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You’re trying so hard to repair what’s been broken, to rebuild trust, and feel close again with your teen or young adult. So when they pull away, it can feel almost impossible to not try harder.
But what if trying harder to reconnect is actually making this very connection harder?
In this episode, Seth and I have a very honest conversation about rebuilding connection with your struggling teen or young adult, and how difficult it can be to practice what we teach when the person we love is the one who’s struggling.
Seth shares what it’s like to support a struggling family member and realize that, despite knowing all the “right” things to do, there are moments when there is simply nothing more within your control. We talk about the guilt that can come with that realization, the urge to fix things, and the painful truth that you can care deeply about someone without being responsible for their choices.
I also share a recent experience with my own son. After a difficult conflict, I found myself wanting to reach out, talk things through, and repair the relationship. But underneath my attempts to connect was something I didn’t initially recognize: anxiety. I had an agenda. I wanted him to open up, reconnect, and let me know what he was feeling.
Once I realized that, I was able to slow down, let go of what I thought should happen, and simply be present with him.
And something surprising happened: when I stopped pushing for connection, he began moving toward it himself.
Rebuilding connection with your struggling teen doesn’t necessarily mean finding the perfect words or having the perfect conversation. Sometimes, it means creating enough safety for your teen to come toward you in their own time and in their own way.
In this episode on rebuilding connection with your struggling teen or young adult, we discuss:
- Why trying harder to connect can sometimes create more distance
- The difference between offering connection and trying to make someone connect with you
- How guilt can make you feel responsible for another person’s choices
- What it really means to “hold space” for your teen or young adult
- Why safety requires letting go of judgment and your agenda
- How your energy, tone, and way of being can affect connection
- Why slowing down can be more helpful than pushing for a conversation
- How connection can look different for you and your child
- Recognizing the small ways your teen may already be reaching for connection
- Why accepting what your teen or young adult is able to give right now can help rebuild trust and connection
- The importance of noticing your own patterns and emotional reactions
- Why rebuilding connection takes time, practice, and plenty of imperfect moments
Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com
You can support the show by:
→ Sharing it with another parent!
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
🍁 Small GROUP COACHING program starting October 6th & 7th, 2026 🍁
How to Influence Change: Small-group program for parents of struggling teens & young adults.
Sign up or learn more over at www.bethhillmancoaching.com/groups
I hope to see you there!
