Quick Before I Forget: Eyes Open, Arms Up

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I can remember the way the carpet felt because it
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was the kind of carpet that was in a spot
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that didn't get traversed or sat on that often because
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it was super, super close to the TV. Like we're
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talking inches, about as close as you could be to
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one of those TVs that used to be hooked up
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to a VCR playing a VHS tape of The Little Mermaid.
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What else would it have been playing but The Little Mermaid?
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It was playing The Little Mermaid featuring my favorite Disney princess, Ariel.
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And I could not see it. I was inches away.
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I was as close as you could be. And I
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could not see it. I couldn't see Ariel. I couldn't
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see Sebastian, the whole crew. They were blurry because I
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was wearing a patch on my right eye. which is
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my strong eye, my healthy eye, the eye that has
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gotten me through. I was wearing a patch on my
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right eye, so I couldn't see the TV because my
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left eye was at that point 2,400, which is considered
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legally blind. So yes, I was at the age of four,
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legally blind in my left eye. The doctors scared the
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crap out of my parents. They basically told them that
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I probably wouldn't live what would be considered a normal
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adult life. I probably maybe wouldn't drive. And they were heartbroken.
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And they were scared. But they showed up anyway. My
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mom showed up anyway in the fear. She patched me
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So patch over my right eye so that the muscles
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and everything involved with using your left eye would work
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harder and build up the elasticity to improve and heal
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from nothing that we understood at the time. It was
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nobody's fault. It's not like something went wrong. It's just
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I could not see out of my left eye. I
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have a stigmatism and a lazy eye in my left eye.
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And when I'm really tired or really sick, You can
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always tell. And I'm super self-conscious about it in photos.
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But the whole point is my mom showed up for
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me in the fear by patching my good eye in
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a way that made me not be able to see.
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So at the age of four, I couldn't see, but
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I could hear. And the music, guys, the music got
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me through. So one of the coolest things that I
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remember about my love Ariel is I actually won a
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dance contest the only time I've ever won a dance
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contest by the way I won a dance contest and
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the prize was a copy a VHS copy you remember
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the one with like the puffy plastic packaging the VHS
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of the Little Mermaid which was my favorite favorite movie
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so I That was the prize. And in order to
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prep for it, my mom actually took me to Anita's
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dance studio. Um, I think in like new Berlin or something,
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the South side of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, she takes me to
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this dance studio and I was going there anyway for
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dance classes, but I think this was extra. I think,
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I think this was like an extra, um, like paid
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lesson or whatever, which we didn't, we didn't do stuff
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like that. So it was special. It was special. And
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I got my dance routine all set. For Under the
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Sea from the Little Mermaid soundtrack. And I dressed up
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like Ariel. And I performed Under the Sea at Bucky's
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Super Video.
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And I won.
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And I danced like no one was watching.
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And here's the thing.
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I am a terrible dancer. I try my best. But
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I'm awful at it. But four-year-old me didn't care. Four-year-old
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me was living her best life. And she was winning
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the Little Mermaid video that she would later not be
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able to see. But she could hear it. And before
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my mom even knew that she was doing it, she
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showed me, she modeled for me how to show up
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in fear. So I'm back for round two, showing up
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in fear to talk to you again, because round one
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was so fun. And thank you so much because so
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many of you reached out and said, I don't want
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to cry. So many of you reached out and said
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what the episode meant to you and how you interpreted
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it and how you were a little upset with me.
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Cause I didn't answer all the questions. And here's the thing.
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I really wanted to, like I had good intentions and
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I was going to answer all 22 questions. And then
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I realized that that would not do justice to the questions.
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Cause I don't know. I did pin the post. There's
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a post pinned on Instagram with my photo. And then
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like the quick, before I forget, like, let's ask all the,
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ask me anything.
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Okay.
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And that's still there and it's still open until further notice.
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I'm leaving the conversation open. They're open. Please go get it.
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Please go give me your questions because this is not
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something that's just going to be this one time thing. No, no, no.
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We are here for a minute. We are here for
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the whole yellow brick road, y'all. So send me your questions.
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Keep the conversation going. Stop right now and say one
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thing you're grateful for in the comments, please. And thank you.
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Just one small thing doesn't have to be fancy. I'm
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grateful for my little candle here. I don't know if
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you can see it. It says manifestation. And it's the cutest.
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I'm going to have to show that. I'm going to
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have to show that at some point. But thank you
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for reaching back. Thank you for taking the time out
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of your life to reach back and say hello to
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me in the comments and to listen and leave reviews
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on the apps. And the thing was, there was one
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thing that everybody was a little bit like, Ty. Okay,
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so Ty. We're going to answer all the questions. That's
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the point. We are going to answer all the questions.
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They are going to get answered. I don't make promises
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that I don't deliver on. So we are going to
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answer all the questions. It's just not going to happen
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right this minute. It's not going to happen today. It's
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going to happen in pieces because you guys have given
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me the roadmap for season two with these questions, and
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I hope they keep coming. So for today, we are
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answering three. And what was really cool as I was
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thinking and working through these questions, what was really cool
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was these three actually come together in a way that
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tells a whole story. And it's all about vision and
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how our eyes are open and our arms are up.
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So buckle up, friends. It's time to dive in. My
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first question today comes from my very new friend, Stacy,
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who I actually got to spend some time with kind
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of swapping life stories this week a little bit more.
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We met each other at my friend C.W. Hawley's Goals
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Night Out event, and she's just a very nice, incredibly
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abundant human and new friend. And Stacey's question was a
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hard one, is a hard one, but we're going to
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unpack it together. So the question is, let me find it.
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Stacey's question is, who are you when you strip away
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the roles, responsibilities, positions, and problems to solve? I needed
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a minute with that question because of course I'm a
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mama and a wife and I love those jobs more
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than anything. And I'm a fixer. I'm a connector. I'm
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a problem solver. I'm a writer. I'm a best-selling author.
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I am a friend. I am so many things. I'm
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the emo rollercoaster gal. I am... A lot of different
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things to a lot of different people. And that has
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been the way that I've lived my life. And it
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all took me back to four-year-old me. It took me
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back to the girl who danced like no one was watching.
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The girl who found joy in music. The music got
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her through. Like... strip everything away from, from all the,
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like all the stuff. And what you have was like
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little me leaving these like breadcrumbs of things that would
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mean more to me with time, not less. Music, movement, joy, curiosity, story, connection,
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big feelings, big, big feelings. Wonder. Guys, I saw this
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Instagram post and I need to try to find it,
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but I saw this Instagram post of this woman talking
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this week about how the people in your life who
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are the most whimsical, they find magic everywhere they go
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and they look for all the little things. They have
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mastered the art of noticing and they err a little
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bit on the side.
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Of cuckoo delusional, okay?
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I identify with this. The video though, the whole point
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of the video was that most people who are that
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whimsical and who do kind of live life a little
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bit on the air of like, sometimes you worry. They're
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that way because they choose to be, because it's a
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coping mechanism, because it's how they got through the darkness.
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That is why they are the way they are. They
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choose to see life as these little miracles happening throughout
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their day. They choose to to be the light because
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they were in the dark. They choose it. That is
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the whole point. They choose it just as you, just
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as you did when you were little. Like it, little
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me chose to do those things because she wasn't told
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to shrink yet. She wasn't told that she needed to
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use highest value and fewest words. And she wasn't being edited.
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She wasn't being molded into something else. She was just
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being her. And it was enough. So who am I
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without all the job titles? Who am I without the
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different roles and responsibilities? I'm me. I'm four year old me.
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I am just a girl. I am just a girl.
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This is a story that I've told already on the show,
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but I'm going to share it again in a solo,
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which is, it just takes me through the through line
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of this embracing four-year-old me. Because I want you to
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embrace four-year-old you. So I'm going to paint the picture
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for you. Picture me walking out of Magic Kingdom after
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having the most magical morning. We rode Tron. I splurged
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on the photo pass and that is its own whole
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fun experience at Disney that I wish I'd done the
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first time. It was so good.
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So good.
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And I was feeling so happy that like, it was
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just like coming out and I was crying just like
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now I was just giggly and happy. And my 10
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year old son grabbed my hand. And he looked at
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me and.
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He said, mom, I just love that you're so childish.
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And it hurt. It actually hurt.
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I thought to myself, wow, that's probably not great. And
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then I let myself feel it. Because that's actually the
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nicest thing he's ever said to me. I know people
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that may have seen, you know, you're a childish mom.
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I love that you're so childish. I know that people
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may have seen or may see that as a not
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so nice thing to say to a parent. And I
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think it was probably the nicest gift he's ever given me.
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Because it was like he gave four-year-old me a hug.
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And it ignited something special for me. I forgot what
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question I'm on. So I think where we're at is
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that Kelly, my dear friend who has helped me stay
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grounded and is my prayer warrior asked me, aside from
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my kids, what am I most proud of? And I
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think the best and honestly, most concise way to answer
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that would be that I am, I have become somebody
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that I trust. It's happened on my kind of journey
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of self-love, which is something that I know all of
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us may or may not struggle with. I mean, I
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certainly did. I struggled with like, what the heck is
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self-love even? Selfish is what I heard, but it's not
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at all. And I am on this journey of coming
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to love myself more. I trust myself. I am proud
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because I became somebody that four-year-old me would trust. The
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third question comes from a friend who's known me, I think,
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longer than the first two have. Our connection is rooted
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in the RISE conferences with Rachel Hollis, where her and
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I waited in line together, I think. But we definitely
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met at RISE Minneapolis in 2019. So she's seen more
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of the experience that is my life than most have.
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And her question is essentially what motivates me? What, what
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gives me fire? And thinking about that was intense and
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involved a lot of prayer and in like just inner
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soul work, quite honestly, because what gives me fire dates
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back to another hard day. I would go as far
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as to say that June 30th of 2024 is about
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as close to a birthday as the emo rollercoaster gal
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could get. My birthday is two weeks later on July 13th,
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but June 30th of 2024 is the day that God
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set the fire in my heart. He started the fire
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in my heart. That is the same day that I
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submitted my chapter for the what became the best-selling book,
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Triumphs of Transformation, Inspiring Stories of Resilience and Life Change.
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That is the book that I have a chapter in,
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the best-selling book that I have a chapter in called
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Becoming the Storm. The same day that I submitted that chapter,
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my oldest, dearest friend from college, who I met in
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high school, died in a fire with her daughter, her
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five-year-old daughter, her dad, her sister, and two of her
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other sister's kids. The same day that I submitted a
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chapter in what would become a best-selling book that I
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got to go celebrate in New York City and see
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displayed in Times Square, that same day, my friend died.
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And that is... the emo rollercoaster gal, because grief and
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joy can coexist and often do. But getting to know
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that and getting to experience it in a way that
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I practice on rollercoasters ever since and intensely and connectedly
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and collectively, healingly, Like, I don't even know where I'm
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going with this, guys. This journey has been intense. That
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was not the most intense thing to happen. It was
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one of the most intense things to happen, but there's
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been so much else that's happened. All with the fire
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that God started in my heart to be the light.
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I believe it. I am meant to be the light.
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because I became the light for myself when I became
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the storm, I am meant to be the light for
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me to ignite others, to heal, to heal, to see
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their own light because it's there. It's absolutely there already.
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That's the thing that I wish I could shake younger me,
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versions of me, 22 year old me.
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I want to just, Just want to shake her because.
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She thought she was fat. She thought she was fat
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and she drank too much. And I just, I just,
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I just wish she knew that the light was there
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all along. The power was there all along. I wish,
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I wish I, that's what I wanted. One of the
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many things that I wish I could tell 22 year
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old me, by the way. To answer my own question,
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which I ask so many of our guests on the
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episodes of season one of Quick Before You Forget. Go
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check those out if you haven't. And say hi. You know,
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while we're here, say hello and say something in the chat.
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Tell me how we're feeling. Tell me if there's been
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something that you thought, like, Ty took me to church
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with this one-liner. I would love to hear that. Please
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talk back to me. So the question is, was short
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and the answer is long, but the fire is God's
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work and God's timing and God's purpose on my heart.
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I actually had somebody who I kind of, you know,
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a lot of this is surprisingly not surprisingly at all.
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relating back to connections with people. And one of the connections,
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so we went through three questions and I'm going to
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tell this story and then I'll try to wrap myself
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up here. But I had a I had a bumpy
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and hard week this week. So much more about this
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last couple of weeks has gone wrong than that has
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gone right. And I was feeling lost. And God sent
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reminders of the exact messages that I needed and from
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the people that I should have known that they were
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coming from. But There was one situation, one conversation in particular,
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where somebody actually encouraged me feedback-wise on the show to
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tone down the God talk. Tone it down. You might
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be polarizing people. I don't think that people... I don't
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know if you should talk so much about Jesus. Nope.
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We're not doing that. That's not happening here. I am living...
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into the, I can't preach, I can't say, let's be
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excited instead of fearful and not recognize the author of
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the story. It's not happening. So the author of this
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story is God and the fire that lights inside is
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his work. To answer Christine's question in the longest winded
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way possible, God keeps me going. Because my friend actually
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said that her favorite thing that I said in the
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last episode, I'm going to say it again because I'm
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actually really proud of it, is I don't have a
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five-year plan. I don't have a 10-year plan. I have
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the Lord's plan and it is on my heart. And
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that is the fire. That is the motivation. Through him,
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with him, for him. Amen. Because that's where things come
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full circle. It took me also... to a place where
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I was thinking and reflecting on something that Trent Shelton
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said to me in a podcast interview when I was
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behind the scenes for, he said, God gave you the vision.
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He did not give them the vision. Stop expecting them
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to see what you see. And is that not a
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full circle moment on this whole thing where we go
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back to four-year-old me who could not see, Like she
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couldn't see. And then 37 year old me gets on
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a roller coaster and chooses not to see. And now
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you have 41 year old me with eyes wide open,
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eyes wide open, arms up, heart open. And it's never
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been my vision. It's been his vision. So I can't
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see anything.
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My eyes are open.
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But I can't see anything.
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It's blurry.
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I can see maybe that one brick. That one step.
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That one little part in front of me. But otherwise
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it's all him. It's the twists and the turns and
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the ups and the downs and the drops. It's all
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of it. And it's getting to share it with you.
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It's getting to share the light that burns. It's getting
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to share the stories and the miracles. It's getting to
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share it. Not so ironically, because nothing is coincidence and
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everything is miracles through the magic of glasses. I'll show you.
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I'm going to show you the glasses. So these are
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the glasses. Hold on. If you're listening instead of watching,
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this is my weekly reminder to go watch these episodes
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because they're more fun that way. Um, so I'm putting
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on my fancy meta glasses, which I can't even really put.
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I'm just going to show them to you.
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Okay.
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We're going to do this.
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This is what I look like.
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On the roller coaster.
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Okay.
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These glasses, which one is, I think they're trying to
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start recording. Um, they're meta Oakley glasses and this is
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what I record safely on, on the rides. So that
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I can actually see you again. Let's put my real
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glasses back on. All right. So those glasses are the
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gateway to being able to share this with you. And
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I am so grateful because I got to wear glasses
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when I was four for a good reason. And now
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actually fun extra story bonus is that I, you know,
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now that I don't drink alcohol and my liver is
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almost basically healed and normal and healthy, I'm Most of
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my other body parts are aligning as well, including my sight,
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which is in better shape now at 41 than it
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has ever been as an adult, which is crazy. So
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my 2400i that we started with is now seeing almost
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healthy normal. She's still a little lazy. She still wanders
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off sometimes, but she sees well. And she sees just
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that little bit in.
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Front of us.
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She doesn't see the whole path. She doesn't see the
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twists and the turns and the winds and the drops
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and all of the things. She can just see the
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little bit in front and share it because that's the
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reminder for all of us. Quick before we forget, we
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don't need to see the whole road or the whole track.
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We just need to show up anyway together. I will
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see you next time on the road. And I lied.
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Oh my gosh, I have to lie twice. Oh, that
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was good. That was a good ending, but I'm not,
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I can't end there. I had, I had made myself
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a promise that I would, oh my gosh, that I
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would choose the question for next time. Now it's in
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my cup. It's in, oh, well, maybe that one just,
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that one just picked the question for me. So thank you, self.
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So I, it's, it's in my Taylor Swift cup and
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I just, For those on the listening, I just picked
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the question for next week, and it is Coach Doc. Okay,
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I'll tell you the question, and you're going to have
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to come back to hear the answer. So Coach Doc
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wants to know, if past Ty, present Ty, and future
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Ty were all sitting in a room together, what would
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they say? So come back for that next week, friends.
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And until then, I will see you next time on
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Quick Before I Forget. Much love always. I can't believe
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how much I came off the rails there at the end. Sorry,
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if you're still here, I love you. Thank you. And
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I want to say a special thank you to my sponsor,
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00:27:02.190 --> 00:27:06.039
not sponsor right now, Zeke's Village Market. I am wearing
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00:27:06.160 --> 00:27:09.019
one of my favorite shirts from them. It's purple and pretty.
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00:27:09.099 --> 00:27:13.160
It's like a lilac-y lavender color featuring Sister Bay, which
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00:27:13.220 --> 00:27:15.970
is a cute town in Door County, Wisconsin. I'm going
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to try and probably fail to show you the pack
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because it's relevant. And you can see... I hope. I
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00:27:28.900 --> 00:27:31.579
hope you can see Zeke, the dog who is named,
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00:27:32.299 --> 00:27:35.329
who is the namesake of the store. He's on the
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00:27:35.369 --> 00:27:37.349
back of the shirt and then it makes it one
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00:27:37.369 --> 00:27:40.490
of my favorites. So the designs at Zeke's are really cool.
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00:27:40.730 --> 00:27:44.799
And Zeke's is paired and partnered up with Guilty Apparel
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00:27:45.500 --> 00:27:52.809
on a mission to create and sell souvenirs with soul. Okay, now,
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00:27:52.869 --> 00:27:54.890
but I'm going to be so for real and say
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goodbye for real. I love you.
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Bye.