neal. There's a reason I used to work with Miguel. There's a reason I used to work with Devin Steele.
00:28:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, you ain't got to be nice. I think a lot of cast is giving people feature days to be nice. You ain't got to be nice, man. And you should not be.
00:28:27
Speaker 1: Well, I burned that one out.
00:28:29
Speaker 4: I burned that out because, you know, the heart for me is no good deed goes unpunished.
00:28:33
Speaker 1: And I still keep doing it. But when you get slapped enough, you start thinking, man, you stop doing it.
00:28:39
Speaker 4: You got you got to stop.
00:28:41
Speaker 1: Right.
00:28:41
Speaker 2: And it's not being nice is you give people what they've worked for and what they've earned. If people haven't earned that spot, meaning they haven't consistently done well enough to be able to work those places, then that's not on you.
00:28:53
Speaker 1: They need to work harder if they want to work with you.
00:28:56
Speaker 2: So I would just find somebody that you like, find somebody you trust, and man, you stick with them. On that note, we got to take a short break. My people don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. This is Real Last Real Radio 104.1. Welcome back, everybody.
00:29:25
Speaker 1: And thank you.
00:29:26
Speaker 2: You are still listening to Real Laugh on Real Radio 104.1. We are your nightcap comedy. It's me, James John, your host, Ken Miller, a.k.a. The Godfather Orlando Comedy. And today he's also known as Z's because that.
00:29:39
Speaker 1: Boy is tired. Jeff, the Batman Kaufman from Kaufman and.
00:29:41
Speaker 2: Lynn, our official sponsors. They are your official personal injury attorneys. Now, Ken, you want to ask me something, man, because right now you are in a great financial situation.
00:29:50
Speaker 1: You are on tour. You're doing great for yourself. And you wanted to know something, man. Please ask us and we shall answer.
00:29:56
Speaker 3: So it's actually, excuse me, you and a bunch of comedians that it may affect, but that's why I wanted to get to you. Where are your comedy clips being played at on Sirius?
00:30:07
Speaker 1: Oh, Kevin Hart's.
00:30:08
Speaker 3: Did you hear about the Raw Dog comedy? So Sebastian Maniscalco just bought, I might have said his last name wrong, bought Raw Dog Comedy on SiriusXM. And apparently it had like 900 comedians on the platform and they just cut like 600. Yep. And so now comedians are on the Internet. Now, now that I said it, you're going to see it. I hashtag Sebastian Maniscalco. Bring the brain to come back. We make money off of this. So I didn't know if you were on Raw Dog Comedy as well. No.
00:30:38
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:30:38
Speaker 3: I saw a video for Carmen Morales video. And now, like, famous comedians are like, yo, dude, what are you doing? Like, you're taking money.
00:30:45
Speaker 1: That's a revenue stream for them. Yeah. Real one. Like, Devin is on a– not Raw Dog, I don't believe.
00:30:52
Speaker 4: Hold on, hold on, hold on. If I'm him, this ain't by accident. He's going, I want to make sure we have the best humor on here. And if you're getting cut because your stuff isn't the best, he can't be.
00:31:03
Speaker 1: Just cutting for the hell of it.
00:31:04
Speaker 2: But you're assuming that's what that is.
00:31:06
Speaker 1: And when I hear that, I don't– Well, why would he cut it?
00:31:09
Speaker 3: Well, I don't know. I don't know. But Raw Dog Comedy was more of the station for unknown comedians.
00:31:19
Speaker 1: Correct.
00:31:20
Speaker 3: For unknown comedians. So it's not like I feel like I don't know, Jeff.
00:31:27
Speaker 1: I don't know the story.
00:31:28
Speaker 3: I just know as a comic, you know how comics are broke. And if it wasn't going to mess up your money, why come in and cut it if you knew it wasn't going to mess with your money?
00:31:38
Speaker 1: You just said something.
00:31:39
Speaker 4: If it's not going to mess up your money. This obviously wasn't a big money-making venture for the company that owned it that he could afford to buy it. I mean, how rich do you think this dude is that he could buy a station? A station is expensive. I mean, it's like three houses. These aren't cheap. And he's thinking to himself, how do I make this more profitable? How do I cut and save money? You cut comics.
00:32:07
Speaker 2: That's what it was. That's what that is when you do that. You get paid through rotation, right? No, you get paid per clip, and it's a lot per clip. Every time they play you, it is $ 40 you get paid.
00:32:17
Speaker 1: That's what I mean. Yeah.
00:32:19
Speaker 4: So who's ever getting there is going to get $ 40 or whatever. Every time it's played. I get 40. That's what I'm saying to you. So if he's going to only put what he considers, let's say, the top of the tier so more people buy, subscribe, more people listen, more people pay for the average.
00:32:38
Speaker 1: No, I'm sorry, Jeff.
00:32:39
Speaker 4: You think he's just doing it so he can keep his money or you think he's doing it to him?
00:32:44
Speaker 1: Remind me what country we live in again?
00:32:46
Speaker 3: Now, Jeff, I don't know how true this is. This is the rumor about him. I don't know how true it is. This has been in the comedy world. He did a sold-out show at Madison Square Garden and paid his feature $ 100. No way. That's the word.
00:33:05
Speaker 1: No, he's Italian. He don't do that. Italians take care of business. I mean, I don't want to stereotype, but.
00:33:11
Speaker 3: Yeah, you stereotype like a mother.
00:33:13
Speaker 1: I am, but that's a good thing. Italians take care of people. They tip well. They do this. Especially this dude. He's... He's old school. You know what? Let me say this.
00:33:21
Speaker 2: I'm going to wait to hear more information, but that's exactly what that sounds like. I bought a new business, and the first thing I do is lay off. That sounds like business as usual.
00:33:29
Speaker 4: When you buy a club and you're looking to enhance it, you clean house sometimes.
00:33:33
Speaker 1: You get rid of... That's what I'm saying. It's a money-saving thing that he's doing.
00:33:38
Speaker 2: No, no.
00:33:38
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about saving money. You're trying to build something better. Nah. You're making it sound nice. That's not what that is. No, I'm not saying it's nice. I'm saying that some people are going to lose... Like when you buy a law firm, I'll give you an example.
00:33:50
Speaker 4: If somebody buys a law firm, they come in and they get rid of the garbage people quickly.
00:33:57
Speaker 1: They go, listen. Or they get rid of the people making the most money. If they're not delivering, if they're not bringing in.
00:34:04
Speaker 2: I don't believe that either because I've seen it happen in companies I was at. They don't necessarily get rid of the bad people. They're getting rid of the people that are making the most money.
00:34:12
Speaker 1: Do you listen to Raw Dog? I don't. I don't listen to Sirius.
00:34:16
Speaker 3: Yeah. I listen to Kevin Hart. I don't listen to Raw. I listen to Kevin Hart.
00:34:21
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:34:22
Speaker 4: I mean, when I look at somebody who does something like this, I guarantee you're going to find something online that's going to say what his intentions are for this.
00:34:31
Speaker 1: He wants to make this a premier thing. If you say so. No, I got a feeling that's what.
00:34:38
Speaker 3: I feel like maybe with the publicity now, ain't nobody buying it.
00:34:42
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:34:43
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
00:34:46
Speaker 1: I saw him sell out like six months in Vegas. I'm going to see him.
00:34:50
Speaker 3: Bro, that dude's funny. That dude is hilarious. But I brought it up because I know James just signed on with Sirius, so I didn't know if it had anything to do with you, like with a lot of our friends.
00:35:02
Speaker 1: Hold on, let's talk about something.
00:35:04
Speaker 4: James and I shot a video the other day, and we shot one that got, how much did the first one get?
00:35:11
Speaker 1: Like 160,000 views.
00:35:13
Speaker 4: And I remember Devin go, we got to shoot another one. And I thought this one was better.
00:35:19
Speaker 1: But there's a difference. Do you know the difference? Do you know the difference? Please tell me.
00:35:25
Speaker 2: The first one we shot had to do with Disney. Theme park comedians, what we normally do. This one had nothing to do with it, but you have to keep this in mind. When you're building a new property, meaning a new series of videos, you got to be patient. You got to put that first one out there. Don't look back. Consistently keep doing it. Now, if you and I keep doing it like we promised, like we'll do a few of them every time I come see you, it will grow.
00:35:49
Speaker 1: It will get bigger. But you can't expect that same. I don't know the numbers on it. I just thought this was funnier. Never do that.
00:35:58
Speaker 2: I've learned that in my, when it comes to making social media, the one you invest your heart in, the one you're like, babe, it's going to be funny.
00:36:04
Speaker 1: Ask Ken. No, I just want to do nothing. I just saw it come across my feed and I was like, man, that's a funny video. That's hilarious. Yeah, it was very good. It got it. I'm going to it now. I got a lot of likes. I'm sorry. I got a lot of people who liked it. But he didn't get as much that first one that had to do with theme park comedians. I thought it was funny. I was laughing.
00:36:29
Speaker 4: I think it was cut perfect. I think Dave did a good job cutting this thing. That's the one thing about this stuff.
00:36:35
Speaker 1: You never know. You look at things, oh, well, this one got this. Because I'm doing a show. I'm now on the beat.
00:36:41
Speaker 4: And Kelly came in and we shot like 12 things.
00:36:47
Speaker 1: And it was funny.
00:36:48
Speaker 4: He does the morning show. he's the morning drive dude and he's a good dude. And you know what I really love? I love the people I'm working with now.
00:36:57
Speaker 1: Good.
00:36:58
Speaker 4: And I think that's hard to say that sometimes, you know, when you're working with people who.
00:37:03
Speaker 1: Haven't, how can I say this?
00:37:04
Speaker 4: Haven't been spoiled by a fan base that, you know, they want to, they want to be better. They want it to, they want it to do more. They just don't think that they can just show up and it's going to work for them. And I've had fun. I got to shoot with Mel today, Mel Taylor. And we did like 15 and they were funny. I mean, you know, once you work with somebody for a little bit, they get better. So now I've, I'm on the beat and I'm on a one-on-one and those are the only, um, uh, let's just say, uh, jocks I'm working with now. So outside of our stuff, which is fun.
00:37:40
Speaker 2: Which is very fun, by the way, I'm glad, I'm glad to hear it, man. So, uh, I'm not, I can't even talk.
00:37:47
Speaker 3: Right.
00:37:48
Speaker 1: Ken, When it comes to that, bro, I'm just saying, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know either.
00:37:54
Speaker 3: I guess I'm with you, James. Like I said, I asked because I know you just signed on. And, you know, the story ain't came out yet. It's comedians making videos saying, hey, you know, Sebastian, do something about it. But like I just said, I don't know, man. I don't know.
00:38:10
Speaker 1: We don't know. We don't know.
00:38:11
Speaker 4: They might be having shows. They might be going to an hour long podcast on it. They could be doing they could be completely revamping it.
00:38:17
Speaker 1: All that's dope.
00:38:18
Speaker 2: And here's what I'll say. Because it sounds like business as usual to me, but I hope I'm wrong. I hope I hear more information and stuff coming out. But I do know, no matter what, all these comics' livelihood and their pay just got cut considerably. Because there's people, man, who are making great money on Sears Radio. When that stuff's played, that's money in your pocket.
00:38:40
Speaker 1: Cha-ching. I heard Preacher the other day five times.
00:38:44
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:38:45
Speaker 1: Bro. Well, that's Preacher, too, though. That's Preacher, too. You know, he's a known entity. I know him.
00:38:53
Speaker 3: They know me.
00:38:55
Speaker 1: That's what it is. You know, talk to him.
00:39:00
Speaker 4: I heard Carrot Top got back on. I heard Carrot Top's getting back on stage.
00:39:04
Speaker 3: Good.
00:39:05
Speaker 1: He already played his thing.
00:39:07
Speaker 2: That's a dude. That's a dude who just let that dude. Let that dude live his life, man. I mean, he ain't hurt anybody. He ain't hurt anybody. People just look at him like like he a bank vault.
00:39:20
Speaker 4: He's Scrooge McDuck sitting there throwing his money in the air. I've met this dude. He's a good dude. He's got his preferences. But what they call him out on, that's silly.
00:39:34
Speaker 1: I think it's silly too, man. They go, like Grindr. Everyone who doesn't know what Grindr is is offended. I go, do you know what Grindr is? They know what it is. It's in the name. You don't have to look too far.
00:39:47
Speaker 3: This isn't eHarmony. Them segways wild in the day, bro.
00:39:53
Speaker 1: I know.
00:39:53
Speaker 3: I don't want to date.
00:39:57
Speaker 1: You. We got some good stuff coming. Hey, I want to make sure I give you guys.
00:40:07
Speaker 1: This is funny. I'm going to give a quick update.
00:40:09
Speaker 2: We were talking about this in a previous segment about I'm not going to do certain things anymore when it comes to comedy, and I'm not a diva. There's a guy trying to get me to travel six hours in one night And he's like, will you do it for this?
00:40:22
Speaker 3: No.
00:40:24
Speaker 1: How many miles is that? That's about 400, right? Yeah. Do you know the government pays, you know, when you travel, when you work for a company, it's 71 cents a mile. Yeah.
00:40:39
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:40:39
Speaker 4: And you're going both ways. So you're not even getting paid the cost of travel.
00:40:44
Speaker 2: No.
00:40:45
Speaker 1: No, I'm not, man. I'm going to tell you this, y'all.
00:40:47
Speaker 2: And that, Kenneth's saying it. He said it right. That's dangerous at my age to be driving six hours, man.
00:40:52
Speaker 1: I've seen you drive at night.
00:40:54
Speaker 4: No.
00:40:54
Speaker 1: Yes, you have. Yes, you have. I'm not doing it anymore. No, we ain't doing it. I'm not doing it.
00:40:59
Speaker 2: Hey, before I go, let's end on a great positive note. Have all these wonderful people come out and support us.
00:41:04
Speaker 1: So, Mr.
00:41:05
Speaker 2: Jeff Corbin, tell us what you got coming up, man, so people can come out and see you and listen to you.
00:41:09
Speaker 1: This Saturday, I've got Andrew McCarthy on my show. I'm excited.
00:41:13
Speaker 3: I know.
00:41:14
Speaker 4: I love that dude. He's just a, he's a, he's a solid dude. Enjoy the hell out of it. He has this movie called Orion that just hit the theaters. He's a, it's one of those thrillers where he's like a interrogator, a space interrogator.
00:41:27
Speaker 1: I love it. It's his first sci-fi movie ever.
00:41:28
Speaker 4: I said, how do you choose the, I don't know. It's fun conversation. You listen to it on Saturday. You'll appreciate it.
00:41:35
Speaker 1: That's dope. And Mr.
00:41:36
Speaker 2: Ken Miller, y'all make sure you go. I mean, first off, Jeff, y'all go check him out under old podcast. on all streaming services. Y'all go check that out. Great show.
00:41:45
Speaker 3: Mr. K.
00:41:45
Speaker 1: Miller, what you got coming up? The people should go and support my brother.
00:41:49
Speaker 3: Man, this weekend, Cocoa Beach for RMJS Weeks. The shows are sold out. But hey, October 17th, I am doing a TED Talk, man. You can go on my Facebook page and get tickets. If you use the code word MIL30, M-I-L-L-3-0, you can get 30% off of tickets. Come see the kids.
00:42:11
Speaker 1: Nice, man.
00:42:12
Speaker 2: If you guys are looking to see James, you can come see me Saturday in Winter Park. I'll be doing a gig with Absar Siddiqui.
00:42:17
Speaker 1: That's right.
00:42:18
Speaker 2: Y'all come check us out. Very funny man. It's close by to Orlando. Y'all look at my social media. You got all the details you want. Come out there and let me put some comedy in your life. As always, thank y'all so much, man, for tuning in. I don't say this enough. We appreciate all the fans. that listen to us. You actually come up to me and say, I listened to you on real radio when I was- All the time.
00:42:38
Speaker 1: Yes, they do.
00:42:39
Speaker 3: All the time. I just did Fit Life Foods and the kid in there was like, are you Ken?
00:42:45
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah. He said, man, I know your voice. That's- I love that. I know that voice.
00:42:50
Speaker 3: Hey, man.
00:42:50
Speaker 1: I know that voice, man.
00:42:52
Speaker 3: Yeah, man.
00:42:53
Speaker 1: Shout out to that kid.
00:42:53
Speaker 3: I forgot your name. I'm sorry, Playboy. But we are off too, man. The crazy thing is we off and the team that's playing Thursday, they trash.
00:43:04
Speaker 1: We could have did the show.
00:43:06
Speaker 3: Would y'all rather listen to Tampa Bay Bucks game or listen to Real Louds? That's crazy, bro.
00:43:11
Speaker 1: Yeah, who paid for that? Who paid for that? Y'all could have gave us that money.
00:43:16
Speaker 3: We better, yo.
00:43:18
Speaker 1: Bro, that's... Amen.
00:43:24
Speaker 2: Thank you all so much for listening to us. On behalf of our wonderful sponsor, Mr. Jeff, the Batman Coffin, that is Ken Miller, the Godfather of Orlando Comedy. I am James, your host. Appreciate you all listening. We'll be back next week. Ken, tell them what to do.
00:43:37
Speaker 3: Take your ass to bed and go Carolina Panthers, number one in the division.
Speaker 1: What's up, everybody? Thank you, thank you, thank you.
00:00:09
Speaker 2: Y'all have just tuned in to Real Lives on Real Radio 104.1.
00:00:13
Speaker 1: I am your host tonight, Mr.
00:00:15
Speaker 2: James John, and we got a great, fantastic, wonderful show for all you out there.
00:00:19
Speaker 1: We are your nightcap of comedy.
00:00:22
Speaker 2: I am joined in virtual studio by our sponsor, first off, from Kauffman & Lynn.
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Speaker 1: They are your personal injury attorneys.
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Speaker 2: They've been representing and winning for the good people of Orlando for over 30 years. Not only do they have a website, whenyouneedus.com, go there for more information, but they got a special phone number that my man Ken Miller, a.k.a.
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Speaker 1: These, will tell you the number you can call right now.
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Speaker 3: It's 407-500-JEFF, 407-500-JEFF. Car accident, slip or fall, kick in the ass. Call our dog, Jeffrey Kaufman.
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Speaker 1: That's right. That voice you're hearing is Ken Miller, a.k.a. The Z's today.
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Speaker 2: He'll tell you what that means in a second. And we're talking about Jeff Kaufman in the building with us today. Now, Jeff, I did not call you before you're here for somebody else. I did not call you the other day. But I was doing a comedy show. minding my own business inside Stamper's in Palm Harbor. A woman got in a car, wasn't her car, took the keys off of the bar of a man driving a big body BMW.
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Speaker 1: It was a 2023 model.
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Speaker 2: She was parked facing the building, did a half moon in reverse and took out five cars with her. One of those cars was a blue Civic driven by a happy, maybe diabetic man named James Yon, who was on stage.
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Speaker 1: Performing at said club at the moment. Yeah, took it right out. Bumper, gone. It looked like me. No ass. Gone. What did you find out? When the waitress said, James, I said, what?
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Speaker 2: Hey, some lady got in an accident out here. Now, it's right on the highway, so I'm thinking, ooh, on the highway? And that's what I said out loud. She goes, no, in the parking lot. She took out a bunch of cars, and I'm like, I'm parked.
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Speaker 1: In the parking lot.
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Speaker 2: Let me take my black ass out there and see if she hit me. And I'm thinking in my head, couldn't be me. Nah, I mean, I'm like, bro, I'm like outcast. I'm like, nah, nah, couldn't be me. Not me.
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Speaker 1: When outside, it was all me. All eyes on me. Bro! How did she get your car the worst out of all of them? Because I'm James. She hit one car. Were you on stage?
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Speaker 3: I was on stage.
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Speaker 1: Could you imagine you're halfway in a routine? Hey, James. Crazy white woman hit your car.
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Speaker 2: Bro, let me tell you. She took somebody's car and did that. When she half mooned, she ended up perfectly in a parking spot, right? there was a car in that parking spot before she got there. So that car ended up in the building.
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Speaker 4: How did, how did, whose keys, she just stole a pair of keys and guessed what car it was?
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Speaker 1: She knew the guy. She only had two drinks, according to the bartender.
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Speaker 3: Oh, no way. You know, that's what they always say. I had two.
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Speaker 1: I deuced it.
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Speaker 4: You didn't deuce it. What I'm telling you is they went back and checked her bill.
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Speaker 1: The owner did. No, the manager.
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Speaker 2: And she had two drinks. But what we think is either she pre-game won.
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Speaker 1: People bought it.
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Speaker 2: Or this woman had something else in her system besides alcohol.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: And somebody might have bought her some drinks, too. Maybe. Maybe.
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Speaker 4: The dude with the nice car probably, you know, she knew who he was.
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Speaker 1: He had money, too.
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Speaker 2: Everybody knows this dude because his family owns a bunch of restaurants in the area.
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Speaker 1: All I know is that's a good thing because he got good insurance.
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Speaker 2: To quote Smokey from Friday, your car just got effed up.
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Speaker 1: Oh, you want to pick that? But they took her away in an ambulance.
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Speaker 2: And I'm pretty sure when she woke up in the hospital, she was handcuffed to that bed.
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Speaker 1: Yep. She was handcuffed to that bed. They took her blood. I promise you this. That's what I said.
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Speaker 2: I said, Jeff has told me when you get an accident like this and they take you away, they're going to do a blood test.
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Speaker 1: They're going to do a blood test. They're going to tell you everything in your system at that time. They will know everything. Weed, you name it.
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Speaker 3: Man, you 3% Caucasian? How y'all know?
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Speaker 1: We checking your blood, baby. Hey, what you do? 23andMe. You got two kids that you don't know about. Yeah, we checking your blood. They come like, you 3% Caucasian? How you know?
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Speaker 3: I saw how small your penis was, B. Oh, damn. Hey, we know you got two futons and an Ikea. We know everything about you. They know everything about you, bro. I didn't call you Jeff. That's why I was going to ask Jeff. So in that moment.
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Speaker 1: It's a property damage.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: You get that guy's insurance, too, because he let her take him.
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Speaker 2: Bro, that's what the cops said. The cops not only gave me, because the cops gave us a report. It has his info, his insurance, and her. Bro, so you can be sitting there minding your own business, Ken, doing the right thing. Somebody could take you.
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Speaker 1: No, he. Hold on. Hold on, James. How about I call this one out? Okay.
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Speaker 4: She took his keys. Because she knows him in a specific type of way.
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Speaker 1: Maybe.
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Speaker 4: I've never had a woman go just arbitrarily know what my keys look like.
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Speaker 1: She knows him in a biblical sense. You know what I mean?
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: That's how they call it.
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Speaker 4: He probably made a choice one evening, and she's still a little salty about it.
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Speaker 1: Bro, can I tell y'all? And my daddy used to tell me this. What happened to the car, though? Did you have to get the car towed and everything?
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Speaker 2: My car is still in Palm Harbor in a collision place. They just hit me with an email today. They're fixing it. And people thought I was going to be so angry.
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Speaker 4: Who's paying for it? You got to pay the deductible or is he covering it? I got to pay the deductible so far. Because my insurance said, first, you're going to pay the deductible. Then we're going after him to get your deductible back.
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Speaker 1: That's what I did. Shut up. What was he driving? Shut up. What was he driving? Big body BMW 2023. Okay. Do me a favor. If he denies it. He talked to everybody. He admitted to cops. Your deductible is probably like a K, right? No, mine's $ 250.
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Speaker 2: I don't pay cheap insurance. I tell everybody this. I do not pay. I don't got the general. I don't got the colonel.
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Speaker 4: I ain't got the lieutenant.
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Speaker 1: I ain't got the lieutenant Dan. I pay full coverage for insurance.
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Speaker 2: I tell every one of my kids, get extended warranty on your car too.
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Speaker 1: I don't play. You get tired. Some people don't do it. I get tire insurance.
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Speaker 4: I don't screw around because replacing tires is ridiculously expensive.
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Speaker 1: You ain't lying.
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Speaker 2: Oh, because you got a Jeep. Guess what they gave me? Guess what they gave me to drive?
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Speaker 1: Look at you whipping around like you're playing Mario Kart. I got a Rubicon. Oh, hey.
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Speaker 4: Have you ever had to go see people you went to high school with and you go, man, they look old?
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Speaker 3: Oh, hell yeah.
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Speaker 1: I went to a reunion.
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Speaker 3: Hey, time out, man.
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Speaker 1: How the hell you go to that? What do you mean?
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Speaker 3: We're talking about Jay's car accident and you went to.
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Speaker 1: It was getting fixed. It's getting fixed. It's solved. He wasn't in the car. That segway was wild, bro.
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Speaker 4: We're going to go after the rich dude.
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Speaker 3: I got a Rubicon. White people be getting old, don't they? He's happier now. I was this close to saying I was in that car.
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Speaker 1: I jumped in it. He's Ooh, my neck. Hey, kid. I said, me, him, Miguel.
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Speaker 3: Man, we was recording. We was on a stream yard. We was on a stream yard in the car.
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Speaker 1: We came off tour to get that backseat. We doing one of these.
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Speaker 2: Then the lady got out of her car, came in my car, pulled me out, and kicked me in my ass, kid.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, man, for real.
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Speaker 1: I'm trying to get paid out here. That dude, Jeff Segway. Wow, bro.
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Speaker 4: No, because I had a weird one, man. I just had a weird, the weekend was weird. I had to go see people I haven't seen in 35 years. And I walked into the room and people were coming up to me. And I said to the Russian, I said, do I look this old? And she goes, are they your age?
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Speaker 1: Let me tell you.
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Speaker 4: And I said, I said, yeah, they're my age. She goes, no, they can't be your age. I said, yeah, they're three, four years younger than me.
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Speaker 2: I've gone back to my old neighborhood and people walk up to me.
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Speaker 1: Hey, James. Hey, hey, man. Like they look familiar.
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Speaker 2: Some people don't age as well when they leave high school, man.
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Speaker 1: Like some of the.
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Speaker 2: The high school heroes used to know, man. They didn't go on to the greatness that we thought they would. Sometimes life be lifin' and they don't look the best, man.
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Speaker 1: I miss some of them, but I was looking at some going, God.
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Speaker 4: Some of them rough, though. Some people never age. Sometimes they don't age. I can't go to events outside either. I went to the Florida State game.
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Speaker 1: It was Africa.
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Speaker 4: I stepped out there, and we were there for like a quarter. And I said to the Russian, we got to go downstairs and get some water. And we went downstairs.
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Speaker 1: I said, we ain't coming back.
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Speaker 2: Well, you guys are sports guys. Real quick, let me ask. Do y'all go to outside events for sports, though?
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Speaker 1: Like, you watch a game? I normally don't.
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Speaker 4: I normally go to inside things. Like, I go to the Magic Games. I'll go to the Soul. I'll go to hockey inside. Baseball inside stadiums. I try to avoid outside.
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Speaker 1: But most football games. NFL, they're outside. Unless they're in a dome. Yeah, unless they're playing in a dome or something.
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Speaker 2: I just can't imagine it being comfortable. It's so humid everywhere, man, especially in Florida, man. But hey, let me ask you a quick sports question because I just learned this today. Not learned this today, but I realized that football season is starting again. Aren't the Jaguars from Jacksonville playing in Orlando, and they've already started playing here?
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Speaker 3: Next year.
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Speaker 1: Not next year. Oh, next year.
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Speaker 3: Not this year.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. They're getting something built, a stadium. Yeah, but they're playing good this year.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, they're playing good this year. It's the same stadium, and they're upgrading it. They're like a billion dollars in upgrades to that stadium.
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Speaker 1: Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Just to upgrade a stadium is a billion dollars? You know, a new stadium is three billion.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, go look at it. It's going to be amazing.
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Speaker 1: Bro, Not a new one. You said upgrades.
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Speaker 3: Dude, these new football stadiums are amazing, bro. I mean, you're dropping a billion on them. That's two or three seasons for a football team.
00:11:01
Speaker 1: If that's crazy, bro.
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Speaker 4: I think the number was 250 million from TV rights alone.
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Speaker 1: Yes. That's what they get at the beginning of the season. 250. Even the Browns can't. 250 million. But the new one, you want to see a new stadium? The Browns are 3-1. 3-1! Yes! Somebody told me that!
00:11:20
Speaker 3: Somebody said Deshaun Watson getting massages again.
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Speaker 1: That's funny. Who's the quarterback for the Browns?
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Speaker 3: Deshaun Watson. The one who had all those issues with the massage therapists.
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Speaker 1: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: So they had no choice. They gave him a $ 250 million contract, bro. Somebody got to play.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, they got to play. And most of it was guaranteed. Yeah. Oh, my God.
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Speaker 4: I ain't going to say anything because we got the Dolphins and the Bucs, and they're 0-4.
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Speaker 1: 0-4.
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Speaker 3: And they gave Baker money, too. Yeah. The money you get paid.
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Speaker 1: The money you get paid. Zoof.
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Speaker 3: He was on TV like, everything I done for this team, for this city. Man, as soon as they gave him that money.
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Speaker 1: I ain't doing nothing no more hey y'all already.
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Speaker 3: Paid me that conference that conference so trash carolina two and two and that number one i.
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Speaker 1: Saw carolina beat the lions.
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Speaker 3: Man yeah i got home with the last eight minutes i was driving back from melbourne and made it home in time to watch the end of the show because carolina didn't play a lot on tv last year because they were terrible so if you're terrible you're not getting on tv If you're winning, they're going to get you on TV. So they've been on TV twice already this year because they made it to the playoffs last year. So I got home in time to watch the game. I was so upset because I don't get to watch them. You know what I'm saying? I got to watch Jacksonville, Miami or Tampa or the four o'clock game, which is always somehow the Cowboys. out of the four o'clock or.
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Speaker 2: Ain't the cowboys always on tv playing always on tv yeah this is people gonna watch no matter what you.
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Speaker 4: Think tampa's oh and four they play the cowboys on thursday they're.
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Speaker 2: Gonna be oh and five damn bro what happened well i know what happened but hey man salute to tampa salute to miami hey y'all Y'all hang in there, bro.
00:13:19
Speaker 1: Y'all all we got. Jacksonville.
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Speaker 3: Me and my boy already talked about it. When Jacksonville come down here, man, I'm getting season tickets.
00:13:28
Speaker 1: Is it going to be that affordable?
00:13:30
Speaker 3: I got that money.
00:13:32
Speaker 1: You know what? Excuse me, player. I don't know who you talking to. My bad, dog. You know what? I forgot myself. You still get it in food stamps at your shows. Yes, I am.
00:13:43
Speaker 2: Bro, I ain't going to lie. Bro, I'm going to tell you something. I just We'll talk about it next segment. I'm going to tell y'all something.
00:13:50
Speaker 1: James has come to the conclusion. And I'm not a diva.
00:13:54
Speaker 2: I'm not hard to work with. But I have made a decision. And, hey, man, just the way it is. Some things are never changed.
00:14:02
Speaker 3: And I'm with you on it because I know what you're about to say.
00:14:04
Speaker 1: You know what I'm about to say. Yep. I'll be right back. We'll be right back. This is Real Last, Real Radio 104.1. What's up, everybody?
00:14:26
Speaker 2: Thank you for still listening and hanging with us. This is Real Labs on Real Radio 104.1.
00:14:31
Speaker 1: I'm still your host, Mr.
00:14:32
Speaker 2: James Johns, joined in virtual studio with Jeff, the Batman Kaufman, our official sponsor from Kaufman & Lin, your personal injury attorneys.
00:14:39
Speaker 1: And we got the godfather of Orlando comedy, Mr.
00:14:41
Speaker 2: Ken Miller, a.k.a. Zs today. Ken, tell me what that means today, brother.
00:14:46
Speaker 3: Bro, I'm exhausted. I was explaining this to my wife because I got home in time to watch the end of the game. The game is over. You know, comedians, we're still kind of on that high.
00:14:58
Speaker 1: Adrenaline high. Yeah.
00:14:59
Speaker 3: So I finally get to calm it down. It's 1.30. I go to sleep. I come to office at 6. Take a shower. I get dressed. I get to work. And I'm like, I have to explain to my coworkers, I don't do comedy for a living. So Monday is not a rest day for me.
00:15:17
Speaker 4: No.
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Speaker 1: I got to go to work.
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Speaker 3: Most comedians, they fly home Sunday or fly home Monday. They got to rest Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, back on the road Thursday. No, I get home and I got to go to work. So I don't get no rest. And I'm still trying to, I got 12 days to get this TED talk memorized all the way. Bro, I'm just, I have not had any sleep. I am exhausted.
00:15:44
Speaker 1: Do you know what that stage looks like? Yeah. All right. Have you been practicing like you're on that one?
00:15:51
Speaker 3: No, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, I ain't even got this thing memorized. Hey, Hey, Hey, all I'm doing is practicing, bro. That's all I can do.
00:16:00
Speaker 4: You gotta, you gotta, you gotta pretend like that's that stage.
00:16:03
Speaker 1: You got it. It's like you own that stage. You got.
00:16:08
Speaker 4: To know how you're going to work that room.
00:16:12
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. This is Ken. This is big, man.
00:16:20
Speaker 3: It's not that big.
00:16:21
Speaker 4: It is big because if it gets picked up, if people see it, the right people see it.
00:16:28
Speaker 3: Nobody is coming for me, Jeff. I keep telling y'all I'm washed up.
00:16:31
Speaker 1: Listen, that's when they get you. That's when they get you. When you don't care no more.
00:16:37
Speaker 3: Man, this opportunity going to be, you know how the opportunity is going to be my opportunity and it wasn't.
00:16:43
Speaker 1: I'm going to be right here. I'm going to be right here with y'all.
00:16:47
Speaker 3: Mickey Figgins next year. Working Paul Harbour.
00:16:51
Speaker 1: I would tell you this right now. You know what's going to happen? It's going to be James and I going, where's Ken? Oh, he's on his world.
00:16:57
Speaker 3: Tour right now. Y'all know I'm joking, man. I'm super excited for it, man. I've been practicing.
00:17:01
Speaker 1: That's an amazing opportunity.
00:17:03
Speaker 3: And it's well deserved.
00:17:05
Speaker 2: I want to make sure we say that. Well deserve, sir. You deserve that opportunity, man.
00:17:10
Speaker 3: But yeah, man, I ain't got no rest, man. I've been working on this thing and comedy and I'm blessed because a lot of comedians ain't getting to work and getting to make what I'm making now. So I ain't got no complaints about it. Every night I go to bed, I thank Black Baby Jesus. Thank you, Black Jesus. I appreciate you for taking care of me, y'all. And I'm happy. But y'all are my boys, so y'all know I'm going to talk junk with y'all.
00:17:37
Speaker 1: Talking about Jesus, my girl is in a bar. We're in a bar in Tallahassee.
00:17:44
Speaker 4: This woman bartender comes up and goes vodka soda and hands it to Melissa. Now, Melissa didn't order a drink, but that's her drink. And she goes, oh my God, how did she know? And starts drinking it. I go, did you think Jesus brought you this drink?
00:17:56
Speaker 1: Nah, girl. I thought the woman knew me somehow and brought me. You just drank somebody else's drink. What?
00:18:07
Speaker 4: And the woman whose drink she stole thought it was so funny that Melissa thought somehow this woman was psychic and knew.
00:18:12
Speaker 2: Just knew her order. Like everybody's heard real laughs. I listen to real laughs.
00:18:18
Speaker 1: I know what you like. Melissa looked over and goes, thank you, Jesus. And I was like, what is going on? Won't he do it? Hey, won't he do it?
00:18:27
Speaker 2: It's funny that you bring that up, talking about the fact that you're tired because you're doing all these great shows. And here's what I've learned about doing great shows and keeping consistent and doing great shows. It makes you evaluate all the other shows you are doing. And it's made me come to the realization that. I need to stop doing certain rooms. So what I'm saying is I'm not a diva. I'm not hard to work with. If you guys know me and I think you guys can admit this, I'm pretty easy going, man.
00:18:55
Speaker 1: I don't cause waves. I'm pretty laid back. I am low maintenance, but there are clubs I'm no longer working anymore.
00:19:01
Speaker 2: If I go to the club and I care more about the show than you do about advertising it and there's nobody in the audience, then I'm going to stop coming here.
00:19:12
Speaker 1: The money you don't pay me is not worth me coming. That's a long way to go.
00:19:17
Speaker 3: It's because I keep telling people all the time, man, if it's a good show and a good club, we can.
00:19:25
Speaker 1: Put up with it. We'll take the low. Yeah.
00:19:28
Speaker 3: If we leave that, we'll be like, hey, Ken, let me tell you something. It don't pay well. But man, that audience is good.
00:19:37
Speaker 1: We'll take the low.
00:19:39
Speaker 3: But dog, if you paying us the low and there's 30 people there and the room seat 250 and you ain't got but one waitress and you ain't got no bouncer and it's drunk people every goddamn night and you gotta fight with these people and then if you throw them out you mad because i threw them out because you missing out on your little 17 beer bucket.
00:20:01
Speaker 1: Yeah like bro i'm with you and I'm done. Keystone. The $ 17 keystone.
00:20:07
Speaker 3: I'm done.
00:20:08
Speaker 1: $ 17 keystone. That's funny. Natty Light. Natty Light. Yeah.
00:20:13
Speaker 3: I'm telling you, man.
00:20:14
Speaker 1: It's not worth it.
00:20:16
Speaker 3: Even to the point, man, like this past weekend, we had to throw two people out. And the one person we threw out, he's very popular in the city. He did some stuff. I'm not even giving no airtime. But Hey, man, just come to the show and just laugh and hush, bro.
00:20:35
Speaker 1: It's 500 people in here.
00:20:36
Speaker 3: You got to be the one. You got to be the one screaming and yelling at the audience.
00:20:43
Speaker 1: When we threw this.
00:20:43
Speaker 3: Guy out, I got a standing ovation when I threw him out. I got messages from people saying, thank you for throwing him out, man. And we had cops. That cop Hey, let me tell you something. Man, that boy moved so fast.
00:21:00
Speaker 1: He was ready.
00:21:02
Speaker 4: He was a sandman from Apollo.
00:21:08
Speaker 3: But yeah, man, with you, James, man, like I think, too, because we're just older in the game, too. You're tired, man. You don't want to fight with an audience.
00:21:18
Speaker 1: It's a long drive.
00:21:19
Speaker 3: Man, it's a long drive to these places, man. And you get there.
00:21:23
Speaker 1: And why are you here?
00:21:25
Speaker 3: If you're going to get drunk and interrupt the show, you want to heck, why are you here?
00:21:29
Speaker 1: Go see somebody to do crowd work. Bro. Yes. You can interact with. And I'm not a diva, and I keep saying that. It ain't being a diva, big dog.
00:21:39
Speaker 4: It ain't being a diva at all, man. What they don't get is this. Yes, I look at when somebody screws with me. It's a free pass to screw with him. And the audience loves when you do that. But it screws up my rhythm. I have a set and I have to go back to where I was and try to put myself back to that moment where you go, oh, where was I?
00:22:01
Speaker 1: And how many times do you do that? Oh, where was I? And that's a poorly run rule.
00:22:07
Speaker 2: If they don't come up to that person and tell them, look, we don't do that.
00:22:11
Speaker 1: That's why I will say this.
00:22:13
Speaker 2: If I'm going to highlight some of the bad places, I ain't going to say their names.
00:22:16
Speaker 1: I'm going to definitely big up some of the great ones.
00:22:18
Speaker 2: McCurdy's don't play that. McCurdy's don't play that.
00:22:22
Speaker 3: That bouncer be waiting for you to do something bad.
00:22:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, bro. For real.
00:22:28
Speaker 3: This lady was in the front row, Jeff, on her phone. Let me tell you, I looked over at her.
00:22:34
Speaker 1: I looked at him. I looked back. She was gone. I didn't even see him throw her out.
00:22:39
Speaker 4: Nope.
00:22:39
Speaker 3: Just vanished. I was like, damn. Yeah, some clubs don't play, man.
00:22:46
Speaker 1: They don't play.
00:22:47
Speaker 3: Our home club, Orlando Funny Bone. If I say, hey, man, they got to go.
00:22:53
Speaker 2: Hey, they lucky because shout out my boy that used to work there years ago, Rashawn.
00:22:59
Speaker 3: Bruh!
00:23:00
Speaker 1: Used to yoke!
00:23:01
Speaker 3: Rashawn had glasses, but he didn't have one of the arms on him. I'd be like, Bashan, they got to go.
00:23:13
Speaker 1: Where they at, Ken? For real. He was coming down. Yolk.
00:23:19
Speaker 3: Throw you up out of there and not even be upset. That's the thing. Sometimes it ain't even the liquor. People are so like, just come sit and laugh.
00:23:30
Speaker 1: They don't respect anything. You can't teach it nowadays. They are so caught up in their own self-importance. That they don't care if they're interrupting it for everybody else. They really don't. It's just the way people are now.
00:23:42
Speaker 4: And I.
00:23:44
Speaker 1: Try to have fun with it.
00:23:46
Speaker 4: But it does, when I try to explain to somebody, they go, hey, do you like screwing with people?
00:23:51
Speaker 1: I really don't.
00:23:52
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm good at it. I just don't like it because it throws me out of my show.
00:23:58
Speaker 1: You want to do your show and do it the way you wrote it and do it.
00:24:01
Speaker 2: Here's another thing that where I'm at now when it comes to certain clubs, I can't work anymore. I just I'm not going to do it. There are great clubs. Now, I know I am not a household name, so I know my name does not sell tickets. So there are certain clubs that only work me on certain nights of the week. Certain clubs only work me on a Wednesday. If it was it's a proximity thing with that club. If I was closer to the club, I would not mind taking the date and just driving to the show, doing it on a Wednesday, and coming home.
00:24:28
Speaker 1: But it's so far away from me. Six-hour drive up and down. It's a six-hour drive, y'all. I don't want to do something I like for six hours. Nah. So I'm no longer working that club. Great club.
00:24:40
Speaker 2: They have nothing personal against it. But I'm not doing it, y'all. I can't drive that far. for that money anymore. I needed it back in the day when I was, you know, trying to raise my kids and doing this for the, whatever little change I could get and still working my nine to five, but no more for me.
00:24:57
Speaker 1: Thank y'all. And it ain't safe. It really ain't safe either.
00:25:04
Speaker 3: Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah, man. Hey, young comments. If you listen to, I, Man, let me be quiet.
00:25:13
Speaker 1: I don't know if young comics do this.
00:25:15
Speaker 3: Let me be quiet.
00:25:16
Speaker 1: We did this. When we were coming up, we took it all, man. We did it. We would do it. We took all of it. I said young comics. Yeah.
00:25:23
Speaker 4: You know, people are stuck in their ways. Like you, you gave me a gig and I had to drive. I forgot where it was. It was a room I'd never been to and I was excited to go to a new room.
00:25:31
Speaker 3: Yes.
00:25:32
Speaker 1: And I was like, all right, cool. Now, if that room had like eight people in it. Oh, it'd be horrible.
00:25:39
Speaker 4: I'd be going, I don't really feel like making, like if it was, why not? I was like, no, why not?
00:25:45
Speaker 1: Why?
00:25:48
Speaker 3: Why?
00:25:48
Speaker 1: Just get the nut out. Why?
00:25:50
Speaker 2: I don't even think that room is going anymore, but yeah, there's just certain rooms where there's a lot that goes into it.
00:25:55
Speaker 1: Okay.
00:25:55
Speaker 2: Money's going to be a big part of it. Not gonna lie, but is it going to be a great experience? Cause there's another club that we play that doesn't pay a ton of money, but that's, it's a kill box and we love it. And shout out to them, man. I'm not dissing anybody. I'm not, This ain't a shot, but shout out to Laugh Out Loud, man. I have a great time when I go there.
00:26:13
Speaker 1: I love that room. That's a great room, man. I haven't played that room in about two years. It's so good.
00:26:18
Speaker 4: I played it twice, and I remember going, man, I love the way this room is set up. I love the way the people are around you.
00:26:24
Speaker 1: Run by a comic.
00:26:25
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:26:26
Speaker 1: I hate rooms.
00:26:27
Speaker 4: Where people are like, I don't want to say they're far, but they're like 20 feet away.
00:26:32
Speaker 1: That's another horrible thing about a club.
00:26:34
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:26:35
Speaker 1: Or when the stage is 12 feet high. Yeah. And then they're 20 feet away. You're going, you're like on display. Yeah.
00:26:43
Speaker 2: For me, that's just my new rules, man. I love y'all, but I just, it's not worth it for me to be away from the family to do certain gigs anymore, man.
00:26:50
Speaker 1: I love y'all.
00:26:53
Speaker 3: And just fighting too, man. Just fighting the audiences, bro. It's like, and you know, and you know, it's not you cause you're funny. So, you know, it's not you, but man, like I, or, or some of them clubs will book your feature. And the feature's terrible because they got to use a local feature because they don't want to get a feature hotel room. And the feature's terrible. They're doing 30 minutes of crowd work and they think it's good because the audience is talking back to them. And then you get up there and you don't do crowd work. Now the audience want to talk.
00:27:28
Speaker 1: What do you do? I mean, this is something.
00:27:30
Speaker 4: That's a good question because this has happened to me a couple times where I get the feature booked.
00:27:35
Speaker 1: I talk to them.
00:27:36
Speaker 4: They don't care. They don't, you know, when I feature, I care. I'm like, hey, I'm, you know, I'm a good, I'm a supportive person. The person goes, ah, and they bomb. My last three features have bombed, like, heavy. And they just walk out. They don't, they just kind of like, oh, okay, I'm done. And they walk off stage and drop.
00:27:55
Speaker 2: Ken's told you the answer to this, and I agree with his answer. Ken has said, find yourself a good feature that you are comfortable working with.
00:28:04
Speaker 1: Okay. And that's your go-to.
00:28:06
Speaker 2: I mean, there was a reason that Ken had the Box of Chocolates tour. He found two guys that he liked to work with. There's a reason I used to travel with Tommy O'Neal. There's a reason I used to work with Miguel. There's a reason I used to work with Devin Steele.
00:28:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, you ain't got to be nice. I think a lot of cast is giving people feature days to be nice. You ain't got to be nice, man. And you should not be.
00:28:27
Speaker 1: Well, I burned that one out.
00:28:29
Speaker 4: I burned that out because, you know, the heart for me is no good deed goes unpunished.
00:28:33
Speaker 1: And I still keep doing it. But when you get slapped enough, you start thinking, man, you stop doing it.
00:28:39
Speaker 4: You got you got to stop.
00:28:41
Speaker 1: Right.
00:28:41
Speaker 2: And it's not being nice is you give people what they've worked for and what they've earned. If people haven't earned that spot, meaning they haven't consistently done well enough to be able to work those places, then that's not on you.
00:28:53
Speaker 1: They need to work harder if they want to work with you.
00:28:56
Speaker 2: So I would just find somebody that you like, find somebody you trust, and man, you stick with them. On that note, we got to take a short break. My people don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. This is Real Last Real Radio 104.1. Welcome back, everybody.
00:29:25
Speaker 1: And thank you.
00:29:26
Speaker 2: You are still listening to Real Laugh on Real Radio 104.1. We are your nightcap comedy. It's me, James John, your host, Ken Miller, a.k.a. The Godfather Orlando Comedy. And today he's also known as Z's because that.
00:29:39
Speaker 1: Boy is tired. Jeff, the Batman Kaufman from Kaufman and.
00:29:41
Speaker 2: Lynn, our official sponsors. They are your official personal injury attorneys. Now, Ken, you want to ask me something, man, because right now you are in a great financial situation.
00:29:50
Speaker 1: You are on tour. You're doing great for yourself. And you wanted to know something, man. Please ask us and we shall answer.
00:29:56
Speaker 3: So it's actually, excuse me, you and a bunch of comedians that it may affect, but that's why I wanted to get to you. Where are your comedy clips being played at on Sirius?
00:30:07
Speaker 1: Oh, Kevin Hart's.
00:30:08
Speaker 3: Did you hear about the Raw Dog comedy? So Sebastian Maniscalco just bought, I might have said his last name wrong, bought Raw Dog Comedy on SiriusXM. And apparently it had like 900 comedians on the platform and they just cut like 600. Yep. And so now comedians are on the Internet. Now, now that I said it, you're going to see it. I hashtag Sebastian Maniscalco. Bring the brain to come back. We make money off of this. So I didn't know if you were on Raw Dog Comedy as well. No.
00:30:38
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:30:38
Speaker 3: I saw a video for Carmen Morales video. And now, like, famous comedians are like, yo, dude, what are you doing? Like, you're taking money.
00:30:45
Speaker 1: That's a revenue stream for them. Yeah. Real one. Like, Devin is on a– not Raw Dog, I don't believe.
00:30:52
Speaker 4: Hold on, hold on, hold on. If I'm him, this ain't by accident. He's going, I want to make sure we have the best humor on here. And if you're getting cut because your stuff isn't the best, he can't be.
00:31:03
Speaker 1: Just cutting for the hell of it.
00:31:04
Speaker 2: But you're assuming that's what that is.
00:31:06
Speaker 1: And when I hear that, I don't– Well, why would he cut it?
00:31:09
Speaker 3: Well, I don't know. I don't know. But Raw Dog Comedy was more of the station for unknown comedians.
00:31:19
Speaker 1: Correct.
00:31:20
Speaker 3: For unknown comedians. So it's not like I feel like I don't know, Jeff.
00:31:27
Speaker 1: I don't know the story.
00:31:28
Speaker 3: I just know as a comic, you know how comics are broke. And if it wasn't going to mess up your money, why come in and cut it if you knew it wasn't going to mess with your money?
00:31:38
Speaker 1: You just said something.
00:31:39
Speaker 4: If it's not going to mess up your money. This obviously wasn't a big money-making venture for the company that owned it that he could afford to buy it. I mean, how rich do you think this dude is that he could buy a station? A station is expensive. I mean, it's like three houses. These aren't cheap. And he's thinking to himself, how do I make this more profitable? How do I cut and save money? You cut comics.
00:32:07
Speaker 2: That's what it was. That's what that is when you do that. You get paid through rotation, right? No, you get paid per clip, and it's a lot per clip. Every time they play you, it is $ 40 you get paid.
00:32:17
Speaker 1: That's what I mean. Yeah.
00:32:19
Speaker 4: So who's ever getting there is going to get $ 40 or whatever. Every time it's played. I get 40. That's what I'm saying to you. So if he's going to only put what he considers, let's say, the top of the tier so more people buy, subscribe, more people listen, more people pay for the average.
00:32:38
Speaker 1: No, I'm sorry, Jeff.
00:32:39
Speaker 4: You think he's just doing it so he can keep his money or you think he's doing it to him?
00:32:44
Speaker 1: Remind me what country we live in again?
00:32:46
Speaker 3: Now, Jeff, I don't know how true this is. This is the rumor about him. I don't know how true it is. This has been in the comedy world. He did a sold-out show at Madison Square Garden and paid his feature $ 100. No way. That's the word.
00:33:05
Speaker 1: No, he's Italian. He don't do that. Italians take care of business. I mean, I don't want to stereotype, but.
00:33:11
Speaker 3: Yeah, you stereotype like a mother.
00:33:13
Speaker 1: I am, but that's a good thing. Italians take care of people. They tip well. They do this. Especially this dude. He's... He's old school. You know what? Let me say this.
00:33:21
Speaker 2: I'm going to wait to hear more information, but that's exactly what that sounds like. I bought a new business, and the first thing I do is lay off. That sounds like business as usual.
00:33:29
Speaker 4: When you buy a club and you're looking to enhance it, you clean house sometimes.
00:33:33
Speaker 1: You get rid of... That's what I'm saying. It's a money-saving thing that he's doing.
00:33:38
Speaker 2: No, no.
00:33:38
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about saving money. You're trying to build something better. Nah. You're making it sound nice. That's not what that is. No, I'm not saying it's nice. I'm saying that some people are going to lose... Like when you buy a law firm, I'll give you an example.
00:33:50
Speaker 4: If somebody buys a law firm, they come in and they get rid of the garbage people quickly.
00:33:57
Speaker 1: They go, listen. Or they get rid of the people making the most money. If they're not delivering, if they're not bringing in.
00:34:04
Speaker 2: I don't believe that either because I've seen it happen in companies I was at. They don't necessarily get rid of the bad people. They're getting rid of the people that are making the most money.
00:34:12
Speaker 1: Do you listen to Raw Dog? I don't. I don't listen to Sirius.
00:34:16
Speaker 3: Yeah. I listen to Kevin Hart. I don't listen to Raw. I listen to Kevin Hart.
00:34:21
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:34:22
Speaker 4: I mean, when I look at somebody who does something like this, I guarantee you're going to find something online that's going to say what his intentions are for this.
00:34:31
Speaker 1: He wants to make this a premier thing. If you say so. No, I got a feeling that's what.
00:34:38
Speaker 3: I feel like maybe with the publicity now, ain't nobody buying it.
00:34:42
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:34:43
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
00:34:46
Speaker 1: I saw him sell out like six months in Vegas. I'm going to see him.
00:34:50
Speaker 3: Bro, that dude's funny. That dude is hilarious. But I brought it up because I know James just signed on with Sirius, so I didn't know if it had anything to do with you, like with a lot of our friends.
00:35:02
Speaker 1: Hold on, let's talk about something.
00:35:04
Speaker 4: James and I shot a video the other day, and we shot one that got, how much did the first one get?
00:35:11
Speaker 1: Like 160,000 views.
00:35:13
Speaker 4: And I remember Devin go, we got to shoot another one. And I thought this one was better.
00:35:19
Speaker 1: But there's a difference. Do you know the difference? Do you know the difference? Please tell me.
00:35:25
Speaker 2: The first one we shot had to do with Disney. Theme park comedians, what we normally do. This one had nothing to do with it, but you have to keep this in mind. When you're building a new property, meaning a new series of videos, you got to be patient. You got to put that first one out there. Don't look back. Consistently keep doing it. Now, if you and I keep doing it like we promised, like we'll do a few of them every time I come see you, it will grow.
00:35:49
Speaker 1: It will get bigger. But you can't expect that same. I don't know the numbers on it. I just thought this was funnier. Never do that.
00:35:58
Speaker 2: I've learned that in my, when it comes to making social media, the one you invest your heart in, the one you're like, babe, it's going to be funny.
00:36:04
Speaker 1: Ask Ken. No, I just want to do nothing. I just saw it come across my feed and I was like, man, that's a funny video. That's hilarious. Yeah, it was very good. It got it. I'm going to it now. I got a lot of likes. I'm sorry. I got a lot of people who liked it. But he didn't get as much that first one that had to do with theme park comedians. I thought it was funny. I was laughing.
00:36:29
Speaker 4: I think it was cut perfect. I think Dave did a good job cutting this thing. That's the one thing about this stuff.
00:36:35
Speaker 1: You never know. You look at things, oh, well, this one got this. Because I'm doing a show. I'm now on the beat.
00:36:41
Speaker 4: And Kelly came in and we shot like 12 things.
00:36:47
Speaker 1: And it was funny.
00:36:48
Speaker 4: He does the morning show. he's the morning drive dude and he's a good dude. And you know what I really love? I love the people I'm working with now.
00:36:57
Speaker 1: Good.
00:36:58
Speaker 4: And I think that's hard to say that sometimes, you know, when you're working with people who.
00:37:03
Speaker 1: Haven't, how can I say this?
00:37:04
Speaker 4: Haven't been spoiled by a fan base that, you know, they want to, they want to be better. They want it to, they want it to do more. They just don't think that they can just show up and it's going to work for them. And I've had fun. I got to shoot with Mel today, Mel Taylor. And we did like 15 and they were funny. I mean, you know, once you work with somebody for a little bit, they get better. So now I've, I'm on the beat and I'm on a one-on-one and those are the only, um, uh, let's just say, uh, jocks I'm working with now. So outside of our stuff, which is fun.
00:37:40
Speaker 2: Which is very fun, by the way, I'm glad, I'm glad to hear it, man. So, uh, I'm not, I can't even talk.
00:37:47
Speaker 3: Right.
00:37:48
Speaker 1: Ken, When it comes to that, bro, I'm just saying, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know either.
00:37:54
Speaker 3: I guess I'm with you, James. Like I said, I asked because I know you just signed on. And, you know, the story ain't came out yet. It's comedians making videos saying, hey, you know, Sebastian, do something about it. But like I just said, I don't know, man. I don't know.
00:38:10
Speaker 1: We don't know. We don't know.
00:38:11
Speaker 4: They might be having shows. They might be going to an hour long podcast on it. They could be doing they could be completely revamping it.
00:38:17
Speaker 1: All that's dope.
00:38:18
Speaker 2: And here's what I'll say. Because it sounds like business as usual to me, but I hope I'm wrong. I hope I hear more information and stuff coming out. But I do know, no matter what, all these comics' livelihood and their pay just got cut considerably. Because there's people, man, who are making great money on Sears Radio. When that stuff's played, that's money in your pocket.
00:38:40
Speaker 1: Cha-ching. I heard Preacher the other day five times.
00:38:44
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:38:45
Speaker 1: Bro. Well, that's Preacher, too, though. That's Preacher, too. You know, he's a known entity. I know him.
00:38:53
Speaker 3: They know me.
00:38:55
Speaker 1: That's what it is. You know, talk to him.
00:39:00
Speaker 4: I heard Carrot Top got back on. I heard Carrot Top's getting back on stage.
00:39:04
Speaker 3: Good.
00:39:05
Speaker 1: He already played his thing.
00:39:07
Speaker 2: That's a dude. That's a dude who just let that dude. Let that dude live his life, man. I mean, he ain't hurt anybody. He ain't hurt anybody. People just look at him like like he a bank vault.
00:39:20
Speaker 4: He's Scrooge McDuck sitting there throwing his money in the air. I've met this dude. He's a good dude. He's got his preferences. But what they call him out on, that's silly.
00:39:34
Speaker 1: I think it's silly too, man. They go, like Grindr. Everyone who doesn't know what Grindr is is offended. I go, do you know what Grindr is? They know what it is. It's in the name. You don't have to look too far.
00:39:47
Speaker 3: This isn't eHarmony. Them segways wild in the day, bro.
00:39:53
Speaker 1: I know.
00:39:53
Speaker 3: I don't want to date.
00:39:57
Speaker 1: You. We got some good stuff coming. Hey, I want to make sure I give you guys.
00:40:07
Speaker 1: This is funny. I'm going to give a quick update.
00:40:09
Speaker 2: We were talking about this in a previous segment about I'm not going to do certain things anymore when it comes to comedy, and I'm not a diva. There's a guy trying to get me to travel six hours in one night And he's like, will you do it for this?
00:40:22
Speaker 3: No.
00:40:24
Speaker 1: How many miles is that? That's about 400, right? Yeah. Do you know the government pays, you know, when you travel, when you work for a company, it's 71 cents a mile. Yeah.
00:40:39
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:40:39
Speaker 4: And you're going both ways. So you're not even getting paid the cost of travel.
00:40:44
Speaker 2: No.
00:40:45
Speaker 1: No, I'm not, man. I'm going to tell you this, y'all.
00:40:47
Speaker 2: And that, Kenneth's saying it. He said it right. That's dangerous at my age to be driving six hours, man.
00:40:52
Speaker 1: I've seen you drive at night.
00:40:54
Speaker 4: No.
00:40:54
Speaker 1: Yes, you have. Yes, you have. I'm not doing it anymore. No, we ain't doing it. I'm not doing it.
00:40:59
Speaker 2: Hey, before I go, let's end on a great positive note. Have all these wonderful people come out and support us.
00:41:04
Speaker 1: So, Mr.
00:41:05
Speaker 2: Jeff Corbin, tell us what you got coming up, man, so people can come out and see you and listen to you.
00:41:09
Speaker 1: This Saturday, I've got Andrew McCarthy on my show. I'm excited.
00:41:13
Speaker 3: I know.
00:41:14
Speaker 4: I love that dude. He's just a, he's a, he's a solid dude. Enjoy the hell out of it. He has this movie called Orion that just hit the theaters. He's a, it's one of those thrillers where he's like a interrogator, a space interrogator.
00:41:27
Speaker 1: I love it. It's his first sci-fi movie ever.
00:41:28
Speaker 4: I said, how do you choose the, I don't know. It's fun conversation. You listen to it on Saturday. You'll appreciate it.
00:41:35
Speaker 1: That's dope. And Mr.
00:41:36
Speaker 2: Ken Miller, y'all make sure you go. I mean, first off, Jeff, y'all go check him out under old podcast. on all streaming services. Y'all go check that out. Great show.
00:41:45
Speaker 3: Mr. K.
00:41:45
Speaker 1: Miller, what you got coming up? The people should go and support my brother.
00:41:49
Speaker 3: Man, this weekend, Cocoa Beach for RMJS Weeks. The shows are sold out. But hey, October 17th, I am doing a TED Talk, man. You can go on my Facebook page and get tickets. If you use the code word MIL30, M-I-L-L-3-0, you can get 30% off of tickets. Come see the kids.
00:42:11
Speaker 1: Nice, man.
00:42:12
Speaker 2: If you guys are looking to see James, you can come see me Saturday in Winter Park. I'll be doing a gig with Absar Siddiqui.
00:42:17
Speaker 1: That's right.
00:42:18
Speaker 2: Y'all come check us out. Very funny man. It's close by to Orlando. Y'all look at my social media. You got all the details you want. Come out there and let me put some comedy in your life. As always, thank y'all so much, man, for tuning in. I don't say this enough. We appreciate all the fans. that listen to us. You actually come up to me and say, I listened to you on real radio when I was- All the time.
00:42:38
Speaker 1: Yes, they do.
00:42:39
Speaker 3: All the time. I just did Fit Life Foods and the kid in there was like, are you Ken?
00:42:45
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah. He said, man, I know your voice. That's- I love that. I know that voice.
00:42:50
Speaker 3: Hey, man.
00:42:50
Speaker 1: I know that voice, man.
00:42:52
Speaker 3: Yeah, man.
00:42:53
Speaker 1: Shout out to that kid.
00:42:53
Speaker 3: I forgot your name. I'm sorry, Playboy. But we are off too, man. The crazy thing is we off and the team that's playing Thursday, they trash.
00:43:04
Speaker 1: We could have did the show.
00:43:06
Speaker 3: Would y'all rather listen to Tampa Bay Bucks game or listen to Real Louds? That's crazy, bro.
00:43:11
Speaker 1: Yeah, who paid for that? Who paid for that? Y'all could have gave us that money.
00:43:16
Speaker 3: We better, yo.
00:43:18
Speaker 1: Bro, that's... Amen.
00:43:24
Speaker 2: Thank you all so much for listening to us. On behalf of our wonderful sponsor, Mr. Jeff, the Batman Coffin, that is Ken Miller, the Godfather of Orlando Comedy. I am James, your host. Appreciate you all listening. We'll be back next week. Ken, tell them what to do.
00:43:37
Speaker 3: Take your ass to bed and go Carolina Panthers, number one in the division.
