1
00:00:02,879 --> 00:00:08,639
True personal growth ultimately will lead to
fulfillment, and it's my intention with these
2
00:00:08,639 --> 00:00:12,000
podcasts to connect more deeply with you.
3
00:00:12,424 --> 00:00:17,144
Thank you for joining me, Anne Corbin, and my
guests, and welcome to this episode.
4
00:00:30,079 --> 00:00:38,479
One of the things that I've become increasingly
aware of over time is that people rarely lose
5
00:00:38,479 --> 00:00:40,239
momentum overnight.
6
00:00:40,905 --> 00:00:47,784
We often imagine that progress comes to a
sudden halt because of a major setback or a
7
00:00:47,784 --> 00:00:49,384
significant disappointment.
8
00:00:50,024 --> 00:00:53,384
Sometimes that isn't what happens.
9
00:00:54,104 --> 00:01:00,399
More often, momentum fades quietly and slowly.
10
00:01:01,759 --> 00:01:07,840
It slips away through small patterns of
thinking that seem perfectly reasonable at the
11
00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:13,354
time, and in fact, they often feel responsible,
even intelligent.
12
00:01:13,754 --> 00:01:21,594
And we convince ourselves that we are simply
being careful or thorough, when in reality what
13
00:01:21,594 --> 00:01:23,994
we're doing is going round in circles.
14
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:32,840
And before long, we're expending a great deal
of mental energy and making very little
15
00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:33,640
progress.
16
00:01:34,519 --> 00:01:39,525
I think this is one of the reasons that I first
became interested in patterns.
17
00:01:40,244 --> 00:01:46,724
They shape far more of our lives than most
people realize, because once a pattern becomes
18
00:01:46,724 --> 00:01:52,420
established in our life, we definitely stop
noticing it.
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00:01:52,579 --> 00:02:00,019
In fact, we most of the time don't even notice
it as it begins and takes shape.
20
00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:05,864
We simply assume that's the way we do things,
that's the way we think, that's the way we make
21
00:02:05,864 --> 00:02:08,825
decisions or even that's the way life works.
22
00:02:09,145 --> 00:02:15,465
But these patterns are subconsciously
influencing almost everything we do.
23
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:21,530
For example, a very very common pattern is
overthinking.
24
00:02:21,689 --> 00:02:24,170
You probably know what I mean when I say that.
25
00:02:24,330 --> 00:02:33,105
It's revisiting the same decision repeatedly
over and over again, hoping that one more visit
26
00:02:33,105 --> 00:02:43,025
to the particular problem will suddenly somehow
give you certainty or clarity or produce a
27
00:02:43,025 --> 00:02:43,985
different result.
28
00:02:43,985 --> 00:02:50,729
You imagine every possible outcome, you weigh
up every alternative and you imagine every
29
00:02:50,729 --> 00:02:51,530
risk.
30
00:02:53,209 --> 00:03:00,889
You even think this is productive because your
mind is busy and yet if nothing changes in the
31
00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:06,814
outside world, all that activity is simply
taking place in your own head and probably
32
00:03:06,814 --> 00:03:10,014
wearing you out, but it's not achieving
anything.
33
00:03:10,334 --> 00:03:18,389
Have you ever reached the end of a week feeling
mentally exhausted only to realize that nothing
34
00:03:18,389 --> 00:03:20,310
has actually moved forward?
35
00:03:20,709 --> 00:03:23,590
If so, then you'll know exactly what I'm
talking about.
36
00:03:24,310 --> 00:03:26,950
Thinking, of course, has an important place.
37
00:03:27,030 --> 00:03:28,950
Reflection is valuable.
38
00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:34,895
Good decisions require and deserve careful
consideration.
39
00:03:35,055 --> 00:03:43,534
But there comes a point when thinking stops
serving action and starts replacing it.
40
00:03:43,935 --> 00:03:48,620
That is not the kind of pattern you want to
encourage.
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00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:55,420
Then another pattern that you're probably
familiar with because I see it regularly, it's
42
00:03:55,420 --> 00:03:56,300
comparison.
43
00:03:57,884 --> 00:04:04,844
It's remarkably easy to look at what other
people are doing and begin measuring our own
44
00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:08,525
progress or success against theirs.
45
00:04:08,685 --> 00:04:15,710
And we wonder whether they're moving faster
than we are, achieving more than we are,
46
00:04:16,029 --> 00:04:20,670
somehow getting life right while we're trying
to work it all out.
47
00:04:20,670 --> 00:04:23,790
What is it that they're doing that we're not
doing?
48
00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:32,055
The difficulty here is that all that comparison
steals your attention and it steals your
49
00:04:32,214 --> 00:04:35,975
enthusiasm and it makes you feel inadequate.
50
00:04:36,134 --> 00:04:38,535
That is assuming they're going faster than you
are.
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00:04:38,899 --> 00:04:42,819
But instead of asking, what's my next step?
52
00:04:42,899 --> 00:04:48,900
We begin asking, why am I not where they are?
53
00:04:49,220 --> 00:04:54,735
And it's almost impossible to build momentum
while your attention is focused on somebody
54
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else's progress rather than on your own.
55
00:04:59,694 --> 00:05:04,175
It's something that we see so frequently in
leadership.
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00:05:04,254 --> 00:05:12,959
Leaders can become so busy comparing themselves
with the results of other organizations, other
57
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managers or other businesses, they lose sight
of the people that they are actually there to
58
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:20,800
lead.
59
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:28,915
The comparison itself isn't the problem, it's
what happens when comparison becomes a
60
00:05:28,915 --> 00:05:32,834
substitute for taking purposeful action.
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00:05:32,834 --> 00:05:37,509
These are the kinds of conversations that I
explore more deeply through my mentoring and
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leadership programmes and the transformational
work that I do with individuals and
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00:05:42,470 --> 00:05:43,430
organisations.
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I'm particularly focused on helping high
achieving people create success that feels
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aligned internally as well as externally.
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00:05:53,444 --> 00:05:59,685
Because real growth is not just about
achievement, it's about how you experience life
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as you're building it.
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00:06:01,990 --> 00:06:06,949
Leadership training usually focuses on skills
relevant to the particular business.
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I like to focus on the person behind the
skills.
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I help leaders develop greater clarity,
confidence, resilience and self leadership so
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that they can make better decisions,
communicate more effectively and lead others
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with greater impact.
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And this is how I define inner leadership
skills that transform the lives of people who
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are often held back by issues such as
overthinking, self doubt, uncertainty and
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sometimes even burnout.
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Find me on LinkedIn or go to annecorbininfo.com
forward slash card for multiple ways to contact
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me.
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Here's another pattern that can be much harder
to recognize.
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It's the habit of constantly starting again.
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Have you noticed how attractive a fresh start
can feel?
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00:07:03,779 --> 00:07:10,285
A new notebook or a new strategy, a new
productivity system, a revised business plan.
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There is something psychologically satisfying
about beginning again because it gives us the
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feeling that we're making progress.
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But we're not.
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We're just abandoning a half built house.
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But sometimes beginning again is simply another
way of avoiding the harder work of continuing.
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I've seen people spend years refining ideas
that were already good enough to get started
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with.
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00:07:43,485 --> 00:07:50,490
And every few months, they make another
adjustment or another improvement or just a
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00:07:50,490 --> 00:07:54,330
small alteration, but they convince themselves
that they're getting closer.
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00:07:55,449 --> 00:08:01,129
In reality though, they are repeatedly
returning to the starting line.
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00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:09,144
Progress comes from continuing what you've
already started far more often than it comes
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from reinvention.
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Okay, sometimes you are justified in abandoning
a project if you genuinely have seen that it's
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00:08:20,639 --> 00:08:21,840
just not going to work.
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I am not saying always always always carry on,
but so very often.
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It's shiny penny syndrome and you must be
familiar with that drawing of a minor who's
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00:08:33,615 --> 00:08:39,615
busy tunneling through tunneling through and
then he turns around and gives up and you see
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from the cartoon that he was just about to
break through and hit the gold or whatever was
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behind the last barrier.
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I think this is an important lesson for leaders
and for everybody else.
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The strongest organizations do not constantly
reinvent themselves.
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They improve steadily.
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And they learn and they adapt.
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00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:13,750
Yes, of course, they are aware of what's going
on externally, but they also know that they
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need to stay the course long enough for good
ideas to produce results.
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00:09:19,829 --> 00:09:24,230
And the same principle applies in our own
lives.
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Here's another mental pattern that quietly
slows people down, and that is waiting until
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they feel different about something.
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People often tell themselves that they'll take
action once they feel more confident or once
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they're clearer about exactly what steps
they're going to take or what they want at the
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end of the exercise or perhaps they're just
waiting to feel more motivated.
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I know I'm still personally guilty of that.
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There are certain times of the day when I just
don't want to do certain things and I'll put
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00:10:00,884 --> 00:10:06,085
them off till tomorrow because I'm a morning
person and I generally have more energy in the
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00:10:06,085 --> 00:10:06,644
morning.
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00:10:07,044 --> 00:10:13,740
But if I were to go through life like that,
putting off everything till tomorrow morning,
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00:10:13,819 --> 00:10:20,059
an awful lot of stuff wouldn't get done because
there's always a tomorrow or for most of us,
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there is generally a tomorrow.
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00:10:22,995 --> 00:10:27,634
And another problem is that our emotional state
is changing constantly.
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If we wait until every feeling lines up
perfectly, well, we can spend a very great deal
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00:10:37,909 --> 00:10:40,230
of time just waiting.
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One of the things that experience teaches us is
that action often changes our emotions far more
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00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:52,715
effectively than thinking does.
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00:10:52,875 --> 00:10:58,555
Think back to a decision that you delayed for
weeks, maybe it was making that difficult phone
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00:10:58,555 --> 00:11:05,660
call or getting started with a new project or
having a conversation you've been putting off.
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00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:09,259
How did it feel once you'd actually done the
thing?
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00:11:09,340 --> 00:11:14,860
Didn't you get a sense of relief and
achievement and sometimes even triumph?
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00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:17,019
And you wondered what you were worrying about?
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00:11:17,660 --> 00:11:24,565
Very often, the relief arrives almost
immediately and you get a feeling of freedom
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like a dark fuzzy cloud has suddenly
disappeared.
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It's not because the problem has been
completely solved, it's simply because movement
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00:11:36,059 --> 00:11:38,940
has replaced stagnation.
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And there's no doubt that action has a
remarkable ability to quieten mental noise.
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00:11:50,834 --> 00:11:56,914
Oh yes, the mind can argue with itself
indefinitely.
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It can generate endless reasons to delay or
refine or reconsider or improve and so on so
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00:12:06,330 --> 00:12:06,889
forth.
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00:12:07,370 --> 00:12:15,610
Yet, once we take a meaningful step, many of
those arguments simply lose their power.
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00:12:15,850 --> 00:12:24,065
And this is why I truly believe that momentum
isn't really created by motivation.
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00:12:24,545 --> 00:12:34,459
It's created by participation or created by
continuing to engage with the work that's in
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00:12:34,459 --> 00:12:42,299
front of you, even if you're uncertain and even
when you don't yet have every answer.
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00:12:43,534 --> 00:12:52,334
Again, this from the leadership angle: every
single leader will develop patterns, every team
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00:12:52,334 --> 00:13:00,840
develops patterns, each organisation develops
patterns, and some of those patterns will help
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00:13:00,919 --> 00:13:07,320
you and your business or your team move
forward, but others will keep them stuck.
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00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:14,225
One of the most valuable skills that any leader
can develop is the ability to recognize those
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00:13:14,225 --> 00:13:22,384
patterns before they become permanent, a bit
like getting a boot stuck in concrete.
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00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:26,600
It's true with individuals personally.
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00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:31,800
So perhaps there's a useful question to leave
you with today.
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Is there a decision that you've been rehearsing
rather than making?
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00:13:37,794 --> 00:13:45,634
Is there an action you've delayed because your
mind keeps insisting that you need just a bit
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00:13:45,634 --> 00:13:47,634
more certainty before you move?
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00:13:48,355 --> 00:13:54,309
And if there is, perhaps the answer is not to
think about it for another week.
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00:13:55,909 --> 00:14:02,070
What about taking a breath, recognize you're in
a pattern, and it's time to interrupt it?
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00:14:02,950 --> 00:14:12,195
Take a step, take some action, and then take
another step because momentum that's continuing
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00:14:12,195 --> 00:14:17,875
forward movement, it really doesn't require
certainty.
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00:14:18,195 --> 00:14:22,039
It requires participation or action.
157
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:29,559
And once you begin participating again, you
will often discover that the momentum you
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00:14:29,559 --> 00:14:32,839
thought you'd lost was never really gone at
all.
159
00:14:34,065 --> 00:14:37,024
It just got stuck in a pattern.
160
00:14:38,384 --> 00:14:42,865
You can set yourself up to win at the game of
life.
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00:14:43,024 --> 00:14:45,585
Become familiar with the laws of the universe.
162
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:48,480
You have infinite potential.
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00:14:48,799 --> 00:14:50,720
You can influence reality.
164
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:57,839
Quantum growth and connection explores success
strategies, power principles, relationship
165
00:14:57,839 --> 00:14:58,399
rescue,
00:00:02,879 --> 00:00:08,639
True personal growth ultimately will lead to
fulfillment, and it's my intention with these
2
00:00:08,639 --> 00:00:12,000
podcasts to connect more deeply with you.
3
00:00:12,424 --> 00:00:17,144
Thank you for joining me, Anne Corbin, and my
guests, and welcome to this episode.
4
00:00:30,079 --> 00:00:38,479
One of the things that I've become increasingly
aware of over time is that people rarely lose
5
00:00:38,479 --> 00:00:40,239
momentum overnight.
6
00:00:40,905 --> 00:00:47,784
We often imagine that progress comes to a
sudden halt because of a major setback or a
7
00:00:47,784 --> 00:00:49,384
significant disappointment.
8
00:00:50,024 --> 00:00:53,384
Sometimes that isn't what happens.
9
00:00:54,104 --> 00:01:00,399
More often, momentum fades quietly and slowly.
10
00:01:01,759 --> 00:01:07,840
It slips away through small patterns of
thinking that seem perfectly reasonable at the
11
00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:13,354
time, and in fact, they often feel responsible,
even intelligent.
12
00:01:13,754 --> 00:01:21,594
And we convince ourselves that we are simply
being careful or thorough, when in reality what
13
00:01:21,594 --> 00:01:23,994
we're doing is going round in circles.
14
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:32,840
And before long, we're expending a great deal
of mental energy and making very little
15
00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:33,640
progress.
16
00:01:34,519 --> 00:01:39,525
I think this is one of the reasons that I first
became interested in patterns.
17
00:01:40,244 --> 00:01:46,724
They shape far more of our lives than most
people realize, because once a pattern becomes
18
00:01:46,724 --> 00:01:52,420
established in our life, we definitely stop
noticing it.
19
00:01:52,579 --> 00:02:00,019
In fact, we most of the time don't even notice
it as it begins and takes shape.
20
00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:05,864
We simply assume that's the way we do things,
that's the way we think, that's the way we make
21
00:02:05,864 --> 00:02:08,825
decisions or even that's the way life works.
22
00:02:09,145 --> 00:02:15,465
But these patterns are subconsciously
influencing almost everything we do.
23
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:21,530
For example, a very very common pattern is
overthinking.
24
00:02:21,689 --> 00:02:24,170
You probably know what I mean when I say that.
25
00:02:24,330 --> 00:02:33,105
It's revisiting the same decision repeatedly
over and over again, hoping that one more visit
26
00:02:33,105 --> 00:02:43,025
to the particular problem will suddenly somehow
give you certainty or clarity or produce a
27
00:02:43,025 --> 00:02:43,985
different result.
28
00:02:43,985 --> 00:02:50,729
You imagine every possible outcome, you weigh
up every alternative and you imagine every
29
00:02:50,729 --> 00:02:51,530
risk.
30
00:02:53,209 --> 00:03:00,889
You even think this is productive because your
mind is busy and yet if nothing changes in the
31
00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:06,814
outside world, all that activity is simply
taking place in your own head and probably
32
00:03:06,814 --> 00:03:10,014
wearing you out, but it's not achieving
anything.
33
00:03:10,334 --> 00:03:18,389
Have you ever reached the end of a week feeling
mentally exhausted only to realize that nothing
34
00:03:18,389 --> 00:03:20,310
has actually moved forward?
35
00:03:20,709 --> 00:03:23,590
If so, then you'll know exactly what I'm
talking about.
36
00:03:24,310 --> 00:03:26,950
Thinking, of course, has an important place.
37
00:03:27,030 --> 00:03:28,950
Reflection is valuable.
38
00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:34,895
Good decisions require and deserve careful
consideration.
39
00:03:35,055 --> 00:03:43,534
But there comes a point when thinking stops
serving action and starts replacing it.
40
00:03:43,935 --> 00:03:48,620
That is not the kind of pattern you want to
encourage.
41
00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:55,420
Then another pattern that you're probably
familiar with because I see it regularly, it's
42
00:03:55,420 --> 00:03:56,300
comparison.
43
00:03:57,884 --> 00:04:04,844
It's remarkably easy to look at what other
people are doing and begin measuring our own
44
00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:08,525
progress or success against theirs.
45
00:04:08,685 --> 00:04:15,710
And we wonder whether they're moving faster
than we are, achieving more than we are,
46
00:04:16,029 --> 00:04:20,670
somehow getting life right while we're trying
to work it all out.
47
00:04:20,670 --> 00:04:23,790
What is it that they're doing that we're not
doing?
48
00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:32,055
The difficulty here is that all that comparison
steals your attention and it steals your
49
00:04:32,214 --> 00:04:35,975
enthusiasm and it makes you feel inadequate.
50
00:04:36,134 --> 00:04:38,535
That is assuming they're going faster than you
are.
51
00:04:38,899 --> 00:04:42,819
But instead of asking, what's my next step?
52
00:04:42,899 --> 00:04:48,900
We begin asking, why am I not where they are?
53
00:04:49,220 --> 00:04:54,735
And it's almost impossible to build momentum
while your attention is focused on somebody
54
00:04:54,735 --> 00:04:58,894
else's progress rather than on your own.
55
00:04:59,694 --> 00:05:04,175
It's something that we see so frequently in
leadership.
56
00:05:04,254 --> 00:05:12,959
Leaders can become so busy comparing themselves
with the results of other organizations, other
57
00:05:12,959 --> 00:05:20,080
managers or other businesses, they lose sight
of the people that they are actually there to
58
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:20,800
lead.
59
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:28,915
The comparison itself isn't the problem, it's
what happens when comparison becomes a
60
00:05:28,915 --> 00:05:32,834
substitute for taking purposeful action.
61
00:05:32,834 --> 00:05:37,509
These are the kinds of conversations that I
explore more deeply through my mentoring and
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leadership programmes and the transformational
work that I do with individuals and
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organisations.
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I'm particularly focused on helping high
achieving people create success that feels
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aligned internally as well as externally.
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Because real growth is not just about
achievement, it's about how you experience life
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as you're building it.
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Leadership training usually focuses on skills
relevant to the particular business.
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I like to focus on the person behind the
skills.
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I help leaders develop greater clarity,
confidence, resilience and self leadership so
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that they can make better decisions,
communicate more effectively and lead others
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with greater impact.
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And this is how I define inner leadership
skills that transform the lives of people who
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are often held back by issues such as
overthinking, self doubt, uncertainty and
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sometimes even burnout.
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Find me on LinkedIn or go to annecorbininfo.com
forward slash card for multiple ways to contact
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me.
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Here's another pattern that can be much harder
to recognize.
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It's the habit of constantly starting again.
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Have you noticed how attractive a fresh start
can feel?
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A new notebook or a new strategy, a new
productivity system, a revised business plan.
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There is something psychologically satisfying
about beginning again because it gives us the
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feeling that we're making progress.
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But we're not.
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We're just abandoning a half built house.
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But sometimes beginning again is simply another
way of avoiding the harder work of continuing.
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I've seen people spend years refining ideas
that were already good enough to get started
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with.
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And every few months, they make another
adjustment or another improvement or just a
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small alteration, but they convince themselves
that they're getting closer.
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In reality though, they are repeatedly
returning to the starting line.
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Progress comes from continuing what you've
already started far more often than it comes
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from reinvention.
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Okay, sometimes you are justified in abandoning
a project if you genuinely have seen that it's
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just not going to work.
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I am not saying always always always carry on,
but so very often.
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It's shiny penny syndrome and you must be
familiar with that drawing of a minor who's
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busy tunneling through tunneling through and
then he turns around and gives up and you see
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from the cartoon that he was just about to
break through and hit the gold or whatever was
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behind the last barrier.
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I think this is an important lesson for leaders
and for everybody else.
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The strongest organizations do not constantly
reinvent themselves.
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They improve steadily.
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And they learn and they adapt.
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Yes, of course, they are aware of what's going
on externally, but they also know that they
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need to stay the course long enough for good
ideas to produce results.
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And the same principle applies in our own
lives.
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Here's another mental pattern that quietly
slows people down, and that is waiting until
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they feel different about something.
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People often tell themselves that they'll take
action once they feel more confident or once
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they're clearer about exactly what steps
they're going to take or what they want at the
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end of the exercise or perhaps they're just
waiting to feel more motivated.
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I know I'm still personally guilty of that.
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There are certain times of the day when I just
don't want to do certain things and I'll put
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them off till tomorrow because I'm a morning
person and I generally have more energy in the
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morning.
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But if I were to go through life like that,
putting off everything till tomorrow morning,
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an awful lot of stuff wouldn't get done because
there's always a tomorrow or for most of us,
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there is generally a tomorrow.
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And another problem is that our emotional state
is changing constantly.
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If we wait until every feeling lines up
perfectly, well, we can spend a very great deal
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of time just waiting.
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One of the things that experience teaches us is
that action often changes our emotions far more
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effectively than thinking does.
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Think back to a decision that you delayed for
weeks, maybe it was making that difficult phone
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call or getting started with a new project or
having a conversation you've been putting off.
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How did it feel once you'd actually done the
thing?
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Didn't you get a sense of relief and
achievement and sometimes even triumph?
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And you wondered what you were worrying about?
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Very often, the relief arrives almost
immediately and you get a feeling of freedom
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like a dark fuzzy cloud has suddenly
disappeared.
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It's not because the problem has been
completely solved, it's simply because movement
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has replaced stagnation.
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And there's no doubt that action has a
remarkable ability to quieten mental noise.
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Oh yes, the mind can argue with itself
indefinitely.
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It can generate endless reasons to delay or
refine or reconsider or improve and so on so
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forth.
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Yet, once we take a meaningful step, many of
those arguments simply lose their power.
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And this is why I truly believe that momentum
isn't really created by motivation.
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It's created by participation or created by
continuing to engage with the work that's in
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front of you, even if you're uncertain and even
when you don't yet have every answer.
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Again, this from the leadership angle: every
single leader will develop patterns, every team
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develops patterns, each organisation develops
patterns, and some of those patterns will help
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you and your business or your team move
forward, but others will keep them stuck.
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One of the most valuable skills that any leader
can develop is the ability to recognize those
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patterns before they become permanent, a bit
like getting a boot stuck in concrete.
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It's true with individuals personally.
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So perhaps there's a useful question to leave
you with today.
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Is there a decision that you've been rehearsing
rather than making?
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Is there an action you've delayed because your
mind keeps insisting that you need just a bit
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more certainty before you move?
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And if there is, perhaps the answer is not to
think about it for another week.
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What about taking a breath, recognize you're in
a pattern, and it's time to interrupt it?
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Take a step, take some action, and then take
another step because momentum that's continuing
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forward movement, it really doesn't require
certainty.
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It requires participation or action.
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And once you begin participating again, you
will often discover that the momentum you
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thought you'd lost was never really gone at
all.
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It just got stuck in a pattern.
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You can set yourself up to win at the game of
life.
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Become familiar with the laws of the universe.
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You have infinite potential.
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You can influence reality.
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00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:57,839
Quantum growth and connection explores success
strategies, power principles, relationship
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rescue,
