S01 EP64: Sindhu Vee

WEBVTT
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Hello, I'm Josh Whitacombe.
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And I'm Rob Beckett.
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Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob
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and I discuss what it's like to be a parent
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during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky.
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Yeah!
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Yeah!
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So, in an effort to make some kind of sense
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of the current situation... And to.
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Make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills.
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Each episode we'll be chatting to a famous parent about
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how well they're coping.
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Or hopefully not.
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And we will be hearing from you, the listener, with
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your tales of lockdown parenting woe.
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Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing.
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Hello and welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell with... Rob Beckett.
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Just say it, Daddy. And you say, Josh Widdicombe.
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Just say it for me.
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There you go. Didn't want to say it. That's Joseph,
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two and a half, asking his parents to say it
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for him.
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Come on, Joseph. Just pull your finger out. It's our time.
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It's unprecedented times here. We just need a name said
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by a child. It's all we're asking. Exactly.
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Come on. We're all pulling in the same direction here, mate.
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How about you, Josh? Good?
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Yeah, fine. Totally fine. Totally fine. Fine.
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You've been working a lot. When's Last Leg finishing? Is
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it up until Christmas?
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No, it's December the 11th. So it's fine. Normally, every
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year before, we've gone up to Christmas. So this is
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the first time I'm like, I'm going to have some
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time before Christmas. And basically, I'm done. Apart from a
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couple of Zoom gigs. On December the 12th. And I'm
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just on easy street.
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What's your Christmas plan? What toys are you getting for
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the little one?
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We've got a Christmas list. She's got really into Christmas now.
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This is the first year.
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Oh, right. Okay. So she's proper for it.
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Yeah, she's proper for it. She wants a pink sparkly bike.
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Classic.
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Absolute classic. And she wants an Elsa jigsaw. I'll be
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honest with you. You know those things you think, oh,
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she's not going to get into unicorns in the colour
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pink like every other girl. And she fucking has, mate.
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Well, that's the thing. Our five-year-old is exactly the same.
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The two-year-old, she's a lot more into, she absolutely loves dinosaurs.
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Right.
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Cannot get enough of them.
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Yeah.
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But I'm desperate to watch, Jurassic Park's my favourite film.
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Yeah.
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I love all the Jurassic Park films, more so than
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Star Wars or Avengers and stuff like that. But it's just,
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I'm just panicked. I just, I cannot go too early
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with it. I think we've spoken about this before. And
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they're way too young for it now.
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Yeah, you can cover off dinosaurs for life. Exactly.
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So it's just a waiting game. So I just need
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to know when I can show them the first Jurassic Park,
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need to work it out.
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Probably about 10.
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Yeah, potentially. But it's weird though, because at 10, they're so,
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like my mate texts me, he's doing his kid's Christmas list,
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they're sending to Santa. And he said his boy 100%
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is over the sort of magic of Christmas. And his
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Christmas list is like a sort of like a hostage
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demand list, like in a negotiation. He's just written it
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on a bit of A4 paper at the printer that's
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folded in half or creased and just written in the
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top left-hand corner, Dear Santa, I've been good this year,
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so can I have PS5 or MacBook, skateboard, Apollo 11,
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Rocket Lego, clothes, money, football boots, good quality mic, rugby ball.
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Not even a thank you.
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Good quality mic?
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I know. They're all broadcasters now, Josh.
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Bloody hell, we're in trouble, aren't we?
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This really made me laugh.
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Do you do... How Christmassy is your house? Have you
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got your tree up?
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Oh, yeah, we've gone full Christmas. This year, first year.
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With the amount you leave your heating on, those needles
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are going to be on the floor by December 12th, mate.
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You are going to be very, very anti-this.
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You've got a plastic tree.
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We've got an artificial. It's not plastic.
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Of course you have, Rob. It's on brand.
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We've gone the first year. I've always been anti it,
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but I got sick of it.
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Rob Beckett fans would not be happy if you didn't
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have a fake tree.
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It's an artificial. Stop saying fake. Stop saying plastic. It's artificial.
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It's 4G. It's 4G. I've got a 4G AstroTurf tree.
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It's like a pitch in Sweden. But, you know, it
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does look realistic. It's good. But I just think, yeah,
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the needles would drop. The amount of heating we've got
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in a house, it's just they're thirsty. Thirsty boys.
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Are you pouring an innocent smoothie down for it to...
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for it to keep hydrated throughout.
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A bit of sugar in there, a couple of lucasades
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just to keep it energised. But I'll tell you what
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is good. I went to Costco and they sell these
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like garland things and they're about.
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Like a wreath?
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Yeah, but not a wreath, but it's in one long...
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Imagine like a really long, fat bit of tinsel, but
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it's not tinsel.
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Oh, yeah.
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But it looks like a green... like a bit of
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a tree about five foot long right i think there's
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about 20 or 30 quid with lights on on baubles
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you just plug them in and they light up it
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is such an easy way to make your house look
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like it's like properly festive i feel like you know
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like america is so much more festive than this country
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they just put it everywhere and that it's an absolute
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game changer it's so festive our house i'm loving.
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It i uh we haven't we haven't done it yet
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because we we got the tree too early three years ago.
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And by Christmas day, it was.
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That's the problem with a real tree.
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It was an embarrassment.
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When you go artificial, you can pop it up late November.
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Yeah, I'm not going to go artificial, Rob. Come on, mate.
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Why not?
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Yeah.
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Because I don't want to go with an artificial tree.
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I like the smell.
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Get a candle. Get a candle and cheat it. We've
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got a candle. We've got some room diffusers. It looks
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and smells like a real tree. And it comes... Pre-lit.
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Already lights on it. You don't have to find the
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fairy lights. You don't have to twirl them and twangle
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them around. You just plug it in.
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That's one of the best bits, getting Christmas tree ready.
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But what's the worst bit? Taking those lights off as
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the needles fall.
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No, I do quite enjoy the dismantling of the Christmas tree.
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Where do you get rid of it, though? That's the problem.
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Trying to get rid of a Christmas tree. The council.
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They don't know what's going on. I don't know what
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day of the week it is. But our ones, they go, yeah,
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take it to a local park. No, just take it
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to a local park. I'm not going to get that
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in a car and drive it to a park.
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It's a nightmare.
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Take it to a local park and dispose of it
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like a body.
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Just throw it in a local park. It's basically like,
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you know what they did in Blackheath with the plague?
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They just threw bodies on top of each other and
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buried them. It's like that. It's like a fenced off area.
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You just chuck the trees in and it piles up
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like some sort of horrendous grave. Hackney Council, come and
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get it. If I could put, if I was allowed
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to put a tree on the street and they take it,
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I'd be into it. But they don't. It's a nightmare.
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I normally just throw it at the end of the garden.
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But that's what I used to do in rented properties.
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Is it true that you're not having real food for
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your Christmas dinner as well? You're just going to release
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the smell of turkey and then have a plastic one
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in the middle of the table.
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It's our hook, our Christmas. We use our imagination and
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just launch.
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It each other. Do you do advent calendars?
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Yes.
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So this year, Lou did one when she used to
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make it for the kids, but it was just chocolates
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and toys and stuff like that. So what she's done
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this year is a book vent. So she's got loads
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of books and they get a book each day. They're
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sharing an advent calendar and they unwrap a book and
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then they read that book that night, a Christmassy book
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leading up to Christmas.
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Blimey. Yeah.
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It's pretty impressive what she's done.
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Yeah.
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She wants to start selling them next year and doing
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it for people.
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That's a great idea.
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I mean, maybe, have I given away the idea already?
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Yeah, I think you're fine because this is like the
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equivalent of, like, you can use this in court because
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this is time sensitive.
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Well, I'm going to show you the book then and
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if people are interested in the book then, we will
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sell them next year. That's the deal. We'll stick that
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on Instagram.
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Do you care what you get for Christmas now?
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Um, not really. I, you know, I'm sort of, it's
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weird though, because I'm not really into anything to flash.
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Like I quite like computer games, stuff like that. But
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a lot of the time I would just buy that
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for myself throughout the year, especially because I do YouTube
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videos of me playing computer games. It's like, I sort
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of justify it at work. So yeah, it's not really
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anything that I. normally we do experiences that will go
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on holiday or do a book, a hotel and that
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kind of stuff, like rather than material goods, but I'm
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not really like, I want to do, I don't really have,
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I'm not into watches or into cars or into fancy clothes.
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I mean, who gets a car? You don't get a
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car for Christmas, but so yeah, not really, but probably
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a bit of Lego. I'll be happy with Josh.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And then when the kids are in bed, I'll do
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that in the evening with a nice glass of Bailey's.
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What about you? What do you want for Christmas?
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I think it's the same. Like, I never thought I'd
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reach the stage where I actually prefer giving the presents
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to getting them now. Yeah. I thought that was, when
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people used to say that, I think, you fucking liar.
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You absolute fucking liar. You've seen the John Lewis advert
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and you think that's the best way to be. Don't
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you dare give me that kind of shit. Everyone wants
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to get loads of presents. But actually, as long as
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I've got a chocolate orange, I can give a shit.
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The advice I'd give though for parents at Christmas is,
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we got the, they got a like a, like a,
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a Disney sort of like castle thing that you had
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to assemble. And obviously it's hard to do it. So
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I spent four hours assembling a Disney castle Christmas Eve,
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like up against the clock. So I was trying to
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like lose that off her head on Sherry, having a laugh.
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And I'm sat there like a factory worker.
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Oh, against the clock as in time wise.
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Yeah.
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I was picturing you like leaning on a grandfather clock.
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Yeah, no, but like having to do that and like,
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we want to get the trumpet. I mean, they're not
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going to listen to this, are they? And then someone
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listens to this and then tells them it ruined my
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kid's Christmas. That'd be awful. But a trampoline for Christmas.
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But it's so big, we had to get it delivered to, like, grandparents.
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So it's in the grandparents' garage. Got no way to
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put it. So it's in there. So at some point,
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leading up to Christmas, I've got to go and get it,
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assemble it, and put it in the garden without the
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kids noticing.
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Oh, my God.
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So that could only really happen.
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Put some tinsel around it.
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And also, their bedrooms look out onto the back garden.
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Oh, my.
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So it's like, I've got to wait until they're definitely...
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So I reckon.
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It'll probably be about... You'll have to put up, like, a...
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A sheet around yourself, like when they kill a horse
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at the Grand National.
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Yeah. Or like, you know, when they like make a
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big building disappear. But I don't know what I'm going
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to do because really the only time I can do it,
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because I can't assemble it anywhere else and then drive
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it over. It's not like a small thing. It's got
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00:10:00.740 --> 00:10:03.100
to be. So when you're all sat having a baby.
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Be honest, Rob. Be honest. Two questions. So say you're
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doing this at what, 8pm on Christmas Eve?
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I reckon 8pm would be the earliest because they've got
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to be sound asleep.
264
00:10:15.750 --> 00:10:18.110
9pm on Christmas Eve when you're assembling the trampoline.
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It's going to be, yeah.
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How pissed are you going to be out of 10?
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Angry or drunk?
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00:10:22.190 --> 00:10:23.889
Drunk, because I'm not an American, mate.
269
00:10:24.009 --> 00:10:26.399
I reckon what will happen is, the problem is, it's
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00:10:26.419 --> 00:10:28.600
going to be so cold. I'm going to be on
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00:10:28.639 --> 00:10:30.080
my own because of lockdown rules.
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00:10:30.440 --> 00:10:32.320
Is there not like someone who's babbling with you that
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00:10:32.340 --> 00:10:34.679
could help you, like Lou's dad or your dad or something?
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00:10:35.100 --> 00:10:36.860
Yeah, but I can't make someone come in my garden
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00:10:36.899 --> 00:10:41.299
at 9pm and put a trampoline together. Christmas Eve? I
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just want people to know, when you're sat having a
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nice little drink Christmas Eve, look in your garden at 9pm.
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00:10:48.669 --> 00:10:49.830
It could be raining as well.
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I've never wanted a white Christmas more now that I
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know this is going on.
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00:10:54.730 --> 00:10:57.490
Or I could risk it, get pissed and get up
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early and do it at 3am.
283
00:10:59.190 --> 00:11:02.960
No way. If you're pissed and you're doing it, You're
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going to have a go, aren't you?
285
00:11:04.179 --> 00:11:05.639
Oh, yeah, I'm definitely going to have a go. I'm
286
00:11:05.799 --> 00:11:07.080
thinking about getting a big bow to put on it
287
00:11:07.100 --> 00:11:08.860
as well, because that'd be quite fun. But it will
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00:11:08.879 --> 00:11:10.399
be amazing when they see it and they're excited to
289
00:11:10.419 --> 00:11:12.190
see it and go on it. But it's just a
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00:11:12.230 --> 00:11:13.950
bit of a logistical nightmare. So if anyone's got any
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tips on that, I'm sure other people have assembled a trampoline.
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How hard is it? Do I need a second person?
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00:11:19.350 --> 00:11:21.659
But yeah, I'd love to hear other stories of people
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00:11:21.700 --> 00:11:24.139
that have had nightmares Christmas Eve trying to put toys together. Yeah.
295
00:11:24.740 --> 00:11:28.440
Or if anyone, that's another tip, get batteries. Every single
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00:11:28.500 --> 00:11:31.179
type of battery you can get, buy it and leave
297
00:11:31.200 --> 00:11:33.039
it in the cupboard because you do not want to
298
00:11:33.059 --> 00:11:35.340
be driving to a petrol station to try and buy
299
00:11:35.360 --> 00:11:37.399
them weird little rectangle ones.
300
00:11:38.039 --> 00:11:40.850
Oh yeah. The weird little rectangle ones. No one wants them.
301
00:11:41.750 --> 00:11:44.090
I remember Christmas day, things not working and it's an
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00:11:44.169 --> 00:11:45.490
absolute heartbreaker, isn't it?
303
00:11:45.509 --> 00:11:45.690
Yes.
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00:11:46.149 --> 00:11:48.450
It's awful. So yeah, so that's, that's going to be my,
305
00:11:48.470 --> 00:11:50.870
my challenge Christmas Eve, but I'm sure it'll be fine.
306
00:11:51.269 --> 00:11:54.360
Let us know what you've assembled Christmas Eve. What, Christmas
307
00:11:54.500 --> 00:11:57.519
present style disasters you've had. Rob, would you like to
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00:11:57.539 --> 00:12:00.019
see a three-year-old with insanely long hair?
309
00:12:00.659 --> 00:12:03.590
Yes, please. Yes, I said you can tell the age
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00:12:03.610 --> 00:12:04.789
of a kid by how long their hair is.
311
00:12:05.029 --> 00:12:06.830
Yeah, you said you can tell the age of a
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00:12:06.830 --> 00:12:09.669
kid by how long their hair is. Attached is a
313
00:12:09.710 --> 00:12:12.049
picture of my daughter. How old do you think she is?
314
00:12:12.250 --> 00:12:15.360
Before I guess, Josh, what I was saying was you
315
00:12:15.389 --> 00:12:18.360
can tell if there's two children next to each other,
316
00:12:18.399 --> 00:12:21.429
normally girls... I can tell which one's older. I don't
317
00:12:21.470 --> 00:12:23.070
know if I can necessarily guess the age.
318
00:12:23.470 --> 00:12:23.690
No.
319
00:12:23.710 --> 00:12:24.950
But I'll be able to tell, even if they're the
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00:12:24.990 --> 00:12:25.409
same height.
321
00:12:25.429 --> 00:12:26.870
It's like the rings on a tree. Exactly. It's like
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00:12:26.889 --> 00:12:27.649
the rings on a tree.
323
00:12:27.850 --> 00:12:29.690
If they're the same height, I'll be able to tell
324
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who's older by the hair length.
325
00:12:30.970 --> 00:12:31.309
Yeah.
326
00:12:31.330 --> 00:12:34.620
But this girl, oh, wow. I mean, she looks young,
327
00:12:34.659 --> 00:12:36.960
doesn't she? That looks like a wig. That can't be
328
00:12:37.000 --> 00:12:37.759
all her hair.
329
00:12:38.100 --> 00:12:40.799
So this is a picture of my three-year-old. Three?
330
00:12:41.720 --> 00:12:45.399
Three. Honestly, I thought she was a little five-year-old.
331
00:12:45.679 --> 00:12:49.039
She looks like Cousinette. No, no, I mean, that's unfair. But, like,
332
00:12:49.320 --> 00:12:52.899
the hair is as thick and long as Cousinette. But
333
00:12:52.919 --> 00:12:54.000
they've obviously cut the fringe.
334
00:12:54.259 --> 00:12:58.059
That is insane. In three years. She's so cute, this girl.
335
00:12:58.440 --> 00:13:00.179
We've had 12 inches of the hair cut off and
336
00:13:00.200 --> 00:13:02.460
donated to the Little Princess Trust who make wigs for
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00:13:02.500 --> 00:13:03.679
girls who have cancer.
338
00:13:04.059 --> 00:13:04.500
Oh, wow.
339
00:13:05.019 --> 00:13:06.799
Which is obviously a lovely thing to do.
340
00:13:07.179 --> 00:13:07.639
Yeah.
341
00:13:08.100 --> 00:13:09.870
I wonder... Do you think this means this girl is
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00:13:09.889 --> 00:13:11.779
just going to have really fast growing hair for the
343
00:13:11.820 --> 00:13:12.639
rest of her life?
344
00:13:12.940 --> 00:13:14.659
I mean, yeah, I think that's just going to, she's
345
00:13:14.700 --> 00:13:16.919
going to spend, it's all fun and games now, but
346
00:13:16.940 --> 00:13:18.889
the money she's going to have to spend at hairdressers. Yeah,
347
00:13:18.929 --> 00:13:19.789
I'll have to go hairdressers.
348
00:13:19.830 --> 00:13:20.029
Why?
349
00:13:20.070 --> 00:13:23.899
I've just tripped over it. It's so thick and so long.
350
00:13:23.960 --> 00:13:27.120
It looks like, you know, like she's grabbed a drag wig. Yeah.
351
00:13:27.159 --> 00:13:28.059
Do you know what I mean?
352
00:13:28.120 --> 00:13:30.460
And just put it on for fun. I've got questions really. Just,
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00:13:30.620 --> 00:13:32.659
you know, what do you do with it? When she
354
00:13:32.679 --> 00:13:35.039
goes to preschool and her, is it plaits? Are you
355
00:13:35.059 --> 00:13:36.320
putting it up? You can't put it up in a
356
00:13:36.340 --> 00:13:40.500
messy like bun. It's too much. Or do the parents
357
00:13:40.539 --> 00:13:44.759
have fast growing hair? Is her dad Teen Wolf? Let
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00:13:44.799 --> 00:13:45.139
us know.
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00:13:45.230 --> 00:13:47.090
Do get in touch. Do let us know on all
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00:13:47.110 --> 00:13:47.649
of those things.
361
00:13:47.690 --> 00:13:48.490
Can she slam dunk?
362
00:13:53.480 --> 00:13:53.779
Right.
363
00:13:54.460 --> 00:13:58.620
Steph Collison. This is if you are struggling with taking
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00:13:58.639 --> 00:14:01.220
the dummies away from your children. This is a story
365
00:14:01.299 --> 00:14:03.259
that might make you feel better about your own experience.
366
00:14:03.720 --> 00:14:06.690
We tried the first time to take her dummy away
367
00:14:06.710 --> 00:14:08.070
when she was two and a half. Did the whole
368
00:14:08.470 --> 00:14:10.850
fairy gift palaver. She got a new doll's house and
369
00:14:10.870 --> 00:14:12.730
was very happy to give up her dummy. The first
370
00:14:12.769 --> 00:14:16.750
two nights she slept like an absolute dream. Couldn't work
371
00:14:16.830 --> 00:14:19.610
out why people thought it was so hard. How stupid
372
00:14:19.690 --> 00:14:22.590
I was. Night three, she woke up crying and wouldn't stop.
373
00:14:22.830 --> 00:14:25.490
She did this every single night. I didn't get more
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00:14:25.529 --> 00:14:29.350
than two hours sleep a night for almost three months.
375
00:14:29.769 --> 00:14:31.529
Jesus. Just give her the dummy.
376
00:14:31.929 --> 00:14:35.549
Give her the dummy. After my eye twitched, after 57
377
00:14:35.549 --> 00:14:39.460
consecutive days, through sheer exhaustion, I gave her the dummies back.
378
00:14:39.460 --> 00:14:41.139
57 days.
379
00:14:41.480 --> 00:14:45.820
Oh, you've done so well. Because you just sort of think,
380
00:14:46.139 --> 00:14:48.519
I've lost two months of sleep for nothing.
381
00:14:49.100 --> 00:14:51.519
Oh, God. 57 days.
382
00:14:51.519 --> 00:14:54.120
57 days makes it worse. If she said it after
383
00:14:54.139 --> 00:14:56.419
a couple of months, but you know she's counted them.
384
00:14:56.519 --> 00:14:58.580
Yeah. She's now four and a half and has been
385
00:14:58.600 --> 00:15:01.200
dummy free for a year after a third attempt at
386
00:15:01.240 --> 00:15:01.879
taking it away.
387
00:15:01.899 --> 00:15:05.950
I do think, though, with the dummy, there's no point
388
00:15:05.970 --> 00:15:07.409
rushing it. If they really want it and need it,
389
00:15:07.429 --> 00:15:09.990
let them have it. I do think, though, it's quite
390
00:15:10.029 --> 00:15:12.309
good to go like, because I had a dummy until
391
00:15:12.330 --> 00:15:15.129
I was about three, I think, or four. But my
392
00:15:15.169 --> 00:15:17.059
mum and dad said, you can have the dummy, but
393
00:15:17.080 --> 00:15:18.600
you can only have the dummy when you're in your cot.
394
00:15:19.120 --> 00:15:21.960
I think, you know, generally what we found is with
395
00:15:22.059 --> 00:15:25.350
everything that a lot of the things that you're scared
396
00:15:25.389 --> 00:15:29.659
about doing. they just get there naturally and it's actually fine.
397
00:15:29.679 --> 00:15:31.580
Yeah, you don't need to rush it type of thing.
398
00:15:31.600 --> 00:15:33.059
And I think you get so, especially when you're first,
399
00:15:33.179 --> 00:15:34.580
you get so caught up, I've got to get rid
400
00:15:34.600 --> 00:15:35.539
of the dummy, got to get rid of the dummy.
401
00:15:35.559 --> 00:15:37.720
And it's sort of, you're causing you and the kid
402
00:15:37.759 --> 00:15:40.299
unnecessary drama for really, who gives a shit?
403
00:15:40.590 --> 00:15:40.990
Exactly.
404
00:15:41.070 --> 00:15:42.970
We all do weird stuff. Like, you know, if you
405
00:15:43.190 --> 00:15:44.889
still had your parents and were like, we've got to start,
406
00:15:45.009 --> 00:15:47.210
he keeps going to smother himself, keep hiding under that duvet.
407
00:15:47.230 --> 00:15:49.289
Do you know what I mean? But you're a grown up,
408
00:15:49.309 --> 00:15:51.690
you make your choices and you shuffle down. I ain't
409
00:15:51.710 --> 00:15:52.230
going to judge you.
410
00:15:54.379 --> 00:15:57.379
I think the last thing we've probably got not to do,
411
00:15:57.419 --> 00:16:00.039
that's the wrong word, but the last kind of thing
412
00:16:00.240 --> 00:16:03.460
would be nappies at night. And it just feels like
413
00:16:03.500 --> 00:16:06.299
there's no, we're not going to put any pressure on
414
00:16:06.360 --> 00:16:07.860
this or make it.
415
00:16:07.879 --> 00:16:07.950
Why?
416
00:16:09.250 --> 00:16:11.309
So much of the pressure put on those things. And
417
00:16:11.350 --> 00:16:13.590
I think a part of it was like with me,
418
00:16:13.629 --> 00:16:16.049
with the dummy was a bit like that was like,
419
00:16:16.789 --> 00:16:19.769
you feel like a kind of societal pressure, don't you?
420
00:16:19.870 --> 00:16:20.090
Yes.
421
00:16:20.149 --> 00:16:20.450
I think.
422
00:16:20.690 --> 00:16:23.299
Yeah, exactly. But, you know, and I think it's just,
423
00:16:24.129 --> 00:16:25.860
not putting too much pressure on you or the kid,
424
00:16:25.879 --> 00:16:27.860
because if it's making them happy and they're cool with it.
425
00:16:28.220 --> 00:16:31.629
And with the nappy thing, we don't have nappies in
426
00:16:31.649 --> 00:16:34.649
the night now at all for the three-year-old. And that
427
00:16:34.669 --> 00:16:35.889
was because she went, I don't want to wear a nappy,
428
00:16:35.909 --> 00:16:38.159
it's scratchy. So he said, wear the nappy, but if
429
00:16:38.200 --> 00:16:40.419
you don't do a wee-wee in the nappy, Then if
430
00:16:40.440 --> 00:16:42.919
you do that for, we said like a few nights
431
00:16:42.980 --> 00:16:44.919
in a row, then you can have no nappy. So
432
00:16:45.019 --> 00:16:47.080
in the end she was like, okay. And then she
433
00:16:47.220 --> 00:16:48.980
did have a dry nappy for like about a week
434
00:16:49.019 --> 00:16:50.519
and a half, two weeks in a row. All right,
435
00:16:50.580 --> 00:16:51.899
then we'll take it off. Now she doesn't have one,
436
00:16:52.220 --> 00:16:54.720
but it's like we allowed her to tell us she
437
00:16:54.740 --> 00:16:56.320
didn't want to wear it anymore. They've got to be
438
00:16:56.360 --> 00:16:58.679
into not having a nappy in the night because otherwise
439
00:16:58.740 --> 00:17:00.250
it's just a mess. And then they're going to get
440
00:17:00.259 --> 00:17:02.649
embarrassed and stressed. You're going to get tired and stressed.
441
00:17:02.690 --> 00:17:04.250
You're going to have to keep changing the beds and
442
00:17:04.269 --> 00:17:06.099
the sheets and stuff. There's no rush for it.
443
00:17:06.250 --> 00:17:06.710
Totally.
444
00:17:06.809 --> 00:17:09.549
I've never met anyone who's, 27 still wearing a nappy
445
00:17:09.569 --> 00:17:10.650
at night just in case.
446
00:17:10.849 --> 00:17:12.609
You got to 23 didn't you yes.
447
00:17:12.470 --> 00:17:13.930
Exactly and then i thought i've got to make a
448
00:17:13.970 --> 00:17:20.220
change and i did i've got a couple of uh
449
00:17:20.299 --> 00:17:22.960
instagram messages yeah one's about we're gonna we're gonna go
450
00:17:22.980 --> 00:17:24.140
through them and get some more in because some of
451
00:17:24.160 --> 00:17:26.660
these are from quite old um episodes but it's still
452
00:17:26.680 --> 00:17:29.920
quite funny this one's um about having kids close together
453
00:17:30.349 --> 00:17:32.630
great podcast guys we've got a 22 month old and
454
00:17:32.650 --> 00:17:35.059
a four month old Just a quick story. We were
455
00:17:35.099 --> 00:17:37.599
told by our midwife that when having the first, be careful,
456
00:17:37.700 --> 00:17:40.460
it's easy to get pregnant again straight away after chat.
457
00:17:41.200 --> 00:17:43.529
One of her families had to have IVF and fell
458
00:17:43.549 --> 00:17:47.529
pregnant with triplets. Okay, so that's good though. You're on IVF,
459
00:17:47.569 --> 00:17:50.109
it's expensive, you've got all three. You're tapping out after that,
460
00:17:50.130 --> 00:17:50.789
you'd think, wouldn't you?
461
00:17:51.250 --> 00:17:51.430
Yeah.
462
00:17:51.710 --> 00:17:56.119
Yeah? So after they were born... She was round and
463
00:17:56.220 --> 00:17:58.799
having the same chat about, be careful. I know you
464
00:17:58.819 --> 00:18:01.539
went through IVF, but you can get pregnant really quickly
465
00:18:02.000 --> 00:18:05.519
after having kids. They laughed it off, say, there's no chance.
466
00:18:05.940 --> 00:18:08.140
We've had to have IVF, so we doubt it would
467
00:18:08.180 --> 00:18:11.259
happen that easily. And we've ended up with triplies, so
468
00:18:11.299 --> 00:18:15.849
we'd rather stop there. Two and a half months later,
469
00:18:16.569 --> 00:18:20.269
guess who's pregnant with twins? Five children under the age
470
00:18:20.309 --> 00:18:20.650
of one.
471
00:18:21.210 --> 00:18:26.079
Oh, my God. Oh, my word. Wow.
472
00:18:26.539 --> 00:18:27.859
Wow. Five under one.
473
00:18:28.319 --> 00:18:29.640
Five under one.
474
00:18:29.660 --> 00:18:32.579
I think that's worse than having five at once. Do
475
00:18:32.839 --> 00:18:35.160
you know what I mean? Because at least if you've
476
00:18:35.180 --> 00:18:37.180
got five at once, they're all at the same stage.
477
00:18:37.559 --> 00:18:40.799
But imagine having one just nine months behind. Oh, my God.
478
00:18:40.819 --> 00:18:44.069
Oh, my God. I genuinely, before I had kids, I
479
00:18:44.160 --> 00:18:46.430
used to think twins would probably be the dream scenario
480
00:18:46.450 --> 00:18:48.069
because you just bash them out. Do you know what
481
00:18:48.089 --> 00:18:48.990
I mean? And it would be like.
482
00:18:49.369 --> 00:18:50.390
Bash them out.
483
00:18:50.509 --> 00:18:52.150
But you've got two kids for the price of one.
484
00:18:52.230 --> 00:18:55.630
But actually, five in a. Oh my word.
485
00:18:56.250 --> 00:18:58.390
Five under one. Could you imagine that?
486
00:18:58.410 --> 00:18:59.230
Five under one.
487
00:18:59.259 --> 00:19:01.920
It's just, you'd have to get, you'd have to get help.
488
00:19:01.980 --> 00:19:03.940
You can't do that. You can't, I could look after
489
00:19:04.000 --> 00:19:04.819
five kids on my own.
490
00:19:05.319 --> 00:19:05.400
No.
491
00:19:05.420 --> 00:19:06.240
I barely could do one.
492
00:19:06.500 --> 00:19:08.980
I was talking to my friend who works on Last Leg.
493
00:19:09.240 --> 00:19:12.079
He's got three. And I was like, I was like, oh,
494
00:19:12.099 --> 00:19:13.519
what are you up to this weekend? And he was like,
495
00:19:13.900 --> 00:19:16.180
I have my wife's working. So I'm just going one
496
00:19:16.240 --> 00:19:19.920
on three. And I genuinely, I just couldn't even comprehend
497
00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:22.660
that at the moment as one kid. I know loads
498
00:19:22.700 --> 00:19:24.750
of people do it, but I was like, How the
499
00:19:24.789 --> 00:19:26.710
fuck do you do that? You know, when you like
500
00:19:26.769 --> 00:19:29.349
hear about like Dolly Parton's one of, what is she,
501
00:19:29.390 --> 00:19:32.579
one of 12 or something mad like that? What's your day?
502
00:19:32.599 --> 00:19:35.240
Well, I think when there's 12, when there's 12, the
503
00:19:35.400 --> 00:19:37.539
eldest starts looking after the kids for you because they
504
00:19:37.559 --> 00:19:40.039
want to feel they, you know, I think that's what happens, right?
505
00:19:40.319 --> 00:19:42.339
You have a 13 year old that's basically doing a
506
00:19:42.359 --> 00:19:45.670
lot of the work. Having one kid changes your lifestyle completely, right?
507
00:19:46.009 --> 00:19:49.789
But going from one to two absolutely sort of screws
508
00:19:49.809 --> 00:19:52.730
you with like it's this you're just split completely between
509
00:19:52.769 --> 00:19:54.869
them so I think from two to three isn't that
510
00:19:54.890 --> 00:19:56.890
big a jump as from one to two it is
511
00:19:56.950 --> 00:19:59.650
harder work obviously having three kids but you're just used
512
00:19:59.670 --> 00:20:01.680
to that's just what what's happening and by that point
513
00:20:01.720 --> 00:20:04.400
your house is running a family home that has children
514
00:20:04.440 --> 00:20:06.160
in it but when you have your first one it's
515
00:20:06.180 --> 00:20:08.970
like a couple's house that turns into a kid's And
516
00:20:09.009 --> 00:20:11.150
then when the second one comes on, they start outnumbering you.
517
00:20:11.380 --> 00:20:11.640
Yeah.
518
00:20:12.500 --> 00:20:15.200
I've got an Instagram here that's quite funny about pronouncing
519
00:20:15.240 --> 00:20:18.339
things wrong. Hi, guys. Love the podcast. Definitely helped during
520
00:20:18.359 --> 00:20:20.619
lockdown as I have a seven-year-old and a one-year-old turning
521
00:20:20.700 --> 00:20:22.940
eight and two in October. They've just turned then. This
522
00:20:22.980 --> 00:20:27.829
is how backdated we are with admin, Josh. This must
523
00:20:27.869 --> 00:20:30.529
have been said in September. I listened to Rob's elephant
524
00:20:30.589 --> 00:20:33.029
trunk story and thought I'd share ours. That was when
525
00:20:33.049 --> 00:20:33.930
my daughter said it.
526
00:20:34.049 --> 00:20:34.490
Quite rude.
527
00:20:35.240 --> 00:20:37.299
Our youngest, Ellis, is a boy who loves cars and
528
00:20:37.319 --> 00:20:39.680
we are trying to teach him colours. So thought best
529
00:20:39.700 --> 00:20:43.190
to combine the two to help his concentration. Now, we
530
00:20:43.230 --> 00:20:47.130
know he's saying white car. He is definitely saying white car.
531
00:20:47.369 --> 00:20:49.339
But all anyone else hears at the top of his
532
00:20:49.380 --> 00:20:54.589
voice is one car. Wanker. Wanker. As he points at
533
00:20:54.609 --> 00:20:56.829
the offending vehicle. As in, we are hoping he gets
534
00:20:56.869 --> 00:21:00.170
his pronunciation through soon as a dread white car's going past.
535
00:21:01.569 --> 00:21:03.269
Especially with a window open in the summer.
536
00:21:03.309 --> 00:21:03.569
Wanker.
537
00:21:03.609 --> 00:21:04.289
What was that?
538
00:21:04.369 --> 00:21:04.809
Oh, nothing.
539
00:21:05.829 --> 00:21:07.109
If you've got anything you want to get in touch,
540
00:21:07.130 --> 00:21:07.849
this is how.
541
00:21:09.390 --> 00:21:15.230
Email us hello at lockdownparenting.co.uk or tweet us at lockdownparents
542
00:21:15.650 --> 00:21:20.130
or Instagram lockdown underscore parenting and you can also send
543
00:21:20.210 --> 00:21:25.970
us stuff P.O. Box 76748, London E99DW.
544
00:21:31.640 --> 00:21:32.839
Right, Rob, who have we got on today?
545
00:21:33.039 --> 00:21:36.019
We have the wonderful Sindhu V, a very funny comedian.
546
00:21:36.160 --> 00:21:38.339
And I did Jonathan Ross with her the other week.
547
00:21:38.359 --> 00:21:39.920
She was really, really funny on that as well. And
548
00:21:39.940 --> 00:21:41.960
it was a great interview. And she's a very different
549
00:21:42.019 --> 00:21:44.099
kind of parent, isn't she, to what we are?
550
00:21:44.119 --> 00:21:48.079
Very different. Very different. Far more in control of the
551
00:21:48.099 --> 00:21:49.349
situation than I am.
552
00:21:49.609 --> 00:21:49.970
This is.
553
00:21:50.849 --> 00:21:55.269
Sindhu V. Hello, Sindhu V.
554
00:21:55.549 --> 00:21:56.269
Hello, Josh.
555
00:21:56.529 --> 00:21:57.930
Sindhu, what's your setup at home?
556
00:21:58.349 --> 00:22:02.170
Okay, I've got three kids, three kids, two dogs, two
557
00:22:02.230 --> 00:22:06.150
now that we got a puppy in quarantine, because why not?
558
00:22:06.410 --> 00:22:08.470
One husband and two turtles.
559
00:22:10.650 --> 00:22:11.799
What a twist at the end.
560
00:22:12.900 --> 00:22:14.740
And how old are they? They are.
561
00:22:15.900 --> 00:22:17.680
Uh, so I'm going to say this on the podcast
562
00:22:17.700 --> 00:22:20.079
and it's crazy. I, because I speak a lot about
563
00:22:20.099 --> 00:22:22.140
the children on stage, I have a habit of being
564
00:22:22.279 --> 00:22:26.150
vague about their genders, like, and their ages. I just
565
00:22:26.190 --> 00:22:28.450
think if I get too specific, it gets too real.
566
00:22:28.609 --> 00:22:28.869
Okay.
567
00:22:29.130 --> 00:22:31.769
Um, so I have two teenagers. They're in the advanced
568
00:22:32.150 --> 00:22:35.690
years of teenage. And I've got one who is quite
569
00:22:35.769 --> 00:22:44.099
far away from being a teen. Yeah. I always wanted
570
00:22:44.130 --> 00:22:46.400
a lot of children. Then I had two and I
571
00:22:46.400 --> 00:22:49.480
was like, God damn, this is hard. And so I
572
00:22:49.480 --> 00:22:52.250
just was like, holy shit. And I kind of was
573
00:22:52.269 --> 00:22:55.819
just thought that's enough, you know? And then when that
574
00:22:56.180 --> 00:22:59.079
wore off, I don't know why it wore off, but
575
00:22:59.160 --> 00:23:01.720
it did. I was like, oh my gosh, what about
576
00:23:01.789 --> 00:23:03.400
all the children I was going to have? And so
577
00:23:03.420 --> 00:23:05.950
I had another one. And I learned that three is
578
00:23:05.990 --> 00:23:07.930
what tips you right over the edge.
579
00:23:08.170 --> 00:23:08.690
Oh, really?
580
00:23:08.910 --> 00:23:10.650
And you use the will to live, let alone have
581
00:23:10.690 --> 00:23:11.230
other kids.
582
00:23:11.569 --> 00:23:12.950
So how many did you imagine you were going to
583
00:23:12.970 --> 00:23:13.670
have originally?
584
00:23:13.750 --> 00:23:14.109
Oh, four.
585
00:23:14.170 --> 00:23:15.009
I wanted four children.
586
00:23:15.190 --> 00:23:15.670
Four.
587
00:23:15.690 --> 00:23:17.769
Wow. I wanted four. Yeah, I wanted four. I always did.
588
00:23:17.789 --> 00:23:19.730
Even when I was very young, I remember saying to
589
00:23:19.769 --> 00:23:21.250
my mother, I'm going to have four kids. And she
590
00:23:21.269 --> 00:23:23.990
would say, you will not even get married if you
591
00:23:24.039 --> 00:23:27.740
keep on behaving like you are behaving. The job that
592
00:23:27.779 --> 00:23:31.569
I had, which was investment banking... it's very incompatible with
593
00:23:31.630 --> 00:23:34.299
being the kind of mother it turned out I wanted
594
00:23:34.359 --> 00:23:36.400
to be. I never thought I would want to be
595
00:23:36.440 --> 00:23:38.960
that kind of mom. I thought I would be, I
596
00:23:39.000 --> 00:23:42.000
always wanted to be a mom, but my boss had
597
00:23:42.140 --> 00:23:44.579
five children in banking and she had a stay at
598
00:23:44.619 --> 00:23:47.200
home husband and three nannies. So I thought, well, I
599
00:23:47.240 --> 00:23:48.859
don't have a stay at home husband, but if you can,
600
00:23:48.980 --> 00:23:51.009
I'll just get a net, I'll just get nannies. You
601
00:23:51.029 --> 00:23:53.789
know what I mean? And what didn't, what I had
602
00:23:54.230 --> 00:23:58.289
no expectation of was that I would have my kid and, uh,
603
00:23:59.200 --> 00:24:01.109
And then that I would change so much because I
604
00:24:01.160 --> 00:24:03.549
had him and I took my full maternity leave and
605
00:24:03.569 --> 00:24:05.390
I was desperate to get back to work because I
606
00:24:05.430 --> 00:24:08.869
really liked my job. But the moment I got to work,
607
00:24:09.109 --> 00:24:12.359
I didn't care about deals. I wasn't hungry anymore. I
608
00:24:12.599 --> 00:24:15.940
just wasn't. No, I bet. Well, a lot of my
609
00:24:15.980 --> 00:24:19.380
friends were, they were, you know, and I, it turned
610
00:24:19.500 --> 00:24:23.220
out that if you're not hungry, then being on a
611
00:24:23.279 --> 00:24:26.009
trading floor becomes a real mind fuck.
612
00:24:26.130 --> 00:24:26.369
Yeah.
613
00:24:26.799 --> 00:24:28.720
You have to have a certain attitude of like.
614
00:24:28.740 --> 00:24:29.599
Go, go, go, go, go.
615
00:24:29.640 --> 00:24:31.839
And all I could think about was, you know, my
616
00:24:31.880 --> 00:24:34.960
son is teething or, you know, I wonder what he's doing.
617
00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:37.819
And I just was like, I was not happy. And
618
00:24:37.839 --> 00:24:40.589
then they were very good to me. They changed my job.
619
00:24:41.150 --> 00:24:42.910
I was the first woman for whom they created a
620
00:24:42.950 --> 00:24:46.029
three-day week on the trading floor front office. But, you know,
621
00:24:46.049 --> 00:24:49.069
I didn't grow up wanting to be in banking. See,
622
00:24:49.089 --> 00:24:50.730
I was doing something very different. I think that's a
623
00:24:50.769 --> 00:24:53.089
sign is that when you have a child at so
624
00:24:53.130 --> 00:24:55.619
many levels, you go back to your roots, right? Whether
625
00:24:55.640 --> 00:24:58.519
it's culturally or the family roots you come from or
626
00:24:58.599 --> 00:25:01.009
whatever your ambitions were. Yeah. So it didn't work. So
627
00:25:01.089 --> 00:25:03.569
I quit. I did such crazy rock and roll shit.
628
00:25:03.609 --> 00:25:05.190
I made the firm do so many things. You know,
629
00:25:05.230 --> 00:25:07.630
I had to take my clients. I used to cover
630
00:25:07.650 --> 00:25:10.210
the US dollar market, but I used to cover clients
631
00:25:10.289 --> 00:25:14.450
in Europe. And I had to take all my clients
632
00:25:14.470 --> 00:25:18.309
to New York one time and to see Freddie Mac
633
00:25:18.349 --> 00:25:21.349
and Fannie Mae, whatever, mortgage bonds, blah, blah, blah. And
634
00:25:21.650 --> 00:25:23.049
I said, I'm not going to travel without my kid.
635
00:25:23.069 --> 00:25:24.869
I remember he was 11 months old. And I told
636
00:25:24.890 --> 00:25:26.470
my boss, I said, I'm not going without him. And
637
00:25:26.509 --> 00:25:27.710
he was like, and he said to me, who do
638
00:25:27.730 --> 00:25:32.339
you think you are? Madonna? You can't travel on the
639
00:25:32.420 --> 00:25:35.799
road with help and a kid. And so I was like,
640
00:25:35.819 --> 00:25:37.140
I don't care. I'm not going to go. So they
641
00:25:37.180 --> 00:25:38.720
were so nice. They were like, fine.
642
00:25:38.740 --> 00:25:41.829
Shut the hell up. Cindy, were you the best trader
643
00:25:41.869 --> 00:25:42.569
there ever was?
644
00:25:42.670 --> 00:25:46.019
No, no, I wasn't. No, I wasn't. But what it was,
645
00:25:46.150 --> 00:25:48.200
I was by no means, I was not even a trader,
646
00:25:48.220 --> 00:25:50.279
I was in sales. But what it was, was this.
647
00:25:50.539 --> 00:25:53.079
And I think this is a very important thing. It
648
00:25:53.160 --> 00:25:55.180
was a road trip. So I would have been gone,
649
00:25:55.220 --> 00:25:57.839
I was gone about two weeks. And the second thing was,
650
00:25:58.180 --> 00:26:01.519
it was an important road trip. And my clients liked me.
651
00:26:01.779 --> 00:26:04.369
And I think my boss, because he had several kids,
652
00:26:04.750 --> 00:26:07.509
I think he had this idea that if we keep
653
00:26:07.589 --> 00:26:10.519
cutting women out when they talk about their kids, we're
654
00:26:10.539 --> 00:26:14.079
going to end up with shitty salespeople because often it's
655
00:26:14.099 --> 00:26:16.099
a good salesperson you have to let go. But I
656
00:26:16.140 --> 00:26:18.569
will say one thing. I will say that at that time,
657
00:26:19.470 --> 00:26:22.990
I think there was more openness. to this idea in
658
00:26:23.150 --> 00:26:27.160
Europe that somehow you try and accommodate women and children
659
00:26:27.180 --> 00:26:29.799
than there was on Wall Street. Because when I was
660
00:26:29.819 --> 00:26:33.059
in America, it really felt like I was doing something crazy.
661
00:26:33.740 --> 00:26:37.059
Whereas here, people were like, oh, that's cool. Not like,
662
00:26:37.240 --> 00:26:40.349
are you high? That wasn't the vibe. But it was
663
00:26:40.390 --> 00:26:40.890
a great trip.
664
00:26:40.930 --> 00:26:43.730
I guess Europeans, especially in Spain and Italy, are way
665
00:26:43.750 --> 00:26:46.390
more family-focused than in North America. Yeah.
666
00:26:47.210 --> 00:26:49.519
Well, yeah, I think when it comes to work and
667
00:26:49.559 --> 00:26:52.079
women and finance, it's like pick a lane, you know,
668
00:26:52.259 --> 00:26:54.519
in Wall Street, it's like pick a lane. And I think,
669
00:26:55.279 --> 00:26:57.599
I think the UK is second. And then after that
670
00:26:57.640 --> 00:27:00.200
is the rest of Europe. And I think the UK
671
00:27:00.819 --> 00:27:03.119
has been trying to get it right. And I think
672
00:27:03.140 --> 00:27:04.819
they have got it. I mean, things are very, very
673
00:27:04.859 --> 00:27:07.509
different now than when I was there. But no, it
674
00:27:07.529 --> 00:27:09.710
was such a crazy trip. And I will say that
675
00:27:10.089 --> 00:27:13.990
mental health wise, it was probably not the best thing
676
00:27:14.069 --> 00:27:18.859
to do. fully focused i never slept everyone was jet
677
00:27:18.900 --> 00:27:22.420
lagged the baby was jet lagged you know um the
678
00:27:22.579 --> 00:27:25.049
the indian nanny i took with me stopped speaking i
679
00:27:25.069 --> 00:27:30.589
thought she had a breakdown um i thought she'd had
680
00:27:30.609 --> 00:27:32.190
a psychotic break.
681
00:27:34.670 --> 00:27:38.460
So then you started stand up when your daughters when
682
00:27:38.480 --> 00:27:41.359
your children the older ones were teenagers is that right.
683
00:27:42.079 --> 00:27:44.700
Uh, yeah, two were in double figures and one was
684
00:27:44.759 --> 00:27:45.240
very young.
685
00:27:45.440 --> 00:27:47.009
And how did the kids react to that?
686
00:27:47.269 --> 00:27:51.109
Well, Josh, for the longest time I was doing open
687
00:27:51.150 --> 00:27:54.410
mic in, you know, butt fuck. They didn't know what
688
00:27:54.430 --> 00:27:57.049
I was doing. They were like, you're not really, anyway,
689
00:27:57.089 --> 00:27:59.329
I never read good night stories and all that because
690
00:27:59.369 --> 00:28:01.190
they don't do in India. And I thought it was
691
00:28:01.210 --> 00:28:03.150
always so tedious. So it's not like they missed that.
692
00:28:03.430 --> 00:28:04.430
But what about bath time?
693
00:28:04.730 --> 00:28:06.680
No, bath time? No, they have a bath. What am
694
00:28:06.700 --> 00:28:07.880
I going to do? I mean, of course, they're not
695
00:28:07.920 --> 00:28:10.079
that small. When they were small, I was in the bath.
696
00:28:10.140 --> 00:28:11.519
I didn't want them to drown. But as soon as
697
00:28:11.539 --> 00:28:12.660
they could have a bath, I was like, go have
698
00:28:12.680 --> 00:28:13.359
a shower. What are you doing?
699
00:28:13.380 --> 00:28:14.819
So what age would you let them shower alone?
700
00:28:15.220 --> 00:28:17.960
You know, when they were like a reasonable age, whatever, like,
701
00:28:18.369 --> 00:28:20.289
I don't know, six, seven. One of my kids had
702
00:28:20.309 --> 00:28:22.190
a habit of going into the shower and coming back
703
00:28:22.329 --> 00:28:26.309
and coming out and with a totally dry face. And
704
00:28:26.349 --> 00:28:30.970
I'd be like, who are you kidding? I was like,
705
00:28:31.009 --> 00:28:33.230
how is this possible? He said, no, mommy, I did.
706
00:28:33.269 --> 00:28:35.690
I said, you did not. Come on, dude. Come on.
707
00:28:36.309 --> 00:28:39.170
And then by the time it was like, really the
708
00:28:39.210 --> 00:28:42.710
only time your kids know is when they're friends or
709
00:28:42.750 --> 00:28:45.230
you're on YouTube or TV. I mean, otherwise, how do
710
00:28:45.250 --> 00:28:48.470
they know? They don't. And I think for me that
711
00:28:48.529 --> 00:28:51.470
was probably, I think it was maybe when I did
712
00:28:52.299 --> 00:28:54.759
Have I Got News For You, which I did very early. Maybe,
713
00:28:54.839 --> 00:28:57.539
I don't know, very early and it just happened. And
714
00:28:58.420 --> 00:29:01.609
I think my son, he said, He asked me, where
715
00:29:01.630 --> 00:29:03.450
you on, have I got news for you? And I said, yes.
716
00:29:03.490 --> 00:29:06.390
He said his science teacher had asked him. And he said,
717
00:29:06.430 --> 00:29:08.490
I said no to him. And I said, why? And
718
00:29:08.529 --> 00:29:10.410
he's like, why would you be on TV?
719
00:29:10.430 --> 00:29:15.000
That is a real confidence booster.
720
00:29:15.799 --> 00:29:15.900
Yeah.
721
00:29:15.920 --> 00:29:17.400
But I think the other thing is I didn't like,
722
00:29:17.599 --> 00:29:19.500
I didn't choose to talk about it at home really,
723
00:29:19.700 --> 00:29:22.539
because I just, it's just something I did that was not,
724
00:29:23.160 --> 00:29:24.880
you know, like for the kids, I was, because I
725
00:29:24.900 --> 00:29:26.880
was still always a full on mom. I was still
726
00:29:26.900 --> 00:29:29.339
taking them to school. waking them up, going to see
727
00:29:29.380 --> 00:29:32.640
their football, packing their lunch, who has the time in
728
00:29:33.160 --> 00:29:35.950
between telling them to stop beating each other up and
729
00:29:35.990 --> 00:29:37.529
get their shit together and get in the car to
730
00:29:37.569 --> 00:29:39.900
be like, oh, by the way, I'm doing standup. Like who, who?
731
00:29:42.339 --> 00:29:45.140
You know, and I'm very, I've always been quite demanding
732
00:29:45.299 --> 00:29:48.680
academically of the children. So by and large, they don't
733
00:29:48.720 --> 00:29:49.420
like to talk to me.
734
00:29:49.440 --> 00:29:51.849
Are you quite stern, mother? Like quite strict?
735
00:29:52.430 --> 00:29:54.309
I mean, I'm told I'm strict.
736
00:29:54.450 --> 00:29:54.849
Who by?
737
00:29:55.470 --> 00:29:57.529
Everybody in the house. Yeah.
738
00:29:58.460 --> 00:30:01.019
What about other kids of friends and family? Have there
739
00:30:01.039 --> 00:30:03.539
been things you don't like going on in your house
740
00:30:03.640 --> 00:30:05.779
and you've had to impose your stricter rules on other kids?
741
00:30:06.759 --> 00:30:09.200
I wouldn't do that to other people's kids in our home.
742
00:30:09.359 --> 00:30:12.640
If they come, they behave badly. They're my guests. They can.
743
00:30:13.160 --> 00:30:16.289
You will see my kids looking at me in utter panic. Like,
744
00:30:17.089 --> 00:30:22.150
oh my God. And they look at me in like,
745
00:30:22.250 --> 00:30:25.769
they're like terrorized because they know what it means to me.
746
00:30:25.849 --> 00:30:29.789
But they've also understood... We have a phrase in Sanskrit,
747
00:30:29.950 --> 00:30:35.329
which is, which is the guest comes as God. So
748
00:30:35.369 --> 00:30:37.579
you do never criticize your guests. You know what I mean?
749
00:30:37.640 --> 00:30:40.299
No matter what. But when they leave, I look at
750
00:30:40.339 --> 00:30:43.640
the kids and they're like, we know, we got it.
751
00:30:43.960 --> 00:30:44.599
We saw it.
752
00:30:46.059 --> 00:30:49.559
But I think there's a very strong code with the children,
753
00:30:50.369 --> 00:30:52.329
you know, about what's done and what's not done.
754
00:30:52.869 --> 00:30:56.029
So when you say, because you obviously, you, You didn't
755
00:30:56.069 --> 00:30:57.789
do the bed, you don't do the bedtime stories. What
756
00:30:57.809 --> 00:31:01.589
are the other British, not parenting traditions, but kind of
757
00:31:01.650 --> 00:31:05.470
parenting norms that you find kind of baffling like that
758
00:31:05.569 --> 00:31:06.210
or just like?
759
00:31:06.819 --> 00:31:08.660
Well, I mean, baffling, you know, I do know, I
760
00:31:08.740 --> 00:31:10.900
can see why you guys tell stories and it's nice.
761
00:31:10.960 --> 00:31:12.480
I just, I'm like, I'm not fucking doing it.
762
00:31:12.480 --> 00:31:13.039
Yeah.
763
00:31:14.630 --> 00:31:16.569
I just, it's not even like a bad baffling.
764
00:31:16.849 --> 00:31:19.640
I'll rephrase the question. What other things are you not
765
00:31:19.660 --> 00:31:20.279
fucking doing?
766
00:31:23.440 --> 00:31:26.359
I don't, what else do I not do? I don't
767
00:31:26.559 --> 00:31:27.920
really play with them.
768
00:31:28.220 --> 00:31:28.579
Okay.
769
00:31:28.920 --> 00:31:30.900
Like I play, they're around me playing.
770
00:31:31.440 --> 00:31:31.569
Yeah.
771
00:31:31.589 --> 00:31:33.049
Like now I play with them because I've taught all
772
00:31:33.069 --> 00:31:35.329
of them how to play Rummy and three card poker.
773
00:31:35.369 --> 00:31:41.029
That's fine. But I won't play like fucking, you know, Legos, man. No, no, no, no, no, no.
774
00:31:41.109 --> 00:31:42.849
I've been a kid. I did all this.
775
00:31:43.299 --> 00:31:45.420
But don't you find that nostalgia going back to those
776
00:31:45.480 --> 00:31:48.000
games and doing something together? Don't you get a buzz
777
00:31:48.019 --> 00:31:48.440
from that?
778
00:31:48.920 --> 00:31:50.740
No, but I do other kid things with them. Like,
779
00:31:50.759 --> 00:31:54.039
for example, you know, I've always had, I've always been
780
00:31:54.059 --> 00:31:58.880
a little, I've always been a little bit cavalier with
781
00:31:58.900 --> 00:32:00.319
this bedtime business, you know?
782
00:32:00.859 --> 00:32:01.200
Oh, yeah.
783
00:32:01.579 --> 00:32:01.900
Yeah.
784
00:32:02.259 --> 00:32:03.920
When they were very little, then you have to because
785
00:32:03.940 --> 00:32:06.619
you need a routine. But like, say when they're four, five, six, seven,
786
00:32:06.640 --> 00:32:09.369
like when they've started school. I mean, before they go
787
00:32:09.390 --> 00:32:10.950
to nursery, I don't care when you sleep. When you
788
00:32:10.970 --> 00:32:12.509
fall asleep, I'll pick you up where you are and
789
00:32:12.529 --> 00:32:15.309
then that's it. Thank you. But if we're going out
790
00:32:15.569 --> 00:32:18.309
and you're going to be sleepy and then, you know, misbehave,
791
00:32:18.490 --> 00:32:20.490
then we have like, don't do that either. So my
792
00:32:20.529 --> 00:32:22.609
husband is like, you have no rules. These kids just
793
00:32:22.650 --> 00:32:25.450
have to adapt. I'm like, yeah, that's pretty much right.
794
00:32:26.049 --> 00:32:28.750
But every once in a while, you know, there'll be
795
00:32:28.829 --> 00:32:30.789
something we want to do. Like there'll be a TV
796
00:32:30.849 --> 00:32:32.970
show that we all want to watch. And it's like
797
00:32:33.029 --> 00:32:35.410
past our bedtime. I'm like, screw the bedtime. Let's watch.
798
00:32:36.039 --> 00:32:37.440
Or like, you know, if there's a movie that we
799
00:32:37.480 --> 00:32:39.240
really want to watch and somehow we can't watch on
800
00:32:39.269 --> 00:32:41.549
the weekend, I'm like, let's watch it now. The one
801
00:32:41.650 --> 00:32:45.329
thing that I, and I don't have many rules around
802
00:32:45.410 --> 00:32:48.390
like dessert and ice cream and whatever, like that's fine.
803
00:32:48.410 --> 00:32:50.529
It's in the fridge or we have this, eat it,
804
00:32:50.869 --> 00:32:52.549
you know, like just use some sense.
805
00:32:52.630 --> 00:32:54.269
So would you say you let the small things go,
806
00:32:54.390 --> 00:32:56.690
but big things you come down on them quite hard?
807
00:32:57.160 --> 00:32:57.779
I think so.
808
00:32:57.839 --> 00:33:01.420
I mean, you see kids, the things that kids do,
809
00:33:01.480 --> 00:33:04.220
which are interesting to both kids and me, I'm there.
810
00:33:05.089 --> 00:33:07.589
I'm there. Like I took my children alone when they
811
00:33:07.630 --> 00:33:10.490
were four and two to Disneyland by myself.
812
00:33:10.650 --> 00:33:11.430
Oh my God.
813
00:33:11.690 --> 00:33:13.690
All the way to Los Angeles.
814
00:33:13.930 --> 00:33:14.490
From London?
815
00:33:14.880 --> 00:33:17.240
Well, I went from London to Atlanta to attend my
816
00:33:17.279 --> 00:33:19.960
cousin's wedding, which was a great wedding, by the way.
817
00:33:20.339 --> 00:33:21.839
And then from there, I was like, well, I'm not
818
00:33:21.859 --> 00:33:23.440
going back to London. We're already here. So I was like,
819
00:33:23.460 --> 00:33:24.799
let's go to LA. And my husband was like, I
820
00:33:24.819 --> 00:33:26.180
can't do it. I'm like, that's fine. I got this.
821
00:33:26.440 --> 00:33:28.119
So there's those kinds of things, which I think a
822
00:33:28.140 --> 00:33:29.700
lot of adults are like, are you crazy? I'm like, no,
823
00:33:29.720 --> 00:33:30.099
it'll be fine.
824
00:33:30.140 --> 00:33:30.880
It'll be fine. I'll be fine.
825
00:33:30.920 --> 00:33:32.259
And we had a great time. The other thing I
826
00:33:32.319 --> 00:33:33.339
used to do, which the kids.
827
00:33:34.769 --> 00:33:37.230
Later told me they had never heard of anyone doing
828
00:33:37.269 --> 00:33:43.509
was I really like Pixar. Okay. Like really. So when
829
00:33:43.549 --> 00:33:46.009
the first few Pixar movies came out, they used to
830
00:33:46.049 --> 00:33:48.369
be one every 18 months. Like when these, when my
831
00:33:48.410 --> 00:33:52.170
teens were young, I used to not want to go
832
00:33:52.250 --> 00:33:54.569
on the weekend because everyone brought their kids and kids
833
00:33:54.589 --> 00:33:57.150
would talk and it would be like a kiddie movie event.
834
00:33:57.539 --> 00:33:58.930
And I'm like, I don't have fucking time for this.
835
00:33:58.990 --> 00:34:01.660
So I used to go on the first day that
836
00:34:01.700 --> 00:34:04.099
the movie came out, which is usually a Thursday or Friday.
837
00:34:04.940 --> 00:34:06.680
And I would go to the school. I did this
838
00:34:06.700 --> 00:34:09.340
with both of them. Go to the school, tell the
839
00:34:09.380 --> 00:34:11.880
school there was a dental appointment or something. Get the
840
00:34:11.920 --> 00:34:13.969
kid out of class. And the middle of the day,
841
00:34:14.010 --> 00:34:14.829
we would go to the movies.
842
00:34:16.190 --> 00:34:18.250
Oh, I bet your kids loved it.
843
00:34:18.469 --> 00:34:21.050
Oh, my God. Well, it's they and I didn't tell
844
00:34:21.090 --> 00:34:23.730
them because you see, kids will tell their friends. And
845
00:34:23.849 --> 00:34:25.489
so I would just do it. And I had to
846
00:34:25.590 --> 00:34:28.000
because both my kids have my husband's gene of being
847
00:34:28.059 --> 00:34:31.570
very honest. They would look at me with their eyes
848
00:34:31.619 --> 00:34:34.969
like saucepans. I'm like, remember the dentist? And we would leave.
849
00:34:34.989 --> 00:34:36.210
And I'd be like, dude, we're going to the movies.
850
00:34:36.809 --> 00:34:38.610
And their heads would explode. And I'd be like, but
851
00:34:38.650 --> 00:34:41.429
here's the thing. If you go and tell your friend tomorrow,
852
00:34:41.929 --> 00:34:43.630
I'm going to go to jail. So they never told.
853
00:34:43.650 --> 00:34:48.130
They were like, oh, shit. And now they tell me
854
00:34:48.170 --> 00:34:50.289
that was so bad. Like, we were so scared.
855
00:34:50.489 --> 00:34:53.389
But you're generally hard on them academically. Does that not
856
00:34:53.409 --> 00:34:54.110
go against that?
857
00:34:54.670 --> 00:34:58.250
One day of missing school, you're not going to get
858
00:34:58.250 --> 00:35:00.079
10 on 10? What's the matter with you? One day.
859
00:35:06.570 --> 00:35:08.889
But I'll tell you, you know, these horrible movies, the
860
00:35:08.909 --> 00:35:12.010
Fast and Furious ones, they're terrible. I find them so bad.
861
00:35:12.030 --> 00:35:14.389
And I grew up with Bollywood, right? So really, my
862
00:35:14.429 --> 00:35:18.230
standards are quite low. But anyway, I remember a couple
863
00:35:18.250 --> 00:35:20.820
of years ago, the last one came out like Fast
864
00:35:20.880 --> 00:35:23.539
and Furious, even more idiotic or whatever it was called.
865
00:35:24.139 --> 00:35:27.159
And my son, who was a teenager at the time,
866
00:35:27.300 --> 00:35:30.150
wanted to see it. It was coming out at like
867
00:35:30.369 --> 00:35:33.050
midnight at the view near us. And he wanted to
868
00:35:33.110 --> 00:35:34.710
see it and he didn't want to go alone, blah, blah, blah,
869
00:35:34.730 --> 00:35:36.530
because then, you know, he'd have to. So he asked
870
00:35:36.570 --> 00:35:38.289
me and I said, yeah, of course I'll go because
871
00:35:38.309 --> 00:35:39.610
you want to go to the movies. And my husband
872
00:35:39.630 --> 00:35:43.030
was like, that's insane. You hate the movie. You don't
873
00:35:43.090 --> 00:35:45.340
like staying up late. But I woke up and I drove.
874
00:35:45.860 --> 00:35:49.739
I criticized the movie for the duration. I was like, what,
875
00:35:49.780 --> 00:35:51.940
now he's flying in a car? Fuck this. And my
876
00:35:51.980 --> 00:35:55.449
son was like, shh, shh. I went with him because
877
00:35:55.489 --> 00:35:58.110
I think those things with kids are fun and it's
878
00:35:58.150 --> 00:36:00.070
about the kids and you do those, but you don't
879
00:36:00.110 --> 00:36:02.340
have to fucking bath time. Come on.
880
00:36:06.130 --> 00:36:08.170
I've got a question then on that. So you've got,
881
00:36:08.789 --> 00:36:16.739
you described late teens. Where do you stand on drinking, partying, relationships?
882
00:36:17.239 --> 00:36:20.820
What I've realized from this conversation is I can't call
883
00:36:21.559 --> 00:36:24.469
your view on Like, you know, with most people you go,
884
00:36:24.530 --> 00:36:26.809
I could probably call what Rob's view would be a
885
00:36:26.869 --> 00:36:30.170
cross and that it's quite consistent, but you work on
886
00:36:30.230 --> 00:36:32.289
a very much a policy by policy basis.
887
00:36:32.349 --> 00:36:36.260
I can't quite- A hundred percent, zero consistency across the, yeah,
888
00:36:36.280 --> 00:36:36.860
there's nothing.
889
00:36:36.940 --> 00:36:37.900
You're not Boris Johnson.
890
00:36:37.980 --> 00:36:44.000
Yeah, wow, wow. But mine is still more scientific than
891
00:36:44.059 --> 00:36:48.010
anything Boris Johnson would do. So that's a very good
892
00:36:48.030 --> 00:36:53.250
question because I'm obviously, you know, quite traditionalist Quite Indian
893
00:36:53.269 --> 00:36:56.610
in the sense of I didn't grow up, you know,
894
00:36:57.030 --> 00:36:59.070
in a drinking culture. Of course, I drink and my
895
00:36:59.309 --> 00:37:02.530
parents drink, but drinking culture, by which I mean getting
896
00:37:02.690 --> 00:37:05.409
completely trollied and vomiting on the streets and this kind
897
00:37:05.449 --> 00:37:08.489
of thing, which is quite common here for teens. So
898
00:37:08.530 --> 00:37:10.570
I had a choice. I could either have been as
899
00:37:11.329 --> 00:37:16.530
stringent and probably lost my teenager in some way because
900
00:37:16.590 --> 00:37:19.230
he is a Western child. I don't care what you say.
901
00:37:19.289 --> 00:37:24.260
He's half Danish. He's been raised here. I'm quite a mix, both,
902
00:37:24.400 --> 00:37:25.920
you know, because I've lived here a long time and
903
00:37:26.460 --> 00:37:28.949
the choices I've made in terms of I'm doing stand
904
00:37:29.010 --> 00:37:31.010
up and this and these are not traditional Indian things.
905
00:37:31.110 --> 00:37:33.929
And he's not being raised in India. So I could
906
00:37:33.989 --> 00:37:36.650
have stuck with my value system and said, oh, it's right.
907
00:37:36.710 --> 00:37:37.130
It's right.
908
00:37:37.809 --> 00:37:39.159
But I think I would have lost him. And I
909
00:37:39.639 --> 00:37:43.360
think for me, a central guiding principle with my children
910
00:37:43.380 --> 00:37:46.699
has always been that my children must always feel that
911
00:37:47.699 --> 00:37:50.320
where I am is home. No matter what they do
912
00:37:50.480 --> 00:37:53.320
and what shit hits the fan and what shit they do,
913
00:37:53.789 --> 00:37:57.250
they should know that they can come home. And to
914
00:37:57.329 --> 00:38:00.070
have that, to engender that feeling in your child, I
915
00:38:00.110 --> 00:38:03.230
think you have to, there has to be a sense
916
00:38:03.289 --> 00:38:05.800
in them that things could get ugly, but they'll always
917
00:38:05.860 --> 00:38:09.820
be okay. There's no judgment that would make them unwelcome.
918
00:38:10.139 --> 00:38:13.260
And I think shame is a very, very, very big
919
00:38:13.300 --> 00:38:17.869
part of this equation. And you have to somehow let
920
00:38:17.909 --> 00:38:21.590
your child know that there is no shame when they
921
00:38:21.610 --> 00:38:23.809
are in front of your eyes. So if that is
922
00:38:23.869 --> 00:38:25.719
my guiding principle, what I had to do was I
923
00:38:25.760 --> 00:38:27.570
had to turn to my Danish husband and be like,
924
00:38:27.639 --> 00:38:30.179
what is with the fucking drinking and fucking? What's the plan?
925
00:38:30.199 --> 00:38:31.480
Because I don't know.
926
00:38:31.500 --> 00:38:36.639
Are we willing to accept whatever he said on that?
927
00:38:36.940 --> 00:38:40.719
Well, we're very good friends. And I didn't at once agree.
928
00:38:40.880 --> 00:38:44.179
We had some back and forth, but I know that
929
00:38:44.199 --> 00:38:47.409
what I thought was, I can't trust myself on this
930
00:38:47.469 --> 00:38:50.599
because all of the signals I have are completely contrary
931
00:38:50.639 --> 00:38:52.659
to the world in which this child is raised. And
932
00:38:52.679 --> 00:38:55.079
also I trust my husband because my husband is a
933
00:38:55.099 --> 00:38:59.460
very conscientious and responsible guy. And I thought, well, fine.
934
00:38:59.500 --> 00:39:01.920
It was very hard in the beginning, really hard. And
935
00:39:02.139 --> 00:39:04.760
my husband used to take my phone away because he'd
936
00:39:04.780 --> 00:39:08.619
be like, he's gone out calling, giving him 83 missed
937
00:39:08.679 --> 00:39:10.260
calls is not going to help.
938
00:39:10.500 --> 00:39:10.820
Oh, yeah.
939
00:39:11.469 --> 00:39:13.550
And so he just would take my phone away. And
940
00:39:13.570 --> 00:39:15.130
then also at that time, I used to speak a
941
00:39:15.150 --> 00:39:19.010
lot to my mother who, uh, passed away in November.
942
00:39:19.190 --> 00:39:20.510
So I don't speak to her now. I mean, I
943
00:39:20.530 --> 00:39:22.789
do in my head, but you know, um, it, I
944
00:39:22.829 --> 00:39:23.849
used to call her and I used to say, oh
945
00:39:23.869 --> 00:39:25.750
my God, I can't believe I didn't marry an Indian
946
00:39:25.789 --> 00:39:29.670
and he's let him out to go drinking and, my
947
00:39:29.690 --> 00:39:31.889
mother used to say to me, she used to always say,
948
00:39:31.969 --> 00:39:33.909
first of all, she used to say, you are very stupid.
949
00:39:34.010 --> 00:39:36.530
She started every sentence like this. You are very stupid.
950
00:39:36.739 --> 00:39:41.360
My son-in-law is a great man. And then she used
951
00:39:41.400 --> 00:39:44.139
to say, don't try and teach him what you don't know.
952
00:39:44.820 --> 00:39:46.820
She used to ask me questions like, are you Danish?
953
00:39:47.599 --> 00:39:51.139
Are you Britisher? Are you a boy? And you're like, no, no, no.
954
00:39:51.300 --> 00:39:52.840
Then why are you trying to teach him?
955
00:39:53.119 --> 00:39:53.440
Shut up.
956
00:39:54.260 --> 00:39:56.500
So I think I just let it go. And then
957
00:39:56.519 --> 00:39:59.840
when I saw that things were not going off the rails,
958
00:40:00.139 --> 00:40:02.119
I started to trust the process. Does that make sense?
959
00:40:02.500 --> 00:40:04.739
The worst feeling for me would be like if my daughter,
960
00:40:04.760 --> 00:40:06.599
when she was a teenager and having a drink and
961
00:40:06.920 --> 00:40:09.030
it was a bit tipsy. I was too scared to
962
00:40:09.070 --> 00:40:11.289
come home in case I bollocked her. And then she
963
00:40:11.309 --> 00:40:13.190
was just sat on the street or her mates waiting
964
00:40:13.210 --> 00:40:15.329
to be sober. You don't want, you know, to be
965
00:40:15.349 --> 00:40:18.489
the parent that goes to the office. But then, you know,
966
00:40:18.750 --> 00:40:20.050
you do want to be able to have a beer
967
00:40:20.070 --> 00:40:21.110
with them in the house if they want.
968
00:40:21.309 --> 00:40:23.250
I didn't want any of that. And, you know, Danes
969
00:40:23.389 --> 00:40:25.869
are very, very good about this stuff. And, you know,
970
00:40:25.929 --> 00:40:28.030
so in the beginning when I was a bit nervous, because,
971
00:40:28.050 --> 00:40:30.230
you know, I mean, let's be honest. I don't care
972
00:40:30.269 --> 00:40:33.329
what you what the world says. Kids are drinking younger
973
00:40:33.369 --> 00:40:37.059
and younger these days, you know. And they're not 16
974
00:40:37.059 --> 00:40:38.840
when they start drinking. No.
975
00:40:39.039 --> 00:40:42.719
I've got absolutely shit faces, a 15-year-old. It was self-serve
976
00:40:42.739 --> 00:40:44.500
vodka and orange. And I came home and I was
977
00:40:44.519 --> 00:40:46.159
sick on the front door and I was sick in
978
00:40:46.179 --> 00:40:49.059
my bed. And then I pissed myself. And I was like, 15?
979
00:40:49.059 --> 00:40:49.780
That's insane.
980
00:40:49.800 --> 00:40:54.019
Well, there you go. As for relationships, I have always thought,
981
00:40:54.699 --> 00:40:56.269
I mean, of course, deep down, I want to arrange
982
00:40:56.349 --> 00:40:59.590
all their marriages, don't I? But I can't. And I mean, I,
983
00:40:59.710 --> 00:41:03.400
you know, I have... people in mind my close friends
984
00:41:03.420 --> 00:41:05.110
who have children who are the right age and I
985
00:41:05.139 --> 00:41:08.369
just somewhere deep down I think well that would be
986
00:41:08.429 --> 00:41:10.170
nice but then I say Sindhu shut up it's never
987
00:41:10.210 --> 00:41:11.110
going to happen.
988
00:41:10.949 --> 00:41:12.469
I think all mums are like that though aren't they
989
00:41:12.670 --> 00:41:15.449
even like western mums my mum would always go she's
990
00:41:15.530 --> 00:41:17.690
nice because she knows the mum and dad it would
991
00:41:17.730 --> 00:41:20.239
be easier for everyone involved if you just got off
992
00:41:20.260 --> 00:41:22.230
with the girl around the corner Uh, yeah.
993
00:41:22.289 --> 00:41:24.250
Maybe not just get off like Mary. That to me
994
00:41:24.289 --> 00:41:26.489
is like the goal. Uh, but you know, and I,
995
00:41:26.730 --> 00:41:29.429
but I've had people in my mind for my children
996
00:41:29.590 --> 00:41:32.869
since my children were four and five, but I don't
997
00:41:32.909 --> 00:41:35.010
say anything about it. I keep it to myself. What
998
00:41:35.050 --> 00:41:38.250
I have spoken to my children about is issues that,
999
00:41:38.630 --> 00:41:40.329
because when it comes to drinking thing, I was less
1000
00:41:40.369 --> 00:41:42.670
certain on this stuff. I'm not at all uncertain. I've,
1001
00:41:42.889 --> 00:41:47.610
I've spoken to them about being responsible. Um, consent, a
1002
00:41:47.670 --> 00:41:50.219
consent has been a big thing in my mind for
1003
00:41:50.260 --> 00:41:54.690
these kids. And so I've talked about being responsible, consent,
1004
00:41:54.789 --> 00:41:57.889
and also try not to come home with someone I
1005
00:41:57.929 --> 00:42:03.210
think is very dull. Because I just don't know how... Like,
1006
00:42:03.289 --> 00:42:04.809
I don't think I have it in me, you know?
1007
00:42:05.650 --> 00:42:07.289
My husband doesn't say anything to them. He's like, I'm
1008
00:42:07.329 --> 00:42:09.170
happy if you're happy, which is, what?
1009
00:42:09.650 --> 00:42:09.869
What?
1010
00:42:10.250 --> 00:42:12.550
On the subject of your husband, we do offer our
1011
00:42:12.570 --> 00:42:15.269
guests a chance that if any grow up or issue
1012
00:42:15.570 --> 00:42:17.929
with something their partner does with parenting, and they don't
1013
00:42:17.949 --> 00:42:20.239
feel like they can ask them or tell them, you know,
1014
00:42:20.260 --> 00:42:23.039
this is your opportunity to, you know, indulge in that.
1015
00:42:23.380 --> 00:42:26.159
Rob, do you really think there's anything I've felt that
1016
00:42:26.199 --> 00:42:28.239
I haven't said to him face to face?
1017
00:42:30.280 --> 00:42:31.699
I did think that would be the response.
1018
00:42:33.190 --> 00:42:35.010
I just don't have anything like that.
1019
00:42:35.530 --> 00:42:37.469
When was the last time you like really lost your
1020
00:42:37.510 --> 00:42:37.969
shit with them?
1021
00:42:38.849 --> 00:42:41.329
Oh God, I don't know. Like, let me think. Probably
1022
00:42:41.369 --> 00:42:42.909
very recently. I mean, I lose my shit on a
1023
00:42:43.170 --> 00:42:46.489
quite regular basis. Over the weekend, I lost my temper because,
1024
00:42:46.909 --> 00:42:48.940
because you know what? 18 plus six is not 22.
1025
00:42:48.940 --> 00:42:51.360
It's not fucking 22. And we've been over it so
1026
00:42:51.380 --> 00:42:54.920
many times. How is 18 plus six 22? What, what
1027
00:42:54.960 --> 00:42:55.599
has happened to you?
1028
00:42:55.699 --> 00:42:56.440
Where, what?
1029
00:42:56.780 --> 00:42:58.920
Like I got crazy. I was running around the house
1030
00:42:58.940 --> 00:43:02.090
saying 22, 22, 22. The dogs were running away. My
1031
00:43:02.150 --> 00:43:04.239
husband was like, just let it go. I got crazy.
1032
00:43:04.239 --> 00:43:07.360
18 plus six should not be 22. Come on.
1033
00:43:07.420 --> 00:43:09.340
I mean, to be fair, I'm still working it out.
1034
00:43:14.179 --> 00:43:16.739
Okay. First of all, I think what I have to
1035
00:43:16.820 --> 00:43:19.090
also put in here is that those years of being
1036
00:43:19.130 --> 00:43:21.369
at home with the children, I was very on it.
1037
00:43:21.610 --> 00:43:23.170
You know, I didn't just say, well, go ahead and
1038
00:43:23.409 --> 00:43:25.780
please get A's and show them to me. I worked
1039
00:43:25.820 --> 00:43:27.829
with them. I figured out what they knew how to do,
1040
00:43:27.869 --> 00:43:31.210
what they didn't know how to do, you know. And
1041
00:43:31.530 --> 00:43:35.530
discipline in practice is a very important part of performance.
1042
00:43:35.570 --> 00:43:38.400
And I think as a stand-up especially, you know, you
1043
00:43:38.440 --> 00:43:40.659
go out and you gig because that's what gets you good.
1044
00:43:41.699 --> 00:43:45.019
So discipline in practice academically is something that I think
1045
00:43:45.039 --> 00:43:47.550
from a young age they've, and I don't think I'm unusual.
1046
00:43:47.570 --> 00:43:49.730
You ask any South Asian parent, they're going to tell
1047
00:43:49.750 --> 00:43:51.739
you this, you know. It's a big part of their day.
1048
00:43:51.760 --> 00:43:52.980
It's like, you have to do this. You have to
1049
00:43:53.019 --> 00:43:54.539
come home from school and you play a little bit.
1050
00:43:54.599 --> 00:43:56.239
You have to do studies. So I think it's kind
1051
00:43:56.280 --> 00:43:59.380
of built into the system. Then there are some, see,
1052
00:43:59.599 --> 00:44:03.119
when I was growing up, you couldn't be bad at anything.
1053
00:44:03.840 --> 00:44:05.719
I don't have that rule. So with like, for example,
1054
00:44:05.780 --> 00:44:07.280
one of my kids is not very good in math,
1055
00:44:07.320 --> 00:44:11.710
but that's fine because they're very good in history. So math,
1056
00:44:11.849 --> 00:44:15.010
I know what the level is. It's the issue is
1057
00:44:15.510 --> 00:44:17.690
what are you bringing to the table today? Are you
1058
00:44:17.710 --> 00:44:20.880
bringing your shitty work ethic for who? The world doesn't
1059
00:44:20.920 --> 00:44:23.119
need that. You bring good work ethic. And then if
1060
00:44:23.139 --> 00:44:25.219
you end up with a B in math, it's fine
1061
00:44:25.239 --> 00:44:26.840
because you've got an A star in history because it
1062
00:44:26.889 --> 00:44:29.250
shows that you're working hard. That stuff is in the
1063
00:44:29.389 --> 00:44:31.789
system in this house. And that's very much from me.
1064
00:44:32.630 --> 00:44:34.590
And I also think if they say, well, but that
1065
00:44:34.630 --> 00:44:36.760
doesn't make me happy. I'm like, no one cares.
1066
00:44:37.400 --> 00:44:41.280
Zero. To be fair, I was never that great academically,
1067
00:44:41.300 --> 00:44:43.900
but I put all the effort in I could. So
1068
00:44:43.940 --> 00:44:45.920
as long as they try their best, that's fine by me.
1069
00:44:46.219 --> 00:44:49.000
It's the effort and it's the work. I think children
1070
00:44:49.079 --> 00:44:50.980
should have a sense of responsibility of what the fuck
1071
00:44:51.019 --> 00:44:53.559
they're doing here. And also, they have to have some
1072
00:44:53.639 --> 00:44:57.559
sensibility for their parents. Like, what are you doing today
1073
00:44:57.599 --> 00:44:58.539
that's doing for me?
1074
00:44:58.820 --> 00:44:59.099
Hello?
1075
00:44:59.820 --> 00:45:02.480
I've got one last question, Sindhu, which I'm fascinated by,
1076
00:45:02.500 --> 00:45:07.190
because you have an excellent use of the word fuck
1077
00:45:07.550 --> 00:45:10.659
when you're really making a point. And what is your
1078
00:45:10.699 --> 00:45:12.750
ruling on that? When you say, what the fuck are
1079
00:45:12.769 --> 00:45:15.670
you doing here? Is that what you're saying to them?
1080
00:45:16.010 --> 00:45:20.969
Well, not when they're little. But now sometimes if the
1081
00:45:20.989 --> 00:45:25.469
teenagers really get on my nerves, because they'll push you
1082
00:45:25.510 --> 00:45:28.960
and they'll argue and they'll say things. They'll make comments
1083
00:45:29.420 --> 00:45:32.750
that are intended to make me feel... to put me down.
1084
00:45:32.809 --> 00:45:35.710
You know, sometimes I'll say something about my comedy or something. And,
1085
00:45:35.949 --> 00:45:38.050
and I think that's fair. Don't, I mean, they're not
1086
00:45:38.090 --> 00:45:40.409
being rude. They're sort of pushing boundaries and they want
1087
00:45:40.429 --> 00:45:43.489
to have a discussion and yeah, fine. I'm here for that.
1088
00:45:43.530 --> 00:45:47.840
That's fine. But I, so my mother swore a lot
1089
00:45:48.760 --> 00:45:50.139
and she swore in front of us. She came from
1090
00:45:50.159 --> 00:45:52.599
a very feudal family in which swearing is sort of
1091
00:45:52.940 --> 00:45:55.920
women swear behind closed doors. So they don't swear in
1092
00:45:55.960 --> 00:45:57.739
front of the men, the male folk, but they swear
1093
00:45:57.760 --> 00:45:59.500
in front of their kids. And she had it down
1094
00:45:59.539 --> 00:46:03.530
to an art form. And, She then, when she became
1095
00:46:03.570 --> 00:46:06.440
a therapist and trained in America, returned from America and
1096
00:46:06.480 --> 00:46:10.619
started saying things like, fuck your asshole. And we were like, what?
1097
00:46:11.179 --> 00:46:13.699
She started, we're like, I don't think it's fuck your asshole.
1098
00:46:13.719 --> 00:46:17.139
I think it's fuck you asshole, but okay. She started
1099
00:46:17.260 --> 00:46:23.920
using English bad words like extensively, much to, it was hilarious, hilarious,
1100
00:46:23.980 --> 00:46:28.030
but she had that energy. And I I absorbed that
1101
00:46:28.150 --> 00:46:30.489
without realizing. I never swore in front of my parents.
1102
00:46:30.550 --> 00:46:32.469
But as soon as I left the house, I was
1103
00:46:32.530 --> 00:46:36.329
like potty mouth. And then I joined a trading floor.
1104
00:46:36.349 --> 00:46:40.639
I mean, swearing on the trading floor is normal. You know,
1105
00:46:41.380 --> 00:46:42.840
what happened is when I had kids, I had to
1106
00:46:42.860 --> 00:46:48.119
very consciously not swear in front of them. That didn't
1107
00:46:48.219 --> 00:46:52.230
last forever. I started with shit and then it went
1108
00:46:52.269 --> 00:46:56.329
from there. And then I remember my firstborn was, I
1109
00:46:56.369 --> 00:46:59.170
don't know, he was not yet 10 and something came
1110
00:46:59.250 --> 00:47:00.750
up and it was about a bad word. He didn't
1111
00:47:00.769 --> 00:47:03.130
really use it or maybe he used shit or something.
1112
00:47:03.170 --> 00:47:04.469
And I turned to him, I remember I pulled the
1113
00:47:04.510 --> 00:47:06.530
car over and I turned to him and I said,
1114
00:47:06.550 --> 00:47:09.289
listen to me, man, it's a big deal if you
1115
00:47:09.329 --> 00:47:13.239
swear because it's my fault, but I can't stop swearing.
1116
00:47:13.280 --> 00:47:17.039
So here's the deal. When you become a mother and
1117
00:47:17.059 --> 00:47:18.559
he said, mommy, that's never going to happen.
1118
00:47:18.599 --> 00:47:19.420
I said, okay, a father.
1119
00:47:20.000 --> 00:47:22.699
Then you can swear. But if you swear now, I'll
1120
00:47:22.739 --> 00:47:24.610
get into trouble and I have no time for that.
1121
00:47:24.659 --> 00:47:28.670
So don't you ever, ever swear. And he didn't. And
1122
00:47:29.110 --> 00:47:31.630
when you have one kid and you set, here's the thing,
1123
00:47:31.650 --> 00:47:33.670
because Josh, you only have one, right?
1124
00:47:33.989 --> 00:47:34.170
Yeah.
1125
00:47:34.389 --> 00:47:36.750
Set the tone because number two and three, they just follow.
1126
00:47:36.769 --> 00:47:38.550
They just fall into line more or less.
1127
00:47:38.570 --> 00:47:39.429
Oh, I'm in trouble.
1128
00:47:40.659 --> 00:47:42.380
More or less. So, yeah, so they don't swear. I
1129
00:47:43.280 --> 00:47:47.699
think children's respect for parents is not necessarily, doesn't have
1130
00:47:47.780 --> 00:47:50.659
to be expressed through in traditional ways.
1131
00:47:51.280 --> 00:47:51.500
Yeah.
1132
00:47:51.900 --> 00:47:54.170
You know, and you know if your child respects you.
1133
00:47:54.179 --> 00:47:56.079
And also they have a certain ease around you, right?
1134
00:47:56.440 --> 00:47:56.539
Yeah.
1135
00:47:56.599 --> 00:47:59.300
And that's very nice because they're not thinking, oh, I'm
1136
00:47:59.340 --> 00:48:01.960
now with my parents and I'm now not with my parents.
1137
00:48:01.980 --> 00:48:03.760
Of course, he has a much better time with his friends,
1138
00:48:04.420 --> 00:48:07.019
but he should feel, because that's when they talk to
1139
00:48:07.059 --> 00:48:09.449
you is when they have that sense of ease, you know?
1140
00:48:09.780 --> 00:48:11.960
Sindhu, it's been amazing. Thank you so much.
1141
00:48:11.980 --> 00:48:13.239
This was so fun.
1142
00:48:13.500 --> 00:48:15.360
It's been a pleasure to talk to you genuinely. I
1143
00:48:15.940 --> 00:48:18.050
am absolutely fucking terrified of you.
1144
00:48:18.429 --> 00:48:19.280
Don't be terrified of me.
1145
00:48:19.309 --> 00:48:20.889
To be honest, and I mean this as a kind
1146
00:48:20.929 --> 00:48:24.929
of compliment, I understand you less now than an hour ago.
1147
00:48:24.949 --> 00:48:30.949
LAUGHTER I much prefer the two-dimensional figure, Sindhu.
1148
00:48:31.409 --> 00:48:32.789
Oh, I'm sorry.
1149
00:48:32.809 --> 00:48:37.010
LAUGHTER Thank you so much.
1150
00:48:37.210 --> 00:48:38.449
Thank you, Sindhu. It's been brilliant.
1151
00:48:38.469 --> 00:48:40.349
Thank you so much, you guys. It was fun.
1152
00:48:42.949 --> 00:48:45.389
Sindhu V there. I absolutely love that.
1153
00:48:46.070 --> 00:48:47.150
She's very scary.
1154
00:48:47.889 --> 00:48:50.550
Yes. Yes. But do you know what? You know, like
1155
00:48:50.590 --> 00:48:54.610
Jose Mourinho or someone like that, who's got that fear factor,
1156
00:48:54.630 --> 00:48:57.590
but also you go out and play for them. Do
1157
00:48:57.610 --> 00:48:58.489
you know that?
1158
00:48:58.550 --> 00:49:02.530
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because you were so spot on, though,
1159
00:49:02.550 --> 00:49:05.250
because the idea I had of Sindhu, because she's spoken
1160
00:49:05.329 --> 00:49:07.349
about it in the past, being very academic driven and
1161
00:49:07.369 --> 00:49:09.110
quite strict with her kids. And they've got to be
1162
00:49:09.130 --> 00:49:10.730
grown up so they don't baby them and stuff like that.
1163
00:49:10.750 --> 00:49:12.590
And then she's like, yeah, I've just taken them to
1164
00:49:12.610 --> 00:49:15.590
Disneyland on my own. I'd never imagined she'd have done that.
1165
00:49:16.010 --> 00:49:18.130
But I think maybe that's how she can get away
1166
00:49:18.170 --> 00:49:20.090
with being so strictly like that, where they go... look,
1167
00:49:20.130 --> 00:49:22.050
she's not just a lunatic. She's really fun and a
1168
00:49:22.070 --> 00:49:23.969
good mum. She's not just a lunatic. No, but you
1169
00:49:23.989 --> 00:49:26.360
know when someone's just like, are you my dad or mum,
1170
00:49:26.449 --> 00:49:28.260
or are you just this lunatic who screams at me
1171
00:49:28.280 --> 00:49:30.219
if I don't get good grades? Because if that's the case,
1172
00:49:30.260 --> 00:49:31.659
what is the point in life? Do you know what
1173
00:49:31.679 --> 00:49:32.920
I mean? I know you've got to get a good
1174
00:49:32.960 --> 00:49:34.280
job and do well, but you've got to have the
1175
00:49:34.340 --> 00:49:36.539
fun as well. And I think taking your kids out
1176
00:49:36.559 --> 00:49:39.739
of school For a pretend dentist appointment to go to
1177
00:49:39.800 --> 00:49:44.920
cinema is such a power move for a parent. I'd
1178
00:49:45.000 --> 00:49:46.579
love my parents so much if they did that. Imagine
1179
00:49:46.599 --> 00:49:47.820
getting taken out of school for that.
1180
00:49:48.159 --> 00:49:49.599
That's your absolute dream.
1181
00:49:50.139 --> 00:49:50.320
Yeah.
1182
00:49:50.340 --> 00:49:52.860
Because you think you're going to the dentist.
1183
00:49:53.599 --> 00:49:54.739
Exactly.
1184
00:49:55.079 --> 00:49:57.800
It's not even that you think that it's just another
1185
00:49:57.840 --> 00:49:59.840
day at school. You think it's something worse than school.
1186
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:01.360
But then, do you know what's worse, Rob?
1187
00:50:01.679 --> 00:50:02.050
What's that?
1188
00:50:02.429 --> 00:50:04.570
Next time, when you are going to the dentist and
1189
00:50:04.590 --> 00:50:06.889
you're like, see you later, lads, I'm off to watch Monsters, Inc.
1190
00:50:07.090 --> 00:50:13.789
LAUGHTER You can't buy train tracks. Anyway, thank you for listening. Bye.