Backstabbers: Admin Will Smile in Your Face and Save Themselves First

WEBVTT
1
00:00:54.039 --> 00:00:57.320
Ah, what's up, y'all? How you doing?
2
00:00:58.240 --> 00:01:02.000
Welcome back to Pretty First Chronicles, where Baby we set
3
00:01:02.079 --> 00:01:05.599
the tea, tell the truth, and still keep it.
4
00:01:05.680 --> 00:01:08.599
Cue today's episode.
5
00:01:08.599 --> 00:01:14.519
If you did not notice from the song, it's called backstabbers.
6
00:01:15.040 --> 00:01:19.000
Ad men will smile on your face and save themselves first,
7
00:01:19.319 --> 00:01:23.439
and Babby, listen, This one right here is for every
8
00:01:23.480 --> 00:01:29.599
single educator who has ever sat in a meeting smiling
9
00:01:29.680 --> 00:01:32.280
on the outside but screaming on the inside because you
10
00:01:32.359 --> 00:01:39.599
already knew the setup was setting up. Because let's be honest, y'all,
11
00:01:39.640 --> 00:01:42.959
somebody these administrators will compliment your bulletin board on Monday,
12
00:01:43.640 --> 00:01:47.040
use your lesson plan on Tuesday, throw you under the
13
00:01:47.079 --> 00:01:50.200
bus on Wednesday, and by Friday they act like they
14
00:01:50.239 --> 00:01:51.159
never knew your name.
15
00:01:51.920 --> 00:01:54.040
And that is what we're talking about today.
16
00:01:54.120 --> 00:01:59.920
So buckle up, get your favorite drink, and let's dive in.
17
00:02:22.039 --> 00:02:22.159
Now.
18
00:02:22.199 --> 00:02:25.280
Y'all know I love me a little jazz bounce, so
19
00:02:25.319 --> 00:02:27.560
I had to kind of reel it back to that.
20
00:02:28.240 --> 00:02:33.240
But let me be clear, not every administrator is bad. Okay,
21
00:02:33.879 --> 00:02:36.599
there are some really amazing leaders out there. There are
22
00:02:36.639 --> 00:02:42.599
some principles and assistant principles who genuinely support teachers they
23
00:02:42.639 --> 00:02:47.479
protect teachers, they advocate for teachers, and lead with integrity.
24
00:02:47.520 --> 00:02:49.719
But in this episode, Babe, we ain't talking about none
25
00:02:49.719 --> 00:02:52.159
of them. Okay, this episode is about the ones who
26
00:02:52.240 --> 00:02:54.919
smile in your face while building a file behind your back.
27
00:02:55.800 --> 00:02:59.960
You know, the ones who call you family until HR calls.
28
00:03:00.319 --> 00:03:04.240
The ones who say we support you, but baby, when
29
00:03:04.280 --> 00:03:07.800
trouble comes suddenly, they don't recall the conversation, eh I, okay.
30
00:03:08.120 --> 00:03:12.800
The ones who watched the chaos happen, ignored your concerns,
31
00:03:13.319 --> 00:03:18.080
dismiss your documentation, I eat text, messages, emails, and then
32
00:03:18.120 --> 00:03:19.240
when everything fell.
33
00:03:19.080 --> 00:03:22.199
Apart, they protected themselves first.
34
00:03:22.280 --> 00:03:24.479
So let's go ahead and start here, baby, because the
35
00:03:24.520 --> 00:03:27.439
smile is part of the strategy. One of the most
36
00:03:27.520 --> 00:03:32.000
dangerous things about toxic leadership is that it rarely introduces
37
00:03:32.120 --> 00:03:36.639
itself as toxic. It doesn't walk in wearing an ain't
38
00:03:36.680 --> 00:03:39.840
tag that says hi, I'm here to ruin your piece. No, baby,
39
00:03:40.159 --> 00:03:44.360
It smiles, It compliments you. It says we're so glad
40
00:03:44.400 --> 00:03:47.159
you're here. Oh my god, we're so glad you're back.
41
00:03:47.240 --> 00:03:49.520
It says you're doing a great job. It says let
42
00:03:49.520 --> 00:03:53.039
me know if you need anything, call me. But honey,
43
00:03:53.080 --> 00:03:57.759
the moment you actually need something cricket, the moment you
44
00:03:57.800 --> 00:04:02.159
report a concern, you're being negative. The moment you ask
45
00:04:02.280 --> 00:04:05.919
for support, Oh, you're not being a seen player. The
46
00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:09.240
moment you document what happens. Ooh, don't do that, because
47
00:04:09.240 --> 00:04:11.599
now you're the problem. And that is the part that
48
00:04:11.639 --> 00:04:15.879
messes with teachers mentally right, because teachers are trained to
49
00:04:16.000 --> 00:04:19.079
believe the baby. If we do our jobs, love our students,
50
00:04:19.160 --> 00:04:24.040
follow procedures, communicate with parents, document incidents, attends meetings, turn
51
00:04:24.079 --> 00:04:27.360
it and lesson plans, decorate the room, sponsor.
52
00:04:26.959 --> 00:04:30.240
The club, cover the class, stay late, arright early.
53
00:04:30.399 --> 00:04:34.079
And smele through exhaustion, then surely the people above us
54
00:04:34.079 --> 00:04:39.120
will present us right. But many teachers find out the
55
00:04:39.160 --> 00:04:43.480
hard way that your work ethic does not protect you
56
00:04:43.959 --> 00:04:50.480
from workplace politics. Your kindness does not protect you from betrayal.
57
00:04:51.040 --> 00:04:55.639
Your documentation does not always protect you from the lies
58
00:04:55.759 --> 00:04:59.000
what Candy say on Real Housewives of Atlanta, The lies,
59
00:04:59.199 --> 00:05:04.120
the lies and baby Look, your title is seacher. It
60
00:05:04.120 --> 00:05:07.399
doesn't protect you from being sacrificed when leadership needs to escapegoat.
61
00:05:07.519 --> 00:05:10.680
I ee a sacrificial lamb. Like I told you before.
62
00:05:11.279 --> 00:05:13.160
If you're wondering what I'm talking about. I need you
63
00:05:13.240 --> 00:05:17.120
to go ahead and go to my TikTok pretty prissy
64
00:05:17.279 --> 00:05:21.560
Liz Liz is ls and look at the last three
65
00:05:21.639 --> 00:05:25.560
videos that I did explaining exactly what I'm talking about. Right,
66
00:05:25.600 --> 00:05:28.920
But let's talk about the phrase we're a family, because
67
00:05:28.959 --> 00:05:30.959
maybe I've learned and sometimes when a job says we're
68
00:05:30.959 --> 00:05:34.120
a family, baby, honey, what they really mean is oof.
69
00:05:34.240 --> 00:05:37.199
We expect you to sacrifice with our boundaries. We expect
70
00:05:37.199 --> 00:05:42.000
loyalty without protection. We expect silence when things are wrong.
71
00:05:42.959 --> 00:05:44.480
Mm hm. We expect you.
72
00:05:44.399 --> 00:05:47.240
To forgive what we will fire you for because, honey,
73
00:05:47.240 --> 00:05:52.600
family language in the workplace can be very, very manipulative.
74
00:05:53.120 --> 00:05:55.839
A real family doesn't let one person drown while everybody
75
00:05:55.920 --> 00:05:58.480
else watches, and if they do, baby, you need to ruin.
76
00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:02.800
A real family doesn't ask you to cover dysfunction and
77
00:06:02.800 --> 00:06:06.720
then blame you when the dysfunction explodes. A real family
78
00:06:06.720 --> 00:06:09.279
doesn't smile at you in the whole way and secretly
79
00:06:09.319 --> 00:06:13.319
prepare paperwork against you. That ain't family. That's a setup
80
00:06:13.319 --> 00:06:15.879
with massing T shirts. The honey, we know exactly as
81
00:06:15.879 --> 00:06:20.240
teachers what I mean by that, right, Because schools love
82
00:06:20.600 --> 00:06:24.680
these cute little corny morale shirts. They love a spirit week,
83
00:06:24.959 --> 00:06:28.160
They love self care emails, They love donuts and the
84
00:06:28.240 --> 00:06:33.560
teacher's lounge. But when teachers say I am overwhelmed, honey,
85
00:06:34.000 --> 00:06:39.040
where's the care? When teachers say the student behavior is escalating?
86
00:06:39.360 --> 00:06:44.040
Where is the support? When teachers say I don't feel safe?
87
00:06:44.120 --> 00:06:48.680
Where's the sense of urgency? When teachers say I need help?
88
00:06:48.680 --> 00:06:50.120
Why does the room get quiet?
89
00:06:51.920 --> 00:06:54.800
You cannot gens day your way out of toxic leadership.
90
00:06:56.079 --> 00:06:58.800
You cannot teach your appreciation breakfast your way out of
91
00:06:58.839 --> 00:07:05.120
systemic disrespect. You cannot give someone a nasty little cupcake
92
00:07:06.399 --> 00:07:12.399
drys hell and call that support. Let's get into the park.
93
00:07:14.360 --> 00:07:19.360
Nobody likes to talk about. Sometimes the betrayal doesn't happen
94
00:07:19.439 --> 00:07:24.160
all at once. It's very gradual. First they stop responding
95
00:07:24.240 --> 00:07:28.600
to emails. Then they start having a quick conversation instead
96
00:07:28.600 --> 00:07:31.519
of putting things in writing. I'm gonna stop right there.
97
00:07:31.560 --> 00:07:35.279
Don't ever do that. It always documents everything right. They
98
00:07:35.319 --> 00:07:37.519
observe you at strange times. This has nothing to do
99
00:07:37.519 --> 00:07:40.000
with the Houston Independent School District because they maybe they
100
00:07:40.920 --> 00:07:45.079
they observe you up until the last day, literally, then
101
00:07:45.160 --> 00:07:49.040
they nitpick things they ignore before then they start acting
102
00:07:49.079 --> 00:07:52.879
confused about support that they promised right, They get amnesia,
103
00:07:52.920 --> 00:07:58.040
they don't remember right, and by the time you realize
104
00:07:58.120 --> 00:08:03.000
what's happening, you're not in a support plan, You're in
105
00:08:03.079 --> 00:08:06.600
a paper trail. That's why I tell educators document everything,
106
00:08:07.199 --> 00:08:10.079
not because you're paranoid, but because you're wise. You better
107
00:08:10.120 --> 00:08:15.040
send the follow up email, save the message, write down
108
00:08:15.120 --> 00:08:17.319
the date, keep copies.
109
00:08:17.519 --> 00:08:19.240
As a matter of fact, prints it.
110
00:08:20.160 --> 00:08:22.560
Because when people are trying to persect themselves, they will
111
00:08:22.600 --> 00:08:24.639
develop selective memory.
112
00:08:24.800 --> 00:08:27.279
All of a sudden, now we have amnesia.
113
00:08:27.360 --> 00:08:29.279
They'll forget what they said, they'll forget what they saw,
114
00:08:29.360 --> 00:08:32.879
they'll forget what you reported, they will forget the context,
115
00:08:33.279 --> 00:08:37.360
forget your tears, and they'll forget your exhaustion. But somehow
116
00:08:38.120 --> 00:08:42.279
they will remember every tiny thing that helps their version
117
00:08:42.320 --> 00:08:45.320
of the story. You better watch out, and that's why
118
00:08:45.360 --> 00:08:49.440
you cannot rely on verbal promises in a toxic workplace. Honey,
119
00:08:49.440 --> 00:08:56.440
a smile is not documentation. A hallway conversation is not documentation.
120
00:08:58.679 --> 00:09:03.720
Your good is not documentation. Put it in writing, right.
121
00:09:04.000 --> 00:09:05.039
Here's the painful truth.
122
00:09:05.080 --> 00:09:10.200
Though some administrators are not trying to solve problems.
123
00:09:10.240 --> 00:09:13.519
They're just trying to avoid liability. If you go back
124
00:09:13.559 --> 00:09:14.240
to my.
125
00:09:15.879 --> 00:09:19.759
If you go back to my TikTok and you watch
126
00:09:19.799 --> 00:09:22.360
the videos, and one of them I can't remember if
127
00:09:22.360 --> 00:09:25.120
it's I believe it's part two. When I was writing
128
00:09:25.159 --> 00:09:27.919
my statement from the incident from the foolish little boy
129
00:09:27.919 --> 00:09:33.320
who failed, when I saw him not too the assistant
130
00:09:33.360 --> 00:09:37.799
principal who is now the principal at Welch, decided to
131
00:09:38.000 --> 00:09:42.639
tell the head of custodial staff. He told him that
132
00:09:42.799 --> 00:09:45.399
he needs to call his boss to cover up the
133
00:09:45.440 --> 00:09:48.120
whole that I had saw him about eight days before,
134
00:09:49.759 --> 00:09:54.679
to avoid liability. They not really asking what really happens.
135
00:09:54.720 --> 00:09:56.519
They're asking, how do we make sure this doesn't fall
136
00:09:56.639 --> 00:10:00.440
on us? Right, And once you understand that, everything starts
137
00:10:00.480 --> 00:10:04.320
making sense. All of their cryptic little moves, cryptic statements
138
00:10:04.360 --> 00:10:05.279
start making sense.
139
00:10:05.440 --> 00:10:05.720
Right.
140
00:10:06.399 --> 00:10:08.840
Why they ignored your concern, why they minimize the incident,
141
00:10:08.840 --> 00:10:11.360
why they change the son after HR got involved, while
142
00:10:11.360 --> 00:10:15.000
they stopped being friendsly, why they acted like they barely
143
00:10:15.080 --> 00:10:19.039
knew you, doctor Everett. Because at the end of the day,
144
00:10:19.440 --> 00:10:22.600
some people will choose your position over your peace. They'll
145
00:10:22.679 --> 00:10:26.759
choose their title over the truth. But who understands and
146
00:10:26.840 --> 00:10:30.279
knows that your title won't last forever. They'll choose their
147
00:10:30.279 --> 00:10:32.279
paycheck over your protection. That's why you got to look
148
00:10:32.279 --> 00:10:36.399
out for yourself, right. They will choose their reputation over
149
00:10:36.600 --> 00:10:37.440
your reality.
150
00:10:37.519 --> 00:10:40.639
And that, of course hurts. It does, especially.
151
00:10:40.240 --> 00:10:42.240
When you gave so much, when you stay late, when
152
00:10:42.240 --> 00:10:44.159
you cried in your car and still walk into the
153
00:10:44.159 --> 00:10:46.519
regged ass building, when you love those kids, when you
154
00:10:46.559 --> 00:10:50.240
were doing the job with your whole heart. But let
155
00:10:50.240 --> 00:10:54.600
me say this, being betrayed doesn't mean you were foolish.
156
00:10:55.600 --> 00:10:57.200
It just means you were sincere in a space that
157
00:10:57.320 --> 00:11:00.960
wasn't safe, that you're a shamed to carry.
158
00:11:01.639 --> 00:11:01.879
Right.
159
00:11:02.519 --> 00:11:06.519
One thing toxic systems are good at its flipping the
160
00:11:06.600 --> 00:11:11.480
freaking script. You can report unsafe behavior and suddenly you
161
00:11:11.559 --> 00:11:17.519
lack classroom management. You ask for support, and suddenly you
162
00:11:17.559 --> 00:11:22.000
struggle with professionalism. You speak up about inconsistencies, and suddenly
163
00:11:22.000 --> 00:11:26.279
you don't take feedback well right, You ask why policies
164
00:11:26.320 --> 00:11:30.360
aren't being followed, and suddenly you're.
165
00:11:30.200 --> 00:11:31.000
Not a good fit.
166
00:11:31.679 --> 00:11:35.879
The phrase right there, not a good fit, honey. Sometimes
167
00:11:36.039 --> 00:11:38.559
not a good fit means you were just too honest.
168
00:11:39.440 --> 00:11:44.120
Sometimes it means you ask too many questions. Sometimes it
169
00:11:44.200 --> 00:11:47.720
means you refuse to be quiet. Keep doing it though.
170
00:11:48.200 --> 00:11:52.919
Sometimes it means they couldn't control your narrative. Sometimes it
171
00:11:52.960 --> 00:11:55.080
means you saw behind the curtain, and instead of fixing
172
00:11:55.120 --> 00:11:57.600
the problem, they try to remove the person who noticed it.
173
00:11:59.039 --> 00:12:01.200
That's why so many tea leave education.
174
00:12:01.679 --> 00:12:03.919
It's not because they stop loving the students, because to
175
00:12:04.000 --> 00:12:07.159
this day, every single child that I saw.
176
00:12:07.159 --> 00:12:08.480
Is my baby, right.
177
00:12:08.840 --> 00:12:10.960
But it's because they got tired of being abused by
178
00:12:11.000 --> 00:12:14.120
the adults, the kids who were not always the reason.
179
00:12:14.200 --> 00:12:15.159
I don't get it twisted.
180
00:12:15.559 --> 00:12:20.559
Okay, sometimes they be the reason, but not always right.
181
00:12:20.919 --> 00:12:24.600
The paperwork wasn't always the reason. The lesson plans were
182
00:12:24.639 --> 00:12:29.200
not always the reason. Sometimes many times it was them
183
00:12:29.240 --> 00:12:34.639
grown folks shiy the meetings, the bs gas lighting, the favoritism,
184
00:12:34.679 --> 00:12:37.360
the politics, the fake smiles, the oh we're here for
185
00:12:37.399 --> 00:12:40.960
you speeches that meant absolutely nothing when it mattered.
186
00:12:42.200 --> 00:12:43.720
Let's pause right there, because you know.
187
00:12:43.759 --> 00:12:49.240
The emotional cost betrayal at work does something to your spirit.
188
00:12:49.279 --> 00:12:54.120
You start replaying every single thing. Right, You ask yourselves,
189
00:12:54.159 --> 00:12:57.279
did I miss the suns? Ooh? Was that too trusting?
190
00:12:57.799 --> 00:13:01.360
Should I have spoken of sooner? Should I have say quiet?
191
00:13:02.200 --> 00:13:02.440
Oh?
192
00:13:02.720 --> 00:13:05.840
Why didn't they defend me, ch'all, why do they act
193
00:13:05.879 --> 00:13:06.559
like they cared?
194
00:13:06.600 --> 00:13:10.039
And let me tell you something. That mental replay will
195
00:13:10.120 --> 00:13:12.840
wear you out.
196
00:13:13.200 --> 00:13:16.879
So stop because betrayal doesn't just hurt your career. It
197
00:13:17.000 --> 00:13:20.039
hurts your confidence. It makes you question your discernment, It
198
00:13:20.080 --> 00:13:24.519
makes you question your gifts, it makes you question your calling.
199
00:13:25.480 --> 00:13:29.639
But I need somebody listening to understand this. You can
200
00:13:29.679 --> 00:13:33.840
be gifted and still be mistreated. M. You can be
201
00:13:33.960 --> 00:13:36.639
called and still be attacked.
202
00:13:37.840 --> 00:13:38.399
You can be.
203
00:13:38.600 --> 00:13:45.120
Absolutely excellent and still be targeted. You can be professional
204
00:13:45.840 --> 00:13:47.919
and still be lit on. And I'm not just talking
205
00:13:47.919 --> 00:13:53.360
about in the classroom. This goes for any job. Their betrayal, though,
206
00:13:53.519 --> 00:13:56.279
is not proof that you failed. It's just proof that
207
00:13:56.320 --> 00:14:02.240
they lacked integrity. Now, y'all know we cannot have this
208
00:14:02.360 --> 00:14:06.080
conversation without bringing God into it. Honestly, I don't even
209
00:14:06.080 --> 00:14:08.279
have to bring God into it because he's everywhere right.
210
00:14:08.320 --> 00:14:13.320
But sometimes God will allow people to reveal themselves so
211
00:14:13.639 --> 00:14:18.759
you stop giving them access to you. M.
212
00:14:21.039 --> 00:14:26.440
The betrayal was, of course painful, but it was also exposure.
213
00:14:27.080 --> 00:14:31.679
God showed you who will protect you, he showed you
214
00:14:31.759 --> 00:14:36.000
who would abandon you. He showed you who was clapping
215
00:14:36.039 --> 00:14:41.279
for you. In public, but questioning you in private, God
216
00:14:41.320 --> 00:14:44.600
showed you that the room wasn't as safe as you thought.
217
00:14:44.639 --> 00:14:48.639
And yeah, of course it hurt, but it also freed you.
218
00:14:48.679 --> 00:14:53.279
Because some doors they don't close gently right. Some doors slam,
219
00:14:53.399 --> 00:14:56.159
Some doors embarrass you, some doors break your heart. Some
220
00:14:56.240 --> 00:15:00.039
doors make you cry. But later you realize that that
221
00:15:00.120 --> 00:15:04.840
door wasn't rejection, It was a rescue. God wasn't punishing you.
222
00:15:04.919 --> 00:15:06.360
He was just pulling you out of a place that
223
00:15:06.440 --> 00:15:08.840
was draining the life out of you. And sometimes the
224
00:15:09.000 --> 00:15:13.759
very people who tried to bury you end up pushing
225
00:15:13.799 --> 00:15:15.000
you right into your purpose.
226
00:15:15.440 --> 00:15:18.120
M let's get practical.
227
00:15:20.039 --> 00:15:25.320
Here are some signs that your leadership or ad men
228
00:15:25.840 --> 00:15:28.120
may not be as supportive as they pretend, so you
229
00:15:28.200 --> 00:15:30.519
might want to get that good adjournal out and start
230
00:15:30.559 --> 00:15:31.159
writing is down.
231
00:15:31.240 --> 00:15:34.759
Number one. They avoid putting things in writing.
232
00:15:35.720 --> 00:15:40.879
I have never experienced this, However, I definitely know some
233
00:15:40.960 --> 00:15:43.519
people who have gone through this because they will talk
234
00:15:43.600 --> 00:15:45.879
all day in person, but when you send a follow
235
00:15:45.919 --> 00:15:50.519
up email they get hella quiet right. Number two, they
236
00:15:50.679 --> 00:15:54.320
change the story depending on who was in the room. Oh, honey,
237
00:15:54.360 --> 00:15:57.200
with you, they'll be warm, nice, kind, all the things right,
238
00:15:57.399 --> 00:16:01.200
But what they tried their formal with the district.
239
00:16:01.279 --> 00:16:03.000
They are very innocent.
240
00:16:04.600 --> 00:16:10.000
Number three, they blame teachers for problems they refused to address.
241
00:16:11.320 --> 00:16:16.559
You reported it, you asked for help, You followed the
242
00:16:16.639 --> 00:16:19.480
chain of command. But when things escalated, Oh, they act
243
00:16:19.600 --> 00:16:26.159
it shocked like you had never told them before. Number four,
244
00:16:26.320 --> 00:16:29.159
they use supports, and I put that in quotation marks
245
00:16:29.639 --> 00:16:34.799
as surveillance. Every meeting is framed as help, but somehow
246
00:16:34.840 --> 00:16:39.240
it always becomes evidence. You better see why a coveyos.
247
00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:46.480
Number five, they praise you until they need to protect themselves.
248
00:16:47.639 --> 00:16:51.200
The same person who called you amazing, that's why I
249
00:16:51.279 --> 00:16:54.360
hired her, will suddenly say you were struggling all along.
250
00:16:56.440 --> 00:16:59.080
That's why you can't be addicted to workplace validation, because
251
00:16:59.120 --> 00:17:03.919
the same mouth that praises you will most definitely betray you.
252
00:17:04.319 --> 00:17:07.759
Now I'm not saying walk around paranoid. I refuse to
253
00:17:07.880 --> 00:17:11.160
tell you that. But what I am saying is always
254
00:17:11.240 --> 00:17:14.400
walk around prepared. Stop assuming that everybody would a title
255
00:17:14.440 --> 00:17:16.680
has carried, because maybe they don't. I was talking to
256
00:17:16.720 --> 00:17:19.839
somebody the other day, one of my church members, and
257
00:17:19.880 --> 00:17:22.640
they they most definitively said with a hi is d
258
00:17:23.839 --> 00:17:27.440
if you're moving up it doesn't mean that you're great.
259
00:17:27.519 --> 00:17:29.559
It just means that you lack character and in secrety.
260
00:17:29.640 --> 00:17:34.160
It's a fail. So stop astuman. Kindness equals loyalty. Stop
261
00:17:34.160 --> 00:17:37.240
as suman. A smile means safety because they don't. Stop
262
00:17:37.240 --> 00:17:39.519
as wuman. Because you're doing right, people will do right
263
00:17:39.559 --> 00:17:42.359
by you because they won't. Here's what you do though
264
00:17:42.440 --> 00:17:46.000
you document, follow up, save copies I sold. You don't
265
00:17:46.119 --> 00:17:49.559
just save them, you better print them. No policy, and
266
00:17:49.680 --> 00:17:53.440
if you are a teacher, you better join your union
267
00:17:53.559 --> 00:17:58.720
because if you have not, what are you doing? Ask questions,
268
00:17:58.880 --> 00:18:05.119
protect your peace, and most importantly, stop ignoring yo good.
269
00:18:07.000 --> 00:18:11.559
Your spirit will tell you when something is off, that
270
00:18:11.720 --> 00:18:14.160
uneasy feeling after a meeting, you better pay attention.
271
00:18:15.720 --> 00:18:18.680
You notice a change in their tongue. Pay attention.
272
00:18:19.960 --> 00:18:26.519
That's sudden increase in observations. Pay attention, not hiz d
273
00:18:26.599 --> 00:18:30.839
tho everybody else. That quick chat that feels like a
274
00:18:30.880 --> 00:18:35.000
warning hm, pay attention, babe, because the sermon is not drama.
275
00:18:35.559 --> 00:18:39.759
It's protection. So to the teacher who is listening right
276
00:18:39.839 --> 00:18:44.200
now and feels like ad men smiling your face while
277
00:18:44.240 --> 00:18:46.799
setting you up, I want to talk directly to you, boo,
278
00:18:47.039 --> 00:18:50.920
because you're not crazy. You're not weak, you're not imagining it.
279
00:18:51.000 --> 00:18:54.680
You're not quote unquote too sensitive. You were placed in
280
00:18:54.720 --> 00:18:58.599
a situation where the people who should have supported you
281
00:18:59.519 --> 00:19:03.440
show self preservation instead, And honey, I'm sorry that happened.
282
00:19:03.559 --> 00:19:06.799
Trust me, I know how it feels. I'm sorry they
283
00:19:06.799 --> 00:19:10.119
make you feel disposable. I'm sorry they let you carry
284
00:19:10.119 --> 00:19:13.759
the weights alone. I'm sorry they watched you struggle and
285
00:19:13.799 --> 00:19:17.039
then judged how you survived. But hear me, clearly, you're
286
00:19:17.079 --> 00:19:21.839
still valuable, You're still intelligent, you're still gifted, You're so worthy,
287
00:19:21.880 --> 00:19:26.200
and your story does not end with their version of events.
288
00:19:26.200 --> 00:19:29.519
I keep telling y'all my favorite scripture is Jeremied twenty
289
00:19:29.599 --> 00:19:32.359
nine to eleven. For I know the plans I have
290
00:19:32.519 --> 00:19:36.400
for you, declares the Lord, nobody else. Those plans are
291
00:19:36.400 --> 00:19:38.799
to prosper you, not to harm you. Those plans are
292
00:19:38.839 --> 00:19:43.039
to give you a hope and a future. They may
293
00:19:43.079 --> 00:19:45.319
have controlled the meeting, they may have controlled the paperwork,
294
00:19:45.359 --> 00:19:48.599
they may have controlled the narrative for a season, but
295
00:19:48.680 --> 00:19:52.920
they don't control your purpose. One thing about being betrayed
296
00:19:53.759 --> 00:19:58.119
is it most definitely will teach you. It'll teach you
297
00:19:58.160 --> 00:19:59.799
who to trust. It will teach you how to move,
298
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:03.359
will teach you how to stop over explaining yourself to
299
00:20:03.400 --> 00:20:07.279
people committed to misunderstanding you right. It'll teach you that
300
00:20:07.440 --> 00:20:13.759
peace is expensive, but it's worth it. It'll teach you
301
00:20:13.799 --> 00:20:19.359
that every environment doesn't deserve your excellence and babist. Sometimes
302
00:20:20.519 --> 00:20:23.759
the comeback isn't going back and proving them wrong. Sometimes
303
00:20:23.799 --> 00:20:28.599
the comeback is leaving and never shrinking again. Sometimes the
304
00:20:28.640 --> 00:20:33.920
comeback is starting the business, writing the book, launching the podcast,
305
00:20:34.240 --> 00:20:39.359
building your brands, applying for the opportunity, telling the truth,
306
00:20:40.279 --> 00:20:45.480
choosing yourself, healing out loud, and refusing to let one
307
00:20:46.119 --> 00:20:48.519
toxic chapter define the whole story.
308
00:20:48.519 --> 00:20:51.039
What's the saying You never judge a book by its cover.
309
00:20:52.519 --> 00:20:56.200
The cover means nothing right, one crazy chapter doesn't mean
310
00:20:56.240 --> 00:21:05.119
that's the ends of the entire books. They thought they
311
00:21:05.160 --> 00:21:08.079
were ending you, but they were introducing you to the
312
00:21:08.119 --> 00:21:11.200
next version of yourself.
313
00:21:11.960 --> 00:21:13.519
So here's the final word for today.
314
00:21:14.440 --> 00:21:16.519
Be careful with people who only support you when it
315
00:21:16.599 --> 00:21:21.839
costs them nothing. Be careful with leaders who love loyalty
316
00:21:21.960 --> 00:21:27.680
but lack accountability. Be careful with workplaces they call you
317
00:21:27.759 --> 00:21:28.759
family but treat.
318
00:21:28.559 --> 00:21:30.319
You like liability.
319
00:21:31.039 --> 00:21:33.720
And be careful with anyone who smiles while holds in
320
00:21:33.839 --> 00:21:38.039
a nice behind their bag because baby backstay.
321
00:21:38.119 --> 00:21:39.599
But don't always look like enemies.
322
00:21:39.599 --> 00:21:44.559
Sometimes they look like administrators, principles aps, they look like mentors,
323
00:21:44.559 --> 00:21:46.960
they look like support. Sometimes they look like the person
324
00:21:47.279 --> 00:21:50.720
who said I got you. But baby, God sees and
325
00:21:50.839 --> 00:21:54.200
knows and restores. So to every teacher, whether you're a
326
00:21:54.240 --> 00:21:59.200
former teacher or current, every educator, pair of professional counselor
327
00:21:59.319 --> 00:22:02.960
or school employer who has been betrayed by leadership, you
328
00:22:03.599 --> 00:22:07.759
survived what was meant to silence you. Now go tell
329
00:22:07.799 --> 00:22:14.640
your truth, heal rebeals, and remember just because they save
330
00:22:14.720 --> 00:22:20.119
themselves first doesn't mean that God forgot about you. As always,
331
00:22:20.160 --> 00:22:24.839
this has been pretty pretty Chronicles. I'm your host, Elizabeth
332
00:22:24.880 --> 00:22:28.279
in Nu Malay, where the tea is strong. Here the
333
00:22:28.319 --> 00:22:34.559
truth is stronger, and the pearls are always clutchable until
334
00:22:34.599 --> 00:22:40.720
next time. Pertect your peace, document everything, and nevah let
335
00:22:40.720 --> 00:22:44.240
a fake smile make you ignore a real red flag.
336
00:22:45.319 --> 00:22:47.960
If this episode spoke to you, I want you to
337
00:22:48.000 --> 00:22:51.279
share it with an educator who needs confirmation that they're
338
00:22:51.319 --> 00:22:56.240
not crazy. Leave a review, most definitely send in your story.
339
00:22:56.599 --> 00:22:59.799
You can do that by emailing Pretty Pressy Chronicles at
340
00:23:00.079 --> 00:23:04.920
gmail dot com. And remember, we're not better, We're better,
341
00:23:05.640 --> 00:23:09.799
wiser and fully aware. Until next week, y'all, I love you.
342
00:23:09.920 --> 00:23:11.759
It's nothing you can do about it.
343
00:23:12.400 --> 00:23:20.880
Bye.