S01 EP35: Chris Stark

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Hello, I'm Josh Whitacombe.
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And I'm Rob Beckett.
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Welcome to Lockdown Parenting Hell. The show in which Rob
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and I discuss what it's like to be a parent
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during lockdown, which I would say can be a little tricky.
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Yeah!
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Yeah! So, in an effort to make some kind of
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sense of the current situation... And to.
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Make me feel better about my increasingly terrible parenting skills.
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Each episode we'll be chatting to a famous parent about
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how well they're coping.
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Or hopefully not.
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And we will be hearing from you, the listener, with
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your tales of lockdown parenting woe.
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Because let's be honest, none of us know what we're doing.
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Hello and welcome to Lockdown Parents in Hell with.
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Oh, I like that.
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There we go. Absolutely nailed it.
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She was sort of laughing at the end. I love
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that energy.
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That is Jack Goodwin, age two.
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Did I say she? I thought it was a girl. Oh, no.
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I think a child's voice at the age of two, Rob.
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That's the kind of mistake you can get away with.
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Oh, come on, mate. Is he a girl or so?
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The balls ain't dropped yet at two.
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Come on, mate.
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What are you hanging around for?
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That is Jack Goodwin, short for Jacqueline. No, no. Jack Goodwin,
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our toddler has recently taken to assigning ownership to inanimate
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objects based, we are assuming, on how much he sees
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the person using the thing. So far, Daddy has been
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assigned the oven, the hoover and the sweeping brush. Mummy
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has been assigned chocolate, cake and cider. LAUGHTER Such a
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great window into lives.
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I swear, I can't remember. Catherine Ryan's daughter used to
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call white wine day wine and red wine night wine
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when she used to see her drinking it.
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Oh, my Lord.
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Imagine no alcohol being a parent.
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It'd be brutal. Oh, my word.
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How are you, all right?
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Yeah, I'm good, actually, Rob. How are you? Not too bad.
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It's got calmed down a little bit.
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There's a constant arguing between my two that's quite frustrating.
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that whenever we drive anywhere, they always want houses on
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the side. So they want to see houses. So if
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it's just trees, it's boring. And then if one of
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them's got houses on one side of the car and
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the other one hasn't, they cry. because they can't see
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the houses they don't actually care about. But it's a
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competition between them.
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Oh, wow.
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And it gets really heated.
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What a thing to be into.
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And then they started looking for bungalows. And then the
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oldest one, there's a bungalow, there's a bungalow. And then
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I was like, that ain't a bungalow. And the other
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one's gone, but.
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I want bungalows. And then we're just screaming about bungalows.
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And I don't like my life, Josh.
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So they're obsessed with houses. Do you think they're going
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to get into property? Have you got two estate agents
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on your hand?
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Well, yeah.
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I mean, she'd get a lot of sales covering Aesop,
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wandering in like the queen of the castle.
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But no, I don't know what it is. It's just nonsense.
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It's just that they, because there's two of them, they
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will argue over anything to prove a point. So whatever
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one's got, one wants the other. So it was just
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the first time that the eldest said that she likes houses,
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so they like houses.
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But if it.
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Was trees, it would have just been trees. They don't
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actually care. It's more that they want to get one
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over on the other.
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Yes, I can see that. We have it in the car.
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So if we pick my daughter up from nursery, so
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it's almost like time to start bedtime when we pick
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her up from nursery. It's like within the hour. Yeah, yeah.
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And so often she's really tired. So when she wants
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to go to sleep in the car, she'll just get
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really angry. And she'll tell, Rose will be sat in
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the back with her. And she'll be like, don't look
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at me. Don't look at me. Like, don't look at
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me like, you know, like when someone's, like, caught doing
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something they shouldn't be doing.
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My two-year-old says, she goes, don't see me.
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Don't see me. Yeah. And then when she wakes up,
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she's an absolute effing nightmare, Rob.
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Said like the most middle-class East London living man.
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It's a chuffing disaster. So does Rose always sit in
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the back with her on a journey?
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Yes, at the moment, yes.
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It's a bit like Brexit.
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Isn't it?
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We did that for a bit. It's like you need
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a transition period, isn't there? Like some sort of new.
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Yeah, well, I tell you what the problem is. So
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we've installed the car seat. We've got to face it forwards,
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but we installed it facing backwards. And every time I
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remember that I need to make it face forwards... is
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about a minute before we have to go on a
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journey which we're already late for.
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And yes, you feel a bit mean if they're just
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facing the back.
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Yeah. So I know I've got to change that, but
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it never enters my head until it's too late. Like
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this is the first time I've thought about that when
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it's not us getting in the car.
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Yes.
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And it's currently 10 p.m. And I'm recording a podcast
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and there's no fucking way that I'm going outside to
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do it now.
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Also, I've recently bought the four and a half on
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a new car seat, but it's a bit more of
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like a grown-up one, right? And they went, yeah, that
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one will do her for years. She'll have that one
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until she's 12.
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I went, what? She went, that one will fit her
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for 12. I went... Look, I don't care if it's
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against the law or not. I am not putting a
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12-year-old girl in a car seat.
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Imagine dropping her off to year eight at secondary school
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in a car seat.
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That would do more damage than anything else. You can't
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stick a 12-year-old... They.
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Can't be putting 12-year-olds in cars. I went on a
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school bus from the age of 11. They weren't popping
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us all in car seats.
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It's not with their school bag, PE kit, car seat
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for the bus.
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I'm not going to lie to you. It was a
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different time. We didn't even have seat belts. Like.
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And I was just like, look, you can't put a
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12-year-old in that. Your whole life path will be dictated
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by that car seat. You'll just be car seat kid
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for your whole time at school.
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That'll be your life.
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That'll be what you're known for. Whatever you achieve from there,
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someone will come up to you and go, hello, car
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seat kid, how's it going?
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You all right?
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Prime minister, are you? How are you getting to work?
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Car seat, wanker. It'll never go.
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Oh, wow. So what age do you get rid of
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the car seat, do you reckon? Because I don't know
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these things.
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I don't know. I mean, I'm struggling now. I'm not
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worrying about the future.
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No.
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I'm not getting bogged down by a nine-year-old's car seat.
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Do you know what I mean? You've got to pick
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your battles.
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It's awful, isn't it, when you have to take your
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test but you're still in a car seat?
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LAUGHTER Going out on a first date, is he picking
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you up?
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I'll get the car seat out of mine.
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LAUGHTER Imagine being on a date. Are you right to
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clip me in? Have we got anything from our listeners, Rob?
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Yes, I've got a message on Instagram.
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We're on Instagram if you want to follow us.
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Follow us, lockdown underscore parenting.
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That's the one. And here's this one from Steve.
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And he said.
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uh hello there i love the podcast my wife and
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i have enjoyed also as well you know it's lovely
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to hear it but i assume you love it when
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you're messaging.
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Well that's what i assumed until that person messaged about
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how much of a dick i was on the last leg.
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Yeah they go hi just rob i hate the podcast
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i think you're unfunny but i've got an interesting story
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about my childhood.
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But i too got a coin stuck up my nose
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Here we go.
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So my wife and I have enjoyed the pod because
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of lockdown.
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We were expecting a baby boy and you guys brought
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a great angle to showing us the struggles.
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Oh, God.
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So these poor souls were listening to it.
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Oh, my God.
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Children have been born in the time that this podcast
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has been going.
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On, Josh.
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It's unbelievable.
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So four weeks ago, my wife, Amy, gave birth to
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a beautiful baby boy called Albert. We have already incurred
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our first parenting mishap. We had misunderstood the whole elbow
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in the water trick for testing the temperature. We'd interpreted
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it as you shouldn't be able to feel water on
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your elbow. Albert screamed blue murder during bath times, which
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was a concern. We decided to buy a water thermometer
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and ran a bath using the device. It turns out
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previous baths we had been running were basically an ice
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bucket challenge from 2012. LAUGHTER We are able to look
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after Albert, so please don't report us to social services.
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He said, what's the funniest mistake you have made during parenting?
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Oh, that's amazing.
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I mean, you're so worried about making stuff too hot
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for kids. You do worry about too cold.
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Yeah.
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I think this is a good advice, really, with kids. Just,
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if there is a piece of technology that does the job,
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use that. Don't all these old people that go, trash
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your instincts. Oh, we didn't have it in our day.
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But you do now.
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Do you know what I mean?
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Yeah.
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Did you have a sleepyhead, Rob? Yes.
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Only for the second one, we found it really helped.
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What a winner that was. What a winner. So it's
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like a kind of rubber ring that goes around them.
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Not rubber, like a foam ring that goes around them.
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So we managed to get rid of the sleepyhead because
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the baby was just so small in that big area.
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It just makes it a bit more enclosed. But Ellis James,
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once the hero of this parish, told me that his daughter, Betty...
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They kept the sleepyhead so long that she was basically
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lying on it like it was a rubber ring in
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a swimming pool. You said she was like Ray Winston
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in Sexy Beast. You've got to give up those things.
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It's difficult to get rid of those things. It's difficult.
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I think, Josh, if anything ever happens to one of us,
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Ellis James should replace us. But still, we should sort
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of like 10% of all earnings should go to the
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dead man's family.
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I don't think he's not gained the listeners, has he?
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I'm sure he could hold on to them.
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I don't know.
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The first few weeks, I think he gained a few
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admirers for his work ethic as a father.
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I think he should do a kind of topless charity
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calendar of him like doing fatherly things, but in a
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kind of sexy manner. I think so many of our
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listeners would buy it. So you could have him posing naked,
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but for a clock that says 4.30am on it.
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I think about Ellis a lot, you know.
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What I remember, the image I have of him is sat,
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because he's sat on a window. ledge, looking out, getting
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a bit of sun on his face, and sitting.
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There reading, going, well, this is my life now. And
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me screaming, but you can't hear. It doesn't have to be.
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It doesn't have to be, Elliot.
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We should probably do our guest for this week.
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Yeah, we should just say, if you want to get
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in touch, this is how.
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Email us hello at lockdownparenting.co.uk or tweet us at lockdownparents
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or Instagram lockdown underscore parenting.
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And you can also send us stuff P.O.
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Box 76748, London E99DW.
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Also, thanks so much for getting in touch.
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We are trying to get back to everyone, but there's
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a lot of people, so we will get through them all.
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So many great emails, so many great messages. It's genuinely,
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it's an absolute pleasure to read them all.
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Thank you very much.
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Right, go on.
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It's Chris Stark this week, isn't it, Josh?
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Yeah, he's just had a second kid.
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Oh.
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This is the person we've interviewed who's the closest to...
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a birth having just occurred yes so we're very excited
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by this.
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They've got a very it's a very interesting it's a
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bit of an izzy and ellis dynamic really with the
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schedule implemented this.
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Is one of my favorite schedules i've ever heard.
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In my life i'm still i'm still rocked by the
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schedule i'm still shook to my core about the schedule
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And so composed for a man with a four-week-old baby.
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But he's a great bloke, Chris. Very funny. And it's
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really interesting.
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Do you know what? When he's talking, he reminds me of,
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you know those, when they say about a great footballer,
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he's always got more time on the ball.
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Yes.
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He reminds me of kind of like Andrea Pirlo. He's
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always in space telling his anecdote.
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Do you know what? I think he's one of the
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most underrated thinkers of his time.
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Exactly.
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We spoke about this. Where he has thought about everything
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at least once. So if you ask him, if you
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go to me now, what's your favourite food? I'm like, oh,
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give me three days, Josh.
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Come on.
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I don't know. I quite like sausages. He would go,
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I thought about this. And he brings you in. He's Bergkamp,
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isn't he?
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Yeah, exactly.
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He could just lay it off left, right and centre.
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So here we are. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Matthew Letitia.
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I tried to do an analogy at Bird Camp, but
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it would involve Scott Mills being Nicholas and Ilka or Henri,
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and it just doesn't work.
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Anyway, Chris Stark.
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Hello, Chris. How are you?
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Boys, yes, good.
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Thanks for inviting me on.
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I feel I should start with an apology. I thought
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I'd booked you, but I'd kind of half booked you.
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And then I sent you a text going, you still...
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good for this.
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00:12:34.570 --> 00:12:37.909
Morning there's a really wanky phrase in in all of
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this kind of media world which is you get a
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booking especially in my case because what happens is i
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00:12:43.679 --> 00:12:45.820
i get put in a lot of things as a
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00:12:45.860 --> 00:12:48.000
kind of um i don't know what you call it
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like a placeholder.
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Pencil they say pencil it in as you type it
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onto your.
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00:12:52.100 --> 00:12:54.340
Phone yeah that's what they say they say pencil or
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00:12:54.399 --> 00:12:56.659
heavy pencil right now i don't put any pencils in
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my phone because in my experience what happens is they
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00:12:58.720 --> 00:13:05.559
then go and book rob beckett what's the point now
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00:13:05.879 --> 00:13:08.600
the thing is josh very kindly invited me onto this
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00:13:08.820 --> 00:13:10.899
but there's been a bit of to and fro in
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and i've just had a baby so i kind of
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vanished for a couple of weeks and then josh asked
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quite last minute about coming onto this and then said
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i'll send an email to confirm maybe the two confirmed
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it wasn't in the message actually i've just made my
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00:13:24.409 --> 00:13:26.789
head email never came and then i got some sort
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of panicky messages this morning so i'm stood here like
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i've fired everything up that's in front of me this
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little kind of studio set up if you call it
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00:13:35.139 --> 00:13:37.720
that that's in my my little boy's nursery and i'm
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00:13:37.759 --> 00:13:40.500
here and i haven't got a shirt on so what.
333
00:13:40.399 --> 00:13:42.120
You wear what talk us through your outfit chris what
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00:13:42.139 --> 00:13:43.360
you got it's just.
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00:13:43.220 --> 00:13:45.899
Really loutish isn't it no i've got shorts on and
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00:13:45.919 --> 00:13:48.519
i've got some of them trainer socks pants and then
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00:13:48.559 --> 00:13:50.539
just no shirt it's like the easiest thing that i
338
00:13:50.580 --> 00:13:52.340
could have grabbed but then it would have been more
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00:13:52.379 --> 00:13:54.820
wrong i think this is a more appropriate way around
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of doing things than just wearing a t-shirt and nothing
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00:13:57.899 --> 00:13:58.700
else oh yeah.
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That would have been that would have been the worst
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thing to grab.
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00:14:01.000 --> 00:14:04.919
Like the worst thing would just be trainer socks Nothing else,
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just trainer socks.
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00:14:06.860 --> 00:14:08.500
So talk, have you had a shower, Chris?
347
00:14:08.919 --> 00:14:09.100
No.
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00:14:09.120 --> 00:14:11.120
Sorry, this has turned into a sexy phone call more
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00:14:11.159 --> 00:14:11.940
than anything.
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00:14:12.000 --> 00:14:14.879
Are you dirty? How dirty are you? I've not had
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00:14:14.899 --> 00:14:15.720
a shower either, Josh.
352
00:14:15.879 --> 00:14:19.440
No, I don't, I reckon I shower one day in
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three at the moment, due to my life.
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00:14:21.730 --> 00:14:22.519
Even in this heat?
355
00:14:22.850 --> 00:14:26.129
Yeah, because I'll do stuff like, I'll think I'm going
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00:14:26.149 --> 00:14:28.769
to do exercise later, so I won't have a shower now. Like,
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00:14:28.809 --> 00:14:32.450
it's just so difficult to fit it in. How often
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00:14:32.470 --> 00:14:33.230
do you shower, Chris?
359
00:14:34.090 --> 00:14:34.690
Great question.
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00:14:36.870 --> 00:14:40.190
Sorry, the email I was sending you beforehand had a
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00:14:40.210 --> 00:14:41.860
list of all the questions I was asking you. What
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00:14:41.879 --> 00:14:44.360
are you wearing? How often do you shower? I didn't
363
00:14:44.379 --> 00:14:45.639
even bother to ask. I couldn't send me a picture
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00:14:45.659 --> 00:14:46.139
of your dick.
365
00:14:47.759 --> 00:14:50.100
I didn't even bother to ask if there's anything that
366
00:14:50.120 --> 00:14:53.100
we should avoid with this, but it's all fine, I'm sure.
367
00:14:53.220 --> 00:14:53.460
Oh, yeah.
368
00:14:53.480 --> 00:14:53.639
Yeah.
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00:14:54.460 --> 00:14:57.200
No, I'm on the one in three as well. But
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00:14:57.379 --> 00:14:59.500
I will say this, Josh, I'm kind of lucky in
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00:14:59.559 --> 00:15:02.820
life that I don't think my sweat smells.
372
00:15:03.539 --> 00:15:04.070
Oh, wow.
373
00:15:04.399 --> 00:15:07.110
Yeah, it's an odd one. I'm not totally convinced in
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00:15:07.149 --> 00:15:09.549
my theory there, because you don't know if it's just
375
00:15:09.629 --> 00:15:12.289
one of those situations where everyone else can smell it,
376
00:15:12.289 --> 00:15:13.649
but obviously you're immune to your own.
377
00:15:14.730 --> 00:15:18.190
I think it's the clothes, people that sweat into a top.
378
00:15:18.370 --> 00:15:20.250
If I sweat into a top, that is in the
379
00:15:20.269 --> 00:15:21.870
wash or I'm going to set fire to it. I
380
00:15:21.889 --> 00:15:23.809
will never put that back on. It's the people that
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00:15:23.830 --> 00:15:25.899
let it dry and put it back on. Then when
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00:15:25.940 --> 00:15:28.500
you sweat again, then it is an absolute stink fest.
383
00:15:28.539 --> 00:15:29.460
I think that's what it is.
384
00:15:29.940 --> 00:15:30.620
It's not you.
385
00:15:31.340 --> 00:15:34.519
It's true, though. We had a DJ at Radio 1, right,
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00:15:34.990 --> 00:15:39.429
who got told by our boss. Boss has now left.
387
00:15:40.100 --> 00:15:42.679
but actually had a word with the boss because the
388
00:15:42.700 --> 00:15:45.600
boss would walk past and was offended by how he smelt.
389
00:15:45.960 --> 00:15:49.929
And it was exactly that. It wasn't him. It was
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00:15:49.970 --> 00:15:51.570
the washing that he was doing. He didn't know how
391
00:15:51.590 --> 00:15:54.889
to do his washing properly. It wouldn't dry.
392
00:15:55.149 --> 00:15:57.190
When it comes to Radio 1 DJs, just being smelly
393
00:15:57.210 --> 00:15:58.350
is not the worst that's happened, is it?
394
00:15:58.690 --> 00:15:59.070
Exactly.
395
00:16:00.470 --> 00:16:02.720
It all falls into a relative.
396
00:16:02.820 --> 00:16:08.460
I've started in the last week showering with my daughter. Okay.
397
00:16:08.779 --> 00:16:10.950
Is that weird? That's all right, isn't it? Instead, when
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00:16:10.970 --> 00:16:11.990
she wants to have a bath.
399
00:16:12.009 --> 00:16:12.470
Yeah, yeah.
400
00:16:12.490 --> 00:16:14.590
But because it was so hot, we were like, do
401
00:16:14.610 --> 00:16:15.870
you want to have a shower? And she was like,
402
00:16:15.909 --> 00:16:17.769
if daddy has a shower. And then we'll both have
403
00:16:17.789 --> 00:16:20.149
a shower. And that's how I now fit my shower in.
404
00:16:20.470 --> 00:16:22.500
So I've basically got the same bath time as my
405
00:16:22.529 --> 00:16:23.220
daughter now.
406
00:16:23.440 --> 00:16:25.659
So I sometimes have baths with them, but I will
407
00:16:25.679 --> 00:16:27.220
wear swimming trunks or pants.
408
00:16:27.639 --> 00:16:29.720
But I don't know if that's weirder than going in naked.
409
00:16:30.139 --> 00:16:36.090
I think that's weirder. Because, right, you've hit on something
410
00:16:36.120 --> 00:16:40.269
amazing here because this is right down the line in
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00:16:40.309 --> 00:16:42.629
that there is nothing wrong with it at all.
412
00:16:42.669 --> 00:16:43.070
Of course.
413
00:16:43.210 --> 00:16:47.429
There's nothing wrong with it. But some of us, me included...
414
00:16:47.450 --> 00:16:50.389
think that it's like there's something in the back of
415
00:16:50.409 --> 00:16:53.519
your head which goes is this like is this a
416
00:16:53.549 --> 00:16:56.700
bit weird right and and it isn't but it's just
417
00:16:56.759 --> 00:16:58.279
something in the back of our heads that's doing that
418
00:16:58.720 --> 00:17:03.179
so i've always avoided it but the thing is that
419
00:17:03.399 --> 00:17:05.099
i think part of the reason i've avoided it is
420
00:17:05.119 --> 00:17:07.480
because then it's just another bit of peace time for
421
00:17:07.519 --> 00:17:11.720
myself i'm totally exempt from the activity you know because
422
00:17:11.759 --> 00:17:15.140
my little girl generally speaking if it if it's like
423
00:17:15.160 --> 00:17:18.170
a shower time because she's five she she'll be with
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00:17:18.210 --> 00:17:22.190
her mum yeah and so that's just another if i
425
00:17:22.230 --> 00:17:25.250
can just about make it work and and the xbox
426
00:17:25.309 --> 00:17:26.009
is on my.
427
00:17:25.849 --> 00:17:28.950
Side being a parent basically.
428
00:17:28.490 --> 00:17:30.319
If the xbox is on my side and there's no
429
00:17:30.380 --> 00:17:32.460
updates that need to be done you know if everyone's
430
00:17:32.500 --> 00:17:34.980
on their a game i can just about squeeze a
431
00:17:35.000 --> 00:17:36.799
game in without anyone knowing.
432
00:17:36.640 --> 00:17:39.779
Fair enough okay Well, no, it's just because they've got girls,
433
00:17:39.980 --> 00:17:42.000
white girls, that are just obsessed with going, well, your
434
00:17:42.019 --> 00:17:42.599
bit's different.
435
00:17:42.619 --> 00:17:43.180
Look at your bits.
436
00:17:43.220 --> 00:17:45.440
And then like, oh, and it just becomes the topic
437
00:17:45.460 --> 00:17:48.440
of conversation in the bar. And especially if you ever
438
00:17:48.460 --> 00:17:50.650
run out of bubble bath, that is a bleak bath.
439
00:17:51.029 --> 00:17:53.309
It's just too clear. Do you know what I mean?
440
00:17:53.430 --> 00:17:57.009
It's like a Caribbean sea. Everything's on show. And I just,
441
00:17:57.029 --> 00:17:58.549
I feel, so I normally just wear a pair of shorts.
442
00:17:58.569 --> 00:17:59.789
But anyway, I don't know.
443
00:17:59.890 --> 00:18:03.660
I picture, you know, Robin, one of those Victorian bathing suits. Yeah.
444
00:18:04.599 --> 00:18:06.460
Striped Victorian bathing suits.
445
00:18:06.920 --> 00:18:10.799
Fully UV protected. Anyway, Chris, we should ask you, how
446
00:18:10.839 --> 00:18:12.650
are you getting on? Because you've got, what's your setup now?
447
00:18:12.660 --> 00:18:14.990
You've got two kids now, is that right? I do
448
00:18:15.009 --> 00:18:15.769
have two, yeah.
449
00:18:15.910 --> 00:18:20.670
So I recently had a little boy, as in three
450
00:18:20.710 --> 00:18:21.170
weeks ago.
451
00:18:21.190 --> 00:18:21.259
Wow.
452
00:18:21.509 --> 00:18:24.930
How are you? You sound fine for three weeks.
453
00:18:25.329 --> 00:18:27.490
I'm all right. The thing is, because I've done a
454
00:18:27.509 --> 00:18:29.490
lot of DJing, I don't know if it's the same
455
00:18:29.509 --> 00:18:32.630
with comedy, but I'm used to late nights and I'm
456
00:18:32.750 --> 00:18:35.490
used to being uncomfortable at night, you know, in the
457
00:18:35.539 --> 00:18:38.579
back of a car. or like huddled on a train
458
00:18:38.740 --> 00:18:41.220
that sort of thing so actually i find the night
459
00:18:41.259 --> 00:18:45.170
times okay if i'm brutally honest about it um i
460
00:18:45.250 --> 00:18:48.849
quite enjoy it so what i'll do is um yeah
461
00:18:49.009 --> 00:18:52.470
yeah it's not so bad so for me uh i
462
00:18:52.529 --> 00:18:54.940
obviously love my wife very much but to make this
463
00:18:55.000 --> 00:18:57.759
work what was happening is in the first week neither
464
00:18:57.799 --> 00:18:59.680
of us were getting much sleep and we're both getting
465
00:18:59.700 --> 00:19:02.980
in our way each other's way And the baby's kind
466
00:19:03.019 --> 00:19:05.700
of like crying and kicking off. And then we're both
467
00:19:05.799 --> 00:19:07.400
waking up and we're both tired the next day. So
468
00:19:07.420 --> 00:19:09.940
what we've decided to do is separate it and do shifts.
469
00:19:10.700 --> 00:19:12.759
So my wife is really good at just going to
470
00:19:12.819 --> 00:19:14.519
sleep straight away. I can't do that. I've got to
471
00:19:14.559 --> 00:19:16.880
watch TV or listen to podcasts, that sort of thing.
472
00:19:17.579 --> 00:19:21.279
So we've broken up the shifts. But what happens now
473
00:19:21.339 --> 00:19:23.240
is my wife goes to the room next door and
474
00:19:23.279 --> 00:19:25.539
then I've got the bed to myself. And I'm there.
475
00:19:25.720 --> 00:19:29.900
I've watched The Godfather. I've watched Scarface. I'm re-watching the
476
00:19:29.940 --> 00:19:34.089
entire line of duty. series yeah it's fantastic but have
477
00:19:34.109 --> 00:19:37.190
you slept well so i stay up till about.
478
00:19:37.089 --> 00:19:39.420
Four what with the baby or just watching.
479
00:19:39.119 --> 00:19:42.299
Telly well i say the baby's the baby's sleeping to
480
00:19:42.339 --> 00:19:43.039
be honest.
481
00:19:42.799 --> 00:19:47.210
What are you doing this is an opportunity to catch
482
00:19:47.289 --> 00:19:48.730
up on some box sets.
483
00:19:48.609 --> 00:19:50.400
It works on so many levels and then I go
484
00:19:50.480 --> 00:19:53.039
in about five in the morning and just say to Ria,
485
00:19:53.059 --> 00:19:54.900
because the baby would just start crying and want to feed,
486
00:19:54.920 --> 00:19:58.500
and I'll go, can we swap? I get hero points
487
00:19:58.859 --> 00:20:00.759
for the fact that Ria's been able to sleep until
488
00:20:00.799 --> 00:20:01.619
five in the morning.
489
00:20:01.640 --> 00:20:02.039
Yeah.
490
00:20:03.529 --> 00:20:06.910
I'm catching up on these amazing films and TV.
491
00:20:06.930 --> 00:20:08.869
This is unprecedented.
492
00:20:08.910 --> 00:20:13.609
The downside, boys, is I'm physically not sleeping much.
493
00:20:13.630 --> 00:20:17.700
You're on about an hour a night. Yeah, right.
494
00:20:25.509 --> 00:20:29.589
If you imagine scales, right? Everything has pros and everything
495
00:20:29.630 --> 00:20:32.690
has cons and my sleep is not the priority in
496
00:20:32.769 --> 00:20:33.490
anything really.
497
00:20:34.490 --> 00:20:37.329
It's your blog about what's going on in the TV world,
498
00:20:37.390 --> 00:20:38.549
isn't it? That's the main thing.
499
00:20:38.730 --> 00:20:40.349
So what time do you go back to bed then?
500
00:20:40.369 --> 00:20:42.910
If you hand over the baby, the three-week-old baby at
501
00:20:42.950 --> 00:20:45.490
five to your wife, what time will you get the
502
00:20:45.529 --> 00:20:46.970
baby and your wife goes to bed?
503
00:20:47.210 --> 00:20:48.130
Like 10 or something?
504
00:20:48.259 --> 00:20:51.440
The whole routine because we've got a little five-year-old girl
505
00:20:51.500 --> 00:20:55.099
as well. So the whole routine obviously starts around I
506
00:20:55.140 --> 00:20:58.900
think around about eight o'clock, I reckon. Everyone's in bed
507
00:20:58.940 --> 00:21:02.099
at 10. And then ideally, and then what I'm finding
508
00:21:02.140 --> 00:21:04.180
is the baby tends to wake up a couple of
509
00:21:04.220 --> 00:21:07.269
times throughout the night. And if I've just nodded off
510
00:21:07.950 --> 00:21:10.690
or like feel I'm a bit tired, I'll pause the TV.
511
00:21:10.730 --> 00:21:12.869
And then as soon as the baby starts crying again,
512
00:21:12.930 --> 00:21:16.839
I'm up again, you know, hit play. Grab a bottle
513
00:21:17.299 --> 00:21:18.720
and then carry on.
514
00:21:19.259 --> 00:21:23.180
How is your baby sleeping through the cocaine crazed murder
515
00:21:23.539 --> 00:21:25.920
that is being carried out by Al Pacino and Tony Montana?
516
00:21:26.319 --> 00:21:28.160
Is that affecting the machine gun?
517
00:21:28.359 --> 00:21:30.220
Yeah, but Rob, that's what they need to do, because
518
00:21:30.640 --> 00:21:32.829
if they can sleep through that, you'll never have any
519
00:21:32.869 --> 00:21:35.309
problems with any parties that you go to.
520
00:21:35.369 --> 00:21:37.869
Yeah, if you have to murder someone for a cocaine deal,
521
00:21:38.109 --> 00:21:39.329
your baby will sleep through.
522
00:21:40.319 --> 00:21:42.119
You know what I mean? If they can sleep through Starface,
523
00:21:42.160 --> 00:21:43.319
they'll sleep through anything.
524
00:21:43.900 --> 00:21:47.279
Okay, so you're sort of between 10 and 5, you're
525
00:21:47.299 --> 00:21:49.480
sort of watching telly, nodding off, sleeping with a baby.
526
00:21:49.500 --> 00:21:53.329
I can't believe this is happening. So then at 5, right,
527
00:21:53.369 --> 00:21:55.849
you hand over the baby. Do you go back to bed?
528
00:21:55.890 --> 00:21:57.329
How long are you allowed to go in bed for?
529
00:21:57.349 --> 00:21:59.829
Right, now this is the genius bit. So then at
530
00:21:59.829 --> 00:22:02.589
5 o'clock in the morning, so what tends to have
531
00:22:02.609 --> 00:22:05.789
happened by then is the baby has sort of gone
532
00:22:05.809 --> 00:22:08.819
to sleep. I've dozed off, right? So the baby's fine.
533
00:22:09.039 --> 00:22:12.500
The baby's then woken up around about five. I've then
534
00:22:12.539 --> 00:22:14.779
woken up. And instead of dealing with the baby, I
535
00:22:14.799 --> 00:22:19.250
then go next door to my wife and say, should
536
00:22:19.269 --> 00:22:22.509
we swap over? Now, she's inheriting a baby that needs
537
00:22:22.589 --> 00:22:25.609
everything done to it at five in the morning. I
538
00:22:25.630 --> 00:22:27.829
look like a hero because it's five in the morning.
539
00:22:28.170 --> 00:22:30.680
And then I crawl into the bed next door and
540
00:22:30.740 --> 00:22:33.039
I try and get a couple of hours sleep there.
541
00:22:33.359 --> 00:22:35.119
And then after that, coffee's your friend.
542
00:22:35.140 --> 00:22:35.799
Okay.
543
00:22:36.339 --> 00:22:40.299
And that's your hardcore sleep time. That's like the power
544
00:22:40.319 --> 00:22:42.940
sleep you get in there. There's no interruptions. There's no movies.
545
00:22:43.039 --> 00:22:43.599
That's just you.
546
00:22:43.700 --> 00:22:47.099
He works his way through The Sopranos at that point.
547
00:22:47.220 --> 00:22:48.240
Easier, a bit more gentle.
548
00:22:48.829 --> 00:22:52.089
That two hours is, by then I'm so knackered that
549
00:22:52.210 --> 00:22:55.130
I can physically fall asleep. So it's all work. The
550
00:22:55.190 --> 00:22:57.250
thing is, everyone's just got to figure it out for themselves,
551
00:22:57.309 --> 00:23:00.089
isn't they? And that's what's working for me.
552
00:23:04.089 --> 00:23:05.190
Are you back at work, Chris?
553
00:23:05.549 --> 00:23:08.289
Yeah, but that's the thing. Everyone thinks that the radio
554
00:23:08.309 --> 00:23:11.750
show is obviously just like the time that you're on
555
00:23:11.789 --> 00:23:14.410
the radio, but you do have to get up and like,
556
00:23:14.869 --> 00:23:15.910
it's not really work.
557
00:23:16.009 --> 00:23:16.509
Yeah.
558
00:23:16.549 --> 00:23:18.190
I mean, you can't just put water in your mouth
559
00:23:18.230 --> 00:23:21.609
and spit on someone. You've got to prep that. You
560
00:23:21.650 --> 00:23:23.849
can't just get some more.
561
00:23:23.450 --> 00:23:25.880
Gobbit on someone and go home. You know, you've got
562
00:23:25.890 --> 00:23:27.019
those forms and stuff.
563
00:23:27.059 --> 00:23:29.759
Does it annoy you two that you both work in
564
00:23:29.799 --> 00:23:34.170
jobs that you probably both rate yourselves in? But actually,
565
00:23:34.450 --> 00:23:36.349
no one respects it as a real job.
566
00:23:36.650 --> 00:23:37.940
Oh, 100%.
567
00:23:37.940 --> 00:23:38.529
100%. Yeah.
568
00:23:38.849 --> 00:23:41.529
Especially other dads. Because the thing is, you meet other dads.
569
00:23:41.569 --> 00:23:45.230
And actually, it's like, we have fun jobs. And people
570
00:23:45.259 --> 00:23:47.859
want to talk about them. But no, you can't really
571
00:23:47.900 --> 00:23:50.059
call it a job, can you? Like, I wouldn't respect
572
00:23:50.220 --> 00:23:51.839
either of you two as working men.
573
00:23:51.859 --> 00:23:57.440
I thought I wanted to hear my entire life, Chris.
574
00:23:57.539 --> 00:23:59.099
I thought I'd be working towards.
575
00:24:00.059 --> 00:24:02.029
I think that's the thing, isn't it? I think it
576
00:24:02.069 --> 00:24:04.259
would be a lot easier as well. Because whenever I
577
00:24:04.339 --> 00:24:06.920
say I'm going upstairs to do some work, like just
578
00:24:06.940 --> 00:24:10.259
for this, I do feel like it's not like I'm
579
00:24:10.299 --> 00:24:12.849
going to do some accounting or something. No. In the
580
00:24:12.910 --> 00:24:18.170
sense of it always feels like there's this implied mood
581
00:24:18.210 --> 00:24:20.789
in the room. that I've organised this podcast to get
582
00:24:20.849 --> 00:24:23.470
out of parenting rather than it's an actual proper job,
583
00:24:23.529 --> 00:24:24.430
if you know what I mean. Yeah.
584
00:24:24.509 --> 00:24:27.349
I started doing online streaming on a YouTube channel playing
585
00:24:27.369 --> 00:24:29.490
Call of Duty, right? And I was doing it the
586
00:24:29.509 --> 00:24:32.450
other day and then my wife's mum and sister come
587
00:24:32.490 --> 00:24:33.950
round and went, right, you're right, I've got to go
588
00:24:33.970 --> 00:24:35.670
and do some work. And then I could see them
589
00:24:35.730 --> 00:24:38.690
staring at me with my headphones on and my controller
590
00:24:38.950 --> 00:24:40.549
and I come back.
591
00:24:40.349 --> 00:24:42.309
And they went, what are you doing? I went, I'm working.
592
00:24:42.329 --> 00:24:44.230
She went, no, you're not, you're playing computer games.
593
00:24:44.329 --> 00:24:46.289
I went, I know, that's my life.
594
00:24:46.349 --> 00:24:47.470
It's brilliant, isn't it, Teresa?
595
00:24:47.490 --> 00:24:54.710
LAUGHTER it's it's actually disgraceful what what it is is
596
00:24:55.269 --> 00:24:57.690
what we have managed to do is basically real life
597
00:24:58.069 --> 00:25:01.470
sleeping lions and the beauty of that game was always
598
00:25:01.569 --> 00:25:03.410
really it was an excuse to just have a sleep
599
00:25:03.609 --> 00:25:05.490
wasn't it yeah they've turned into a game.
600
00:25:05.589 --> 00:25:09.690
Yeah so do you think that your daughter who's five
601
00:25:09.730 --> 00:25:12.119
does she know what what you do chris does she
602
00:25:12.160 --> 00:25:13.980
respect your job i got.
603
00:25:13.880 --> 00:25:17.359
I got this mad situation yesterday right and this is
604
00:25:17.619 --> 00:25:19.980
one of those kind of clang situations but for me
605
00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:22.940
it was amazing But what I will never forget is
606
00:25:22.960 --> 00:25:25.920
having to try and explain this to a five-year-old. So
607
00:25:25.940 --> 00:25:29.450
I got a letter completely out of the blue from
608
00:25:29.609 --> 00:25:34.609
Prince William yesterday. And I was gobsmacked, right? This thing
609
00:25:34.710 --> 00:25:39.900
turns up with a postage stamp from Kensington Palace. Open
610
00:25:39.920 --> 00:25:43.119
it up. Sure enough, this is lovely letter from Prince William, right?
611
00:25:43.559 --> 00:25:45.740
And I wanted to show someone this letter and I
612
00:25:46.059 --> 00:25:48.230
didn't really want to Like put it on social media
613
00:25:48.250 --> 00:25:49.289
or anything because I'm just going to get a load
614
00:25:49.309 --> 00:25:53.150
of abuse. So I go to Erin to try and
615
00:25:53.190 --> 00:25:56.069
explain the situation. So I go, do you know what, Erin?
616
00:25:56.230 --> 00:25:59.589
I've just got this letter from Prince William and she
617
00:25:59.769 --> 00:26:04.210
couldn't have given a shit. And that's what I thought.
618
00:26:04.569 --> 00:26:07.210
And I'm there trying to explain why it's important. And
619
00:26:07.259 --> 00:26:11.039
just everything she comes back with is so right. And
620
00:26:11.119 --> 00:26:12.980
everything she wants to know about the royal family is
621
00:26:13.059 --> 00:26:16.220
so right. And it's a hard one to explain this,
622
00:26:16.240 --> 00:26:19.759
but I do sometimes think, would I rather view life
623
00:26:20.119 --> 00:26:22.779
how she views it, or why am I trying to
624
00:26:22.839 --> 00:26:26.640
enforce my way of things to her? Because her way
625
00:26:26.680 --> 00:26:29.599
seems way more fun. And isn't it brilliant that something
626
00:26:29.640 --> 00:26:33.259
that obviously meant so much to me means completely nothing
627
00:26:33.319 --> 00:26:36.059
to her, but for all the right reasons.
628
00:26:36.140 --> 00:26:39.700
So what was her reasoning that it didn't cut through
629
00:26:39.740 --> 00:26:40.599
in the way you'd hoped?
630
00:26:41.000 --> 00:26:41.529
She said.
631
00:26:43.309 --> 00:26:47.029
Well, she's really into this Descendants 3 at the moment.
632
00:26:47.089 --> 00:26:49.349
She's not bothered about Descendants 1 or 2. She's bothered
633
00:26:49.369 --> 00:26:52.519
about Descendants 3. So there's references that I don't fully
634
00:26:52.559 --> 00:26:55.539
understand because I've not watched the film totally.
635
00:26:56.119 --> 00:26:59.099
You have got time between 10pm and 5am to watch
636
00:26:59.200 --> 00:26:59.980
it if you want to watch it.
637
00:27:02.130 --> 00:27:04.309
And she's just like, why has he sent you a letter?
638
00:27:04.730 --> 00:27:07.289
Very good question, actually. Why has he sent me a letter?
639
00:27:07.309 --> 00:27:08.930
Do you know what I mean? We did an interview.
640
00:27:09.309 --> 00:27:11.390
I've never followed up anything with a letter.
641
00:27:11.470 --> 00:27:13.119
Yeah, you're not getting one from me, Chris. Do you
642
00:27:13.140 --> 00:27:14.619
know what I mean? I'm very thankful, but I haven't
643
00:27:14.640 --> 00:27:16.220
got time to write a letter. I mean, I'm busy.
644
00:27:16.599 --> 00:27:19.779
Although, I would love that. It's a nice thing to do,
645
00:27:19.819 --> 00:27:21.599
isn't it? It's quite an old school way of doing things,
646
00:27:21.799 --> 00:27:24.049
I think. Yeah, I would like a letter from you
647
00:27:24.109 --> 00:27:30.099
both afterwards. Saying thank you. um yeah she was just
648
00:27:30.240 --> 00:27:32.700
she was just it was complete non-interest josh that was
649
00:27:32.720 --> 00:27:34.079
the thing it was just complete.
650
00:27:33.740 --> 00:27:35.980
Well i i think when you're that age you you
651
00:27:36.049 --> 00:27:40.210
don't realize that that is an unprecedented situation to happen
652
00:27:40.369 --> 00:27:42.049
do you know what i mean the royal family doesn't
653
00:27:42.109 --> 00:27:45.369
seem as unattainable when you're five i mean she's not
654
00:27:45.410 --> 00:27:47.630
thinking wow that's amazing but i suppose the the royal
655
00:27:47.670 --> 00:27:51.180
family are attempting to rebrand themselves to be more human
656
00:27:51.220 --> 00:27:54.690
so They're doing stuff like that. She's not fully across it,
657
00:27:54.769 --> 00:27:55.029
is she?
658
00:27:56.089 --> 00:27:58.690
It's unbelievable that he's allowed a podcast to go out
659
00:27:58.730 --> 00:28:00.609
with people where he can be a bit more vulnerable.
660
00:28:00.650 --> 00:28:04.849
He's aware of his sort of implications for the royal family.
661
00:28:05.589 --> 00:28:08.430
With all else that's going on, having something positive coming out,
662
00:28:08.470 --> 00:28:08.869
it's great.
663
00:28:09.289 --> 00:28:12.170
She's only halfway through season two of The Crown, isn't she?
664
00:28:12.210 --> 00:28:14.880
So she doesn't really understand how the royal family is developed.
665
00:28:15.230 --> 00:28:16.579
She can't connect with a new gen.
666
00:28:16.930 --> 00:28:19.799
There's something amazing about having kids where you're both on
667
00:28:19.839 --> 00:28:22.539
the same team, right? And you're just muddling through life,
668
00:28:22.619 --> 00:28:25.200
but you're coming at this thing from totally different angles.
669
00:28:25.579 --> 00:28:29.950
Her perception of the royal family is based on Descendants 3.
670
00:28:29.950 --> 00:28:32.730
It's based on, I don't know, all the Disney films
671
00:28:32.769 --> 00:28:34.470
that have been out. I don't know. I just had
672
00:28:34.490 --> 00:28:37.390
this real moment yesterday. And I think you occasionally have
673
00:28:37.410 --> 00:28:40.450
them as a dad. And there's certainly moments that at
674
00:28:40.559 --> 00:28:42.640
some point, I'm sure in your life, you look back
675
00:28:42.700 --> 00:28:44.740
on and go, wow, that was a really weird time.
676
00:28:45.769 --> 00:28:49.049
you know and and and yesterday yesterday was one of
677
00:28:49.109 --> 00:28:51.869
them but i do coming back to the job thing
678
00:28:51.970 --> 00:28:54.019
it's like i do actually feel like i do work
679
00:28:54.079 --> 00:28:58.920
quite hard um but genuinely no one respects that including
680
00:28:58.960 --> 00:28:59.680
my daughter.
681
00:29:02.240 --> 00:29:03.960
You seem to be like pretty with it though to
682
00:29:03.980 --> 00:29:07.029
have a three-week-old and a five-year-old and has it been
683
00:29:07.069 --> 00:29:09.369
smooth sailing since uh your boy was born.
684
00:29:09.490 --> 00:29:12.460
Yeah so it's all been good it's uh it's been
685
00:29:12.480 --> 00:29:14.630
a bit different for me this time around. Like the
686
00:29:14.670 --> 00:29:17.750
fact I'm even talking to you guys, because when, when
687
00:29:17.809 --> 00:29:20.309
we had Erin around about six years ago, when we
688
00:29:20.410 --> 00:29:23.589
found out I was expecting, I kind of didn't really
689
00:29:23.650 --> 00:29:26.869
want to talk about her at all. That's actually a
690
00:29:26.890 --> 00:29:30.009
wrong way to put it. I really obviously wanted to
691
00:29:30.069 --> 00:29:32.750
talk about her, but I felt very protective of her.
692
00:29:32.950 --> 00:29:33.170
Yeah.
693
00:29:33.849 --> 00:29:37.650
And then I even found like with radio one and
694
00:29:37.690 --> 00:29:40.740
stuff like that, I just, I could have, people taking
695
00:29:40.759 --> 00:29:43.400
the piss out of me about absolutely anything that's cool
696
00:29:44.220 --> 00:29:46.700
but i i just really felt like it's not something
697
00:29:46.720 --> 00:29:48.799
i could really open up about and allow people to
698
00:29:48.839 --> 00:29:50.640
have a bit of a laugh with yeah so i
699
00:29:50.680 --> 00:29:53.779
didn't really talk about the fact that i had a
700
00:29:53.819 --> 00:29:56.069
kid i And I just sort of let it be
701
00:29:56.109 --> 00:30:00.130
something that's totally private and completely away from absolutely everything
702
00:30:00.150 --> 00:30:03.019
that I do. And then this time round, when we
703
00:30:03.059 --> 00:30:06.759
were having Charlie, like without going into too much, we'd
704
00:30:07.039 --> 00:30:08.579
kind of had a bit of a tricky time last
705
00:30:08.640 --> 00:30:12.460
year and stuff like that. And anyway, Charlie has ended
706
00:30:12.529 --> 00:30:15.769
up being born and we're obviously so proud. But this
707
00:30:15.809 --> 00:30:18.809
time round, I don't know why. I just feel like
708
00:30:19.009 --> 00:30:22.039
I just want to shout about him so much. And
709
00:30:22.059 --> 00:30:24.019
that's why it was really interesting when you guys first
710
00:30:24.059 --> 00:30:27.539
invited me onto this podcast. At first, everything about it
711
00:30:27.680 --> 00:30:30.849
was kind of like, I really know. I don't want
712
00:30:30.869 --> 00:30:33.769
to do it. I don't really have a laugh about
713
00:30:33.829 --> 00:30:39.549
talking about my kids. But actually, it's something I think
714
00:30:39.829 --> 00:30:42.269
I'm okay with now. And I don't really know why.
715
00:30:42.289 --> 00:30:44.549
I don't totally know why that is. I don't know
716
00:30:44.569 --> 00:30:47.390
if you guys have felt the pressure to talk about
717
00:30:47.450 --> 00:30:48.990
kids from the off or if it's just something you
718
00:30:49.009 --> 00:30:51.470
haven't actually thought about and just thought, oh, fuck it. like,
719
00:30:51.769 --> 00:30:53.450
you know, we're just going to talk about being dads,
720
00:30:53.509 --> 00:30:55.890
but I was so overly protective.
721
00:30:56.089 --> 00:30:57.890
I think I definitely had the same thing where I
722
00:30:57.950 --> 00:31:02.069
didn't really want to talk about it on things. And
723
00:31:02.089 --> 00:31:07.289
now obviously I've done a complete 180, but, but that's
724
00:31:07.329 --> 00:31:10.269
the lockdown for you. That's losing all your work during lockdown.
725
00:31:10.390 --> 00:31:13.130
I don't think Rishi wanted to furlough about 9 million
726
00:31:13.170 --> 00:31:15.779
people either, to be honest, but things change.
727
00:31:16.039 --> 00:31:20.250
No, I think, I don't know about you, Rob, but like, I,
728
00:31:21.369 --> 00:31:24.430
I mean, this is just hilarious considering I'm talking about
729
00:31:24.450 --> 00:31:27.599
it on a parenting podcast with my name above the door.
730
00:31:28.119 --> 00:31:29.859
But I did think, I don't want to become one
731
00:31:29.880 --> 00:31:31.839
of those comedians that won't shut up about their kids.
732
00:31:32.259 --> 00:31:33.319
Do you know what I mean?
733
00:31:33.359 --> 00:31:33.640
Yeah.
734
00:31:34.940 --> 00:31:35.900
And now look at me.
735
00:31:36.059 --> 00:31:39.180
I think, though, in comedy, as a comedian, there's sometimes
736
00:31:39.220 --> 00:31:42.170
a lot of hack material about your kids. just because,
737
00:31:42.470 --> 00:31:45.049
you know, everyone, a lot of people have kids and
738
00:31:45.369 --> 00:31:47.009
it is a source of amusement and stuff like that.
739
00:31:47.069 --> 00:31:49.410
But I think that's normally just sort of not as
740
00:31:49.470 --> 00:31:51.829
skilled comedians make it hack. So then it puts you
741
00:31:51.869 --> 00:31:54.049
off doing it. But I think you can do little
742
00:31:54.089 --> 00:31:56.769
bits of stand up about having kids and stuff. But
743
00:31:57.069 --> 00:32:00.480
I found with one child, It was basically, I was
744
00:32:00.519 --> 00:32:04.480
just like, it's almost not like an accessory, but you
745
00:32:04.500 --> 00:32:06.359
just live your life and there's a kid there. But
746
00:32:06.400 --> 00:32:09.420
once you have two, your life becomes them. And especially
747
00:32:09.440 --> 00:32:12.319
as they get older and then you're nailed down with,
748
00:32:12.519 --> 00:32:14.269
you've got to be close to school. You can't go
749
00:32:14.289 --> 00:32:16.930
on holiday then. So it's just like a gradual thing.
750
00:32:17.009 --> 00:32:20.250
When you've got one, I remember taking our six-month-old to
751
00:32:20.269 --> 00:32:22.690
Copenhagen with mates and we'd go around. At one point,
752
00:32:22.710 --> 00:32:24.190
we was in a bar at like nine o'clock with
753
00:32:24.210 --> 00:32:26.470
the baby in the buggy having an espresso artini. I thought,
754
00:32:26.690 --> 00:32:27.789
this can't be right, can it?
755
00:32:27.849 --> 00:32:28.450
Is this allowed?
756
00:32:28.789 --> 00:32:31.410
What i'm doing here and then slowly and gradually you
757
00:32:31.450 --> 00:32:33.240
don't really realize it but as you have another one
758
00:32:33.599 --> 00:32:35.440
and they get older and they have their own friends
759
00:32:35.500 --> 00:32:38.200
and their own classes and schools and stuff your life
760
00:32:38.259 --> 00:32:40.299
is just them and you can't really help it you
761
00:32:40.319 --> 00:32:43.809
know so it's inevitable really that you don't do much
762
00:32:43.920 --> 00:32:45.329
else and when you do have time on your own
763
00:32:45.349 --> 00:32:47.150
you just want to lay down and watch scarface again
764
00:32:47.170 --> 00:32:49.430
i mean energy.
765
00:32:49.069 --> 00:32:51.569
I think i felt like that i think i felt
766
00:32:51.609 --> 00:32:54.390
that's a really That's really interesting how you've just put that,
767
00:32:54.410 --> 00:32:56.269
because I think it's everything my brain was thinking, but
768
00:32:56.289 --> 00:33:02.539
just can't articulate because I've had two hours sleep. But
769
00:33:02.900 --> 00:33:06.140
I also think because I was on radio, well, I
770
00:33:06.259 --> 00:33:08.579
am on Radio 1. Hopefully I still am when this
771
00:33:08.599 --> 00:33:12.910
goes out. I don't know if I don't think there
772
00:33:12.930 --> 00:33:16.069
was any pressure or anything like that. But I panicked
773
00:33:16.170 --> 00:33:19.759
and was a bit like, because I felt quite new still.
774
00:33:19.920 --> 00:33:23.240
And I think I was like, if you have a baby,
775
00:33:23.259 --> 00:33:26.160
suddenly it's like you've changed.
776
00:33:26.299 --> 00:33:29.039
It's the young station, isn't it? It's the young cool station,
777
00:33:29.079 --> 00:33:29.380
isn't it?
778
00:33:29.420 --> 00:33:29.609
Yeah.
779
00:33:29.640 --> 00:33:31.410
Did you feel like it wasn't young and cool to
780
00:33:31.450 --> 00:33:32.210
be a parent? I don't know.
781
00:33:32.329 --> 00:33:36.569
Because I'm super aware that so much of our audience
782
00:33:37.230 --> 00:33:40.349
have kids and actually be an amazing thing to share.
783
00:33:40.369 --> 00:33:40.450
Yeah.
784
00:33:40.950 --> 00:33:43.950
But I just wondered if, I think, especially around the
785
00:33:43.990 --> 00:33:47.079
time that we found out we were expecting, I don't know.
786
00:33:47.099 --> 00:33:48.940
How old were you, Chris?
787
00:33:48.960 --> 00:33:51.440
Sorry, when you were first expecting, how old are you now?
788
00:33:51.660 --> 00:33:53.240
So I would have been 26.
789
00:33:53.240 --> 00:33:57.059
Yeah, because that's pretty young, really, to have kids.
790
00:33:57.480 --> 00:33:59.279
And you're on Radio 1, which is a pressure to
791
00:33:59.319 --> 00:34:01.359
sort of be young and trendy, as it were.
792
00:34:01.380 --> 00:34:06.109
Oh, my God, trendy. I mean, Rob, you're giving yourself
793
00:34:06.119 --> 00:34:07.789
away there, mate. I've just caught myself at the breakfast
794
00:34:07.809 --> 00:34:08.190
show gig.
795
00:34:09.070 --> 00:34:13.210
Thing is, Radio 1, there's never been anything from that
796
00:34:13.250 --> 00:34:15.449
side or any kind of pressure. It's just like for
797
00:34:15.530 --> 00:34:18.610
me personally, I felt like I still felt quite new.
798
00:34:18.889 --> 00:34:22.389
I felt like it wasn't too long after I'd just
799
00:34:22.429 --> 00:34:26.840
done that Mila Kunis interview. And I felt like suddenly
800
00:34:26.940 --> 00:34:28.679
there was a bit more like I was doing a
801
00:34:29.059 --> 00:34:32.639
new show on Channel 4. And I suddenly was scared
802
00:34:32.699 --> 00:34:34.980
to show an actual side of me, which was the
803
00:34:35.039 --> 00:34:37.889
most important side. for fear that it could go the
804
00:34:37.929 --> 00:34:40.969
way of like literally everything else, which is, I don't know,
805
00:34:41.030 --> 00:34:43.230
that you're seen to be like fun and young and
806
00:34:43.289 --> 00:34:47.429
exciting and new. And actually with hindsight, that was totally
807
00:34:47.469 --> 00:34:50.449
wrong because what's been so refreshing this time is just
808
00:34:50.469 --> 00:34:52.980
being able to embrace it properly and talk about it.
809
00:34:53.409 --> 00:34:55.420
And the day after Charlie was born, I managed to
810
00:34:55.440 --> 00:34:57.659
go on the radio. We were doing the breakfast show
811
00:34:57.679 --> 00:35:00.550
and I just phoned in and just talked about you know,
812
00:35:00.610 --> 00:35:04.320
the brilliant midwives and, you know, just how happy I was.
813
00:35:04.460 --> 00:35:06.579
And it was so liberating. And it was so lovely
814
00:35:06.599 --> 00:35:08.400
to see all the messages from people that come back.
815
00:35:08.940 --> 00:35:10.719
A lot of people who said that they've struggled to
816
00:35:10.760 --> 00:35:13.820
have kids and, and, you know, even just that little
817
00:35:13.840 --> 00:35:15.659
bit of radio kind of resonated with them. And that was,
818
00:35:15.860 --> 00:35:18.590
that was really nice for me. And so it feels
819
00:35:18.630 --> 00:35:21.690
very liberating doing this podcast, knowing a lot of people
820
00:35:21.769 --> 00:35:24.849
are hearing this and, and it's a very different, I
821
00:35:24.889 --> 00:35:27.409
hate people talking third person, but I'm going to have
822
00:35:27.449 --> 00:35:30.650
to for this, but It feels like almost a different Chris.
823
00:35:31.030 --> 00:35:32.929
You know, the fact that I look back and I
824
00:35:32.969 --> 00:35:35.289
know I couldn't do anything like that then, but I
825
00:35:35.329 --> 00:35:36.449
feel like I can do it now.
826
00:35:36.469 --> 00:35:39.110
I think that's great. I think it's, you know, I
827
00:35:39.389 --> 00:35:41.929
definitely used to think you'd see people sharing their lives
828
00:35:41.989 --> 00:35:43.809
a lot. And I still do it when you see
829
00:35:43.829 --> 00:35:46.050
people on Instagram or whatever and you're like, come on, mate.
830
00:35:46.550 --> 00:35:48.969
That's a bit, you're selling your life a bit there.
831
00:35:49.349 --> 00:35:51.429
But I'd always be like, no, you won't get me
832
00:35:51.590 --> 00:35:53.869
doing that or whatever. But actually, I think there is
833
00:35:53.909 --> 00:35:56.610
an element where The more you share, people get to
834
00:35:56.679 --> 00:35:59.880
know you. And that's the funniest. The funniest things about
835
00:35:59.920 --> 00:36:02.480
you are actually the most honest things about you, if
836
00:36:02.519 --> 00:36:04.239
you know what I mean. Yeah, 100%. And it's just
837
00:36:04.280 --> 00:36:06.699
kind of admitting that to yourself. And the most interesting
838
00:36:06.719 --> 00:36:09.219
things about you are the most honest things about you
839
00:36:09.239 --> 00:36:11.159
because that's kind of what consumes you normally.
840
00:36:11.719 --> 00:36:15.360
But you've got to have confidence and a belief that
841
00:36:15.409 --> 00:36:20.070
that's okay. And I think that's the same in anyone's life.
842
00:36:20.170 --> 00:36:22.530
I don't think this is just about being honest. you know,
843
00:36:22.750 --> 00:36:25.070
on the radio or a comedian or a presenter or whatever.
844
00:36:25.090 --> 00:36:26.869
Yeah, it could be people in other jobs that don't
845
00:36:26.889 --> 00:36:28.550
want to admit that they've got kids or something in
846
00:36:28.570 --> 00:36:30.389
case they're deemed as they're not going to be as
847
00:36:30.449 --> 00:36:32.719
ambitious enough or as committed to the job because they've
848
00:36:32.739 --> 00:36:33.260
got families.
849
00:36:33.280 --> 00:36:34.280
There's a pressure in all jobs.
850
00:36:34.300 --> 00:36:37.300
Yeah, or just like you can be a group. I
851
00:36:37.320 --> 00:36:38.940
was the first one out of my group of mates
852
00:36:38.980 --> 00:36:41.929
to have a kid and suddenly certain things stopped. You know, I,
853
00:36:42.159 --> 00:36:43.980
it's definitely, and I want to talk about this in
854
00:36:44.000 --> 00:36:46.929
a minute because I definitely, you don't you play golf.
855
00:36:46.789 --> 00:36:48.429
Rob i've just started yeah.
856
00:36:48.429 --> 00:36:51.150
Yeah so i really need to kind of wangle this
857
00:36:51.449 --> 00:36:54.670
into my life because like crouchy was saying the same
858
00:36:54.690 --> 00:37:01.909
thing you've got to have gold because it's the perfect have.
859
00:37:00.989 --> 00:37:03.170
You thought about getting a um is there any golf
860
00:37:03.210 --> 00:37:06.210
courses open from about 1 a.m to 4 a.m because that.
861
00:37:07.590 --> 00:37:11.460
Well You could be a multimillionaire here, Josh, of this
862
00:37:11.559 --> 00:37:15.360
idea alone, in my opinion. What a brilliant idea that
863
00:37:15.389 --> 00:37:17.590
you open up the driving range at one in the morning,
864
00:37:17.730 --> 00:37:20.170
fire up the lights, and it's all just dads and
865
00:37:20.190 --> 00:37:22.590
their kids just rocking in a little chair behind.
866
00:37:22.630 --> 00:37:25.329
Yeah, on the golf cart. Just in a little adapted
867
00:37:25.369 --> 00:37:27.079
golf cart with a net of a cot in it.
868
00:37:27.510 --> 00:37:28.969
But I was the first one out of my group
869
00:37:29.010 --> 00:37:31.719
of mates that have a kid. And they were lovely
870
00:37:31.760 --> 00:37:34.199
and supportive, but they didn't get it. And life went
871
00:37:34.260 --> 00:37:36.119
on as normal for them. And they would go out
872
00:37:36.179 --> 00:37:39.179
every weekend to go get trashed and And for me,
873
00:37:39.800 --> 00:37:42.400
you know, work was getting a bit busier, but having
874
00:37:42.440 --> 00:37:44.699
a baby, it was kind of weird. They were supportive,
875
00:37:44.719 --> 00:37:46.510
but I didn't really feel that I could talk to
876
00:37:46.570 --> 00:37:49.630
most of them properly about being a dad. And now
877
00:37:49.690 --> 00:37:51.989
that's really different. And I feel like they're all a
878
00:37:52.010 --> 00:37:54.409
lot more invested. And I don't know, maybe it's just
879
00:37:54.429 --> 00:37:56.360
that they're a bit older and they're used to having
880
00:37:56.579 --> 00:37:58.960
kids around now. Like, you know, I was the first.
881
00:37:59.289 --> 00:37:59.590
Yeah.
882
00:37:59.889 --> 00:38:01.469
It's awful when you go in their house and you
883
00:38:01.510 --> 00:38:03.039
don't realize how much of a house is a death
884
00:38:03.079 --> 00:38:05.780
trap until you take around your like mate's house. He's like,
885
00:38:05.820 --> 00:38:07.960
he's on his own out every weekend. And there's just
886
00:38:08.000 --> 00:38:10.139
like ashtray there on the floor. I'll just move that.
887
00:38:10.159 --> 00:38:13.219
Shall I? Yeah, it's fine. That candle's a light. No problem.
888
00:38:13.920 --> 00:38:16.579
I think that's, I, cause I was like a group
889
00:38:16.619 --> 00:38:18.179
of mates. I've got, we were the first ones to
890
00:38:18.219 --> 00:38:19.920
have kids and there's others that have got kids now,
891
00:38:20.480 --> 00:38:24.159
but I genuinely, I felt resentful, I think. And those first,
892
00:38:24.219 --> 00:38:28.610
maybe three to six months. And it wasn't, their fault
893
00:38:28.650 --> 00:38:30.730
in any way but i'd be like they don't come
894
00:38:30.750 --> 00:38:32.909
around as much it's not they don't come around as
895
00:38:32.969 --> 00:38:35.630
much it's just that i was in all the time
896
00:38:36.150 --> 00:38:38.880
and so i wasn't going out with people every weekend
897
00:38:39.340 --> 00:38:41.719
and of course it's not their responsibility to give up
898
00:38:41.739 --> 00:38:42.719
their social.
899
00:38:42.420 --> 00:38:44.420
Lives no it's not their fault if you look at
900
00:38:44.440 --> 00:38:47.159
a saturday right and lads have been working through the
901
00:38:47.179 --> 00:38:51.710
week comes the weekend yeah obviously my wife is getting
902
00:38:51.730 --> 00:38:53.429
a bit offended by the fact that she's and she's
903
00:38:53.469 --> 00:38:55.610
right she's like look they haven't they haven't come over
904
00:38:55.670 --> 00:38:58.869
what kind of mates and i'm like Yeah, but they wouldn't.
905
00:38:59.070 --> 00:39:00.929
They're not the kind of person to come sit around
906
00:39:00.949 --> 00:39:03.300
and have a cup of tea and hold the baby
907
00:39:03.360 --> 00:39:06.300
and things like that. I'm sure they're very proud that
908
00:39:06.360 --> 00:39:08.650
I'm a dad, but you've got to realise that your
909
00:39:08.690 --> 00:39:11.840
mates don't change the same way you do, and nor
910
00:39:11.860 --> 00:39:12.300
should they.
911
00:39:12.360 --> 00:39:14.559
No, I find that boring and it's my own kid.
912
00:39:14.940 --> 00:39:18.059
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and I don't like really going over
913
00:39:18.099 --> 00:39:21.000
to other people's houses to kind of do that.
914
00:39:21.099 --> 00:39:24.349
I'm very little interested in other people's children, if none
915
00:39:24.389 --> 00:39:25.610
at all, if I'm brutally honest.
916
00:39:25.809 --> 00:39:28.510
I'll tell you what surprised me is actually, and come
917
00:39:28.719 --> 00:39:30.380
come back to what we're saying before is when you
918
00:39:30.420 --> 00:39:32.659
then have a proper conversation with your mates if you
919
00:39:32.719 --> 00:39:36.380
can do it it's okay that they don't change but
920
00:39:36.420 --> 00:39:38.699
they all they still sort of love you the same
921
00:39:39.219 --> 00:39:41.559
and then what's great is you then go on a
922
00:39:41.619 --> 00:39:44.639
stag do even if it's a year later six months
923
00:39:44.699 --> 00:39:48.179
later And it's like it's never changed. And I was
924
00:39:48.219 --> 00:39:50.420
so worried that all their life they were still doing
925
00:39:50.460 --> 00:39:53.289
these things and fun things like just being able to
926
00:39:53.329 --> 00:39:55.210
go to the pub three times a week or like
927
00:39:55.250 --> 00:39:57.869
Champions League on a Tuesday. When I'm in with the baby,
928
00:39:57.909 --> 00:40:00.670
they're all there watching it, having a curry, getting leery.
929
00:40:01.210 --> 00:40:04.800
And actually, you then meet up with them six months later,
930
00:40:04.820 --> 00:40:07.199
a year later, nothing's changed. They love you just the same.
931
00:40:07.619 --> 00:40:09.900
And then you find that actually... they've been getting on
932
00:40:09.940 --> 00:40:13.679
with things in their life. And this idea that everything
933
00:40:13.840 --> 00:40:16.260
has stayed the same from before you had a kid,
934
00:40:16.659 --> 00:40:19.840
it actually isn't true. And you beat yourself up about it.
935
00:40:20.139 --> 00:40:22.659
And also, well, I think you go, oh God, I
936
00:40:22.679 --> 00:40:23.989
wish I could be doing that out with all the
937
00:40:24.030 --> 00:40:26.550
boys and stuff. But some of them may be struggling
938
00:40:26.590 --> 00:40:29.210
to conceive and probably going, oh God, I wish I
939
00:40:29.309 --> 00:40:30.969
was at home with the baby like Chris is. It
940
00:40:30.989 --> 00:40:33.210
looks so lovely there set up. So everyone is sort
941
00:40:33.250 --> 00:40:35.090
of worried, overly worried.
942
00:40:35.110 --> 00:40:35.710
Yeah, exactly.
943
00:40:36.030 --> 00:40:38.710
I think also you've got to remember that Is there
944
00:40:38.889 --> 00:40:43.239
any joy like that moment when the next friend tells
945
00:40:43.280 --> 00:40:45.360
you they're pregnant and you realise that you are no
946
00:40:45.409 --> 00:40:47.760
longer alone and they're going to suffer in silence with
947
00:40:47.800 --> 00:40:48.320
you as well?
948
00:40:51.559 --> 00:40:55.679
It's mutual destruction. It's that whole screwing over.
949
00:40:55.860 --> 00:40:57.659
Come with me. Yeah, it's like getting a bunch of
950
00:40:57.679 --> 00:40:59.820
shots to the night out. I'm getting drunk, you're getting
951
00:40:59.840 --> 00:41:01.500
drunk with me. Have another one, it'll be fine.
952
00:41:06.780 --> 00:41:09.530
Hey, Josh, I'm writing down this idea here. So this
953
00:41:09.570 --> 00:41:11.409
late night golf course.
954
00:41:13.070 --> 00:41:13.590
It's brilliant.
955
00:41:13.690 --> 00:41:17.329
So I'm thinking like a driving range open between those
956
00:41:17.369 --> 00:41:22.400
hours exclusively for dads with kids. And then the kid
957
00:41:22.920 --> 00:41:25.199
goes into, we got given one of these as a
958
00:41:25.239 --> 00:41:28.619
gift and I thought it was fucking mental when I
959
00:41:28.679 --> 00:41:32.619
first saw it. But it's brilliant. And it's a chair
960
00:41:32.639 --> 00:41:35.150
that you put the kid into and then press a
961
00:41:35.190 --> 00:41:38.960
button on it. And it moves it in different formations.
962
00:41:39.159 --> 00:41:45.710
So you can choose like rocking or car and it
963
00:41:45.730 --> 00:41:49.269
just moves the whole chair. It's like something off Star Wars,
964
00:41:49.329 --> 00:41:51.090
you know, it's the nuts. And I think one of
965
00:41:51.150 --> 00:41:52.190
those just behind.
966
00:41:52.570 --> 00:41:52.710
Yeah.
967
00:41:52.789 --> 00:41:54.269
Or just at the end of the driving range, you
968
00:41:54.289 --> 00:41:55.949
have to try and turn it on and off with
969
00:41:56.010 --> 00:41:57.190
the golf ball.
970
00:41:57.300 --> 00:41:58.300
It can be a real challenge.
971
00:41:58.610 --> 00:42:01.739
Yeah. Or what you do, it's a bit sick this,
972
00:42:02.059 --> 00:42:05.099
but you know, the car, the machine, the truck thing,
973
00:42:05.590 --> 00:42:07.869
that goes and clears all the balls on the driving range,
974
00:42:07.909 --> 00:42:09.340
but it's heavily fortified.
975
00:42:09.659 --> 00:42:09.889
Yeah.
976
00:42:10.019 --> 00:42:10.260
Right.
977
00:42:10.860 --> 00:42:13.619
What happens is you load your child into that van.
978
00:42:13.760 --> 00:42:16.219
It's all made safe for kids, right? Because it's heavily fortified.
979
00:42:16.380 --> 00:42:18.780
So you put your child in there. Someone then drives
980
00:42:18.820 --> 00:42:22.300
them around the golf, you know, the driving range. So
981
00:42:22.349 --> 00:42:24.650
they're clearing the balls, which is their main job. But
982
00:42:24.730 --> 00:42:27.130
also for some reason, when kids go into a car,
983
00:42:27.150 --> 00:42:30.130
they fall asleep doing that. And then all the dads
984
00:42:30.329 --> 00:42:33.010
try and aim to hit the truck like they do
985
00:42:33.070 --> 00:42:35.199
at the driving range when the thing's clearing up the balls.
986
00:42:35.639 --> 00:42:37.300
So everyone wins, you know?
987
00:42:38.619 --> 00:42:40.599
Well, we've completely lost Josh, Chris. I don't know where
988
00:42:40.639 --> 00:42:40.840
he is.
989
00:42:41.000 --> 00:42:43.619
But thank you so much. You've been an absolute joy.
990
00:42:43.900 --> 00:42:45.340
And let's get a game of golf in and we'll
991
00:42:45.360 --> 00:42:46.469
put it out as a podcast.
992
00:42:46.530 --> 00:42:51.210
Yeah, we've definitely got to do this, 100%. Also, thanks
993
00:42:51.250 --> 00:42:53.969
so much for having me on this. It's genuinely been
994
00:42:54.010 --> 00:42:58.019
so much fun. I'm not meaning to impose it, but
995
00:42:58.260 --> 00:43:01.159
I'd love to come on again because it's genuinely such
996
00:43:01.179 --> 00:43:03.650
a release. to talk about things in a way that
997
00:43:04.030 --> 00:43:06.550
I don't think I've talked about before. So it's fun.
998
00:43:07.170 --> 00:43:07.670
Always good.
999
00:43:07.690 --> 00:43:10.599
And also what's quite interesting, I think having guests back,
1000
00:43:10.800 --> 00:43:12.780
we can, you know, when you're talking about your kids,
1001
00:43:12.800 --> 00:43:14.900
they're always such a different stage and there's so much
1002
00:43:14.960 --> 00:43:16.320
more to talk about, you know what I mean? So
1003
00:43:16.380 --> 00:43:18.269
it's not like, going like, oh, this podcast is about
1004
00:43:18.289 --> 00:43:22.409
your first day at work. It's an evolving situation. So
1005
00:43:22.429 --> 00:43:23.989
let's get you back on in a few months, play
1006
00:43:24.050 --> 00:43:24.690
a round of golf.
1007
00:43:25.030 --> 00:43:28.730
Yeah, you know me, Rob. Next time you have someone cancel,
1008
00:43:29.369 --> 00:43:29.960
I'm ready to go.
1009
00:43:29.989 --> 00:43:30.300
Always.
1010
00:43:30.409 --> 00:43:32.380
And also, Chris, we're going to tee off at 5am.
1011
00:43:32.400 --> 00:43:34.320
Will that help in your schedule?
1012
00:43:34.360 --> 00:43:37.360
Bang on, mate.
1013
00:43:37.440 --> 00:43:40.099
Raring to go up all night. Anyway, thanks, Chris, so much.
1014
00:43:40.139 --> 00:43:40.519
Cheers, lads.
1015
00:43:40.539 --> 00:43:45.170
Cheers, mate. Bye-bye. Well, I think we should start by
1016
00:43:45.250 --> 00:43:48.260
saying thank you to Chris Stark. Absolutely wonderful. I can
1017
00:43:48.320 --> 00:43:49.980
only apologise for my technical problems.
1018
00:43:50.320 --> 00:43:52.579
Well, yes, but you can apologise to him in the
1019
00:43:52.619 --> 00:43:53.739
letter that you're going to send.
1020
00:43:53.760 --> 00:43:56.929
Say thank you.
1021
00:43:57.570 --> 00:44:01.570
I'm very sorry. I was desperately trying to get my
1022
00:44:01.610 --> 00:44:03.449
computer to work again in an attempt to kind of
1023
00:44:03.789 --> 00:44:06.150
come back into the room. But, you know, I thought,
1024
00:44:06.789 --> 00:44:09.650
This is podcasting, mate. It's loose. It's real.
1025
00:44:10.050 --> 00:44:12.090
And then you said it'll just add texture. Your text
1026
00:44:12.110 --> 00:44:13.570
went off. My computer's broke.
1027
00:44:13.590 --> 00:44:15.590
It'll add texture to me coming back. It just sort
1028
00:44:15.610 --> 00:44:16.170
of petered out.
1029
00:44:16.409 --> 00:44:18.769
But it's fine, though, isn't it? It's stuff like that happens, Josh.
1030
00:44:19.110 --> 00:44:20.929
But it was a great episode, I think. It was
1031
00:44:20.969 --> 00:44:24.409
very open and honest. We should get more vulnerable people
1032
00:44:24.469 --> 00:44:26.019
that haven't slept all night and ask them to do
1033
00:44:26.039 --> 00:44:27.079
a podcast at 9 a.m.
1034
00:44:27.739 --> 00:44:30.519
Exactly. What I love about this show is you can
1035
00:44:30.639 --> 00:44:35.059
swing from the absolute absurdity of someone watching Scarface at
1036
00:44:35.059 --> 00:44:39.429
2 a.m. to 10 minutes later discussing like what it
1037
00:44:39.489 --> 00:44:41.880
means to them to be a parent and whether they're
1038
00:44:41.900 --> 00:44:43.699
willing to admit that to the world do you know
1039
00:44:43.719 --> 00:44:45.480
what i mean it's bad isn't it chris is a
1040
00:44:45.539 --> 00:44:48.269
brilliant broadcaster and um you know obviously i don't listen
1041
00:44:48.289 --> 00:44:52.139
to radio on because i'm 37 but um I thought
1042
00:44:52.159 --> 00:44:54.300
Radio 1 lost it when it started employing parents, if
1043
00:44:54.360 --> 00:44:55.460
I'm honest. I think they should be.
1044
00:44:55.579 --> 00:45:01.010
Oh, don't you dare. Poor old Starco. No, I think it's, yeah,
1045
00:45:01.110 --> 00:45:02.230
it was really sweet actually.
1046
00:45:02.250 --> 00:45:04.489
It's weird because what I find interesting when we talk
1047
00:45:04.510 --> 00:45:06.309
to people is like, you have certain people that you
1048
00:45:06.329 --> 00:45:07.989
think may be a bit more serious than others and stuff.
1049
00:45:08.010 --> 00:45:09.800
And Chris Stark always had down as, you know, and
1050
00:45:09.820 --> 00:45:11.780
he was really funny and silly and stuff.
1051
00:45:11.800 --> 00:45:13.559
But also he like, it really showed like how much
1052
00:45:13.619 --> 00:45:15.099
it means to him being a parent and stuff.
1053
00:45:15.139 --> 00:45:17.260
And, It's nice that we can chat about that and
1054
00:45:17.880 --> 00:45:20.539
sometimes be a little bit more poignant than it is
1055
00:45:20.639 --> 00:45:22.659
in just, I had shit on my head from my kid,
1056
00:45:22.880 --> 00:45:26.320
which is funny. It does happen, but not every episode
1057
00:45:26.360 --> 00:45:28.699
can be that. Not everyone can have shit on their face.
1058
00:45:28.719 --> 00:45:30.030
That's what I'm saying. Not everyone can have shit on
1059
00:45:30.050 --> 00:45:32.889
their face. That is the first rule of comedy. And
1060
00:45:32.949 --> 00:45:35.050
I should say to our listeners, do get in touch
1061
00:45:35.550 --> 00:45:35.929
if you.
1062
00:45:36.130 --> 00:45:37.010
Have had shit on your face.
1063
00:45:37.349 --> 00:45:38.730
If you have either shit on your face or you
1064
00:45:38.750 --> 00:45:40.369
want to wade into the what should I wear in
1065
00:45:40.389 --> 00:45:41.769
the bath with my children debate.
1066
00:45:41.989 --> 00:45:42.289
Yes.
1067
00:45:42.389 --> 00:45:43.909
Is Rob Beckett approved?
1068
00:45:44.329 --> 00:45:47.329
Yeah, I just, yeah. I don't know what's right anymore.
1069
00:45:47.469 --> 00:45:48.809
Do you know what I mean?
1070
00:45:48.849 --> 00:45:50.489
I don't know what's right. Mate, it's 2020. I don't
1071
00:45:50.510 --> 00:45:52.090
know whether I can show my daughter my knob.
1072
00:45:52.190 --> 00:45:55.360
I don't know. Can I show children my dick? Yes
1073
00:45:55.429 --> 00:45:57.400
or no? Answer's on a postcard.
1074
00:45:57.460 --> 00:46:01.599
It's 2020. It has to be your children, Rob. Implicitly,
1075
00:46:01.960 --> 00:46:02.739
it's only your.
1076
00:46:02.619 --> 00:46:03.380
Children we're talking about.
1077
00:46:03.400 --> 00:46:04.780
Even if it is your own children, you can't just
1078
00:46:04.860 --> 00:46:07.260
show them your dick. If your dick's out because you're
1079
00:46:07.280 --> 00:46:09.360
having a piss or you're in the shower, fine. But
1080
00:46:09.440 --> 00:46:11.519
even if they're my own children, I'm not allowed to
1081
00:46:11.539 --> 00:46:12.300
show them my dick.
1082
00:46:12.320 --> 00:46:13.079
That's a rule.
1083
00:46:13.380 --> 00:46:16.219
Surely. But even in the, even in the mad news world.
1084
00:46:16.239 --> 00:46:20.110
The new normal, I'm just going to have to put
1085
00:46:20.150 --> 00:46:21.820
my hand up and go, I'm not happy with it.
1086
00:46:21.849 --> 00:46:23.969
You can't, you can't in the new normal post COVID,
1087
00:46:23.989 --> 00:46:25.789
you can't do dick out to help out. You can't
1088
00:46:25.829 --> 00:46:26.690
do that.
1089
00:46:28.170 --> 00:46:31.530
Dishy rishy, dicks out all round, dicks out half price.
1090
00:46:31.570 --> 00:46:32.050
Let's go.
1091
00:46:32.070 --> 00:46:33.150
It's the new normal.
1092
00:46:34.820 --> 00:46:38.920
Thank you to Chris. Obviously he features on the Scott
1093
00:46:38.940 --> 00:46:41.260
Mills show on radio one and also on the podcast.
1094
00:46:41.809 --> 00:46:45.440
most popular podcast in the world, the Peter Crouch podcast.
1095
00:46:45.500 --> 00:46:47.739
I think Joe Rogan and Rosie Ramsey would have something
1096
00:46:47.760 --> 00:46:49.039
to say about that.
1097
00:46:49.099 --> 00:46:51.300
Yeah. I don't know if they'd say it together. That'd
1098
00:46:51.320 --> 00:46:53.079
be a strange duo to bump into.
1099
00:46:53.119 --> 00:46:57.130
Yeah, Rogan just texts Rosie. You never guess what Widdicombe
1100
00:46:57.150 --> 00:47:01.219
said about Stark. Yeah, sure, they're top three. But they're
1101
00:47:01.239 --> 00:47:02.980
not the big dogs, are they? Do you reckon we
1102
00:47:03.000 --> 00:47:05.360
should start going on other people's podcasts to just talk
1103
00:47:05.380 --> 00:47:07.219
about ours the whole time? If we went on, like,
1104
00:47:07.260 --> 00:47:09.750
the off-menu one, the food one, and go, for breakfast,
1105
00:47:09.929 --> 00:47:15.849
I'd have Coco Pops, because my daughter loves them.
1106
00:47:16.230 --> 00:47:17.610
Just always bring it back round.
1107
00:47:17.630 --> 00:47:19.630
That's what we should do whenever we do something as
1108
00:47:19.690 --> 00:47:20.699
a podcast.
1109
00:47:20.780 --> 00:47:23.380
I'd love to hear you getting stoned with Joe Rogan
1110
00:47:23.400 --> 00:47:25.559
and discussing whether you should be a libertarian, Rob.
1111
00:47:25.659 --> 00:47:28.360
Oh, yeah, anti-masker. That's what I'd chat about.
1112
00:47:29.829 --> 00:47:32.860
Talking about how the man doesn't understand firearms laws.
1113
00:47:33.239 --> 00:47:35.619
Yeah, exactly. The NRA do a lot of good work
1114
00:47:35.659 --> 00:47:36.440
for charity.
1115
00:47:36.460 --> 00:47:42.349
This is a real podcast deep cut for anyone that
1116
00:47:42.389 --> 00:47:43.570
just listens for a bit of parenting.
1117
00:47:43.710 --> 00:47:46.829
Oh no, David Tennant started doing a podcast. Fuck's sake,
1118
00:47:46.849 --> 00:47:48.090
we're up against Doctor Who now.
1119
00:47:48.889 --> 00:47:50.849
No, it's his second series. It's his second series.
1120
00:47:51.150 --> 00:47:51.690
Oh, really?
1121
00:47:51.889 --> 00:47:52.289
Oh, yeah.
1122
00:47:52.369 --> 00:47:54.369
I didn't know he had a first one, to be honest.
1123
00:47:54.409 --> 00:47:56.130
And if he wants to come on and promote it,
1124
00:47:56.170 --> 00:47:57.449
David Taylor's got four kids.
1125
00:47:57.929 --> 00:47:59.050
Yes, get him on.
1126
00:47:59.090 --> 00:48:01.329
Okay, well, you've got to start reviewing us again, because
1127
00:48:01.369 --> 00:48:03.260
that's why we need to review people.
1128
00:48:03.469 --> 00:48:04.940
Yeah. And we need you to rate us.
1129
00:48:04.960 --> 00:48:06.960
Because at the moment, number one in the charts is
1130
00:48:07.380 --> 00:48:09.920
the good, the bad, and the rugby, which I can
1131
00:48:09.980 --> 00:48:11.719
only imagine is a pile of shit.
1132
00:48:12.960 --> 00:48:18.579
LAUGHTER Do you know what? I've met James Haskell. I've
1133
00:48:18.599 --> 00:48:21.280
seen what size he is. I think their podcast is exceptional.
1134
00:48:21.840 --> 00:48:23.739
But Rob, if you want to call it shit, you
1135
00:48:23.760 --> 00:48:25.210
can call it shit, mate. Oh, yeah.
1136
00:48:25.329 --> 00:48:26.869
Well, I've called it shit, I know now, so I'll
1137
00:48:26.889 --> 00:48:29.210
have to just deal with that. I'm sure it's fine
1138
00:48:29.269 --> 00:48:30.530
if you like rugby, but I don't.
1139
00:48:31.090 --> 00:48:32.949
Well, have Mike Tindall on, because isn't he married to
1140
00:48:32.969 --> 00:48:33.389
a royal?
1141
00:48:33.750 --> 00:48:34.650
Yes, Zara.
1142
00:48:34.670 --> 00:48:38.170
Yeah, I tell you what, rugby, it's the gentleman's game.
1143
00:48:38.929 --> 00:48:40.570
And I've always.
1144
00:48:40.590 --> 00:48:42.750
You know what? Sometimes when you haven't given enough time
1145
00:48:42.789 --> 00:48:44.289
to a sport, you can fall in love with it.
1146
00:48:44.309 --> 00:48:47.489
So... You know, yeah, let's get Tindall on.
1147
00:48:47.590 --> 00:48:48.219
That'd be good, wouldn't it?
1148
00:48:48.489 --> 00:48:51.889
Haskell, Tindall, Payne, we'll see you there. Thank you for listening.
1149
00:48:52.170 --> 00:48:55.469
It's been an absolute pleasure. We will be back on
1150
00:48:55.750 --> 00:49:00.030
Friday where we'll be going through all of your correspondence.
1151
00:49:00.070 --> 00:49:02.530
Shit on your face, shorts on your body, that kind
1152
00:49:02.570 --> 00:49:02.829
of thing.
1153
00:49:02.929 --> 00:49:03.929
Bye.
1154
00:49:04.030 --> 00:49:04.929
Bye. Bye.