S01 EP6: Jason Manford

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Hello, I'm Josh Whitacombe.
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And I'm Rob Beckett.
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Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob
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and I discuss what it's like to be a parent
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during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky.
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Yeah!
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Yeah! So, in an effort to make some kind of
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sense of the current situation... And.
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To make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills.
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Each episode we'll be chatting to a famous parent about
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how well they're coping.
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Or hopefully not.
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And we will be hearing from you, the listener, with
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your tales of lockdown parenting woe.
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Because, let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing.
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Hello and welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell with me... Rob Beckett.
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And me. Josh, we're good too.
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Oh, I love that.
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Love that.
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She wants a fee, though, my daughter, for that.
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Has she got an agent?
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She's got an agent, yeah. Same one as me. How
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you been, Josh?
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I've been all right, you know. It's been fine. Still
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not got any knives or forks, but, you know, you
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can't have everything.
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You can't just spoon, innit? Just have soup.
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Yeah, exactly. The spoon doesn't fit in the lantern, so
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we get to keep our spoons. Oh, great.
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That's the dream.
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How have you been, Rob? Well, I know how you've been.
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Oh, yes.
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Because you've been sending me some voice memos.
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Yeah, well, before we do this, I should say last
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week was talking about people being best friends with their mums.
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Yeah.
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And is that really a thing? And my two-year-old hates
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me now, all of a sudden, has decided that she's
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got no time for me. And I've got no part
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of her life. So we might as well do our
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new feature. Josh, what are you calling it?
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Dispatches from the Parenting Frontline.
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Lovely.
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So shall we just listen to what you sent me
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this week?
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Let's do it.
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You're the best friend.
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Oh, thank you.
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Can you say it again?
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Mummy.
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Is Mummy your best friend?
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Yeah.
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What about Daddy?
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No.
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So who's your best friend?
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Who's your best friend?
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Mummy.
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I'm not going to lie to you. I don't think
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your wife is on your side in this battle. If anything,
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she's feeding the problem.
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That's what I thought, Josh. She is drawing that out
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of the child. And then she said that to me,
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apropos of nothing, and went, oh, not trying to be mean,
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but I thought it might be quite funny on the podcast.
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So now she's self-produced herself into the podcast. They look
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like this sort of incredible mum. And I'm this annoying
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bloke who's just in the house.
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But it's a leading question, isn't it? It's a leading question.
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In court, I don't think that would be acceptable. I mean,
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it would be a weird question in court. Who's your
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best friend?
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Yeah. Well, to be fair, it had happened earlier when
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I went, love you. And she went, no. I went,
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I love you. She went, no. And she just went
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to me, you're not my best friend. Out of nothing.
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Out of nowhere. But I think they're just bored of me.
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We've been indoors with each other a lot. I'm used
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to being away a lot. And it's even like, you know, Luke,
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you know, dropping off at preschool. So I think they're
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just bored of us as people.
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Yeah, I understand that. I understand. I understand being bored
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of you. That's the thing. It's difficult, that preferential thing,
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because there's part of me. When my daughter decides that
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she doesn't like me, so she wants her mum to
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do the nappy, that is offended. There's another part of
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me that thinks, fucking get in. Absolutely delighted with this.
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And then I do leading questions. Off the back of that,
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I'll go, oh, you need someone to wipe your bum.
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Do you want mummy to do it? Yeah, mummy, yeah, mummy,
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go mummy.
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And then when you're in favour, so I've had, you know,
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you have periods in and out of favour. So you
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have some periods where I'm the favoured one. I'm bloody hell,
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I can't get anything done at all.
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I tell you how to make yourself not the favoured
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one is when they're bigger and they start, you know,
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going to the toilet themselves and they still need their
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bum wiped. The first time you wear up a child's
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bum with tissue paper instead of a wet wipe, they
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react to you like you've just lit a match underneath
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their arse. They are furious. They just go like, what
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are you doing? Why is that dry and why is
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it not white? What's going on? And you're like, this
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is just what happens. As you get older, you've got
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to use a bit of tissue to wipe your ass.
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That's just life.
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Do you know what, though?
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You say that, obviously, and that's what we all do.
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But when you said that, I did think, I bet
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it is good with a wet wipe. Maybe I'll go
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back to wet wipes.
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Look, I've dabbled with wet wipes. The only issue is
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you can't chuck them down the toilet, obviously.
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Oh, yeah.
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So now you've just got a bin full of soaking
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wet ass wipes. Yeah.
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So if you were to invent a flushable wet wipe,
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that would be the dream.
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Scenario, wouldn't it?
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They do exist, but I'm dubious about their flushability.
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You don't want them to find out that you're the
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one responsible for blocking the sewage because you've been wiping
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your own arse with wet wipes. That would be a disaster.
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A terrible PR headline for me in the sun. That
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would be. Lockdown arse wiping rule breaker Beckett popped to
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the shops of flushable wet wipes to give his arse
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a clean wet wipe.
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I reckon, I'm going to call it, they'd come up
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with a snappier headline than that.
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But do you.
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Want some emails?
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Yes, please. It's the Lockdown Parenting Mailbag. But it's actually
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emails and there's no bag.
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So I've got a couple for you, Rob. Dominic Clark,
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we were talking about, I think I was talking about
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my struggle with making my child eat all of a
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pan of chocolate rather than just the chocolate bit. And
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how I then realized that the rest of it wasn't
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good for them. So this is from Dominic Clark. Josh's
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comment about the pan of chocolate made me remember a
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particular lockdown parenting low. One mealtime we were having freezer kill.
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In this instance, it was a frozen pizza, alphabet shape
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and peas. I added the peas to demonstrate I'm not
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an entirely neglectful parent. As usual, my three-year-old was talking
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a lot and not eating a lot. So I found
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myself saying the following. If you don't eat your pizza,
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you won't get any ice cream. As if the pizza
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was the healthy bit which she ate to be rewarded.
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Isn't that a low moment that you're trying to force it?
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I am living my life. If I could have pizza
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for every meal as an adult, I would do it.
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I'd stay away from pizza. As a child... being kind
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of having to be talked into pizza with the bribe
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of ice cream.
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I know.
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They don't know how good they've got it.
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I mean, I'm already thinking about what my three pizzas
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a day would be. I'm going off, I'm having an
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egg in the middle for breakfast, veggie at lunch, and
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then pepperoni for dinner. That's a clean three meals a day.
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I have a pizza at the weekend from takeaway on lockdown.
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It's like my treat to myself, which is pathetic. It's
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pathetic though, isn't it really? That's what I'm looking forward
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to as I record this.
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What will you get? What kind of pizza is it?
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Is it like a.
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Margarita, mate.
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Love it. Can I ask you a question?
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Yeah.
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Domino's and Papa John's, right?
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The dip.
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What's better? What garlic dip do you prefer? The Papa
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John's one?
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The Domino's one.
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Yes.
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But that's because it's got memories for me as well
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because I used to have Domino's so much when I
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was at university.
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Oh, right.
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So it's nostalgia.
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I can't separate it from a kind of nostalgic hit
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because the Domino's opposite my university... used to do a
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deal which was $ 1. 99 for a small margarita, which I'd
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probably have five times a week.
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So cheap.
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Yeah, it was so cheap. And just you could at
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that point in your life because you had a metabolism, right?
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This feels like a paid-for advertisement from 15 years ago.
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And I phoned up once and I said, could I
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get the small cheese and tomato to pick up? And
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they said, what's your name? I said, Josh. And they went,
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is that the Josh? And I thought, this has gone
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on too far.
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A mini 199 margarita pizza sounds like the treat of
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a widow. Do you know what I mean? That's too small, Josh. Like, oh,
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he has his little pizza every Thursday.
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Did you see the queue of those cars queuing up
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for KFC?
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Yeah.
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Right, so there was all these people queuing up for
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this KFC drive-thru that's opened. And I was looking at that,
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and this sums up what my life is like. I
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was genuinely thinking, I'd love to be sat in a
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traffic jam in a car on my own. Imagine the
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joy of being alone in a car in a traffic jam.
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The chicken seems by the by.
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Oh, I just get to the front and I carry
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on driving and just go round to the back and go,
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I'm just here for the traffic jam. Just some alone time.
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Sorry, I got panicked. I didn't have enough time to think.
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Let me join the back of the queue. You carry on,
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you go, you go. Or just sit there and just
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let people go ahead of you, you know, like in
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a supermarket. You just want wings? Go ahead. You're just
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getting wings, just go ahead. I'll go next.
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I would do anything to be in a queue. So this,
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another one from Sarah Page. Hi, Rob and Josh. I'm
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currently trying to homeschool my five and three-year-old boys, struggling massively.
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The only break I get is letting them play zookeeper
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with our five chickens. It started with them checking for eggs,
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giving them seed, et cetera. The next thing, their fear
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has gone. They're picking up the chickens, running around the
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garden in an escalation out of control. Last week, I
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went outside and they were putting the chickens down the slide.
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At the weekend, my five-year-old was making an assault course
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around the garden. We thought this was good, keeping him entertained.
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Then he said he was going to put the chickens
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on it, saying he was going to check whether the
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chickens could do parkour. Now, obviously, the chickens didn't do that.
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It was all fine.
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They do peckle.
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But... Oh, yes, please, Rob.
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It's really strong stuff. Thanks, mate. Yeah, I was hoping.
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Really good. I'm a bit nervous to do it.
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No, I think it's fine. Yeah, thanks, mate.
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But.
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She said, I walked away as I heard my husband
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shouting over, chickens cannot do parkour. A sentence I never
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thought would need to be said. We should add that
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she says, oh, the chickens are completely fine. They haven't
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done any parkour. Don't panic. So don't get in touch.
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If you're worried about the chickens. get in touch about
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the KFC bit.
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Right. How do they get in touch, Josh?
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This is how you get in touch.
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Email us hello at lockdownparenting.co.uk or we're on Twitter at lockdownparents.
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Our guest this week is Jason Manford. He's a comedian, actor, singer.
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He does everything now, doesn't he? Podcast, radio.
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Renaissance man.
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Renaissance man. And he's homeschooling six children.
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Enjoy.
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Hello, Jason Manford. How are you?
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I'm well.
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How are you?
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We're all right, yeah. Do you know what? We're feeling
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better for doing this, aren't we, Rob?
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Yeah, and I love that energy, Jason. You're full of beans.
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Well, you know, I would like to say this was
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a purely selfless act, but it just gets us upstairs
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by myself.
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For an hour.
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Nice, isn't it?
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Considering I'm out of work, I've never been busier. I
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need to go and do this just for nothing. But
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I'm going to go and do that.
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Would you have done this out of lockdown? Absolutely not.
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Absolutely not.
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So, Jason, we should. This is a podcast, basically, that
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we set up because, you know, we've got I've got
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a two year old and a four year old. Josh
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has got a two-year-old and it's brutal and it's hard work.
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So he wanted to speak to other parents in lockdown
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and find out how they're coping. What's your setup, Jason?
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It must be really hard for you guys. It must
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be so hard. So hard there.
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What's your setup at the moment?
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My setup is that I have to be Ofsted checked
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every so often because I have so many children in
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my house.
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To do the school run, I have a deal with
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Finland's buses. It's mental.
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So basically, I have six children. And I have four
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children with my ex-wife. I have two children with my
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new wife. She doesn't like being called that.
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And I'm like, what, the middle one? I don't know.
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So I have six children in our house. And at
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the moment, during this period of lockdown.
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The children are between our two lockdown houses. My big
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four children are between my two lockdown houses. So we
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have half the week with six children in the house
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and the other half the week with just the two
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little ones who are two and four.
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And which is your favourite half of the week, Jase?
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Favourite child? The two-year-old. LAUGHTER um and like didn't even
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think about answering the two-year-old he's asleep at seven no um.
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Sorry go on which are my favorite what so so
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how do your two parts of week differ yeah i
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mean they it's very different you know i've got one
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half of the week where it is full-on homeschooling getting
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stuff sent through from the schools uh trying to work
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out i mean basically it's Teaching is a tough job.
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Don't get me wrong.
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I've got a lot of respect for teachers, but it's
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about 75% printing. There's a lot of printing.
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The trees are taking a battering.
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There's a lot of printing. When we eventually get back outside,
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we'll be like, where are the trees at?
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We use them all.
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Homeschooling.
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Yeah, so there's a lot of that going on. So
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the homeschooling is good.
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And it's interesting. I mean, mine are all, my eldest
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girls are 10. The twin girls are 10.
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Then I have a nine-year-old girl, a seven-year-old boy, and
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then a four-year-old and a two-year-old.
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I need a moment just to take that in. I'd
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say that is the most difficult span. You've got the young,
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nutter ones, and then the older ones that are challenging
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you with algebra and stuff.
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That's a brutal, brutal lockdown. I thought I was pretty clever.
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I didn't realise how thick I was.
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I mean, I don't even know what to Google to
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find out the answer. I don't know what the question is.
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i don't know how to google it we were.
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Doing active and passive verbs yesterday and active and passive
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sentences and i was genuinely learning it for the first
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time like i don't even remember this coming up as
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a kid do they all.
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Get on like do they police each other in a way.
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Or well yeah in a sort of like uh you
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know like american police like a bit harsh um.
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They do please each other. They're pretty good.
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I mean, what's quite handy, like, for example, when we
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were doing active and passive sentences yesterday, is my eldest
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girl acts almost like a teaching assistant.
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So I'm sort of able to go, sweetheart, just come
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over here.
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Just explain to me exactly what this means so I
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can teach.
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The other children. So there's a bit of that going on. But, no,
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generally they're fine.
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I mean, obviously it's always hard trying to get a
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10-year-old to play with a 2-year-old.
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And weirdly, after all day at school, in inverted.
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Commas, and they keep moaning about it, oh, God, you know,
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and I.
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Keep saying to them, I'm just honest with them. I say, look, guys,
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this is new for me as well. I don't know
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what I'm doing.
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And this is not my job. I don't know how
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to do this. And I'm just guessing and getting us
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through this. So the only way we can do this
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is to try and get through it together as a team.
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And we are literally a team.
355
00:15:20.429 --> 00:15:22.169
And what does the two-year-old say to that?
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The two-year-old, I've got to say, just says, can I
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have an ice pot? And I say, help yourself to
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the freezer. And the knives are up on the shelf
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00:15:30.750 --> 00:15:35.120
to chop it in half. But generally, we just keep talking,
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I think. That seems to be the the trick is
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we can have a laugh and there's moments where we,
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you know, we sort of lose it or whatever. And
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what we try to do every day is to just
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talk about the situation and just try and explain it
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to each other what our frustrations are. Because you, it's
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easy to sort of think sometimes when I look.
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At the kids, I think, God, I would have loved
368
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this when I was a kid.
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Yeah.
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I would have loved it.
371
00:15:57.129 --> 00:15:59.210
Well, when I was a kid, like, I know it's
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totally different, but because I'd lived on Dartmoor, I used
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to get a week a year off due to snow. Right. Like,
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just because the bus couldn't get through. And I could
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not believe that. Like, that was the greatest. And I
376
00:16:13.419 --> 00:16:14.080
don't think it's like.
377
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It's the dream.
378
00:16:14.980 --> 00:16:16.340
It was the dream. Yeah.
379
00:16:16.419 --> 00:16:19.360
And my parents didn't have to homeschool me for a week.
380
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No.
381
00:16:19.919 --> 00:16:20.539
So it was like.
382
00:16:20.700 --> 00:16:21.419
That would not have happened.
383
00:16:21.440 --> 00:16:24.029
I'd just get to watch Neighbours twice. Do you know
384
00:16:24.049 --> 00:16:24.269
what I mean?
385
00:16:24.309 --> 00:16:25.129
It was unbelievable.
386
00:16:25.149 --> 00:16:26.129
You had a good time.
387
00:16:26.190 --> 00:16:28.070
But if this happened in the 70s, no one would
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00:16:28.110 --> 00:16:29.090
be homeschooling their kids.
389
00:16:29.429 --> 00:16:33.190
Absolutely not. You'd be like, go and do some forest schooling.
390
00:16:33.570 --> 00:16:33.789
Yeah.
391
00:16:33.889 --> 00:16:36.299
Off your butt. Off you go, go and play with
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00:16:36.320 --> 00:16:37.259
a stick for three hours.
393
00:16:37.440 --> 00:16:40.049
That's your new friend. Yeah, it definitely wouldn't have happened.
394
00:16:40.409 --> 00:16:43.370
But in general, we've got a very odd relationship with
395
00:16:43.789 --> 00:16:47.590
our children because we're of a generation of people who
396
00:16:47.710 --> 00:16:52.100
like to be liked. And this is right across society.
397
00:16:52.259 --> 00:16:56.559
Anyone born late 70s, early 80s and onwards were brought
398
00:16:56.659 --> 00:17:02.549
up in a society that craves... acceptance and craves to
399
00:17:02.570 --> 00:17:04.759
be liked. And that's, that's gone all the way through history,
400
00:17:04.779 --> 00:17:06.579
of course, but it's never been more heightened than it
401
00:17:06.619 --> 00:17:09.920
has with the internet generation. Literally getting a like on
402
00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:14.230
Facebook releases the same endorphins in your brain as, you know,
403
00:17:14.410 --> 00:17:16.349
a rapper whiz or whatever, you know what I mean?
404
00:17:16.390 --> 00:17:21.150
So, It's a drug, which is my drug reference of choice.
405
00:17:21.170 --> 00:17:29.380
And so what's hard is parenting when your children sometimes
406
00:17:29.440 --> 00:17:32.019
don't like you because as a parent, occasionally you've got
407
00:17:32.039 --> 00:17:34.799
to make decisions and do things where your parent doesn't.
408
00:17:34.819 --> 00:17:37.089
So if your child, the person you love the most
409
00:17:37.130 --> 00:17:40.849
in the world, doesn't like you, even for a fraction
410
00:17:40.890 --> 00:17:43.190
of a minute, you're devastated.
411
00:17:43.210 --> 00:17:44.630
Whereas our parents.
412
00:17:45.369 --> 00:17:46.029
They didn't care.
413
00:17:46.049 --> 00:17:49.410
They didn't care whether you liked them or not.
414
00:17:49.609 --> 00:17:51.190
They used to say it to your face. I'm not
415
00:17:51.210 --> 00:17:53.289
here to be your mate. I'm just trying to get
416
00:17:53.309 --> 00:17:56.390
you through. Make sure you stay alive. I used to
417
00:17:56.410 --> 00:17:58.579
threaten to leave home three times a week, two times.
418
00:17:58.599 --> 00:17:59.480
My dad would help me pack.
419
00:18:02.259 --> 00:18:05.400
Where do you want dropping? Have you lost it with
420
00:18:05.420 --> 00:18:06.940
your kids at any point? You know, you're sort of
421
00:18:06.960 --> 00:18:09.539
trying to be quite calm about it, the frustrations, but
422
00:18:09.640 --> 00:18:11.059
it's been so, you're just blown.
423
00:18:11.400 --> 00:18:13.339
Yeah, the first PE with Joe.
424
00:18:16.660 --> 00:18:18.299
They were looking at me like I was mental.
425
00:18:18.559 --> 00:18:23.000
But I've got to say, I'm appreciating his time.
426
00:18:24.569 --> 00:18:26.069
And we enjoy his class and we do it every day.
427
00:18:27.130 --> 00:18:29.349
But at the same time, if he ends up Sports
428
00:18:29.529 --> 00:18:32.390
Personality of the Year, I wouldn't be surprised.
429
00:18:33.960 --> 00:18:36.140
There's not much competition, is it? Exactly.
430
00:18:36.160 --> 00:18:38.349
I mean, what's he going to do? And the winner is.
431
00:18:38.950 --> 00:18:41.490
Yeah, Lingard for keeping yuppies in his garden that he
432
00:18:41.509 --> 00:18:45.109
put on Insta.
433
00:18:45.150 --> 00:18:46.859
Yeah. Are you missing sports, Jason?
434
00:18:47.420 --> 00:18:49.460
Oh, my God. Yeah, so bad.
435
00:18:49.500 --> 00:18:52.079
I mean, I've been listening to, like, the Match of
436
00:18:52.099 --> 00:18:54.700
the Day lads have got... a podcast out where they
437
00:18:54.720 --> 00:18:56.579
just talk about old football games.
438
00:18:56.599 --> 00:18:58.839
There's nothing to say, is there?
439
00:18:59.140 --> 00:19:00.900
There's nothing to say, there's nothing to say.
440
00:19:01.109 --> 00:19:04.670
But what's weird is you realise what you add, you know,
441
00:19:04.690 --> 00:19:08.769
because I'm a fan that generally just watched my football team.
442
00:19:08.930 --> 00:19:10.509
I think I was more of a Man City fan
443
00:19:10.789 --> 00:19:13.740
than I was a football fan. Like, I love football,
444
00:19:13.759 --> 00:19:15.279
but I love Man City, so I would watch them.
445
00:19:15.640 --> 00:19:18.279
And then I would watch the big games at Chelsea, Arsenal,
446
00:19:18.299 --> 00:19:21.589
you know, Liverpool, Everton or whatever. if these be, but now,
447
00:19:22.109 --> 00:19:26.200
oh my God, I would watch Scottish third division.
448
00:19:26.220 --> 00:19:29.599
I know. I mean, I'd watch two lads in the
449
00:19:29.640 --> 00:19:31.839
park right now. Just have a kick them out.
450
00:19:33.359 --> 00:19:36.359
I've heard whispers going like on Twitter and they're going,
451
00:19:36.559 --> 00:19:39.269
you do know that there's a Belarus are still playing.
452
00:19:39.619 --> 00:19:43.529
You can watch the Belarusian top flight and I'm nearly
453
00:19:43.549 --> 00:19:45.410
downloading it. I'm like, what are you doing?
454
00:19:45.430 --> 00:19:46.630
I know, I know.
455
00:19:48.250 --> 00:19:50.779
Are you watching a lot of TV? Like, have you
456
00:19:50.819 --> 00:19:52.400
got rules on TV and stuff.
457
00:19:52.240 --> 00:19:52.759
With your kids?
458
00:19:52.880 --> 00:19:55.460
I mean, usually what we have is on their iPads,
459
00:19:55.799 --> 00:19:58.799
there's like, you know, you can do family iPads, family sharing.
460
00:20:00.559 --> 00:20:02.059
And so I have a thing where I can access
461
00:20:02.319 --> 00:20:05.299
their screen time and, you know, they get an hour
462
00:20:05.339 --> 00:20:05.640
a day.
463
00:20:06.240 --> 00:20:08.720
And the first week, I put that up to two hours.
464
00:20:09.430 --> 00:20:10.069
I thought, you know.
465
00:20:10.450 --> 00:20:14.160
And then, what are we, week six now? I just
466
00:20:14.240 --> 00:20:16.339
deleted it. I was like, just do what you want.
467
00:20:16.599 --> 00:20:18.880
I can't even police this anymore.
468
00:20:23.859 --> 00:20:25.029
How are you doing with food, Jason?
469
00:20:26.150 --> 00:20:30.799
Yeah, too well, if any good. Are you feeding six?
470
00:20:30.839 --> 00:20:33.519
Must be tough, isn't it? Yeah, that is difficult.
471
00:20:33.920 --> 00:20:36.619
And also what's hard is going to the supermarket and
472
00:20:36.720 --> 00:20:40.259
not looking like you're stockpiling when.
473
00:20:40.069 --> 00:20:42.130
All you're actually doing is feeding your own family.
474
00:20:44.809 --> 00:20:46.430
It's like, why are we only having half a banana?
475
00:20:46.450 --> 00:20:50.650
You're like, well, we're only allowed three. So, yeah, it
476
00:20:50.690 --> 00:20:53.890
has been difficult. What I did at the beginning, again,
477
00:20:55.009 --> 00:20:56.450
Jason at the beginning of lockdown.
478
00:20:59.940 --> 00:21:01.680
What a guy he was you could have learned a
479
00:21:01.720 --> 00:21:04.200
lot from him i was doing family plans we were
480
00:21:04.220 --> 00:21:07.500
going through uh we were going through recipe books i
481
00:21:07.519 --> 00:21:10.039
was getting the kids to pick their favorite recipes because
482
00:21:10.099 --> 00:21:11.940
in all honesty you know and this is a hard
483
00:21:11.980 --> 00:21:14.440
thing to admit especially from someone who is you know
484
00:21:14.460 --> 00:21:16.529
i'm a family man and you know i i talk
485
00:21:16.569 --> 00:21:18.369
about my kids a lot but i was on i've
486
00:21:18.390 --> 00:21:21.069
been on tour since october i'm away six nights a
487
00:21:21.109 --> 00:21:23.789
week uh and then we're back two nights and then
488
00:21:23.829 --> 00:21:26.609
i you know commute a little bit but Genuinely, on
489
00:21:26.650 --> 00:21:28.809
the way back from Leicester, when we finished our last,
490
00:21:28.849 --> 00:21:30.910
we did the last Monday show before the lockdown come
491
00:21:30.950 --> 00:21:33.490
down in full force. Driving home, I did have a
492
00:21:33.529 --> 00:21:34.569
moment where I thought to myself.
493
00:21:35.210 --> 00:21:38.049
I am going to have to retrain myself to be
494
00:21:38.109 --> 00:21:38.430
a dad.
495
00:21:38.990 --> 00:21:39.349
Yeah.
496
00:21:39.369 --> 00:21:40.769
You know, I'm going to have to come home and
497
00:21:40.789 --> 00:21:44.390
I'm going to have to relearn. A lot of the
498
00:21:44.470 --> 00:21:47.349
stuff that I've sort of handed over to my wife
499
00:21:47.410 --> 00:21:50.490
and my ex-wife, you know, they deal with the friends
500
00:21:50.750 --> 00:21:53.829
and the feelings of things, you know, and I'm sort
501
00:21:53.849 --> 00:21:56.430
of in an old-fashioned side where I go, well, my
502
00:21:56.569 --> 00:21:59.150
job is I go to work and I earn this
503
00:21:59.200 --> 00:22:01.859
money and that comes into the house and I spend
504
00:22:02.440 --> 00:22:04.740
a few days off that I've got a week hanging
505
00:22:04.779 --> 00:22:06.819
out and doing little bits and bobs together. So to
506
00:22:06.839 --> 00:22:11.369
suddenly come back and be full-time dad again and homeschooler
507
00:22:11.380 --> 00:22:12.490
and all.
508
00:22:12.349 --> 00:22:14.809
You know and counselor and you know and.
509
00:22:14.769 --> 00:22:16.970
All those things suddenly you know not only am I
510
00:22:17.009 --> 00:22:18.910
trying to get used to who I am as a
511
00:22:19.009 --> 00:22:21.430
as this person suddenly not doing this job that I'm
512
00:22:21.490 --> 00:22:23.500
used to I'm suddenly having to get used to these
513
00:22:23.640 --> 00:22:26.099
children who are growing up right in front of my
514
00:22:26.880 --> 00:22:28.579
my eyes these 10 year old girls who are having
515
00:22:29.039 --> 00:22:32.920
you know full-on conversations with friends and boys and whatnot
516
00:22:32.980 --> 00:22:36.150
on their messaging apps and stuff and and so there's
517
00:22:36.170 --> 00:22:37.910
a lot of things going on these these people these
518
00:22:38.269 --> 00:22:43.069
these young people have got full-on opinions on things and
519
00:22:43.109 --> 00:22:44.730
when it comes to food and things like that you
520
00:22:44.769 --> 00:22:46.519
know when i grew up if you didn't have it
521
00:22:46.539 --> 00:22:48.279
for your dinner you had it for your breakfast yeah
522
00:22:49.220 --> 00:22:51.660
my parents were very strict like it was i don't
523
00:22:51.700 --> 00:22:53.420
want this and i think well i don't like i
524
00:22:53.440 --> 00:22:54.940
tell you i don't like broccoli but i'll tell you
525
00:22:54.960 --> 00:22:57.519
what i really don't like broccoli in the morning.
526
00:23:00.220 --> 00:23:02.279
With those two options, I would have it at night.
527
00:23:02.700 --> 00:23:05.619
Whereas these days, I think there's so much choice with food.
528
00:23:05.740 --> 00:23:08.599
Generally, you can get to a point where they feel
529
00:23:08.619 --> 00:23:11.200
like they've got a choice in the food process. So
530
00:23:11.240 --> 00:23:12.960
I just let the kids go through the recipe books.
531
00:23:13.319 --> 00:23:15.799
And we read Superfood for Superchildren and all those sort
532
00:23:15.819 --> 00:23:17.740
of books. And I said, right, pick a load of
533
00:23:17.940 --> 00:23:19.829
things out and then I'll buy those things. And it
534
00:23:19.849 --> 00:23:21.190
sort of worked out all right up to now.
535
00:23:21.890 --> 00:23:25.690
Oh, that's good. Whereas for me, I'm still eating Easter eggs.
536
00:23:28.619 --> 00:23:32.000
Obviously you've got like a house full, Jason, but if
537
00:23:32.259 --> 00:23:34.829
for like in a bit of magic that like your
538
00:23:34.869 --> 00:23:37.309
wife and all your children just got disappeared for 24
539
00:23:37.309 --> 00:23:39.049
hours and it was still locked down and you had
540
00:23:39.069 --> 00:23:41.190
the entire house to yourself and the day to yourself,
541
00:23:41.609 --> 00:23:43.630
what would you do? What would that day look like?
542
00:23:44.049 --> 00:23:47.119
I think it would, half the day would be, I'd
543
00:23:47.210 --> 00:23:50.980
try and sort out my ultimate team on FIFA.
544
00:23:51.099 --> 00:23:56.450
LAUGHTER You know, I've still got a right back at 76.
545
00:23:56.450 --> 00:24:01.859
So I'd probably sort that out. I'd definitely do that.
546
00:24:02.920 --> 00:24:04.880
But I mean, trying to, crikey, I mean, trying to
547
00:24:04.900 --> 00:24:07.000
sort this house out. We've done nothing but clean.
548
00:24:07.259 --> 00:24:07.599
Yeah.
549
00:24:07.660 --> 00:24:08.519
Spring clean the house.
550
00:24:09.200 --> 00:24:10.839
But it's like, you know, it's like shoveling snow while
551
00:24:10.900 --> 00:24:12.500
it's snowing when you've got kids around.
552
00:24:13.160 --> 00:24:14.119
It's just relentless.
553
00:24:14.660 --> 00:24:16.599
And so I think what would be nice would be
554
00:24:16.640 --> 00:24:19.799
just to get to a point where everywhere was lovely
555
00:24:19.839 --> 00:24:22.250
and tidy and done. And then I could bring them
556
00:24:22.289 --> 00:24:24.269
all back and go, right, at least I know now
557
00:24:24.289 --> 00:24:25.809
that the basics are done.
558
00:24:26.349 --> 00:24:28.170
So I could just keep on top of it.
559
00:24:28.250 --> 00:24:30.289
A fresh start with the house.
560
00:24:30.849 --> 00:24:31.829
Oh, what a treat.
561
00:24:31.849 --> 00:24:35.769
The crumbs situation. We will hoover and there'll be just crumbs.
562
00:24:36.289 --> 00:24:39.410
To the point now where the local birds are flying
563
00:24:39.509 --> 00:24:41.230
into the back door because they know there's going to
564
00:24:41.269 --> 00:24:45.980
be food on the floor. We've become like Trafalgar Square, mid-90s.
565
00:24:46.039 --> 00:24:47.019
It's feeding ground.
566
00:24:47.240 --> 00:24:49.079
Yeah, so I'd do a bit of FIFA, sort the
567
00:24:49.099 --> 00:24:52.990
house out. And I started one of those, the career
568
00:24:53.009 --> 00:24:55.930
mode the other day, and my wife was asleep next
569
00:24:55.950 --> 00:24:57.329
to us, and I thought, I'll just get a start
570
00:24:57.349 --> 00:25:00.230
on this. And she woke up at one point. And obviously,
571
00:25:00.250 --> 00:25:01.539
you start with like a youth player.
572
00:25:01.779 --> 00:25:03.119
My wife woke up. She said, what are you doing?
573
00:25:03.700 --> 00:25:05.799
And I said, I'm just playing FIFA. She said, why
574
00:25:05.839 --> 00:25:07.380
aren't you playing? I said, I'm waiting to get on.
575
00:25:07.400 --> 00:25:11.960
LAUGHTER She said, you know what? I said, I was
576
00:25:12.000 --> 00:25:14.960
waiting to get on. I'm new, I'm new to the team.
577
00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:16.539
So I don't get, I get that last 10 minutes
578
00:25:16.579 --> 00:25:18.960
for a few weeks or, you know, I make a
579
00:25:18.980 --> 00:25:21.299
name for myself. She said, you've got half an hour
580
00:25:21.339 --> 00:25:23.900
to play football and you're spending most of it sat
581
00:25:23.920 --> 00:25:27.720
on the bench watching the computer playing football.
582
00:25:28.240 --> 00:25:31.880
It's a tough game, isn't it? Tough game out there.
583
00:25:31.940 --> 00:25:33.180
Let me ask you guys a question.
584
00:25:33.200 --> 00:25:33.440
All right.
585
00:25:34.690 --> 00:25:38.109
In your house, is there like a chores league table
586
00:25:38.390 --> 00:25:39.059
with your wives?
587
00:25:39.519 --> 00:25:42.539
On a Sunday, or I'm trying to get it moved
588
00:25:42.559 --> 00:25:46.319
to Saturday, is cleaning day. So we do all the
589
00:25:46.380 --> 00:25:48.299
cleaning in one day. Oh, wow.
590
00:25:48.519 --> 00:25:48.859
Yeah.
591
00:25:49.319 --> 00:25:52.279
So it's like one of us will take my daughter
592
00:25:52.640 --> 00:25:55.740
and then the other one will clean. And to be honest,
593
00:25:55.779 --> 00:25:59.079
last week, I was just desperate to do the cleaning
594
00:25:59.099 --> 00:26:00.660
because you're just in your own world.
595
00:26:00.940 --> 00:26:03.220
Yeah, you put the radio on. Yeah, great.
596
00:26:03.259 --> 00:26:03.440
I know.
597
00:26:03.930 --> 00:26:08.750
Well, I discovered ironing the other week. Do you remember ironing? Oh, yeah.
598
00:26:08.769 --> 00:26:08.869
Right.
599
00:26:09.089 --> 00:26:11.210
And I got a flashback to my dad doing it.
600
00:26:11.259 --> 00:26:13.700
So when my wife does it, we've got a little
601
00:26:13.759 --> 00:26:15.700
utility room out the back, and she does that. She
602
00:26:15.740 --> 00:26:17.700
does what she needs to do. I got this pile
603
00:26:17.740 --> 00:26:21.420
of ironing. Lads, let me tell you, it is the secret.
604
00:26:21.579 --> 00:26:23.930
Really? This is the dream.
605
00:26:24.269 --> 00:26:26.990
Ironing board in the living room, telly on.
606
00:26:27.390 --> 00:26:28.750
Oh, yeah.
607
00:26:29.309 --> 00:26:31.809
Nobody bothers you because nobody wants to do the job.
608
00:26:31.849 --> 00:26:32.089
Yeah.
609
00:26:32.369 --> 00:26:36.269
Nobody checks on you. Nobody comes in to check. And also,
610
00:26:36.710 --> 00:26:38.589
what's a seven-year-old going to moan about a crease in
611
00:26:38.609 --> 00:26:38.990
his pants?
612
00:26:39.609 --> 00:26:40.829
There's no comeback.
613
00:26:41.069 --> 00:26:41.990
There's no comeback.
614
00:26:42.029 --> 00:26:46.049
And also, if you're holding a red iron and something's happening,
615
00:26:46.130 --> 00:26:48.019
you go, oh, can you grab the kids? I've got this.
616
00:26:48.339 --> 00:26:51.319
It's like having a hot cup of tea with a
617
00:26:51.339 --> 00:26:52.980
baby in it. Oh, do you mind? I've just got this.
618
00:26:53.099 --> 00:26:53.720
One second.
619
00:26:54.500 --> 00:26:56.220
I got a flashback of my dad. My dad used
620
00:26:56.240 --> 00:26:57.839
to do the ironing on a Saturday afternoon in front
621
00:26:57.900 --> 00:27:01.210
of Grand Stamps. And I suddenly went, oh, my God,
622
00:27:01.250 --> 00:27:03.910
he was ahead of the curve, that man, watching final score,
623
00:27:03.950 --> 00:27:05.250
doing the ironing, nobody bothered him.
624
00:27:05.269 --> 00:27:07.170
Well, it's that thing, isn't it? What used to be
625
00:27:07.210 --> 00:27:10.569
a job when you've got kids suddenly becomes your escape.
626
00:27:11.190 --> 00:27:12.079
Oh, my God.
627
00:27:12.259 --> 00:27:17.079
Recycling with a podcast bin. Oh, my God. It's that pornographic.
628
00:27:18.079 --> 00:27:19.579
I put the bins out yesterday. It was like two
629
00:27:19.599 --> 00:27:20.200
weeks in Iron Apple.
630
00:27:20.259 --> 00:27:26.559
LAUGHTER Have you got any, like, if you had one
631
00:27:26.680 --> 00:27:28.740
tip that you've kind of learned that's actually helped you
632
00:27:28.779 --> 00:27:33.109
parenting in lockdown? Is there anything that you've kind of gone, oh,
633
00:27:33.170 --> 00:27:35.450
that would really help other people parent in lockdown?
634
00:27:36.170 --> 00:27:36.849
It's hard, isn't it?
635
00:27:36.869 --> 00:27:40.470
I think because, you know, again, when we talk about
636
00:27:40.549 --> 00:27:43.890
pre-lockdown or early lockdown, Jason, you know, I was thinking
637
00:27:43.910 --> 00:27:47.349
about learning Portuguese and sign language and maybe the ukulele.
638
00:27:48.049 --> 00:27:50.750
And now I'm just trying to get through it roughly
639
00:27:50.910 --> 00:27:58.329
within the same boxing weight category as I started. God,
640
00:27:58.369 --> 00:28:01.009
I would hate to patronise anybody by giving them tips
641
00:28:01.670 --> 00:28:03.980
on how to parent, crikey. What you end up doing
642
00:28:04.160 --> 00:28:07.640
is playing this weird game of, I call it top-tired
643
00:28:07.700 --> 00:28:11.200
or not tired with your wife, which is essentially, unless
644
00:28:11.220 --> 00:28:12.279
you are the most tired.
645
00:28:12.650 --> 00:28:18.450
you're not tired at all. That's how it works in relationships.
646
00:28:18.990 --> 00:28:22.069
And so you're constantly on this, like you're just dropping
647
00:28:22.109 --> 00:28:24.869
things into conversation. You know, I did the washing the
648
00:28:24.910 --> 00:28:28.089
other day and, you know, my wife said, oh, nice
649
00:28:28.130 --> 00:28:29.319
of you doing that. I said, yeah, I thought I'd
650
00:28:29.339 --> 00:28:31.460
get it done. And she meant to say it as
651
00:28:31.500 --> 00:28:33.799
a compliment, but what she said was, oh, no, it's
652
00:28:33.819 --> 00:28:35.480
really good that you're doing that because it's knackering, isn't it?
653
00:28:35.480 --> 00:28:36.819
I've done it for the last five weeks. And then
654
00:28:36.839 --> 00:28:37.359
she left.
655
00:28:38.079 --> 00:28:38.299
Wow.
656
00:28:39.339 --> 00:28:41.539
So what she left me with was, I've not been doing.
657
00:28:41.579 --> 00:28:43.150
Even though I am doing the washing right now in
658
00:28:43.170 --> 00:28:46.529
the present, I've not been doing it for the last
659
00:28:46.589 --> 00:28:47.069
five weeks.
660
00:28:47.369 --> 00:28:50.789
So there's those little light digs.
661
00:28:51.029 --> 00:28:51.589
I had a moment.
662
00:28:51.609 --> 00:28:52.630
Let me tell you this. I had a moment.
663
00:28:52.670 --> 00:28:54.720
At least you didn't take it with you, Jason, and
664
00:28:54.740 --> 00:28:57.500
then hold it with you until you asked about it
665
00:28:57.519 --> 00:28:59.140
on a podcast.
666
00:28:59.160 --> 00:28:59.779
Well, let me tell you this.
667
00:28:59.819 --> 00:29:03.349
When we first started the lockdown, I said to the kids, Right,
668
00:29:03.430 --> 00:29:05.599
I've done a schedule. I think that's my tip, actually,
669
00:29:06.359 --> 00:29:09.180
is schedule. Schedule and routine. That is the only thing
670
00:29:09.200 --> 00:29:11.900
that's going to get you through this whole process. So,
671
00:29:12.299 --> 00:29:14.799
you know, I've been getting the kids up as if
672
00:29:14.859 --> 00:29:17.160
we were going to school. We start at half nine,
673
00:29:17.200 --> 00:29:19.460
so it's not too bad. But, you know, still make
674
00:29:19.480 --> 00:29:22.200
sure we're up and dressed and washed on a school
675
00:29:22.220 --> 00:29:25.150
day at the regular school time. And we have a
676
00:29:25.190 --> 00:29:27.269
break time at the same time and we have lunch time.
677
00:29:27.430 --> 00:29:28.890
I get the kids to make their own lunch. That's
678
00:29:28.910 --> 00:29:29.690
been a revelation.
679
00:29:29.710 --> 00:29:30.650
Yeah.
680
00:29:31.789 --> 00:29:33.670
And then in the afternoon, we do some chores around
681
00:29:33.690 --> 00:29:36.200
the house together. So I get the kids, right, I've
682
00:29:36.220 --> 00:29:38.910
got you two in charge of the dishwasher. You guys
683
00:29:38.970 --> 00:29:41.359
are going to do Hoover upstairs. And it's been quite
684
00:29:41.400 --> 00:29:43.720
good in that respect. But what I did on the
685
00:29:43.779 --> 00:29:45.539
first day was my wife was in the kitchen. I
686
00:29:45.599 --> 00:29:47.460
was just saying to the kids, right, this is the schedule.
687
00:29:47.799 --> 00:29:49.059
We're going to do Joe Wicks.
688
00:29:49.660 --> 00:29:50.400
We'll do this, do this.
689
00:29:51.559 --> 00:29:53.519
I said in the afternoon we're going to do some
690
00:29:53.599 --> 00:29:55.200
chores around the house. I'm going to teach you some
691
00:29:55.240 --> 00:29:55.980
domestic stuff.
692
00:29:56.650 --> 00:29:58.369
And so we'll do that. We'll do the washing.
693
00:29:58.730 --> 00:30:00.569
And I just heard like a scoff, you know, that
694
00:30:00.630 --> 00:30:03.329
noise you like only your wife can make that just
695
00:30:03.630 --> 00:30:05.650
goes right into your heart from another room.
696
00:30:06.289 --> 00:30:07.109
She sort of went, ha.
697
00:30:08.339 --> 00:30:10.200
And I said, what are you laughing at? She said, oh,
698
00:30:10.319 --> 00:30:12.200
you you're going to teach them washing. Are you going
699
00:30:12.240 --> 00:30:15.119
to teach yourself first? And I said, hang on, this
700
00:30:15.160 --> 00:30:15.839
is in front of the kids.
701
00:30:15.880 --> 00:30:18.490
I went, hang on a minute. I said, I've been
702
00:30:18.579 --> 00:30:21.019
using a washing machine.
703
00:30:21.119 --> 00:30:23.039
All my life, man and boy. I know my way
704
00:30:23.059 --> 00:30:24.519
around a washing machine. I might not use it at
705
00:30:24.559 --> 00:30:26.319
the moment, but I know my way around a washing machine.
706
00:30:26.380 --> 00:30:29.359
I was livid. Secretly, I was livid. And she said,
707
00:30:29.539 --> 00:30:31.839
go on then, show us the washing machine. I said,
708
00:30:31.859 --> 00:30:34.259
don't patronise me. I know how to use a washing machine.
709
00:30:34.539 --> 00:30:37.400
And I marched into that utility room. I said, right, guys,
710
00:30:37.740 --> 00:30:42.180
you pull the drawer out and you put your washing
711
00:30:42.259 --> 00:30:44.460
powder in and it was the drawer for the dryer.
712
00:30:44.480 --> 00:30:46.069
I wasn't even looking at the right machine.
713
00:30:46.160 --> 00:30:53.900
LAUGHTER You're stood there with the wrong drawer.
714
00:30:53.920 --> 00:30:56.000
Rob, you always like to end with the same question,
715
00:30:56.019 --> 00:30:56.460
don't you, Rob?
716
00:30:56.859 --> 00:30:58.400
Yeah, I just wanted to know if you've had a
717
00:30:58.720 --> 00:31:01.759
lockdown highlight and lowlight or a point where you're like,
718
00:31:01.799 --> 00:31:04.420
this is amazing, what an amazing time with my kids,
719
00:31:04.480 --> 00:31:06.440
and then a point where you just thought, I can't
720
00:31:06.480 --> 00:31:08.160
go on. I need to run away.
721
00:31:08.579 --> 00:31:13.720
So the highlight has been having our, what essentially has
722
00:31:13.759 --> 00:31:18.829
become a compulsory bike ride every day. which we've never
723
00:31:18.869 --> 00:31:21.670
really done before. You know, often when I do have
724
00:31:21.690 --> 00:31:24.289
my few days off a week, I'm so knackered from
725
00:31:24.309 --> 00:31:26.509
the week. The idea of getting out and do some exercise,
726
00:31:26.670 --> 00:31:29.730
even with the kids, is beyond me. So spending that
727
00:31:29.789 --> 00:31:33.650
hour or 45 minutes or so cycling around. And we
728
00:31:33.690 --> 00:31:36.410
sort of live in a little town that I didn't
729
00:31:36.470 --> 00:31:40.200
realize was so close to countryside because.
730
00:31:39.480 --> 00:31:41.339
I just drive everywhere and I walk to the little
731
00:31:41.359 --> 00:31:42.380
shop and that. That's it.
732
00:31:42.420 --> 00:31:45.059
So we've gone out on our bikes and between us,
733
00:31:45.460 --> 00:31:49.259
we've discovered all this lovely, uh, this green area. And
734
00:31:49.279 --> 00:31:52.119
we can see, uh, the peak districts in the distance. Um,
735
00:31:52.160 --> 00:31:53.809
and we take like a little bag of apples and
736
00:31:53.829 --> 00:31:55.950
there's some, uh, horses in a field and we feed
737
00:31:55.990 --> 00:31:59.869
these horses and like, it's been really lovely getting to
738
00:31:59.890 --> 00:32:03.349
know the kids in the, and also getting to know our,
739
00:32:03.910 --> 00:32:06.509
our local area that we didn't realize we were so
740
00:32:06.549 --> 00:32:09.000
fortunate to live in. So that I would say has
741
00:32:09.079 --> 00:32:13.680
been our highlight. Um, And what was the other question?
742
00:32:13.700 --> 00:32:14.339
The low light.
743
00:32:14.880 --> 00:32:17.380
I mean, that's the beauty of parenting, isn't it? You know,
744
00:32:17.400 --> 00:32:19.259
you have that moment of thinking, I would do anything
745
00:32:19.279 --> 00:32:20.880
for this child. I love them the most in the world.
746
00:32:20.920 --> 00:32:26.809
But sometimes I put them through a window. That's the
747
00:32:26.829 --> 00:32:29.589
beauty of being a parent. Yeah, I think that a
748
00:32:29.670 --> 00:32:30.349
low light.
749
00:32:30.170 --> 00:32:33.529
For us would probably be me and my wife had
750
00:32:33.549 --> 00:32:37.849
a full blown argument, like full top of our voices argument.
751
00:32:38.430 --> 00:32:42.619
Shouting at each other in each other's face uh for
752
00:32:42.680 --> 00:32:46.119
about 30 seconds because she was adamant we were making
753
00:32:46.140 --> 00:32:50.119
the bed she was adamant that uh a duvet is
754
00:32:50.440 --> 00:32:53.750
perfectly square and i was adamant that it's slightly rectangular
755
00:33:01.069 --> 00:33:03.210
And so that's why it has to go in a
756
00:33:03.349 --> 00:33:05.910
certain way into the duvet cover, otherwise you end up
757
00:33:05.930 --> 00:33:11.079
with sort of like a foreskin bit of extra duvet
758
00:33:11.140 --> 00:33:11.519
at the end.
759
00:33:11.539 --> 00:33:12.700
You're definitely right.
760
00:33:13.019 --> 00:33:15.980
I think I'm 100% right, but it was a full-blown...
761
00:33:16.619 --> 00:33:20.920
argument where we started getting like protractors out um like
762
00:33:20.940 --> 00:33:24.430
we were measuring stuff like it's like full-on googling it's
763
00:33:24.490 --> 00:33:28.690
a it's a duvet square or spectacular like ridiculous level oh.
764
00:33:29.369 --> 00:33:31.789
It's been brilliant thanks so much jason it's been a
765
00:33:31.829 --> 00:33:34.170
pleasure to speak to you thank you very much all
766
00:33:34.279 --> 00:33:41.140
right good luck with ukulele there we are jason manford
767
00:33:41.359 --> 00:33:45.140
um six children i'll say it again six it's It's
768
00:33:45.200 --> 00:33:47.490
a hell of an achievement, isn't it? Not to have
769
00:33:47.529 --> 00:33:49.369
six children, obviously, that's an achievement in itself, but to
770
00:33:49.470 --> 00:33:50.289
homeschool them.
771
00:33:50.630 --> 00:33:54.109
Yeah, and the ages are tough as well. They're so young.
772
00:33:54.509 --> 00:33:59.400
From little two-year-old babies up to proper schooling, proper maths.
773
00:33:59.819 --> 00:34:01.640
And it ain't just a bit like, oh, what shape's this?
774
00:34:02.019 --> 00:34:04.880
Fractions and stuff, but good on him. He's keeping him positive.
775
00:34:04.900 --> 00:34:05.579
That's the main thing.
776
00:34:05.740 --> 00:34:08.159
Thank you to Jason. Good luck with your homeschooling.
777
00:34:08.340 --> 00:34:10.300
Also, as well as homeschooling, in the news, he was
778
00:34:10.340 --> 00:34:12.940
serenading a woman on a front drive. He applied to
779
00:34:12.960 --> 00:34:15.579
be a Tesco driver and he's doing volunteering, driving old
780
00:34:15.599 --> 00:34:18.119
people around with a high vision. The man's an animal.
781
00:34:18.219 --> 00:34:18.769
Does he sleep?
782
00:34:19.030 --> 00:34:21.250
The man wants to get out of the house. That
783
00:34:21.289 --> 00:34:22.889
is what we, that's what we take from that.
784
00:34:23.570 --> 00:34:26.230
Yeah, he's had enough of the homeschooling. I'm going to
785
00:34:26.269 --> 00:34:29.289
drive that man to that appointment. See you next week, kids.
786
00:34:31.440 --> 00:34:33.840
This is how you can get in touch if you
787
00:34:33.920 --> 00:34:38.079
have anything to say about things raised in this show.
788
00:34:40.010 --> 00:34:47.070
Email us hello at lockdownparenting.co.uk or we're on Twitter at lockdownparents.
789
00:34:49.300 --> 00:34:52.940
And don't forget to rate us five stars, please. Subscribe,
790
00:34:53.000 --> 00:34:55.820
tell your friends about it, anyone else with kids. And also,
791
00:34:55.840 --> 00:34:58.880
you can listen to this guilt-free with your headphones in
792
00:34:59.119 --> 00:35:00.840
while your kids are watching the telly. So that's a
793
00:35:00.840 --> 00:35:03.860
little tip to do there from us, Josh. And that's fine,
794
00:35:03.900 --> 00:35:04.190
isn't it?
795
00:35:04.659 --> 00:35:08.360
Yeah, fine. Totally fine. Do that. They don't realise. But
796
00:35:08.380 --> 00:35:10.179
do you know what? A kid would be very offended
797
00:35:10.219 --> 00:35:12.139
if you listened to Louis Theroux while they were watching TV.
798
00:35:12.239 --> 00:35:13.539
So that is a warning for you.
799
00:35:13.559 --> 00:35:16.079
Yeah, do not listen to him. We've got to stop
800
00:35:16.099 --> 00:35:17.619
mentioning him, Josh, because then they go and listen to
801
00:35:17.659 --> 00:35:18.480
his podcast.
802
00:35:18.500 --> 00:35:20.530
Yeah, I know. He had Boy George this week. I
803
00:35:20.550 --> 00:35:23.510
thought that sounds intro. That is a good book. All right,
804
00:35:23.530 --> 00:35:24.369
shut up, Josh.
805
00:35:24.929 --> 00:35:28.909
What are you up to with these guests? Oh, next week.
806
00:35:29.199 --> 00:35:30.340
Who's he got on next week?
807
00:35:30.530 --> 00:35:31.719
I don't know who he's got on, but we've got
808
00:35:31.760 --> 00:35:34.340
Boy George. Let's claim it. Let's claim it.
809
00:35:34.340 --> 00:35:36.780
No, we haven't got Boy. Don't lie about what we've got.
810
00:35:36.800 --> 00:35:37.039
Sorry.
811
00:35:37.079 --> 00:35:39.539
Come on. We've got a great guest next week. A
812
00:35:39.559 --> 00:35:41.460
nice surprise one on Tuesday. Enjoy.
813
00:35:41.880 --> 00:35:42.340
Bye.
814
00:35:42.400 --> 00:35:42.900
Bye-bye.