Facing Care Decisions? This Listener’s Dilemma Might Be Yours

WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en
00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:02.550
Margarite, we have a plan fan question
00:00:02.560 --> 00:00:05.749
for you. Thank you for submitting. Hi
00:00:05.759 --> 00:00:07.829
Margarita and Ron. I currently live
00:00:07.839 --> 00:00:10.629
independently, but daily task and chores
00:00:10.639 --> 00:00:12.629
have become difficult ever since a
00:00:12.639 --> 00:00:15.270
skiing accident shattered my pelvis and
00:00:15.280 --> 00:00:18.310
left femur.
00:00:18.320 --> 00:00:20.390
>> I know I need to either move into a
00:00:20.400 --> 00:00:23.189
facility or hire a caregiver, but I
00:00:23.199 --> 00:00:25.750
don't know where to start. How do I find
00:00:25.760 --> 00:00:28.310
a trustworthy help?
00:00:28.320 --> 00:00:32.549
Such a good question. Um, well, one, if
00:00:32.559 --> 00:00:34.389
you're the listener that I'm speaking to
00:00:34.399 --> 00:00:36.229
right now about this, please, please
00:00:36.239 --> 00:00:37.750
make sure your estate plan is up to
00:00:37.760 --> 00:00:39.830
date. Call your estate planning
00:00:39.840 --> 00:00:41.830
attorney, update your documents because
00:00:41.840 --> 00:00:44.069
your life has changed, your body has
00:00:44.079 --> 00:00:45.750
changed in a significant way, and I
00:00:45.760 --> 00:00:48.069
really hope your healing is complete.
00:00:48.079 --> 00:00:50.790
Uh, in the meantime, I would start
00:00:50.800 --> 00:00:52.470
either by calling the estate planning
00:00:52.480 --> 00:00:54.549
attorney to see if they have a referral
00:00:54.559 --> 00:00:57.910
for a care manager, a certified care
00:00:57.920 --> 00:00:59.990
manager, someone through the Aging Life
00:01:00.000 --> 00:01:02.709
Care Association is going to be someone
00:01:02.719 --> 00:01:08.149
who has uh training and resources and
00:01:08.159 --> 00:01:10.710
can help you budget the care that you
00:01:10.720 --> 00:01:12.469
need. For instance, this person might
00:01:12.479 --> 00:01:13.910
not need assistance in the middle of the
00:01:13.920 --> 00:01:16.230
night. Maybe they do, but they may only
00:01:16.240 --> 00:01:18.630
need a caregiver for a few hours a day.
00:01:18.640 --> 00:01:20.149
Maybe someone to help with laundry and
00:01:20.159 --> 00:01:23.190
housekeeping and so on. But you also
00:01:23.200 --> 00:01:24.950
want to be sure that person has been
00:01:24.960 --> 00:01:28.230
background checked, is supervised, is
00:01:28.240 --> 00:01:31.030
honest, right? We want all those things.
00:01:31.040 --> 00:01:32.870
And you could contact a local care
00:01:32.880 --> 00:01:35.190
agency, but you don't know what their
00:01:35.200 --> 00:01:36.710
work is like, and you don't know who
00:01:36.720 --> 00:01:39.510
they are. I mean just care I just it's
00:01:39.520 --> 00:01:41.830
very important that we distinguish care
00:01:41.840 --> 00:01:44.870
manager versus caregiver.
00:01:44.880 --> 00:01:47.830
>> Right. Right. So a care manager is not
00:01:47.840 --> 00:01:50.069
going to be the person that bathes your
00:01:50.079 --> 00:01:52.550
body or cooks your meal. That's going to
00:01:52.560 --> 00:01:55.429
be the person who is responsible for the
00:01:55.439 --> 00:01:56.789
people that come in and out of your
00:01:56.799 --> 00:01:58.950
house. They're going to be the ones who
00:01:58.960 --> 00:02:00.630
help prepare you for what that looks
00:02:00.640 --> 00:02:02.469
like. They're also going to do an
00:02:02.479 --> 00:02:04.469
assessment. So the care manager is going
00:02:04.479 --> 00:02:07.030
to do an assessment of your home, the
00:02:07.040 --> 00:02:09.109
safety of your home, the medications
00:02:09.119 --> 00:02:11.589
that you're taking, the equipment that
00:02:11.599 --> 00:02:13.830
you have. So let me give you an example
00:02:13.840 --> 00:02:15.990
to help understand the, you know, the
00:02:16.000 --> 00:02:18.630
differences, right? So I was working
00:02:18.640 --> 00:02:20.949
with a client who'd fallen down in their
00:02:20.959 --> 00:02:25.030
home and broke a hip and was at rehab.
00:02:25.040 --> 00:02:26.790
So they're at skilled nursing and
00:02:26.800 --> 00:02:28.710
they're getting better and stronger and
00:02:28.720 --> 00:02:31.110
learning to walk again. Basically, in
00:02:31.120 --> 00:02:34.070
the meantime, the care manager and I the
00:02:34.080 --> 00:02:36.150
care manager went to go visit the client
00:02:36.160 --> 00:02:38.790
at skilled nursing came back. We're at
00:02:38.800 --> 00:02:40.790
the home. The care manager and I are
00:02:40.800 --> 00:02:42.070
trying to figure out where the hospital
00:02:42.080 --> 00:02:43.990
bed goes because this person was anxious
00:02:44.000 --> 00:02:46.070
to come home. Does it go in the bedroom?
00:02:46.080 --> 00:02:47.350
Well, if it goes in the bedroom, we have
00:02:47.360 --> 00:02:49.830
to move the bed out. Oh, the living room
00:02:49.840 --> 00:02:52.070
furniture is a lot easier to move. We're
00:02:52.080 --> 00:02:53.750
going to start with the hospital bed in
00:02:53.760 --> 00:02:55.910
the living room and then get started,
00:02:55.920 --> 00:02:58.229
right, to get this person home. Once
00:02:58.239 --> 00:03:01.110
this person's home, they need physical
00:03:01.120 --> 00:03:03.910
help to get out of the hospital bed to
00:03:03.920 --> 00:03:06.630
the toilet and back again as an example.
00:03:06.640 --> 00:03:08.550
So that's what the caregivers's job will
00:03:08.560 --> 00:03:11.430
be. The care manager wants to have the
00:03:11.440 --> 00:03:14.070
right kind of caregiver for this person.
00:03:14.080 --> 00:03:17.110
We have an orary person
00:03:17.120 --> 00:03:19.430
who wants to be in her own house and
00:03:19.440 --> 00:03:21.110
she's in pain and she gets to have it
00:03:21.120 --> 00:03:24.229
the way she wants it. So once we brought
00:03:24.239 --> 00:03:27.350
back that client to her home, we already
00:03:27.360 --> 00:03:29.830
had the bed ready. We had a caregiver in
00:03:29.840 --> 00:03:31.670
place. We had the house clean. We had
00:03:31.680 --> 00:03:33.589
the kitchen ready to go. We had
00:03:33.599 --> 00:03:35.270
groceries. We'd already placed an order.
00:03:35.280 --> 00:03:36.869
So the care manager is the one who's
00:03:36.879 --> 00:03:39.830
doing the logistics for the home. I'm
00:03:39.840 --> 00:03:42.550
the trustee. I'm managing tax, legal,
00:03:42.560 --> 00:03:44.550
financial, and medical stuff from over
00:03:44.560 --> 00:03:47.110
here. And so we coordinated and we work
00:03:47.120 --> 00:03:49.270
as a team. It was more cost-effective
00:03:49.280 --> 00:03:52.949
than having me do everything. And it was
00:03:52.959 --> 00:03:55.110
better because the client felt like they
00:03:55.120 --> 00:03:58.869
had real care and freedom and they this
00:03:58.879 --> 00:04:00.470
particular client did not like the first
00:04:00.480 --> 00:04:02.869
caregiver. She talked too much. She
00:04:02.879 --> 00:04:06.149
said, "Okay, so the care manager
00:04:06.159 --> 00:04:07.990
contacts the caregiving agency. They
00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:09.350
didn't have a replacement. She knows
00:04:09.360 --> 00:04:11.030
another caregiving agency that had the
00:04:11.040 --> 00:04:11.509
right person."
00:04:11.519 --> 00:04:13.190
>> So there's an independence between the
00:04:13.200 --> 00:04:16.390
care manager and the caregiver agency.
00:04:16.400 --> 00:04:18.150
>> Yes. It's my preference to work with a
00:04:18.160 --> 00:04:19.509
care manager who's completely
00:04:19.519 --> 00:04:21.749
independent and that way she can work
00:04:21.759 --> 00:04:24.390
with one or several care agencies to
00:04:24.400 --> 00:04:26.950
place the right person bedside.
00:04:26.960 --> 00:04:29.670
>> Yeah. Also, I mean, we we'll do a whole
00:04:29.680 --> 00:04:32.550
episode on care manager and have a guest
00:04:32.560 --> 00:04:34.310
with care managers. I think that's very
00:04:34.320 --> 00:04:36.629
important because their role,
00:04:36.639 --> 00:04:39.990
>> this is where so many people resist that
00:04:40.000 --> 00:04:41.830
type of help. It I say it's just like
00:04:41.840 --> 00:04:43.909
getting a checkup on your car. Why would
00:04:43.919 --> 00:04:46.710
you not want to get an assessment of
00:04:46.720 --> 00:04:48.710
your drug interactions? Somebody who
00:04:48.720 --> 00:04:50.310
could go with you to the doctor to
00:04:50.320 --> 00:04:52.950
actually ask questions of the physician
00:04:52.960 --> 00:04:55.590
or the nursing people there because your
00:04:55.600 --> 00:04:57.670
your daughter, your wife, your husband
00:04:57.680 --> 00:04:59.270
don't aren't physicians. They don't know
00:04:59.280 --> 00:05:01.270
the questions to ask. I'm such a big
00:05:01.280 --> 00:05:04.870
proponent of care manager. Well, I also
00:05:04.880 --> 00:05:07.270
want to say that if you're afraid of
00:05:07.280 --> 00:05:09.029
losing your license or not being able to
00:05:09.039 --> 00:05:11.350
drive anymore, a care manager can also
00:05:11.360 --> 00:05:13.189
help you retain your license because
00:05:13.199 --> 00:05:15.510
maybe you need driving training. Maybe
00:05:15.520 --> 00:05:18.070
you need to reassess your skills and
00:05:18.080 --> 00:05:20.390
your timing and your flexibility and
00:05:20.400 --> 00:05:22.469
your ability to deal with an emergency,
00:05:22.479 --> 00:05:26.390
right? So I build a team whenever I have
00:05:26.400 --> 00:05:29.029
a client and whenever I have a new trust
00:05:29.039 --> 00:05:31.590
and that team has everything to do with
00:05:31.600 --> 00:05:34.310
the individual for whom I'm serving,
00:05:34.320 --> 00:05:37.110
right? And also that individual's
00:05:37.120 --> 00:05:38.629
cooperation.
00:05:38.639 --> 00:05:41.189
It's it's not so easy to let people in.
00:05:41.199 --> 00:05:43.510
But I have an idea for you and that is
00:05:43.520 --> 00:05:45.270
that if you think you're ever going to
00:05:45.280 --> 00:05:48.310
need a caregiver to be in your home,
00:05:48.320 --> 00:05:51.029
call a local caregiving agency and hire
00:05:51.039 --> 00:05:53.830
one for just four hours. just one person
00:05:53.840 --> 00:05:56.070
for just four hours. Just see what it's
00:05:56.080 --> 00:06:00.070
like. And I would say go to the store.
00:06:00.080 --> 00:06:01.350
You're going to sit in the backseat of
00:06:01.360 --> 00:06:03.990
the car. You're going to go into the
00:06:04.000 --> 00:06:06.070
store. You're going to let the caregiver
00:06:06.080 --> 00:06:07.990
push the cart. You're going to point at
00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:09.909
things that you'd like to have. The
00:06:09.919 --> 00:06:11.830
caregiver is going to physically do the
00:06:11.840 --> 00:06:13.590
work, right? Putting the groceries in
00:06:13.600 --> 00:06:16.070
the basket. You get up to the cashier.
00:06:16.080 --> 00:06:18.230
You're the one paying for the groceries.
00:06:18.240 --> 00:06:20.629
But loading them into the car, getting
00:06:20.639 --> 00:06:22.950
home, loading them out of the car,
00:06:22.960 --> 00:06:25.270
putting them away in the kitchen, it's
00:06:25.280 --> 00:06:28.070
quite an exercise. But once you do it,
00:06:28.080 --> 00:06:31.430
you realize you are the CEO of your
00:06:31.440 --> 00:06:33.909
life. And if you want your life to
00:06:33.919 --> 00:06:36.230
continue on your terms, you're going to
00:06:36.240 --> 00:06:39.670
figure out how to have help, have real
00:06:39.680 --> 00:06:42.469
help. And for this poor individual
00:06:42.479 --> 00:06:45.110
>> with a oh my gosh, a shattered pelvis
00:06:45.120 --> 00:06:46.790
and left femur.
00:06:46.800 --> 00:06:48.790
>> Yes. In fact, the discharge planner,
00:06:48.800 --> 00:06:50.150
nobody should have let you leave the
00:06:50.160 --> 00:06:53.110
hospital without having a plan for how
00:06:53.120 --> 00:06:54.790
you were going to be cared for for the
00:06:54.800 --> 00:06:57.110
first several weeks of your healing. In
00:06:57.120 --> 00:06:58.469
fact, you probably shouldn't have left
00:06:58.479 --> 00:07:01.110
the hospital without going to skilled
00:07:01.120 --> 00:07:03.909
nursing for a while because walking
00:07:03.919 --> 00:07:05.830
again is imperative. It's really
00:07:05.840 --> 00:07:07.749
important that you're able to do that.
00:07:07.759 --> 00:07:10.469
So, caremanager.org
00:07:10.479 --> 00:07:13.270
is where to find a care manager. Uh,
00:07:13.280 --> 00:07:15.270
we'll have that on our sources page on
00:07:15.280 --> 00:07:17.749
our website, planforth.com.
00:07:17.759 --> 00:07:20.469
And I do recommend that you think about
00:07:20.479 --> 00:07:22.070
what it would look like to have somebody
00:07:22.080 --> 00:07:23.909
else actually do your laundry, have
00:07:23.919 --> 00:07:26.550
somebody else actually clean your house.
00:07:26.560 --> 00:07:29.589
It's a stretch. But then you get to
00:07:29.599 --> 00:07:31.749
decide, is staying in your own home with
00:07:31.759 --> 00:07:33.589
your bedroom on the second floor really
00:07:33.599 --> 00:07:36.309
the right thing to do, or would moving
00:07:36.319 --> 00:07:38.390
to where the care is be better? I mean,
00:07:38.400 --> 00:07:40.150
maybe this person really would be better
00:07:40.160 --> 00:07:42.710
off living at an assisted living
00:07:42.720 --> 00:07:44.309
residence for a period of time while
00:07:44.319 --> 00:07:45.749
they get better.
00:07:45.759 --> 00:07:47.270
>> Thank you for your question. Great
00:07:47.280 --> 00:07:49.029
question. We appreciate your input. Make
00:07:49.039 --> 00:07:50.950
sure you subscribe and go to
00:07:50.960 --> 00:07:53.430
planforth.com. Thank you.
00:07:53.440 --> 00:07:56.629
>> Thanks.
00:07:56.639 --> 00:08:01.670
>> Money management and legacy.
00:08:01.680 --> 00:08:07.120
Will you be ready for life decree?