00:00:07
Speaker 1: What's up everybody and thank you because you have just tuned in a real laugh on real radio 104.1 i'm your host tonight mr james john comedian extraordinaire i am joined in virtual studio with my good friend the godfather of orlando comedy you know him as ken miller but tonight he is are you ready for some football also our official sponsor from kaufman and lynn your official Personal injury attorneys in Orlando. They've been representing and winning for the good people of Orlando for over 20 years. If you want more information on them, just go to when you need us dot com. And Ken has a number he's going to share with you that you can call to get in touch with him.
00:00:44
Speaker 2: Ken, what's that phone number?
00:00:46
Speaker 3: 407-500-JEFF. 407-500-JEFF. Car accident, slip or fall, kick in the ass. And something that just happened to me and my wife.
00:00:55
Speaker 2: Call Jeff Kaufman. There you go. The man, the myth, the legend, himself, Mr. Coffin, is here. But before we talk to Mr.
00:01:02
Speaker 1: Coffin about something very special that he was a part of in New York, Ken Miller, that's right, the man, the myth, the legend, just got something brand new that he's wearing today.
00:01:13
Speaker 2: Ken, what you got, man? What they bring you?
00:01:15
Speaker 3: Man, shout out to the VA, baby. Yeah. I finally got some new glasses. I don't think I've had new glasses since before COVID.
00:01:28
Speaker 2: Damn, Ken, you're supposed to wear glasses every year.
00:01:30
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think yet, because my vision is, as they say in French, très terrible. I ain't never spoke French, dog.
00:01:42
Speaker 2: But you know what's funny? Yeah. My prescription is pretty much the same. Oh, you're very blessed, Dan. Yeah. They're government glasses, too. Yeah, they're pretty much the same. He got those 30 years ago. Same frames. So, yeah.
00:01:54
Speaker 3: So what's funny is my other frames are actually Versace. So these frames cost me like $ 600.
00:02:03
Speaker 1: But I have my work insurance to get them. So when I went to the.
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Speaker 3: VA, they were like, oh, we got some frames for you. We got bed frame. We got time frame.
00:02:16
Speaker 2: OJ got framed. Oh, yeah. Which one do you want? So I got the OJ got frame glasses. I like them. Come with a white Bronco. Yeah, come with a white Bronco and some exercise pants. And one glove. Damn.
00:02:31
Speaker 3: But yeah, Jeff, these are my first glasses in like six years. I tried contacts. Contacts ain't my thing.
00:02:37
Speaker 1: No.
00:02:38
Speaker 3: I'm not a big contact guy, but yeah, man, I've always had glasses, so I'm trying to get my eyes used to them so I'm aware for the rest of the night to see what's up.
00:02:44
Speaker 2: Good for you, brother. There you go, man. Ken got some new glasses. I know my lens taken out. I went to Philadelphia. Oh, yes, right, Jeff.
00:02:51
Speaker 1: Ken's got the Contra lens. The Contra laser. The laser from Contra. You know what I'm talking about? Up, down, up, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, B, A.
00:03:01
Speaker 2: Yo. Hey, Jeff, that was like two years ago, right? Yeah. How's your vision been since? 2020. That's great.
00:03:09
Speaker 4: Phil Lutowski took care of me. And I want you to know something. I didn't get any benefit. I didn't get any discounts because I'm on the radio. I didn't ask for any.
00:03:16
Speaker 2: Really?
00:03:17
Speaker 4: I'll tell you what. They said to me, they said, you're too old for laser. So that Austin Power Laser, they can't use on me. So what happened was the guy says, well, we can take your lenses out of your eyes.
00:03:27
Speaker 2: I go, what do you mean?
00:03:28
Speaker 4: Well, we take the actual lens out of your eye and we replace it with an artificial one. And he goes, you'll never get cataracts. You'll see the same for the rest of your life. They can do anything nowadays, man.
00:03:39
Speaker 5: Pop, pop.
00:03:40
Speaker 2: Pop, pop, baby. Yeah. It took 15 minutes to put one in, and then two weeks later, put the other one in. It only took 15 minutes to do that?
00:03:49
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:03:49
Speaker 2: I've had oil changes.
00:03:51
Speaker 4: The 20-minute oil change was longer than how long they did my eyes.
00:03:55
Speaker 1: I tell people when it comes to getting a vasectomy, it only took 30 minutes to change me forever.
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Speaker 2: 30 minutes. Did you meet the doctor beforehand?
00:04:03
Speaker 5: Yeah.
00:04:04
Speaker 2: You did? Yeah, I did. Did you check if he had shaky hands? I did.
00:04:07
Speaker 6: Put your hands out in front of you. I want to make sure he didn't have cold hands. I throw him a baseball and make sure he catches it.
00:04:20
Speaker 2: Nope. Have I told you that story, Jeff? That's why you said that?
00:04:24
Speaker 5: No.
00:04:24
Speaker 2: What are you talking about?
00:04:25
Speaker 3: I have played every sport imaginable as a kid. Baseball is the only sport I didn't make the team. And I'm going to tell you why. My vision has always been bad. I'm near and farsighted. Like I can't see close or far. The coach, I'm not making this up, James. He was less than five feet away from me. He threw an under soft pitch to me. And I was like, he says, yeah, we don't need.
00:04:54
Speaker 2: You.
00:04:54
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Baseball for you. He said, hey, you see that basketball court?
00:04:59
Speaker 2: You tall. Gone up there. Go over there, man. Yeah, I didn't know that. Bro, I didn't know you couldn't see the ball, bro. I'm sorry. Bro, in basketball, I do.
00:05:11
Speaker 3: My coach always thought I couldn't catch because they would throw me the ball and I would bat it down and then get it.
00:05:19
Speaker 2: No, I just couldn't see it. Couldn't see it. I couldn't see it.
00:05:22
Speaker 3: When I would wear my goggles hooping, I'm dropping 20-10. If I didn't have my glasses on, they were like, man, come sit on the bench because when you throw me the ball, I'll be like.
00:05:32
Speaker 2: You can't see it. Like a dodgeball.
00:05:35
Speaker 1: I'm playing dodgeball with that thing. When I had my glasses on, if I wore my goggles, I was a great ball player. But I can't see, bro. Like, I cannot see.
00:05:47
Speaker 2: For real.
00:05:48
Speaker 3: When I left the VA last week, bro, they gave me a dog and a stick. They was like, damn, take both of these. They take both of these.
00:05:56
Speaker 2: Hey, James, I got it home.
00:05:58
Speaker 1: I was like, gotta be superstitious.
00:06:05
Speaker 2: They were like, you're blind, for real. My brother said, is she giving money?
00:06:11
Speaker 1: Yo, they were like, hey. Hey, when I first met Sean, I was like that.
00:06:17
Speaker 2: Yo, hey, she fine. That's funny. Touching the arm. Oh, she fine. Oh, you fine. I'm blind, bro. I'm blind as it must.
00:06:28
Speaker 1: At night, I should not be driving at night. For real, I shouldn't be driving. I'm telling you, the reason I drive good at night. You should have that problem. I know what you're talking about. I know what you're talking about. Because the lights, I don't know if it's the depth perception. It messes up your depth perception when you're on the road. How close is that? Bro, but you know when I do drive.
00:06:48
Speaker 2: Good when you're on that Yeah.
00:06:52
Speaker 5: 2020.
00:06:52
Speaker 1: That crown give me 2020, baby.
00:06:57
Speaker 2: Hey. I got crown.
00:07:00
Speaker 3: That crown give me 2020, bro. James, I know we want to talk about some nostalgia. Go ahead. I want to talk about Jeff's New York thing, but it made me think about the drinking and driving. Have you seen the video when the kids are like, how did Gen X and Millennials get home?
00:07:18
Speaker 2: And the guy's like, yo, we drove drunk. He said, I know it's bad. It's bad. If you say to a kid, you know how old somebody is, you go, you ever bite a steering wheel? They go, what?
00:07:31
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:07:31
Speaker 2: You know when you were too tired? Yeah. Bro. Hit the steering wheel. The kid ain't never been a steering wheel.
00:07:38
Speaker 5: Nope.
00:07:38
Speaker 2: Nope. They look at you and go, kind of tricks to stay up, man. We had to drive sleepy, man. That's right. Seatbelts. I remember. What the hell are you talking about? We that old. I remember when it became a law to wear the seatbelt. Remember that? Bro, I remember that.
00:07:56
Speaker 4: How many kids could you stick in the back of a pickup truck?
00:07:59
Speaker 2: Remember that? Bro, in the country? Are you kidding me? We all did.
00:08:03
Speaker 1: James, I got to put you on my reels list, bro. You are on my reels list, but I got to see more of my reels. This is in the 80s. I said the 80s be wildin'. This dude was like, yeah, so now.
00:08:15
Speaker 3: We can't just sit in our truck, have a couple of beers before we.
00:08:18
Speaker 2: Get home from work.
00:08:20
Speaker 3: And one lady was like, now they're making us wear seatbelts. Next thing you know, by the end of the 80s, we're going to be a communist country.
00:08:29
Speaker 1: If I find a video, James, I will send it to you. She was like, we're going to be a communist country. They want us to wear seatbelts.
00:08:36
Speaker 2: We can't drink a.
00:08:37
Speaker 1: Couple of beers and drive home after a hard day's work.
00:08:40
Speaker 2: What the hell does America come to, James? People used to drink with an open container like it wasn't nothing. Y'all remember that? Remember one hand on the wheel and the other hand on their beer. Yeah, bro. That was a thing.
00:08:51
Speaker 4: This is the use to hold the beer like this.
00:08:53
Speaker 2: Like this. Yeah. Like the claw, you know, bro. Story on that beer.
00:08:58
Speaker 1: My uncles would stop by the liquor store and get the tall boy beer with the with the brown bag on it. Y'all don't talk about bro and be like, all right, let's go, kids.
00:09:10
Speaker 2: I don't know.
00:09:11
Speaker 1: And the crazy thing is, our uncles, our daddies, our granddaddies drank that beer and that Mad Dog. And them boys lived to be 85, 90 years old.
00:09:19
Speaker 2: 90-something, yeah. Dog. They had real gluten back then. Bro, it's people right now.
00:09:25
Speaker 3: Hey, Jeff, I know people right now, and they're 35, 40 years old, get kidney transplant, B. But our grandparents was drinking that hardcore as moonshine, bro.
00:09:37
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
00:09:38
Speaker 2: Hooch out.
00:09:40
Speaker 4: Yeah, they didn't have a weed now. We got plastics in our brain. We got stuff that they didn't have. They're testing people's brains and finding plastic in it.
00:09:51
Speaker 1: Bro, I was on a cruise ship and people from Europe were on our cruise ships looking at us crazy because of what the FDA lets us eat.
00:09:58
Speaker 2: What's approved for us to put in? our food.
00:10:00
Speaker 1: They're like, you can't do that overseas. They won't let you sell some of the American products in their grocery store.
00:10:06
Speaker 2: You got to make a whole new product. There's no corn syrup.
00:10:09
Speaker 6: No, they don't play that over there, man. They got real Coca-Cola there. The stuff we grew up on.
00:10:14
Speaker 2: Not the stuff they got now.
00:10:16
Speaker 1: Man, that's the only thing I can get James to drink at Corona is a Mexican Coke.
00:10:21
Speaker 2: Bro. Tell me Mexican Coke ain't delicious.
00:10:27
Speaker 1: James will drink three of them things.
00:10:31
Speaker 2: I will.
00:10:32
Speaker 1: James is the only cat I know caffeine don't affect James.
00:10:35
Speaker 2: We went to breakfast one day. James had 10 cups of coffee. Yep. I know there's one coffee that affects him. Bro. Not Bustelo.
00:10:45
Speaker 1: No, Bustelo I got right now. I just had Bustelo. Vietnamese coffee is basically Heron. Where is that?
00:10:52
Speaker 2: I need one. They got one downtown, Jeff?
00:10:54
Speaker 5: Yes.
00:10:55
Speaker 2: They have one on Colonial right across from Starbucks. It's delicious, first off.
00:10:59
Speaker 1: It's basically a strong espresso with condensed milk. It is a beautiful drink. But, bro, me and Jeff went back in time.
00:11:09
Speaker 2: Bro, we did two hours of show in an hour. In an hour. We're like, bro, we had a flux capacitor in that coffee.
00:11:15
Speaker 6: My producer, I'm going, he goes, you knocked out all five shows.
00:11:18
Speaker 2: We're like, what? 45 minutes? Bro.
00:11:21
Speaker 1: And now we drink it all the time. We got a problem, Jeff. You know you're going to have to go to rehab at some point.
00:11:26
Speaker 2: Rehab.
00:11:27
Speaker 3: I don't want nothing that's going to have me. I have to do caffeine early in the day. Are you thinking of the caffeine? Yeah, if I do any caffeine, let's say after six.
00:11:41
Speaker 1: Really?
00:11:41
Speaker 2: I need a good dinner.
00:11:45
Speaker 4: If I need a big dinner, like a good fat dinner, I need a cup of coffee at the end of it.
00:11:49
Speaker 2: Me too. Just bring me down.
00:11:53
Speaker 3: Just like, man, I'll be on my lunch. So I take like two lunch breaks, right? Because my supervisor ain't listening. So at noon, I sneak off to get food and I eat at noon, right? But then I take my real lunch break around like 3.30 or 4.00.
00:12:09
Speaker 2: So why are you, why are you going to tell me that? Cause you, you always tell me, no, no, I, I ain't got lunch here. I'm like Ken's manager. He, you don't tell me that. I don't eat. Thank you, James. He ain't listening. He heard lunch.
00:12:24
Speaker 1: He don't go somewhere for a long time.
00:12:26
Speaker 2: He goes, you being a white woman. Yeah. y'all gonna y'all gonna go where'd i get these exercise bands.
00:12:35
Speaker 1: Yo i love you boy hey it's it'll be old men at corona smoking cigars drinking coffee at like noon yeah yeah especially latin.
00:12:49
Speaker 2: Yeah bro i'm like well i know they breast.
00:12:52
Speaker 4: Stink they don't care that's what happens you get old you don't care you and you stop pressing anybody anymore You ain't lying.
00:12:59
Speaker 2: Jeff ain't lying about that. You stop caring. Because I'm that old. Comfortable pants, comfortable shoes. You don't care about anything anymore.
00:13:05
Speaker 1: Man, Jeff, look here. I wore a pair of sketches on stage the other night. My mom was mad at me. She's mad for real.
00:13:11
Speaker 3: She's like, I know you ain't got them sketches on. So because the Wicks meet and greets be 90 minutes to three on your feet.
00:13:17
Speaker 2: Yeah, man. I had Jeff. I will. Your joy is the first two nights. Night three, bro.
00:13:23
Speaker 1: I had to switch over to some sketches. I was like, don't. I got two pair of Jordans. The pair that Jeff got me, a pair that Dwayne got me. I find a shirt and I pair up the shirt because you know I got the statement team. So I paired a shirt up with, so Jeff, all your shirts matched what I had this weekend.
00:13:43
Speaker 2: So it was all Jeff. But Saturday? Look at man. Look at dog. I had on some sketches. I was, I was walking on clouds, baby.
00:13:55
Speaker 1: I'm all about being comfortable.
00:14:01
Speaker 2: Me too. Me too.
00:14:03
Speaker 4: Hey, I was, I was in a steak place. I went to a fat dinner Saturday night. I walked in and I went casual, but I wore a pair of Jordan threes and we go to sit down and everyone's dressed really good. And they're looking at me going, I'm just kind of going low. And the guy says to me, he sees me. Ooh, nice trees, man.
00:14:21
Speaker 2: Yeah. You know, the comment about the ladies, you know, the comment about this guy who looked like he was clean. He just made sneakers. That's right. All the time. On that note, guys, don't go anywhere. We're going to take a short little break.
00:14:33
Speaker 1: This is still Real Life on Real Radio 104.1. You are still listening to Real Laughs on Real Radio 104.1. I'm your host, James John. That is comedian Ken Miller, the godfather of Orlando comedy, but today he is, are you ready for some football? Our official sponsor, Jeff the Batman Coffin is here, and I would like to give Jeff his flowers, because he got to do something that was really an amazing honor, if I may say so myself in New York, my friend. So Jeff, I'm going to clap for you first off, and I would like you to share with our audience what you got to do this past week.
00:15:12
Speaker 2: Yeah. You know, I remember we all know where we were at 9-11. Yes. And I had gone.
00:15:17
Speaker 4: Through like 18 really bad days in a row. And then that happened and that gave me perspective. Whatever I'm complaining about, I got nothing compared to the family, to the people who died, all this other thing. And eight years later, I realized there was no really quality comic book or graphic novel made.
00:15:37
Speaker 2: About 9-11 and the tragedy.
00:15:38
Speaker 4: They had a little guest appearance on Spider-Man, but nothing of that really dealt with it. And it took me five years to find an artist who was willing to draw the book that I wanted to write.
00:15:49
Speaker 2: So I put out the book. It was called 9-11, a graphic novel. And the book scared the hell out of me.
00:15:54
Speaker 4: Because everywhere I went, I was expecting somebody to punch me in the mouth just because they were upset. Not because the book wasn't good or it meant something. So for about a year or two, I'm on the road with this book. And I sold a bunch of them. And You know, but it was one of those things that just left, that I didn't think about it anymore. I said, okay, I did a good thing. I put the word out. About four months ago, I got a call from the director of the 9-11 Museum. And they said, hey, Jeff, we're doing an exhibit about comic books and how it dealt with 9-11, and we'd like to feature your book. It's an 18-month exhibit.
00:16:28
Speaker 2: I'm like, what?
00:16:30
Speaker 4: And they go, yeah, in the 9-11 Museum, you need to sign the rights over, too, so that we can blow up pages in your book and make them real big because we think it's important. And when she said it to me, I said, wow. And people tell me all the time they want to do something, and it falls through. So I don't really take it that serious. So she sent me some docs. I signed them.
00:16:53
Speaker 2: And about two weeks ago, I got a call and go, Jeff, we opened the exhibit early. They're loving it. Your piece is important. It's causing a lot of emotions and everything else. What are you talking about? She goes, it's up.
00:17:06
Speaker 4: So I flew to New York four days later because I had to see this. And I had never been to the 9-11 Museum. And if you go out there, where the buildings were, they're now huge holes.
00:17:20
Speaker 2: They're called pits. And they're waterfalls.
00:17:23
Speaker 4: And they light them up, and the whole base of the building are gone. And in the middle is the museum. And the director walks me down there. And it's immense.
00:17:37
Speaker 2: And it's scary. And it's sick. And everything about it gets you going. All the emotions.
00:17:43
Speaker 4: The emotions of everything. I haven't seen my stuff yet. And I can see the looks on these people's faces. And you can tell some of them have lost people, some of them in this. And they walk me down to this area. And I can see the page from my book. It's that big. I can see it from like 30 feet away. And the minute I see it, I'm like, oh, Lord, because I thought it would just be, hey, they're going to have a little book or something else. I didn't know it would be like three feet by four feet. And I see Spider-Man on one side and I see my book on the other. And I'm standing there and it's got this big black plate, probably about the size of a sheet of paper. You know, when you put like those little things with it by this person, it's real small and The plate itself was as big as I expected the artwork to be. And I'm staring at it, and I didn't realize the page. I couldn't understand why she chose that page. And I'd forgotten, as you blow it up, the character, you could see the towers in the character's eyes.
00:18:44
Speaker 2: In the reflection of his eyes. Yeah.
00:18:46
Speaker 4: And when I wrote it, that was my instruction. But when it's comic book size, you don't see it that well. So it wasn't in my mind until it was blown up. And I'm standing there, and I'm just like... this is, this is, this is for real. And, you know, I'm walking around there stunned anyway. It's a ridiculous honor to be in there. And I asked her, I said, why, why, why did you, how did my book get here? And she goes, well, we have two experts here, our nine 11 experts. And they went out and found experts in the field. And they said, we want everything that's ever been done about nine 11 and comic books and independence. And your book was amazing. one of the ones they said, you have.
00:19:26
Speaker 2: To read this. And I was like, okay.
00:19:32
Speaker 4: But, you know, in my whole comic book career, nothing, they could make a movie and it wouldn't have been as important to know that this book meant something to people. You know, you write a comic book and it means enough that, and I, like I said, I was scared to death.
00:19:48
Speaker 2: I thought I was going to insult people.
00:19:50
Speaker 4: It was about a hero and a villain who had people in the towers when they went down. I was going, people are not going to think I took it serious. Every word I wrote, they're going to interpret it in a different way. No good deed goes unpunished. There are so many things that go through my head. Seeing it there said to me, okay, I did it. It did exactly what I expected it to do. It affected people in a positive way. It was a good reminder to people. But I basically had a problem talking all day. I was just walking around kind of.
00:20:24
Speaker 2: In the stupor.
00:20:25
Speaker 4: And I've had some decent successes in my life. But this one was just... And I know we're a funny show, but I was blown away. I still am walking around kind of like going, Did that happen, or is it just like a story, like the time I served in the military?
00:20:42
Speaker 2: Is it real?
00:20:43
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
00:20:44
Speaker 2: Or does it just feel like a story?
00:20:46
Speaker 1: I don't even have the words to say properly congratulations and what an honor it was, Jeff, for you to be able to do that, man.
00:20:51
Speaker 4: It's just huge to know that something that you created is affecting people in a positive way.
00:20:58
Speaker 1: Yes.
00:20:59
Speaker 2: So, yeah. I didn't want to talk about it too much until it happened.
00:21:05
Speaker 1: But that is the parallel between comedy and comic book creation. I do think laughter is medicine and I do think comic books educate and heal. So some of the same things that we do in comedy, same things you get to do in comic books, man. So I'm just proud of you. Congratulations again, man. That's a huge honor. That's a huge honor, bro.
00:21:27
Speaker 2: It's a huge honor. Huge honor, man.
00:21:32
Speaker 1: It's crazy, man. I was just talking to a friend of mine the other day. My army buddy, we just reconnected like two years ago. He was like my buddy, buddy, man. Jeff will tell you this, man.
00:21:45
Speaker 3: Maybe, I don't know how close you are with your unit, but a lot of times you'll have a group or a chunk of people who are just like your friends.
00:21:55
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? We called ourselves Little Mafia, like Junior Mafia. Okay, yeah.
00:22:01
Speaker 3: And we all worked in the same rat rig. And this was my guy. His name's Garrett. Shout out to Garrett Wisniewski. And he left and went to Panama.
00:22:11
Speaker 2: That is a military name. Garrett Wisniewski.
00:22:14
Speaker 3: Wisniewski is a military name like a mother. But yeah, man, G left and went to Panama. And I hadn't talked to him for I think he left.
00:22:22
Speaker 2: In like 98. He moved to Panama. No, he got stationed in Panama. Okay, got it.
00:22:29
Speaker 1: And we just recently reconnected like a couple of years ago. We hadn't talked in years, but he was like, you know, that's just how women take a note for men. We cannot talk to each other for 30 years and then we'll be good. And then next thing you know, we're back together again. But yeah, man, we were talking about 9-11 and he didn't know I was stationed in D.C. at 9-11.
00:22:52
Speaker 2: I didn't realize that either, kid. Yeah, I was eight miles from the Pentagon. I live eight miles from the Pentagon, man.
00:23:00
Speaker 3: And what's surreal for me is a year later, I had to travel with George Bush to 9-11 Memorial the year after 9-11. I took that trip for selfish reasons.
00:23:14
Speaker 2: One, I had never been to New York. So I'm like, I'm going to New York with the president.
00:23:20
Speaker 3: But when you got up there and you saw all those families like you, Jeff, I was just.
00:23:24
Speaker 2: Like, Yeah. It hits you. The reality hit.
00:23:28
Speaker 1: All those selfish reasons just left me, bro. Like the reality, James, the reality hit. And I was just like, yo, what also hit for me was I'm eight miles from the Pentagon.
00:23:41
Speaker 2: What if that plane shifted? Yep. And hit my neighborhood. You know what I'm saying? Or hit another neighborhood. You know what I mean?
00:23:50
Speaker 3: Or the plane or, you know, because they started grounding planes once all this stuff started happening.
00:23:56
Speaker 2: We didn't know what was going on. You know what I mean? And James, that day I was bandaged up. I had surgery.
00:24:05
Speaker 3: So I wake up and this is doing a dial up internet days. I log into Yahoo and this is how high I was. I was so high on Percocets. My first wife at the time, I says, Hey, where is the world trade center she was like why i said a plane hit it she says no it didn't i said i'm telling you i know i'm on perks yeah but y'all bro we cut the news on as soon as we cut the news on the second plane hit wow i go into soldier mode i'm i'm this is during the pager days i'm paging my balls like hey do i need to come in he said you can't come in mummy You wrapped up like the mummy.
00:24:43
Speaker 2: How you going to get in? You didn't realize. You're like, no, I'm coming in.
00:24:47
Speaker 3: And then the plane hit the Pentagon. He was like, you can't come in anyway.
00:24:51
Speaker 2: D.C. shut down.
00:24:53
Speaker 5: Yep.
00:24:54
Speaker 2: How did that work when you say they shut D.C. down? No plane can leave. No plane can land.
00:25:00
Speaker 1: You couldn't drive into D.C. There was no cars on the street.
00:25:05
Speaker 3: Back in the day, James, on a military base, you could pull up to a military base, show your ID and say, hey, I'm coming to see this and drive on. Once that happened, you could drive on base.
00:25:18
Speaker 2: Everything changed. Everyone forgets.
00:25:22
Speaker 4: They know the Pentagon and the two, but they don't think about the one that crashed in the field. And nobody knows where that plane was going.
00:25:29
Speaker 5: No.
00:25:31
Speaker 2: That plane could have gone anywhere.
00:25:33
Speaker 4: You know, and the you know, just listening to those phone calls because they have them taped. If you listen on the internet, the tape phone calls of people who were saying, Hey, listen, we're going to go, we're going to try to take this airplane down.
00:25:45
Speaker 2: I love you. I'm going to meet grandma. I mean, just stuff like that, that even when I say it, I'm just like, it's, it just, you know, you think that you, you might be brave, you know, my dumb ass. Well, my dumb ass has done a lot of dumb things.
00:26:02
Speaker 5: Yeah.
00:26:02
Speaker 2: So, You know, I hope that in that situation that I'd go, hey, listen.
00:26:05
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:26:07
Speaker 2: But you don't know. You know, you don't know who you're going to be.
00:26:10
Speaker 1: And what I think about besides the immense tragedy that it was, I think about how what happened on 9-11 affected the rest of America for years to come.
00:26:23
Speaker 2: We travel in the airport. Yeah.
00:26:26
Speaker 6: Just, you go to a theme park nowadays, there's... You can't get into Disney without going through that.
00:26:31
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can't go into Disney now without going through a metal detector.
00:26:35
Speaker 2: You go into Fun Zone. You can't.
00:26:38
Speaker 3: It changed so much. Remember, you could meet your people at the gate.
00:26:43
Speaker 2: Hey, yeah, I could walk to the gate. Yes.
00:26:45
Speaker 1: You could literally walk to the gate and now you can't even walk to the gate to meet your people no more.
00:26:50
Speaker 2: You could be at the gate and wait for your people.
00:26:52
Speaker 1: To get off the plane, bro. Now you got to wait at the.
00:26:56
Speaker 3: Hey, don't walk past this point if you want to. Hey, it's a dude at the checkpoint with the exercise bands.
00:27:04
Speaker 2: Walk past here if you want to.
00:27:07
Speaker 4: Hey, You do realize that these exercise band jokes are not going to go away.
00:27:14
Speaker 2: No, they're not. No, they're not, man. Oh, Ken. Ken, I might be the only comedian who will ever do this. Talk to me.
00:27:22
Speaker 4: Stick an exercise band in your back pocket. And the minute somebody starts talking, you reach back and go, push it.
00:27:28
Speaker 2: Bro.
00:27:30
Speaker 5: Bro.
00:27:31
Speaker 2: But. But.
00:27:32
Speaker 3: That is funny, but you got to hope that they understand what the joke is.
00:27:37
Speaker 2: Oh, somebody in the audience will get it. Somebody's going to know.
00:27:42
Speaker 3: Somebody's selling exercise bands right now with that lady's name on it.
00:27:45
Speaker 6: You're going to have pre-stand-up depression.
00:27:48
Speaker 2: You'll have it.
00:27:50
Speaker 3: Yo, hey, you know what's even funnier? These glasses keep focusing in and out, so James is like big and little.
00:27:58
Speaker 2: Big and little. Looking like Shrek in 3D.
00:28:06
Speaker 1: But shout out to you, Jeff, man, because I know that had to be emotional because, like I said, there's a repository there, too.
00:28:17
Speaker 4: They still have bodies in the museum that they're sorting. And that was the time I was actually on military radio, Armed Forces Radio. I did an interview with them last week talking about it. And You know, when people ask me, I was on this one station, and they go, Jeff, what do you think is important in 9-11? What do you think people should do? I said, take 10 seconds and pray for the families. And the woman said to me, she goes, I can't believe you would say that.
00:28:45
Speaker 2: I go, what do you mean?
00:28:46
Speaker 4: She goes, well, you know, we live in a time where people, when they talk about prayer and everything else, that it's kind of, you know, a taboo topic that, you know, And I go, why? To remember people by? And she was, she was, no, no, I was just surprised you said it. I didn't expect you to say that. I said, man, could you, there are so many families that suffered that when they read my book, people were coming back to me going, my father was a first responder. I lost somebody in the buildings. I wanted to hate this book so bad. And, but you said these things and you allowed me to feel, and you, you wrote, it was like you were writing it for me. And I said, that that's, I tried, you know, and that was, but, That there's still bodies out there and people still haven't buried their loved ones.
00:29:28
Speaker 2: The loved ones. And some of them, what if he lived?
00:29:30
Speaker 4: I mean, that's like all the guys who MIA went in Vietnam and everything. And their bodies didn't come back. They go, well, what if they're still alive? What if they're still out there? What if they– hard. What if they're in the hospital?
00:29:42
Speaker 2: You don't get closure. You don't. So, yeah, we had a lot of.
00:29:46
Speaker 4: Weird stuff happen in the last two, three weeks. But that one was humbling. That's the only thing I can think about.
00:29:53
Speaker 2: It's humbling. All right.
00:29:54
Speaker 1: I just want to say thank you, Jeff, for sharing that with us. We got to take a quick little break, but that's amazing. Congratulations again.
00:30:00
Speaker 2: Y'all don't go anywhere. We'll be right back.
00:30:02
Speaker 1: This is still real life. Real Radio 104.1.
00:30:12
Speaker 5: Real Radio is on Instagram at realradio1041. Sponsored by the Law Offices of Anajar and Levine Accident Attorneys. Call the Law Offices of Anajar and Levine at 1-800-747-FREE.
00:30:26
Speaker 2: That's 1-800-747-3733. Go wild for fall fun at Busch Gardens Tampa Bay.
00:30:31
Speaker 1: Celebrate the season during Spooktacular with trick-or-treating, costume parades, and colorful characters.
00:30:37
Speaker 2: Come face-to-face with wild wonders. Feel the thrill.
00:30:49
Speaker 1: Welcome back everybody thank you you still listening it's real laugh real radio 104.1 i am james john your host that is ken miller and that is jeff the batman coffin now ken you said you had something you want to talk about.
00:31:00
Speaker 2: Brother why don't you lay it on us.
00:31:02
Speaker 1: Hey man y'all know i got two kids yes but i also got a third child yeah they ain't my child but that's my child happy birthday how old is jazia man jazia be 21 this month layla just turned 14 today okay So happy birthday to my baby Layla, man.
00:31:21
Speaker 3: 14. What happened to the little baby? Dog, that's what I'm saying.
00:31:27
Speaker 2: What happened to the little baby? She a whole asshole now, bro.
00:31:30
Speaker 3: I don't know if I can say that. Like, she's so mean. Like, she's so mean. She gets so smart to me with me.
00:31:38
Speaker 1: And I be like, Layla, like, I'm not your daddy.
00:31:42
Speaker 2: Your daddy ain't even your daddy. I'm your daddy.
00:31:45
Speaker 1: Daddy, yeah. And my daughter turns to him. Hey, Jeff, I be like, girl, what? don't she 14 what happened to the baby that she ain't the baby man she she she might she might she my retirement plan because she is in everything band she's an actress she she's smart she's robotic she's straight so she and she on genius level and i already told her i said let me start let me get this college money ready for her because jazia don't care Johnny's.
00:32:18
Speaker 2: About to be 21.
00:32:20
Speaker 1: But I bring this up because first I got to say happy birthday to my baby girl, Layla. That's my baby. That's my second favorite child. My daughter's birthday coming up this month, too. My mama's birthday was this month. My brother's career birthday. Happy birthday, Ruthie Mae. Miguel's birthday was this month. Sean's birthday was this month. Let me tell y'all something.
00:32:38
Speaker 3: Y'all stop having sex at Christmas.
00:32:42
Speaker 2: We need to stop Christmas and New Year's second.
00:32:45
Speaker 3: It's too many damn Virgos and Libras. The other day, Jeff, the other day I said happy birthday to 40 people on Facebook on one day.
00:32:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, you did. Hold on. Hold on. Do you cut and paste? Yeah. Okay. I just want to know if I'm the only one.
00:33:03
Speaker 5: Okay.
00:33:04
Speaker 3: So it's two, it's two birthdays. And James, you know that you get happy birthday, yo, and a bunch of emojis. If you, my friend, friend, you get F your birthday.
00:33:14
Speaker 2: Yep.
00:33:14
Speaker 1: Yep.
00:33:15
Speaker 2: Happy birthday, yo. But yeah, I cut and paste.
00:33:18
Speaker 4: I'm going to come clean with something I created a couple of years ago. I created a macro. So all I got to type it is FB and it writes the whole sentence.
00:33:29
Speaker 2: Oh, I like that. Hot buttons.
00:33:32
Speaker 4: I got 14 birthdays every day, every.
00:33:36
Speaker 3: Day in September. So I was having this conversation with my wife. You know, my wife is September 7, the same day my pops passed away. So her birthday and my pops passing away is like ingrained in me. And we was having a beer for my daddy's birthday because my daddy was a beer person, Ice House. So every birthday for my daddy, my wife and I have a beer.
00:33:57
Speaker 2: We're drinking the beer. And I was just like, why is it so many September birthdays? She says, yes. And you have a Macabrew? The Macabrew. Thank you, Jeff.
00:34:06
Speaker 3: Let me write that down. I got to type that to myself. Macabrew. Macabrew. My wife said, Google it. Because it's Christmas and New Year's.
00:34:15
Speaker 1: People are having holiday sex because they're cold.
00:34:19
Speaker 2: Hey, not down here. Not Jazzy. Have you seen how many coats we wear? These guys are wearing like lifesavers.
00:34:29
Speaker 1: Parkers that come out at 70 degrees.
00:34:32
Speaker 3: Well, let me tell y'all something. Warm y'all ass up with some apple cider. Stop having sex at Christmas and New Year's.
00:34:38
Speaker 2: I don't want no more. We had enough people in September.
00:34:42
Speaker 3: Matter of fact, AI, if you listening, if you're going to destroy the world, do it in September.
00:34:47
Speaker 2: So we ain't got to celebrate all these birthdays. Do you remember?
00:34:53
Speaker 1: Hey. Oh, that's wild. That's wild. Hey, what's the other one, James? So do you remember the, what is it? The 21st day of September?
00:35:04
Speaker 2: No, it's Neil Diamond. But it's another one. September moon. Is it a date or just September?
00:35:11
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:35:11
Speaker 2: Okay. The 21st night of September. That's one. Oh, Papa wasn't rolling a song. Hold on.
00:35:20
Speaker 4: Did you know how many birthdays on September 11th? I was wishing people happy birthday and I felt bad. I was like, oh man, this guy's been screwed. That's the ultimate screw job on a birthday.
00:35:33
Speaker 2: What's the date in September for Rolling Stone? It was on that day.
00:35:37
Speaker 3: It was the 3rd of September. The day my daddy died. That's wild. September, terrible time, bro.
00:35:47
Speaker 4: People losing parents on Christmas. That's another war form. My mom died on Christmas. I'm like, well, I guess we ain't celebrating.
00:35:55
Speaker 1: Yeah, we ain't celebrating that year no more, man. I definitely hear you. Oh, let me ask y'all a question. Speaking of Christmas, y'all, we all have kids. Jeff, what is the age where it becomes appropriate where you can just start giving your children money at Christmas?
00:36:09
Speaker 2: We ain't got to play no games. We ain't got to like 18. Thank you. They don't want gifts. You can't shop well enough for them. No, you can't. I agree with that. I remember my dad. What do you want for Christmas? And this was when a bank used to exist. Barnett Bank. Certificates from Barnett.
00:36:31
Speaker 5: Okay.
00:36:32
Speaker 2: Money. There's no gift you get. Unless they get you something you really want. I mean, I'm.
00:36:39
Speaker 3: A good gift giver, but I feel like girls are different.
00:36:44
Speaker 2: Girls are different.
00:36:45
Speaker 1: So Jazia and Layla want gifts.
00:36:49
Speaker 2: Really? So they get gifts.
00:36:51
Speaker 1: They tell you what they want for Christmas.
00:36:55
Speaker 3: No, they tell me exactly what they want for Christmas. Kenny was different. Kenny was like, daddy, I don't want that. So me and Sean from 21 to 24, when he passed away, we gave him a money, something money related.
00:37:07
Speaker 2: Like, you know, the thing you open up and pop money sauce. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So for Kenny, for three years, we always did. Yeah, yeah.
00:37:15
Speaker 1: We always did that. But the girls, my daughter's always got a list. They always got a list. They don't want no money. They want to open something.
00:37:28
Speaker 2: Okay. I get it.
00:37:30
Speaker 3: I'm good. Junior was not like that. Kenny was like, Daddy, I don't want nothing, which means I.
00:37:36
Speaker 1: Want some money. Here's what was going on. I was going back and forth with my beautiful, lovely wife who is very thoughtful and wants to make sure everybody has gifts. And I told her, Those kids in their 20s, all they want is money, babe.
00:37:50
Speaker 2: And James got all boys. They all boys. I'm like, they all boys. Let me tell you something.
00:37:55
Speaker 4: Your rocket scientist doesn't want money because he got more money than you do.
00:37:58
Speaker 2: He sure do. You talking about the drone? You talking about drones? Yeah, drones, right? Yeah, drones.
00:38:05
Speaker 1: Like, hey, drones want money because you want to donate to the families you're going to kill.
00:38:09
Speaker 2: Even like this. Hey, send a wrong gift.
00:38:14
Speaker 3: Hey, when that lady was found not guilty, he was like, man, let me send this.
00:38:21
Speaker 2: He got a joystick in his hand. Where's this going?
00:38:25
Speaker 3: Hey, he got a drone car exercise band.
00:38:31
Speaker 2: Damn. He got the new iPhone Duo when he's running his finger off it. I got this. Bro, that's funny. Boys want money, man. Girls. My daughters. My wife. I use my wife.
00:38:48
Speaker 1: My wife throughout the year will tell me stuff. I have a folder. that are pictures of what my wife says she wanted. So I know at the end of the year, I, my wife wanted, cause I won't buy it throughout the year.
00:39:00
Speaker 2: I'm like, Oh, that's dope.
00:39:02
Speaker 1: At Christmas time, I'll buy everything that my wife has texted me that she wanted.
00:39:06
Speaker 2: I will buy it. But, but junior gave him money, bro, bro.
00:39:12
Speaker 1: And you so right because my wife thought I was wrong. And she asked the kids, would y'all just be happy if I just gave y'all money at Christmas?
00:39:20
Speaker 2: They're like, hell yeah. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. And keep them damn exercises. pants away.
00:39:29
Speaker 1: I'm telling boys that you ain't too old. We wired different when it comes to gifts. Like when they'd be like, James, what you want? I'd be like, I don't, I don't want it.
00:39:36
Speaker 2: Like, I just don't be wanting stuff like that, man. I just, I don't want it.
00:39:39
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:39:40
Speaker 2: And then you got to ask for something. No, I don't.
00:39:43
Speaker 3: No, my wife does not believe me. If you didn't even get me anything, I wouldn't be mad.
00:39:50
Speaker 2: Not at all.
00:39:50
Speaker 1: I don't do guests with most people. I'm not a gift person. I'm not even a gift person, bro.
00:39:56
Speaker 2: I'm not. It won't bother me, bro. It won't bother me at all. Our job is to make sure y'all got. That's how I do. That's my job.
00:40:05
Speaker 4: I do superior gifts for people, but the people closest to me, I do things with.
00:40:11
Speaker 2: I do events with. Yes, you do. We do things.
00:40:14
Speaker 4: We share these ridiculous times where they go, man, that was awesome.
00:40:19
Speaker 2: Because a memory is always more important than stuff. Thank you.
00:40:23
Speaker 4: That's where I'm at. I remember two gifts I've been given in my life. And I had a white Jamaican roommate, which they exist. And he had that weird accent too. Oh my God, Jeff, you're killing me. I mean, dude is whiter than I am.
00:40:37
Speaker 2: Had that accent.
00:40:38
Speaker 4: He got me a Detroit Tiger hat. And you're going to go, why is that important? I was a huge Magnum fan. Magnum P.I.
00:40:45
Speaker 2: And Magnum P.I. wore this Detroit Tiger hat. He did. Every episode of that show. In boat shoes.
00:40:51
Speaker 4: And it was like $ 12 hat. And I wore that hat everywhere. You know, so certain gifts are just too close.
00:40:59
Speaker 2: They're attaching some sentiment. I definitely get it.
00:41:01
Speaker 1: But if you listening out there, ladies, listen to your man. If you got kids, they over the age of 18 and they boys, all they want is money.
00:41:10
Speaker 2: That's all they want. That's all they want.
00:41:13
Speaker 1: And I tell you what's a great gift, too, especially when I was in college, I would always get everybody a $ 50 gas card.
00:41:18
Speaker 2: They love that. A gas card that they didn't have to pay for gas in their car. That was a good one. I'm just telling y'all, man, get your kids some gas cards. Get them some money. I'm upset. I'm upset about something and I want to cover it before we get off. Go ahead. Talk to me, man. How's it coming up to Christmas again?
00:41:34
Speaker 5: Bro.
00:41:36
Speaker 2: Bro, this year flew by.
00:41:37
Speaker 4: I swear to God, if they put them lights up on Lake Eola, I'm going to shoot each one of those.
00:41:41
Speaker 2: I'm going to break out some exercise bands. I'm done. Hey, you know what's crazy, Jeff? So, you know, I work downtown.
00:41:50
Speaker 3: They are putting the lights up already on Orange Avenue today. They were putting the lights up today on Orange Avenue.
00:41:56
Speaker 5: Yep.
00:41:56
Speaker 2: Matter of fact, Ken, you got to start. We were just right now. We're just there. Yes, we were. I got to go to $ 5 and below to get Ken Gibson.
00:42:05
Speaker 1: Oh, I was going to say, you got another toy drive to put together. Maybe Ken will come to this one.
00:42:13
Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll do that. I ain't got to get the finger in my butt.
00:42:16
Speaker 4: Jeff got 50 pair of exercise bands for these kids.
00:42:21
Speaker 2: Bro, that's wild. That fool. That fool. This the episode. Ken, this is the one. This is the one.
00:42:33
Speaker 1: When I make the post for the toy drive, I'm going to be like, hey, it's a toy drive. Please don't bring no exercise bands to the toy drive.
00:42:42
Speaker 2: Yeah, bro. Please don't bring it.
00:42:44
Speaker 1: Come on, man. What is wrong with us, man? All right, we got a minute left. I love you, gentlemen. We had a great show today. Jeff is wild to me. Jeff is wild. Hey, man, everything was Jeff. He our sponsor. So you mad.
00:43:02
Speaker 2: I ain't getting rid of me. I'm covering. Don't be mad at me and James. Don't be mad at me and James. Oh, this was called for Jeff.
00:43:11
Speaker 3: Me and James is up here trying to have a good Christian show.
00:43:14
Speaker 2: Christian show.
00:43:15
Speaker 1: Pay your tithes, your 10%. Pray, eat your vegetables. Take your vitamins. Take your vitamins.
00:43:24
Speaker 2: Take your birth control. Take your birth control.
00:43:28
Speaker 1: But Jeff going to get up here and talk about choking bitches. That's all I'm saying. Hey, is Wayne Brady going to have to choke a bitch?
00:43:36
Speaker 3: They have nothing to do with me and James. Me and James is cool. Our lawyer said, if your kid acting up, you know what to do. Before we go, Jeff, what do you got going on Saturday, brother?
00:43:48
Speaker 2: Well, we got Under Oath.
00:43:50
Speaker 4: I got the sexiest TikToker, William White. And you know what?
00:43:54
Speaker 2: I'm looking forward to possibly doing nothing.
00:43:57
Speaker 1: Watch some football. Watch some football like Ken, man. Ken's going to be cooking meat on the weekend.
00:44:03
Speaker 2: I know that. Hey, yo, pause. Pause, man. You know what Ken would do?
00:44:07
Speaker 4: If Ken was cooking something and I showed up just at his house for some reason, I'd walk in.
00:44:13
Speaker 2: Hey, I want one of those. Ken would look at me. I'd be like an illusion to him. Hey, as long as you don't make them work on the internet. How do you get through the gate? That's what he'd say to me. Let's do this.
00:44:24
Speaker 3: Let's do this. Sunday, I'm down. If y'all want to meet up downtown Orlando, go watch a football game.
00:44:31
Speaker 2: Really?
00:44:32
Speaker 3: I'm with you. Hey, Jeff, you're not doing nothing. James, you're not doing nothing. I got a show Saturday night. I mean, a Saturday night Sunday. I'm going to be in the office downtown. Y'all know I already got the locker full of liquor and cigars.
00:44:44
Speaker 2: So if y'all want to meet up downtown, Corona. So where's that? Where you want to watch the game? Like World of Beer? Where you want to go? Corona. No, we go to Corona. Watch the game at Corona.
00:44:51
Speaker 4: You got to eat inside, though, right? They got food and stuff or no?
00:44:56
Speaker 1: No, you got to get food across the street. I'm trying to go somewhere where... You let us bring the food over, though. What about such a wine?
00:45:01
Speaker 2: Is that close? Such a wine. They're going to kill us, by the way. Y'all keep saying such a wine.
00:45:07
Speaker 3: For real, if y'all not doing that on Sunday, let's go hang out and watch a football.
00:45:11
Speaker 2: Game this Sunday. I'm down, bro. I'll save a space for Chris. It'll be all right.
00:45:16
Speaker 1: See, that's why we can't have night stuff. We got to end this show. Thank y'all so much. This is, hey, I am James John, your host. That is Ken Miller, the godfather of little comedy. That is my dog, a fellow comedian, and our sponsor from Coffin, and Len Jeff, the Batman Coffin.
00:45:34
Speaker 2: We love y'all. We will see you next week. Hey, be good to one another. Stay safe.
00:45:37
Speaker 5: Yes, sir.
00:45:38
Speaker 2: Can't tell them what to do.
00:45:39
Speaker 3: Take your ass to bed, and yo, have a good weekend, and go Carolina Panthers.
00:45:44
Speaker 2: Amen.
00:45:57
Speaker 5: Thank you.
Speaker 1: What's up everybody and thank you because you have just tuned in a real laugh on real radio 104.1 i'm your host tonight mr james john comedian extraordinaire i am joined in virtual studio with my good friend the godfather of orlando comedy you know him as ken miller but tonight he is are you ready for some football also our official sponsor from kaufman and lynn your official Personal injury attorneys in Orlando. They've been representing and winning for the good people of Orlando for over 20 years. If you want more information on them, just go to when you need us dot com. And Ken has a number he's going to share with you that you can call to get in touch with him.
00:00:44
Speaker 2: Ken, what's that phone number?
00:00:46
Speaker 3: 407-500-JEFF. 407-500-JEFF. Car accident, slip or fall, kick in the ass. And something that just happened to me and my wife.
00:00:55
Speaker 2: Call Jeff Kaufman. There you go. The man, the myth, the legend, himself, Mr. Coffin, is here. But before we talk to Mr.
00:01:02
Speaker 1: Coffin about something very special that he was a part of in New York, Ken Miller, that's right, the man, the myth, the legend, just got something brand new that he's wearing today.
00:01:13
Speaker 2: Ken, what you got, man? What they bring you?
00:01:15
Speaker 3: Man, shout out to the VA, baby. Yeah. I finally got some new glasses. I don't think I've had new glasses since before COVID.
00:01:28
Speaker 2: Damn, Ken, you're supposed to wear glasses every year.
00:01:30
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think yet, because my vision is, as they say in French, très terrible. I ain't never spoke French, dog.
00:01:42
Speaker 2: But you know what's funny? Yeah. My prescription is pretty much the same. Oh, you're very blessed, Dan. Yeah. They're government glasses, too. Yeah, they're pretty much the same. He got those 30 years ago. Same frames. So, yeah.
00:01:54
Speaker 3: So what's funny is my other frames are actually Versace. So these frames cost me like $ 600.
00:02:03
Speaker 1: But I have my work insurance to get them. So when I went to the.
00:02:06
Speaker 3: VA, they were like, oh, we got some frames for you. We got bed frame. We got time frame.
00:02:16
Speaker 2: OJ got framed. Oh, yeah. Which one do you want? So I got the OJ got frame glasses. I like them. Come with a white Bronco. Yeah, come with a white Bronco and some exercise pants. And one glove. Damn.
00:02:31
Speaker 3: But yeah, Jeff, these are my first glasses in like six years. I tried contacts. Contacts ain't my thing.
00:02:37
Speaker 1: No.
00:02:38
Speaker 3: I'm not a big contact guy, but yeah, man, I've always had glasses, so I'm trying to get my eyes used to them so I'm aware for the rest of the night to see what's up.
00:02:44
Speaker 2: Good for you, brother. There you go, man. Ken got some new glasses. I know my lens taken out. I went to Philadelphia. Oh, yes, right, Jeff.
00:02:51
Speaker 1: Ken's got the Contra lens. The Contra laser. The laser from Contra. You know what I'm talking about? Up, down, up, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, B, A.
00:03:01
Speaker 2: Yo. Hey, Jeff, that was like two years ago, right? Yeah. How's your vision been since? 2020. That's great.
00:03:09
Speaker 4: Phil Lutowski took care of me. And I want you to know something. I didn't get any benefit. I didn't get any discounts because I'm on the radio. I didn't ask for any.
00:03:16
Speaker 2: Really?
00:03:17
Speaker 4: I'll tell you what. They said to me, they said, you're too old for laser. So that Austin Power Laser, they can't use on me. So what happened was the guy says, well, we can take your lenses out of your eyes.
00:03:27
Speaker 2: I go, what do you mean?
00:03:28
Speaker 4: Well, we take the actual lens out of your eye and we replace it with an artificial one. And he goes, you'll never get cataracts. You'll see the same for the rest of your life. They can do anything nowadays, man.
00:03:39
Speaker 5: Pop, pop.
00:03:40
Speaker 2: Pop, pop, baby. Yeah. It took 15 minutes to put one in, and then two weeks later, put the other one in. It only took 15 minutes to do that?
00:03:49
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:03:49
Speaker 2: I've had oil changes.
00:03:51
Speaker 4: The 20-minute oil change was longer than how long they did my eyes.
00:03:55
Speaker 1: I tell people when it comes to getting a vasectomy, it only took 30 minutes to change me forever.
00:04:00
Speaker 2: 30 minutes. Did you meet the doctor beforehand?
00:04:03
Speaker 5: Yeah.
00:04:04
Speaker 2: You did? Yeah, I did. Did you check if he had shaky hands? I did.
00:04:07
Speaker 6: Put your hands out in front of you. I want to make sure he didn't have cold hands. I throw him a baseball and make sure he catches it.
00:04:20
Speaker 2: Nope. Have I told you that story, Jeff? That's why you said that?
00:04:24
Speaker 5: No.
00:04:24
Speaker 2: What are you talking about?
00:04:25
Speaker 3: I have played every sport imaginable as a kid. Baseball is the only sport I didn't make the team. And I'm going to tell you why. My vision has always been bad. I'm near and farsighted. Like I can't see close or far. The coach, I'm not making this up, James. He was less than five feet away from me. He threw an under soft pitch to me. And I was like, he says, yeah, we don't need.
00:04:54
Speaker 2: You.
00:04:54
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Baseball for you. He said, hey, you see that basketball court?
00:04:59
Speaker 2: You tall. Gone up there. Go over there, man. Yeah, I didn't know that. Bro, I didn't know you couldn't see the ball, bro. I'm sorry. Bro, in basketball, I do.
00:05:11
Speaker 3: My coach always thought I couldn't catch because they would throw me the ball and I would bat it down and then get it.
00:05:19
Speaker 2: No, I just couldn't see it. Couldn't see it. I couldn't see it.
00:05:22
Speaker 3: When I would wear my goggles hooping, I'm dropping 20-10. If I didn't have my glasses on, they were like, man, come sit on the bench because when you throw me the ball, I'll be like.
00:05:32
Speaker 2: You can't see it. Like a dodgeball.
00:05:35
Speaker 1: I'm playing dodgeball with that thing. When I had my glasses on, if I wore my goggles, I was a great ball player. But I can't see, bro. Like, I cannot see.
00:05:47
Speaker 2: For real.
00:05:48
Speaker 3: When I left the VA last week, bro, they gave me a dog and a stick. They was like, damn, take both of these. They take both of these.
00:05:56
Speaker 2: Hey, James, I got it home.
00:05:58
Speaker 1: I was like, gotta be superstitious.
00:06:05
Speaker 2: They were like, you're blind, for real. My brother said, is she giving money?
00:06:11
Speaker 1: Yo, they were like, hey. Hey, when I first met Sean, I was like that.
00:06:17
Speaker 2: Yo, hey, she fine. That's funny. Touching the arm. Oh, she fine. Oh, you fine. I'm blind, bro. I'm blind as it must.
00:06:28
Speaker 1: At night, I should not be driving at night. For real, I shouldn't be driving. I'm telling you, the reason I drive good at night. You should have that problem. I know what you're talking about. I know what you're talking about. Because the lights, I don't know if it's the depth perception. It messes up your depth perception when you're on the road. How close is that? Bro, but you know when I do drive.
00:06:48
Speaker 2: Good when you're on that Yeah.
00:06:52
Speaker 5: 2020.
00:06:52
Speaker 1: That crown give me 2020, baby.
00:06:57
Speaker 2: Hey. I got crown.
00:07:00
Speaker 3: That crown give me 2020, bro. James, I know we want to talk about some nostalgia. Go ahead. I want to talk about Jeff's New York thing, but it made me think about the drinking and driving. Have you seen the video when the kids are like, how did Gen X and Millennials get home?
00:07:18
Speaker 2: And the guy's like, yo, we drove drunk. He said, I know it's bad. It's bad. If you say to a kid, you know how old somebody is, you go, you ever bite a steering wheel? They go, what?
00:07:31
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:07:31
Speaker 2: You know when you were too tired? Yeah. Bro. Hit the steering wheel. The kid ain't never been a steering wheel.
00:07:38
Speaker 5: Nope.
00:07:38
Speaker 2: Nope. They look at you and go, kind of tricks to stay up, man. We had to drive sleepy, man. That's right. Seatbelts. I remember. What the hell are you talking about? We that old. I remember when it became a law to wear the seatbelt. Remember that? Bro, I remember that.
00:07:56
Speaker 4: How many kids could you stick in the back of a pickup truck?
00:07:59
Speaker 2: Remember that? Bro, in the country? Are you kidding me? We all did.
00:08:03
Speaker 1: James, I got to put you on my reels list, bro. You are on my reels list, but I got to see more of my reels. This is in the 80s. I said the 80s be wildin'. This dude was like, yeah, so now.
00:08:15
Speaker 3: We can't just sit in our truck, have a couple of beers before we.
00:08:18
Speaker 2: Get home from work.
00:08:20
Speaker 3: And one lady was like, now they're making us wear seatbelts. Next thing you know, by the end of the 80s, we're going to be a communist country.
00:08:29
Speaker 1: If I find a video, James, I will send it to you. She was like, we're going to be a communist country. They want us to wear seatbelts.
00:08:36
Speaker 2: We can't drink a.
00:08:37
Speaker 1: Couple of beers and drive home after a hard day's work.
00:08:40
Speaker 2: What the hell does America come to, James? People used to drink with an open container like it wasn't nothing. Y'all remember that? Remember one hand on the wheel and the other hand on their beer. Yeah, bro. That was a thing.
00:08:51
Speaker 4: This is the use to hold the beer like this.
00:08:53
Speaker 2: Like this. Yeah. Like the claw, you know, bro. Story on that beer.
00:08:58
Speaker 1: My uncles would stop by the liquor store and get the tall boy beer with the with the brown bag on it. Y'all don't talk about bro and be like, all right, let's go, kids.
00:09:10
Speaker 2: I don't know.
00:09:11
Speaker 1: And the crazy thing is, our uncles, our daddies, our granddaddies drank that beer and that Mad Dog. And them boys lived to be 85, 90 years old.
00:09:19
Speaker 2: 90-something, yeah. Dog. They had real gluten back then. Bro, it's people right now.
00:09:25
Speaker 3: Hey, Jeff, I know people right now, and they're 35, 40 years old, get kidney transplant, B. But our grandparents was drinking that hardcore as moonshine, bro.
00:09:37
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
00:09:38
Speaker 2: Hooch out.
00:09:40
Speaker 4: Yeah, they didn't have a weed now. We got plastics in our brain. We got stuff that they didn't have. They're testing people's brains and finding plastic in it.
00:09:51
Speaker 1: Bro, I was on a cruise ship and people from Europe were on our cruise ships looking at us crazy because of what the FDA lets us eat.
00:09:58
Speaker 2: What's approved for us to put in? our food.
00:10:00
Speaker 1: They're like, you can't do that overseas. They won't let you sell some of the American products in their grocery store.
00:10:06
Speaker 2: You got to make a whole new product. There's no corn syrup.
00:10:09
Speaker 6: No, they don't play that over there, man. They got real Coca-Cola there. The stuff we grew up on.
00:10:14
Speaker 2: Not the stuff they got now.
00:10:16
Speaker 1: Man, that's the only thing I can get James to drink at Corona is a Mexican Coke.
00:10:21
Speaker 2: Bro. Tell me Mexican Coke ain't delicious.
00:10:27
Speaker 1: James will drink three of them things.
00:10:31
Speaker 2: I will.
00:10:32
Speaker 1: James is the only cat I know caffeine don't affect James.
00:10:35
Speaker 2: We went to breakfast one day. James had 10 cups of coffee. Yep. I know there's one coffee that affects him. Bro. Not Bustelo.
00:10:45
Speaker 1: No, Bustelo I got right now. I just had Bustelo. Vietnamese coffee is basically Heron. Where is that?
00:10:52
Speaker 2: I need one. They got one downtown, Jeff?
00:10:54
Speaker 5: Yes.
00:10:55
Speaker 2: They have one on Colonial right across from Starbucks. It's delicious, first off.
00:10:59
Speaker 1: It's basically a strong espresso with condensed milk. It is a beautiful drink. But, bro, me and Jeff went back in time.
00:11:09
Speaker 2: Bro, we did two hours of show in an hour. In an hour. We're like, bro, we had a flux capacitor in that coffee.
00:11:15
Speaker 6: My producer, I'm going, he goes, you knocked out all five shows.
00:11:18
Speaker 2: We're like, what? 45 minutes? Bro.
00:11:21
Speaker 1: And now we drink it all the time. We got a problem, Jeff. You know you're going to have to go to rehab at some point.
00:11:26
Speaker 2: Rehab.
00:11:27
Speaker 3: I don't want nothing that's going to have me. I have to do caffeine early in the day. Are you thinking of the caffeine? Yeah, if I do any caffeine, let's say after six.
00:11:41
Speaker 1: Really?
00:11:41
Speaker 2: I need a good dinner.
00:11:45
Speaker 4: If I need a big dinner, like a good fat dinner, I need a cup of coffee at the end of it.
00:11:49
Speaker 2: Me too. Just bring me down.
00:11:53
Speaker 3: Just like, man, I'll be on my lunch. So I take like two lunch breaks, right? Because my supervisor ain't listening. So at noon, I sneak off to get food and I eat at noon, right? But then I take my real lunch break around like 3.30 or 4.00.
00:12:09
Speaker 2: So why are you, why are you going to tell me that? Cause you, you always tell me, no, no, I, I ain't got lunch here. I'm like Ken's manager. He, you don't tell me that. I don't eat. Thank you, James. He ain't listening. He heard lunch.
00:12:24
Speaker 1: He don't go somewhere for a long time.
00:12:26
Speaker 2: He goes, you being a white woman. Yeah. y'all gonna y'all gonna go where'd i get these exercise bands.
00:12:35
Speaker 1: Yo i love you boy hey it's it'll be old men at corona smoking cigars drinking coffee at like noon yeah yeah especially latin.
00:12:49
Speaker 2: Yeah bro i'm like well i know they breast.
00:12:52
Speaker 4: Stink they don't care that's what happens you get old you don't care you and you stop pressing anybody anymore You ain't lying.
00:12:59
Speaker 2: Jeff ain't lying about that. You stop caring. Because I'm that old. Comfortable pants, comfortable shoes. You don't care about anything anymore.
00:13:05
Speaker 1: Man, Jeff, look here. I wore a pair of sketches on stage the other night. My mom was mad at me. She's mad for real.
00:13:11
Speaker 3: She's like, I know you ain't got them sketches on. So because the Wicks meet and greets be 90 minutes to three on your feet.
00:13:17
Speaker 2: Yeah, man. I had Jeff. I will. Your joy is the first two nights. Night three, bro.
00:13:23
Speaker 1: I had to switch over to some sketches. I was like, don't. I got two pair of Jordans. The pair that Jeff got me, a pair that Dwayne got me. I find a shirt and I pair up the shirt because you know I got the statement team. So I paired a shirt up with, so Jeff, all your shirts matched what I had this weekend.
00:13:43
Speaker 2: So it was all Jeff. But Saturday? Look at man. Look at dog. I had on some sketches. I was, I was walking on clouds, baby.
00:13:55
Speaker 1: I'm all about being comfortable.
00:14:01
Speaker 2: Me too. Me too.
00:14:03
Speaker 4: Hey, I was, I was in a steak place. I went to a fat dinner Saturday night. I walked in and I went casual, but I wore a pair of Jordan threes and we go to sit down and everyone's dressed really good. And they're looking at me going, I'm just kind of going low. And the guy says to me, he sees me. Ooh, nice trees, man.
00:14:21
Speaker 2: Yeah. You know, the comment about the ladies, you know, the comment about this guy who looked like he was clean. He just made sneakers. That's right. All the time. On that note, guys, don't go anywhere. We're going to take a short little break.
00:14:33
Speaker 1: This is still Real Life on Real Radio 104.1. You are still listening to Real Laughs on Real Radio 104.1. I'm your host, James John. That is comedian Ken Miller, the godfather of Orlando comedy, but today he is, are you ready for some football? Our official sponsor, Jeff the Batman Coffin is here, and I would like to give Jeff his flowers, because he got to do something that was really an amazing honor, if I may say so myself in New York, my friend. So Jeff, I'm going to clap for you first off, and I would like you to share with our audience what you got to do this past week.
00:15:12
Speaker 2: Yeah. You know, I remember we all know where we were at 9-11. Yes. And I had gone.
00:15:17
Speaker 4: Through like 18 really bad days in a row. And then that happened and that gave me perspective. Whatever I'm complaining about, I got nothing compared to the family, to the people who died, all this other thing. And eight years later, I realized there was no really quality comic book or graphic novel made.
00:15:37
Speaker 2: About 9-11 and the tragedy.
00:15:38
Speaker 4: They had a little guest appearance on Spider-Man, but nothing of that really dealt with it. And it took me five years to find an artist who was willing to draw the book that I wanted to write.
00:15:49
Speaker 2: So I put out the book. It was called 9-11, a graphic novel. And the book scared the hell out of me.
00:15:54
Speaker 4: Because everywhere I went, I was expecting somebody to punch me in the mouth just because they were upset. Not because the book wasn't good or it meant something. So for about a year or two, I'm on the road with this book. And I sold a bunch of them. And You know, but it was one of those things that just left, that I didn't think about it anymore. I said, okay, I did a good thing. I put the word out. About four months ago, I got a call from the director of the 9-11 Museum. And they said, hey, Jeff, we're doing an exhibit about comic books and how it dealt with 9-11, and we'd like to feature your book. It's an 18-month exhibit.
00:16:28
Speaker 2: I'm like, what?
00:16:30
Speaker 4: And they go, yeah, in the 9-11 Museum, you need to sign the rights over, too, so that we can blow up pages in your book and make them real big because we think it's important. And when she said it to me, I said, wow. And people tell me all the time they want to do something, and it falls through. So I don't really take it that serious. So she sent me some docs. I signed them.
00:16:53
Speaker 2: And about two weeks ago, I got a call and go, Jeff, we opened the exhibit early. They're loving it. Your piece is important. It's causing a lot of emotions and everything else. What are you talking about? She goes, it's up.
00:17:06
Speaker 4: So I flew to New York four days later because I had to see this. And I had never been to the 9-11 Museum. And if you go out there, where the buildings were, they're now huge holes.
00:17:20
Speaker 2: They're called pits. And they're waterfalls.
00:17:23
Speaker 4: And they light them up, and the whole base of the building are gone. And in the middle is the museum. And the director walks me down there. And it's immense.
00:17:37
Speaker 2: And it's scary. And it's sick. And everything about it gets you going. All the emotions.
00:17:43
Speaker 4: The emotions of everything. I haven't seen my stuff yet. And I can see the looks on these people's faces. And you can tell some of them have lost people, some of them in this. And they walk me down to this area. And I can see the page from my book. It's that big. I can see it from like 30 feet away. And the minute I see it, I'm like, oh, Lord, because I thought it would just be, hey, they're going to have a little book or something else. I didn't know it would be like three feet by four feet. And I see Spider-Man on one side and I see my book on the other. And I'm standing there and it's got this big black plate, probably about the size of a sheet of paper. You know, when you put like those little things with it by this person, it's real small and The plate itself was as big as I expected the artwork to be. And I'm staring at it, and I didn't realize the page. I couldn't understand why she chose that page. And I'd forgotten, as you blow it up, the character, you could see the towers in the character's eyes.
00:18:44
Speaker 2: In the reflection of his eyes. Yeah.
00:18:46
Speaker 4: And when I wrote it, that was my instruction. But when it's comic book size, you don't see it that well. So it wasn't in my mind until it was blown up. And I'm standing there, and I'm just like... this is, this is, this is for real. And, you know, I'm walking around there stunned anyway. It's a ridiculous honor to be in there. And I asked her, I said, why, why, why did you, how did my book get here? And she goes, well, we have two experts here, our nine 11 experts. And they went out and found experts in the field. And they said, we want everything that's ever been done about nine 11 and comic books and independence. And your book was amazing. one of the ones they said, you have.
00:19:26
Speaker 2: To read this. And I was like, okay.
00:19:32
Speaker 4: But, you know, in my whole comic book career, nothing, they could make a movie and it wouldn't have been as important to know that this book meant something to people. You know, you write a comic book and it means enough that, and I, like I said, I was scared to death.
00:19:48
Speaker 2: I thought I was going to insult people.
00:19:50
Speaker 4: It was about a hero and a villain who had people in the towers when they went down. I was going, people are not going to think I took it serious. Every word I wrote, they're going to interpret it in a different way. No good deed goes unpunished. There are so many things that go through my head. Seeing it there said to me, okay, I did it. It did exactly what I expected it to do. It affected people in a positive way. It was a good reminder to people. But I basically had a problem talking all day. I was just walking around kind of.
00:20:24
Speaker 2: In the stupor.
00:20:25
Speaker 4: And I've had some decent successes in my life. But this one was just... And I know we're a funny show, but I was blown away. I still am walking around kind of like going, Did that happen, or is it just like a story, like the time I served in the military?
00:20:42
Speaker 2: Is it real?
00:20:43
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
00:20:44
Speaker 2: Or does it just feel like a story?
00:20:46
Speaker 1: I don't even have the words to say properly congratulations and what an honor it was, Jeff, for you to be able to do that, man.
00:20:51
Speaker 4: It's just huge to know that something that you created is affecting people in a positive way.
00:20:58
Speaker 1: Yes.
00:20:59
Speaker 2: So, yeah. I didn't want to talk about it too much until it happened.
00:21:05
Speaker 1: But that is the parallel between comedy and comic book creation. I do think laughter is medicine and I do think comic books educate and heal. So some of the same things that we do in comedy, same things you get to do in comic books, man. So I'm just proud of you. Congratulations again, man. That's a huge honor. That's a huge honor, bro.
00:21:27
Speaker 2: It's a huge honor. Huge honor, man.
00:21:32
Speaker 1: It's crazy, man. I was just talking to a friend of mine the other day. My army buddy, we just reconnected like two years ago. He was like my buddy, buddy, man. Jeff will tell you this, man.
00:21:45
Speaker 3: Maybe, I don't know how close you are with your unit, but a lot of times you'll have a group or a chunk of people who are just like your friends.
00:21:55
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? We called ourselves Little Mafia, like Junior Mafia. Okay, yeah.
00:22:01
Speaker 3: And we all worked in the same rat rig. And this was my guy. His name's Garrett. Shout out to Garrett Wisniewski. And he left and went to Panama.
00:22:11
Speaker 2: That is a military name. Garrett Wisniewski.
00:22:14
Speaker 3: Wisniewski is a military name like a mother. But yeah, man, G left and went to Panama. And I hadn't talked to him for I think he left.
00:22:22
Speaker 2: In like 98. He moved to Panama. No, he got stationed in Panama. Okay, got it.
00:22:29
Speaker 1: And we just recently reconnected like a couple of years ago. We hadn't talked in years, but he was like, you know, that's just how women take a note for men. We cannot talk to each other for 30 years and then we'll be good. And then next thing you know, we're back together again. But yeah, man, we were talking about 9-11 and he didn't know I was stationed in D.C. at 9-11.
00:22:52
Speaker 2: I didn't realize that either, kid. Yeah, I was eight miles from the Pentagon. I live eight miles from the Pentagon, man.
00:23:00
Speaker 3: And what's surreal for me is a year later, I had to travel with George Bush to 9-11 Memorial the year after 9-11. I took that trip for selfish reasons.
00:23:14
Speaker 2: One, I had never been to New York. So I'm like, I'm going to New York with the president.
00:23:20
Speaker 3: But when you got up there and you saw all those families like you, Jeff, I was just.
00:23:24
Speaker 2: Like, Yeah. It hits you. The reality hit.
00:23:28
Speaker 1: All those selfish reasons just left me, bro. Like the reality, James, the reality hit. And I was just like, yo, what also hit for me was I'm eight miles from the Pentagon.
00:23:41
Speaker 2: What if that plane shifted? Yep. And hit my neighborhood. You know what I'm saying? Or hit another neighborhood. You know what I mean?
00:23:50
Speaker 3: Or the plane or, you know, because they started grounding planes once all this stuff started happening.
00:23:56
Speaker 2: We didn't know what was going on. You know what I mean? And James, that day I was bandaged up. I had surgery.
00:24:05
Speaker 3: So I wake up and this is doing a dial up internet days. I log into Yahoo and this is how high I was. I was so high on Percocets. My first wife at the time, I says, Hey, where is the world trade center she was like why i said a plane hit it she says no it didn't i said i'm telling you i know i'm on perks yeah but y'all bro we cut the news on as soon as we cut the news on the second plane hit wow i go into soldier mode i'm i'm this is during the pager days i'm paging my balls like hey do i need to come in he said you can't come in mummy You wrapped up like the mummy.
00:24:43
Speaker 2: How you going to get in? You didn't realize. You're like, no, I'm coming in.
00:24:47
Speaker 3: And then the plane hit the Pentagon. He was like, you can't come in anyway.
00:24:51
Speaker 2: D.C. shut down.
00:24:53
Speaker 5: Yep.
00:24:54
Speaker 2: How did that work when you say they shut D.C. down? No plane can leave. No plane can land.
00:25:00
Speaker 1: You couldn't drive into D.C. There was no cars on the street.
00:25:05
Speaker 3: Back in the day, James, on a military base, you could pull up to a military base, show your ID and say, hey, I'm coming to see this and drive on. Once that happened, you could drive on base.
00:25:18
Speaker 2: Everything changed. Everyone forgets.
00:25:22
Speaker 4: They know the Pentagon and the two, but they don't think about the one that crashed in the field. And nobody knows where that plane was going.
00:25:29
Speaker 5: No.
00:25:31
Speaker 2: That plane could have gone anywhere.
00:25:33
Speaker 4: You know, and the you know, just listening to those phone calls because they have them taped. If you listen on the internet, the tape phone calls of people who were saying, Hey, listen, we're going to go, we're going to try to take this airplane down.
00:25:45
Speaker 2: I love you. I'm going to meet grandma. I mean, just stuff like that, that even when I say it, I'm just like, it's, it just, you know, you think that you, you might be brave, you know, my dumb ass. Well, my dumb ass has done a lot of dumb things.
00:26:02
Speaker 5: Yeah.
00:26:02
Speaker 2: So, You know, I hope that in that situation that I'd go, hey, listen.
00:26:05
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:26:07
Speaker 2: But you don't know. You know, you don't know who you're going to be.
00:26:10
Speaker 1: And what I think about besides the immense tragedy that it was, I think about how what happened on 9-11 affected the rest of America for years to come.
00:26:23
Speaker 2: We travel in the airport. Yeah.
00:26:26
Speaker 6: Just, you go to a theme park nowadays, there's... You can't get into Disney without going through that.
00:26:31
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can't go into Disney now without going through a metal detector.
00:26:35
Speaker 2: You go into Fun Zone. You can't.
00:26:38
Speaker 3: It changed so much. Remember, you could meet your people at the gate.
00:26:43
Speaker 2: Hey, yeah, I could walk to the gate. Yes.
00:26:45
Speaker 1: You could literally walk to the gate and now you can't even walk to the gate to meet your people no more.
00:26:50
Speaker 2: You could be at the gate and wait for your people.
00:26:52
Speaker 1: To get off the plane, bro. Now you got to wait at the.
00:26:56
Speaker 3: Hey, don't walk past this point if you want to. Hey, it's a dude at the checkpoint with the exercise bands.
00:27:04
Speaker 2: Walk past here if you want to.
00:27:07
Speaker 4: Hey, You do realize that these exercise band jokes are not going to go away.
00:27:14
Speaker 2: No, they're not. No, they're not, man. Oh, Ken. Ken, I might be the only comedian who will ever do this. Talk to me.
00:27:22
Speaker 4: Stick an exercise band in your back pocket. And the minute somebody starts talking, you reach back and go, push it.
00:27:28
Speaker 2: Bro.
00:27:30
Speaker 5: Bro.
00:27:31
Speaker 2: But. But.
00:27:32
Speaker 3: That is funny, but you got to hope that they understand what the joke is.
00:27:37
Speaker 2: Oh, somebody in the audience will get it. Somebody's going to know.
00:27:42
Speaker 3: Somebody's selling exercise bands right now with that lady's name on it.
00:27:45
Speaker 6: You're going to have pre-stand-up depression.
00:27:48
Speaker 2: You'll have it.
00:27:50
Speaker 3: Yo, hey, you know what's even funnier? These glasses keep focusing in and out, so James is like big and little.
00:27:58
Speaker 2: Big and little. Looking like Shrek in 3D.
00:28:06
Speaker 1: But shout out to you, Jeff, man, because I know that had to be emotional because, like I said, there's a repository there, too.
00:28:17
Speaker 4: They still have bodies in the museum that they're sorting. And that was the time I was actually on military radio, Armed Forces Radio. I did an interview with them last week talking about it. And You know, when people ask me, I was on this one station, and they go, Jeff, what do you think is important in 9-11? What do you think people should do? I said, take 10 seconds and pray for the families. And the woman said to me, she goes, I can't believe you would say that.
00:28:45
Speaker 2: I go, what do you mean?
00:28:46
Speaker 4: She goes, well, you know, we live in a time where people, when they talk about prayer and everything else, that it's kind of, you know, a taboo topic that, you know, And I go, why? To remember people by? And she was, she was, no, no, I was just surprised you said it. I didn't expect you to say that. I said, man, could you, there are so many families that suffered that when they read my book, people were coming back to me going, my father was a first responder. I lost somebody in the buildings. I wanted to hate this book so bad. And, but you said these things and you allowed me to feel, and you, you wrote, it was like you were writing it for me. And I said, that that's, I tried, you know, and that was, but, That there's still bodies out there and people still haven't buried their loved ones.
00:29:28
Speaker 2: The loved ones. And some of them, what if he lived?
00:29:30
Speaker 4: I mean, that's like all the guys who MIA went in Vietnam and everything. And their bodies didn't come back. They go, well, what if they're still alive? What if they're still out there? What if they– hard. What if they're in the hospital?
00:29:42
Speaker 2: You don't get closure. You don't. So, yeah, we had a lot of.
00:29:46
Speaker 4: Weird stuff happen in the last two, three weeks. But that one was humbling. That's the only thing I can think about.
00:29:53
Speaker 2: It's humbling. All right.
00:29:54
Speaker 1: I just want to say thank you, Jeff, for sharing that with us. We got to take a quick little break, but that's amazing. Congratulations again.
00:30:00
Speaker 2: Y'all don't go anywhere. We'll be right back.
00:30:02
Speaker 1: This is still real life. Real Radio 104.1.
00:30:12
Speaker 5: Real Radio is on Instagram at realradio1041. Sponsored by the Law Offices of Anajar and Levine Accident Attorneys. Call the Law Offices of Anajar and Levine at 1-800-747-FREE.
00:30:26
Speaker 2: That's 1-800-747-3733. Go wild for fall fun at Busch Gardens Tampa Bay.
00:30:31
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00:30:37
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00:30:49
Speaker 1: Welcome back everybody thank you you still listening it's real laugh real radio 104.1 i am james john your host that is ken miller and that is jeff the batman coffin now ken you said you had something you want to talk about.
00:31:00
Speaker 2: Brother why don't you lay it on us.
00:31:02
Speaker 1: Hey man y'all know i got two kids yes but i also got a third child yeah they ain't my child but that's my child happy birthday how old is jazia man jazia be 21 this month layla just turned 14 today okay So happy birthday to my baby Layla, man.
00:31:21
Speaker 3: 14. What happened to the little baby? Dog, that's what I'm saying.
00:31:27
Speaker 2: What happened to the little baby? She a whole asshole now, bro.
00:31:30
Speaker 3: I don't know if I can say that. Like, she's so mean. Like, she's so mean. She gets so smart to me with me.
00:31:38
Speaker 1: And I be like, Layla, like, I'm not your daddy.
00:31:42
Speaker 2: Your daddy ain't even your daddy. I'm your daddy.
00:31:45
Speaker 1: Daddy, yeah. And my daughter turns to him. Hey, Jeff, I be like, girl, what? don't she 14 what happened to the baby that she ain't the baby man she she she might she might she my retirement plan because she is in everything band she's an actress she she's smart she's robotic she's straight so she and she on genius level and i already told her i said let me start let me get this college money ready for her because jazia don't care Johnny's.
00:32:18
Speaker 2: About to be 21.
00:32:20
Speaker 1: But I bring this up because first I got to say happy birthday to my baby girl, Layla. That's my baby. That's my second favorite child. My daughter's birthday coming up this month, too. My mama's birthday was this month. My brother's career birthday. Happy birthday, Ruthie Mae. Miguel's birthday was this month. Sean's birthday was this month. Let me tell y'all something.
00:32:38
Speaker 3: Y'all stop having sex at Christmas.
00:32:42
Speaker 2: We need to stop Christmas and New Year's second.
00:32:45
Speaker 3: It's too many damn Virgos and Libras. The other day, Jeff, the other day I said happy birthday to 40 people on Facebook on one day.
00:32:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, you did. Hold on. Hold on. Do you cut and paste? Yeah. Okay. I just want to know if I'm the only one.
00:33:03
Speaker 5: Okay.
00:33:04
Speaker 3: So it's two, it's two birthdays. And James, you know that you get happy birthday, yo, and a bunch of emojis. If you, my friend, friend, you get F your birthday.
00:33:14
Speaker 2: Yep.
00:33:14
Speaker 1: Yep.
00:33:15
Speaker 2: Happy birthday, yo. But yeah, I cut and paste.
00:33:18
Speaker 4: I'm going to come clean with something I created a couple of years ago. I created a macro. So all I got to type it is FB and it writes the whole sentence.
00:33:29
Speaker 2: Oh, I like that. Hot buttons.
00:33:32
Speaker 4: I got 14 birthdays every day, every.
00:33:36
Speaker 3: Day in September. So I was having this conversation with my wife. You know, my wife is September 7, the same day my pops passed away. So her birthday and my pops passing away is like ingrained in me. And we was having a beer for my daddy's birthday because my daddy was a beer person, Ice House. So every birthday for my daddy, my wife and I have a beer.
00:33:57
Speaker 2: We're drinking the beer. And I was just like, why is it so many September birthdays? She says, yes. And you have a Macabrew? The Macabrew. Thank you, Jeff.
00:34:06
Speaker 3: Let me write that down. I got to type that to myself. Macabrew. Macabrew. My wife said, Google it. Because it's Christmas and New Year's.
00:34:15
Speaker 1: People are having holiday sex because they're cold.
00:34:19
Speaker 2: Hey, not down here. Not Jazzy. Have you seen how many coats we wear? These guys are wearing like lifesavers.
00:34:29
Speaker 1: Parkers that come out at 70 degrees.
00:34:32
Speaker 3: Well, let me tell y'all something. Warm y'all ass up with some apple cider. Stop having sex at Christmas and New Year's.
00:34:38
Speaker 2: I don't want no more. We had enough people in September.
00:34:42
Speaker 3: Matter of fact, AI, if you listening, if you're going to destroy the world, do it in September.
00:34:47
Speaker 2: So we ain't got to celebrate all these birthdays. Do you remember?
00:34:53
Speaker 1: Hey. Oh, that's wild. That's wild. Hey, what's the other one, James? So do you remember the, what is it? The 21st day of September?
00:35:04
Speaker 2: No, it's Neil Diamond. But it's another one. September moon. Is it a date or just September?
00:35:11
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:35:11
Speaker 2: Okay. The 21st night of September. That's one. Oh, Papa wasn't rolling a song. Hold on.
00:35:20
Speaker 4: Did you know how many birthdays on September 11th? I was wishing people happy birthday and I felt bad. I was like, oh man, this guy's been screwed. That's the ultimate screw job on a birthday.
00:35:33
Speaker 2: What's the date in September for Rolling Stone? It was on that day.
00:35:37
Speaker 3: It was the 3rd of September. The day my daddy died. That's wild. September, terrible time, bro.
00:35:47
Speaker 4: People losing parents on Christmas. That's another war form. My mom died on Christmas. I'm like, well, I guess we ain't celebrating.
00:35:55
Speaker 1: Yeah, we ain't celebrating that year no more, man. I definitely hear you. Oh, let me ask y'all a question. Speaking of Christmas, y'all, we all have kids. Jeff, what is the age where it becomes appropriate where you can just start giving your children money at Christmas?
00:36:09
Speaker 2: We ain't got to play no games. We ain't got to like 18. Thank you. They don't want gifts. You can't shop well enough for them. No, you can't. I agree with that. I remember my dad. What do you want for Christmas? And this was when a bank used to exist. Barnett Bank. Certificates from Barnett.
00:36:31
Speaker 5: Okay.
00:36:32
Speaker 2: Money. There's no gift you get. Unless they get you something you really want. I mean, I'm.
00:36:39
Speaker 3: A good gift giver, but I feel like girls are different.
00:36:44
Speaker 2: Girls are different.
00:36:45
Speaker 1: So Jazia and Layla want gifts.
00:36:49
Speaker 2: Really? So they get gifts.
00:36:51
Speaker 1: They tell you what they want for Christmas.
00:36:55
Speaker 3: No, they tell me exactly what they want for Christmas. Kenny was different. Kenny was like, daddy, I don't want that. So me and Sean from 21 to 24, when he passed away, we gave him a money, something money related.
00:37:07
Speaker 2: Like, you know, the thing you open up and pop money sauce. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So for Kenny, for three years, we always did. Yeah, yeah.
00:37:15
Speaker 1: We always did that. But the girls, my daughter's always got a list. They always got a list. They don't want no money. They want to open something.
00:37:28
Speaker 2: Okay. I get it.
00:37:30
Speaker 3: I'm good. Junior was not like that. Kenny was like, Daddy, I don't want nothing, which means I.
00:37:36
Speaker 1: Want some money. Here's what was going on. I was going back and forth with my beautiful, lovely wife who is very thoughtful and wants to make sure everybody has gifts. And I told her, Those kids in their 20s, all they want is money, babe.
00:37:50
Speaker 2: And James got all boys. They all boys. I'm like, they all boys. Let me tell you something.
00:37:55
Speaker 4: Your rocket scientist doesn't want money because he got more money than you do.
00:37:58
Speaker 2: He sure do. You talking about the drone? You talking about drones? Yeah, drones, right? Yeah, drones.
00:38:05
Speaker 1: Like, hey, drones want money because you want to donate to the families you're going to kill.
00:38:09
Speaker 2: Even like this. Hey, send a wrong gift.
00:38:14
Speaker 3: Hey, when that lady was found not guilty, he was like, man, let me send this.
00:38:21
Speaker 2: He got a joystick in his hand. Where's this going?
00:38:25
Speaker 3: Hey, he got a drone car exercise band.
00:38:31
Speaker 2: Damn. He got the new iPhone Duo when he's running his finger off it. I got this. Bro, that's funny. Boys want money, man. Girls. My daughters. My wife. I use my wife.
00:38:48
Speaker 1: My wife throughout the year will tell me stuff. I have a folder. that are pictures of what my wife says she wanted. So I know at the end of the year, I, my wife wanted, cause I won't buy it throughout the year.
00:39:00
Speaker 2: I'm like, Oh, that's dope.
00:39:02
Speaker 1: At Christmas time, I'll buy everything that my wife has texted me that she wanted.
00:39:06
Speaker 2: I will buy it. But, but junior gave him money, bro, bro.
00:39:12
Speaker 1: And you so right because my wife thought I was wrong. And she asked the kids, would y'all just be happy if I just gave y'all money at Christmas?
00:39:20
Speaker 2: They're like, hell yeah. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. And keep them damn exercises. pants away.
00:39:29
Speaker 1: I'm telling boys that you ain't too old. We wired different when it comes to gifts. Like when they'd be like, James, what you want? I'd be like, I don't, I don't want it.
00:39:36
Speaker 2: Like, I just don't be wanting stuff like that, man. I just, I don't want it.
00:39:39
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:39:40
Speaker 2: And then you got to ask for something. No, I don't.
00:39:43
Speaker 3: No, my wife does not believe me. If you didn't even get me anything, I wouldn't be mad.
00:39:50
Speaker 2: Not at all.
00:39:50
Speaker 1: I don't do guests with most people. I'm not a gift person. I'm not even a gift person, bro.
00:39:56
Speaker 2: I'm not. It won't bother me, bro. It won't bother me at all. Our job is to make sure y'all got. That's how I do. That's my job.
00:40:05
Speaker 4: I do superior gifts for people, but the people closest to me, I do things with.
00:40:11
Speaker 2: I do events with. Yes, you do. We do things.
00:40:14
Speaker 4: We share these ridiculous times where they go, man, that was awesome.
00:40:19
Speaker 2: Because a memory is always more important than stuff. Thank you.
00:40:23
Speaker 4: That's where I'm at. I remember two gifts I've been given in my life. And I had a white Jamaican roommate, which they exist. And he had that weird accent too. Oh my God, Jeff, you're killing me. I mean, dude is whiter than I am.
00:40:37
Speaker 2: Had that accent.
00:40:38
Speaker 4: He got me a Detroit Tiger hat. And you're going to go, why is that important? I was a huge Magnum fan. Magnum P.I.
00:40:45
Speaker 2: And Magnum P.I. wore this Detroit Tiger hat. He did. Every episode of that show. In boat shoes.
00:40:51
Speaker 4: And it was like $ 12 hat. And I wore that hat everywhere. You know, so certain gifts are just too close.
00:40:59
Speaker 2: They're attaching some sentiment. I definitely get it.
00:41:01
Speaker 1: But if you listening out there, ladies, listen to your man. If you got kids, they over the age of 18 and they boys, all they want is money.
00:41:10
Speaker 2: That's all they want. That's all they want.
00:41:13
Speaker 1: And I tell you what's a great gift, too, especially when I was in college, I would always get everybody a $ 50 gas card.
00:41:18
Speaker 2: They love that. A gas card that they didn't have to pay for gas in their car. That was a good one. I'm just telling y'all, man, get your kids some gas cards. Get them some money. I'm upset. I'm upset about something and I want to cover it before we get off. Go ahead. Talk to me, man. How's it coming up to Christmas again?
00:41:34
Speaker 5: Bro.
00:41:36
Speaker 2: Bro, this year flew by.
00:41:37
Speaker 4: I swear to God, if they put them lights up on Lake Eola, I'm going to shoot each one of those.
00:41:41
Speaker 2: I'm going to break out some exercise bands. I'm done. Hey, you know what's crazy, Jeff? So, you know, I work downtown.
00:41:50
Speaker 3: They are putting the lights up already on Orange Avenue today. They were putting the lights up today on Orange Avenue.
00:41:56
Speaker 5: Yep.
00:41:56
Speaker 2: Matter of fact, Ken, you got to start. We were just right now. We're just there. Yes, we were. I got to go to $ 5 and below to get Ken Gibson.
00:42:05
Speaker 1: Oh, I was going to say, you got another toy drive to put together. Maybe Ken will come to this one.
00:42:13
Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll do that. I ain't got to get the finger in my butt.
00:42:16
Speaker 4: Jeff got 50 pair of exercise bands for these kids.
00:42:21
Speaker 2: Bro, that's wild. That fool. That fool. This the episode. Ken, this is the one. This is the one.
00:42:33
Speaker 1: When I make the post for the toy drive, I'm going to be like, hey, it's a toy drive. Please don't bring no exercise bands to the toy drive.
00:42:42
Speaker 2: Yeah, bro. Please don't bring it.
00:42:44
Speaker 1: Come on, man. What is wrong with us, man? All right, we got a minute left. I love you, gentlemen. We had a great show today. Jeff is wild to me. Jeff is wild. Hey, man, everything was Jeff. He our sponsor. So you mad.
00:43:02
Speaker 2: I ain't getting rid of me. I'm covering. Don't be mad at me and James. Don't be mad at me and James. Oh, this was called for Jeff.
00:43:11
Speaker 3: Me and James is up here trying to have a good Christian show.
00:43:14
Speaker 2: Christian show.
00:43:15
Speaker 1: Pay your tithes, your 10%. Pray, eat your vegetables. Take your vitamins. Take your vitamins.
00:43:24
Speaker 2: Take your birth control. Take your birth control.
00:43:28
Speaker 1: But Jeff going to get up here and talk about choking bitches. That's all I'm saying. Hey, is Wayne Brady going to have to choke a bitch?
00:43:36
Speaker 3: They have nothing to do with me and James. Me and James is cool. Our lawyer said, if your kid acting up, you know what to do. Before we go, Jeff, what do you got going on Saturday, brother?
00:43:48
Speaker 2: Well, we got Under Oath.
00:43:50
Speaker 4: I got the sexiest TikToker, William White. And you know what?
00:43:54
Speaker 2: I'm looking forward to possibly doing nothing.
00:43:57
Speaker 1: Watch some football. Watch some football like Ken, man. Ken's going to be cooking meat on the weekend.
00:44:03
Speaker 2: I know that. Hey, yo, pause. Pause, man. You know what Ken would do?
00:44:07
Speaker 4: If Ken was cooking something and I showed up just at his house for some reason, I'd walk in.
00:44:13
Speaker 2: Hey, I want one of those. Ken would look at me. I'd be like an illusion to him. Hey, as long as you don't make them work on the internet. How do you get through the gate? That's what he'd say to me. Let's do this.
00:44:24
Speaker 3: Let's do this. Sunday, I'm down. If y'all want to meet up downtown Orlando, go watch a football game.
00:44:31
Speaker 2: Really?
00:44:32
Speaker 3: I'm with you. Hey, Jeff, you're not doing nothing. James, you're not doing nothing. I got a show Saturday night. I mean, a Saturday night Sunday. I'm going to be in the office downtown. Y'all know I already got the locker full of liquor and cigars.
00:44:44
Speaker 2: So if y'all want to meet up downtown, Corona. So where's that? Where you want to watch the game? Like World of Beer? Where you want to go? Corona. No, we go to Corona. Watch the game at Corona.
00:44:51
Speaker 4: You got to eat inside, though, right? They got food and stuff or no?
00:44:56
Speaker 1: No, you got to get food across the street. I'm trying to go somewhere where... You let us bring the food over, though. What about such a wine?
00:45:01
Speaker 2: Is that close? Such a wine. They're going to kill us, by the way. Y'all keep saying such a wine.
00:45:07
Speaker 3: For real, if y'all not doing that on Sunday, let's go hang out and watch a football.
00:45:11
Speaker 2: Game this Sunday. I'm down, bro. I'll save a space for Chris. It'll be all right.
00:45:16
Speaker 1: See, that's why we can't have night stuff. We got to end this show. Thank y'all so much. This is, hey, I am James John, your host. That is Ken Miller, the godfather of little comedy. That is my dog, a fellow comedian, and our sponsor from Coffin, and Len Jeff, the Batman Coffin.
00:45:34
Speaker 2: We love y'all. We will see you next week. Hey, be good to one another. Stay safe.
00:45:37
Speaker 5: Yes, sir.
00:45:38
Speaker 2: Can't tell them what to do.
00:45:39
Speaker 3: Take your ass to bed, and yo, have a good weekend, and go Carolina Panthers.
00:45:44
Speaker 2: Amen.
00:45:57
Speaker 5: Thank you.
