WEBVTT
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Oh God, quick quick question for you. I want to
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hear your thoughts on to know what's on your mind.
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I've got a quick quick question for the answers.
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Not important. I'm just by the week.
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You can talk tonight. So what's your favorite did you get?
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Daniel have BROI see best friends in comedy writ.
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If there's an answer that I'm gonna find, I think
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you have a great time.
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I think you have a great time. You.
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Hey, everyone, We've got a bit of a different, very
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special episode for you today. We are thrilled to announce
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that we are the exclusive home of a new, old
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podcast series. We're gonna debut the first episode of Dead
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Presidents with Daniel O'Brien today right here on the main feed,
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and after that, if you want to listen to the
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remaining four episodes, you can do so by subscribing to
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our Patreon. But first you get this first taste for
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free the way drug dealers do it. And I'm gonna
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give you some background. Years ago, I recorded this show
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called Dead Presidents with Daniel O'Brien for a network or
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an app.
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That no longer exists.
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We're just going out to a bunch of funny people
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and trying to get them to make exclusive shows as
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a way to lower subscribers to download this new app.
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And it didn't work. The app collapsed completely.
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And the show show Somebody Else, it just disappeared.
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I recorded five episodes of a show very differentrom quick Question.
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But if you like me and you like my book
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How to Fight Presidents and the kind of writing that
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I used to do at Crack, you will like this series.
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It's all about presidents who are on money and as
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the spirit of the Internet.
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And I was bummed, and I was trying to track
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it down for a while and I didn't know how.
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So I reached out to a friend of ours, the
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guy who first connected me with this podcast a million
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years ago, Lex Friedman, and with the help of podcast
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royalty like Brett Morrison, Dana Wickens, he tracked it down
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and gave it to me, and I have it, and
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so we're putting it on the Patreon And I talked
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to the people who who found it in a hard
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drive somewhere.
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And I was like, do I need can I just like,
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can I just have this and put it? Is anyone
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going to be mad at me?
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And they're just like, I don't think anyone who would
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be mad knows what this is or who you are, Like,
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no one even knows how to properly be mad about this.
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I also want to give some my own personal background
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of this, like this is like a Rushamon episode. My
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introduction to this was that Daniel was doing a podcast
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called Debt Presidence, right after he had written his book
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of how to Fight Presidents and obviously a perfect fit.
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He was like, well, you do a pilot with me,
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and he and I did a pilot episode where I
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was just the guest, and it was just like a
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a proving case. It was like, hey, look the hell
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good this podcast. It could be fun, it could be good.
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And it was the first time that I think Daniel
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and I had done a podcast alone together, and it
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was boy did it sing in a way where I
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was like electric, this was so fun, Like this was
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such it was fun to do, It sounded good, it
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was great. That was a pilot, So that wasn't even
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like their first episode of whatever this ended up being. No,
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they got guests that are a lot funnier than I am.
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That which is good like, and I was like, this
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is I was genuinely excited for this show, so as
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we introduced these again. I am excited that we're putting
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this out on our on our network because it's great.
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It's these were wonderf shows and they shouldn't be shut
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away in the dark forever.
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Yeah, you were so incredibly gracious about recording an episode
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of Podcasts that was not going to be released for
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anyone ever, including now that the pilot episode has definitely
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gone forever. But like, we recorded that episode and my
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producer Ericamu, who did fantastic work, she was like, that
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was a really good test episode.
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And I was like, yeah, let's fucking run.
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It's like it.
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Was a really good test episode.
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And I went, like myself heartbroken, ready to break Soren's
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heart to tell him that this like electrifying thing that
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we did will never see the light of day.
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And even then you were just like, no, I know,
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it's a pilot. I wasn't expecting it to It was.
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It was fun.
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I'm glad I got to help because that's just.
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The kind of guy Soren is.
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He's terrific. He is nowhere in this show.
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Still really good though, I'll say that it's I think
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it's really good, and I I think that that was
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also the precursor to this where we realized like, oh,
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we actually have and we would go to after this,
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we would go to conventions and stuff, and Daniel and
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I would do a panel together and it was like, oh,
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this is really fun and good like it should fun.
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Capitalize on this energy.
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And so if anything, what you're listening to ends up
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being the precursor to this podcast.
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That's right.
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But in the meantime, what you'll what it will practically
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sound like is a thoroughly researched comedy podcast where I
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explain a president president to a guest who has very
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little knowledge of that president, and they riff and learn
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as we try to figure out why presidents were put
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on certain bills of American currency, and a bunch of
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funny stories along the way. These guests include Hannah Heart,
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Leona Maybe, Patrick Stump from Fallout Boy, Golden Globe winner,
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Rachel Bloom, and Ralph Garman, one of my genuine audio heroes.
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Those are all the guests on the show. None of
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them are sore and it sucks, but it's great we
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got all those fun guests to listen to me blab
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run about presidents. You can listen to the first episode
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about George Washington and the dollar Bill with Hannah Hart
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here right now once we finished talking, and the rest
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you can listen to if you subscribe to our podcast
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and pay a certain amount of money on Patreon. That
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is the only place this podcast will live for the
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arrest of time. I am exacting my very slow plot
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to retain the rights of all the things that I
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made for years that are otherwise just going to disappear.
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And this is the first step, and listen to it.
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I e.
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By, take a minute and think about what you've got
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in your wallet, some credit cards, your ID, and if
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you're me, this will also include, as of right now,
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let me check a burrito receipt and adorably delusionally optimistic
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just in case condom that I've been holding on to
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since really my last birthday. Chances are you also have
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a few pictures of some dead white guys in your wallet,
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which will be especially true of the serial killers in
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my audience, but also vaguely true of most of you.
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And these guys are super dead and super white. There's
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George Andrew Abraham Ulysses. Yep, we're talking about dead presidents
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on dollar bills.
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Yo.
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Welcome to the very first episode of Dead Presidents with
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Daniel O'Brien.
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I am your host, yep, Daniel O'Brien.
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Some of you might know me from the comedy website
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crack dot com, where I'm the creative director of video,
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and some subset of you folks know that I'm a
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hardcore presidential joking I've studied America presidents for over ten years.
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In my free time, I make videos about presidents, and
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last year I wrote a book about fighting our crazy
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presidents that John Hodgman called very funny and the United
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States Government called lightheartedly treasonous. Still, there's one weird presidential
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question that I haven't been able to answer. Why are
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these guys on our money? Even the US Treasury, and
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this is true, doesn't know, or at least they claim
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to not know why certain presidents were chosen to appear
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on our cash. And since the Treasury Department will never
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reveal why certain presidents were chosen for certain denominations, I
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think you and I can figure it out with some
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help from our guests. So on this episode of Dead Presidents,
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We're going to start at the obvious source, the man
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on the mighty one dollar bill, our very first American
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President George Washington joining me to talk Washington's is YouTube
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comedian Hannah Heart of My Drunk Kitchen Fame.
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Hi Hannah, Hey, yay, welcome.
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You know I liked about that intro. I liked when
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you said, now, and this is true, the bubble law, treasury,
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da da da da da. Then it implies that everything
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else you say is not true. Yeah, you don't add
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and this is true.
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I'm gonna call out all the facts, and you could
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just assume that everything else is just complete bullshit and
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this is true.
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I like that now because every time I give a
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vague science facts, I'm like, now, this is actually real. Yeah,
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and it just kind of, I guess, discredits everything else.
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I say, well, great.
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Way to start a podcast, and I want everyone to
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know that I've asked you to prepare absolutely nothing.
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We just grabbed you from the street and brought you.
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Sure. I was walking by, just picking up a banana
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and a cup of coffee and right.
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So just some casual kidnapping, Yeah, is fine because it's
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a podcast, so it's.
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Art put in the cash and casual. Yeah.
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Oh it begins. I love it. But just you've nothing prepared.
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But I just want you what are your like knee
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jerk thoughts on the one dollar bill? Has it impacted
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you in any meaningful way?
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Wow? You know when I first think of the one
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dollar bill, I actually think of the dollar coin. That's
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the first time I really put any time like thinking
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about money, which is when they came out with like
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the sokajuwia coin, like the gold coins, And that was
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the first time I thought to myself, Wait a minute, Yeah,
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all the faces on all of our currency are dead
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white guys. Yeah, yeah, what's that all about.
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Yeah, so that's that's a patriarchy.
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Yeah. I like dollars. I like dollar dollar bills, y'all,
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big fan of money in general. But you know, we
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could also live without it. I think we'd be fine.
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Yeah, I'll just come back to burning man and like
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a barter system. That is such a bold stance, Like
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you've just immediately shut down my entire podcast.
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If we live without.
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Money, No, no, nobody's great.
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I have a very limited connection to dollar bills. I
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brought one today and this is and this is another
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thing that is true. I have right in front of
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a dollar bill that has been ripped in half by
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my dog Jackson.
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Did that? Oh? My god Andrew Jackson.
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He's named after Andrew Jackson, yeat. His full name is Jackson.
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President O'Bryan. I really like President's Hannah. Did you know? Well, yeah,
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I just and he's not a destructive dog. I leave
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him home a lot and he's totally fine. And there
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was just a few days ago I came home and
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this dollar bill was like I want to say wordlessly,
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but it's a dog, so that always happens, just ripped
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in half and like dropped on the.
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Ground or was a dollar bill. I don't know it
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was a dog because there's I mean, it could have
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been a ghost. I guess nothing else.
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I mean, but I'm trying to figure out how your
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dog ripped this and out it's a it's a very
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clear tear.
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It's not chewed up or anything. There's not a piece missing.
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Just I think my best guess is that I was
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working a lot and my dog is trying to send
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me a message that is like miss Yeah, money, money
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isn't everything, and I also isn't it.
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I don't want to say sacrilege. What was the word
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to use, like vaguely trees and this yeah.
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Yeah, yeah, I think it's illegal. What he did.
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I think it's illegal.
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Government can come and take him.
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Am I being? Am I doing something illegal right now? Yes?
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Absolutely?
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Yeah, I've got your fingerprints on the money. Now, so
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my dog is free and clear.
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There's a lot of stuff on that money. Yeah, oh yeah,
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many more interesting things that by fingerprints.
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I'll tell you that much. Yeah, there's you got, you
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got some.
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No, I'm just saying, you know, dollars they got. I
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think that. What else is it that.
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I've read? Fecal matter? I've read that there's lots of
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fecal matter on money.
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That and if that isn't a statement about our economy,
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I don't know what.
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Yeah, let's get absolutely real. Yeah so that's my only
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dollar story. And we're gonna get into the president soon.
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But I again, you prepared nothing, So it's fine if
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you don't, But you have any Why do you think
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George Washington in particular is on the one?
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Why do I think George Washington is on the one? Well,
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it's actually kind of obvious, right, he's number one, Right, Yeah,
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he's a first president.
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That should be enough.
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Yeah.
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The dollar. The dollar is something that you know is
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I would say, probably the most common form of currency
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in the States, and so why not have George Washington,
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our Lord and savior, absolutely on the dollar bill.
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Yeah, let's get into it. Let's talk about dollar bills
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a little bit. The average life span of a dollar bill.
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This is just some some fun fact. Few is five
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point you're true? Yeah, these are all true. The first
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dollar bill ever printed featured Lincoln's Lincoln's Secretary of Treasury
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Salmon Chase, otherwise known as some fucking guy.
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Wait wait wait wait, wait wait wait. The first dollar
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bill ever printed. Yeah, featured Lincoln's Secretary of Treasury Salmon P.
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Chase.
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So when did George Washington get on the dollar a
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few years.
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After that in the eighteen hundreds at some point. But
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it was it's crazy that.
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As everybody was like, wait, who is this guy? Right?
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Well, I think it's amazing that the guy tasked with like, hey,
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we should uh create money for the people you know
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who would.
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Look good on it.
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Me just just the Secretary of Treasury was like, this
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is this is people will really like seeing me. Even
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though I personally know President Lincoln in real life right now,
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I'm still gonna I still think I belong on this bill.
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Yeah, definitely definitely not President you know our current president,
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but you know me me.
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I made up money, so and Chase everyone loves me.
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No country has ever had money before now. But I
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actually think that that's a really American way of looking
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at things, which is believing that no other country has
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ever done something that we're about to do and revolutionary.
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Right, all of our thoughts.
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You mentioned coins before the dollar coin, and this is
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one of my favorite things to learn in the research
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of this podcast that in twenty twelve there was this
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amazing House subcommittee meeting about replacing the dollar bill with
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dollar coins. And you can read the transcripts like I did,
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like a maniac. That's like forty two pages of the
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transcripts of this subcommittee meeting, because that's filled with a
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lot of fascinating stuff. The request was shot down. I mean,
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obviously it would have saved the American taxpayer four point
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four billion dollars over thirty years what, but.
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It was still shot shut down. One of the more.
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Residant objections there was Representative let me get his name,
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Lacy Clay, who, and this is also true, said men
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don't like carrying coins in the pockets of their suits.
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That was like all the objections that everyone like.
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Murmured, yeah, because every single man in America, every single
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person in America, first of all, so that's only talking
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about men. Every single person in America has a suit
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and they'd rather fill it with their crisp dollar bills
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and loosens of a coin.
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Men don't prefer to jangle about like some silly woman.
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I suppose, but it.
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Was crazy that like you know who did and this
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is true and fun. You know who was overwhelmingly in
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favor of switching to the coins is strippers like strippers
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as a union, I suppose. I don't know if this
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poll was brought just tole Yeah, I don't know if
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it was brought just to them or if they came
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out of the woodwork to say this would be really great.
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But they know that men don't like throwing coins. They
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don't want to go to a ship club and bring
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a bunch of coins. It's not like an easy way
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to right. But wouldn't slide that in someone's g strings.
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So if all dollars were coins, that means most men
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are going to be using fives and above.
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And stringer strippers would object to this.
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No, they want the dollar coin. Oh yeah, have more
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money to them.
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Yeah, so again another strong argument for the dollar point.
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Yeah, so we have two. Yep.
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So we've talked a lot about strippers and coins today.
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Now let's get back to Washington. He's pretty inarguably the
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most important president we've ever had, and we're gonna talk
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about today. Is it streams that he's on the one
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because every other bill has more value and this one
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falls apart after again five point nine years, Jefferson is
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on the two, which is like the rare currency and
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it's interesting and if someone has one, like, oh, that's
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so cool that.
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You have that, you can go to the bank and
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ask for Yeah, I'm not gonna.
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I haven't walked inside of a bank in ten years
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because I'm not a serial killer.
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Oh, because walking into a bank is right up there
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with carry around coins and possibutely, of.
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Course, if I can avoid, if I can use a
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machine instead of like actually interacting with a human, I
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will take that option any day the week.
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Is how you feel like, I like going into a
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bank and getting a crisp two dollars bill.
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That sounds like a fun Wednesday afternoon. Oh you know,
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but again, if George is our most important president, shouldn't
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we put him on like the million or the billion
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or something that is either more valuable or more rare
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or interesting.
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Is this blanket statement that George Washington is the most
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important president like a fact? Or is this your opinion?
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I guess it's your opinion.
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Yeah, yeah, I mean, I don't know if you heard,
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but I said he's pretty inarguably I did hear that.
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I didn't qualify that with this is true, but we'll
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add it in post. But back to Washington. I'm going
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to talk to you about him and why I think
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he belongs on the bill. And you're entitled to jump
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in whenever you want, and you listeners at home cannot.
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This is a prerecorded podcast. There's nothing you can do.
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You can shout. Yeah.
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One of my favorite things about George Washington is his reluctance.
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He truly embodied this idea that all future candidates up
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to and including right now try to ape a echo.
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He said he didn't want to be president.
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He just like had the calling of president thrust upon him,
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like Cincinnatus before him.
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He was a farmer who became a soldier.
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When his country needed him to, and then he went
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back to being a farmer, and then his country needed
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him to be a commander, so he went back to
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that and he would have been a farmer, but then
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his country just like needed him to be president. There
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was no one who could stand up against him. I know,
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he's just like, I don't want to do this, but
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I heard the calling of God and that was just
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like actually true of him. He was a simple guy.
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He liked gambling and farm work, and every time he
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advanced politically, he always did it with like actual reluctance,
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like he had no ambition, but fate and circumstances had
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thrust upon him for the betterment of the country and people.
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That sounds like getting famous off YouTube.
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00:17:39.400 --> 00:17:43.680
Just get this that you have to carry you to bear.
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You're so brave. I don't see any difference between you
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and George Washington.
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Literally so oh my god. When they reprint the dollar coin,
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oh no, they already did that with Okay, I'm out
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sun see humility being George the.
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We're now changing the point of this podcast back to Washington.
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Even when he stepped down in his speech, he said,
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having now finished the work assigned to me, I retire
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from the great theater of action and bidding an affectionate
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farewell to this august body under whose orders I have
401
00:18:13.799 --> 00:18:16.559
so long acted. I hear all from my commission and
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00:18:16.599 --> 00:18:18.680
take my leave of all the employments of public life.
403
00:18:19.359 --> 00:18:21.839
Wow, which no one talks that cool anymore.
404
00:18:22.119 --> 00:18:25.440
That's amazing. So also would that be when a president's done,
405
00:18:25.680 --> 00:18:27.640
like for them to make So, guys, it's all corruption
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00:18:27.720 --> 00:18:32.079
and a lie. I'm done and good luck America, God.
407
00:18:31.880 --> 00:18:35.119
Bless Yeah, have fun with whoever the next jump is.
408
00:18:35.200 --> 00:18:37.319
Yeah, yeah, he's a joy. But Washington, he didn't like.
409
00:18:37.359 --> 00:18:39.599
Having now finished the work assigned to me is such
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00:18:39.599 --> 00:18:42.559
a beautiful thing to say, And he didn't. He didn't
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try to stay all or anything, even though he could have.
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There weren't term limits. Obviously he could have just kept
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being president. But he felt like he had done he
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had responded to his calling faithfully, and that was time
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to step down. And he also didn't say like, ps,
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I fucking crushed it.
417
00:18:56.799 --> 00:18:58.839
You're welcome. I won the war and then ran this
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country for.
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Eight years, and yeah, give me whatever I want for
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the rest of my life.
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00:19:03.000 --> 00:19:06.039
He didn't say that. He was like, well, I did my.
422
00:19:06.119 --> 00:19:08.480
Job many How many years was he president?
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Eight?
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Eight? So he is that kind of where we get.
425
00:19:11.400 --> 00:19:13.880
But that was only quote unquote it was a term,
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00:19:13.920 --> 00:19:16.519
but not a term anymore because they didn't start limiting it.
427
00:19:16.559 --> 00:19:19.079
Until until FDR.
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00:19:19.400 --> 00:19:23.559
Fr Yeah really did because no one was no one
429
00:19:23.599 --> 00:19:28.759
even wanted to. Yeah, and then FDR was president for
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00:19:28.799 --> 00:19:30.400
three terms and afterwards they were like, that was you
431
00:19:30.440 --> 00:19:31.920
did a really great job, Fdr.
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But we really shouldn't let people be president longer than Washington.
433
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He was a great president, he was.
434
00:19:37.240 --> 00:19:39.599
Yeah, that's why they let it slide a little bit.
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But in general, they made so many rules that like,
436
00:19:42.599 --> 00:19:47.599
no commander or general can be awarded more medals than Washington.
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00:19:47.720 --> 00:19:51.680
So even if someone gets that, they've posthumously added like
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00:19:52.599 --> 00:19:55.079
medals and awards to Washington.
439
00:19:55.440 --> 00:19:58.160
So fantastically silly and like the last thing he would
440
00:19:58.160 --> 00:20:00.960
possibly want, as like a person who is a humble man. Yeah,
441
00:20:01.119 --> 00:20:03.359
be like, oh I'm debt. Oh you're giving me awards.
442
00:20:03.039 --> 00:20:05.119
Now just because pinning a bunch of medals on my.
443
00:20:05.079 --> 00:20:06.799
Courl trying to d if I me got it, go
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00:20:06.880 --> 00:20:07.279
for it.
445
00:20:07.359 --> 00:20:08.480
Yeah, that was definitely the plan.
446
00:20:08.599 --> 00:20:10.680
Yeah, that's exactly what I wanted.
447
00:20:12.079 --> 00:20:14.880
But this is why today we have politicians who refuse
448
00:20:14.960 --> 00:20:18.319
to admit they have presidential ambitions until they're actually running,
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like you see that every year.
450
00:20:19.240 --> 00:20:22.119
It's like McCain a few years ago is.
451
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Very coy about like, oh, I don't think I want
452
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to run until the last minute, where he's like, you
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00:20:27.000 --> 00:20:29.039
know what, I was thinking about not running, and then
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00:20:29.079 --> 00:20:30.720
in a dream, God came to me and was like,
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look at the country.
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You have to run.
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Everybody does that kind of thing. Now, Washington set a
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00:20:36.359 --> 00:20:41.079
president precedent. Oh I love that, President President.
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00:20:41.359 --> 00:20:43.960
Yeah, I love that, and everyone since has followed it.
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00:20:44.039 --> 00:20:46.400
That makes him the one, and that alone should be
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00:20:46.480 --> 00:20:49.680
enough to justify him being on the bill. But there's
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00:20:49.759 --> 00:20:52.000
something that I need to bring up regarding resiliency, because
463
00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:54.079
we mentioned earlier that a House subcommittee got together to
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try to replace the dollar bill with coins.
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It's the smart move, it's the move that we.
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Should adopt because it would save us all that money
467
00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:02.799
because coins would survive much longer than dollar bills, which
468
00:21:02.920 --> 00:21:05.240
die so easily. But Americans refuse to make the switch,
469
00:21:05.319 --> 00:21:08.039
so the dollar persists, which means by all metrics of logic,
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we should be killing the dollar bill, but refuses to die,
471
00:21:11.079 --> 00:21:16.240
just like George fucking Washington. I'm gonna say something that
472
00:21:16.319 --> 00:21:18.519
is easy to say with the benefit of history. We're
473
00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:21.839
gonna say it anyway. George Washington should be dead, which
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is fine to say now when he's been dead for
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a very long time. But I'm saying he should have
476
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been even deader, much much sooner, because he was a
477
00:21:28.880 --> 00:21:30.880
maniac who enjoyed being shot at.
478
00:21:31.319 --> 00:21:33.240
Well, okay, thanks of taking a little.
479
00:21:33.000 --> 00:21:34.839
Bit of a turn. Yeah yeah, And that's also a
480
00:21:34.880 --> 00:21:35.200
true thing.
481
00:21:35.200 --> 00:21:37.039
I'm not first he was humble. Now he's a bit
482
00:21:37.079 --> 00:21:38.079
of a sadist. Yeah.
483
00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:41.119
Yeah, he's a pretty kooky guy, our first president. And
484
00:21:41.160 --> 00:21:43.519
it's not like this is another true thing. It's not
485
00:21:43.680 --> 00:21:45.640
conjecture that he liked being shot at, and it's not
486
00:21:45.680 --> 00:21:47.960
like a tough guy who's like, come at me kind
487
00:21:48.000 --> 00:21:49.920
of thing. This is a quote from a letter to
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00:21:49.960 --> 00:21:52.200
his brother about his time on the battlefield during the
489
00:21:52.240 --> 00:21:54.799
War for Independence. He said, I heard the bullets whistle,
490
00:21:54.839 --> 00:21:57.359
and believe me, there is something charming to the sound
491
00:21:57.359 --> 00:22:01.599
of bullets. Okay, insane thing to say, And there's.
492
00:22:01.480 --> 00:22:03.640
Something charming to the sound of bullets.
493
00:22:03.839 --> 00:22:06.799
Yeah, wow, I disagree.
494
00:22:06.920 --> 00:22:08.039
I strongly disagree.
495
00:22:08.119 --> 00:22:10.160
And this, according to rumor, prompted King George the Third
496
00:22:10.200 --> 00:22:12.880
to remark that Washington's attitude would change if he'd hurt
497
00:22:12.880 --> 00:22:13.759
a few more bullets.
498
00:22:13.960 --> 00:22:15.279
And as we all know, one of those.
499
00:22:15.240 --> 00:22:16.920
George's is on the dollar bill and the other one
500
00:22:16.960 --> 00:22:20.559
is on toilet paper city silly brides, money or pamplets.
501
00:22:20.559 --> 00:22:22.440
I have no idea. I don't know what King George
502
00:22:22.480 --> 00:22:23.400
the Third's face is on.
503
00:22:23.880 --> 00:22:26.559
It was not just that Washington liked getting shot at,
504
00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:30.079
like he would return from battle completely unharmed, with bullet
505
00:22:30.079 --> 00:22:34.119
holes in his jacket and his horse shot out from
506
00:22:34.160 --> 00:22:37.440
under him. Oh my god, he lost two horses in
507
00:22:37.599 --> 00:22:39.839
the same battle. I want to be there when he
508
00:22:39.920 --> 00:22:41.160
goes back to home base.
509
00:22:41.279 --> 00:22:43.599
Is like, you guys are gonna You're gonna get this.
510
00:22:43.720 --> 00:22:45.039
I need a third horse. It's crazy.
511
00:22:45.039 --> 00:22:46.640
I know, it's so fun. I'm so sorry, but I
512
00:22:46.680 --> 00:22:49.680
need I need one more horse. First Sworddad, I'm alive.
513
00:22:49.759 --> 00:22:52.359
Yeah, can't promise this one won't get shot. And like George,
514
00:22:52.359 --> 00:22:53.960
I don't think you're good at this. And we really
515
00:22:54.000 --> 00:22:57.680
need horses for the people who don't keep losing them.
516
00:22:58.000 --> 00:23:01.359
Oh my god, that's incredible. Yeah, did anybody check? Wait,
517
00:23:01.880 --> 00:23:07.319
remember that movie not Unbroken? What's that movie with? Uh?
518
00:23:07.400 --> 00:23:10.440
Unbreakable unbreakable the George Washingtons.
519
00:23:10.559 --> 00:23:11.920
Yeah, yeah, that's what this was about.
520
00:23:12.039 --> 00:23:16.000
Yeah yeah, But he'd gotten shot at so many times
521
00:23:16.000 --> 00:23:19.400
that he, like in letters, had said that he didn't
522
00:23:19.440 --> 00:23:22.119
think he could be killed. Oh, like he really and
523
00:23:22.119 --> 00:23:24.000
and the thing that is scary to me is that.
524
00:23:25.799 --> 00:23:27.720
I can't.
525
00:23:27.759 --> 00:23:30.079
I can't disprove him like he eventually died. But he
526
00:23:30.160 --> 00:23:33.799
was like, I think I'm so full of like goodness
527
00:23:33.799 --> 00:23:36.519
and and fate and Providence need me so much that
528
00:23:36.599 --> 00:23:37.720
I can't die in battle.
529
00:23:38.400 --> 00:23:39.559
No one can prove him wrong.
530
00:23:39.720 --> 00:23:41.960
Wow. What a complex guy, you know. On one hand,
531
00:23:41.960 --> 00:23:44.640
he saying, I am I'm burdened with the task of
532
00:23:44.720 --> 00:23:47.839
running this country and rising to to the my calling.
533
00:23:48.319 --> 00:23:50.480
And also, by the way, like you can't kill me.
534
00:23:50.680 --> 00:23:55.519
Yeah, I'm just a humble farmer turned soldier turned.
535
00:23:55.359 --> 00:23:58.240
God, So please follow me into battle.
536
00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:02.599
Speaking about one of the things that people forget about Washington,
537
00:24:02.680 --> 00:24:05.599
or that they didn't know, depending on the thoroughness of
538
00:24:05.880 --> 00:24:07.119
your public school system.
539
00:24:07.440 --> 00:24:09.400
He lost more battles than he won.
540
00:24:10.640 --> 00:24:13.119
And also there were better commanders alive in the country,
541
00:24:13.160 --> 00:24:15.119
but he was chosen because the people loved him. And
542
00:24:15.119 --> 00:24:18.640
I don't want to beat a dead horse. But it's
543
00:24:18.680 --> 00:24:20.559
in the same way the current Americans prefer having dollar
544
00:24:20.599 --> 00:24:23.759
bills than dollar coins, even though coins make way more sense,
545
00:24:23.799 --> 00:24:25.599
Like there were better commanders, but they were like.
546
00:24:25.839 --> 00:24:29.039
No, we prefer George. We like we like this guy.
547
00:24:29.079 --> 00:24:31.880
We just like him, and yeah, we're pretty sure he's invincible,
548
00:24:31.920 --> 00:24:35.400
so stick with him. Yeah, but he shouldn't have been successful.
549
00:24:35.440 --> 00:24:37.960
He was rash and short tempered on the battlefield and
550
00:24:38.039 --> 00:24:41.279
took took battles very personally.
551
00:24:41.240 --> 00:24:42.799
And took horses to their grave.
552
00:24:42.920 --> 00:24:44.799
Yeah, yeah, he just killed. We lost so many good
553
00:24:44.839 --> 00:24:46.319
horses to Washington because he.
554
00:24:46.559 --> 00:24:49.359
Saw every battles like a dick measuring contest, like like
555
00:24:50.079 --> 00:24:53.519
an opposing force was there, and it was like, oh,
556
00:24:53.559 --> 00:24:55.039
they think they're they think they're better than me. We'll
557
00:24:55.079 --> 00:24:59.440
let me show them what I've got and throw wave
558
00:24:59.480 --> 00:25:01.279
after wave of my soldiers to prove.
559
00:25:01.319 --> 00:25:03.079
Oh wow, how good I am this. Yeah, that's not
560
00:25:03.160 --> 00:25:06.960
the best plan, right, strategically, Right, we had to switch that.
561
00:25:06.920 --> 00:25:09.039
Like, we lost a number of battles because early on
562
00:25:09.079 --> 00:25:11.400
he just kept stubbornly.
563
00:25:10.960 --> 00:25:14.000
Throwing men as somebody who is a demigod that can't die.
564
00:25:14.200 --> 00:25:16.319
Is like, look, guys, just run out there, don't get
565
00:25:16.319 --> 00:25:18.599
shot by any of their bullets, right, just take a
566
00:25:18.640 --> 00:25:20.319
couple of horses down and then just keep going.
567
00:25:20.440 --> 00:25:21.079
Don't worry.
568
00:25:21.160 --> 00:25:22.119
Why are they dying?
569
00:25:22.359 --> 00:25:25.640
Yeah, guys, bullets don't work on us. Just go It's fine.
570
00:25:25.640 --> 00:25:28.039
I don't forget it wasn't They didn't start really turning
571
00:25:28.079 --> 00:25:30.079
the battle around until he embraced this style of like
572
00:25:30.240 --> 00:25:31.839
strategic retreat.
573
00:25:31.480 --> 00:25:34.359
Which ended up saving the day in the end. Yeah.
574
00:25:34.400 --> 00:25:36.079
He sent his men into battle even when the odds
575
00:25:36.079 --> 00:25:38.000
were sacked against them, and he refused a retreat her
576
00:25:38.000 --> 00:25:39.960
back down, even at the cost of human lives, all
577
00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:41.759
because he wanted his enemy to know that they weren't
578
00:25:41.960 --> 00:25:45.759
as brave as he was, or that there there Dick's
579
00:25:45.759 --> 00:25:49.680
weren't as big and crazy crazy. Yeah, that was Washington's stance,
580
00:25:50.759 --> 00:25:54.160
which are the perfect parallels between him and the Dollar
581
00:25:54.200 --> 00:25:57.039
Billy becoming clear. Yet he was wrong and rational and impractical,
582
00:25:57.079 --> 00:25:59.559
but it still somehow worked for him. And we're still
583
00:25:59.640 --> 00:26:02.000
keeping the our bill even though it's patently impractical and
584
00:26:02.039 --> 00:26:02.599
bad for us.
585
00:26:02.920 --> 00:26:06.880
That's wow. Yeah, I'm seeing this parallel you've drawn. Yeah, good, Hey,
586
00:26:06.960 --> 00:26:08.920
you're taking you're taking us on a journey, sir.
587
00:26:09.039 --> 00:26:11.240
The podcast does not work if you don't see the parallel.
588
00:26:12.559 --> 00:26:15.359
But now that we're both in total agreement that I'm
589
00:26:15.359 --> 00:26:18.400
one hundred percent right about this, the question becomes how
590
00:26:18.480 --> 00:26:21.160
because we we've laid out that Washington shouldn't have won
591
00:26:21.200 --> 00:26:22.759
the revolution, but history tells us that he did.
592
00:26:23.279 --> 00:26:23.400
So.
593
00:26:23.839 --> 00:26:26.119
How great question me.
594
00:26:26.359 --> 00:26:26.799
Good job.
595
00:26:26.839 --> 00:26:30.400
That's a fascinating question, Dad. This is Dan talks to
596
00:26:30.480 --> 00:26:32.160
people about his favorite subject, President.
597
00:26:32.240 --> 00:26:33.279
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
598
00:26:33.680 --> 00:26:35.599
In the midpoint of every episode of the Guest, We'll
599
00:26:35.640 --> 00:26:37.599
just like leave and I'll continue yammering.
600
00:26:37.720 --> 00:26:39.160
Yeah, nothing like the President.
601
00:26:39.240 --> 00:26:42.720
Yeah, it's so fascinating. I just love coins in general.
602
00:26:44.519 --> 00:26:46.039
Tell me more things, Dad, I will.
603
00:26:46.519 --> 00:26:48.839
Washington firmly believed that providence or fate was on his
604
00:26:48.880 --> 00:26:50.480
side in everything he did, and you can read in
605
00:26:50.480 --> 00:26:52.519
his journal and the Rider letters that survived that he
606
00:26:52.599 --> 00:26:55.920
only very briefly doubted America's chances, and even then, when
607
00:26:55.920 --> 00:26:58.000
he did, it was less about America and more about
608
00:26:58.359 --> 00:27:01.960
the weakness and lack of discipline among the men around
609
00:27:02.039 --> 00:27:04.799
him that he should have been teaching disciplined.
610
00:27:04.319 --> 00:27:08.079
The weakness and lack of demigod status around the fallible
611
00:27:08.160 --> 00:27:10.240
mortals muddying up his plat right.
612
00:27:10.279 --> 00:27:14.240
The fact that these cowards kept dying when shot by bullets. Ridiculous. Yeah,
613
00:27:14.279 --> 00:27:16.440
but in his mind, he and his cause were always right.
614
00:27:16.480 --> 00:27:19.319
Even in the face of overwhelming odds. He was like, oh, huh, weird,
615
00:27:19.880 --> 00:27:21.599
I'm supposed to win this. It's like no one told
616
00:27:21.640 --> 00:27:25.400
them that I'm George fucking Washington. And that's how first
617
00:27:25.400 --> 00:27:27.440
time commander won a war against the most powerful army
618
00:27:27.440 --> 00:27:27.880
and navy in.
619
00:27:27.880 --> 00:27:30.039
The world, which is sheer, blind.
620
00:27:29.759 --> 00:27:31.440
Madness and all those dead bodies.
621
00:27:31.519 --> 00:27:33.799
Yeah yeah, wave after wave of people who believed in him.
622
00:27:33.880 --> 00:27:36.640
Oh god, believe Yeah, this is terrifying.
623
00:27:36.680 --> 00:27:38.480
I know, it's crazy, right, I'm really good to believe
624
00:27:38.480 --> 00:27:39.079
in things or not.
625
00:27:39.680 --> 00:27:42.759
Uh, if you specifically, if you're Washington, yes, if you're
626
00:27:42.759 --> 00:27:44.759
anyone else, no, no, it doesn't work out for you.
627
00:27:44.880 --> 00:27:45.119
Yeah.
628
00:27:45.160 --> 00:27:47.200
And most of us aren't Washington. But they did a
629
00:27:47.240 --> 00:27:50.920
poll recently and in fact none of us are anyhow.
630
00:27:51.079 --> 00:27:52.839
I thought maybe a little bit me, but no.
631
00:27:53.440 --> 00:27:55.599
Was that like in the census last year? Are you
632
00:27:55.599 --> 00:28:02.799
George Washington? And a vast majority said no, Yeah, yeah, yes, yeah, coincidence.
633
00:28:02.480 --> 00:28:04.240
They were wrong. Yeah, they were not the real one.
634
00:28:04.279 --> 00:28:05.599
They're actually just named that. Yeah.
635
00:28:05.880 --> 00:28:07.519
Back to Washington, he said he was going to win
636
00:28:07.640 --> 00:28:08.000
and he did.
637
00:28:08.079 --> 00:28:09.599
He said he couldn't be killed, and he said it
638
00:28:09.640 --> 00:28:12.799
with such casual authority uncertainty that I don't know, I'm
639
00:28:12.839 --> 00:28:14.640
not going to tell him wrong, and no one else did,
640
00:28:14.920 --> 00:28:16.039
even death waited on him.
641
00:28:16.359 --> 00:28:19.640
He died December of seventeen ninety nine.
642
00:28:20.200 --> 00:28:21.839
He fell ill, and a team of doctors tried for
643
00:28:21.880 --> 00:28:24.799
hours to restore his health, and then Washington, the most
644
00:28:24.839 --> 00:28:27.359
important person in the world at the time, sent the
645
00:28:27.359 --> 00:28:31.039
doctors away. On his deathbed, Washington told his aid Tobias Lear,
646
00:28:31.599 --> 00:28:34.640
I am just going, and then he died while taking
647
00:28:34.680 --> 00:28:35.440
his own pulse.
648
00:28:36.039 --> 00:28:39.839
Oh my god, yeah, wow, I want to go with
649
00:28:39.920 --> 00:28:44.480
that conviction. Yeah, hey, hey guys, you know what I'm done. Yeah, oh,
650
00:28:44.519 --> 00:28:47.240
I comically tilted my head to the side. Where's at home?
651
00:28:48.119 --> 00:28:48.559
At home?
652
00:28:48.640 --> 00:28:50.960
Yeah yeah, and like taking his own pulse, I guess
653
00:28:50.960 --> 00:28:53.640
because there weren't like machines that were doing the beep
654
00:28:53.680 --> 00:28:55.640
thing back then, so he was just like, I want
655
00:28:55.640 --> 00:28:56.039
to die.
656
00:28:56.079 --> 00:28:58.839
I want to make sure still still alive. Oh here
657
00:28:58.880 --> 00:28:59.599
it comes there.
658
00:28:59.599 --> 00:28:59.759
It is.
659
00:29:02.240 --> 00:29:04.920
So my final takeaways from Washington's life and specifically how
660
00:29:04.920 --> 00:29:08.119
they relate to the dollar bill. They're both the first
661
00:29:08.680 --> 00:29:12.839
thing and I put an asterisk on that on the
662
00:29:12.880 --> 00:29:14.759
word first actually because they're the first thing that we
663
00:29:14.839 --> 00:29:18.720
know of. But both of them coincidentally had predecessors, Like
664
00:29:19.079 --> 00:29:22.359
he wasn't he's the first technical president of the United States.
665
00:29:22.559 --> 00:29:25.480
But when the Continental Congress met and they're officially like,
666
00:29:26.359 --> 00:29:28.640
we're not part of Great Britain anymore. There was a
667
00:29:28.680 --> 00:29:31.440
president of that, John Hanson, I think, but no one
668
00:29:31.480 --> 00:29:34.039
talks about him. So there's technically a president of what
669
00:29:34.079 --> 00:29:36.640
would be America, and we're like, now we don't care
670
00:29:36.680 --> 00:29:37.680
George Washington.
671
00:29:37.440 --> 00:29:39.799
Just in the same way that tall guy, that tall, humble,
672
00:29:39.920 --> 00:29:42.480
demigod guy. I can't see that glow about him. Let's
673
00:29:43.000 --> 00:29:43.960
will you be president?
674
00:29:44.279 --> 00:29:46.960
Yeah, even in the first election, John Hanson was like,
675
00:29:47.240 --> 00:29:49.160
I don't know, I'm I kind of nailed it.
676
00:29:49.240 --> 00:29:52.079
I have a little bit of experience being president. No,
677
00:29:52.200 --> 00:29:53.680
we still don't want me, okay, got it.
678
00:29:53.839 --> 00:29:55.440
In the same way that the dollar bill was, like
679
00:29:55.680 --> 00:29:58.559
the first one was Sam and Chase, We're still like, no,
680
00:29:58.759 --> 00:30:00.240
that doesn't count the first anything.
681
00:30:00.240 --> 00:30:02.160
No one's gonna remember your name except Daniel.
682
00:30:02.400 --> 00:30:04.759
Wow, not much as except for Daniel and Brant, and
683
00:30:04.799 --> 00:30:07.359
not much has changed about presidencies. Huh No, you know,
684
00:30:07.799 --> 00:30:10.160
or the way that people choose their leader to follow.
685
00:30:10.279 --> 00:30:12.319
Yeah. Wow, we'd never learn.
686
00:30:12.319 --> 00:30:14.440
We never learned. Well, we can learn, but that's what
687
00:30:14.480 --> 00:30:15.839
this podcast is about learning.
688
00:30:15.960 --> 00:30:18.599
Yeah, everyone, I hope you wrote down everything I said.
689
00:30:20.319 --> 00:30:21.599
Other similarities between the two.
690
00:30:21.799 --> 00:30:23.480
What a curious respond.
691
00:30:24.839 --> 00:30:25.200
Everybody.
692
00:30:25.240 --> 00:30:26.799
I hope you my words your back?
693
00:30:26.880 --> 00:30:28.680
Yeah, yeah, wrote out.
694
00:30:29.440 --> 00:30:32.240
Memorize this entire conversation like a monologue and deliver it
695
00:30:32.240 --> 00:30:33.680
to strangers so they all know.
696
00:30:34.359 --> 00:30:36.920
Hannah, Yes, do you believe me? Do you think George
697
00:30:36.920 --> 00:30:37.920
should still be on the bill?
698
00:30:38.400 --> 00:30:38.519
Uh?
699
00:30:39.319 --> 00:30:39.480
Go?
700
00:30:41.319 --> 00:30:43.000
Do I believe you do? I think George should still
701
00:30:43.000 --> 00:30:45.839
be on the bill. I you know, I've learned a
702
00:30:45.839 --> 00:30:48.400
lot about George Washington throughout the course of this conversation,
703
00:30:48.759 --> 00:30:53.880
but I still don't miss ufdr Yeah the bill. I
704
00:30:53.920 --> 00:30:56.519
want him on a bill. Maybe take out Andrew Jackson.
705
00:30:56.880 --> 00:30:57.400
I'd be down.
706
00:30:57.519 --> 00:31:01.759
You've seen Jackson's face change. We got bigger. Yeah, it
707
00:31:01.799 --> 00:31:03.359
got bigger. And they use like that's not like.
708
00:31:03.359 --> 00:31:05.759
A person change. No, no, right, I've never seen a
709
00:31:05.759 --> 00:31:07.319
person change any of their currency.
710
00:31:07.359 --> 00:31:09.839
Well, it's gonna happen in your lifetime, buddy, Wow, what
711
00:31:09.880 --> 00:31:12.839
it's going to be, Hamilton, Buddy oh.
712
00:31:12.359 --> 00:31:16.759
Man, bummer Oh well all right, all right, well there's that. Ye,
713
00:31:17.519 --> 00:31:19.680
so yes, I think that Washington is very I mean,
714
00:31:19.720 --> 00:31:20.839
I'm into it. I'm into it.
715
00:31:21.079 --> 00:31:21.559
Okay, good.
716
00:31:21.640 --> 00:31:24.960
Now I'm going to edit out everything so there's no
717
00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:26.519
disagreement and I say, Hannah, do you will leave me?
718
00:31:26.559 --> 00:31:28.039
And you just say I'm into it, and that's gonna
719
00:31:28.039 --> 00:31:29.960
be the cut of the episode.
720
00:31:30.920 --> 00:31:32.880
Do you have any final thoughts we've reached.
721
00:31:32.759 --> 00:31:37.119
The My final thoughts include, take Jackson off the twenty
722
00:31:37.480 --> 00:31:41.559
George Washington way cooler and more fascinating than I ever know.
723
00:31:42.279 --> 00:31:45.759
And also I'm pro dollar coins.
724
00:31:45.920 --> 00:31:50.480
Yeah, I feel I it's always my goal to educate
725
00:31:50.559 --> 00:31:53.039
and inspire, inspire, and.
726
00:31:53.359 --> 00:31:54.880
I've written down everything you've said.
727
00:31:54.960 --> 00:31:57.559
Yeah, good, And I wanted to leave here with you,
728
00:31:57.640 --> 00:32:00.000
like I understand why Washington's on the bill and I support,
729
00:32:00.119 --> 00:32:02.599
but I'm really happy that you've adopted these new causes
730
00:32:02.680 --> 00:32:04.759
like FDR needs to be on money, Andrew Jackson should
731
00:32:04.799 --> 00:32:06.279
be taken off, and we should go to the dollar coins.
732
00:32:06.319 --> 00:32:06.799
Like I like that.
733
00:32:07.079 --> 00:32:09.200
I think George Washington would like that because you know,
734
00:32:09.359 --> 00:32:11.519
of his humble nature, he'd want me to leave the
735
00:32:11.559 --> 00:32:14.039
podcast with goals that were truly true to me.
736
00:32:14.319 --> 00:32:17.400
Yeah, yeah, that's a really good thanks Man. End of
737
00:32:17.440 --> 00:32:39.039
podcast line. Yeah,
1
00:00:00.040 --> 00:00:06.160
Oh God, quick quick question for you. I want to
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hear your thoughts on to know what's on your mind.
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I've got a quick quick question for the answers.
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Not important. I'm just by the week.
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You can talk tonight. So what's your favorite did you get?
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Daniel have BROI see best friends in comedy writ.
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If there's an answer that I'm gonna find, I think
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you have a great time.
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I think you have a great time. You.
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Hey, everyone, We've got a bit of a different, very
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special episode for you today. We are thrilled to announce
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that we are the exclusive home of a new, old
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podcast series. We're gonna debut the first episode of Dead
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Presidents with Daniel O'Brien today right here on the main feed,
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and after that, if you want to listen to the
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remaining four episodes, you can do so by subscribing to
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our Patreon. But first you get this first taste for
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free the way drug dealers do it. And I'm gonna
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give you some background. Years ago, I recorded this show
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called Dead Presidents with Daniel O'Brien for a network or
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an app.
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That no longer exists.
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We're just going out to a bunch of funny people
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and trying to get them to make exclusive shows as
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a way to lower subscribers to download this new app.
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And it didn't work. The app collapsed completely.
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And the show show Somebody Else, it just disappeared.
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I recorded five episodes of a show very differentrom quick Question.
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But if you like me and you like my book
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How to Fight Presidents and the kind of writing that
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I used to do at Crack, you will like this series.
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It's all about presidents who are on money and as
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the spirit of the Internet.
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And I was bummed, and I was trying to track
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it down for a while and I didn't know how.
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So I reached out to a friend of ours, the
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guy who first connected me with this podcast a million
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years ago, Lex Friedman, and with the help of podcast
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royalty like Brett Morrison, Dana Wickens, he tracked it down
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and gave it to me, and I have it, and
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so we're putting it on the Patreon And I talked
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to the people who who found it in a hard
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drive somewhere.
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And I was like, do I need can I just like,
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can I just have this and put it? Is anyone
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going to be mad at me?
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And they're just like, I don't think anyone who would
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be mad knows what this is or who you are, Like,
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no one even knows how to properly be mad about this.
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I also want to give some my own personal background
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of this, like this is like a Rushamon episode. My
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introduction to this was that Daniel was doing a podcast
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called Debt Presidence, right after he had written his book
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of how to Fight Presidents and obviously a perfect fit.
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He was like, well, you do a pilot with me,
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and he and I did a pilot episode where I
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was just the guest, and it was just like a
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a proving case. It was like, hey, look the hell
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good this podcast. It could be fun, it could be good.
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And it was the first time that I think Daniel
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and I had done a podcast alone together, and it
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was boy did it sing in a way where I
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was like electric, this was so fun, Like this was
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such it was fun to do, It sounded good, it
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was great. That was a pilot, So that wasn't even
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like their first episode of whatever this ended up being. No,
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they got guests that are a lot funnier than I am.
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That which is good like, and I was like, this
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is I was genuinely excited for this show, so as
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we introduced these again. I am excited that we're putting
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this out on our on our network because it's great.
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It's these were wonderf shows and they shouldn't be shut
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away in the dark forever.
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Yeah, you were so incredibly gracious about recording an episode
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of Podcasts that was not going to be released for
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anyone ever, including now that the pilot episode has definitely
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gone forever. But like, we recorded that episode and my
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producer Ericamu, who did fantastic work, she was like, that
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was a really good test episode.
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And I was like, yeah, let's fucking run.
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It's like it.
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Was a really good test episode.
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And I went, like myself heartbroken, ready to break Soren's
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heart to tell him that this like electrifying thing that
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we did will never see the light of day.
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And even then you were just like, no, I know,
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it's a pilot. I wasn't expecting it to It was.
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It was fun.
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I'm glad I got to help because that's just.
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The kind of guy Soren is.
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He's terrific. He is nowhere in this show.
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Still really good though, I'll say that it's I think
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it's really good, and I I think that that was
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also the precursor to this where we realized like, oh,
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we actually have and we would go to after this,
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we would go to conventions and stuff, and Daniel and
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I would do a panel together and it was like, oh,
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this is really fun and good like it should fun.
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Capitalize on this energy.
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And so if anything, what you're listening to ends up
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being the precursor to this podcast.
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That's right.
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But in the meantime, what you'll what it will practically
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sound like is a thoroughly researched comedy podcast where I
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explain a president president to a guest who has very
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little knowledge of that president, and they riff and learn
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as we try to figure out why presidents were put
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on certain bills of American currency, and a bunch of
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funny stories along the way. These guests include Hannah Heart,
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Leona Maybe, Patrick Stump from Fallout Boy, Golden Globe winner,
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Rachel Bloom, and Ralph Garman, one of my genuine audio heroes.
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Those are all the guests on the show. None of
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them are sore and it sucks, but it's great we
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got all those fun guests to listen to me blab
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run about presidents. You can listen to the first episode
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about George Washington and the dollar Bill with Hannah Hart
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here right now once we finished talking, and the rest
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you can listen to if you subscribe to our podcast
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and pay a certain amount of money on Patreon. That
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is the only place this podcast will live for the
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arrest of time. I am exacting my very slow plot
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to retain the rights of all the things that I
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made for years that are otherwise just going to disappear.
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And this is the first step, and listen to it.
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I e.
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By, take a minute and think about what you've got
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in your wallet, some credit cards, your ID, and if
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you're me, this will also include, as of right now,
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let me check a burrito receipt and adorably delusionally optimistic
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just in case condom that I've been holding on to
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since really my last birthday. Chances are you also have
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a few pictures of some dead white guys in your wallet,
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which will be especially true of the serial killers in
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my audience, but also vaguely true of most of you.
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And these guys are super dead and super white. There's
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George Andrew Abraham Ulysses. Yep, we're talking about dead presidents
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on dollar bills.
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Yo.
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Welcome to the very first episode of Dead Presidents with
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Daniel O'Brien.
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I am your host, yep, Daniel O'Brien.
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Some of you might know me from the comedy website
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crack dot com, where I'm the creative director of video,
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and some subset of you folks know that I'm a
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hardcore presidential joking I've studied America presidents for over ten years.
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In my free time, I make videos about presidents, and
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last year I wrote a book about fighting our crazy
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presidents that John Hodgman called very funny and the United
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States Government called lightheartedly treasonous. Still, there's one weird presidential
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question that I haven't been able to answer. Why are
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these guys on our money? Even the US Treasury, and
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this is true, doesn't know, or at least they claim
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to not know why certain presidents were chosen to appear
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on our cash. And since the Treasury Department will never
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reveal why certain presidents were chosen for certain denominations, I
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think you and I can figure it out with some
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help from our guests. So on this episode of Dead Presidents,
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We're going to start at the obvious source, the man
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on the mighty one dollar bill, our very first American
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President George Washington joining me to talk Washington's is YouTube
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comedian Hannah Heart of My Drunk Kitchen Fame.
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Hi Hannah, Hey, yay, welcome.
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You know I liked about that intro. I liked when
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you said, now, and this is true, the bubble law, treasury,
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da da da da da. Then it implies that everything
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else you say is not true. Yeah, you don't add
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and this is true.
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I'm gonna call out all the facts, and you could
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just assume that everything else is just complete bullshit and
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this is true.
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I like that now because every time I give a
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vague science facts, I'm like, now, this is actually real. Yeah,
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and it just kind of, I guess, discredits everything else.
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I say, well, great.
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Way to start a podcast, and I want everyone to
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know that I've asked you to prepare absolutely nothing.
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We just grabbed you from the street and brought you.
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Sure. I was walking by, just picking up a banana
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and a cup of coffee and right.
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So just some casual kidnapping, Yeah, is fine because it's
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a podcast, so it's.
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Art put in the cash and casual. Yeah.
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Oh it begins. I love it. But just you've nothing prepared.
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But I just want you what are your like knee
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jerk thoughts on the one dollar bill? Has it impacted
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you in any meaningful way?
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Wow? You know when I first think of the one
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dollar bill, I actually think of the dollar coin. That's
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the first time I really put any time like thinking
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about money, which is when they came out with like
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the sokajuwia coin, like the gold coins, And that was
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the first time I thought to myself, Wait a minute, Yeah,
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all the faces on all of our currency are dead
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white guys. Yeah, yeah, what's that all about.
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Yeah, so that's that's a patriarchy.
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Yeah. I like dollars. I like dollar dollar bills, y'all,
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big fan of money in general. But you know, we
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could also live without it. I think we'd be fine.
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Yeah, I'll just come back to burning man and like
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a barter system. That is such a bold stance, Like
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you've just immediately shut down my entire podcast.
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If we live without.
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Money, No, no, nobody's great.
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I have a very limited connection to dollar bills. I
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brought one today and this is and this is another
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thing that is true. I have right in front of
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a dollar bill that has been ripped in half by
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my dog Jackson.
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Did that? Oh? My god Andrew Jackson.
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He's named after Andrew Jackson, yeat. His full name is Jackson.
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President O'Bryan. I really like President's Hannah. Did you know? Well, yeah,
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I just and he's not a destructive dog. I leave
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him home a lot and he's totally fine. And there
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was just a few days ago I came home and
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this dollar bill was like I want to say wordlessly,
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but it's a dog, so that always happens, just ripped
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in half and like dropped on the.
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Ground or was a dollar bill. I don't know it
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was a dog because there's I mean, it could have
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been a ghost. I guess nothing else.
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I mean, but I'm trying to figure out how your
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dog ripped this and out it's a it's a very
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clear tear.
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It's not chewed up or anything. There's not a piece missing.
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Just I think my best guess is that I was
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working a lot and my dog is trying to send
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me a message that is like miss Yeah, money, money
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isn't everything, and I also isn't it.
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I don't want to say sacrilege. What was the word
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to use, like vaguely trees and this yeah.
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Yeah, yeah, I think it's illegal. What he did.
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I think it's illegal.
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Government can come and take him.
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Am I being? Am I doing something illegal right now? Yes?
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Absolutely?
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Yeah, I've got your fingerprints on the money. Now, so
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my dog is free and clear.
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There's a lot of stuff on that money. Yeah, oh yeah,
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many more interesting things that by fingerprints.
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I'll tell you that much. Yeah, there's you got, you
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got some.
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No, I'm just saying, you know, dollars they got. I
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think that. What else is it that.
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I've read? Fecal matter? I've read that there's lots of
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fecal matter on money.
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That and if that isn't a statement about our economy,
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I don't know what.
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Yeah, let's get absolutely real. Yeah so that's my only
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dollar story. And we're gonna get into the president soon.
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But I again, you prepared nothing, So it's fine if
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you don't, But you have any Why do you think
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George Washington in particular is on the one?
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Why do I think George Washington is on the one? Well,
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it's actually kind of obvious, right, he's number one, Right, Yeah,
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he's a first president.
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That should be enough.
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Yeah.
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The dollar. The dollar is something that you know is
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I would say, probably the most common form of currency
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in the States, and so why not have George Washington,
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our Lord and savior, absolutely on the dollar bill.
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Yeah, let's get into it. Let's talk about dollar bills
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a little bit. The average life span of a dollar bill.
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This is just some some fun fact. Few is five
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point you're true? Yeah, these are all true. The first
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dollar bill ever printed featured Lincoln's Lincoln's Secretary of Treasury
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Salmon Chase, otherwise known as some fucking guy.
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Wait wait wait wait, wait wait wait. The first dollar
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bill ever printed. Yeah, featured Lincoln's Secretary of Treasury Salmon P.
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Chase.
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So when did George Washington get on the dollar a
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few years.
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After that in the eighteen hundreds at some point. But
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it was it's crazy that.
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As everybody was like, wait, who is this guy? Right?
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Well, I think it's amazing that the guy tasked with like, hey,
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we should uh create money for the people you know
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who would.
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Look good on it.
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Me just just the Secretary of Treasury was like, this
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is this is people will really like seeing me. Even
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though I personally know President Lincoln in real life right now,
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I'm still gonna I still think I belong on this bill.
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Yeah, definitely definitely not President you know our current president,
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but you know me me.
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I made up money, so and Chase everyone loves me.
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No country has ever had money before now. But I
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actually think that that's a really American way of looking
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at things, which is believing that no other country has
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ever done something that we're about to do and revolutionary.
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Right, all of our thoughts.
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You mentioned coins before the dollar coin, and this is
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one of my favorite things to learn in the research
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of this podcast that in twenty twelve there was this
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amazing House subcommittee meeting about replacing the dollar bill with
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dollar coins. And you can read the transcripts like I did,
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like a maniac. That's like forty two pages of the
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transcripts of this subcommittee meeting, because that's filled with a
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lot of fascinating stuff. The request was shot down. I mean,
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obviously it would have saved the American taxpayer four point
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four billion dollars over thirty years what, but.
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It was still shot shut down. One of the more.
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Residant objections there was Representative let me get his name,
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Lacy Clay, who, and this is also true, said men
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don't like carrying coins in the pockets of their suits.
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That was like all the objections that everyone like.
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Murmured, yeah, because every single man in America, every single
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person in America, first of all, so that's only talking
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about men. Every single person in America has a suit
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and they'd rather fill it with their crisp dollar bills
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and loosens of a coin.
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Men don't prefer to jangle about like some silly woman.
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I suppose, but it.
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Was crazy that like you know who did and this
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is true and fun. You know who was overwhelmingly in
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favor of switching to the coins is strippers like strippers
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as a union, I suppose. I don't know if this
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poll was brought just tole Yeah, I don't know if
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it was brought just to them or if they came
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out of the woodwork to say this would be really great.
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But they know that men don't like throwing coins. They
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don't want to go to a ship club and bring
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a bunch of coins. It's not like an easy way
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to right. But wouldn't slide that in someone's g strings.
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So if all dollars were coins, that means most men
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are going to be using fives and above.
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And stringer strippers would object to this.
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No, they want the dollar coin. Oh yeah, have more
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money to them.
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Yeah, so again another strong argument for the dollar point.
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Yeah, so we have two. Yep.
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So we've talked a lot about strippers and coins today.
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Now let's get back to Washington. He's pretty inarguably the
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most important president we've ever had, and we're gonna talk
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about today. Is it streams that he's on the one
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because every other bill has more value and this one
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falls apart after again five point nine years, Jefferson is
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on the two, which is like the rare currency and
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it's interesting and if someone has one, like, oh, that's
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so cool that.
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You have that, you can go to the bank and
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ask for Yeah, I'm not gonna.
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I haven't walked inside of a bank in ten years
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because I'm not a serial killer.
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Oh, because walking into a bank is right up there
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with carry around coins and possibutely, of.
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Course, if I can avoid, if I can use a
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machine instead of like actually interacting with a human, I
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will take that option any day the week.
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Is how you feel like, I like going into a
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bank and getting a crisp two dollars bill.
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That sounds like a fun Wednesday afternoon. Oh you know,
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but again, if George is our most important president, shouldn't
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we put him on like the million or the billion
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or something that is either more valuable or more rare
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or interesting.
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Is this blanket statement that George Washington is the most
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important president like a fact? Or is this your opinion?
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I guess it's your opinion.
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Yeah, yeah, I mean, I don't know if you heard,
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but I said he's pretty inarguably I did hear that.
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I didn't qualify that with this is true, but we'll
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add it in post. But back to Washington. I'm going
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to talk to you about him and why I think
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he belongs on the bill. And you're entitled to jump
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in whenever you want, and you listeners at home cannot.
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This is a prerecorded podcast. There's nothing you can do.
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You can shout. Yeah.
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One of my favorite things about George Washington is his reluctance.
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He truly embodied this idea that all future candidates up
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to and including right now try to ape a echo.
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He said he didn't want to be president.
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He just like had the calling of president thrust upon him,
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like Cincinnatus before him.
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He was a farmer who became a soldier.
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When his country needed him to, and then he went
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back to being a farmer, and then his country needed
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him to be a commander, so he went back to
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that and he would have been a farmer, but then
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his country just like needed him to be president. There
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was no one who could stand up against him. I know,
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he's just like, I don't want to do this, but
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I heard the calling of God and that was just
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like actually true of him. He was a simple guy.
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He liked gambling and farm work, and every time he
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advanced politically, he always did it with like actual reluctance,
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like he had no ambition, but fate and circumstances had
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thrust upon him for the betterment of the country and people.
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That sounds like getting famous off YouTube.
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Just get this that you have to carry you to bear.
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You're so brave. I don't see any difference between you
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and George Washington.
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Literally so oh my god. When they reprint the dollar coin,
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oh no, they already did that with Okay, I'm out
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sun see humility being George the.
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We're now changing the point of this podcast back to Washington.
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Even when he stepped down in his speech, he said,
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having now finished the work assigned to me, I retire
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from the great theater of action and bidding an affectionate
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farewell to this august body under whose orders I have
401
00:18:13.799 --> 00:18:16.559
so long acted. I hear all from my commission and
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00:18:16.599 --> 00:18:18.680
take my leave of all the employments of public life.
403
00:18:19.359 --> 00:18:21.839
Wow, which no one talks that cool anymore.
404
00:18:22.119 --> 00:18:25.440
That's amazing. So also would that be when a president's done,
405
00:18:25.680 --> 00:18:27.640
like for them to make So, guys, it's all corruption
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00:18:27.720 --> 00:18:32.079
and a lie. I'm done and good luck America, God.
407
00:18:31.880 --> 00:18:35.119
Bless Yeah, have fun with whoever the next jump is.
408
00:18:35.200 --> 00:18:37.319
Yeah, yeah, he's a joy. But Washington, he didn't like.
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Having now finished the work assigned to me is such
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a beautiful thing to say, And he didn't. He didn't
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try to stay all or anything, even though he could have.
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There weren't term limits. Obviously he could have just kept
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being president. But he felt like he had done he
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had responded to his calling faithfully, and that was time
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to step down. And he also didn't say like, ps,
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I fucking crushed it.
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00:18:56.799 --> 00:18:58.839
You're welcome. I won the war and then ran this
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country for.
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Eight years, and yeah, give me whatever I want for
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the rest of my life.
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00:19:03.000 --> 00:19:06.039
He didn't say that. He was like, well, I did my.
422
00:19:06.119 --> 00:19:08.480
Job many How many years was he president?
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Eight?
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Eight? So he is that kind of where we get.
425
00:19:11.400 --> 00:19:13.880
But that was only quote unquote it was a term,
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but not a term anymore because they didn't start limiting it.
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00:19:16.559 --> 00:19:19.079
Until until FDR.
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00:19:19.400 --> 00:19:23.559
Fr Yeah really did because no one was no one
429
00:19:23.599 --> 00:19:28.759
even wanted to. Yeah, and then FDR was president for
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00:19:28.799 --> 00:19:30.400
three terms and afterwards they were like, that was you
431
00:19:30.440 --> 00:19:31.920
did a really great job, Fdr.
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But we really shouldn't let people be president longer than Washington.
433
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He was a great president, he was.
434
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Yeah, that's why they let it slide a little bit.
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But in general, they made so many rules that like,
436
00:19:42.599 --> 00:19:47.599
no commander or general can be awarded more medals than Washington.
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00:19:47.720 --> 00:19:51.680
So even if someone gets that, they've posthumously added like
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medals and awards to Washington.
439
00:19:55.440 --> 00:19:58.160
So fantastically silly and like the last thing he would
440
00:19:58.160 --> 00:20:00.960
possibly want, as like a person who is a humble man. Yeah,
441
00:20:01.119 --> 00:20:03.359
be like, oh I'm debt. Oh you're giving me awards.
442
00:20:03.039 --> 00:20:05.119
Now just because pinning a bunch of medals on my.
443
00:20:05.079 --> 00:20:06.799
Courl trying to d if I me got it, go
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for it.
445
00:20:07.359 --> 00:20:08.480
Yeah, that was definitely the plan.
446
00:20:08.599 --> 00:20:10.680
Yeah, that's exactly what I wanted.
447
00:20:12.079 --> 00:20:14.880
But this is why today we have politicians who refuse
448
00:20:14.960 --> 00:20:18.319
to admit they have presidential ambitions until they're actually running,
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like you see that every year.
450
00:20:19.240 --> 00:20:22.119
It's like McCain a few years ago is.
451
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Very coy about like, oh, I don't think I want
452
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to run until the last minute, where he's like, you
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00:20:27.000 --> 00:20:29.039
know what, I was thinking about not running, and then
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00:20:29.079 --> 00:20:30.720
in a dream, God came to me and was like,
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look at the country.
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You have to run.
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Everybody does that kind of thing. Now, Washington set a
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00:20:36.359 --> 00:20:41.079
president precedent. Oh I love that, President President.
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00:20:41.359 --> 00:20:43.960
Yeah, I love that, and everyone since has followed it.
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That makes him the one, and that alone should be
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00:20:46.480 --> 00:20:49.680
enough to justify him being on the bill. But there's
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00:20:49.759 --> 00:20:52.000
something that I need to bring up regarding resiliency, because
463
00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:54.079
we mentioned earlier that a House subcommittee got together to
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try to replace the dollar bill with coins.
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It's the smart move, it's the move that we.
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Should adopt because it would save us all that money
467
00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:02.799
because coins would survive much longer than dollar bills, which
468
00:21:02.920 --> 00:21:05.240
die so easily. But Americans refuse to make the switch,
469
00:21:05.319 --> 00:21:08.039
so the dollar persists, which means by all metrics of logic,
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we should be killing the dollar bill, but refuses to die,
471
00:21:11.079 --> 00:21:16.240
just like George fucking Washington. I'm gonna say something that
472
00:21:16.319 --> 00:21:18.519
is easy to say with the benefit of history. We're
473
00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:21.839
gonna say it anyway. George Washington should be dead, which
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is fine to say now when he's been dead for
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a very long time. But I'm saying he should have
476
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been even deader, much much sooner, because he was a
477
00:21:28.880 --> 00:21:30.880
maniac who enjoyed being shot at.
478
00:21:31.319 --> 00:21:33.240
Well, okay, thanks of taking a little.
479
00:21:33.000 --> 00:21:34.839
Bit of a turn. Yeah yeah, And that's also a
480
00:21:34.880 --> 00:21:35.200
true thing.
481
00:21:35.200 --> 00:21:37.039
I'm not first he was humble. Now he's a bit
482
00:21:37.079 --> 00:21:38.079
of a sadist. Yeah.
483
00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:41.119
Yeah, he's a pretty kooky guy, our first president. And
484
00:21:41.160 --> 00:21:43.519
it's not like this is another true thing. It's not
485
00:21:43.680 --> 00:21:45.640
conjecture that he liked being shot at, and it's not
486
00:21:45.680 --> 00:21:47.960
like a tough guy who's like, come at me kind
487
00:21:48.000 --> 00:21:49.920
of thing. This is a quote from a letter to
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his brother about his time on the battlefield during the
489
00:21:52.240 --> 00:21:54.799
War for Independence. He said, I heard the bullets whistle,
490
00:21:54.839 --> 00:21:57.359
and believe me, there is something charming to the sound
491
00:21:57.359 --> 00:22:01.599
of bullets. Okay, insane thing to say, And there's.
492
00:22:01.480 --> 00:22:03.640
Something charming to the sound of bullets.
493
00:22:03.839 --> 00:22:06.799
Yeah, wow, I disagree.
494
00:22:06.920 --> 00:22:08.039
I strongly disagree.
495
00:22:08.119 --> 00:22:10.160
And this, according to rumor, prompted King George the Third
496
00:22:10.200 --> 00:22:12.880
to remark that Washington's attitude would change if he'd hurt
497
00:22:12.880 --> 00:22:13.759
a few more bullets.
498
00:22:13.960 --> 00:22:15.279
And as we all know, one of those.
499
00:22:15.240 --> 00:22:16.920
George's is on the dollar bill and the other one
500
00:22:16.960 --> 00:22:20.559
is on toilet paper city silly brides, money or pamplets.
501
00:22:20.559 --> 00:22:22.440
I have no idea. I don't know what King George
502
00:22:22.480 --> 00:22:23.400
the Third's face is on.
503
00:22:23.880 --> 00:22:26.559
It was not just that Washington liked getting shot at,
504
00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:30.079
like he would return from battle completely unharmed, with bullet
505
00:22:30.079 --> 00:22:34.119
holes in his jacket and his horse shot out from
506
00:22:34.160 --> 00:22:37.440
under him. Oh my god, he lost two horses in
507
00:22:37.599 --> 00:22:39.839
the same battle. I want to be there when he
508
00:22:39.920 --> 00:22:41.160
goes back to home base.
509
00:22:41.279 --> 00:22:43.599
Is like, you guys are gonna You're gonna get this.
510
00:22:43.720 --> 00:22:45.039
I need a third horse. It's crazy.
511
00:22:45.039 --> 00:22:46.640
I know, it's so fun. I'm so sorry, but I
512
00:22:46.680 --> 00:22:49.680
need I need one more horse. First Sworddad, I'm alive.
513
00:22:49.759 --> 00:22:52.359
Yeah, can't promise this one won't get shot. And like George,
514
00:22:52.359 --> 00:22:53.960
I don't think you're good at this. And we really
515
00:22:54.000 --> 00:22:57.680
need horses for the people who don't keep losing them.
516
00:22:58.000 --> 00:23:01.359
Oh my god, that's incredible. Yeah, did anybody check? Wait,
517
00:23:01.880 --> 00:23:07.319
remember that movie not Unbroken? What's that movie with? Uh?
518
00:23:07.400 --> 00:23:10.440
Unbreakable unbreakable the George Washingtons.
519
00:23:10.559 --> 00:23:11.920
Yeah, yeah, that's what this was about.
520
00:23:12.039 --> 00:23:16.000
Yeah yeah, But he'd gotten shot at so many times
521
00:23:16.000 --> 00:23:19.400
that he, like in letters, had said that he didn't
522
00:23:19.440 --> 00:23:22.119
think he could be killed. Oh, like he really and
523
00:23:22.119 --> 00:23:24.000
and the thing that is scary to me is that.
524
00:23:25.799 --> 00:23:27.720
I can't.
525
00:23:27.759 --> 00:23:30.079
I can't disprove him like he eventually died. But he
526
00:23:30.160 --> 00:23:33.799
was like, I think I'm so full of like goodness
527
00:23:33.799 --> 00:23:36.519
and and fate and Providence need me so much that
528
00:23:36.599 --> 00:23:37.720
I can't die in battle.
529
00:23:38.400 --> 00:23:39.559
No one can prove him wrong.
530
00:23:39.720 --> 00:23:41.960
Wow. What a complex guy, you know. On one hand,
531
00:23:41.960 --> 00:23:44.640
he saying, I am I'm burdened with the task of
532
00:23:44.720 --> 00:23:47.839
running this country and rising to to the my calling.
533
00:23:48.319 --> 00:23:50.480
And also, by the way, like you can't kill me.
534
00:23:50.680 --> 00:23:55.519
Yeah, I'm just a humble farmer turned soldier turned.
535
00:23:55.359 --> 00:23:58.240
God, So please follow me into battle.
536
00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:02.599
Speaking about one of the things that people forget about Washington,
537
00:24:02.680 --> 00:24:05.599
or that they didn't know, depending on the thoroughness of
538
00:24:05.880 --> 00:24:07.119
your public school system.
539
00:24:07.440 --> 00:24:09.400
He lost more battles than he won.
540
00:24:10.640 --> 00:24:13.119
And also there were better commanders alive in the country,
541
00:24:13.160 --> 00:24:15.119
but he was chosen because the people loved him. And
542
00:24:15.119 --> 00:24:18.640
I don't want to beat a dead horse. But it's
543
00:24:18.680 --> 00:24:20.559
in the same way the current Americans prefer having dollar
544
00:24:20.599 --> 00:24:23.759
bills than dollar coins, even though coins make way more sense,
545
00:24:23.799 --> 00:24:25.599
Like there were better commanders, but they were like.
546
00:24:25.839 --> 00:24:29.039
No, we prefer George. We like we like this guy.
547
00:24:29.079 --> 00:24:31.880
We just like him, and yeah, we're pretty sure he's invincible,
548
00:24:31.920 --> 00:24:35.400
so stick with him. Yeah, but he shouldn't have been successful.
549
00:24:35.440 --> 00:24:37.960
He was rash and short tempered on the battlefield and
550
00:24:38.039 --> 00:24:41.279
took took battles very personally.
551
00:24:41.240 --> 00:24:42.799
And took horses to their grave.
552
00:24:42.920 --> 00:24:44.799
Yeah, yeah, he just killed. We lost so many good
553
00:24:44.839 --> 00:24:46.319
horses to Washington because he.
554
00:24:46.559 --> 00:24:49.359
Saw every battles like a dick measuring contest, like like
555
00:24:50.079 --> 00:24:53.519
an opposing force was there, and it was like, oh,
556
00:24:53.559 --> 00:24:55.039
they think they're they think they're better than me. We'll
557
00:24:55.079 --> 00:24:59.440
let me show them what I've got and throw wave
558
00:24:59.480 --> 00:25:01.279
after wave of my soldiers to prove.
559
00:25:01.319 --> 00:25:03.079
Oh wow, how good I am this. Yeah, that's not
560
00:25:03.160 --> 00:25:06.960
the best plan, right, strategically, Right, we had to switch that.
561
00:25:06.920 --> 00:25:09.039
Like, we lost a number of battles because early on
562
00:25:09.079 --> 00:25:11.400
he just kept stubbornly.
563
00:25:10.960 --> 00:25:14.000
Throwing men as somebody who is a demigod that can't die.
564
00:25:14.200 --> 00:25:16.319
Is like, look, guys, just run out there, don't get
565
00:25:16.319 --> 00:25:18.599
shot by any of their bullets, right, just take a
566
00:25:18.640 --> 00:25:20.319
couple of horses down and then just keep going.
567
00:25:20.440 --> 00:25:21.079
Don't worry.
568
00:25:21.160 --> 00:25:22.119
Why are they dying?
569
00:25:22.359 --> 00:25:25.640
Yeah, guys, bullets don't work on us. Just go It's fine.
570
00:25:25.640 --> 00:25:28.039
I don't forget it wasn't They didn't start really turning
571
00:25:28.079 --> 00:25:30.079
the battle around until he embraced this style of like
572
00:25:30.240 --> 00:25:31.839
strategic retreat.
573
00:25:31.480 --> 00:25:34.359
Which ended up saving the day in the end. Yeah.
574
00:25:34.400 --> 00:25:36.079
He sent his men into battle even when the odds
575
00:25:36.079 --> 00:25:38.000
were sacked against them, and he refused a retreat her
576
00:25:38.000 --> 00:25:39.960
back down, even at the cost of human lives, all
577
00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:41.759
because he wanted his enemy to know that they weren't
578
00:25:41.960 --> 00:25:45.759
as brave as he was, or that there there Dick's
579
00:25:45.759 --> 00:25:49.680
weren't as big and crazy crazy. Yeah, that was Washington's stance,
580
00:25:50.759 --> 00:25:54.160
which are the perfect parallels between him and the Dollar
581
00:25:54.200 --> 00:25:57.039
Billy becoming clear. Yet he was wrong and rational and impractical,
582
00:25:57.079 --> 00:25:59.559
but it still somehow worked for him. And we're still
583
00:25:59.640 --> 00:26:02.000
keeping the our bill even though it's patently impractical and
584
00:26:02.039 --> 00:26:02.599
bad for us.
585
00:26:02.920 --> 00:26:06.880
That's wow. Yeah, I'm seeing this parallel you've drawn. Yeah, good, Hey,
586
00:26:06.960 --> 00:26:08.920
you're taking you're taking us on a journey, sir.
587
00:26:09.039 --> 00:26:11.240
The podcast does not work if you don't see the parallel.
588
00:26:12.559 --> 00:26:15.359
But now that we're both in total agreement that I'm
589
00:26:15.359 --> 00:26:18.400
one hundred percent right about this, the question becomes how
590
00:26:18.480 --> 00:26:21.160
because we we've laid out that Washington shouldn't have won
591
00:26:21.200 --> 00:26:22.759
the revolution, but history tells us that he did.
592
00:26:23.279 --> 00:26:23.400
So.
593
00:26:23.839 --> 00:26:26.119
How great question me.
594
00:26:26.359 --> 00:26:26.799
Good job.
595
00:26:26.839 --> 00:26:30.400
That's a fascinating question, Dad. This is Dan talks to
596
00:26:30.480 --> 00:26:32.160
people about his favorite subject, President.
597
00:26:32.240 --> 00:26:33.279
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
598
00:26:33.680 --> 00:26:35.599
In the midpoint of every episode of the Guest, We'll
599
00:26:35.640 --> 00:26:37.599
just like leave and I'll continue yammering.
600
00:26:37.720 --> 00:26:39.160
Yeah, nothing like the President.
601
00:26:39.240 --> 00:26:42.720
Yeah, it's so fascinating. I just love coins in general.
602
00:26:44.519 --> 00:26:46.039
Tell me more things, Dad, I will.
603
00:26:46.519 --> 00:26:48.839
Washington firmly believed that providence or fate was on his
604
00:26:48.880 --> 00:26:50.480
side in everything he did, and you can read in
605
00:26:50.480 --> 00:26:52.519
his journal and the Rider letters that survived that he
606
00:26:52.599 --> 00:26:55.920
only very briefly doubted America's chances, and even then, when
607
00:26:55.920 --> 00:26:58.000
he did, it was less about America and more about
608
00:26:58.359 --> 00:27:01.960
the weakness and lack of discipline among the men around
609
00:27:02.039 --> 00:27:04.799
him that he should have been teaching disciplined.
610
00:27:04.319 --> 00:27:08.079
The weakness and lack of demigod status around the fallible
611
00:27:08.160 --> 00:27:10.240
mortals muddying up his plat right.
612
00:27:10.279 --> 00:27:14.240
The fact that these cowards kept dying when shot by bullets. Ridiculous. Yeah,
613
00:27:14.279 --> 00:27:16.440
but in his mind, he and his cause were always right.
614
00:27:16.480 --> 00:27:19.319
Even in the face of overwhelming odds. He was like, oh, huh, weird,
615
00:27:19.880 --> 00:27:21.599
I'm supposed to win this. It's like no one told
616
00:27:21.640 --> 00:27:25.400
them that I'm George fucking Washington. And that's how first
617
00:27:25.400 --> 00:27:27.440
time commander won a war against the most powerful army
618
00:27:27.440 --> 00:27:27.880
and navy in.
619
00:27:27.880 --> 00:27:30.039
The world, which is sheer, blind.
620
00:27:29.759 --> 00:27:31.440
Madness and all those dead bodies.
621
00:27:31.519 --> 00:27:33.799
Yeah yeah, wave after wave of people who believed in him.
622
00:27:33.880 --> 00:27:36.640
Oh god, believe Yeah, this is terrifying.
623
00:27:36.680 --> 00:27:38.480
I know, it's crazy, right, I'm really good to believe
624
00:27:38.480 --> 00:27:39.079
in things or not.
625
00:27:39.680 --> 00:27:42.759
Uh, if you specifically, if you're Washington, yes, if you're
626
00:27:42.759 --> 00:27:44.759
anyone else, no, no, it doesn't work out for you.
627
00:27:44.880 --> 00:27:45.119
Yeah.
628
00:27:45.160 --> 00:27:47.200
And most of us aren't Washington. But they did a
629
00:27:47.240 --> 00:27:50.920
poll recently and in fact none of us are anyhow.
630
00:27:51.079 --> 00:27:52.839
I thought maybe a little bit me, but no.
631
00:27:53.440 --> 00:27:55.599
Was that like in the census last year? Are you
632
00:27:55.599 --> 00:28:02.799
George Washington? And a vast majority said no, Yeah, yeah, yes, yeah, coincidence.
633
00:28:02.480 --> 00:28:04.240
They were wrong. Yeah, they were not the real one.
634
00:28:04.279 --> 00:28:05.599
They're actually just named that. Yeah.
635
00:28:05.880 --> 00:28:07.519
Back to Washington, he said he was going to win
636
00:28:07.640 --> 00:28:08.000
and he did.
637
00:28:08.079 --> 00:28:09.599
He said he couldn't be killed, and he said it
638
00:28:09.640 --> 00:28:12.799
with such casual authority uncertainty that I don't know, I'm
639
00:28:12.839 --> 00:28:14.640
not going to tell him wrong, and no one else did,
640
00:28:14.920 --> 00:28:16.039
even death waited on him.
641
00:28:16.359 --> 00:28:19.640
He died December of seventeen ninety nine.
642
00:28:20.200 --> 00:28:21.839
He fell ill, and a team of doctors tried for
643
00:28:21.880 --> 00:28:24.799
hours to restore his health, and then Washington, the most
644
00:28:24.839 --> 00:28:27.359
important person in the world at the time, sent the
645
00:28:27.359 --> 00:28:31.039
doctors away. On his deathbed, Washington told his aid Tobias Lear,
646
00:28:31.599 --> 00:28:34.640
I am just going, and then he died while taking
647
00:28:34.680 --> 00:28:35.440
his own pulse.
648
00:28:36.039 --> 00:28:39.839
Oh my god, yeah, wow, I want to go with
649
00:28:39.920 --> 00:28:44.480
that conviction. Yeah, hey, hey guys, you know what I'm done. Yeah, oh,
650
00:28:44.519 --> 00:28:47.240
I comically tilted my head to the side. Where's at home?
651
00:28:48.119 --> 00:28:48.559
At home?
652
00:28:48.640 --> 00:28:50.960
Yeah yeah, and like taking his own pulse, I guess
653
00:28:50.960 --> 00:28:53.640
because there weren't like machines that were doing the beep
654
00:28:53.680 --> 00:28:55.640
thing back then, so he was just like, I want
655
00:28:55.640 --> 00:28:56.039
to die.
656
00:28:56.079 --> 00:28:58.839
I want to make sure still still alive. Oh here
657
00:28:58.880 --> 00:28:59.599
it comes there.
658
00:28:59.599 --> 00:28:59.759
It is.
659
00:29:02.240 --> 00:29:04.920
So my final takeaways from Washington's life and specifically how
660
00:29:04.920 --> 00:29:08.119
they relate to the dollar bill. They're both the first
661
00:29:08.680 --> 00:29:12.839
thing and I put an asterisk on that on the
662
00:29:12.880 --> 00:29:14.759
word first actually because they're the first thing that we
663
00:29:14.839 --> 00:29:18.720
know of. But both of them coincidentally had predecessors, Like
664
00:29:19.079 --> 00:29:22.359
he wasn't he's the first technical president of the United States.
665
00:29:22.559 --> 00:29:25.480
But when the Continental Congress met and they're officially like,
666
00:29:26.359 --> 00:29:28.640
we're not part of Great Britain anymore. There was a
667
00:29:28.680 --> 00:29:31.440
president of that, John Hanson, I think, but no one
668
00:29:31.480 --> 00:29:34.039
talks about him. So there's technically a president of what
669
00:29:34.079 --> 00:29:36.640
would be America, and we're like, now we don't care
670
00:29:36.680 --> 00:29:37.680
George Washington.
671
00:29:37.440 --> 00:29:39.799
Just in the same way that tall guy, that tall, humble,
672
00:29:39.920 --> 00:29:42.480
demigod guy. I can't see that glow about him. Let's
673
00:29:43.000 --> 00:29:43.960
will you be president?
674
00:29:44.279 --> 00:29:46.960
Yeah, even in the first election, John Hanson was like,
675
00:29:47.240 --> 00:29:49.160
I don't know, I'm I kind of nailed it.
676
00:29:49.240 --> 00:29:52.079
I have a little bit of experience being president. No,
677
00:29:52.200 --> 00:29:53.680
we still don't want me, okay, got it.
678
00:29:53.839 --> 00:29:55.440
In the same way that the dollar bill was, like
679
00:29:55.680 --> 00:29:58.559
the first one was Sam and Chase, We're still like, no,
680
00:29:58.759 --> 00:30:00.240
that doesn't count the first anything.
681
00:30:00.240 --> 00:30:02.160
No one's gonna remember your name except Daniel.
682
00:30:02.400 --> 00:30:04.759
Wow, not much as except for Daniel and Brant, and
683
00:30:04.799 --> 00:30:07.359
not much has changed about presidencies. Huh No, you know,
684
00:30:07.799 --> 00:30:10.160
or the way that people choose their leader to follow.
685
00:30:10.279 --> 00:30:12.319
Yeah. Wow, we'd never learn.
686
00:30:12.319 --> 00:30:14.440
We never learned. Well, we can learn, but that's what
687
00:30:14.480 --> 00:30:15.839
this podcast is about learning.
688
00:30:15.960 --> 00:30:18.599
Yeah, everyone, I hope you wrote down everything I said.
689
00:30:20.319 --> 00:30:21.599
Other similarities between the two.
690
00:30:21.799 --> 00:30:23.480
What a curious respond.
691
00:30:24.839 --> 00:30:25.200
Everybody.
692
00:30:25.240 --> 00:30:26.799
I hope you my words your back?
693
00:30:26.880 --> 00:30:28.680
Yeah, yeah, wrote out.
694
00:30:29.440 --> 00:30:32.240
Memorize this entire conversation like a monologue and deliver it
695
00:30:32.240 --> 00:30:33.680
to strangers so they all know.
696
00:30:34.359 --> 00:30:36.920
Hannah, Yes, do you believe me? Do you think George
697
00:30:36.920 --> 00:30:37.920
should still be on the bill?
698
00:30:38.400 --> 00:30:38.519
Uh?
699
00:30:39.319 --> 00:30:39.480
Go?
700
00:30:41.319 --> 00:30:43.000
Do I believe you do? I think George should still
701
00:30:43.000 --> 00:30:45.839
be on the bill. I you know, I've learned a
702
00:30:45.839 --> 00:30:48.400
lot about George Washington throughout the course of this conversation,
703
00:30:48.759 --> 00:30:53.880
but I still don't miss ufdr Yeah the bill. I
704
00:30:53.920 --> 00:30:56.519
want him on a bill. Maybe take out Andrew Jackson.
705
00:30:56.880 --> 00:30:57.400
I'd be down.
706
00:30:57.519 --> 00:31:01.759
You've seen Jackson's face change. We got bigger. Yeah, it
707
00:31:01.799 --> 00:31:03.359
got bigger. And they use like that's not like.
708
00:31:03.359 --> 00:31:05.759
A person change. No, no, right, I've never seen a
709
00:31:05.759 --> 00:31:07.319
person change any of their currency.
710
00:31:07.359 --> 00:31:09.839
Well, it's gonna happen in your lifetime, buddy, Wow, what
711
00:31:09.880 --> 00:31:12.839
it's going to be, Hamilton, Buddy oh.
712
00:31:12.359 --> 00:31:16.759
Man, bummer Oh well all right, all right, well there's that. Ye,
713
00:31:17.519 --> 00:31:19.680
so yes, I think that Washington is very I mean,
714
00:31:19.720 --> 00:31:20.839
I'm into it. I'm into it.
715
00:31:21.079 --> 00:31:21.559
Okay, good.
716
00:31:21.640 --> 00:31:24.960
Now I'm going to edit out everything so there's no
717
00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:26.519
disagreement and I say, Hannah, do you will leave me?
718
00:31:26.559 --> 00:31:28.039
And you just say I'm into it, and that's gonna
719
00:31:28.039 --> 00:31:29.960
be the cut of the episode.
720
00:31:30.920 --> 00:31:32.880
Do you have any final thoughts we've reached.
721
00:31:32.759 --> 00:31:37.119
The My final thoughts include, take Jackson off the twenty
722
00:31:37.480 --> 00:31:41.559
George Washington way cooler and more fascinating than I ever know.
723
00:31:42.279 --> 00:31:45.759
And also I'm pro dollar coins.
724
00:31:45.920 --> 00:31:50.480
Yeah, I feel I it's always my goal to educate
725
00:31:50.559 --> 00:31:53.039
and inspire, inspire, and.
726
00:31:53.359 --> 00:31:54.880
I've written down everything you've said.
727
00:31:54.960 --> 00:31:57.559
Yeah, good, And I wanted to leave here with you,
728
00:31:57.640 --> 00:32:00.000
like I understand why Washington's on the bill and I support,
729
00:32:00.119 --> 00:32:02.599
but I'm really happy that you've adopted these new causes
730
00:32:02.680 --> 00:32:04.759
like FDR needs to be on money, Andrew Jackson should
731
00:32:04.799 --> 00:32:06.279
be taken off, and we should go to the dollar coins.
732
00:32:06.319 --> 00:32:06.799
Like I like that.
733
00:32:07.079 --> 00:32:09.200
I think George Washington would like that because you know,
734
00:32:09.359 --> 00:32:11.519
of his humble nature, he'd want me to leave the
735
00:32:11.559 --> 00:32:14.039
podcast with goals that were truly true to me.
736
00:32:14.319 --> 00:32:17.400
Yeah, yeah, that's a really good thanks Man. End of
737
00:32:17.440 --> 00:32:39.039
podcast line. Yeah,
