WEBVTT
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STRAWUT media. On October fourteenth,
two thousand and fifteen, a film starring
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Kate Blanchet and Bruney Mara premiered in
the UK. In the year that followed,
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the film was nominated for six Academy
Awards, five Golden Globes, nine
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bafto awards, six independent spirit awards
and nine critics choice movie awards. The
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British Film Institute named it the best
lgbt film of all time. The movie
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was called Carol, and out of
that film grew a devoted, passionate community
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of fans. Today we're joined by
one of those fans, Alison Tate.
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She refers to herself and her peers
affectionately as carol attics. What made Carol
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such a pivotal and life changing film
for so many people? Is a Carol
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Addiction, the kind of addiction you
have to quit. Is there some kind
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of support group out there for this? I'M LEA by Chambers, and this
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is pride ready. All righty as
I'll ever be, introduce yourself. Hi,
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my name is Alison. I am
a filmmaker and the writer director of
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Carol's Port Group. What is Carol? Everything, because I like to say
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there was a time. There's BC, which was the time before Carol.
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My Life hadn't really quite started.
Then Carol came on and changed everything.
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Carol a film directed by Todd Haynes, and that Todd Haynes. It was
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incredible. He's, as I like
to say, Lesbian Jesus, starring Kate
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Blanchat, Kate my queen forever,
and Rooney Mara. I Love Rooney in
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this film so much because I related
to her so hard carol. The film
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is based on a one nineteen fifty
two romance novel, the Price of Salt,
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by Patricia Highsmith. It was published
under a pseudonym, Claire Morgan,
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because she had a thriller career going
on. Patricia Highsmith had published her first
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novel, strangers on a train,
two years earlier, which Alfred Hitchcock adapted
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into a film the following year and
launched her career as a suspense writer.
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The price of salt was her second
novel and it was very popular among queer
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women in the s. She received
Fan mail addressed to Claire Morgan. Then
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in one thousand nine hundred and ninety, bloomsbury reprinted her novel under her real
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name and renamed it Carol in the
afterword of the nine ninety. Addition,
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she wrote that she published it under
a pseudonym because she didn't want to be
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labeled a lesbian book writer. The
story is about a woman named Carol,
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a suburban housewife in the s who
falls in love with Terres Bella, that
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played by Rooney Mara, who is
a shopkeeper at department store. They meet
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during Christmas time and fall in love. And what time is it right now?
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It's Carol time, it's Christmas time. It's carol season, Christmas season.
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There one in the same for me. Now, most of the plot
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of Carol takes place during the holidays. December twenty one is the day that
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terres goes over to Carol's house for
the first time and like that's a day
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to celebrate. They're together through Christmas. So really every moment of the season
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is something to celebrate. and New
Year's is an especially important day in the
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world of Carol for those of you
that have seen the film. Spoiler alert
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for those who haven't. But on
New Year's is the day that they make
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love. So it really climaxes,
if you will, on New Year's.
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I should leave. I don't think
you should. I think you should stay.
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Alison knew that Carol would be a
big part of her life before she
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had even seen it. By the
time the film was playing at Afi Fest
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in November two thousand and fifteen,
she was already engrossed. And we were
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going to go in character, like
just up, like I had my best
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red dress on, like I did
my hair, we did our makeup,
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we had the scarves. We were
like, Oh my God, everyone's going
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to be dressed up for this movie. Oh my God, my God,
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I god. We get there like
no one else was darissed up, but
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we were like so proud of our
looks and the line was around the block
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and we got a little nervous,
but we're like it's okay, we'll get
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in, will get in. We
go back. I'm like four hundred in
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light, like we're so far back. We get up to the corner of
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the street and the volunteer is like
we're a capacity, stops me and says
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we're a capacity. I almost cried, but I didn't. I thought what
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would carol do? She would charm
her way through this potential road block.
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So I chatted with the volunteer woman
and she saw how key we are and
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how excited and she turned the other
cheeks so we could go over to the
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theater. But that wasn't we weren't
in yet. There was security outside the
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theater turning people away. It's full, it's fall its full. So the
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crowd there started thinning, but we
stayed and kept moving up until it was
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like just us, and it's more
volunteers took pity on us and so did
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the security guard and they squeezed us
in. We were in the very front
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row, on the far, far
right side, corner seat, but we
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got in. I will never forget
how it made me feel. I'll never
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forget how I felt seeing that final
shot, because that look she gives felt
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like a look of unconditional love and
just piercing belief in me and it felt
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like I could achieve anything I wanted, which is insane sounding, but it
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hit me like that and I was
just resonating with that through the entire credit
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sequence. I just had never felt
quite an impact like that from a film
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before. Allison says part of the
reason she and other carol super fans feel
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such an intense emotional connection to the
film is that both main characters are so
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relatable. On the one hand,
I related to Charez and and saw her
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experience falling in love as a similar
to my first experience falling in love,
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and on the other hand I relate
to carol because I want to be as
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powerful and Badass and flawless and strong
and not fall less. I mean she's
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human but, you know, fallow
us like a goddess and at the same
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time, like I want a partner
like Carol, like Carol, seeking Carol's
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I have a situation, is what
I would describe myself. Another contributor to
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the film's could status, Alison says, is that a list cast the portrayal
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of Carol by two Time Academy Award
Winner Kate Blanchett. It felt like it
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was doing so much justice and giving
so much dignity to queer experiences. And
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of course she's phenomenal and incredible and
we all want to be her or be
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with her. Like the attraction is
undeniable and that attraction can have all different
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forms, but she's so compelling as
a person and actor and as the character.
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So that was like instant, like
I'm instantly smitten with this character and
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need to know everything that happens to
her. The film, cinematography, costume
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design and production design were nominated for
numerous awards. The way that it was
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shot was like anything I had ever
seen before, and yet I felt fluent
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in that language as soon as I
saw it. So it was that's really
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the best way I can describe it, I think, because really the bottom
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line for this is like, how
can you explain why you fall in love?
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What words can you put on that? I feel like I can describe
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things around it, but I think
the core of that is magic, and
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that's what I feel when I think
about this film and that's what I feel
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when I think about people I fall
in love with. It's like you can't
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really quite put your finger on it, but you can get close. In
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Popular Culture, love stories about we
were women often lack nuance and are written
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from male perspectives, but Carol is
different. The subtle looks and the long
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gazes and the eye contacts and like
the brush of the shoulder behind the piano
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and everything that's unspoken yet still communicated
rings so true, I think, to
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the Queer female experience, experiences,
because there's not just one. But I
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think that hits I think that's like
the veins of the film and and that
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runs through it and people can see
their longing represented, they can see their
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unspoken ways of communication represented, you
know, and I think those are the
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ways that the heart communicates a lot
of the time, especially when you can't
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be open and blunt and super direct
and you don't have rom calm examples to
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kind of emulate or go from or
see how this could happen. I mean
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for the characters in the film,
it was all uncharted territory of how they
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were going to connect at all,
how they were going to share what they're
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feeling with each other at all.
They didn't have the vernacular for it whatsoever.
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And you know, we are in
a different time now, but not
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necessarily. It's not a universally more
liberated time at all. So I think
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that that repressed communication and just that
flung out of space feeling of I'm feeling
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all these things. They feel overwhelmed. I don't know what to do.
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How am I going to navigate this
and still move towards the person that I
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desire? I think that territory that
unknown is relatable for anyone falling in love.
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Doesn't Carol FANDOM HAVE A name?
Well, I like to call him
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carolytics because that's the handles, the
social media handles for myself. So that's
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what they are, the Caroltics,
and I think so. I mean people
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can tell me how they like to
identify, but I like to think of
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us as carollytics in a loving way. And for the record, disclaimer,
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I'm not minimizing real addiction here whatsoever. I'm just using the archetype of an
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AA meeting, support group meeting to
illustrate when we come back addiction to Carol.
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As we're sitting and talking Carol,
Alison's phone rings. She POPs open
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the Pearl Clasps of her clutch and
pulls out her cell phone to silence it.
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Seeing Alison hold a modern object like
an iphone is strange against the backdrop
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of her carol inspired wardrobe, a
strand of pearls around her neck and green
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ear rings. She's wearing a leopard
print coat. The Carol coat that was
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in the movie is currently at my
friend's house, otherwise I'd be wearing that.
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So full transparency Alison after the film
came out, because we were still
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working together at the time, she
would come to the office and there was
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no, no offense. There's no
real reason for it. Wasn't like we
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were going to watch it or it
was like, oh, it's the anniversary
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of the day came out. It'd
be like it's a Wednesday. Oh,
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why, you look like you're straight
out of the fifties. She would,
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she could do it interviews, but
she was at that time. She was
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leading the video department at the advocate. Yeah, I mean you knew like,
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Oh, poor sweetheart, poor sweetheart, she's so old, says.
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Did you take pity on me?
No, because I kind of liked it,
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but I loved it the film.
Know, you did it totally.
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It was like it just changed her
almost. It really did. That's really
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interesting to hear because you did know
me before and after. Yeah, I
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swear she would just show him like
what an interesting coach choice. You know
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what's eighty five degrees. I we
like, let's walk to starbucks, get
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my coat more my gloves, my
driving gloves. My gloves are on the
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table at the moment. My addiction
started when I heard about the movie coming
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out. I heard it was based
on the book. I bought the book,
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read it immediately. Obsession began.
So that was the beginning. The
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end that it's the beakinning of the
end Cyanara to my life. So have
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you read the book more than once? I read it twice in anticipation of
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the film. I needed to do
something while I was waiting for the film
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to come out, and I remember
when the trailer dropped, I watched it
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every day, every day, every
day, like when I would wake up.
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I remember like it was part of
my morning routine. I assume that
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morning routine went something like this.
Wake up, get out of bed,
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watch the carol trailer, drink water, brush teeth, watch the carol trailer
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again, make coffee, get dressed, watch the carol trailer once more,
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go to work. I don't consciously
think about Carol every day, but I
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think my world is so molded and
informed by it that Carol is with me
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every day in some way, shape
or form. I mean you should see
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my room. Like nothing but their
stuff that I have. No it paintings.
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Now it's informed in in more subtle
ways now I used to have.
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I mean you probably remember this.
At the office I tried to put up
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a full sized Carol poster and take
it down. That's a true story.
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That was true. I mean she
like tried to drag a billboard into the
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elevator. It was like full side. Thought this is full sized movie poster
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and they were like no, I
mean was huge and I was hurt,
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but I understood because it was blocking
the window from the other side of where
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somebody worked, and I was like, oh, that's terrible, I can't
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three and a half feet tall,
three and a half feet tall and you
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could totally see it from the other
side. Just sure some point. Yeah,
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so I had to get smaller.
Thanks. Allison is a filmmaker herself.
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She graduated from USC's film program the
same one that Shapes Judd Apatow,
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Ron Howard, Brian Grazer, George
Lucas and Robert Zemeckis. That's why it
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feels like BC, like time before. Carol is only like half a joke,
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because I specifically remember. I think
I've ever really shared this before,
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but I remember my professor sitting me
down towards the end of my time they're
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and asking me flat out what kind
of movies I wanted to make, and
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I didn't have a clear answer for
that. This is not the only movie
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that I enjoy, but now it's
crystallized so much much of who I am
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and what I want to do that, if someone asked me now, I
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like to say Carol is the Benevolent
Godmother of the type of films that I'd
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like to make. There's an icon
now that I can point to and uses
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a reference point and people get it
and and it's in the culture now,
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it's in our consciousness and we know
what what can exist and the type of
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level that a love story and Queer
love story can be told on. And
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you know, I want to follow
in those footsteps and I have my work
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feel in similar ways that I want
my work to feel for people in ways
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that Carol made me feel. I
want them to feel seen and feel loved
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and feel dignified and and cared for
in the way that art is created,
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and I feel like that's what Todd
Haines in the team did so magnificently is.
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I feel like there's so much love
poured into every frame and so much
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care and attention to detail and craft
and really that, to me, that
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all comes down to love, you
know, then passion for what what you're
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doing, and and that comes through. It's not just the fiction of it.
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You know, I also fell in
love with the craft and I learned
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so much from studying that film in
extreme detail, you know, than I
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have studying a wider range of films, let's say, because the depth that
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I went into and that one taught
me so much. But truth be told,
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being a carol addict is not all
pearls and red lipstick. I remember
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a feeling of shame come up when
I had seen it so many times and
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I thought, do I love this
too much? Is this weird? Is
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this wrong? Is this a problem? Am I disturbed? Do I need
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to just get over this? What's
wrong with me? Those kind of things
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did come up and I realized that
I had to sort of keep my feelings
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to myself in front of some people, or not express them fully or,
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you know, act more coy about
it or pretend like I wasn't going to
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see it again for the ninth time, for the ninth time, and that
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was something that I struggle with and
honestly, so kind of do, because
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if I were to just blurt out
all of my feelings about this to someone
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not in a podcast setting, it's
unusual and and the way I overcame that,
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I think, was through seeing other
people share their love on on Tumblr,
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and their fan are and their adoration
and it kind of gave me those
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stepping stones to keep going and to
turn that leaf and say no, this
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is awesome, this does mean so
much to me and why would I suppress
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that? Why would I go against
my own grain? That's not something Carol
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would do. So Allison has embraced
her Carol Addiction. She still watches the
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film regularly and every time I watched
again, there's something new that I get
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out of it. I never really
thought is it holding me back, but
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I did recognize that it was like
this monolith in my field of vision and
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it was hard for me to I
just didn't want to focus on other things.
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I wanted to keep pouring my thoughts
and my explorations into that and it
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turned out not to be a hindrance
but something that really moved me forward in
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the next film in my career and
something that I get to talk to people
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about and became a stepping stone for
me. Alison noticed a similarity in the
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way she felt shame for her love
for Carol and another formative experience in her
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life. You know, in some
ways that's a parallel for a lot of
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coming out experiences of just feeling that
shame around desire. I think that's relatable
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for a lot of people of whatever
orientation, and I think that moving through
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that shame and expressing that desire and
allowing yourself to just not only have that
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exiety desire, like accepting that desire
and then choosing to express it and move
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towards that desire and like reach that
is one of the most powerful things that
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people can do and I think if
we all acknowledged what we want in our
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hearts and souls and gave ourselves permission
and the grace and kindness to move towards
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that in whatever way, we would
be happier, because repressing things takes a
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lot of energy and it's a lot
of weight and negativity and it only creates
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negative outlash to other people. But
if you gave yourself an outlet, you
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know, sort of a little steam
vent, if you will, and let
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yourself reach towards that, you'll be
a lot kinder to people and a lot
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it's a relief. It's a relief
at the end of the day, someone
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who has served as an inspiration to
allison and learning to embrace her desire,
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Carol, because I sort of see
her as a superhero, as someone who
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is true to herself and stands up
for that and chooses not to live against
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her own grain, takes care of
her mental health first, even if that
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means that she can't have her daughter
for the moment. She's prioritizing her own
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health, which is such a huge
statement and step for especially someone in the
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s to take, let alone a
woman and a queer woman in the lesbian
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in the s to take that stand. So, you see, it's not
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surprising that allison would want to experience
the magic of Carol over and over and
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over again. I saw it many
more time while it was in theaters.
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Can you put a number? I
have all my ticket stubs. I think
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I have nine tickets stubs from when
it was there, and I remember this
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was the point where I realized my
Love was becoming possibly an addiction or becoming
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hard to manage, because I remember
I was living with my dad at the
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time and I like needed to get
something done, like groceries or something practical,
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you know, to keep myself alive, and I remember thinking, okay,
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but I really want to go to
the movie again today, but if
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I do that then I won't be
able to get this done and then I'm
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gonna have a problem over here.
And I was like, Oh my God,
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what is happening? Is this impacting
my life, like my ability to
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function in life? And so that
colonel was there. Wait, did you
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go see the movie or did you
go get the milk and the egg to
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the grocery? So the movie the
next day? Okay, so you did
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make that. You weren't like,
I'll start, it's fine. No,
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I didn't start, but I remember
the tension of that moment and being frustrated
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that I couldn't just go immediately,
that I needed to like man enage,
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I don't know, something called my
life. It's like, that's not that's
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not what I want to do right
now. I've one thing in mind that
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I want to do. So I
was feeling these things and working at pride
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media at the time at the advocate
and our old co worker, areas mean
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Veryale, suggested that I do a
sketch about people addicted to carol because I
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was doing videos for them at the
time, and I was like, Oh
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my God, I must like it
was an instant, yes, that I
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had to do this, but they
were suggesting, oh, just like get
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some people from the office, like
going a room and like do it real
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quick, and I was like no, I must do the film justice when
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we come back. Allison creates her
own support group. After the initial spark
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for the short film, Allison spent
the next few months writing a script that
283
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took really a long time because there
was so many references that I wanted to
284
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fit in, both from the film
and the Fandom, and yet I had
285
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to have a plot that moved forward
and that had a conclusion, like I
286
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still had to have its own story
structure. And another interview I did the
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00:25:33.880 --> 00:25:37.880
woman described it as like trying to
like a test, or actually described it
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as a test or act, because
it was like a puzzle that I was
289
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trying to fit in, and I
watched it again recently and I thought that
290
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was a pretty good assessment, because
you can watch it on different levels,
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like you could just watch it for
the jokes and the comedy and and the
292
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Gags and see that arc clearly,
or you can imer and or you can
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watch it and try to catch all
the little references that are tucked in there
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like a game, which I think
is fun and people have enjoyed doing and
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now you have friends so that definitely
like yes, mean, yeah, related
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to that kind even that was kind
of like, Huh, that's so funny.
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It's also kind of like I wish
we had one of those right.
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And shout out to Tracy Gilcrest,
who is definitely one of the biggest carol
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attics that I know, add a
strong supporter of me and the film and
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my short films. So it was
a real need and that was sort of
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the joke. That wasn't much of
a joke as I was making it,
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and it really did drive me when
I was writing and writing and just sort
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of in that solo process of that
grind a bit to be like looking at
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the Tumbler and looking at social media
and seeing how many people were addicted and
305
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just in love and feeling all these
feelings, all this energy, all this
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00:27:03.960 --> 00:27:08.440
adoration. I need to channel it
somewhere and thankfully I could put that into
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a short film. And one of
my driving motives was to show the other
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fans and the other addicts that they
weren't alone and that and and really I
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wanted to offer something to them and
say, I see you in all of
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your love and addiction. Here's a
treat for that, a treatment quote unquote
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if you will, but really just
a gift, and a gift with a
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smirk at that, like we don't
we don't want to get over this.
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Alison Describes Carol Support Group as a
love letter to Carol and to Carol addicts.
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It is a comedy, a comedic
homage to people addicted to Carol,
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and it's about a group of people
in an a type meeting who are trying
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to get over their addiction and then
mutiny ensues and you'll have to see how
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they handle that. So it's about
a disruption in the Carol Addict Meeting.
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Carol has giving me life. She
brought us together and that is the most
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breathtaking of gifts. Something really gratifying
that has come from this obsession and the
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PHANDOM and making my short film offering
is that people around the world saw it
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and said that they felt seen and
said that they laughed and cried when they
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watched Carol Support Group and that they
watched it like six times. And my
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favorite comment was someone said I need
a support group for how much I'm addicted
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to Carol Support Group, and I
was like, that's it, that's all
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I needed to say here. I
love it. I arrived, some of
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the vlog talking about about how they
felt about it, and it meant a
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lot to be able to create something
that helped people feel seen, and I
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00:29:03.319 --> 00:29:08.440
think that that's what Carol did and
I loved hearing back from the fans like
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it was so much fun and I
hope to keep creating things that I can
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share with them ready for our road
trip. Yes, representation in film and
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Popular Culture is pivotal for young people
discovering their sexuality. For Allison, it
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all began one college freshman night when
I found myself another girl's dorm room,
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on her bed, kissing her neck
and she asked me if I was gay
334
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and I said no, because becaussing
next totally not gave me to do right.
335
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I like choked up in that moment. I was just like no,
336
00:29:53.720 --> 00:29:56.359
no, no, what are you
doing about? No, no, and
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I like left and then it was
super awkward for a while, but she
338
00:30:00.440 --> 00:30:08.640
was awakened or whatever sexually and knew
who she was and was like well,
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first she came the cold shoulder for
like two weeks, but one night we
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were supposed to go see Mohand drive
at school and I had seen it before
341
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and I knew I would not be
able to sit there through that movie and
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watch those women when I was feeling
this kind of way. So I was
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in the front row. The move
was about to start, I climb over
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people and like run out of the
theater. I was like I can't handle
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this, and I went and found
her and talked to her and in that
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conversation she helped me accept myself and
I realized that I could accept myself.
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Like the things that were holding me
up were like other people's thoughts or opinions
348
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that I feared, but they weren't
actually what I thought about myself, and
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that was huge moment. That's,
you know, the first step. I
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remember seeing this path like a fork
in the road, and one path was
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like the light and amazing future and
California and acceptance and love and all my
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friends, and the other path was
like if I keep these thoughts in my
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head of like Oh, this is
wrong, like I'm disgusting, I'm a
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monster, like the only end of
that path is suicide, and that's the
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path a lot of queer kids go
down because they don't have another option or
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they feel like they don't have that
other path. And I'll always remember that
357
00:31:42.880 --> 00:31:48.200
feeling because that's where I was,
you know, I felt like I was
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at that fork in the road and
a lot of people struggle with that and
359
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I feel for that, I really
really do. And so I want to
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share my story and be honest and
and also share my love for the people
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that I love and the things and
the feelings that I love. Not Extends
362
00:32:07.920 --> 00:32:12.759
for Carol and Carol Support Group like
it comes from a deep place of like
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we have to express our love or
what's the point of living like or,
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you know, death right. Not
to be like the most dramatic. It
365
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was probably not the most eloquent way
to say it, but that's life like.
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If we're repressing who we are,
that's not living and a lot of
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people have to do that and I
understand why they have to do that for
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safety a lot of the time.
But yeah, that was part of my
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lowest low comes in that coming out
experience story, and this is really the
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first time I've shared that publicly outside
of film and Television. Alison had another
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big moment when she realized that people
like her, we're out there and doing
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amazing things. I went to a
camp, which is a camp that autostrattle
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puts on, which is a queer
female culture website, autoshattlecom, and that
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changed my world because up until that
point, I think two thousand and thirteen,
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I was like a sophomore in college. I think I hadn't really seen
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a community like that that was that
large. Like it was definitely queer people
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that I knew at school and,
you know, there was a little groups
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that school, but going and seeing
just queer women all hanging out at this
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camp in the woods and California,
like I remember walking through with like just
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stars in my eyes, like rose
color glasses and just, I'm sure my
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00:33:55.799 --> 00:34:01.319
jaw just like dropped because it was
like I had never felt this energy before
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00:34:01.720 --> 00:34:07.480
and I had never been in a
space that felt, frankly, so at
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home before, and not that I
didn't feel at home in other places,
384
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but this is a specific kind of
feeling that Queer people understand when they are
385
00:34:19.920 --> 00:34:27.199
with their family in that way,
you know, and we have different types
386
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of family, but that is one
that I had. I didn't know that
387
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I had that family, and so
to like meet all of them and to
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00:34:32.159 --> 00:34:36.639
feel that space, then I realized, okay, wow, this is a
389
00:34:36.719 --> 00:34:44.000
much bigger world than I realized and
I can be here. I am here.
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This is a part of me too. Thank you to autostrattle for the
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00:34:46.480 --> 00:34:51.960
work you do. Patricia Highsmith,
thank you for writing the first lesbian novel
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that doesn't end in despair, in
the s no less. And of course,
393
00:34:55.519 --> 00:35:00.519
thank you, Todd Haynes, for
directing the one and only carol,
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whom Allison got to thank in person, and I just got to say I
395
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got to shake his hand and say
you're my hero. Carol changed my life.
396
00:35:07.159 --> 00:35:10.559
Thank you so much and I think
your genius. Can we take a
397
00:35:10.559 --> 00:35:16.119
Selfie? And the best part was
I could see the reaction on his face.
398
00:35:16.119 --> 00:35:20.519
He was like Oh, like he
really took my words to heart and
399
00:35:20.559 --> 00:35:23.039
like wasn't expecting me to call him
a hero, even though I feel like
400
00:35:23.039 --> 00:35:28.719
everyone there thought that he was,
and that really meant a lot to me.
401
00:35:28.760 --> 00:35:34.599
Like he wasn't jaded by saturation,
like I felt like he really felt
402
00:35:34.760 --> 00:35:38.440
felt me and was was receiving that. And we got a photo and it's
403
00:35:38.480 --> 00:35:45.480
all amazing and I was on cloud
nine afterwards. I was so jazzed I
404
00:35:45.480 --> 00:35:49.840
felt like I was floating. Like
I understand now why people say pinch me
405
00:35:49.880 --> 00:35:53.239
when they have those moments because I
felt like numb and my body it's like
406
00:35:53.400 --> 00:35:58.360
where am I in diamond space,
and I had to go out dancing that
407
00:35:58.480 --> 00:36:00.000
night, so I met my friend
and we went some dancing to celebrate.
408
00:36:00.280 --> 00:36:04.599
Everyone has that special thing, a
movie, a book, a play,
409
00:36:04.719 --> 00:36:09.199
a song, a painting, a
person that changes your life forever. For
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00:36:09.320 --> 00:36:15.840
Allison and many queer women just like
her, it's Carol. I live for
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00:36:15.920 --> 00:36:22.920
those full circle moments, the serendipities
when things come together that show you your
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path and that you're on your path, because, it's Carol said, everything
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00:36:25.440 --> 00:36:31.960
comes full circle. Link. Where
can everyone connect with you? On Social
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00:36:32.000 --> 00:36:38.719
Media? I'm on Instagram, twitter
and facebook at Alison Films, also m
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00:36:38.840 --> 00:36:45.199
films. You can watch Alison's short
film Carol Support Group in its entirety at
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00:36:45.280 --> 00:37:29.679
Carol Support Groupcom pride is a production
of Straw hut media. If you like
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00:37:29.760 --> 00:37:32.079
the show, leave us a rating
and a review on Apple, podcast,
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00:37:32.199 --> 00:37:37.480
spotify or wherever you get your favorite
podcast. Share us with your friends,
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00:37:37.559 --> 00:37:40.840
subscribe and follow us on Instagram,
facebook and twitter at pride. You can
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00:37:40.880 --> 00:37:45.440
follow me at Lea by chambers.
Pride is produced by me, Maggie Bowls
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00:37:45.519 --> 00:38:10.000
and Ryan Tillotson, edited by Sebastian
Alcohola. So when Hella and thor does
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00:38:10.039 --> 00:38:14.920
the to that, we all just
like the hair swoop into crown. You
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00:38:15.079 --> 00:38:22.320
destroy that Hammer. We just you're
like yeah, tell him, just destroy
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00:38:22.440 --> 00:38:29.079
the world, just be fabulous,
just come over here, stomp on me.
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00:38:29.119 --> 00:38:29.519
It's fine.
1
00:00:01.360 --> 00:00:17.519
STRAWUT media. On October fourteenth,
two thousand and fifteen, a film starring
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Kate Blanchet and Bruney Mara premiered in
the UK. In the year that followed,
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00:00:22.320 --> 00:00:26.640
the film was nominated for six Academy
Awards, five Golden Globes, nine
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00:00:26.679 --> 00:00:31.879
bafto awards, six independent spirit awards
and nine critics choice movie awards. The
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00:00:31.920 --> 00:00:36.560
British Film Institute named it the best
lgbt film of all time. The movie
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00:00:36.719 --> 00:00:41.119
was called Carol, and out of
that film grew a devoted, passionate community
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00:00:41.200 --> 00:00:45.000
of fans. Today we're joined by
one of those fans, Alison Tate.
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00:00:45.479 --> 00:00:50.719
She refers to herself and her peers
affectionately as carol attics. What made Carol
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00:00:50.799 --> 00:00:54.960
such a pivotal and life changing film
for so many people? Is a Carol
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00:00:55.000 --> 00:00:58.399
Addiction, the kind of addiction you
have to quit. Is there some kind
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00:00:58.439 --> 00:01:02.560
of support group out there for this? I'M LEA by Chambers, and this
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00:01:02.799 --> 00:01:26.040
is pride ready. All righty as
I'll ever be, introduce yourself. Hi,
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00:01:26.079 --> 00:01:29.400
my name is Alison. I am
a filmmaker and the writer director of
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00:01:29.439 --> 00:01:38.040
Carol's Port Group. What is Carol? Everything, because I like to say
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there was a time. There's BC, which was the time before Carol.
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My Life hadn't really quite started.
Then Carol came on and changed everything.
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Carol a film directed by Todd Haynes, and that Todd Haynes. It was
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incredible. He's, as I like
to say, Lesbian Jesus, starring Kate
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00:02:01.640 --> 00:02:09.120
Blanchat, Kate my queen forever,
and Rooney Mara. I Love Rooney in
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00:02:09.159 --> 00:02:17.080
this film so much because I related
to her so hard carol. The film
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00:02:17.120 --> 00:02:21.759
is based on a one nineteen fifty
two romance novel, the Price of Salt,
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00:02:21.840 --> 00:02:27.240
by Patricia Highsmith. It was published
under a pseudonym, Claire Morgan,
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00:02:27.280 --> 00:02:32.319
because she had a thriller career going
on. Patricia Highsmith had published her first
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00:02:32.360 --> 00:02:37.479
novel, strangers on a train,
two years earlier, which Alfred Hitchcock adapted
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into a film the following year and
launched her career as a suspense writer.
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The price of salt was her second
novel and it was very popular among queer
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women in the s. She received
Fan mail addressed to Claire Morgan. Then
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in one thousand nine hundred and ninety, bloomsbury reprinted her novel under her real
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name and renamed it Carol in the
afterword of the nine ninety. Addition,
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she wrote that she published it under
a pseudonym because she didn't want to be
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labeled a lesbian book writer. The
story is about a woman named Carol,
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a suburban housewife in the s who
falls in love with Terres Bella, that
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played by Rooney Mara, who is
a shopkeeper at department store. They meet
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during Christmas time and fall in love. And what time is it right now?
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It's Carol time, it's Christmas time. It's carol season, Christmas season.
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There one in the same for me. Now, most of the plot
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of Carol takes place during the holidays. December twenty one is the day that
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terres goes over to Carol's house for
the first time and like that's a day
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to celebrate. They're together through Christmas. So really every moment of the season
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is something to celebrate. and New
Year's is an especially important day in the
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world of Carol for those of you
that have seen the film. Spoiler alert
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for those who haven't. But on
New Year's is the day that they make
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love. So it really climaxes,
if you will, on New Year's.
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I should leave. I don't think
you should. I think you should stay.
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Alison knew that Carol would be a
big part of her life before she
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had even seen it. By the
time the film was playing at Afi Fest
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in November two thousand and fifteen,
she was already engrossed. And we were
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going to go in character, like
just up, like I had my best
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red dress on, like I did
my hair, we did our makeup,
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we had the scarves. We were
like, Oh my God, everyone's going
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to be dressed up for this movie. Oh my God, my God,
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I god. We get there like
no one else was darissed up, but
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we were like so proud of our
looks and the line was around the block
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00:04:45.279 --> 00:04:46.639
and we got a little nervous,
but we're like it's okay, we'll get
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in, will get in. We
go back. I'm like four hundred in
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light, like we're so far back. We get up to the corner of
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the street and the volunteer is like
we're a capacity, stops me and says
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we're a capacity. I almost cried, but I didn't. I thought what
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would carol do? She would charm
her way through this potential road block.
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So I chatted with the volunteer woman
and she saw how key we are and
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how excited and she turned the other
cheeks so we could go over to the
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theater. But that wasn't we weren't
in yet. There was security outside the
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theater turning people away. It's full, it's fall its full. So the
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crowd there started thinning, but we
stayed and kept moving up until it was
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00:05:34.560 --> 00:05:41.439
like just us, and it's more
volunteers took pity on us and so did
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00:05:41.480 --> 00:05:46.480
the security guard and they squeezed us
in. We were in the very front
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00:05:46.839 --> 00:05:50.079
row, on the far, far
right side, corner seat, but we
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got in. I will never forget
how it made me feel. I'll never
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00:06:02.560 --> 00:06:10.240
forget how I felt seeing that final
shot, because that look she gives felt
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like a look of unconditional love and
just piercing belief in me and it felt
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like I could achieve anything I wanted, which is insane sounding, but it
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hit me like that and I was
just resonating with that through the entire credit
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sequence. I just had never felt
quite an impact like that from a film
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00:06:39.560 --> 00:06:46.399
before. Allison says part of the
reason she and other carol super fans feel
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such an intense emotional connection to the
film is that both main characters are so
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relatable. On the one hand,
I related to Charez and and saw her
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experience falling in love as a similar
to my first experience falling in love,
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and on the other hand I relate
to carol because I want to be as
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powerful and Badass and flawless and strong
and not fall less. I mean she's
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human but, you know, fallow
us like a goddess and at the same
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time, like I want a partner
like Carol, like Carol, seeking Carol's
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I have a situation, is what
I would describe myself. Another contributor to
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the film's could status, Alison says, is that a list cast the portrayal
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of Carol by two Time Academy Award
Winner Kate Blanchett. It felt like it
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was doing so much justice and giving
so much dignity to queer experiences. And
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of course she's phenomenal and incredible and
we all want to be her or be
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with her. Like the attraction is
undeniable and that attraction can have all different
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forms, but she's so compelling as
a person and actor and as the character.
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00:08:01.839 --> 00:08:09.079
So that was like instant, like
I'm instantly smitten with this character and
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need to know everything that happens to
her. The film, cinematography, costume
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design and production design were nominated for
numerous awards. The way that it was
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shot was like anything I had ever
seen before, and yet I felt fluent
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in that language as soon as I
saw it. So it was that's really
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the best way I can describe it, I think, because really the bottom
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line for this is like, how
can you explain why you fall in love?
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What words can you put on that? I feel like I can describe
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things around it, but I think
the core of that is magic, and
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that's what I feel when I think
about this film and that's what I feel
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when I think about people I fall
in love with. It's like you can't
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really quite put your finger on it, but you can get close. In
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Popular Culture, love stories about we
were women often lack nuance and are written
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from male perspectives, but Carol is
different. The subtle looks and the long
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gazes and the eye contacts and like
the brush of the shoulder behind the piano
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and everything that's unspoken yet still communicated
rings so true, I think, to
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the Queer female experience, experiences,
because there's not just one. But I
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think that hits I think that's like
the veins of the film and and that
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runs through it and people can see
their longing represented, they can see their
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unspoken ways of communication represented, you
know, and I think those are the
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ways that the heart communicates a lot
of the time, especially when you can't
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be open and blunt and super direct
and you don't have rom calm examples to
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kind of emulate or go from or
see how this could happen. I mean
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for the characters in the film,
it was all uncharted territory of how they
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were going to connect at all,
how they were going to share what they're
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feeling with each other at all.
They didn't have the vernacular for it whatsoever.
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And you know, we are in
a different time now, but not
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necessarily. It's not a universally more
liberated time at all. So I think
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that that repressed communication and just that
flung out of space feeling of I'm feeling
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all these things. They feel overwhelmed. I don't know what to do.
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How am I going to navigate this
and still move towards the person that I
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desire? I think that territory that
unknown is relatable for anyone falling in love.
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Doesn't Carol FANDOM HAVE A name?
Well, I like to call him
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carolytics because that's the handles, the
social media handles for myself. So that's
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what they are, the Caroltics,
and I think so. I mean people
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can tell me how they like to
identify, but I like to think of
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us as carollytics in a loving way. And for the record, disclaimer,
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I'm not minimizing real addiction here whatsoever. I'm just using the archetype of an
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AA meeting, support group meeting to
illustrate when we come back addiction to Carol.
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As we're sitting and talking Carol,
Alison's phone rings. She POPs open
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the Pearl Clasps of her clutch and
pulls out her cell phone to silence it.
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Seeing Alison hold a modern object like
an iphone is strange against the backdrop
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of her carol inspired wardrobe, a
strand of pearls around her neck and green
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ear rings. She's wearing a leopard
print coat. The Carol coat that was
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in the movie is currently at my
friend's house, otherwise I'd be wearing that.
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So full transparency Alison after the film
came out, because we were still
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working together at the time, she
would come to the office and there was
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no, no offense. There's no
real reason for it. Wasn't like we
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were going to watch it or it
was like, oh, it's the anniversary
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of the day came out. It'd
be like it's a Wednesday. Oh,
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why, you look like you're straight
out of the fifties. She would,
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she could do it interviews, but
she was at that time. She was
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leading the video department at the advocate. Yeah, I mean you knew like,
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Oh, poor sweetheart, poor sweetheart, she's so old, says.
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Did you take pity on me?
No, because I kind of liked it,
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but I loved it the film.
Know, you did it totally.
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It was like it just changed her
almost. It really did. That's really
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00:13:11.440 --> 00:13:15.720
interesting to hear because you did know
me before and after. Yeah, I
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00:13:15.720 --> 00:13:18.279
swear she would just show him like
what an interesting coach choice. You know
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00:13:18.320 --> 00:13:22.120
what's eighty five degrees. I we
like, let's walk to starbucks, get
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00:13:22.159 --> 00:13:26.600
my coat more my gloves, my
driving gloves. My gloves are on the
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table at the moment. My addiction
started when I heard about the movie coming
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out. I heard it was based
on the book. I bought the book,
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read it immediately. Obsession began.
So that was the beginning. The
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00:13:48.000 --> 00:13:56.000
end that it's the beakinning of the
end Cyanara to my life. So have
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you read the book more than once? I read it twice in anticipation of
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00:14:00.679 --> 00:14:03.559
the film. I needed to do
something while I was waiting for the film
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to come out, and I remember
when the trailer dropped, I watched it
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every day, every day, every
day, like when I would wake up.
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I remember like it was part of
my morning routine. I assume that
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00:14:16.960 --> 00:14:20.639
morning routine went something like this.
Wake up, get out of bed,
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watch the carol trailer, drink water, brush teeth, watch the carol trailer
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00:14:24.480 --> 00:14:28.320
again, make coffee, get dressed, watch the carol trailer once more,
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00:14:28.360 --> 00:14:37.960
go to work. I don't consciously
think about Carol every day, but I
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00:14:37.000 --> 00:14:43.039
think my world is so molded and
informed by it that Carol is with me
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00:14:43.080 --> 00:14:48.120
every day in some way, shape
or form. I mean you should see
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00:14:48.159 --> 00:14:52.799
my room. Like nothing but their
stuff that I have. No it paintings.
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Now it's informed in in more subtle
ways now I used to have.
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I mean you probably remember this.
At the office I tried to put up
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a full sized Carol poster and take
it down. That's a true story.
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That was true. I mean she
like tried to drag a billboard into the
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00:15:13.519 --> 00:15:18.039
elevator. It was like full side. Thought this is full sized movie poster
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and they were like no, I
mean was huge and I was hurt,
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but I understood because it was blocking
the window from the other side of where
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somebody worked, and I was like, oh, that's terrible, I can't
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00:15:33.159 --> 00:15:35.679
three and a half feet tall,
three and a half feet tall and you
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could totally see it from the other
side. Just sure some point. Yeah,
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so I had to get smaller.
Thanks. Allison is a filmmaker herself.
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She graduated from USC's film program the
same one that Shapes Judd Apatow,
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00:15:56.080 --> 00:16:00.960
Ron Howard, Brian Grazer, George
Lucas and Robert Zemeckis. That's why it
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00:16:00.960 --> 00:16:07.480
feels like BC, like time before. Carol is only like half a joke,
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because I specifically remember. I think
I've ever really shared this before,
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00:16:11.200 --> 00:16:14.960
but I remember my professor sitting me
down towards the end of my time they're
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and asking me flat out what kind
of movies I wanted to make, and
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I didn't have a clear answer for
that. This is not the only movie
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that I enjoy, but now it's
crystallized so much much of who I am
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and what I want to do that, if someone asked me now, I
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like to say Carol is the Benevolent
Godmother of the type of films that I'd
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like to make. There's an icon
now that I can point to and uses
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a reference point and people get it
and and it's in the culture now,
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it's in our consciousness and we know
what what can exist and the type of
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level that a love story and Queer
love story can be told on. And
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you know, I want to follow
in those footsteps and I have my work
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feel in similar ways that I want
my work to feel for people in ways
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that Carol made me feel. I
want them to feel seen and feel loved
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and feel dignified and and cared for
in the way that art is created,
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and I feel like that's what Todd
Haines in the team did so magnificently is.
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I feel like there's so much love
poured into every frame and so much
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care and attention to detail and craft
and really that, to me, that
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all comes down to love, you
know, then passion for what what you're
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doing, and and that comes through. It's not just the fiction of it.
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You know, I also fell in
love with the craft and I learned
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so much from studying that film in
extreme detail, you know, than I
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have studying a wider range of films, let's say, because the depth that
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I went into and that one taught
me so much. But truth be told,
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being a carol addict is not all
pearls and red lipstick. I remember
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a feeling of shame come up when
I had seen it so many times and
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I thought, do I love this
too much? Is this weird? Is
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this wrong? Is this a problem? Am I disturbed? Do I need
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to just get over this? What's
wrong with me? Those kind of things
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did come up and I realized that
I had to sort of keep my feelings
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to myself in front of some people, or not express them fully or,
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you know, act more coy about
it or pretend like I wasn't going to
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see it again for the ninth time, for the ninth time, and that
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was something that I struggle with and
honestly, so kind of do, because
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if I were to just blurt out
all of my feelings about this to someone
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not in a podcast setting, it's
unusual and and the way I overcame that,
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I think, was through seeing other
people share their love on on Tumblr,
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and their fan are and their adoration
and it kind of gave me those
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stepping stones to keep going and to
turn that leaf and say no, this
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is awesome, this does mean so
much to me and why would I suppress
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that? Why would I go against
my own grain? That's not something Carol
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would do. So Allison has embraced
her Carol Addiction. She still watches the
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film regularly and every time I watched
again, there's something new that I get
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out of it. I never really
thought is it holding me back, but
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I did recognize that it was like
this monolith in my field of vision and
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it was hard for me to I
just didn't want to focus on other things.
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I wanted to keep pouring my thoughts
and my explorations into that and it
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turned out not to be a hindrance
but something that really moved me forward in
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the next film in my career and
something that I get to talk to people
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about and became a stepping stone for
me. Alison noticed a similarity in the
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way she felt shame for her love
for Carol and another formative experience in her
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life. You know, in some
ways that's a parallel for a lot of
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coming out experiences of just feeling that
shame around desire. I think that's relatable
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for a lot of people of whatever
orientation, and I think that moving through
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that shame and expressing that desire and
allowing yourself to just not only have that
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exiety desire, like accepting that desire
and then choosing to express it and move
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towards that desire and like reach that
is one of the most powerful things that
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people can do and I think if
we all acknowledged what we want in our
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hearts and souls and gave ourselves permission
and the grace and kindness to move towards
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that in whatever way, we would
be happier, because repressing things takes a
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lot of energy and it's a lot
of weight and negativity and it only creates
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negative outlash to other people. But
if you gave yourself an outlet, you
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know, sort of a little steam
vent, if you will, and let
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yourself reach towards that, you'll be
a lot kinder to people and a lot
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it's a relief. It's a relief
at the end of the day, someone
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who has served as an inspiration to
allison and learning to embrace her desire,
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Carol, because I sort of see
her as a superhero, as someone who
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is true to herself and stands up
for that and chooses not to live against
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her own grain, takes care of
her mental health first, even if that
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means that she can't have her daughter
for the moment. She's prioritizing her own
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health, which is such a huge
statement and step for especially someone in the
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s to take, let alone a
woman and a queer woman in the lesbian
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in the s to take that stand. So, you see, it's not
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surprising that allison would want to experience
the magic of Carol over and over and
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over again. I saw it many
more time while it was in theaters.
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Can you put a number? I
have all my ticket stubs. I think
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I have nine tickets stubs from when
it was there, and I remember this
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was the point where I realized my
Love was becoming possibly an addiction or becoming
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hard to manage, because I remember
I was living with my dad at the
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time and I like needed to get
something done, like groceries or something practical,
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you know, to keep myself alive, and I remember thinking, okay,
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but I really want to go to
the movie again today, but if
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I do that then I won't be
able to get this done and then I'm
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gonna have a problem over here.
And I was like, Oh my God,
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what is happening? Is this impacting
my life, like my ability to
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function in life? And so that
colonel was there. Wait, did you
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go see the movie or did you
go get the milk and the egg to
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the grocery? So the movie the
next day? Okay, so you did
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make that. You weren't like,
I'll start, it's fine. No,
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I didn't start, but I remember
the tension of that moment and being frustrated
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that I couldn't just go immediately,
that I needed to like man enage,
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I don't know, something called my
life. It's like, that's not that's
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not what I want to do right
now. I've one thing in mind that
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I want to do. So I
was feeling these things and working at pride
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media at the time at the advocate
and our old co worker, areas mean
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Veryale, suggested that I do a
sketch about people addicted to carol because I
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was doing videos for them at the
time, and I was like, Oh
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my God, I must like it
was an instant, yes, that I
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had to do this, but they
were suggesting, oh, just like get
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some people from the office, like
going a room and like do it real
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quick, and I was like no, I must do the film justice when
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we come back. Allison creates her
own support group. After the initial spark
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for the short film, Allison spent
the next few months writing a script that
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took really a long time because there
was so many references that I wanted to
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fit in, both from the film
and the Fandom, and yet I had
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to have a plot that moved forward
and that had a conclusion, like I
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still had to have its own story
structure. And another interview I did the
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woman described it as like trying to
like a test, or actually described it
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as a test or act, because
it was like a puzzle that I was
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trying to fit in, and I
watched it again recently and I thought that
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was a pretty good assessment, because
you can watch it on different levels,
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like you could just watch it for
the jokes and the comedy and and the
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Gags and see that arc clearly,
or you can imer and or you can
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watch it and try to catch all
the little references that are tucked in there
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like a game, which I think
is fun and people have enjoyed doing and
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now you have friends so that definitely
like yes, mean, yeah, related
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to that kind even that was kind
of like, Huh, that's so funny.
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It's also kind of like I wish
we had one of those right.
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And shout out to Tracy Gilcrest,
who is definitely one of the biggest carol
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attics that I know, add a
strong supporter of me and the film and
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my short films. So it was
a real need and that was sort of
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the joke. That wasn't much of
a joke as I was making it,
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and it really did drive me when
I was writing and writing and just sort
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of in that solo process of that
grind a bit to be like looking at
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the Tumbler and looking at social media
and seeing how many people were addicted and
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just in love and feeling all these
feelings, all this energy, all this
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adoration. I need to channel it
somewhere and thankfully I could put that into
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a short film. And one of
my driving motives was to show the other
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fans and the other addicts that they
weren't alone and that and and really I
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wanted to offer something to them and
say, I see you in all of
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your love and addiction. Here's a
treat for that, a treatment quote unquote
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if you will, but really just
a gift, and a gift with a
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smirk at that, like we don't
we don't want to get over this.
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Alison Describes Carol Support Group as a
love letter to Carol and to Carol addicts.
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It is a comedy, a comedic
homage to people addicted to Carol,
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and it's about a group of people
in an a type meeting who are trying
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to get over their addiction and then
mutiny ensues and you'll have to see how
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they handle that. So it's about
a disruption in the Carol Addict Meeting.
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Carol has giving me life. She
brought us together and that is the most
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breathtaking of gifts. Something really gratifying
that has come from this obsession and the
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PHANDOM and making my short film offering
is that people around the world saw it
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and said that they felt seen and
said that they laughed and cried when they
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watched Carol Support Group and that they
watched it like six times. And my
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favorite comment was someone said I need
a support group for how much I'm addicted
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to Carol Support Group, and I
was like, that's it, that's all
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I needed to say here. I
love it. I arrived, some of
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the vlog talking about about how they
felt about it, and it meant a
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00:29:00.640 --> 00:29:03.319
lot to be able to create something
that helped people feel seen, and I
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00:29:03.319 --> 00:29:08.440
think that that's what Carol did and
I loved hearing back from the fans like
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it was so much fun and I
hope to keep creating things that I can
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share with them ready for our road
trip. Yes, representation in film and
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Popular Culture is pivotal for young people
discovering their sexuality. For Allison, it
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all began one college freshman night when
I found myself another girl's dorm room,
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on her bed, kissing her neck
and she asked me if I was gay
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and I said no, because becaussing
next totally not gave me to do right.
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I like choked up in that moment. I was just like no,
336
00:29:53.720 --> 00:29:56.359
no, no, what are you
doing about? No, no, and
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I like left and then it was
super awkward for a while, but she
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00:30:00.440 --> 00:30:08.640
was awakened or whatever sexually and knew
who she was and was like well,
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first she came the cold shoulder for
like two weeks, but one night we
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were supposed to go see Mohand drive
at school and I had seen it before
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and I knew I would not be
able to sit there through that movie and
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watch those women when I was feeling
this kind of way. So I was
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in the front row. The move
was about to start, I climb over
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people and like run out of the
theater. I was like I can't handle
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this, and I went and found
her and talked to her and in that
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conversation she helped me accept myself and
I realized that I could accept myself.
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Like the things that were holding me
up were like other people's thoughts or opinions
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that I feared, but they weren't
actually what I thought about myself, and
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that was huge moment. That's,
you know, the first step. I
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remember seeing this path like a fork
in the road, and one path was
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like the light and amazing future and
California and acceptance and love and all my
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friends, and the other path was
like if I keep these thoughts in my
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head of like Oh, this is
wrong, like I'm disgusting, I'm a
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monster, like the only end of
that path is suicide, and that's the
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path a lot of queer kids go
down because they don't have another option or
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they feel like they don't have that
other path. And I'll always remember that
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00:31:42.880 --> 00:31:48.200
feeling because that's where I was,
you know, I felt like I was
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at that fork in the road and
a lot of people struggle with that and
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I feel for that, I really
really do. And so I want to
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share my story and be honest and
and also share my love for the people
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that I love and the things and
the feelings that I love. Not Extends
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for Carol and Carol Support Group like
it comes from a deep place of like
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we have to express our love or
what's the point of living like or,
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you know, death right. Not
to be like the most dramatic. It
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was probably not the most eloquent way
to say it, but that's life like.
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If we're repressing who we are,
that's not living and a lot of
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people have to do that and I
understand why they have to do that for
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safety a lot of the time.
But yeah, that was part of my
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lowest low comes in that coming out
experience story, and this is really the
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first time I've shared that publicly outside
of film and Television. Alison had another
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big moment when she realized that people
like her, we're out there and doing
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amazing things. I went to a
camp, which is a camp that autostrattle
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puts on, which is a queer
female culture website, autoshattlecom, and that
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changed my world because up until that
point, I think two thousand and thirteen,
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I was like a sophomore in college. I think I hadn't really seen
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a community like that that was that
large. Like it was definitely queer people
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that I knew at school and,
you know, there was a little groups
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that school, but going and seeing
just queer women all hanging out at this
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camp in the woods and California,
like I remember walking through with like just
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stars in my eyes, like rose
color glasses and just, I'm sure my
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00:33:55.799 --> 00:34:01.319
jaw just like dropped because it was
like I had never felt this energy before
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and I had never been in a
space that felt, frankly, so at
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home before, and not that I
didn't feel at home in other places,
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but this is a specific kind of
feeling that Queer people understand when they are
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with their family in that way,
you know, and we have different types
386
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of family, but that is one
that I had. I didn't know that
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I had that family, and so
to like meet all of them and to
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feel that space, then I realized, okay, wow, this is a
389
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much bigger world than I realized and
I can be here. I am here.
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This is a part of me too. Thank you to autostrattle for the
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work you do. Patricia Highsmith,
thank you for writing the first lesbian novel
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that doesn't end in despair, in
the s no less. And of course,
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thank you, Todd Haynes, for
directing the one and only carol,
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whom Allison got to thank in person, and I just got to say I
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got to shake his hand and say
you're my hero. Carol changed my life.
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Thank you so much and I think
your genius. Can we take a
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Selfie? And the best part was
I could see the reaction on his face.
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He was like Oh, like he
really took my words to heart and
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like wasn't expecting me to call him
a hero, even though I feel like
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everyone there thought that he was,
and that really meant a lot to me.
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Like he wasn't jaded by saturation,
like I felt like he really felt
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felt me and was was receiving that. And we got a photo and it's
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all amazing and I was on cloud
nine afterwards. I was so jazzed I
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00:35:45.480 --> 00:35:49.840
felt like I was floating. Like
I understand now why people say pinch me
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when they have those moments because I
felt like numb and my body it's like
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where am I in diamond space,
and I had to go out dancing that
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night, so I met my friend
and we went some dancing to celebrate.
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00:36:00.280 --> 00:36:04.599
Everyone has that special thing, a
movie, a book, a play,
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a song, a painting, a
person that changes your life forever. For
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Allison and many queer women just like
her, it's Carol. I live for
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those full circle moments, the serendipities
when things come together that show you your
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path and that you're on your path, because, it's Carol said, everything
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00:36:25.440 --> 00:36:31.960
comes full circle. Link. Where
can everyone connect with you? On Social
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00:36:32.000 --> 00:36:38.719
Media? I'm on Instagram, twitter
and facebook at Alison Films, also m
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00:36:38.840 --> 00:36:45.199
films. You can watch Alison's short
film Carol Support Group in its entirety at
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Carol Support Groupcom pride is a production
of Straw hut media. If you like
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00:37:29.760 --> 00:37:32.079
the show, leave us a rating
and a review on Apple, podcast,
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00:37:32.199 --> 00:37:37.480
spotify or wherever you get your favorite
podcast. Share us with your friends,
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00:37:37.559 --> 00:37:40.840
subscribe and follow us on Instagram,
facebook and twitter at pride. You can
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00:37:40.880 --> 00:37:45.440
follow me at Lea by chambers.
Pride is produced by me, Maggie Bowls
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00:37:45.519 --> 00:38:10.000
and Ryan Tillotson, edited by Sebastian
Alcohola. So when Hella and thor does
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the to that, we all just
like the hair swoop into crown. You
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00:38:15.079 --> 00:38:22.320
destroy that Hammer. We just you're
like yeah, tell him, just destroy
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the world, just be fabulous,
just come over here, stomp on me.
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It's fine.
