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“We don't see a lot of examples of trans people thriving. We see a lot of experiences of trans people having hardship, constantly having to explain themselves and having to justify their existence. We’re not seeing enough examples of trans people just growing up and being a bit boring… having a dog, a life and hobbies.”
Encouraging people to look beyond the headlines when it comes to Trans+ folk is something I’m passionate about so it was a real privilege to chat to Octavian Starr (he/him) during this week’s episode of ‘Pause. And Rewind…’. Octavian is a highly experienced leader in diversity and inclusion, the Founder and Director of Unboxd, and has led numerous trans-centred, LGBTQ+ and intersectional initiatives in EDI training and consultancy.
Octavian’s background includes positions in community arts, social justice, and advocacy for the LGBTIQ+ community. His work with trans youth, shaped by his own experiences, has recently seen him take on ‘Trans Secret Santa’ -a community-led project sponsored by the Trans+ Solidarity Alliance - which is super wholesome and brings joy to young trans people under 25 with messages of community support and gifts for the holiday season.
Little Octavian grew up in Colorado in a military family and he had a very vivid imagination and exhibited autistic behaviours. He has a positive experience of being himself - he played saxophone, competed in marching band competitions & loved getting lost in music. Octavian struggled to make friends and reflecting on this, he felt other kids spoke ‘a hidden language I couldn’t speak’.
His family have always been largely supportive. He recounts both of his coming out stories - firstly as a lesbian, later as trans - and despite a few bumps along the way, his mother & grandparents accepted him. “Are you happy? Are you healthy?”, his grandad would ask and as long as the answer was yes, that was fine by him.
Octavian’s activism started very young with his mom driving him to LGBTQ+ youth groups. Career wise, he wanted to be ‘all the things’ (which I relate to) including a primate psychologist having been inspired by Jane Goodall. With a burning desire to help people, he’s held many roles and his journey into inclusion was a slow burner as a result of his degree placements.
Octavian talks a lot about navigating boundaries in relationships as well as loss & accountability, his recent move to the coast which feels like living in a postcard, his chihuahua Reggie and why we should embrace the intense need for change. This really is a great listen!
Stay up to date with Trans Secret Santa and Trans Solidarity Alliance right here.
PLEASE NOTE | This conversation covers sensitive topics including mental health, suicide & loss, coming out & the current landscape for Trans+ people. Take care of yourself whilst listening.
